This post has been in the works for a while. I kept getting distracted, which is kind of funny, because that’s something you shouldn’t do during sex. I guess it’s okay for bloggers to be weird. At best, I can make you uncomfortable and you’ll leave. On the other hand, you can’t sneak out unnoticed when you’re in the middle of sex and your partner does one of these things.
- Announce Orgasm
As soon as I mentioned this one to a friend, she laughed because we — that’s us women — have all been there. So many men have to announce “I’m cumming” right before they do. Do they think maybe we won’t notice? Or they should get a cookie? I don’t know, man. I already spread my legs. What more do you want? - Work on the To-Do List
Okay, this isn’t weird per se, unless you’re one of those people who always gets into sex 100%. It’s actually pretty common for men and women to think about what needs to get fixed, cleaned, bought and otherwise done in the coming days and weeks while in the middle of sex. Two birds, one stone, right? - Count the Squares/Dots on the Ceiling
I’ve never done this, thank God. I’ve always tried to at least enjoy having sex or to make it known that now isn’t the right time, but some people would rather have sex so their partners stop asking or some other reason. They grin and bear it. They count out invisible things or focus on the ceiling above them, memorizing tiles, spots, cracks and other “features.” I would never want to waste my time doing this, so it’s weird to me. - Talk on the Phone
Bitch, pay attention to the person who has his penis inside you or the dude who’s got your dick in his mouth. It’s common fucking courtesy. If you’re talking, texting or playing God damned angry birds, you can’t really be wanting sex at that moment. Do everyone in the room a favor and say “No” if you mean no. There will be other times to have sex. I promise. However, there are exceptions. If you’re foolin’ around just a little bit and get a phone call only to have your fiance start fucking you while on the phone to see if you can keep a straight, er, face, it’s pretty funny. Still weird, though. - Give a Play By Play
You know what? If you’re going to announce everything you’re doing in bed, I’d rather you talk on the phone. It’s bad enough if you tell me you’re going to orgasm, but that shouldn’t be a followup to every other thing you’ve done that night. Otherwise, I’m going to say “Growing annoyed with you now.”
So, what’s the weirdest thing you’ve done during sex? Guilty of anything on this list? Have you had a partner who’s done something that makes these things all look paltry? Sound off in the comments.
I actually like when my partner announces that he’s coming, I think it’s kind of sexy. Maybe I’ve been exposed to too much porn? 😉
The first item on the list is actually a good thing to me. I’ll say when I’m about to come, and I like when my partner does, too. I let them know so that they can keep doing what they’re doing (I might say something to that effect, too), and I like knowing if they’re about to come so if any changes need to happen, they can. For instance, sometimes I’ll want a guy to come on my breasts, so if I’m sucking him off, I can get in position once he says he’s close/coming. But even if it’s not practical, I like hearing that my partner’s going to come. It’s an intimate thing for me.
The middle three things are definitely bad / turn offs. That last one could go either way. I like words, so I might like a play-by-play, depending on how it’s done. I’ll definitely tell a partner if I like how they sound, taste, feel, etc. and I like to hear that kind of thing, too.
I think we define the play-by-play differently. I literally mean:
I’m going to enter you now
I am fucking you now
I am touching you here
Telling someone how they feel isn’t a play-by-play, really.
Ahh, I get ya. I guess I was thinking more like:
You’re so wet.
I’m so far inside you.
Your examples would be turn-offs, yah.
I’m with Kyra – hearing a lover say, “I’m coming” is a huge turn on for me….
~EA
Seriously honestly havent done most of those things however I DO think its sexy when my husband talks dirty talk during sex and he likes when I do too. Neither of us announce cumming but I wouldnt care if he did.
This is pretty funny. I think guys really enjoy it when they hear that we are cumming.
This was a long time ago but I was hot and heavy with one of my lady friends and She called my her dad by name, now that was real creepy….not sure what that meant….but I made that our last night together….I have been called different names before and that is bad enough but daddy….that is just weird….
Yes, I agree with some of the comments. I like it when he tells me he is cumming, or about to cum.
I also like for him to tell me things in spanish while we have sex. I have no idea what he is saying, but his voice is really sexy. It is weird, and he sometimes jokes he is talking about doing the laundry or how much he hates his job. I seriously doubt that though. Or I guess it doesn’t matter as long as he makes it sound sexy. That is weird but who cares.
I couldn’t even imagine someone using their damn phone during sex…… seriously wtf? I would grab their phone and break it and break up with them… have we grown into a world where its okay to even consider being on your phone during intimate times…. or use your phone while interacting with another human being??
We’ve gotten to a point where people don’t think like this