6 Picture Mistakes Men Make on Tinder

June 25th, 2015

Having spent a little bit of time on Tinder over these last few weeks, I’ve found myself both frustrated and befuddled about some of the photos choices that guys make. And we’re not just talking about fish; although, there are plenty of those pictures to hate, too. No, it seems like guys don’t want me to swipe right — or is it left — when they do these things.

1. All of Their Photos Are Group Photos

Guys do this a lot. It’s great that you’re not addicted to selfies. It’s awesome that you have friends.  And that you fish, hunt, like your car/truck, have climbed mountains, go to parties and have tons of hot female friends. Except none of those things helps me determine who you are when I’ve never met you every picture is of multiple men. Often, those guys all look pretty similar. So give us a single, clear picture of your face or tell us who you are at the very least.

2. Photos Only Depict Animals

I like cats and dogs. I have cats. It’s cool that you do, too. Or something even weirder. But you’e not your pet. This shouldn’t be your main photo on Tinder (but maybe you can add just one). In fact, no one should use their pets — or kids! — as their profile picture on any social network.

3. There Are No Clear Facial Shots

Unless you’re only looking for the hookup so you plan to show off only your body for privacy reasons, then we want to see your face in a recent and flattering photo. With smart phones, it’s really not all that hard.

4. All Photos Show Are At the Gym/Flexing/Pulling Up Your Shirt

A good body is great, okay. But that doesn’t need to be all we see. After all, if you wear well-fitting clothing, your physique will show through just fine. And shouldn’t you make it seem like you’re not trying that hard? Maybe?

5. The Photos Look Like Honeymoon Pictures

Tinder is obviously a hookup app. If you’re with someone and haven’t made it clear that it’s open, you’re shooting yourself in the foot. Plus, I can’t help but wonder if guys use photos with their exes as an ego boost. Like “Look how hot my ex is!” This just rubs me the wrong way, every time. So while that may be a stellar picture of you, it probably shouldn’t be your main picture,

5. There Are Repeated Photos

Tinder’s profile options seem pretty buggy to me. I tried to upload one picture today, and it deleted 2 — including my profile picture. But it doesn’t take long to double check and fix those errors.

6. There Are No Photos At all

For a micro-dating service that provides only two ways for people to learn anything about it, it’s important that you utilize the most important method — photos. I think I speak for most people when we realize you have low self-esteem if you refuse to post photos. Most people might not be attracted to you, but no one will have the chance if you don’t let them at least see you.

And while some people will tell you not to use selfies, that’s a far lesser offense than doing any of these things in my opinion. At least I know what you look like when you do that!

Comment


Between the Shores: Erotica with Consent

June 19th, 2015

Often, in erotica, consent is implied but not necessarily discussed. In poor erotica, like Fifty Shades of Grey, it’s outright abused through force. But once thing that kinksters actually know is that consent is a must. And in Between the Shores, talented authors show us that consent can be sexy, too.

This collection of erotica is therefore a little different than others. Consent may be incidental in some erotic stories, and often is when it comes to those about BDSM, but it takes front and center in this anthology, by Annabeth Leong, T. C. Mill and Alex Freeman, of twenty stories. It’s one of the offerings from The New Smut Project, a collective of people who want to publish erotica featuring “high-quality writing and nuanced, diverse characterization.” And you can’t really argue you with.

In fact, I would say the quality of Between the Shores if among the best of all the erotica I’ve read, and that says something given how many books I’ve reviewed. I am particularly reminded of Red Velvet and Absinthe, one of my favorite collections from a few years ago, which features supernatural sex and romance. I found it surprising how the theme of consent worked so well with supernatural sexuality. This is the case with “Vine” by Melissa Snowdon, which is as creative as it is sultry. In fact, it reminds me just a bit of something you might read by Neil Gaiman.

“Waiting for the Light to Change” is another story with supernatural origins, something like lycanthropy. I always find this theme extremely hot! And T.C. Mill, one of the editors, has also contributed a story in which a vampire-like alien who has made her way to Earth negotiates a way to sate her literal bloodlust with her chosen human lover. This might be my favorite of all the stories as it combines romance, consent, vampirism and kink.

