Sex Blogging in 2013

December 30th, 2013

…aka the post in which I use a lot of italics.

It’s not that I am ungrateful. It’s just that it’s taken me almost two months to see the 2013 top sex bloggers list. I didn’t expect to make it on this year and, to be honest, I’ve dropped quite a bit from my top place (18 last year, maybe?) but I’m glad any of you nominated me at all.

Thank you.

2013 has been such a very strange year for me. I have definitely posted less frequently. I spend more time on Tumblr, browsing for stuff related to sex that isn’t porn (this is not an easy task). I tried to highlight the stuff I was finding on Tumblr, but fell out of interest. Now, you’ll find my Tumblr contains a lot of stuff about current sex toy sales and lots of reblogs of feminist posts and sex toy collection photos.

While reviews and advice have become less frequent, I’ve added more personal posts. I am hesitant to do this because it just feels like everyone else is as a different point in there life. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I feel like someone who’s had a sex blog for 5 years shouldn’t be casually dating people and having sex only once every few months.

In reality, 2013 has been a huge year for me personally. I had sex since the first time since my divorce, and I realized that I could be one of those casual sex havin’ folks. However, I didn’t want to continue that relationship in any way, so I ended it and we no longer speak. But I was struck with just how easy it was to fuck someone else. Man, that shit seems terrifying in my head. Who knew?

In the attempt to have more sex, I got back into contact with a friend with whom I hadn’t been speaking because I figured, more or less, that he’d be an easy lay. We wound up having really good sex and developing feelings. If I’m being honest, I fell in love with him. I am in love with him. But he hasn’t commitment issues and we had bad timing or something, and now we casually have sex sometimes while I try not to hope that it could be something. The sex is still amazing.

And it’s led me to think that I could be quite more submissive than I thought I was. It’s also led me to realize that I maybe want sex more than I want a relationship, and I could be okay with this arrangement for a while. Because fucking him makes me feel more like me than I have in quite some time.

Despite this, I still don’t really have a category for personal stuff. I should really make one. I’ve struggled with the identity of this blog, and I haven’t received nearly as much feedback as I’d like for this to be as satisfying as it once was. However, that could be the state of the Internet and the fact that I’m not marketing myself as a 2-bit educator or a snarky bitch. I’m just me.

But I did receive some feedback from someone that I really appreciate. She liked reading the personal posts that have become more common. She thought  that was where my strength lies. So while I am going to continue write reviews, I want to expand personal posts without thinking about what it means to you. Because if it means something to me, the readers will see.

And I want to simply focus on connecting more with you guys. That’s something I talked about in my anniversary post. I just finished a round of blog commenting today. So, hello!, if that’s how you got here. I’ve tried to sign on Twitter more, to reply to emails, to be friendlier, to comment and to discover new blogs. I don’t know if it’s working or even if I know how to tell, but I feel better.

I also had my first bacterial infection, I tried my first stone dildo. I’ve had a few toys that I absolutely love. A lot were forgettable. I went to my last sex toy party. Ever.

So back to blogging. I made this list:

And it’s been interesting to see the list evolve over the years. There are few sex toy reviewers on it. Perhaps that’s because our numbers dwindle every year, or maybe it’s because people are sick of reviews. The first sex toy reviewer, The Sin Doll, is in the 30s. Interesting.

There’s a lot more sex educators on the list. The same goes for things like comics and erotica writers. It’s all very interesting. I love to see how legitimate sex education and work has become, and I think this list is evidence of that.

I’m glad to be on it no matter how I may contribute.

Thank you for nominating me. Thanks to Rori for including me.

Here’s to another year!

6 Comments

Categories: Everything Else, internet

Ceramix Pleasure Pottery Dildo No. 4

December 28th, 2013

Ceramix Pleasure Pottery Dildo No. 4
$14.95 from Amazon

I have to get this review written tonight because I will soon be writing my annual “Best of” list, and this dildo will absolutely be on it.

So, here’s the thing. I really like the look of the Ceramix line. It’s all bright colors and fun shapes. Kind of Dr. Seuss. A good friend said it reminded her of Wonderland. Either way, it’s got this whimsical air. Love it. Apparently, I am not alone. My Pipedream rep said they were having trouble keeping these in stock. Fortunately, the good folk over at PinkCherry were able to send one over.

