The Adventurous Couple’s Guide to Sex Toy
$14.95
from Amazon
It’s interesting that I’ve read Violet Blue’s blog on and off for years without reading anything of hers in print (well, I did read books that she’s edited). Now, I can add that to my to-done list, which is my version of a bucket list — only I add things that I’ve already done. The Adventurous Couple’s Guide to Sex Toys is intended to be the book about sex toys, the Bible of sex toys. I’m not quite sure that I’d swear an oath on this book, but I’d probably recommend it to most people.
If you’re not familiar with the author, her work or her expertise in the field, the forward by Charlie Glickman talks about her experience working for Good Vibes. You can also check out her blog here. Charlie, who has asides through the book, co-wrote the Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure, which I really liked. Both the forward and the content of the book really dive right into the subject. It’s a no-nonsense approach that could maybe be a little more “inviting” by giving some stats about how many people enjoy sex toys of something of that nature. If you’re curious but not quite adventurous, you’ll get the gist that sex toys are fun, but this book might not be as reassuring as you’d like.
This doesn’t mean that the book isn’t useful, however. On the whole, the things I had problems with were very specific and probably only bothersome to me because I do know as much as I do about sex toys. The gen– doesn’t mention not to use silicone The Adventurous Couple’s Guide to Sex Toys was just fine. Most people would be just fine if they followed the advice that I have to nitpick, and many people wouldn’t even notice what seemed like errors to me. You want examples? Okay!
Cons
- Violent mentions water-based lube as the most common (true) but only discussed silicone-based lube as an aside. I saw no mention of not using it with silicone toys.
- In the first chapter, which contains information about cleaning toys, Violet recommends antibacterial soap but doesn’t mention that soaps containing triclosan must remain on an item for 2 minutes to be effective
- She also says that no clear silicone exists. While translucent toys typically are made of jelly/rubber/PVC, Jollies dildo are somewhat translucent.
- Although she mentions wooden dildos, there was no mention given to any of them or brands like NobEssence. Um, what?
- While she mentions vaginal balls, I don’t recall a specific naming of any brand or recommends about safety; i.e. don’t use disgusting balls with string connectors. Eww.
- There’s no mention of the Liberator Throe, which I haven’t reviewed on this blog but still remains one of the most coveted items in my collection.
- Violet spends a bit of time on camming as part of cybersex. I guess I don’t personally find this to be toy-y in my mind. Anyway, she talks about how webcams basically suck and that you have to buy them, ignoring the fact that almost all computers are equipped with a cam, and many phones have front-facing cameras. She then goes on to give a very specific HTML code about refreshing your website when showing your streaming cam but doesn’t say how to do that in the first place. Given the lack of relevant and timeliness, this entire section is unnecessary.
I did find it curious that every.single.time Violet mentioned a website or brand that I was not familiar with, the website no longer existed. This was the case with Luv Seat and Clear Ecstasy. The latter is a glass dildo maker and while I can find items from the company on retailers, they’re unimpressive and not what she was talking about. Similarly, Violet mentions a programmable vibrator by Je Joue, which I believe to be the predecessor to Sasi, which the company no longer makes. A little fact-checking would have gone a long way. This is especially true when you consider that this is the second version, which means it should specifically correct those errors.
I didn’t hate the book, however. It’s just much better suited to someone who couldn’t have written it. In fact, I found that there was very little information that isn’t freely available online, some of it even on Of Sex and Love.
Pros
- Violet includes a section about risks of spreading diseases and infections through sharing sex toys, anal/oral and penetrative sex in the very last chapter. This might be the most useful representation I’ve yet seen of
- The book is neither homophobic nor heteronormative. With general references to partners, gay and straight people alike will find it suitable for them.
- The information about sex machines was definitely more than I knew before picking up this book — er, the PDF version, that is.
- The same goes for USB toys, some of which you can actually have a partner control from their own computer. I had no idea about this before.
- The Adventurous Couple’s Guide to Sex Toys walks you through the basics of toys, bringing them up to partners and a bit of anatomy to
- Of course, you can skip any chapter and go right where you need to be. Sol while I might bitch about something, I don’t need to read it.
- At just shy of 150 pages and is an easy read, you can finish the full thing in less than 2 hours!
So, if that’s piqued your interest at all, you can buy the book on Amazon.
I *would* like to learn more about sex machines, actually. I’m surprised it’s not more cutting-edge…since this is a second edition, maybe it’s just a cosmetic re-release (new cover only) with no updating?
That was a chapter that was definitely different!
I hope this makes it easier for me to open up and discuss exploring kink with my partner.
Good luck!
My girlfriend got her first toy a couple of weeks ago and she loves it. We’d like to learn more and explore, and this seems like a good way to start!
I’d like to learn more about sex machines and USB toys. I’m by no means shy when it comes to discussing sex, but I just have not come upon the latter ones yet. *Goes off to do research*