A Day at the Clinic

May 27th, 2010

I got tested the other day, for a couple of STDs. It was my first time; although, in hindsight, it shouldn’t have been. I called up the local Planned Parenthood and scheduled myself an appointment for testing and a Pap smear as my last was long overdue. PP is pretty well know; although, I’d never been to one of their clinics before. My last few paps and my HPV issues were taken care of at military hospitals and while I still have that option, I’ve let my military ID expire because of the impending divorce and I simply hate the medical setup in this city. I would rather die than have to deal with it. No exaggeration.

So I headed in to my 4 o’clock appointment, signed in and watched The People’s Court of something for over and hour while I waited. The room was small, fall and less impressive than I am used to. Even though the facility itself could have used some homey touches, everyone I talked with was incredibly friendly and professional. I went through the usual questions (are you being abused? do you check for breast lumps?) as well as some new procedures (the tech stabbed me in finger to test for iron and I peed in a cup immediately, even when they forgot I wanted testing). I guess they probably have the routine down to an art but some of the things just seemed a bit unnecessary.

When I did remind the tech that I wanted testing, nothing rude was said. No scathing glares or uncomfortable silence like I’ve read in so many other accounts.

I would have liked a proper gown, though. All I got was the flimsy paper sheet but the actual pap and chest test was over and done with soon enough that it doesn’t much matter. Interestingly enough, this is the first pap I’ve had since my G-spot awakened and I could definitely feel the speculum pressing against my G-spot and I was worried about squirting all over the nurse practitioner–but I didn’t!

It’s always frustrating when you wait over an hour for an appointment which takes less than 30 minutes but I didn’t have to wait in between the prep and actual pap, which I appreciate. My experience was ultimately unremarkable.

7 Comments

Categories: Everything Else

Couture Collection™- inspire

May 24th, 2010

Couture Collection™- inspire

Couture Collection™- inspire
$71.65 from Store.OfSexAndLove.com

Thus far, I’ve tried 4 or 5 different pieces from the Couture Collection by California Exotic Novelties and they have all been pretty weak if not somewhat attractive in design. The Inspire, however, is not pretty weak. Hell, it’s not even “pretty strong.” It is, by far, the strongest toy I own. In fact, it way well be too strong for me.

Inspire is the third wand style massager I own, after the Miracle Massager and Ideal (which I found to be less than). It’s both stronger and smaller than the Miracle Massager, a vibrator I’ve come to enjoy for its broad head and its strong vibrations. The head of the Inspire is much smaller and rounded which means I have to use the toy in a different way despite its overall genre.

Inspire is also kinda weird in that it’s an electric vibe but you can unplug the adapter from the port on the toy. Initially, I thought this meant that it’s rechargeable, but it’s not. Some people like being able to swap power sources or whatever but this is just kind of confusing to me.

Speaking of confusion, so was the control button, initially. There is a single button. One click turns it on. If you want to increase the setting, you have to press and hold it but a quick click turns off the power. I am constantly turning it off when I want more power or the opposite. It’s supposed to be a little intuitive but maybe I’m a little slow.

Anyway, I find myself really only using the lower settings because it’s hard for me to take a lot of power directly and the Inspire’s vibrations are much more pinpoint than those of the Miracle Massager. The spherical head of the Inspire has a diameter of 1.59″, definitely smaller than most wand massagers. It’s shorter, too, about 7.5″ in total length.

Another interesting aspect of the design is that the head of the Inspire massager is covered 2/3 of the way by a silicone cap. The cap offers a bit of give but the head beneath it is hard plastic. You can take this off to clean it and slip it back on when you’re done. The cap will “gap” around the head if it’s not correctly aligned, however. Just turn it until it sits smoothly. It isn’t seamless, though. Like all silicone, be careful with with silicone based lubes and prepare for lint.