Obviously, the theme of consent lends itself well to stories involving bondage. “Rolling Deep” is just one of several. But consent also allows characters to explore – and push boundaries – and sometimes not to push those boundaries at all. This means at least one of the stories in this book was a bit anti-climactic for me, even though it absolutely meets the requirements of consent.

For example, “How Can I Meet You” is a thoughtful delving into what two women will do to meet the other’s needs while having their own limits. Those limits are certainly interesting but not necessarily erotically inspiring, so I did occasionally find myself skipping ahead to the sexy parts of stories like that.

The last story I’d like to mention is one of the last in the book. In “Undercover Cops: EXPOSED” we get an interesting mix of suspense, cross-dressing, bisexuality (or perhaps just curiosity) and consent within the confines of a police mystery. Skip ahead a few stories and you’ve got a swashbuckling erotic thriller that ends this book on a high note!

It’s hard not to mention nearly every store in this book because the focus in literature and high-quality writing provides the reader with an experience that provokes the mind as much as it does the clit. If this is what we can expect from this company, it’s definitely one to keep an eye on!

Between The Shores offers such a variety of erotica literature. It’s not heteronormative in the lease.  We see entanglements between strangers, established partners and everything in between. There are threesomes, including the sexy negotiation that happens in “The Art of Improvisation,” written by Alex Freeman. There’s even a story that analyzes the ability to consent while being woken up to sex while also touching on consent and mental illness. It’s wonderfully done in a loving way. Props to Lark Green for that!

Even though not every book in this collection was exactly my book of tea, it was a nice departure from standard erotica. If you buy this as a Kindle version right now, you’ll save 50%. It’s under $4. It’s practically free!

Comment


My 12-Hour Tinder “Boyfriend”

June 19th, 2015

I once read an article about a woman who had a boyfriend for a weekend. She met him, he came back to her place in NYC. They had sex, watched TV, played games, went for strolls and dined at the sorts of places that we don’t really have here because we’re not New York City. Then, after the weekend, he finally returned home and they never spoke again.

It was interesting enough that I remembered it. It makes little sense to me that you can enjoy the company of a person that much and not make an effort to keep in touch, even if the chemistry of the weekend was a one-time-only deal.

But as a single, divorced person, I’ve had to come to terms with the fact the dating is, in fact, fucking weird. One of you can feel chemistry where the other doesn’t. You can get along beautiful but still something will prevent one of you from wanting to date the other. The two of you can be great on paper but just don’t have a spark in person, or you could both admittedly like each other but not know how to make the move – and the right time will pass.

It was so difficult for me to understand, when I was younger, how timing really does matter. It seems just bullshit if you believe in the one or true love or what-have-you. If you love a person, you just make it work. It’s just that easy. Except it never is that easy and timing does matter.

Case in point.

I am on Tinder, sort of. It’s the sort of resigned and detached relationship one has with online dating and hooking up when all most of one’s first dates have been terrible, nothing has panned out save for a few friendships — one with the hot nerd — and meeting people in person isn’t actually any less stressful because of one’s anxiety.

So my relationship with Tinder has been, sign on, swipe a few people. Figure no one will like me or want to deal with an urban-ish chick living in central Wisconsin without a car, leave the app and forget about it. Repeat every 1 – 2 weeks. Except this time. This time, I signed on at a different time. My options were different, and I came across a guy who I found attractive enough and who piqued my interests with his words. I liked him.

And he liked me back!

And he sent a message almost immediately. So we chatted on and off all day. There was a lot of laughter, some flirting and general fun as we discussed video games, ponies and other things. It was lighthearted, but I stayed up later than usual to talk to him.

I finally fell asleep and woke up to a message, which I replied to, making fun of him in a friendly manner. I fell back asleep, excited to see his reply in the morning.

But it didn’t come. Not only was there no reply, but he has either blocked me or deleted his account because I can’t even see him in my list. Which makes me sad. And flabbergasted. There was fun and chemistry. We talked all day. Then you up and disappear? What gives.

I’ve experienced this a few times, and this is the second time this year. I’ll find someone who’s not only good on paper but to whom I am attracted. We’ll chat and have fun. He disappears.

But there seemed to be so much undeniable chemistry with this guy, and that is quite rare for me. There was so much chemistry that my mind couldn’t help but race ahead to future possibilities. Which makes it stings all the more.

