Electric Infrared Massager

April 3rd, 2010

I have a secret. It’s not really that much of a secret, actually. Some like it hot but.. I don’t. Not really. I am not a big fan of heat. I keep my AC on all the time. I hate to sweat. I spend too much time inside on hot summer days because I cannot handle the sun. So have I strayed from heating products. It has been years since I’ve used a heating lube that was not apart of some “his and hers” set. I have never tried warm temperature play. It just didn’t seem appealing. So it was really a bit out of character when I decided to try the Electric Infrared Massager (available at the Adult Toy Shoppe) but sometimes the character we have come to be isn’t the character we should always be, right?

The Electric Infrared Massager comes in a giant blister pack with a tacky insert, along with 5 different attachments for the vibrating side. This massager measures just shy of a foot at 11″ and the handle alone has a circumference of nearly 2″. The actual head has a diameter of 3.5″. The attachments all vary in size and shape but none are larger than the heating element.

The handle itself is about 8″ long and while the length does help offset the weight of the head, it’s still a bit unwieldy. The controls on the Electric Infrared Massager are located on the upper half of the handle, toward the shaft and consist of a single button witch slides between the Off, Lo and Hi settings. The button does not slide as smoothly as I would like. Perhaps it is because my hands are small but I find myself grasping the massager toward the other end of the handle (where it is thinner) and I am not able to reach the button without actually moving my hand. I would personally like to see the button moved down, the handle thinner or shortened 2 – 3 inches.

For the most part, the massager is encased in a hard plastic which is metallic red in appearance. The lower half of the shaft is textured which makes it easier to grasp and there are a few “details” in black plastic (like the area around the button which is labeled). This massager has a “flexible” neck which is made of accordion-like plastic. However, the flexibility is limited to maybe 10-15 degrees either way and that is even with an effort to put pressure on it. I would have preferred a truly flexible head like the one on the Miracle Massager.

The head is mostly spherical with one side providing the heating stimulation while attachments push on to the other. The heating element side is round and the element seems to be encased with a dark but translucent plastic. When the element is on, it can be seen glowing red through the plastic. The rounded design is broad but not entirely seamless. This end won’t be inserted but can still collect some gunk.

The other side of the head is flattened with a stout post in the center. Each attachment has a a round neck which just fits over this post. Attachments do not lock or click into place; they just fit snugly. There are two small holes in the connecting post so perhaps the attachments use a bit of suction as well. The attachments are not difficult to apply or remove, however.

One might thing that the attachments themselves have something to do with the heating characteristics of this vibrator but it’s not the case. The attachment side has no heating effect. On the other hand, the rounded, heating side does transmit some of the vibrations because they are focused in the head.

My biggest problem with this vibrator is that the functions are dependent. If you turn it on low vibrations, it will turn on high heat and vice versa. I see no reason why the heating element should be on when you use attachments (because it won’t be touching you anyway). Furthermore, it always felt like the heat was on high when the vibrations were also on high but this could be due to the massager heating up because of the vibrations. I actually found myself wanting to turn the vibrations on low and the heat on high even though this is what it is supposed to do.

Like many electric vibrators, this one is pretty strong. Maybe not the strongest ever but it beats out any battery operated toy I own. The lower setting is definitely deeper and more rumbly; the high setting sometimes is too high pitched for me and causes me to tickle uncomfortable. Surprisingly enough, the Electric Infrared Massager is not super loud. I don’t think it could be heard through a closed door (I couldn’t but my AC is a little loud).

I was not blown away by any of the attachments. I first tried the rounded foam attachment which was okay but didn’t transmit the vibrations amazingly. Also, I have no idea how sanitary the hard foam really is. In fact, all of the softer attachments are of some mystery material. Perhaps a soft rubber or TPR but I have no idea at the packaging doesn’t say. I assume the hard attachments are plastic but I could be wrong.

The single cone attachment will probably work well for folks who like pinpoint stimulation; although, I don’t. I thought the double cone attachment might surround my clit but, in reality, the points were too far away to hug it nicely. The “tickler” and “wide bumped” head are both as wide as the entire hide which makes them really bulky for clit stimulation. I guess my crotch is just not that wide. LOL However, I think that both of those attachments would work nicely for a body massage. Ultimately, I think this design is much better suited for actual massage than sexual stimulation.