The head of the Inspire is on a flexible neck. I suppose there’s a spring beneath the accordion-folded plastic (maybe silicone?) which coats the neck. It offers a nice range of flexibility; however, liquids can easily find themselves between the folds of the material and it seems a bitch to clean.

I mentioned before that I use this a little differently than the Miracle Massager because of size and shape. I find myself focusing on the left leg of my clitoral organ and move it in quick back and forth movements. I’ve done this with other toys, like the Lily, but it’s definitely easier to hold the Inspire because it has a bigger (but not huge) handle. There’s also a slightly curve to it but I’m not sure if I’d really call it ergonomic. It doesn’t seem to help or hinder my use.

I also mentioned used the Inspire on lower settings because the vibrations are so shaky, they’re almost violent on higher settings. Surprisingly, the Inspire isn’t nearly as loud as you might think. The lower settings are quiet enough to use with the door closed, maybe some white noise. You might have to make sure someone in the same house is pretty distracted with the higher settings, though.

I’m lucky enough to have my bed a few feet from the wall so the cord on the Inspire is more than adequate. It’s a bit over 8′ long, actually. The cord is thicker than those of Lelo style chargers. However, not so thick that my cats haven’t tried chewing on it. Yuck. When the Inspire is plugged in, a red light glows on the handle.

Ultimately, the inspire gave me a few good orgasms. The kind that leave you all sweaty yet you still want to get off just one more time. Or maybe that’s just me. But I don’t think it will be my go-to toy because it’s not quite my style.

4 Comments

Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Pure Sex Pheromone Spray

May 23rd, 2010

Pure Sex Pheromone Spray

Pure Sex Pheromone Spray

My first experience with pheromones was at a sex toy party at the last base we lived at. The company rep basically told us that because pheromones are registered in the nose but aren’t actually smells, we will think there is a smell and as the pheromones mix with your individual chemical makeup, that “smell” we think is there will be different for every person. So we dabbed some pheromones on our wrists and I “smelled” quite nice, thank you very much. But I forgot about the concept for a couple of years cause it wasn’t like I was lacking sex.

The idea of a his-and-hers type pheromone spray was attractive, though, as was the packaging. Pipedream did well with the black box (with silver details) contrasting with the bright blue and pink liquid. Unless you’re not very fond of hetero-normative implications, which the blue/pink dichotomy certainly suggests. Sorry. In the event that you didn’t notice the bright colours, the blue bottle has the “male” symbol and the pink has the “female” symbol.

So this narrow box houses a double-ended tube, like some lipgloss-type products. There is a magnetic flap on top, similar to Fun Factory toys that you can lift to see the product. The tubes themselves are clear glass, and the blue or pink liquid really looks awesome and kind of.. chemistry-ish. The silver band in the middle is the cap for both little spray bottles; you pull one off to use it. This means that you can’t separate the pair and still cap them both. It’s kind of a minor annoyance but something I couldn’t help but notice.

Spray bottles are pretty easy to use, right? So spray onto your pulse points (neck, wrists and some other place I forget) and let the product go to work. Except, it kind of smells like gross chemicals when you initially spray it. It fades, and then you cannot smell anything at all. I’d almost rather smell like chemicals, so I know it’s there.

Regardless, Pure Sex Pheromone Spray just doesn’t seem to work in practice. Only one time out of five or so seemed to elicit any response, and I’m willing to bet it was because I’m dead sexy or, at the very least, the circumstances surrounding it. That’s not a very impressive track record.

Honestly, I think it would help if this produced any sort of scent at all so it would have the “I’m so naughty, I’m wearing pheromones” thing going for it. I know products like these sometimes seem to work simply because of the power suggestion but Pure Sex Pheromone Spray didn’t even offer me that.

Much to-do about nothing, I suppose. I recommend you buy a nice perfume or cologne, instead.