Now, I know I was getting ahead of myself, but even if that weren’t the case, the “What gives?” still stands. Perhaps he didn’t feel chemistry like I did. Maybe I said something that rubbed him the wrong way or perhaps he decided against this Tinder thing all together (he did say he’s shy). Maybe someone better came along. He might have wanted me to initiate a meeting more quickly than I did. It is a hookup app, after all. I guess I’ll never know.

But even though it’s confusing and a bit hurtful, it gives me hope that it’s not entirely impossible for me to meet someone who makes the old heart pitter-patter again.

Comment


Best Sex Writing of the Year, Volume 1

June 14th, 2015

Another year, another edition of Best Sex Writing. Actually, this anthology of essays, blog posts and personal tales doesn’t come out every year, but we’re fortunate to have a release this year. This is the first since Best Sex Writing 2013, and it’s a bit different from previous options due to a new editor, Jon Pressick.

Thus, Best Sex Writing of the Year, Volume 1 sounds like the first title in a brand-new series, but it’s actually not. So if you’ve read any of the previous Best Sex Writing books, then you know what to expect from this one. And if you haven’t, you’re in for a collection of stories and articles to entertain and inform.

There’s plenty that’s familiar with the books that are now edited by Mr. Pressick, who you might know as the brains behind Sex in Words. For instance, there is a touching piece from Joan Price, who knows how to tug at my heart strings when discussing her deceased husband, and a piece about what exactly we should call sex toys by our own Epiphora. The former editor, Rachel K. Bussel, has even submitted a thought-provoking piece on sobriety and BDSM.

Best Sex Writing of the Year incorporates personal stories with professional studies and everything in between. Per usual, I find myself somewhat more enamored with the chapters that analyze sex and society from a scientific/research viewpoint. However, some of those personal pieces were interesting. Two such stories were those by former porn star Danny Wylde and current porn star Story. Wylde discusses his sex life after porn and Story discusses her mother’s influence on sex education, feminism and motherhood.

In another piece dedicated entirely to the industry of sex work, Laura Augustin looks at the complicated and often heart-breaking relationship that sex work and sex workers have with the world at large. Often ignored, penalized by laws and ignored by police, these people are treated as less than human and stigmatized. The article is insightful, articulate and well-researched.

There’s also a great op-ed from Alexandria Goddard, the blogger who is responsible for outting the young men of Steubenville who participated in, recorded and later posted about on social media the gang rape of a woman woman. Goddard was undoubtedly crucial to bringing these men to justice, and like her title says, wouldn’t change anything about what she did, even though she received a lot of flack for her actions.

There are too many stories to name individually. Jiz Lee and Mollena Williams discuss fisting and desire/submission, respectively. Tina Horn’s chapter about The Gates, a dominatrix house in Califonia, was telling and relateable, even to someone who has never been a prodomme.

In the pages of Best Sex Writing of the Year, you’ll find memoirs that make you cry, articles that enrage you and personal stories that make you chuckle and nod in understanding. Topics range from sex toys to laws to BDSM to sex work and everything in between. No corner of sexuality is left in the dark of this year’s anthology, and the collection is not only one of superb pieces by intelligent writers who love to talk about sex. Like other books in this series, and perhaps this is why I love it so much, it encourages you to talk — and think — about sex in new ways, as often as you can, and to everyone upon whom you happen.

Comment


OVO S2

June 8th, 2015

I cannot help but compare Ovo’s S2 to a boat. A good-lookin’ but sinkable boat. Had I more invested than whether I got off, I might describe it to the Titanic. Fortunately, I did not.

My comparison is quite literally. The shape of the S2, a clitoral vibrator that the manufacturer thinks you can lay on — hence the official name — is like a boat. It’s not entirely unlike the Bsoft by Bswish, of which I’ve tried both versions. I’ve since passed them on to new owners and homes because the shape and vibrators just don’t do it for me. The S2 will soon follow suit for fairly similar reasons.

I do think the S2 is better in terms of size. It’s less than 4 inches long and only about 1.6 inches thick, which means it doesn’t seem like an overly-large sex toy. The curved white side, which presses against your body, fits between your labia, and it becomes wider toward the top, which curves downward for you to rest your hand and press the buttons.

