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Move It Or Lose It
November 4th, 2009
Last night, I was lying in bed, and I was paging through sexual fantasies in my head, expanding some of them more than they have been expended before, and I found I was horny. I want sex but my husband has already been asleep for several hours. I ponder making a move but I don’t know what move I want to make. I don’t just want to make him up and say “Hey, want sex?” but I also don’t know what will wake him up and send the right message. So I toss and turn for a few hours until I cannot possibly stay away and longer and fall into a fitful sleep.
In a similar position, what is your foolproof move? Or, assuming you’re asleep and open to your partner making an advance, how would you like it done?
5 Comments
Best buy dolphin
November 3rd, 2009
Best Buy Dolphin
N/A
from
This is an archived review of a discontinued product.
No, this isn’t a vibrator that I bought at Best Buy, although some part of me simultaneously giggles and cringes at that idea. It’s CEN’s take on an affordable rabbit vibrator that is great for those looking into rabbits for the first time and also perhaps for folks who sometimes become overwhelmed by all the options rabbits can have. It’s not luxury, nor is it meant to be. It is simply.. the Best Buy Dolphin.
Sometimes I am overwhelmed by the sheer number of things a vibrator can do. This was the case with Evolved’s Lunar Rabbit, which has hundreds of possible combinations, but it ultimately didn’t do anything of them perfectly. In my opinion, when a toy does a few things really well, it beats a toy that does many in a mediocre fashion – hands down. That is what the Best Buy dolphin aims to do, which makes it perfect for any rabbit newbies or anyone who is just plain sick of a million settings, none of which quite hit the spot. As usual, there are a couple glitches with that ambition.
There are only 4 buttons on this toy. One to turn on/off each of the functions and the other to adjust. For the rotating shaft and beads, this reverses the direction. For the vibrating dolphin clit stimulator, this changes from low to high and back. There are a few combinations, but it remains newbie-friendly. Of course, there are no pulsation or rollercoaster-type settings, either, so if your clit likes something a bit more exciting than steady vibes, look away. Per usual, the beads and rotating shaft work together and I would love to find a rabbit where the beads could be operated separately.
I was surprised at how well the rotation works. I think this is because the 4 rows of plastic beads rotate pretty fast, but this also makes a whining sound. Most rabbits freeze up under any sort of duress, but the beads actually hurt me when I clenched, and I had to ease up. On the one hand, they work pretty damned well; on the other hand, many people (including myself) tend to clench during orgasm so this can actually be a con.
In terms of vibration strength, I was unimpressed. The high is more like a medium and most vibrators and I usually don’t use the medium on most rabbit vibes. Neither setting did anything more than tingle. Furthermore, the dolphin-shaped clit stim just didn’t work for me. I found it to be a little short; only his pointy nose made contact and it actually hurt a bit.
I’m not surprised the vibrations were lackluster. The bullet seems to be quite small; although there is quite a bit of TPE material around it so the bullet looks larger. Furthermore, this is only powered by AAA batteries but is pretty quiet. Granted, it uses 4 of them but my experience is that I usually need at least 2AAs. The battery pack is also a little strange. It pulls straight out and pops back in, but there’s a screw that attaches the battery cap to the casing, which makes it seem like you might need to unscrew it. You don’t, it’s just misleading. Also, make sure it’s secure. It will turn on even if it’s not only to have the batteries fall right out.
As I mentioned, the shaft and clit stim of the Best Buy Dolphin are covered in a soft, blue TPE which is translucent. It’s very flexible and thin. I can actually pinch some off the shaft. I wouldn’t mind thicker material around the beads and thinner material on the clit stim to make it more comfortable. The shaft had water and wavelike textures while it also has 4 equidistant ridges (and is thinner than the shaft), but none of those textures are really effective.
TPE is both silicone and water-based lube compatible, and you’ll want to use it, not because the Best Buy Dolphin is huge (it’s respectably girthy at 1.75″ diameter at its widest) but because the TPE is so sticky, and this can cause friction without proper lubrication. I found the 5 insertable inches and girth to be pretty adequate myself. It also collects a lot of lint and dust, so popping on a condom isn’t a horrible idea to make the whole thing a little cleaner (plus it’s somewhat porous).
