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Since I’m trying–and succeeding?–at blogging more actively, I’m also trying to develop and strengthen connections in my network, especially when social media has become such a shit show. My efforts include submitting to Elust (when I remember 🙃).
Elust is the only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice, or kinky discussions, it’ll be at Elust.
So far, I think I’ve only submitted reviews, and I’ll continue to do that as I catch up on past reviews and, hopefully, find a routine for posting regularly. However, you know I’ve got my fair share of opinions and articles, which I hope to (remember to) submit!
Aside from growing my readership, Elust is a great place to see what others are writing and find your next follow, so please do these folks a favor and give them a click and read!
Pleasure Me Now, Virtual Vibrations: Bringing LDR Bliss With Blowjob Machines
Tantric Sexual Healing, Awakening Intimacy: A Tantric Journey to Sacred Sensuality
Fern River Cub, Luc listens in
Lexi Rose, The Message: A Short Erotic Story – Part 1
Modesty Ablaze, “A Naughty Surprise” Part 4 of my Hotwife Diaries Audio Reading
Sydney Screams, The Bivius Alien Dildo by Uberrime
Morgan Destera, TOY TEST – Funzze Black Fantasy Dildo
Liz X, Kiiroo Pearl 3 Vibrator Review: Remote Play & Video Sync Make It Unstoppable
Sex Toy DB, The Top 5 Squirting Dildos in 2024 to Simulate Ejaculation
Of Sex and Love, Heidi
Awakening Your Inner Essence, A Tantric Perspective on Reclaiming Our Inner Worth
Kristina J, Humiliation To Liberation: A Dance Of Desire – 10 Years Of Submission
barefoot sub, Dancing In The Dark
Femina Viva, Managing the “feels” when visiting a companion
Carman Fox, Master Escort Communication
Thornhill Digital, The Future of Labour Rights Within Online Sex Work
Elizabeth, Torture Goddess
Sex Worker Search, Sex Worker Blogs via RSS Feed
Oz Bigdownunder, Oz in Dubai. Australian Halal Sausage is Back on the Menu
The History of BDSM, The People’s Porn: A History of Handmade Pornography in America, by Lisa Z. Sigel
Ramone Quides, When One Door Closes, Meditation Begins
Before I can get on with my review, I need to apologize to Dame. The company sent me this toy years ago, and I completely dropped the ball when it came to writing about it. That was unprofessional of me, and I need to do better.
But even though Pom is no longer new, it’s still worth talking about. That’s because some really thoughtful design decisions went into it. It’s obvious.
This is no white-label toy on Amazon. This is no stolen product design copied cheaply in a Chinese factory to make a quick buck. This vibrator, even though it won’t work perfectly for everyone, stands apart from the rest. It’s the type of product someone should be proud to put their name on–or associate with their face.
And that’s because Dame has quickly become one of the most reputable companies in the sex toy industry. I don’t need to hunt to find information that I can trust. Dame’s website clearly shows the trajectory of the company, which was founded by Alexandra Fine Janet Lieberman, and leveraged crowdfunding to get off the ground.
There’s a lot to like about Dame, just like there’s a lot to like about Pom.
So, let’s get down to it, starting with the strength.
Thanks to its magnetic charging connections. This is pretty common these days, even with cheaper toys, so Pom doesn’t stand out quite as much as, say, Fun Factory’s first magnetically-charging toys. But it’s nice.
It’s not silent, but the lowest setting makes almost a barely-there hum. Would I use it in a dorm with a roommate? Nah. Would I use it behind closed doors, knowing something else was home? Sure!
I know because I forgot about mine for that long.
It’s quite squishy, really, and it’s what put the flexibility in this flexible vibe. The silicone has a lot of give when you squeeze it, and you can bend the tip a bit. Some people may prefer a rigid toy, but plush silicone means I can grind it into my body without and discomfort. Not like I’ve ever done that before…
Many clitoral vibrators are narrower. They’re also usually horizontally and vertically symmetrical. Pom is wider at the base than the tip, which promotes comfort. The base sits perfect in my palm while my middle and index fingers slip around the narrower front.