Comment

Categories: Non-Sex Toys, Reviews

AdultSexToy’s Shopping Spree Giveaway

May 23rd, 2010

Another shopping spree giveaway, you might ask? Yes, indeed. I have recently begun to work with AdultSexToys and they always seem to be rolling out contests and giveaways. This one ends on May 31 (my birthday!) and bloggers can participate by creating wishlists (up to $300) on their site which link back to AdultSexToys.

Honestly, I started typing up this post but couldn’t even come close to $300 worth of stuff I want. Thanks to awesome retailers like AdultSexToys and gift cards I’ve won or earned and Toy Swap Network, I don’t really want anything anymore. Shocking, I know! But Nicole from AdultSexToys let me know that I could offer this up as a giveaway for my readers.

So, what if I offered the chance to win up to $300 worth of sex toys to you, my visitors? Yea, I’m fucking awesome, I know.

So the deal is, if I win, I will hold some sort of giveaway and some person or persons will walk away with something awesome. But I don’t know how I’d spread the wealth so I’d love your ideas. One winner? Multiple? Let you pick your prize? Let me pick it especially for you? Or maybe I could just pick toys I’ve loved?

Leave your thoughts in the comments!

1 Comment

Categories: internet

You know the joke..

May 22nd, 2010

I am getting over my period, for the third time in three months. Most women between the ages of 13 and 60 or so wouldn’t think twice about this but since getting my IUD, I haven’t consistently gotten my period for years. It was a bit surprising to get it 2 months in a row but the third? Wow!

I’m a little annoyed. I mean, it’s natural and healthy but it’s annoying and I feel like I’m losing time. I’d rather not be crampy or bleeding or ruining panties or too uncomfortable to masturbate.

It also reminds me that I don’t have a family and my biological clock has been ticking, oddly enough, for the last 3 months or so. Truth be told, I’m not sure if it’s because my brain is sending out some sort of hormone.. or if maybe the growing up I’ve been forced to do and my desire for a greater purpose in life (IE, a family) has awakened my biological clock.

But while my period only lasts one week a month, this ticking shows no signs of abating.

2 Comments

Categories: Everything Else

Bunny Tickler

May 17th, 2010

Bunny Tickler Vibrator

Bunny Tickler Vibrator
N/A from SheVibe

I was sort of surprised that the Bunny Tickler got me off at all. I mean, it’s so small (about the size of a pocket rocket but thinner). It’s only one speed and I don’t traditionally fair well with toys made of little shapes. When I use regular rabbit vibes, it’s always the body of the rabbit/bullet that I try to get against my clit, instead of the ears. But the Bunny Tickler is cute, like all the bright coloured vibes in the Tickler Line, and I thought it might work for G-spot stimulation cause mine is so shallow and easily stimulated.

Let’s get that out of the way. The ears on the Bunny Tickler can reach my G-spot (they’re about an inch long or so) but do not provide firm enough pressure to do much of anything. However, the silicone of this vibe–which isn’t quite shiny nor velvety–offers some firmness so it doesn’t flutter freely like jelly rabbits. I imagine many people would pick this specific vibe because they want that feature but they would be out of luck.

Still, you can separate the ears enough to surround your clit and this is an interesting sensation. It’s not how I got off, however. I found myself using the top of the bunny’s nose more because I like broader surfaces. Sometimes the ears simply wound up in the way and, for whatever reason, I had a hard time telling exactly where they were situated, too, but maybe I’m just not super sensitive.

And I did get off, more than once, with the Bunny Tickler, once I found a good spot. I used it in a similar manner to how I used Lelo’s Lily, except the Tickler is easier on my hand because it has a short handle. But I probably wouldn’t reach for the Bunny Tickler over most other toys.

That’s because I have a lot of clitoral vibes which have adjustable settings. The Bunny Tickler, which is powered by 1 N battery (which is included), only has one setting. It’s more high pitched than it is rumbly; although it’s not ridiculously weak. However, it’s extremely easy for the initial tingle of the vibrator to fade, leaving my body wondering “What’s next?”