When it comes to cleaning off that lint and whatever fluids may have collected, soap and water should do the trick. However, I’d be reluctant to submerge this vibrator completely (whether playing or cleaning) even though it’s supposed to be waterproof, especially considering that the battery cap can pop off if it’s not secure. The cap just doesn’t seem as watertight as others California Exotics styles.
The Best Buy Dolphin is a pretty good option for those who are just getting into rabbits, but it isn’t anything amazing. The clitoral stimulator definitely needs more power and its shape was just no match for me. Although the beads rotated enough for me to squirt, no part of this toy was going to make me orgasm. For less than $30, you could do worse.
1 Comment
Pure Wand
October 30th, 2009
I don’t mind being the dissenting voice. After all, I’m picky, and I disagree about just about everything on a frequent basis. What I don’t like, however, is having to write a less-than-glowing review of a toy I tried really hard to like, a toy that has high scores across the board. Yet here I go.
The Pure Wand by Njoy does have many positive qualities. It’s made of nonporous stainless steel, which makes it very hygienic, and its sleek surface that is free of any imperfections or seams (Njoy is painted on but can only be felt with a finger, not internally) makes penetration and cleaning a breeze. You can safely boil, bleach or clean in the dishwasher (which I did) and a little hot or cool water adds the intrigue of temperature play.
In fact, when it comes to presentation, Njoy has got it down. The toy comes in a black storage box that opens (via hinge) to model the Pure Wand on pink satin. The fabric lies over a styrofoam “platform” and the Pure Wand nestles into it nicely. The curved wand, with its bulbous ends, looks gorgeous. This also makes for practical storage. Plus, the Pure Wand comes with stickers! Even by itself, the Pure Wand looks like a modern art piece. The details are amazing.
Measuring in at 8″ – from tip to tip – of solid stainless steel, this is no child’s toy. As you might expect, it’s got some heft which adds to the presentation of quality. It weighs in at 1.5 pounds. I suspect if my husband realized how much this dildo weighs, he wouldn’t need to keep a knife by the bedside. It’s a formidable weapon! That’s not its intended purpose, however.
The Pure Wand is meant to be a G or P spot dildo and is designed with a generous curve with two bulbous ends (one with a 1″ diameter and the other 1.5″) to stimulate those sometimes hard-to-reach areas. As I am only equipped with one of those spots, I can only give my G-spot experience.
I wasn’t very familiar with my G-spot when I won the Pure Wand from a contest. I hoped I would be like the many other women who found this to be a miracle toy, and when I first slipped it in (with only a little lube of your choice needed), it easily curved around my pubic bone and nestled where I expected my G-spot would be. And, were my G-spot tucked just behind my pubic bone, as most resources state it should be (to be honest, I think this is where it is for many women), the review would likely end here. I probably would have discovered my G-spot and mastered it with ease.
If you’re looking for your G-spot, check out my review of Female Ejaculation & the G-spot.
But I didn’t. As it turns out, my G-spot is not located behind my pubic bone but is much shallower. I tried the smaller and the larger ends and rocked the Pure Wand this way and that, but there wasn’t any dramatic response – except when I tried to pull out the Pure Wand too fast, and it hooked on my pubic bone. I swore my hips were being ripped apart! Neither end was as filling as I would have liked, either. The smaller ball felt too small, and the shaft near it was disappointingly narrow. Although the shaft on the other end was more filling, the ball was too large for comfort. I felt like Goldilocks.
In terms of comfort, the rigid metal of the Pure Wand means it’s not great for thrusting. Even gentler experimentation on my part left me feeling bruised. Although the feeling went away a few moments after I stopped, I found the experience to be a little painful and too intense on the whole. As others have mentioned, a user guide would be helpful. I’m still not actually sure how you’re supposed to use the Pure Wand, which means it’s definitely not a toy for newbies.
I put the Pure Wand away and, somewhat wistfully, vowed to try it another time. During that time, I focused on some different types of G-spot toys and did a little reading on the subject. I was finally able to locate my G-spot (using the K-balls) and was surprised at how close it was to the entrance of my vagina. I learned how to squirt and broke out the Pure Wand once more. Although it slid easily behind my pubic bone, the ends missed my G-spot completely, and the shaft barely rested against it because of the curve. However, the curve does mean it can be grasped over the mons, instead of between the legs, an advantage over some toys.