I did enjoy the infrared heat, though. It doesn’t get too hot at all. Rather, it sort of feels the way the sun feels on your skin on a comfortable day, just warming you slightly. In fact, I prefer the warmth of the high setting. The reminiscence of a nice day actually makes me feel serene and the heat makes me super aware of the area it is on; I would assume it is drawing blood to the area. However, the head is still quite bulky for use in intimate areas.

The cord is fairly long: about 6′. I can easily use it on my bed because there is an outlet a few feet away but it’s not something which could be easily used outside, in a vehicle et cetera, at least, not without an extension cord. Of course, because this is a corded toy, it is not waterproof and should stay far away from the bathroom or pool. Cleaning would best be done with a damp cloth or toy wipe, not running water.

I didn’t know how much I could like heat until I tried the Electric Infrared Massager. However, I feel it would be a better investment if it were fine tuned so that the settings can be used independently and the controls are easier to reach.



April 2nd, 2010

Metal is all the rage in sex toys these days so I wasn’t entirely surprised to see that Doc Johnson has its own vibrating aluminum line, appropriately named: Alumination. These petite vibrators are extremely straight forward: a cylindrical shaft topped off with a rounded end.

This vibrator is long and slim – 6″ x .72″ diameter; it seems to essentially be an elongated mini bullet. Although I have not used them, Jimmyjane’s Little Chroma/Steel/Gold vibrators seem quite similar so this might be a more cost effective option if you’re wondering whether or not a toy of this style is good for you. The overall feel is weighty and compact,

Because it is so thin, there is potential to use is as replacement for bullets in certain toys (cock rings) but it could be awkward because of the length. It is good for precise and direct stimulation and would well externally. It could be angled to hit certain spots internally but the lack of texture and girth limit its functionality, in my opinion. I did not especially enjoy the sensation inside; it definitely felt a little lacking. Because I like broader external stimulation, I also did not love my Alumination externally, either.

The size and design make it perfect for newbies, though! It’s not intimidating at all and the smooth metal is easy to insert with only a touch of lube (if that). I would strongly warn against anal use because there is no flanged base on this one and it would slip out of a person’s fingers with ease when coated with lube.

However, it’s ridiculously easy to use. There is a single push button on the end of the battery cap. You know the type. Press once to turn it on, press again to cycle through the settings and then once more to turn it off. This does mean there is no “quick off” function, of course. There are 3 strengths of continuous vibration so this vibrator might not be exciting enough for some people. The vibration is higher pitched and all levels feel similar to me personally but if you like pinpoint vibrations, these are focused in the last inch or so of the shaft.

In terms of noise, Alumination is not the loudest vibrator I’ve tried nor the quietest. You could safely use it in one room of the house with others home (door closed) but not in the same room.

Because it is metal, you can experiment with temperature play. Let the Alumination rest in a bowl of cool water or ice cubes to chill it. Replace the cold water with warm and you have a different experience altogether. Some might be disappointed that it is not pure metal because the battery cap is plastic but I didn’t especially notice. The cap screwed on and off easily enough for me to insert 2 AAA batteries and seems fairly secure (to keep them in place, at least). Doc Johnson even claims the Alumination vibrators are waterproof and there is an O-ring where the cap screws on but it does not meet seamlessly with the shaft. There is an additional seam at the end of the shaft where a separate piece of metal caps off the curved end. This piece is glued into place and seems secure but can easily collect gunk.

Aside from that, the sleek surface makes this toy incredibly easy to clean with a wipe and physical dirt will wash right off with water. It won’t collect lint which is one of the things I detest about silicone, so it can be dried with any old towel. It isn’t made of any material which will react so it can be tossed in a box with other non-reactive materials. Plus, the small size makes it incredibly easy to store (between the mattresses or deep in your pillowcase?) without being found and the same could be said for travel.

I didn’t keep the box because it is quite a bit bigger than the vibe itself but I enjoyed the floral motifs in metallic paint. The box has a friendly, feminine feel to it. While I have not loved every Doc Johnson toy I’ve tried, the box art is usually visually appealing.