The Bunny Tickler is easy to use, if not a bit fickler. There’s a single push button on the end. It’s not too hard nor too difficult to push. I have noticed that the battery cap, which screws on, needs to be at exactly the precise position for the Bunny Tickler to work, though. That’s a tad annoying.

But once it’s screwed on, the cap is secure and you can take this rabbit into the shower or tub, with you. I’m not a big bath-time-masturbater but I appreciate toys which are as least splash proof for cleaning. Because the Bunny Tickler is small and, coincidentally, pretty quiet (a light buzz), it might be something you could use in the shower, if you share an apartment. Although, you may not have great luck with water based lube in the shower. I’d also like the add, the specific type of silicone used in the Bunny Tickler doesn’t seem to collect as much lint as usual.

I guess this is a short post for a short toy. d= The Bunny Tickler is cute and functional, although not ground breaking of multi-function. It’s probably good for beginners or those who don’t need something super powerful. Some folks will find it does nothing more than.. tickle.

1 Comment

Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

No, You Don’t

May 17th, 2010

(or: Yes, You can)

Carrie Ann wrote an interesting post on her blog about how reviewers feel a sense of entitlement. Ignoring the fact that everyone feels entitlement in every aspect of life, I agree with some of her points. A little bit of patience and letting things slide goes a long way in our reviewer-retailer relationships (and our personal relationships, too!). Bitching about every little thing has never done me good. These days, I find myself being a more patient person in many areas of my life.

What’s more, I understand that the service offered to me by retailers and manufacturers is simply that, a service offered to me. They don’t have to do it (and some stores haven’t taken me on as a reviewer), and I appreciate it. I am always grateful to get toys and recognition for my reviews but I know these relationships are business relationships.

The bottom line is, these are businesses and they can do what they want. They can ignore my e-mails or any feedback I give. They can be snotty. They can send me good toys or crap toys or no toys at all. They can choose not to work with me. They can choose to be friendly and understanding or they can harass me and delay shipping or jump up and down on my boxes before handing them off to the mailman. They can terminate or suspend our relationships at any point. They can ban my account from their website. Hell, they could even ask me to not post a review, I suppose, if they weren’t happy with the way I write it.

They can do these things.

They don’t have to do anything I want them to do. They don’t even have to be courteous. But it’s good practice to do so anyway (dare I say “should?). You know the old saying “Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.” And it’s true. Just because you can do things without explaining to your community or customers, doesn’t mean you should. Just because you can rule with an iron fist doesn’t mean you’ll have a kingdom worth ruling. Just because you can outsource your tech support to India, does not mean you should (I MEAN IT!)

No retailer owes me anything but it’s just plain stupid to expect that someone who critiques products on the internet isn’t going to speak up when services, policies, interactions or other experiences can use a little critiquing. Which is exactly why extending common courtesy to your reviewers is a good idea. I can post my thoughts on my website and publish it for the world to see. Short of legal action, you can’t stop me.

It doesn’t mean I will, especially if you have made it clear that you’re not an all-powerful being without fault. Maybe you’re just a business made up of imperfect humans like myself (not that I am several people). Give a little, get a little back, right? I’m much more likely to be understanding if the folks I work with have shown me the same understanding in the past. That can be the difference between me taking a positive spin on a “crisis” or calling for your company to be damned.

And I’m sure it’s a fine line to walk. You’ve got to look out for your bottom line but you don’t want to alienate the people who have the power to help that bottom line. You want to protect the community but not everyone in the community wants protecting or agrees about how you should go about it.

But if you don’t find yourself at least trying to walk that line, you might find yourself in an even more uncomfortable situation. Like it or not, the things you “don’t have to do,” are the very same things that people are looking for. I know; it’s the reason I’m getting divorced.

6 Comments

Categories: Everything Else, internet

Image © MisterUnlucky; used with permission.