Sensual Cocoa & Goji Berry Cleansing Bath and Shower Gel

August 31st, 2010

Thus far, I have really been satisfied by all the Intimate Organics products I’ve tried. The clitoral gel was intense, the G-spot gel made me squirt, the water-based lube is decent if not smelly and the shower gel is pretty much amazing.

Sensual Cocoa & Goji Berry Cleansing Bath and Shower Gel comes in a 240ml bottle with a press top cap. The label features the typical woman’s abdomen in blue hues and the clear bottle shows the gel which has a porangy (pink + orange) hue.

This cocoa and goji berry scent smells a lot like chocolate covered cherries with a hint of mocha, to me. Thankfully, the coffee undertones are not strong as I am not a huge coffee fan. This shower gel creates a giant fluffy lather on my shower poof. It’s.. totally fun. It feels silky on my skin and leaves it smooth immediately after. The combination of scent and lather and silkiness make for a great shower experience. I’d say that calling this product “sensual” is right on the money.

And while my skin stays pretty soft during the day, the scent doesn’t stay with me, sadly. I like shower gels that do that but Sensual Cocoa & Goji Berry Cleansing Bath and Shower Gel just doesn’t. Still, it’s enjoyable in the shower. It’d be great for partner play or a long bubble bath. In fact, you could combine it with Intimate Organics’ bubble bath of the same scent and top the whole thing off with the body souffle. I’m pretty sure you’d smell quite chocolate and fruity, then.

While not the perfect product, Sensual Cocoa & Goji Berry Cleansing Bath and Shower Gel makes my shower time enjoyable and I bet it will last forever.

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Categories: Other Sex Toys, Reviews
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All About the WordPress Database

August 27th, 2010

A lot of my fellow bloggers and reviewers are using WordPress. Whether they started with it or have made the move from another (potentially inferior..) blogging tool, does not matter. What does matter is that many of these bloggers do not have a strong grasp of WordPress or how it works. It’s relatively easy to set up, out of the box, if you are not a demanding customer. However, what happens if you wish to move hosts, change your domain name or something goes wrong with your blog?

What is a database?

For a lot of people, this means turning to their hosts. That’s an okay solution. It usually works but it involves a middle man unnecessarily. If you have access to your databases, you can back up, move or restore your WordPress database without help from your webhost or anyone else.

Of course, if you don’t understand the concept of a database, you’re much less likely to try this (or, perhaps, to succeed). A database is a means of storing data in tabular format. When you, your host or a script installs WordPress, it edits the config file to instruct WordPress where to stores its information. Installation scripts such as Fantastic tend to create a new database and user, frequently with “WordPress” in the database and user names. However, if you are installing WordPress yourself, you can include multiple installations in the same database. I currently have 4 installations in a single database.

For the sake of this article, I will use the term “WordPress database” to simply refer to the actually data inside the database associated with your WordPress installation. Thus when I say you can backup or restore your database, I am saying you can backup or save all the pertinent data within the database.

And what sort of information is stored in your database? Posts, post meta (tags, categories), user information (names, levels), plugin information, widget contents, settings, comments, links and more. If I could somehow turn off my WordPress database for this blog, you would pretty much only see the header and background images.

Backing Up the Database

The WordPress Codex (which, I admit, I found ridiculously confusing at first) explains how to back up your WordPress database. By following this tutorial, you can save the contents of your database to your computer to upload at a later date, should the need arise. However, the article glances over how to access your database or PHP admin. Assuming you own your domain and have access to a control panel such as cPanel, H-sphere or a custom control panel (such as the one GoDaddy uses), you will first need to log into that control panel.

In my control panel, there is a link to phpMyAdmin on the index. I can click that, choose the account with access to my WordPress database and click the link. My control panel automatically logs me in. I can reach the same page in a slightly more complicated way by clicking “MySQL Server,” choosing my database, clicking the link to launch the admin panel and manually logging in. I frequently confuse my usernames and passwords so the first option is much easier. You likely have one or both of these options available to you. Then you may proceed with backing up the database.

The Codex tutorial explains that you will need to export the various tables in your database by checking the box next to the table. Typical installations use a prefix of “wp_.” Thus, you’ll see tables such as “wp_categories” or “wp_options.” If you do have multiple blogs or scripts installed to the same database, you will want to back up only the tables that belong to your blog. For example, of Sex and Love has a prefix of “wp_osal” to differentiate it from my other blog and script tables so I check only those tables to export.