Typically, I like clit stimulators with a large nub than Pom has, so I wasn’t expecting much. But the vibrator surprised me because it’s not so much the size of the bump but the shape. You see, it forms a vertical ridge that easily slips between your lips to target your clitoris. Mind blown.
And my favorite thing of all..
I mean, it’s no wand, but they’re surprisingly rumbly for such a small package. I was beginning to think that I had been out of the game for so long that I was misremembering clitoral stimulators with deep vibes. The ones I’ve tried recently, even wands, have been disappointing.
But Pom reminded me that depth is possible. And in my opinion? It’s non-negotiable.
These strengths aren’t without limitations, however.
That thick, plush silicone? Mine is now ~customized~ with cat chew marks. It’s exactly the type of material that attracts cats–and their fur. Alas. At least I have a purr-manent moment to remember my late kitty by.
It will also attract your fur. Consider yourself warned.
Pom’s width is accompanied by flatness. It’s closer to, say, Lily than Laya Spot. I wish it were wide and tall.
I’m also not super enthused with their buttons. Dame has placed the power button, which is inset, directly on top of the toy. Hold to turn on. This same button cycles through settings.
There are two more buttons on the bottom of the toy, essentially a plus and minus. The “plus” sticks out from the toy and increases strength. I find it a bit small and sometimes hard to find during use. On the other hand, the “minus” is flush with the dimple where the toys sit. It’s visually a bit confusing but more intuitive in use.
The problem with this “minus” button is that if you press the Pom to your body hard enough, you will turn down the strength. Talk about killing the vibes. (For those paying attention, it means holding the Pom fully against your body means you can’t access the plus button, either).
And I did it multiple times in one session. I still got off, but, man, that’s a bummer. I think it would actually be harder to do with a raised button like the other one because the pressing area seems so wide.
Similarly, I sometimes found myself accidentally pressing the top button while using it. This isn’t exactly Dame’s fault. I have almost also struggled to find a place to apply pressure with my fingers without hitting the buttons or making them inaccessible.
Ultimately, Pom’s flatness led to a lot of strain on my fingers, which are now sore as I type this review. Again, not their fault, but I do think there’s something that could be done.. if toy makers wanted to. Like a wider, more rounded top of the toy. Y’all know I liked the Tuyo.
With that said, I mostly forgive Pom its trespasses against me because the vibrations are so high quality. They just feel.. nice. good, even. Not tickly, not annoying, not frustrating.
And that makes me hopeful for the rest of Dame’s toys.
Heidi, Heidi, Heidi. Where do I start with you?
In the realm of clit vibes, Heidi most reminds me of the BCurious, especially the premium version. I have only used the original Bcurious, which was rigid (and not satisfying), so I can’t compare Heidi to the newer (and since discontinued) premium model, which appears to be made from a softer silicone.
Heidi itself has a thick, softer layer of silicone on it. It’s not nearly as squishy as Dame’s Pom, but it’s nice. There’s give in the tip, and it can bend forward or backward.
The buttons are bubbly and large, easy to find. They audibly click when you press them.
But, you see, as soon as you press that power button, you’ll wish you didn’t.
I wish I hadn’t started with Heidi at all.
Because once it turns on, there’s a quick and loud vibration. It’s jarring. And it’s buzzy and shallow as hell.
And it doesn’t get any better.
I guess I should have known. The (terribly translated) description mentions “High frequency vibration drives.” We. don’t. want. that. in. our. sex. toys.
Honestly, I can’t tell if Heidi’s design is good because the vibrations are so buzzy that I couldn’t possibly enjoy it. Initially, they tickle annoying. It doesn’t take long before I can’t feel them at all. No bueno.