The Alumination vibrator seems to be a solid piece which offers some versatility. It’s extremely affordable as well so it might be a good toy for a newbie. I didn’t knock my socks off but it was a nice experience, regardless.

Find vibrators like this at one of the biggest selections of sex toys online at SexToy.com



March 19th, 2010

Bubbles is a cute, albeit short, G-spot vibrator available in fitting bubblegum pink. It gets its name from its appearance – a serious of bulbs on the shaft which look like bubbles. Typical of most Fun Factory vibrators, the silicone of Bubbles is soft and pliable; although, the core of the toy is not, so the shaft is not uber flexible. Toward the end, the bubbles are pure, soft silicone so the head can be flexed a bit this way and that. Although Bubbles might look almost fluffy in photos, it is not that soft.

Unlike many G-spot toys, Bubbles is wider and more filling. While I do not particularly enjoy super thin toys, I found the specific shape, size and perhaps even material of this vibrator to be difficult to maneuver and insert, even with an abundant amount of water based lube and arousal. Bubbles will probably be a better fit for someone whose G-spot is not as shallow as mine; I usually prefer a less angled head than that on this vibrator and the fit was just not comfortable where I needed to vibrator to sit. In addition to this, Bubbles may be too short to reach some G-spots because there are only insertable 4.5 inches.

Because of the separate bulges, Bubbles has a variety of widths. It seems to be wider right where it curves (the second to last “bubble”) and it has a diameter of 1.6″. The lower bubbles are around the same girth while the bubble on the end is slightly smaller with a 1.5″ diameter. Obviously, it is less girthy in between the bubbles but this actually seems to make it harder for me to maneuver. Having such a wide bulge at the curve point also hinders movement.

Although the shape was not ideal, I found the vibrations to be satisfactory. They are not incredibly deep and do not quite compare with the Sinfflut Intensity (also from Fun Factory), but are fairly strong, especially for a toy of its size. There are multiple settings of vibration which are controlled by two buttons: one which powers on the toy/increases vibration and one which decreases vibration/turns off the toy. The symbols are embossed into the silicone itself and you have to press through it to control the toy. I found this to be a little difficult as the softer silicone requires an exact touch and my fingernails frequently get in the way. I would much prefer hard plastic buttons at the base.

There are about 6 modes of steady vibration. Toward the higher settings, they do tend to blend together. There are also 3 pulsating modes which are essentially slow pulse, medium pulse and fast pulse. I do not think my Bubbles originally pulsated correctly at first but it does now.

In use, Bubbles is not whisper quiet but would probably not be heard through a closed door even on the higher settings.

Bubbles is also unique in that it is part of Fun Factory’s line of new click and charge vibrators. These rechargeable vibrators run on an internal battery and connect to a magnetic charger at their base (which is small, rounded and plastic so it may become slippery during use) which then plugs into the wall. The toy and charger have Fun Factory logos which need to be lined up. When charging, a red light on the charger indicates status but my charger actually seems to have a broken light (but it still works). The toy does come charged which is a plus.

Babeland sent me a magnetic charger with Bubbles so I assume it and similar click and charge toys will come with it. Both the toy and the charger have the same instruction manual which is quite big as, per usual, it contains several languages. This information states that the toy can be used approximately 1 hour on the highest setting. I did use it 2 – 3 times before charging it and it definitely did not lose any strength. Although it says these toys should be charged before first use (and that charge can take up to 6 hours), I did not charge mine. The toy cannot be used while charging; it will switch off. The set up does not allow a toy to be ruined by overcharging, which is always nice. There is a warning that Bubbles should never be stored dead; it should always be charged.

Because there are no ports or holes or anything of the sort, Bubbles is completely waterproof and can be played with in the shower or bath. This also makes cleaning a cinch because the soft silicone will attract lint that is hard to remove with cleaning wipes or sprays. I find running water does the trick much better.

While my anatomy did not love Bubbles, it is a quality toy and the click and charge system is pretty awesome. I definitely want to check out other BiMini vibes from Fun Factory.