Shapewise, the S2 is a bit of a letdown because it doesn’t offer the pressure I like. Neither the shape of the smooth plastic nor the curve of the top allows me to comfortable press my fingers against it for the clitoral stimulation that I prefer, no, need to get off. Attempting to do so with the S2 was like a challenge I knew was doomed to fail. I can’t even recall if I did orgasm. If so, it was difficult and unforgettable — not words anyone would want to use to describe masturbation.

The shape wasn’t helped by the vibrations, which felt like they were coming from the middle or top of the vibrator rather than focused on the bottom, you know, the part you actually press against yourself. Perhaps the shape and hard plastic caused the vibrations to defuse in a lackluster way, but no matter what the reason, the result is the same: disappointment.

I prefer strong and deep vibrations externally. The deeper they are, the weaker they can be while still getting me off. This is why I like Laya Spot. It’s not the strongest vibe I own by far, but it’s definitely got deep enough vibrations to help. It’s also why I prefer the Miracle Massager to the Inspire, especially when the Inspire is on its higher settings. This is also true of the S2, which has two steady vibration settings, the higher of which is noticeably buzzier.

These two settings are followed by escalation, pulsation, fast pulsation, fast-fast-short pulsation, an a somewhat random-seeming pulsation setting. Without the power to back them up, those settings are all forgettable. The two buttons cycle back and forth through each setting, while the button closest to the edge must be held to power the S2 on and off.

I’m also not entirely thrilled by the buttons on the Ovo. With so much space, they could be bigger and easier to find and press. I like the soft buttons on the Siri much better in comparison; although, I’m not so thrilled about the 4-button layout or position. Indeed, I think the S2’s buttons could be moved further down the body to make more sense. My fingers point downward when I’m masturbating, toward the other end. This may be because of the amount of pressure I like.

The product video calls them luminated. Um. no. There’s a random LED under the silicone near them, but that’s it.

Interestingly, the top of the S2 is made of silicone but the part that actually touches you isn’t. This makes for a slicker sensation, and a little drag might even be beneficial. I don’t see why it’s all not plastic, to be honest; although, the design is rather contemporary and attractive.

Like most rechargeable vibrator’s, Ovo’s S2 comes with a USB charger. It comes with no adapter but you can use the one with your phone or pick one up for $1 at many retailers. SheVibe sells one for $7, but the price is marked up pretty high. There is a sticker on the cable that says it goes with the S2, which is handy.

My experience with OVO toys have just been disappointing. While the designs are pleasant to look at, performance has been mediocre. I’ll have to try an insertable before I bring down the hammer, but my hopes aren’t high.

Comment


Female Sexuality: Redacted and Undefined?

June 3rd, 2015

There is a process I go through, a process with which most of us are familiar, every time I get a new device. Even reformatting my Android phone or switching between keyboard apps makes this process a necessary one. It’s the act of adding words, whether slang, inside jokes or simply those left out for some reason or another by the keyboard developer.

I’ve posted screenshots of my personal dictionary to my friends because I was amused at the content. As you’d expect if you’d ever had a conversation with me in person, there are four-letter words in all their versions. If it can be used a noun, an adjective and a verb, I will love it all the more as a practical tool. Perhaps this is why “Fuck” truly is one of my favorite words. I can construct sentences from “Fuck” using only different tenses and word forms, and those all appear in my personal dictionaries.

personal dictionary

Swype isn’t down with sexting

Now, you can certainly write me off as a pervert with a dirty mouth, and I wouldn’t argue with that descriptor. It’s certainly not untrue. But it’s not painting the whole picture. You see, when my dictionary consists almost solely of words such as “cock” or “cunt,” it paints an even picture of the type of words that are withheld — and sometimes even suppressed — by the creators of these apps.

At best, it portrays them as prudes who are overly concerned with protecting their users from inappropriate conduct. And I don’t think “cunt” necessarily needs to be a suggestion as I hastily swipe away on my phone’s screen. This particular slang isn’t so common that it need pop up in our everyday communications, but what about “Sex?” Regardless of keyboard or how frequently I use that word — and you can bet it’s often! — no keyboard I’ve ever used has wanted to make it easier for me to easily add one of my most favorite words to a communique.