I tried using the Pure Wand with the bulbous ends stroking my G-spot instead of being inserted further. Used in this manner, I was able to stimulate my G-spot a bit but couldn’t squirt. I eventually switched to the Curve but was already feeling sore from using the Pure Wand, so it, too, was unsuccessful.
Furthermore, individual preferences and circumstances can make some of the positives of this toy… negative. For starters, the weight can certainly be a drain on anyone with joint problems, and it can feel a bit unwieldy. Secondly, the stainless steel has a tendency to quickly warm to warmer than body temperature. If you like heat, this is interesting. I found it to be quite uncomfortable. Additionally, the Pure Wand results in lots of wet vaginal sounds. Lastly, because it is so slick, lubes and bodily fluids can make it difficult to grasp.
Although I believe my experience to be somewhat unique, I do feel that the Pure Wand is better intended for those whose G-spots are behind the pubic bone and not as shallow as mine. Even if you can perfectly stimulate your G-spot with the Pure Wand, I warn you to be very careful when thrusting or removing it so that it doesn’t catch on your pubic bone. The Pure Wand just goes to show that no one sex toy is “one size fits all.”
17 Comments
Fun Factory Curve
October 28th, 2009
Fun Factory Curve
Fun Factory no longer makes the Curve. If you’re looking for a silicone G-spotter, you might try to Vixskin Tex or Tantus Acute. Vibrating options include the Embrace G Wand and Comet II.
I was so excited to a bright pink dildo of the G-spotting kind in the mail. I had no idea it was coming. Major props, kudos, gratitude to Tabu toys. I probably squealed and I’m not a squealer. I showed it to my husband who quickly answered with “Meh, it’s another sex toy for you” and I should have threatened to violate him in the middle of the night with it, for raining on my parade. I totally could because..
The Curve by Fun Factory is made of pure silicone, in particular, a softer silicone.
This is good because..
- silicone is nonporous and can be sterilized completely by boiling or bleaching which makes it safe for partner sharing or orifice swapping.
- It shouldn’t hold smells.
- It’s easier to clench around and isn’t as unforgiving as some hard G-spot toys.
- the external portion can me maneuvered against the clit and vulva for a better “fit”
- the loop in the handle has a little stretch to shove in your favourite bullet or even a mini wand.
- the texture of the silicone helps it from slipping out like some smooth toys do.
- the silicone does a decent job of transferring vibrations
This is bad because..
- it picks up lint but, really, less hygienic toys do, too so it’s a fair trade.
- some folks need rigid toys to thrust quickly and the Curve just isn’t built for that.
The Fun Factory curve has a unique, asymmetrical curve with a loop/hole on the handle and a very defined head.
This is good because..
- it curls back toward the body and can be used for clitoral stimulation (or potentially perineum stimulation when used anally.
- it is easier to use than toys which protrude 6 inches from the vagina, especially for short armed folks like myself.
- the handle can also be used to house a bullet.
- the handle will stop it from slipping inside if used anally.
- the lip on the head can be used to “milk” one’s G-spot or prostate easily.
- it can easily stimulate G-spots at different depths.
This is bad because..
- the curve may not fit all anatomies.
- partner use of the Curve may be difficult.
- the lip on the head may be painful to some, especially when maneuvering around the pubic bone.
- It’s semi-realistic shape is not discreet
- For some reason, places other than the hole/handle seem to work better for transmitting vibrations.
The Curve is a thicker dildo, measuring in at 1.69″ diameter around the largest portion of the head (the lip) and 1.4″ in diameter around the larger portion of the shaft (just under the head).
This is good because..
- This is good because many G-spot toys with bulbous heads do not have a lot of girth and leave me feeling disappointed.
- This is good because there’s enough of a shaft to clench around.
- This is good because it’s more realistic than some G-spot toys.
This is bad because..
- it may hinder ease of use.
- it’s definitely not a small toy or good for beginners.
- The thicker parts of this dildo do not transmit vibrations as well
Fun Factory’s Curve dildo is bright pink and has decorative flame-like ridges on it.
This is good because..
- it’s attractive to me.
- The pink is nearly translucent and it is quite unique to look at.
- it’s impossible to lose and stands out from other toys
This is bad because..