Beyond #1

March 12th, 2010

If this G-spot vibrator looks familiar, it’s probably because it was designed akin to Ophoria’s Beyond 3 dildo except, where the dildo has is an “S” shape with a loop at the base for maneuverability (or inserting a bullet), the vibrator has a straighter base that houses the batteries. Otherwise, both toys share an enlarged and rounded head, intended to stimulate the G-spot. They are both quality made, out of silicone (although the Beyond 1 cannot be boiled to sterilize because of the mechanical parts) and have 3 soft ridges on the shaft for extra stimulation. However, the Beyond 1 has a pretty silver band separating the shaft and battery cap; it contracts nicely with the silicone (mine is black). Beyond 1 is also shorter with a total length of 7.5″ and an insertable length of, offering about 6.5″ for insertion.

As this is my first Ophoria toy, I do not know about other products but presentation was nice. The outter box/cover is white with the logo on it. This covers a black box, in which sits the vibrator on foam. There is a little tab to lift the foam which grants access to the storage pouch and included information. Some might use the box for storage but I prefer the pouch myself. It is black, extremely soft and not linty – perhaps microfiber. It’s also unique in that it the storage pouch is not with one open end that cinches. Indeed, it is more like an envelope and the toy slips in lengthwise. Then, the whole thing is tied up with ribbon that wraps around.

The silicone of the Beyond 1 is definitely more firm than it is soft. Most of the shaft seems to be silicone covered plastic without give. The head is also a thick silicone which is firm as well but the area right below the head (near the 3 ridges) is thinner and not covered plastic so it can be bent a bit. The silicone of this vibrator is smooth and velvety but will pick up lint if it is not in its pouch. The silver band next to the battery cap is painted plastic while the cap itself is plastic with a softer power button.

Battery installation is easy and the Beyond 1 actually comes with the required 2 AAA batteries. That is always a nice touch. The directions for batteries are engraved into the plastic of the toy for easy reference and the cap itself slides and locks into place. Beware that this toy is not a waterproof toy and take care when cleaning.

The Beyond 1 G-spot vibrator is incredibly easy to use with one button to power it on, off and toggle through modes – of which there are 9. Although there is only one button, the toy can be turned off at any more by holding it down for a few seconds. This is preferable to having to cycle through all the modes but I would prefer an instant off because you still do have to wait. I find it’s actually quicker to just pull out the batteries (although I doubt that is healthy for the life of the toy).

The 9 modes of vibration include a low, medium and high steady vibration and 6 other pulsation and escalation settings. While these settings are interesting, many of the mare quite similar and the Beyond 1 would not be less of a toy without them; indeed, I find 9 settings to be just a bit of overkill these days. If you are interested, however, the PDF manual by Ophoria describes these functions well.

The vibrations are not incredibly high pitched but do lack the depth that I really love. Yet, despite this, I found the Beyond 1 to perform well. My G-spot is pretty sensitive to vibrations and squirting was easy – once I got the toy inserted. Although the shaft of the Beyond 1 is not giant (it has a 1.5″ diameter) and the shaft is fairly slim, the difference in size between the head and shaft of the toy is pretty drastic and can make insertion difficult or even painful, especially given the unique design of the head of the toy. Even when I was well lubricated (water based only) and aroused, I had some difficulty. It was definitely easier for me to use Beyond 1 after playing with other insertables. I imagine this will prevent the Beyond 1 from being comfortable or enjoyable to use for some people because of their builds and would definitely not recommend it to a sex toy newbie.

Honestly, I have used the Beyond 1 for less for G-spot play than I have externally which might seem odd but given my preference for broader, rounded surfaces, the Beyond 1 really fit the bill. I can move it against myself in such a way that reminds me of a penis rubbing on my clit to produce some nice orgasms. Because my G-spot is fairly shallow, I can almost use the Beyond 1 as a dual stimulator, inserting just more than the head but it’s not ideal.

While I am pleasantly surprised by the versatility of this vibrator, I do have some less than thrilling thoughts. After my first use (and second wash), the Beyond 1 G-spot vibrator has begun to rattle during use. It still works fine and, sometimes I can’t even notice the rattling (like when it’s under a blanket) but it is more noticeable during pulsation settings and a bit annoying. Even with the rattle, Beyond 1 is pretty quiet and couldn’t be heard through a closed door but it’s not silent as the phrase “whisper quiet technology” suggests.

