I enjoy getting massages and I guess I’m okay at giving them but it’s one of those activities that I always wanted to learn more about. Enter the book Ultimate Erotic Massage and, truthfully, this book was a real eye opener for me. Sure, it has the sort of hokey, new-age feel that sometimes annoys me (and others) but I think I had to move away from the mechanics of massage and learn how to intuit the practice to better understand that–and Ultimate Erotic Massage absolutely helped in that pursuit.
Ultimate Erotic Massage is a soft cover book of nearly 200 pages by Kavida Rei. After an introduction to erotic massage and its benefits, it is split into three main sections: sensual massage, intimate massage and erotic extras. There’s also a brief section, in the beginning, that is dedicated to the basics of massage, including supplies, setting the mood, negotiating the scene, connecting with your partner as well as basic techniques. It’s here that Rei introduces the idea of using body parts other than hands–such as hands or your mouth–as part of your massage technique.
A short description of each section:
Sensual message discusses how each sense plays into massage and gives suggestions for helping either sex become sensually aware. The next chapter in this section breaks down sensual massage techniques by area of the body with extra information on stimulating a woman’s breasts and, again, using your mouth to please your partner. This section wraps up with some interesting information about soapy and/or wet massages that are somewhat based on Thai techniques.
Intimate massage delves into genital massage and Rei breaks down techniques for each gender and includes an entire chapter on oral massage. Kavida stresses that we should take the time to enjoy giving and receiving erotic intimate massage on its own–without necessarily leading to orgasm or sex. I particularly enjoyed the inclusion of a chapter about self massage. Rei’s advice helps the reader connect with herself, even when no partner is available.
All of these sections include small blocks of text on large backgrounds of individuals or couples. Like the cover, these images are pretty sensual in nature, if not necessarily explicit, and make this book pretty conspicuous. Most, if not all, of the couplings are heterosexual and while there author never explicitly states so, the book itself has a rather hetero-normative flair and it wouldn’t hurt if it were a bit more inclusive for homosexual or transsexual folks. All the chapters also include a variety of inserts: pictures, lists, activities and technique so it’s varied, easy read. Despite that, it did take me a while to get through this book. I just couldn’t get into it–through no fault of the book
Erotic extras finally segues into orgasm through erotic massage. It is in this section that the author begins to suggest that massage may lead to orgasm and introduces us to arousal, seduction 65yt6and, finally, orgasm. Unfortunately, in the sensual massage portion of this guide, I almost found the tone to suggest that something is wrong with achieving orgasm through these techniques. Obviously, it may not be the point but I’m not entirely sure why it should be entirely avoided, either. It could be just how I read it but I was glad to see the middle chapters discuss the possibility at all.
The final chapters discusses massage as an element of fantasy, roleplay and BDSM before Rei finishes the book with some information about Tantric massage. Like other sex/massage guides, there are a couple pages dedicated to resources and retailers to guide you on your journey to the ultimate erotic massage and a useful index at the very end. Interesting, there is no information about the other. You might be interested to know that her personal website describes her as a “Tantric Goddess.” I usually like to know how someone is qualified to be writing such material.
After finishing this book, I definitely felt as though my arsenal of massage information had bulked up, in addition to having a greater understanding of the art itself. Ultimate Erotic Massage laid it out in a very easy to digest format and, although I read this book cover to cover, you could easily pick a place where you want to focus. I can see myself referring to it in the future and that it something I rarely say about guide books that I have had the pleasure of reading.