- The sex toy market is saturated with pink toys
- Fluids can collect near the ridges
- The ridges cannot be felt anyway
My experience with the Fun Factory Curve was pretty much wonderful. It was the first dildo I ever squirted with and it was only a matter of seconds. It fit perfectly against me so I could stimulate my clitoris, too, and provided the essential dual stimulation experience for me. Plus, it’s filling. It’s like a magical sex elf (and you know how Germans like their magical elves) entered my room in the middle of the night to make a mold of my vulva and Fun Factory used it to create the perfect G-spot dildo for me.
I was able to insert a bullet and feel it internally but I preferred to use it with my Miracle Massager against it. The only downsides to my experience were that the massager wanted to slip off the Curve; I wish there was some sort of indentation I could rest it on; and that the lip on the head is a bit much after I’ve squirted because I become quite sensitive. However, it feels great before that. I know this is mostly due to the fact that my G-spot is quite shallow so I never push the Curve past my pubic bone, however; many women will need to look out for that. But for me? The Curve is perfect as is.
6 Comments
Time and Time Again
October 24th, 2009
I have problems with time. I don’t always prioritize it right and I’m horrible at guessing just how much time something will take. I frequently make informal schedules in my mind, a checklist of things to do today and the next thing I know, it’s tomorrow and I didn’t achieve half of those things because I let time get away. What’s even worse is that, instead of stopping and shelving those projects for another day I simply stay up until they’re all completed; this is why I have absolutely no routine whatsoever. I push myself until I’m so dead tired I cannot accomplish anything more then need to sleep half a day away to fix the effects of it.
Needless to say, sex doesn’t fit into my non-schedule. Just the other day I was thinking how difficult it is for us to have sex at all when my husband works. It’s a bit better now because he has new hours. His 12 hour days are only 12 hours as opposed to the 14 he used to work. He can stay up a little later, now, instead of coming home with just enough time to watch some TV while he eats, check his e-mail, shower and head to bed once more. Now I have a bit more time to get in the mood but it still doesn’t happen nearly as often as we’d both like. I think we’re down to maybe once a week when I’d like to have sex more like 3 or 4 times a week. In fact, I will sit down and think about how we’re not having sex..
And then I realize I’m sitting at the computer or reading in bed or he’s playing video games or we’ve somehow managed to waste a couple hours fighting and then I know that, no matter how shitty his schedule is, we’re equally at fault for not planning to have sex. I know I need to, I just don’t. It’s hard for me to up and go into the bedroom. Even if I want to, I just don’t get turned on at the drop of a hat and I know it’s frustrating for him ’cause he does. But planning can sometimes make it even harder to get where I need to be mentally, especially because I like sex to be spontaneous. And planning itself is hard when you have such a complete lack of schedule like I do.
I suppose it comes down to this – would I rather have spontaneous sex infrequently or deal with having to plan sex so I can have it as much as I’d like (or at least try)? I’m not even sure.
4 Comments
Kinklab leather wrist cuffs – black
October 23rd, 2009
I recently reviewed the Kinklab Padded Leather Blindfold. Aside from some minor pinching and slipping, it was a good piece, basic but functional. That’s pretty much how I’d sum up their leather wrist cuffs as well. They arrived in a similar plastic tube, from which I had to pry off the cap and on which is an image of the cuffs in use (but it’s not obscene).
Out of the tube, I saw that these cuffs do not have the common belt buckle style closure, which Kinklab calls “self keeping.” Rather, when you wrap it around your wrist, the bottom layer has a pseudo-D ring that slips through the slit of your choice on the overlapping piece. Then, a thin strip of leather is pulled through that D-ring, over the hole to secure it in place. Given enough space, you could potentially loop the strap through other holes for extra security. It’s not foolproof; if that is your goal, you can slip a padlock or something similar through the ring. On the other side is another ring that can be used to attach the cuffs to restraints or each other.
Of course, no locks or connectors are included. This was easily remedied with a trip to Lowe’s and, eventually, Walmart. It doesn’t mean the cuffs are bad per se, but that would be nice, especially because the staples are not like other D-rings or O-rings I’ve experienced. In fact, they’re not really rings are all but are open and shaped something like the Greek Omega with longer feet. Because of this unique shape, these staples are definitely smaller than I am used to, and some hardware may not fit.