Additionally, I could not feel the under the head during use. The toy might even be easier to maneuver without the extra texture but that is just an educated guess on my part. On a semi-related note, some folks experienced painful issues with seams on other Ophoria toys, including the Beyond 3 dildo, but while the seams are visible to the eye and tactile to the fingers, they were not noticeable in use.

I do really like Ophoria’s Beyond 1 G-spot vibrator. I usually do not find G-spot vibrators to be very versatile and this may be the first one that can be used internally and externally for me so I will definitely keep it handy.


Petite Couture Collection™ – ecstasy

March 7th, 2010

Having tried a full sized Couture rabbit by California Exotic, I wasn’t too thrilled to get a petite version to review. It seems to me that if a toy powered by 3 AAs is not powerful enough to get me off, then a smaller, less powerful version is not going to have much luck either. That’s not to say I was going in expecting to fail but I wasn’t expecting it to blow my mind either.

It’s a real shame because the soft silicone of the couture line is a step up from porous materials like jelly and the sleek lines are attractively classy, in my opinion. The texture of the Petite Couture Collection Ecstasy is velvety, with a bit of drag and mostly devoid of any shapes save for a gentle ridge that runs around the head then comes together down the center of the vibe, toward the clit stimulator. There are no seams in the silicone. Because the silicone is soft, it will unfortunately pick up lint. There is some slight variation in the shaft size but overall, the diameter sticks near 1.25″ and there are no difficult angles or bulges to maneuver, making it better suited for beginners than many rabbits. Even if you’re not a beginner, you might opt for a Petite Couture piece because they are smaller in length, too. This one offers 4.75″ insertable inches, a change from the larger rabbits which do not work well with all anatomies.

Like the regular Couture Collection, Ecstasy has a silver, plastic base which continues the sleek look with it’s contemporary lines. There are 3 buttons to control this rabbit vibrator: a master power switch and a button for each function (rotation of the shaft and vibration of the clitoral stimulator). When the power is one, the buttons light up a very bright blue, so bright, in fact, that I used the light for a flashlight in the dark. The functions can operate separately so there are many ways to enjoy this toy.

There are 3 speeds of shaft rotation which I found enough to make me squirt; however, I was unable to successfully stimulate both my G-spot and clit as I had to pull the rabbit out a bit to hit the right spot. I have a shallow G-spot and I believe the thinner shaft of the Petite Couture Collection™ – ecstasy just couldn’t hit the right spots. I think my PC muscles are a bit out of shape, however. The rotation stood up to my clenching on 2 out of the 3 speeds and it just seems like it shouldn’t with such a small power source.

Some might also find the clitoral nub to be a little on the short side because it does not have rabbit ears or what-have-you extending its length – which is only 1″. Generally, I like the idea of this shape better than all the animals because I trend to press the bullet part right against my clit instead of the ears or arms or other body parts. This one does curl up slightly toward the body/clit but the bullet is just not strong or deep enough for me. Even with 3 steady vibration modes and 4 more pulsation and escalating patterns, I was pretty let down. The vibrations are higher pitched than I like and really didn’t reach deep beneath the surface. Even the pulsation was underwhelming and lacked the throbbing sensation which is a requirement in strong vibes. I wound up turning them off pretty quickly when I realized they would not get me off.

In regards to a few technical details, the Ecstasy is pretty quiet and wouldn’t be heard through a closed door. The rotating portion does have a bit of an annoying whine, however. Because of its silicone composition, only water based lubricants should be used. These vibrators are supposed to be waterproof but the battery compartment does not seem to seal tightly so I wouldn’t submerge them during use or washing. Soap and water washing or shower use would probably be fine, however.

While I think the Petite Couture Collection™ – ecstasy might be a good first rabbit or even a first sex toy for some users, I was just really underwhelmed by its performance, which I expected would be the case. It’s a step in the right direction and I do like the idea of more variety in rabbit sizes but I personally need.. dare I dare it.. more power.



Paul and Paulina

January 25th, 2010

Let me preface this by saying I’d like this rabbit style vibrator much better if it were called Pauley Perrette because that’s what I always think instead of “Paul and Paulina.” And I love Pauley.

