Adventures in Craigslist Ads

March 8th, 2011

Unless you guessed that I put up an ad on the local Craigslist, searching for (male) sexting partners.

Then you win a gold star. If you, somehow guessed that, then you may not be surprised to learn that I received a dozen replies in less than a day and many of them were laughable. Lucky for you, I plan on sharing.

The first guy tried..

*runs fingers up her sides under her shirt with the lightest drag of nails as I lean in to steal a deep, long kiss*

I’d love to chat some more…

At least, his use of punctuation was more attractive than this guy:

i hope this catches your eye feeling those moist tender pink lips gently rubbing them touching your clit rubbing it then bringing my tongue down and tasting that sweet hot lips licking them sticking my tongue deep inside yum

This one (from a woman?) is probably spam:

Hi!!

How are you doing to day?

Hope to hear from you..

Thanks

Cheyenne

This sounds like a whole can of worms I do not want to open:

Hi, I saw your ad and I would be interested in being your flirt and sexting friend if you’re interested. I’m 28 6’4 and 270 lbs, also around 6 1/2. I’m pretty open and creative sexually. I’m a closet bisexual however mostly just stick to women due to fear of getting caught. I love eating pussy and well licking everywhere fun..

Some lazy typing to be seen from this guy:

Hey hun. I would slowly rub u down with some massage oil from ur neck to ur toes. Kisss u softly on the neck. And the rest would be a suprise!

Some guys have more confidence than others:

I have to warn you that I have seduced through texting. I accidentally texted the wrong number once and ended up meeting her in California for a good time.

While others make big promises:

I will lick your pussy until you are writhing in ecstasy.

Some have typical fantasies:

I would like to have you in a bikini doing you and cum on you.

This one actually confused me at first:

hey there sexy. couldnt stop looking at ur nice rack poping out of that lovely shirt. you wanna come back to my place so i can rip that shirt off of you and fuck the shit out of them.

And at least two fellas completely forgot their numbers (one did send another response, however).

Who do you vote gets my number?


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