I have problems with time. I don’t always prioritize it right and I’m horrible at guessing just how much time something will take. I frequently make informal schedules in my mind, a checklist of things to do today and the next thing I know, it’s tomorrow and I didn’t achieve half of those things because I let time get away. What’s even worse is that, instead of stopping and shelving those projects for another day I simply stay up until they’re all completed; this is why I have absolutely no routine whatsoever. I push myself until I’m so dead tired I cannot accomplish anything more then need to sleep half a day away to fix the effects of it.
Needless to say, sex doesn’t fit into my non-schedule. Just the other day I was thinking how difficult it is for us to have sex at all when my husband works. It’s a bit better now because he has new hours. His 12 hour days are only 12 hours as opposed to the 14 he used to work. He can stay up a little later, now, instead of coming home with just enough time to watch some TV while he eats, check his e-mail, shower and head to bed once more. Now I have a bit more time to get in the mood but it still doesn’t happen nearly as often as we’d both like. I think we’re down to maybe once a week when I’d like to have sex more like 3 or 4 times a week. In fact, I will sit down and think about how we’re not having sex..
And then I realize I’m sitting at the computer or reading in bed or he’s playing video games or we’ve somehow managed to waste a couple hours fighting and then I know that, no matter how shitty his schedule is, we’re equally at fault for not planning to have sex. I know I need to, I just don’t. It’s hard for me to up and go into the bedroom. Even if I want to, I just don’t get turned on at the drop of a hat and I know it’s frustrating for him ’cause he does. But planning can sometimes make it even harder to get where I need to be mentally, especially because I like sex to be spontaneous. And planning itself is hard when you have such a complete lack of schedule like I do.
I suppose it comes down to this – would I rather have spontaneous sex infrequently or deal with having to plan sex so I can have it as much as I’d like (or at least try)? I’m not even sure.
I really connected on this post. I feel this a lot, at least with the getting distracted and having scheduling problems. And we don’t even work long shifts, so I feel even more disorganized.
“Even if I want to, I just don’t get turned on at the drop of a hat and I know it’s frustrating for him ’cause he does. But planning can sometimes make it even harder to get where I need to be mentally, especially because I like sex to be spontaneous.”
That is so me. And even when we do plan to have sex, for me it’s usually more like “Well, I’ll plan to try to be horny at that time…we’ll see.” I wish I had something constructive to say.
We took a mid-post-writing cuddle break and I discussed this. It’s like, I want to have sex more but I don’t want to have it right now.
Anyway, constructive or not, thanks for commenting!
We took a mid-post-writing cuddle break and I discussed this. It’s like, I want to have sex more but I don’t want to have it right now.
Anyway, constructive or not, thanks for commenting!
Sorry, forgot to add great post! Can’t wait to see your next post!
I don’t see why you can’t have both. Schedule sex at least once a week, and later in the week, just pounce and fool around. Hopefully if you don’t start out aroused, you will be soon enough!