At worst, it highlights how ingrained misogyny is in our society. Yes, you’ve read that correctly. When I first picked up my Kindle Fire, I couldn’t imagine a specific time that I would send a message or post a tweet discussing vulvas and clits, especially given the awkwardness of the default — and only — keyboard. But I knew that time would come one day. It was a matter of when and not if.

I was utterly taken aback when the medical words, the correct terminology for female body parts, the very phrases that some people refuse to use erotically because they’re too cold and clinical sounding, were completely missing from my keyboard’s default dictionary. I couldn’t talk about my — or any — clitoris or vulva, even in a nonsexual sense, without first adding those words to a dictionary.

And, yes, I checked to see whether my Kindle was already aware of “penis.” It would appear that Amazon had truly developed a dick-tionary, a collection of vocabulary that acknowledged and suggested the rightful terms for a man’s reproductive organs but not those belonging to women. You can talk about the perineum, the anus and even testicles, but you’ll have to add “vagina.” It’s like this potential space in the human body has been obscured by the retail giant, like the non-sexual organs possessed by Alan Rickman’s angel character in the movie “Dogma.”

Ironically, my tablet recognize “kegels.” But I have to wonder if this is only because this is the name of a man, a doctor, who developed them. Without the vagina with which to do these exercises, that word certainly loses its usefulness! At least my Kindle produces this suggestion after having added the word to my user dictionary, rather than keeping it hidden away because it knows damned well why it was hidden in the first place!

There is some part of me that admits we live in a society both appalled by and obsessed with sex, and she is not overly surprised by these omissions of the suppression of sexually suggestive, well, suggestions when it comes to smartphone keyboards. It may be 2015, but I’m still forward thinking when compared to some. But there is no part of me that think this is an acceptable policy when only applied to female sexual organs in their most basic variations that are easily found in a traditional dictionary.

Are we still so uncomfortable with sex as a whole that we must police technology to discourage the use of clinical vernacular? Are we so obsessed with not talking about sex that nothing other than unhelpful, cutesy slang for our body parts, our orgasms and our sexual activity must be used, much to the chagrin of reviewers, sex educators and others like myself who talk about sex on a daily basis?

What does it say about a society when we obscure a woman’s body parts with black bars on TV screens and lines of code on our devices? A woman may have those parts — indeed, a trans-woman must have those parts to be considered as such — and there’s no negotiation that she must make them available to men. But she musn’t display or talk about them

Perhaps what it says about society is less important than what it does to society. It leads to woman in 50-year marriages without not a single orgasm to show for it. Women spend decades not receiving oral sex from partners who routinely accept blowjobs from their partners. They don’t discuss sex with their partners or even view talking about one of the most important elements of their relationship as a priority. It starts when we’re children, and it never ends for some people. Thanks to the Internet, more people are discussing sex than ever, discovering what their bodies can do, expanding their sexual satisfaction and improving their lives.

But the wrong messages — or no messages at all — are still being spread in other places. Teen girls aren’t even aware that masturbation is something they can do because sex ed only mentions boys jacking off. As a teenager, I once had to explain to my friend that her urethra and vagina weren’t the same body part. I’m constantly shocked about the number of women who can’t name their own reproductive organs or give even a brief overview of how their birth control works!

Women are afraid to discuss sexual function and dysfunction to the point of accidental but completely preventable pregnancy. A shockingly-large portion of women are afraid to discuss these things with doctors, medical professionals who should be at the front line, helping to combat sexually-transmitted infections and raise awareness about cancers other than break cancer one month out of a year.

The implications are worrying and far more vast than I could articular in these paragraphs. Indeed, it seems like I could write an entire book about the ramifications of dusting female sexuality under the rug.

This is why so-called scientists are still publishing articles debunking female ejaculation as a myth and British lawmakers have banned essentially any pornography focusing on a woman’s pleasure. Are we only allowed to discuss female sexuality inasmuch as it pertains to a man? Is it only okay to speak of it in hushed whispers but not in any manner where another person or computer can bear witness to the conversation having taken place to begin with?

Whether in print or on the screen, every effort is made to ban us from discussing, discovering and divulging what is one of the most important aspects of humanity — and certainly the most important aspect of myself as a person and a woman — and so few people seem to notice, let alone care.

But I cannot help but care. Because I am a woman. I have a vagina, a vulva and a clitoris. They don’t always make me happy, but they are mine. And I want to help others feel the same about their own parts.