This is the long and manual way. It gets the job done but so does the WordPress Database Backup plugin. It may even come with WordPress by default, now. I’m not sure because I use it on every single blog I own and for good reason! This plugin allows me to create an instant back up of my WordPress database directly from the WordPress dashboard.

Furthermore, I can use it to schedule back ups and I do. I schedule a weekly back up which the script e-mails to me. At my current posting rate, I would lose 2 posts at most if I only relied on this method. If you post more frequently, consider a daily back up.

WP DB Backup also allows the option to save your data to your webhost’s server and you should remember to check all the database tables that you want to save because the plugin only backs up the core tables by default. Tables created by other plugins are not included in this. I would lose information for my related posts and feed plugins if I did not check their tables. Note that you will see the list of all tables on the plugin management page. Thus, I see several closely named tables because I have multiple blogs in the same database. Pay attention when marking your tables for back up.

Restoring a Database

Once you have a copy of your database, you can do several things with it. You can restore your blog. This may be handy if your server crashes or someone hacks it. The Codex gives instructions on how to restore using PHPMyAdmin. But you probably want to drop all your extsing tables first to prevent errors.

You can use this same method to move to an entirely new host. Log into PHPMyAdmin or a similar tool in your new control panel. Create a new database and user, if one does not exist. For example, I have the option to add a database after clicking the “MySQL Server” link on the index. I can then choose to give access to a new or existing user. Import your WordPress database. When moving hosts or databases, you will want to perform this step before installing the actual script. Furthermore, you will want to install the script manually. This allows you to edit config.php to specify the new database and username. When you install WordPress, it will bring up your existing information.

You could also use this method if you wanted to switch domain names but remain on the same host. However, you could leave your existing database as-is and manually install WordPress on the new domain (after you add it to your hosting account) and enter the existing database credentials into your new config.php. Note that if you switch domain names, you will want to change the settings in your WordPress dashboard to reflect the new domain. Also note that you can work on your database or edit your WordPress installation even before a domain propagates. Simply use the dedicated IP, temporary URL or instant access domain name.

Blog Files

After extolling the virtues of the database, you may be curious how much necessary information is stored in the actual files that you can see via FTP or file manager. In the best case scenario, these files contain no necessary data for your blog. That’s right. None.

This scenario assumes you are capable of editing some files upon re-installation. If you know your database information, you don’t need to save config.php but it may be helpful. It’s easy enough to edit index.php if you place your WordPress installation files into a separate directly, which I suggest you do (http://domain.com/wp, for example).

The rule of thumb I would use for every other file is, if you edit it, save it.

Although widgets allow you to really customize your theme, many of us edit the actual code. Without my theme edits, you wouldn’t see my custom header, both sidebars, review images or ads. There are a million tiny other edits that only I would notice. If I were moving, I would save my entire theme folder inside the wp-content/themes directory.

Plug ins also have a folder of their own, within the wp-content folder. If the plug ins are currently and available as the repository, you really don’t need to back them up. If you have edited the plug ins or their folder contain data files, you can save them.

You may occasionally find important files within the wp-content folder itself. I have several files there that a plug in references to display my advertisements. The files that I would most likely forget to save are the images I have uploaded through the WordPress media tool. They exist in dated subfolders in the wp-content/uploads directory.

Of course if you have upload any other files to other locations, you will want to save them before moving hosts or domains. In the most complicated scenario, you will save the config.php, index.php, theme folder(s), plugin folder(s), uploads and user-created files.Uploading these and importing your WordPress database will recreate your blog as it was.

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Romantic Gifts

Pinwheel

August 25th, 2010

Pinwheel
Pinwheel
$15.00 from Good Vibes

The Wartenberg Wheel was originated a medical instrument used to test sensitivity. It has since been adopted by kinksters who enjoy all sorts of stimulation and many non-kinky sex toy retailers have started to sell it as well, including Good Vibes. They bill is as the pinwheel, which I will use from here on out simply because I am a lazy typer.

So I asked for the pinwheel and it showed up shortly thereafter. Immediately, I was surprised by how sharp the pins are. I guess I expected them to be a bit duller and others have said the same. However, I am wondering if different brands of pinwheel may actually be more dull. I only have one so I cannot say. Nevertheless, I do know that some brands come with a storage pouch/sheath and the one that Good Vibes says it does but mine did not. This is a shame because it’s sharp enough that I’d want to wrap it up to avoid damaging anything else or, Heaven forbid, stepping on it!