Now, the only other ceramic toy I’ve used was a vibrator, so it had a bit more wait than this dildo. The dildo is hollow and it just feels so light. It’s like the Krispy Kreme donut of dildos. Almost more air than anything else. Yes, it’s also delicious. I will get there.

There polka dots on the #4 are slightly raised. I can feel them with my hand. I don’t think this adds any vaginal sensation. It’s slick overall and, as you can see from the photos, there are definitely some light bulges.

So this is a hollowed out dildo and there’s a hole at the bottom that’s plugged with stopper. It’s removable so that you can put warm or cold water in it for temperature. At first, I thought this was a gimmick.

I was fucking wrong.

However, it is annoying. It’s in there really well. I couldn’t pry it out with my fingers or nails. I had to grab a pair of tweezers. It needs to be secure so that water doesn’t get all over your bed, but it’s so secure that you definitely need to plan on playtime with this dildo. It’s not a spur-of-the-moment thing.

So once I got it removed, I did will it with warm water. Of course, this adds to the weight a bit, but it’s nothing like metal. In fact, I rather disliked the weight of the Pure Wand. I also disliked how hot it got after usage. I generally prefer the feel of something cool against my labia, that warms up only slightly. I love glass.

But the way that the ceramic warms from the inside out with this method has won me over. The heat reminds me of sex with a real, live cock. Of course. the rigidity is all wrong, but is just feels awesome, not foreign. This alone made me really enjoy the feeling of this dildo. Instead of using it to squirt or thrust, I simply enjoyed the way it felt while inserted and using another vibe on my clit. I don’t think it would have mattered which vibrator I was using externally because cumming around this dildo — three times — felt amazing.

The size didn’t matter but for posterity, it has a slightly curved head and a base that makes it safe for anal. You can insert 6 inches, and this is a medium-size dildo with a maximum diameter of 1.5″.

It’s been a long time since I’ve fallen in love with a sex toy like this. I absolutely recommend that you try something in this line if not the Pleasure Pottery Dildo No. 4. There are vibrators and plugs, each with their own stunning design.

6 Comments

Categories: Dildos, Reviews

There’s Nothing True About True Love

December 24th, 2013

A while back I had signed into Facebook and an image popped up in my feed. I wish I had saved it, but I didn’t. It annoyed me but I figured that I would forget about it. I didn’t.

The image said something along the lines of

Ladies, just because he makes you feel that way doesn’t mean that he’s the one.

I take issue with this for so many fucking reasons.

I do not believe in true love, but the idea of true love is based on the belief that out of 7 billion other people on this planet, one of them is right for you. Perfectly so. No one else is. This true love complements you in every way. No one else can. If there is only one, true love, then it stands to assume that only one person should be able to do and say the things that make you feel love in that special way. If other people can do that, how can anyone believe in the concept of “the one.” There obviously is more than one when that’s the case.

You cannot have it both ways. These ideas do not go hand in hand. In fact, they are mutually exclusive. If there is only one true love and you’re supposed to know it, to feel it in the pit of your stomach and the marrow of your bones, then anything that confuses you or masquerades as true love only discredits the idea.

Finally, I am offended as a woman and a feminist. It’s not just that the text assumes this oxymoron is true, it assumes that women, somehow, are not able to realize that this is a fact. It’s targeted as women giving some sort of impression that it’s not okay for us to make what other people are poor choices in relationships. Of course, the same behavior in men is perfectly acceptable. It’s the same old double standard. A man sleeps with tons of women that he meets on adult dating website UpForIt, even if those women are poor choices for whatever reason, it’s okay. Boys will be boys. But women? No, we’re not allowed to make mistakes, even if those  actions are only what others consider to be mistakes.

What’s wrong with spending time with someone who makes you feel good temporarily just because you’re a woman? Can we not be adults who make our own decisions? Why is this anyone else’s business?

Not only does this assume that true love is real, it assume that this is can be our one and only goal. No thank you, silly meme creators of Tumblr and Facebook. You do not know my wants. You cannot possibly imagine the vastness that is the human experience or the complexity of emotions and desires.

I know it’s a silly thing to be so frustrated with, but the very premise just rubbed me the wrong way.