All of this while the toy fills the air with an unacceptably loud roar. I guess it’s not loud enough to hear through a closed door, but it feels like a freaking assault when it’s in your hand.
I had to give up on Heidi. It was almost torture to use it. It offends the senses. No waterproofing, no soft silicone, no pretty mint green, no rechargeable battery, and no poetic metaphors will make it better.
High frequency vibration drives the body to work, impacts the soft inner wall, and the tremor C point attracts the clouds and tides to achieve a unique experience.
The secret comes from the strong frequency vibration. Different experiences also need a strong core to provide continuous motivation. For many girls, not having enough fun is downfall. It takes a lot of effort from the inside to the outside to please women.
After 365 days of experiments, we have finally developed a lovely dolphin with smooth curve. Time we roam together, love let you release at this moment. To a mutual tease, such as glue two people in the world.
Tonight, I just want you, in the twilight, in the halo of glass, in the mountain language and waves, with Heidi to explore and lead us to release our nostalgia for the spring breeze.
I’m sorry, Heidi, but I don’t want you. Not tonight, not ever. Not to roam or stay in one place. And there certainly won’t be any release.
You couldn’t pay me the $54 price tag to use it again.
P.S. – Don’t call us “girls.”
P.P.S. – What the hell is the weird symbol on the side?
Funzze Finger Vibe
$29.99
from Funzze
My first impressions of the Finger Vibe came when I saw the box. It was small. Really small. Surely I hadn’t been looking at something that small, had I? But I was. Apparently, I wasn’t looking that closely.
My second impression was that the dark blue-green of the Finger Vibe in matte silicone is gorgeous. I don’t think I’ve ever owned a toy in this specific shade. There’s also a shiny heart shape that, as far as I can tell, exists only to be pretty and make this toy difficult to photograph lol. Overall, the entire design is pleasing to look at, and I think it is easily one of Funzze’s most attractive toys.
But how does it perform?
The Finger Vibe fits easily between two fingers thanks to the contoured “wings.” Unlike the Mini Marvels line, which had painfully small and rigid finger slots, these are flexible, so they will fit a variety of fingers. They fit well over mine, and I can hold the vibe up without even pinching the center of the wings with my fingers. There’s a potential that the wings won’t offer coverage for someone with really big fingers, but you can still pinch the center to hold it.
The gentle curve naturally fits within your fingers, allowing you to position it wherever you’d like and move it naturally like you’d move your fingers. I think the size probably helps here– less than 3 inches long and only 1.3 inches wide. Ideally, this means placing the bulbous bottom over your clitoris (or other sensitive spot). I really appreciate how far this protrudes because clitoral stimulators that are too flat on the bottom almost universally fail at stimulating the clitoris!
The biggest drawback of the Funzze Finger Vibe might be the small size. While that bulb offers clitoral stimulation and the wings keep it in place between your fingers, the small size requires a small motor. And the vibrations of this toy are rather weak and buzzy, the type that you know will only be less impressive as you increase them. They’re barely there, honestly, especially after using it for a while. The additional vibration patterns offer little because of this. However, if you’re more sensitive to vibrations, you might not mind, but anyone who needs depth and power should look elsewhere.
The size ultimately fails to provide the pressure I need and prefer to get off. If you like to simply hold vibrators against your body, it might work for you–if the weaker, buzzier vibrations aren’t an issue. But a larger toy is better for relieving discomfort on the fingers when you need pressure, as I do. In fact, if this toy was closer to the size of a full hand–something closer to the Playboy Palm, perhaps–it would be far more comfortable to use. As it stands, my fingers became incredibly sore and cramped while trying to achieve the pressure I needed, and there was no payoff to show for it.
You could potentially use it to stimulate a penis by using a healthy dollop of lube, which is necessary for movement because the silicone has a fair bit of drag, and running the toy along the shaft on one side and using your thumb on the other side. Or you could hold it against the base of a penis while you go down on it. Either way, the small size and finger holders that allow you to use your hand naturally could work for this.