Let me back up a bit to describe this. The pin wheel is a long, metal handle with a slightly angled head that holds a wheel consists of 20 or so metal protrusions, or pins. There is a flathead screw that pierces through the layers of the handle and the wheel itself to allow it to spin. The space around the wheel is enough to allow it to move slightly to the left and right, so there is a bit of wobble to the movement and this causes it to make a metallic sound as well. The pins actually flatten toward the end, so they’re not exactly conical.

I am partnerless so I tried this one on for size by myself. I quickly discovered that a super light roll across my upper back tickled in the way that I love. It sent shivers down my spine and created goosebumps that made the touch of the pins painful in a not-so-bad sort of way. It also worked to sensitize my lips (the northern ones). The same light tough was pleasurable along my thighs and outter arms.

Yet, I didn’t really enjoy it on my breasts at all, as I said, the pins are much sharper than I expected. So I have barely tried to apply any pressure at all. I’m just a pussy at this point. However, I can tell that the type of sensation a firmer touch would provider would be more enjoyable with a partner. My head’s not really in the right space to enjoy the Pinwheel in its entirety.

That doesn’t keep my mind from racing to determine other ways to use this. Over clothes or fabric? Sure. Heated or cooled? A little side to side scratching? If you so desire. If you hold the wheel still, you can use it to poke. And even the typical roll can vary from a steady path that never leaves the skin or quick strokes that pull away from it.

Traditional Wartenberg wheels were stainless steel but there’s an area on mine where the finish has been scratched off and I can see something coppery or brassy beneath it. This is around the head of the toy. I filed off a speck on the handle and it seems to be the same metal all the way through. I have no idea what’s going on with that. And it doesn’t affect the functionality in the least, it’s just.. weird.

So, my final thoughts are this is pretty neat. I don’t know what’s up with the sheath and coating but I do know you should be careful when dropping it. Don’t catch it and cut yourself.

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Categories: BDSM, Reviews
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Pleasurists #92

August 25th, 2010


Abandoned Nude 4 by tiago13pereira

Welcome to Pleasurists, a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days. For updates and information follow our RSS Feed and Twitter.

Did you miss Pleasurists #91? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #93? Be sure to read our submission guidelines and then use our submission form and submit it before Sunday August 29th at 11:59pm PDT.

Want to win some swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

Editor’s Pick

  • Jackin’ Good Time by Sex Pistil

    • Trust me guys, once you go Jack Jelly, you will never want to go back. Its a non-oily, self warming lubricant, which feels like your very own precum. There are so many pros I don’t know where to start.

Editor
Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

Looking for sexy posts other than reviews?
e[lust] #18

On to the reviews…

Vibrators

Dildos

Anal Toys

Toys for Cocks

Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.

BDSM/Fetish

Adult Books/Games

Adult DVDs & Porn

Storage

Miscellaneous

Pleasurists adult product review round-up

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Babeland

I’m PMSing

August 19th, 2010

This is exciting news. Except for everything that goes with the upcoming menstrual flow. But, you see, I’ve never been in a place where I was happy enough to even recognize PMS so being able to do so is kind of awesome in its own way. Plus, even though I’m not there yet, recognizing the emotional and mental symptoms gives me hope that I may be getting to know my boy a bit better. I really like the idea that my body may not always be a stranger whose boobs I love but whose signals are never loud enough to understand. Who ever thought I’d be happy about PMS?!

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Categories: Everything Else
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Jenna’s Hot Trimmer Chronicles

August 17th, 2010

It’s not usual that I want to write about a product for review immediately but I couldn’t help myself when it comes to Jenna’s Hot Trimmer.

You see, I’d been growing out the pubes for a while. I had hit full bush mode a while back. When I was still having sex with my husband, he liked it. Having hair was pretty novel. I didn’t mind it but it was getting to the unruly point and, since my last trimmer died, I asked to review this one from Fascinations. Plus, it comes with shapes. I’ve never designed my pubes before. It would be fun, right?