I care because I want to send messages to my lovers about my cunt. I want to continue writing articles and sex toy reviews on this blog. I want to encourage my peers to seek medical advice when something seems amiss with their vaginas, and I don’t want to hear another living soul refer to the entire vulva as a pussy. I don’t want anyone to think they must call their vaginal canal a “vajayjay.”

And I certainly can’t stand that idea that anyone would subconsciously internalize, even for a second, the idea that discussion any of these things — and so many more — is taboo because their so-called smartphones don’t offer the terms as suggestions.

Comment


Ugh

June 2nd, 2015

I’ve been sick for three weeks, and I’m just over it. I don’t want to test toys or blog about it. i don’t want to do anything other than watch FRIENDS while lying on my couch. And maybe order pizza. Maybe.

Comment


Save on Sex Toys This Memorial Day

May 23rd, 2015

Good Vibes

Good Vibes has a sliding scale going on. The more you spend, the more you save! What does that get you?

 

The sale is going on right now so click the banner to shop!

 

Babeland

Enjoy a flat 20% off your order with code 20EMDW. Ends 5/25

Lovehoney

Save 25$ when you spend $25! This is a great coupon if you don’t plan to spend hundreds of dollars!

For starters, you can get the Stronic Eins for $146 or the Drei and Zwei for $150, the cheapest you’ll find them anywhere I think! Check out these items, too:

Le Mystere

lmflash300x600_114437_l.jpg

Frederick’s of Hollywood

Up to an Extra 75% Off Memorial Weekend Clearance Event + Free Shipping. Valid 5/22 – 5/25

Adam & Eve
Adam & Eve – Take $20 off $40, Plus Free Standard Shipping with Code: SPGSAVE – Valid through 6/30

Designer Intimates

Save 25% with code HAPPY25. Check out my review for ideas about styles that they carry!

Comment


Boss Dildo

May 6th, 2015

I’m not sure I can describe how excited I was over the prospect over own the Boss dildo. I own the original AAA-powered Boss, which I described using the word “love”, and the larger and rechargeable Big Boss, though the latter is one of those toys I really should use more! I saw no reason why I wouldn’t love this new offering from Fun Factory.

Each of the toys in the Boss lineup varies slightly. The Big Boss was larger than the original, and the “stub” is a dildo with a suction cup base that doesn’t curve in a way that suggests “clitoral stimulation.” Not that the other two really offered much without bending them; although, I did do this with the original quite a bit.

I rarely order dildos in flesh tones, so was pleasantly surprised when this showed up in the caucasion variant, I guess. It’s also available in black, like the two vibes, and pink. The Boss dildo (pictured here with the Joyboxx Playtray) has a texture quite like the vibes. It’s velvety in your hand. During use, however, this creates a fuck ton of drag that requires nearly as much lube. This is especially true around the contoured head, which has a more intense “lip” than the vibes, but the overall head is less pronounced. The texture of the dildo also seems smoother than the vibes but no less draggy.

The Boss dildo is fairly impressive with seven insertible inches and a diameter of 1.7″. In terms of toys, the Boss dildo falls somewhere in the middle. The original measured 1.6″ wide and about the same length. The Big Boss is slightly wider and ever-so-slightly longer for insertion but definitely longer overall. Because of the color, the dildo appears to be wider, but black is just so slimming!

Big Boss, Boss dido and the Boss vibrator

Big Boss, Boss dido and the Boss vibrator

Because I don’t tend to warm up with other toys or use many insertibles that are this large, the Boss dildo just winds up feeling a little cumbersome. But the size and firm-ish texture are probably going to work really well for someone who likes that sort of thing. It’s firm enough to thrust like crazy once you’re all lubed up. Although, the asymmetrical suction cup base is a little weird for using as a handle. This isn’t a deal breaker, however.

The Boss dildo still has two ridges that come toward toward the base. These are more like the original Boss because the Big Boss, the ridges were quite defined. They’re more gradual on the dildo. With the vibrators, this was intended to stimulate your clit. This isn’t really the case, however, because it doesn’t curve enough, those the curve is more akin to the original Boss, too. Without the vibrations, it doesn’t do anything for my externally, so I find myself reaching for another toy.