The small size might work for people who want to use this during partnered sex. Holding the toy won’t take up much more room than using your fingers alone. Plus, the soft wings will press down under pressure, and I think you could comfortably place this vibrator between your bodies as long as your entire weight isn’t pressing down on your partner’s body. However, I haven’t tried this.
I wouldn’t call it whisper quiet, either. There’s a whistle/whine on all but the lowest setting. Add some white noise or music, and you could get away with using it while someone’s in the other room through a closed door. But there are stronger and quieter clitoral vibrators out there.
One of the biggest cons of this toy is the single button. There’s just not a lot of room for buttons, so I understand the choice not to use more than one. Yet, I cannot forgive the placement choice. Putting it toward the front/nose of the toy doesn’t give you the leverage to press the button while your fingers are under the wings, so I find myself having to remove my fingers and stop using the toy to push the button. This is a great opportunity to place the button on the side where your thumb could press it or to employ some sort of pressure mechanism instead. Pressing the toy harder to your body would increase the vibrations. That would solve the issue of pressure!
When pushing the button, there’s an audible click, which I appreciate. However, the button slightly recesses into the toy when pushed, which could be an issue for those with long nails or large fingers. I think most buttons would be better raised from the toy to make them easier to use for everyone. But this is far from the worst physical button function I’ve ever used. On the other hand, the single button means you need to cycle through the nine modes every time. I’ve found this is the case with all the Funzze toys I’ve tried. If you want to get back to a setting, you need to go through all the vibration settings, and sometimes, turning it off to start from the base setting is faster! Frustrating.
On the opposite end of the toy from the button, are two magnetic contact points for the charger, similar to Fun Factory’s chargers. Thanks to this, it’s completely waterproof. However, I can’t imagine that you’d want to use it in the shower because the water hitting your body would compete with the weaker vibrations. But you can easily clean the Finger Vibe with soap and water without having to protect any ports. Once clean, Funzze includes a silky storage pouch for your Finger Vibe. That pouch can then go in your nightstand, sock drawer, or maybe even in your bedframe or between your mattress and box spring! It would also be a great option for travel because it’s so small and light.
Funzze includes a USB charging cable that requires an adapter or USB port to charge. It’s fairly short, around two feet. I think most of us would want something longer. The light around the button blinks while charging, and although it’s a pretty green, I didn’t even notice it during use.
The last thing included with the vibrator is a single page of instructions, which is fairly easy to miss, lose, or toss. It almost feels like an afterthought. I didn’t even look at it before trying the Finger Vibe and have since misplaced it, so I’m unsure about the time it takes to fully charge the toy or how long the toy will work while fully charged. These are often just guesses that aren’t super close in practice, so I’m not super concerned. This vibrator comes charged, anyway.
Where does this leave us? Unfortunately, with a gorgeous and affordable vibrator that does some things really well but mostly failed to impress me. At $30, it’s not the end of the world if you try it and don’t like it, but I’d rather push people toward more expensive items that perform better.
I’ve already discussed why you shouldn’t buy sex toys from Amazon. I stand by this general advice. Nothing internal. Or ingested.
That doesn’t mean you can’t outfit your nightstand or overnight bag with some things from Amazon (or even buy your nightstand or bag from the site!).
So what, if anything, do I think it’s okay to buy from Amazon?!
Books are rather safe to buy on Amazon, especially if you prefer a digital version. (although you can help small brick-and-mortar stores by using Bookshop, instead). You can turn yourself on, learn how to find your G-spot, or discover your dominant persona with the help of these books. Amazon can also occasionally be helpful for finding out-of-print books because vendors can sell used copies.
From sex dice to board games, Amazon has you covered. I think these games can be a good way to spice up or explore your sex life if you haven’t explored much.