When the package arrived, I noted that the trimmer was in a plain cardboard box, not even a plastic blister pack. It reeked of “made in China” or some similar place. The fact that the include battery contained Asian-styled characters and was not designed like an American battery only went with this. I checked out the two heads and found them easy enough to swap. I noted that there was a clear, plastic cap to go over the small cap but nothing for the larger one. Odd. Also strange was the fact that the shapes had not way to attach to you. I puzzled out how I’d even be able to use them. I put in the battery only to have nothing happened so I replaced it with a reliable Duracell and test a tiny lock of arm hair. I tucked everything into the pleather pouch which is a god awful pink with “Hot Trimmer” printed on it in a god awful purple font.

Day 1

I hopped in the shower and decided to try the trimmer after. Initially, I hadn’t dried off and it didn’t work well. I toweled down the pubes and went back to work. Soon, I had a pile of curly locks forming at my feet, in the tub. Soon, I also had blood dripping down my mons. I hadn’t even noticed that I’d cut myself because the whole experience is rather irritating and uncomfortable. The teeth on both heads are quite large, not fine at all. The cut is not surprising. I applied some pressure to stop the bleeding and carefully went back to work.

I spent about 5 minutes trimming away, with the “foot” of the trimmer gliding along my skin. Actually, gliding is a lie. It tugged. It pulled. It hurts on occasion. Jenna’s Hot Trimmer did nothing to give me a uniform trim. It looked–and felt–sloppy.

I had mostly trimmed the flattest part of my mons (one area in particular was resistant to the trimming for some reason) and decided to try the shapes. I grabbed the heart but if you’re a unique person, you can go for the chili pepper or tear drop (???), instead. I swapped out the heads, held the clear plastic cut out in place and began trimming around. I pulled the shape away to notice.. Nothing. It did, nothing. Maybe if I had used some effective trimmer to cut everything down to a nice 1/4″ or 1/2,” I could have added the detail.

Still, I wanted to salvage the experience so I decided to try my hand at making shapes with my regular razor. I added a dab of shaving gel, not wanting to add to the irritation.. but the shape was soon slip sliding around everywhere and my razor head was too big to get the details, anyway. I wound up going over the area I’d trimmed with the razor to get a nice shave on the upper portion of my pubes.

I was already mentally exhausted so decided to finish up the trimming of my labia for another time. I did notice that the trimmer was clogged with hair and skin cells, however; so I set about cleaning it. I was surprised to see that a plastic piece pops off the large head. This allows access to remove hair and what not but you have to make sure to replace the head to the shaft connects with the piece in the neck. Otherwise, it won’t work. I do wish that the trimmer came with a cleaning brush or something. There’s a lot of little crevices that are hard to reach inside the head.

Day 2

I went back to finish up the job I’d started a few days later. I found the trimmer to be practically useless along my labia. I just couldn’t get an angle that would allow me to cut all the hair. I’d wind up having to pull the hair away from my skin to clip it and there were certain areas that the trimmer just kept missing. I resulted to cutting a few, larger locks off with a small scissors but not before I cut myself with the trimmer, again. I felt it this time.

I spent much less time with the trimmer second time around. I just didn’t have the patience. I feel like I’ve spent enough time with it so make some observations:

Jenna’s Hot Trimmer is cheaply made and produces a sloppy finish, despite having multiple heads. If you want a waterproof and versatile trimmer that is easy to clean, won’t cut you and has an adjustable head, go for the Trimstyle by Quattro. It doubles as a traditional razor, too.

The heads on Jenna’s Hot Trimmer are shaped strangely. You can’t get a close trim and the shape makes it difficult to cut hair in all areas, especially around curves or crevices. If you want something a little more versatile but don’t have high demands, try one of the Finishing Touch/Bikini Touch trimmers. Some of them come with cutting guides as well as a built in lights and a brush to clean up.

This trimmer does not make quick work of a full bush. A small pair of scissors does a much better job of a quick quick clean up, if you’re pressed for time and only need to clean up a bit.

A pair of scissors, Finishing Touch or Trimstyle are all cheaper than Jenna’s Hot Trimmer. However, if you’re looking for a tool that will be efficient, versatile and effective without being dangerous, you should probably just invest in a pricier electric razor. I’ve never had one that worked well so I cannot personally give a recommendation but I’d recommend almost anything over this.

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Categories: Other Sex Toys, Reviews
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Romantic Gifts

Throbbing hearts waterproof Vibrator

August 12th, 2010

I like throbbing things, especially throbbing body parts. Like a cock as it ejaculates inside of you or the spasms of my PC muscles during orgasm. Throbbing is neat. It’s one of the few sensations that companies haven’t mastered yet. Throbbing toys have not saturated the market so this vibrator really caught my eye.