All that aside, Paul and Paulina is an adorable vibrator. I’ve seen it in a beautiful blue, a bright green and the colour I received: baby pink. Both the insertable portion and the clitoral stimulator are shaped like worms or caterpillars which are coming out of an apple and the soft silicone which coats the toy has ridges to add to the effect (and add texture, too). There are some artistic ‘dimples’ in the apple which may prove to be effective finger holds but did not aid me in use. The worms appear to be smiling and have two embossed dots for eyes. If animal toys are not your thing, then this vibrator will not be for you. The silicone around the shaft is a little loose so there is give when squeezed but there is less give around the clitoral stimulator.

Because of the ridges on the shaft, I would recommend using lube (water based only). The soft silicone has a slightly velvety texture which increases drag. While I found I could feel those ripples, they were not entirely stimulating. Someone with a more sensitive vagina might find otherwise, however.

Like most soft silicone, Paul and Paulina picks up lint, fur etc. Storing is in a ziploc/toy bag or wrapped in a scarf may help. And using a microfiber towel to dry it after cleaning isn’t a bad idea, either/ Because of the design of the battery compartment, I would definitely not take this in the bath or shower. A soap and water washing should be safe as long as you keep the battery end out of the direct flow of water. Sprays and wipes may not help to rid this vibrator of the lint that it collects.

From end to end it measures just under 10″, 5.5″ of which are insertable. It’s bulky, the way many rabbits tend to be and that can sometimes hinder maneuverability, especially if you have short arms like I do. The clitoral stimulator is thinner than many and seems a bit shorter. It’s situated quite close to the shaft and while the angle can be increased if your anatomy requires it to be further away, this may cause it to fall short. It was a bit short on myself and didn’t feel like I could “force” it to sit in the positions I like, the way I can with other rabbits.

The controls are unique but easy to use. There is a master power button and on small, red indicator light when the toy is on. The light confused me at first because it fades very slowly after turning off the vibrator. It looks like the toy is not turned off but 3-5 seconds to fade before pressing the button a million more times and wondering what’s going on. Both functions has a separate dial which are similar to the volume wheel on my personal CD player (or even on a laptop). It’s easy to use – slide up to increase speed or power and, when it stop’s, it’s on high. Sliding it the other way decreases speed/power until it stops and the function is turned off. These wheels are incredibly easy to use and have The functions can be used separately, of course.

The rotating shaft and vibration are pretty run of the mill; although I’d like to add there do appear to be ball bearing type beads toward the bottom half of the shaft. I can feel them but cannot see them because of the opaque silicone. Paul and Paulina is powered by 4 AA batteries which usually is a good indication of power but I found that just wasn’t the case here. For starters, the bullet inside the clitoral stimulator is pretty small and emits a high pitched vibration and, no matter what position the wheel is in, it seems like there is only one setting. In my opinion, it’s totally useless to have any sort of setting control. The shaft rotation is also on the lackluster side.

The shaft rotates in fairly small circles and doesn’t seem to be bendable to increase that circumference of rotation. In use, I couldn’t feel the difference between the beads and rotation. I did squirt but it wasn’t as impressive as when I’ve been able to ejaculate with toys which have more powerful rotation. The control wheel for the shaft increases the rotation speed. Unfortunately, when both functions are on, the clitoral stimulator seems to lose a little power and I wouldn’t expect this to stand up to super strong muscles, either.

For 4 AAs, I expect a lot more. Layaspot runs on AAAs and this isn’t that much more powerful. Hell, for Fun Factory, I am incredibly disappointed. They are my favourite company and have created several dildos and vibrators which have left me satisfied but Paul and Paulina just does not measure up at all. I suspect it will be enough for many people and it has received positive reviews. It’s not a piece of just exactly; I just cannot help but notice how it falls apart when it comes to the details. But I do know that Fun Factory has some more contemporary rabbits coming out and I wonder if they will be an improvement over this.

1 Comment


January 18th, 2010


$15.99 from Amazon

I am a girl who loves pressure. Masturbation sessions which end with cramped fingers that can barely move are no strange in this house, sadly, and toys that are broad enough to press against my body with ease are rare. Small egg style vibes don’t have a lot of room for my fingers (so they still cramp), traditional vibes aren’t broad and it can be difficult to get quite the pressure I need from rabbits without detracting from internal stimulation. All of these reasons attracted me to Tuyo, a spherical massager which would certainly be broad enough and easy to hold (and press) for me. Mediocre reviews left me doubtful but I finally took the plunge and purchased one for myself right before Christmas.