Amazon sells all sorts of bags, boxes, and containers designed to hold your toys when not in use. For example, you can buy a Sugar Sak (or Blush’s version), which uses an antibacterial coating to keep you germ-free. Plus, toy storage is often lockable to keep your dildos and sexcessories away from prying eyes.
There are plenty of storage solutions that aren’t intended to be used with sex toys that you can coopt for that purpose, too. Epiphora makes a compelling argument about how drawer carts are one of the best ways to store your toys. You can also use shoe organizers, toolboxes, pouches, and makeup bags to store your favorite vibrator. If your bed is high enough, under-the-bed storage is a great option, too.
You can probably get by with the BDSM gear Amazon sells if you’re not doing suspension or immobilization. Most of the products that come up with a general search are brandless products from random random-letter-named vendors. This means they may not be the highest quality or match the product images. Pipedream and Calexotics both make bondage goodies that work well enough, and you can find plenty of them on Amazon’s marketplace, even if some of them are sold by “Ask Grandpa Gourmet Coffee brands.”
Amazon has restraints, blindfolds (even if they call them “sleep masks”), harnesses, bondage tape, impact play toys, cock cages, and nipple clamps, to name just a few. But if you want high-quality gear, you’re better off looking at sites like Stockroom or even Etsy.
Amazon has a whole section devoted to lingerie, and that includes items by reputable brands such as Dreamgirl and Seven Til Midnight. There are plenty of no-name brands, but the risks of even low-quality lingerie are minimal. At worst, lingerie may not look anything like the pictures, might be made from cheap materials, may be poorly made, or could look bad on you.
My Liberator Throw has come in handy for years. However, Amazon sells tons of waterproof blankets that are more affordable alternatives to the Liberator Throw.
I feel pretty comfortable buying some external items from Amazon.
The Amazon Basics brand also makes decent rechargeable batteries. I’ve personally used them for years.
Amazon could also be a great place to get a first aid kid, paramedic sheers (including some for lefties like me), antibiotic spray, or ointment for your kinky and sexy times.
Basically, if it won’t go in you, it may be safe to buy on Amazon.
But..
Because the quality of things on Amazon may not be the best, you should carefully check toys for sharp, rough, or exposed edges. Leather, wood, plastic, and metal come to find with these imperfections, but I’ve even heard of silicone vibrators having seams so sharp they were unusable. This is especially important with impact play toys because imperfections can cause serious injury when hitting someone with an object.
Obviously, any exposed wires are a no-go. Even if they don’t shock you or burn down your house, they could become corroded.
If anything appears to be used, especially if you notice anything that could be a bodily fluid, toss it and request a refund.
Keep in mind that Amazon now sometimes ships things without any product packaging or even a shipping box if you don’t want anyone to see (or touch!) what you’re buying.
And if your order comes broken, doesn’t look like the description, performs worse than the reviews suggest, or quickly breaks, well, that’s Amazon for you!
It’s been a while since I’ve done something like this, hey! Maybe you’ve forgotten all about roundups like Elust, which is known as the only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. It’s a great way to find your next erotic read or writer to follow.
Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice, or kinky discussions, it’ll be in one convenient location here at Elust.
Plus, you can throw your hat into the ring to spread word about your work. Want to be included in the next Elust? Send in a post anytime for inclusion in the next edition.
Please subscribe to email updates to receive two emails per month from Elust. A reminder once a month on the 1st to send in submissions and a copy of the latest edition of Elust on the 15th of every month.
