5 Weird Dildos I Totally Want to Try

July 25th, 2014

Yea, okay. Weird is a subjective term, especially when you’ve purchased a tentacle dildo for a friend as a Christmas gift, and you’ve use multiple glass dildos that look like undersea creatures.

1. Cthulhu

Necronomicox makes the “Myths” dildo, which is everyone’s favorite creature from a horror story. This one’s made of silicone while many strange dildos I’d try are made of questionable latex. His tentacle tail is super adorable. You can get customize the dildo in one, two or three colors. Buy it for $125.

The Xeno art dildo from the same company is creepy and looks like it would feel amazing.

2.  The Dragon’s Tongue

Dragon's Tongue from Bad Dragon

Dragon’s Tongue from Bad Dragon

Bad Dragon is well know ’round these parts even though I haven’t had a chance to use any of their toys. The dragon’s tongue caught my eye because of the colors and shape. It just seems like it would give me a good time. The exclusive colors for these toys are The company lets you build your own from 4 sizes and 5 different firmnesses. Plus, you can get a fucking art print of the dragon whose dick this is when you order.


Runners up from Bad Dragon include The Tailstretcher and their tentacle with glow-in-the-dark suckers.

3. Avatar

I didn’t like this movie, but I’d put Alien Dildos’ Avatar dildo inside me. The design is relatively human-esque with interesting texture along the shaft, a large contoured head and balls that I could without but won’t hate on because it’s a freakin’ avatar dildo. Props on the bright blue, right?

I also love the Phallus, which I’d order in metallic purple. Alien Dildos makers all of their toys with either Vac-U-lock or suction cup bases.

In fact, I love all of their designs, but most of them are too big for me.

4. Ghost

Whipsider Rubber works is one of those companies that specialized in awesome toys. This company made the tentacle dildo I bought for a friend. Sadly, I’ve never owned any of their toys myself. Despite the name, dildos like the Ghost are made of silicone. Sold in two colors — tombstone and red velvet, they’re after my own heart — this dildo glows in the dark to depict the ribs and claw hands of a creature that I would hate to see on TV but would fuck for hours.

Runner up: the Jellyfish. Gradient colors. A bulbous “head.” Super texture.

5. Cyborg

Fleshlight was definitely trying to turn heads, for better or worse, with its Freaks lineup. There are matching dildos and masturbators. The details on the deep purple Cyborg dildo are enough to make H.R. Geiger jealous.  It’s the cheapest on this list by far at under $60.

Fleshlight Freaks Cyborg

Fleshlight Freaks Cyborg

The company obviously thought of Avatar when it came to the Alien dildo, which is a marbled blue and wider than it is thick. I actually really want to put it in my mouth.

Honestly, there are some weirder toys, but the ones I want to use please both my sense of aesthetics and sensibility. Dog dick dildos? No thank you. That Obama dildo? It’s soon going to be dated and isn’t very pretty to begin with. Zombie dildos just gross me the fuck out. You cannot screw a zombie. Its dick will fall off, okay? Okay.

So what strange dildos do you have your eye on?

13 Comments to “5 Weird Dildos I Totally Want to Try”

  • Pete James (@PeteJames12) says:

    Wow, never really looked into these types of dildos before besides seeing a few Bad Dragon toys here and there online. My lady said she’d only maybe try the Avatar dildo, mainly for it’s color. As for me, I think dildos that glow in the dark would be fun to try 🙂

  • Trix says:

    Some of these look downright painful, but I have to give points for originality!

  • SangsaRa says:

    I’m preparing a post on all the tentacle toys I can find but I can’t convince a certain etsy maker to even give me a discount so I have to wait till I’m flush
    I love my BD tentacle and my dragons tongue even more but my fav is Winston’s Tail. I think we agree that tails tongues and tentacles are great but dog and horse penises cross a line for me. Especially when they are moulded from actual animals. I’m working up the courage to try BDs royal dragon which will be my first fantasy phallus.
    Really I just love the softer silicone and the colours are super fun.
    I checked out the alien site but was shocked at how huge they were-7″ C? Ouch!!

  • Apricot says:

    Oh wow, I’ve looked at the Fleshlight Freaks dildos before but must have missed the cyborg because that is amazing! I wish Whipspider Rubberworks was still going, I wanted a tentacle so bad.

  • Zena says:

    Oh my gosh the Dragon Tongue! I love that it is so customizable, and the fact you can get an art print of your dragon just adds a whole new level or awesomeness. I will definitely be checking out some more products from Bad Dragon 😉

  • Karen DeGraaf says:


  • That Virgin Who Can't Drive says:

    I LOVE the look of the Ghost (his modest little pudenda pose cracks me up). It’s too bad that Whipspider is currently MIA (unless anyone has heard from them/successfully ordered from them.

  • Daddy Dom says:

    I like the Cthulu one.

  • Darrian says:

    Some of them are interesting. I love the Jellyfish one…. the same artist who makes that one makes a Tentacle dildo that I would LOVE to try. I have a huge tentacle fetish…

  • Angela P. says:

    The Cyborg one looks like it would feel good with all those bumps and grooves. And it looks very futuristic.

  • I have a great and powerful need for that jellyfish dildo, because I have a small obsession with jellyfish. I imagine it’d be a bitch to clean though…

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