 

4 Comments

Categories: Everything Else

Revel Body Attachments

December 22nd, 2013

This is an archive post. SheVibe no longers sells the Revel Body or attachments.

revel body attachments

I received my Revel Sonic with all the available attachments to try out. My original review wasn’t so positive, and the attachments really haven’t changed my mind. In fact, these silicone attachments may only have made me more frustrated. If this toy has been nicknamed the “shit orb,” I think it’s only fair to call these attachments dingleberries. Sorry, folks.

SheVibe sells all the extra attachments in a bundle. You can also purchase them separately if you only want one or two. It’s more economical to buy the whole batch, but I don’t think you’ll want to as you’ll see despite the fact that they’re all made of body-safe silicone and can act as impromptu refrigerator magnets.

The four attachments that you can purchase — separately — from the base vibrator are the

  • Cona
  • Ever
  • Fawn
  • Niko

Yes, the names are silly. No, they don’t really describe the nature of the attachments in a useful way. Yes, they all come in boxes that are nearly the size of the Revel Sonic. No, I don’t really think this is awesome.

Niko is something like a nipple in design. It seems the closest to the rounded attachment that comes with the Revel Body originally. Fawn is a soft silicone brush. I don’t understand attachments like this to begin with. I’m not vibrating my pubes, am I?

Ever is a strange concave tip with several rings inside of one another. I know that there’s a name for this. I cannot remember this. I can’t figure out why anyone thought this was a good design move, either. Finally, Cona is a tip that you can fit something into. It has soft sides and a round opening. A nipple fits. No, it doesn’t feel good. It feels abrasive and uncomfortable. Get it the fuck away from me.

All of them are on magnetic shafts and fit into the core of the Revel Sonic. The magnetism is super strong. This is pretty cool, but it’s not going to get me off. In fact, the only way that the Revel Sonic has been able to get me off is when I used it, turned off, with attachments removed to simply get pleasure from the spherical shape.

The problem is that if the Revel Body doesn’t work for you, it’s not because of the attachments. Switching to something that supposedly feels like suction isn’t going to help. If you aren’t stimulated enough my holding the Revel Body a precise amount of space away from your boy, if you need pressure or direct contact, you’re simply SOL.

But it’s more than that. The design of the Revel Body means you can’t really press it against your body. Your clit, your nipples or your wherever aren’t really going to be able to tell the difference with so little surface contact.

Maybe you could like these attachments if the Revel Sonic works for you and you don’t mind the giant learning curve. However, I’m not sure I’d recommend shelling over $50 for this set. Spend $19 on a single attachment to see if it makes a difference to you.

1 Comment

Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

The way that I masturbate

December 16th, 2013

I was recently reading Epiphora’s review of the Magic Wand, in which she examines the way that Vibratex is re-packaging the old favorite and how she has come to prefer the Hitachi.. at the right time. According to her, “the secret to the Hitachi is knowing when and how to use the Hitachi.” Epiphora’s review includes a list of when to use the Hitachi over other sex toys. The first four items on the list describe my masturbation style. Every. single. time.

  • you’re wearing underwear and don’t want to remove it
  • you’re wearing pants and don’t want to remove those
  • you don’t want to have to clean something
  • you don’t want to fuck around and would please like an orgasm in <2 minutes, thank you

Honestly, it wouldn’t occur to me that people masturbate in another way. I know they do. I’ve read the reviews. I just don’t get it. For me, masturbation is almost utilitarian. I do it to get off, not necessarily to feel good. It’s not that those two things are mutually exclusive but, for me, they’re not mutually inclusive.

I masturbate to get off. The sooner the better. If the orgasm doesn’t come easily, I’m almost frustrated by it. When it does come, I typically keep going to see how many I can get. I stop when I get bored.

Certainly, it might be more fun to reach for a Vixen dildo. But If I’m going to use a toy at all, it’s frequently a clitoral stimulator like Siri or Layaspot. I really have to put a lot of thought into a masturbation session if I’m going to use an insertable. This is why it takes so long for me to get around to reviews.

Now that it’s freezing — haha, no it’s not. It’s -8 — and the very idea of taking off my clothes and climbing into my frigid bed to masturbate? I don’t think so. We’re experiencing an especially cold winter, though. I don’t normally stop masturbating for six months out of the year.

But even when I have the option, I’ll probably opp to rub myself through my panties and pants. I don’t want to have to break out the lube or wash anything after. It’s about pressure not precision. I could certainly use something to apply that pressure — the Revel Body actually works better to get me off when it’s not even on because of this — but I usually don’t.