Out of the box, the Throbbing hearts waterproof Vibrator is really interesting. I noticed that the TPE seemed to be quite loose around the shaft mechanism. I mean, it’s not flopping around but you can pinch some of the material away from the shaft, like looser skin. The movement kind of gives the feel of softness–when not in use.

The Throbbing hearts waterproof Vibrator has a straight, smooth shaft. The mechanism beneath the TPE give the impression of ripples, however. The head of the toy is realistically shaped like the head of a cock. Oddly enough, the clitoral stimulator also has a penis head shape which is kind of creepy. It’s like the whole clitoral simulator is some sort of stunted penis. And then there’s two embossed heart designs toward the base o the toy and on the back of the clit stim. I have no idea what the theme is here but Doc Johnson missed the mark.

Still, I wanted this for for its sensations, not the look. It’s not the tiniest toy, though. with a base diameter of 1.59″, it’s on the medium-large scale. You can use water or silicone based lube with this toy. The design results in a maximum insertable length of 5.5″ which is pretty effective for the average size of vaginas. The clitoral stimulator is also quite long, extending almost 3″ from the shaft.

There are two buttons for each function (throbbing and clit vibration). The design deviates from standard and isn’t visually appealing. Essentially, throbbing function has a + and – button that also serve to turn the function on and off, respectively. These buttons are square and are labeled as “On” and “Off” which is confusing to me. The vibration function has a master On/Off button and a separate button to control the speed/mode. These buttons are round and oval, respectively. I don’t know why both functions don’t have comparable +/- buttond or a power and mode button–or a different setup altogether to provide a master “Off” button for the entire toy. I don’t know why there are different shapes. It’s very anti-intuitive, in my opinion.

So I insert the toy and turn it on. First, I try the throbbing because this is really the appeal and, boy, is it weird. The throbbing is actually expanding and contracting. The TPE that I noticed was loose is loose because the toy expands outward. It does this in a very quick succession, even on the lowest speed and, when the toy isn’t inserted, it makes a noise similar to skin slapping skin during sex. On the toy, it’s almost disgusting. Sound aside, I just did not find the sensation wasn’t much like throbbing itself. Throbbing typically has vertical movement, too. It feels deep, rumbly. This toy does not. It just feels like something is growing larger and smaller and all the speeds are too close together for there to be much build up. This is not a sensation that stimulates my G-spot at all. And because rabbits are not intended to be thrusted (usually), this isn’t very versatile. Additonally, I find that the shaft mechanism feels really hard and solid. I prefer my insertables to be either hard or large–not both.

Externally, I was not impressed. The clit stimulator, while plenty long enough, offers little pressure. The vibrations are incredibly buzzy. I can barely tell the difference between the medium and high steady vibrations. The pulsation lacks any sort of oomph. The functions, when combined, really seem to work against one another. They don’t complement each other at all. I’m not surprised that I was unimpressed by the vibrations, however. This uses AAAs.

The toy takes 4AAAs altogether. The fit into a battery compartment that has an easy load style pack and the cap screws on over an O-ring, thus making this waterproof. Honestly, I’d think that the sensation of water fallin on you, in the shower, would compete with the sensations that this toy provides and I don’t advise it.

I am more than a bit disappointed with this toy. I really like the idea of a throbbing toy but I think it needs to feel different than the violent, in-and-out slapping of the mechanism of this toy. Plus, I’m curious how easy it might be to break this. I’m almost intrigued enough by the function to cut off the TPE and see what’s going on beneath it. Almost.

Still, I commend Doc Johnson for thinking outside the box and creating something a little different.

Find vibrators like this at one of the biggest selections of sex toys online at SexToy.com

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Categories: Reviews, Vibrators
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Public Service Announcement: Banner Sizes

August 7th, 2010

Today’s public service announcement is brought to you by Of Sex and Love and sponsored by the letter “Y” as in “You’re doing it wrong.”

For starters. Affiliate program managers, sit down. Let’s have a talk. Affiliate programs are great. I help you make money, I make money. Simple concept. In fact, it’s one that I personally love. You know what I don’t love? When I log into an affiliate account to get some banners and none of the banners are standard size.