Tuyo is packaged in a sleek black box and is actually housed inside another black storage box. The storage box is lined inside with pretty, purple satin material and the outside even seems to be lined with a similar material in black. On top, there is glued a small plaque with the Big Teaze Toys logo. The Tuyo looks elegant sitting in the cushy material when the lid is flipped open. The inside of the lid is lined in line purple as well, with the Big Teaze Toys logo printed on it in black. While the appearance is impressive, this box does take up much more room than the vibrator alone, which measures in at 5″ x 5″ x 3.5″. If space is not an issue or you want to present the Tuyo as a gift, the box is wonderful but I’m not sure if Tuyo will stay in it.

Tuyo is made of hard plastic with a silicone band wrapping around the center, both in black. The band has some give and slight texture which can help in grasping Tuyo. There are thin silver borders on either side of the silicone band and also around the button on top which could be metal or plastic. For the most part, these details do not create and crevices, except around the button (which isn’t directly pressed to the body anyway). The button sits directly on top, whereas I press the bottom 1/3 against myself. The only mark on the bottom 1/3 is a printed logo that is not discernible by touch.

At first, I struggled with the battery compartment. The top portion of the Tuyo unscrews slightly to allow you to insert 3 AAA batteries. However, there aren’t any finger indentations which would make it easier to take off. When it comes to replacing it, there are also no indicators to line up the pieces, which would be helpful. The batteries sit pretty tightly in the compartment but there is a ribbon which sits beneath them to assist in removal. Be careful of projectile batteries.

The round shape makes it incredibly easy to clean and, although it’s not waterproof, I washed it with soap and water without issue. There is no O-ring around the battery compartment but the unique cap seals well. The plastic could easily be sprayed with toy cleaner and a wipe would work as well. The silicone band does pick up a bit of lint.

It only took me about 30 seconds to realize that Tuyo is exactly what I require in terms of shape and size. It’s definitely bigger around than any toys I have with its 3″ diameter; my fingers are not long enough to wrap all the way around. However, this works really well to stimulate the entire vulva and I have plenty of room to grasp it, without squishing my fingers. It’s incredibly easy to press against myself without causing pain that other shapes can cause and, if it switches position, I needn’t worry. It’s still round on every side. I quickly found myself moving my hips against the Tuyo and orgasming.

It’s also incredibly easy to use. The button it about the size of my finger tip and makes an audible click when I turn it out. There does seem to be some slight lag after initially turning it on, however. There are 3 levels of steady vibration that are pretty diffuse; although they are centered toward the bottom of the toy. These are followed by a slow pulsation, a faster pulsation, a pulsation like a fast heartbeat, a fast-fast-fast-fast-slow pulsation and a throbbing pulsation. The settings are all really neat but I wouldn’t mind two buttons for back and forth options or even just a master power button because that’s 8 settings to cycle through and I find myself using the medium steady vibration most. The vibration is not super buzzy (it doesn’t tickle my hand), except on the highest level of steady vibration. It isn’t super deep either but, because of the awesome shape, I have to rely less on vibration to get off.

But my joy was overshadowed by something I could not ignore: the noise. Tuyo is easily the loudest toy I own. It beats for the Miracle Massager and Ideal hands down. It sounds like a fucking chainsaw. There is no way in hell I can use it if someone else were in my apartment and people outside my bedroom window or wall could probably still hear it even after I pulled the covers over myself to block some of the noise. And all on 3 AAA batteries. This is simply unacceptable.

Especially because this would become my go to vibrator (in place of Laya Spot) if only the noise were not an issue. I love the shape, the vibrations feel great (and I am usually not a fan of AAA), it’s easy to use and hold, has a solid feel and a comforting weight. It’s also versatile and could be used for body massage. It could be rolled or easily pushed across the skin, if that’s your thing. Even outside of its box, it doesn’t scream “vibrator” but.. and this is a big but, it’s so loud it’s just not practical to use.

The only thing I have left to say is this:

Big Teaze Toys, please make a Tuyo 2.0 which is quieter!