Perhaps if I kept more toys in the living room, within reach of the couch, I’ll use them more frequently. I can certainly stuff them in my hollow pillows. I could keep the Miracle Massager plugged in and ready to use at any time.

It does seem a little bit like a shame to own all these awesome sex toys and not do anything with them. And perhaps that’s why I’ve been in such a reviewing rut (and why I tend to find myself spending less time on sites like SexToys247 looking at new toys) . I truly don’t need more than one toy that does anything. I’m happy with one internal vibe, one clitoral vibe, one awesome dildo, one super-strong wand, et cetera.

Variety, it seems, is not the spice of my sex life.

6 Comments

Categories: Everything Else

Scandal Control Cuffs

December 15th, 2013

Scandal Control Cuffs

Scandal Control Cuffs
$18.13 from Of Sex and Love Store

I have got to hand it to California Exotics — wow! Who ever would have thought I’d use that sentence? When it comes to the entire Scandal line, the design is quite attractive. If I hadn’t already started a purple bondage theme, I’d seriously consider getting everything in this line. It’s got that sort of boudoir feel to it.

These cuffs have a red and black damask style exterior. It’s classy. It’s sexy. I like it.

The interior is a plush velvet type material. It’s classy. It’s sexy. It’s comfortable, too. I like it.

I suppose you could wipe clean any spots with a damp cloth. Blood might be an issue so be careful when playing.

The cuffs themselves are connect by a length of nylon. Think backpacks. You can adjust the length, and the box described it as a “handle.” Sure, you can grasp it, but to call it a handle seems a little like a stretch.

The cuffs themselves secure with velcro. This could potentially be a problem if the bound person pulls her wrists or ankles apart with enough force. People with long hands can also often grasp velcro straps with their fingers to undo their binds. This was my main complaint with the cuffs that come with the Under the Bed system.

The major downfall with these cuffs is that they only attach to the other cuff with the plastic buckle. It’s good for leverage during sex, but it’s not versatile enough that you’ll use them with other restraints. The Scandal line does intclude it’s own bed restraints, hog tie set and universal cuffs, but it would be nice if more of the items were more versatile.

Although the package suggests these as ankle cuffs, they’ll work just as well on wrists. The cuffs are 2.5″ wide and 11 inches long. You can adjust the circumference so that it’s a few inches narrower or wider. These probably won’t work well if you have especially wide ankles.

The handle adjusts to just under 3 inches, and stretches to 9 inches long. It’s long enough to grasp with one or both hands.

Overall, I like these cuffs. I’d prefer them to be more versatile, like I mentioned.

CEN Sexpert

3 Comments

Categories: BDSM, Reviews

Hitachi: Making the holidays magical

December 11th, 2013

Thanks for the guest post Sam!

I’ve been using vibrators for years. Small ones, large ones, silicone, glass, hard, soft, vibrating, pulsating, thrusting – anything you can think of, really. However I was quite late to the whole hitachi revolution. Are they really that much better than a standard vibrator? Yes – they’re bigger, but as most women know, bigger does not always necessarily mean better.

Originally conceived as a ‘sports massager’, a savvy few women soon started to realise that the powerful pulsations of the hitachi wand would make for a perfect vibrator.

Review

There are plenty of wand reviews online, however for me the orgasm given from a hitchi is a largely different sensation than other vibrator orgasms I am used to – the size of the vibrating surface means that the pulsations tend to be slower and deeper, resulting in a ‘wave-like’ orgasm, something quite different to the short, sharp, intense climax that can often by given using other, smaller toys with a more concentrated vibrations.

I found climax easy to achieve using this toy and the wide service can give both a clitoral and opening orgasm – though remember, this is not a toy to be inserted!

Another additional benefit of a hitachi wand is that comparatively to many other toys, they are very quiet (again being larger, the buzz is much softer). However – this brings me on to me one and only is of the wand – they are very large and can be quite bulky – it’s not a toy that works especially well, from my experience, for couple’s fun. Varying positions can be difficult to achieve due to the size and of course – it can look incredibly intimidating to whip out for your partner!

Overall – a wand is an excellent addition to any girls sex toy ammunition, perfect enjoyed alone ;).

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Categories: Everything Else

Image © MisterUnlucky; used with permission.