Maybe you’re not familiar with the fact that there are, indeed, standard sizes. (I say, maybe you ought to step down from your position as an affiliate program manager). Now, I recognize that standards do vary but even if you stick to the oldest possible list of standard banner sizes–like the ones on this page–you’re not going to go wrong. I personally am a fan of 468×60 and the skyscrapers. I recognize that a lot of smaller banners have become popular, too. In fact, I use a couple 120×60 buttons as you can see exemplified on this page. Now, if you’re feeling extremely varied at the moment, you could even use some of the unique-yet-still-mostly-standard sizes from this page.

Isn’t it amazing how many standard sizes there are? Isn’t it awesome that these standards exist so that the highest number of people/websites can use your banners? Isn’t it ridiculous if you cannot, somehow, manage to use any of those standard sizes?

I mean, my site uses no less than 4 standard banner sizes. And if I cannot find a single banner on your site that fits in one of my allotted banner spaces, I’m not going to bother.

Let me reiterate: I’d rather lose potential money and risk our working relationship that put up banners of mismatched sizes.

Pretty strong argument, I know. That’s how I roll. I recognize that I am in the minority. A lot of my peers will use banners of any old size. It makes me sad. They shouldn’t have to. You should do your job.

Making the internet look like shit–you’re doing it right.

I mean, maximizing your publicity and revenue–you’re doing it wrong.

But you’re not the only one doing it wrong. It has recently come to my attention that it is summer in some parts of the world. I got the memo one day when I walked outside and died. Since then, I have done my best to stay in side and whisper sweet nothings to my air conditioner, you know, so it doesn’t get angry and walk out on me. This is all just a long-winded way to say summer is hot!

I learned this last summer, also, when I requested to view a massage candle and it arrived as massage soup. Awesome! I contacted the review program personnel and didn’t have to review it; the store actually said they would be taking that product off the market during the summer months. A smart decision, thought I. But it’s summer again and people are getting all sorts of melty surprised in the mail and that’s kind of lame. I’m not sure that any location is really much better when it comes to heat and melting products. After all, it gets pretty hot in those delivery trucks. I mean, I got my pinwheel the other day and damned near burned myself on it.

This “You’re doing it wrong” award goes to everyone: consumers, retailers and manufacturers. As consumers, we should be smarter about this sort of thing. Retailers (including review program personnel) should, as well. I don’t expect anyone to remove all their melty stock for half the year but maybe you could just toss up a warning on the site that the stuff doesn’t travel well? And manufacturers. Oh, manufacturers. You could probably save us all the hassle if you just securely sealed your melty products. In fact, some manufacturers do!

When I got my JimmyJane Afterglow candle, it was sealed. Although it had been packaged on its side and had melted off to the side, it stayed in the container. Sure, I had to dig out the wick to burn it but I didn’t lose half the product. But if you’re tossing an open candle holder into a shipping container or pressing wax into a cardboard box and shipping it across the country, you’re asking for trouble. Come to think of it, you’re probably losing money, too.

Forethought–we’re all doing it wrong.

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Categories: Everything Else
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Stockroom

Symphony Massager

August 6th, 2010

This month’s (okay, last month’s, I guess) Sexpert toy from California Exotics is the Symphony Massager. It’s true to its name (massager) and discretely looks nothing like a sex toy at all. In fact, as I sit hear gazing at it, I find it difficult to describe the type of toy it is. There’s a nod so some high end toys, like the Form 6 or even one of the Lelo toys, except the Symphony Massager isn’t dual ended and I have no desire whatsoever to insert it.

A few of the basics. This is a plastic toy. It has a velvety finish. It comes in lavender (what I have) and white. It measures 8″ form tip to tip and you can insert a little under 4.5.” The widget varies: the ends are wider than the center with the handle end being wider than the insertable end which is ovular (not a perfect circle) and has a circumference of 4.75.” The thinnest part of the insertable portion has a circumference of 3.25.”

The vibrations are focused at the insertable. Oddly enough there is a little dimple on the top of this end. I guess it could be used for clitoral stimulation but I think it’s kind of useless because then the angle of the toy would make it curve away from your body. I prefer toys that mimic the curve of my pubic bone, I guess. The angle on this toy is really unique and quite high. If I set the toy on a flat surface, so it rests on either tip, I can slip 4 fingers into the open area created by the angle (under the toy). That really has no significance but I tihnk it’s fun and such.

The Symphony Massager uses a single push button to operate. It sits inside another dimple, toward the center of the toy but on the handle end. It’s surrounded by silver and it sticks up a lot. I say this because I like buttons that are easy to find and this one is! My nails don’t get in the way. It’s not right next to another, equally tiny button. I like it a lot.