Gen West – When 3 Isn’t a Crowd
Oz in London – Sipping the Princess of Pop’s Prosecco, A Duo with Isabella Love
Lexi Rose – She Wants to Slurp – Food to Make Your Cum Taste Better
Maitresse Nuit – The Art of Balancing Desires
London Best Massage – LAM London Alternative Market
Kristina J. – Living in the Shadows: The Unseen World of a Sex Worker
UK Fetish – The Alchemy of Role Play and BDSM
Sex Worker Search – Privacy Policies of Sex Worker Directories
Lady in Latex – BDSM Dungeon Hourly Rentals in London
Jerusalem Mortimer – In the Realm of the Sensei – Prologue 2
Morgan Destera – TOY TEST – Funzze Jeweled Vibrating Butt Plug
Liz X Likes – Funzze Glass Dildos Seductive Rotary Surprise
Of Sex and Love- Why Do I Keep Breaking Vibrators? (a review of the Febos Wand)
Sapora Knight – Boundaries: Elevate Your Intimate Connections to New Heights
Barefoot Sub – Today Is Not A Typical Day
Tantric Sexual Healing – Sexuality as a Path to Meditation: A Tantric Perspective
O Miss Pearl – Scenes From a Femdom Marriage
Witch of the Wands – Date Ideas to Reignite the Spark in Your Relationship
Schey Place Books – Erotic-Romance Book of the Year
Future of Sex – Long Live the New Flesh: The Cronenbergs’ Take on Tomorrow’s Sexuality
History of BDSM – Tokyo Decadence (1992): The Celluloid Dungeon
Beyond Nonbinary – The AI Dominatrix Training Academy and Why We Will All Be Slaves
When I first wrote this post (back in 2010!), there was a bit of conversation on Twitter about searches that led to bloggers’ sites. I only had a handful, and most of them were pretty straightforward:
Sex toy case is pretty popular overall; it was the most popular search term last month. Probably because I reviewed this locking sex toy case and also this toy box by Devine.
I’m not sure if people are interested in the make me cum clit sensitizer or if they’re demanding that Google sends them to porn that guarantees an orgasm. But I can sum up the product pretty quickly: don’t buy it. 😉 A lot of folks seem to think I know how to make the clitoris more sensitive (some products work, but I wish I could do that, too!)
On the other hand, some searchers were clearly interested in the Passion Wave and Rock Chick. There’s also more than one search for tentacle sex toys and tentacle sex stories – probably because of a review I did for Five Minute Erotica. The Icicles #52 and Octopussy dildo also fill this, er, niche.
As of August 2024, however, things have changed a bit. For example, red white and blue dildo is one of my top searches. I’m not sure if people are feeling particularly patriotic, perhaps in anticipation (hope y’all enjoy my alliteration!) of Labor Day. Or maybe they want something to remind them of the simpler times of eating popsicles as a child. Either way, they wound up at this post about my favorite red, white, and blue sex toys. Alas, none of them are all three. In fact, the only red, white and blue dildo I can think of has been discontinued, so if you have suggestions, leave a comment!
I can help with those who are searching for VixSkin dildos, however. I’ve tried Spur and Tex, both of which were very nice (I hate that I read that in Borat voice). I think Slim will be lovely in some specific situations, but it wasn’t my ideal dildo.
Let’s continue, shall we? Someone is still searching for the long-discontinued Sqweel for some ungodly reason. Thankfully, the company no longer makes it so people don’t have to submit themselves to the same disappointment and discomfort I experienced. If you’re looking for a moving clitoral stimulator, I am a fan of Lelo’s Ora series.
As we wrap up, the people searching for tit clamps got plenty of information from my nipple clamp comparison post.
Others have looked for Lovehoney lingerie, and I’ve got some older reviews, but I was mostly less-than-enthused by them.
The final term I’m going to mention is mystery vibe, which may refer to the company that makes the Crescendo.
I think it’s interesting that none of these search terms is clearly looking for a review or information. I assume most of them intend to go specifically to a product page to make a purchase, yet my site comes up instead. That’s especially true for someone looking for silicone lube at Walmart (I recommend Uber Lube, though; just make sure it’s compatible with your sex toys). It seems that, even with the addition of AI, there’s still plenty of room for Google to improve.
Of course, no matter how you got here, I’m glad you are!
