Writer Rose Crompton explores how sex shops are no longer a male only domain.
There was a time when you said the phrase “sex shop” and floods of negative connotations would come to mind: tucked away down a dark alley, illuminated by a flickering red light or garish XXX neon sign. Once entering the shop you’d be accosted by shelves upon shelves of hardcore porn DVD’s – many with cover images that could lead to the question of the legality of it – each row filled with seedy looking gents in long coats, fingering the cases carefully as he decides which bit of grot to take home tonight.
This is, of course, total stereotyping and although there are still many scenes like this that ring true in red light districts around the world, it’s also hard not to notice that there is a big shift happening and the face of sex shopping, how we do it and the characters we come across, are radically changing.
Dare we say it, but it appears that sex shops are becoming more female friendly, even specifically targeting women. With the opening of sex stores or raunchy lingerie shops on the high-street, it means that adult stores are being taken out of the dingy back streets and thrust into the bright lights of acceptable consumerism and us women are definitely not turning a blind eye to it. In fact, we relish it, especially with the online explosion where sites like Vibrations Direct, which are tailored to appeal to women and couples specifically, it appears that sex shopping is no longer a male domain.
Men may still have porn, only just thanks to a number of female directors and production companies breaking through, but women definitely have the real pleasure chest at their fingertips. The number of vibrators, dildos, bondage gear and sex clothing that is targeted at women far outweighs what men have at their sexual disposal, if they choose. As the shops move into the light, so do the Sex toys companies as they create ever more desirable and lust-worthy toys. Some of these are even elevated to the status of designer brands and are distinctly aimed at women.
For savvy, sex positive ladies (or those of use that have watched countless episodes of Sex And The City), most of us know the difference between our bullet vibes and rampant rabbits. Where once men used to find shopping for the right lingerie for their partner intimidating a recent survey revealed that 90 percent of British blokes now have that down. The new frontier is now sex shops and knowing how to buy the right vibrator when she asks him to “surprise her” that is presenting a real challenge.
There have been too many times men have contacted Vibrations Direct to ask, “Where do I start? I don’t have a clue what half this stuff does!” and it’s clear that a domain in which men used to feel so comfortable is fast become deep, uncharted waters for them.
So, the tables have clearly turned: once it was that women would find it intimidating to enter a sex shop, let alone buy a vibrator, even with their partner and despite the fact they were otherwise a sexually confident lady. “I was dating a fetish model and even she found it unnerving to go in,” explains frequent sex shopper, Whiskey.
It’s now men that come in holding their girlfriend or wife’s hand and allowing her to take the lead when it comes to provocatively fingering the toy boxes and making the decision on which sex aide to take home that night.