When you press this button you will cycle through several settings: low steady vibration, high steady vibration, short-short-long pulsation, short pulsation and a weird back and forth sort of pulse that I am failing to describe well. If you’re paying attention, then you’ll notice that there is no “medium” setting. I constantly skip to the first pulsation setting because I want something stronger. It’s a force of habit that is hard to break and California Exotics might due better to just stick to what has worked thus far.

Because the Symphony Massager runs on 2AAAs the vibrations are buzzy and the pulsation lacks “oomph.” This is the kind of toy that mostly makes me tingle a little but then I reach for something stronger, as I did. I cannot recall if I got off from this because it does have a broader surface, which I like externally. If I did, I wasn’t much impressed.

Now, I didn’t bring this anywhere near my internal organs. For one, it just doesn’t seem like an internal toy to me. Secondly, there is a ridiculous seam running through the plastic, all the way around. Needless to say, this isn’t anywhere close to waterproof nor would I ever recommend sharing it without some sort of gamma ray.. stuff. Either plastic piece of this toy seems to be melted together in two locations on the insertable part. I’m not sure if it’s supposed to melt seamlessly the whole way or if it just connects at those points but.. it’s weird. It seems cheap and while many would not be able to feel it in use, it ‘s just not something I want inside me.’

It’s funny that the pieces would be so far apart because the battery pack is tight. I think CEN used all the recall China shrink cream on this because wow, just wow! You have to turn the cap to the correct position to unlock it to pull it off. Be prepared to give a forceful yank and have your batteries fly in your face to fully remove it. Then you might chuckle because the is, indeed, a plastic O-ring in there. The same move in reverse replaces the cap.

My verdict, as you can see, is this is not the toy for me. Were the quality better, it’d be a decent, basic toy–inexpensive, potential versatile, easy to use and varied. Now, it just feels cheap.

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Of Babies and Age

August 3rd, 2010

I’m a member of a forum where a woman just recently posted about her pregnancy. She had decided to become pregnant, got off of birth control and they were successful very shortly afterward. I was excited for her but I also felt something I’d never felt before when someone made one of those announcements:

jealousy.

Now, people who know me well are likely to say “Who are you and what did you do with the real Adriana*?”

Because they know how vehemently I denied wanting children up until a few months ago. Even I couldn’t ever have imagined a time when I would want kids. As a close friend put it

“Because you are/were the last person anyone expected to be jealous of that.”

And it’s true. Yet here I am. Jealous.

If it’s a shock to them, you better believe that it’s a shock to me. I had no idea. It’s like one day a switch just flipped and I caught a glimpse of the type of happiness that a child could bring. I felt it in my soul. Part of it has to do with the maturing I have had to do to face the issues with my relationship. I realized why I was only thinking of myself and now that I don’t have to do that, I am really looking forward to having to think about someone else. Don’t get me wrong, I know that the reality is that parenting is hard but part of me is looking forward to do some hard work for the good of someone or something else.

The thing is, I’m only 24. I know this. And a lot of other people seem to know this because they point it out to me. You’re getting divorced? No problem! You’re young. You have lots of time to meet someone else! You want a baby, don’t have one yet! You need to get a degree, start a career, buy a house or invent a new car first.

And I appreciate the thought. I know it’s meant to make me feel better but I’m kind of impatient so it doesn’t really work. When I think about it, I know I haven’t even lived half my life, if I only live to be 50. I don’t know if it helps but it’s true.

But there’s something else going on there, too. A friend recently reminded me that I have always been “older” than my peers, in my head. I think it’s still true today. I expect people to act differently than they do because I forget, they’re only 24. They are still young. It’s no wonder they’re concerned about sports cars. Or hooking up. Or partying. Or things that just never mattered much to me because I somehow managed to skip the decade in which those things are the only things that matter. I generalize, I know. I apologize if you feel like I’m applying a stereotype to you. I just mean to say that I am the exception, not the rule. Sometimes I forget that. But when I remember it or explain it someone else, we both understand me much more.

What’s more. I kind of like feeling and thinking like this. I don’t see anything wrong with it. I’m glad I’ve avoided some mistakes others have made (although, I’m not glad about my divorce). I’m just impatiently waiting for everyone else to join me. Maybe in 10 years they will. Maybe not.

Until then, I guess I still have plenty of time to work on that baby.

*They probably are using my real name.

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