The staples and the leather strap are all fastened with metal rivets which seem quite secure. In fact, these cuffs look pretty unassuming and weren’t quite as pleasing to the eye as I might have liked, but I was surprised at how well they held up while I had my husband restrained. Despite much thrashing and movement, the rivets stayed secure, and the cuffs never came open. However, we played probably just over an hour, and the thin leather straps were definitely coming loose. Eventually, the cuffs would have given way. Still, I’m surprised by how well they did hold without using a lock. Of course, some people would find this design a positive because it can easily be undone by fingers, teeth or even toes.
Over this time, he never complained of any discomfort, either. The edges are blunt, and the leather itself is malleable enough to wear comfortably, but they’re also not buttery soft as I have heard some leather described. The outside is shiny and smooth, while the inside of the cuffs are unfinished but relatively soft. The cuffs fit him well, on the third hole or so, with a bit of room to spare. They are cut to fit a range of 5.5″ to 7″, which is right in the middle, but those with smaller or larger wrists will be out of luck. Kinklab’s black leather wrist cuffs are just not meant to accommodate everyone.
Yet, they even surpassed my husband’s expectations. He expected to have bruises in the morning; however, there were none to be found. I don’t think there were any marks to be found, even immediately after playing, and this definitely eases his mind.
For less than $40, the quality and performance of the Kinklab leather wrist cuffs are absolutely acceptable. I would recommend them to anyone just starting out when it comes to bondage or anyone who finds themselves needing a bit more than the “kinky kits” usually contain. I would eventually like to make more of an investment, but, for now, these are great.
Comment
Pjur “Med-Clean” Spray
October 20th, 2009
Pjur "Med-Clean" Spray
$14.40
from SheVibe
When I first heard of Pjur’s medical-grade toy cleaner, I was intrigued. I’d heard of Pjur’s other products but had never really wanted to try them. What can I say? I’m a simple girl with simple lube needs. But a toy cleaner that could hold its own in a sterile setting? Now that was something I wanted to try. And try I did, to smashing success!
Unlike other toy cleaners that need to be rinsed off, Pjur MedClean Spray is a viable alternative to soap and water, not just a substitute. It’s safe to use a toy if you just let it air dry, but if you need to remove physical dirt, wiping it down with a cloth or tissue after spraying works, too. That means no trip to the bathroom, no alerting the roommates and no trying to awkwardly wash non-waterproof toys. I especially appreciate that after getting my first ceramic vibrator; I’m a little paranoid about getting it wet so this is the perfect solution. A couple pumps and the cleaning solution will cover your toy in a super fine mist; I was actually surprised at how fine the mist was. I suspect this 100ml/3.4oz bottle (which comes plastic sealed) will last me quite some time. I also expect I will definitely be replacing it after it runs out.
Now, some people might be a little reluctant to use this product without wiping it off. I dry it simply so I can put toys away immediately, but the bottle also says it can be used on intimate areas, so I wouldn’t hesitate to let my toys air dry after using Pjur Med Clean Spray. It doesn’t hurt that it’s been dermatologically tested, either. In fact, I might be more likely to use it because it can help reduce odor and has a “prophylactic effect” against bacteria and fungi. Not only is it condom-safe (and rubber and silicone), but it might even boost your infection prevention methods. That’s a side effect, which sounds pretty good to me. It also has somewhat of an anti-viral effect when used on “utensils” – IE, sex toys.
You’re probably beginning to see how this stacks up against other toy cleaners. Simply being able to use it without water makes it more appealing than most toy cleaners, which still require rinsing. If you’re not sold, it’s also alcohol-free. Although, I must admit the ingredients list is a little daunting (at least there’s no controversial Triclosan):
- water
- phenoxyethanol
- cocamidopropyl betaine
- chlorhexidine digluconate
- peg-7
- glycerol
- cocoate
- dimethicone copolyol
- neohesperidine dihydrochalcone
- sorbitol
But let me recap the instructions:
- Spray on Self or Toy
Fair trade, in my book.
Although the bottle advertises Pjur Med Clean as being perfume-free, it does have a sterile smell. It smells sort of chemically clean but perhaps not pleasant. Initially, this smell sticks to your toys but fades rather quickly. It’s supposed to be tasteless, but I cannot help but inhale the super-fine mist through my mouth; it definitely tastes sweet. I can’t say that either of those facts is a con, though. When it comes right down to it, Pjur MedClean Spray perfumes admirably and makes me feel a whole lot safer when it comes to my toys.