The curve does do a decent job of stimulating my G-spot, but it’s no Pure Wand or Comet, so some people might need something more. Good Vibes also suggests you give this one a try for prostate pleasure.For me, the Boss is less about shape and more about size. It’s filling, and conquering it fills me me all sorts of price.

Ultimately, I think I like this shape better as a vibrator. Because I so often tend to simply hold it in place while stimulating my clit, it works better to rely on vibrations rather than thrusting as the source of pleasure with the texture on the Boss dildo. I’d love to recommend any of the vibes to my readers, but it doesn’t look like Fun Factory makes it any longer. This is a shame because it was a wonderful toy, both in vibrations and size/shape.

If I’m being honest, the Boss dildo is the type of toy I’ll keep in my drawer and forget about until i feel so guilty that I have to use it, but it’s not the type of toy I’d use for a quickie session where I want to cum, squirt and get back to work.

Comment


12 Sex Toys I Need to Use More

April 22nd, 2015

It’s not that I do it on purpose, it’s just that I’m not very thoughtful about cycling through all my sex toys and accessories to make sure they get use and prevent them from picking up dust. I mean, it’s bound to happen sooner or later as a sex toy reviewer, right? I only have one clit and one vagina and two hands, and it’s fairly easy for me to get off, so I don’t need to use a bunch of toys every time I masturbate.

However, the truth of it is that I simply don’t use toys all the time. Or even most of the time. I usually pop open Tumblr, find a GIF I like and manually stimulate my clit. If I’m using toys, I’m probably using a clitoral stimulator like Siri, Ora or even my Layaspot, which has consistently remained one of my go-to vibes for nearly as long as I’ve run this blog.

D1 stone dildo by Laid

D1 stone dildo by Laid

And I reach for those toys repeatedly because I know they work. I keep them readily accessible because maybe I’m a bit too goal oriented? Or perhaps I don’t want to have to think about using the controls of a toy because it operates differently and I’m too tired or not paying enough attention to it to become reacquainted with it.

Of course being single and involuntarily abstinent at the moment means that I simply don’t have a chance to use my restraints, impact play toys and massage oils. But let’s not focus on that, eh?

For the most part, I don’t use dildos a lot. While I was a huge fan of my Spur before I killed it, I don’t seem to give as much love to Tex.

Glass dildos — ceramic and stainless steal, too — are especially forgotten when you consider how many I have. The Twist (1), which Liberator no longer makes, is a seriously enjoyable toy, as are the 24K Double Happiness (2, my first glass toy!) and the 24K Double Pleasure (3), which are essentially the same dildo but with different appearances.

I also don’t reach for ceramic much. This is mostly due to the fickle nature of the pieces in the Ceramix (4) line.

And the heft of D.1 (5) is what I usually use as an excuse not to reach for this gorgeous dildo more than I do.

It would seem that G-spot toys are the ones most pushed to the back burner — and the back of the drawer. This makes sense because I am able to squirt but not orgasm through G-spot stimulation. That’s why I own a number of internal vibes that I may not even have used since I first reviewed them — Rondo (6), Mona (7, which got some use for a while but no more), Form 6 (8, more battery issues), Boss and Big Boss and Stronic Eins (9, 10 and 11), a toy whose sensations I really liked. But it remains in its box on the floor of my bedroom since the second I pushed “Publish” on the review!

Mona (Red) and Mona 2

Mona and Mona 2 get no love )=

 

I actually try to use Yooo (12) more than I am able to because the battery just seems like it’s total crap at this point. The last time I reached for it, it was dead. Then, when I tried to charge it, the magnet wouldn’t click into place. After several hours, it seemed like it was completely dead, but I managed to situated the charge on my Kindle so that Yooo would finally charge. Annoying!

There are so many more toys begging to be used, but these ones stand out as the most regretful ones to be forgotten. I do think I might dedicated tonight to Fun Factory with the Yooo, my new Boss dildo and maybe one of the existing vibes. Considering as my Internet has died, that seems like a good idea!

I’ve had this draft sitting in my dashboard for over a year, and I think that I will finally get around to writing and publishing it. Not just for posterity’s sake but to encourage myself to use some of these toys a time or two again — and perhaps write some followup reviews.

So what about you guys — do you have any toys that you generally like but that have fallen to the wayside?

6 Comments