I’ve had a rather crappy day but you know what would make me feel better? If someone were kind enough to nominate me as one of the Best Sex Toy Reviewers of 2008 on the Pleasurists blog! Head over there to see the guidelines for this contest and submit your nomination(s), even if it isn’t for me!
Petite Pink Ribbon
January 9th, 2009
Petite Pink Ribbon
N/A
from
This is an archived review of a discontinued product.
The Pink Ribbon Petite arrived in very minimal yet classy packaging. The vibrator, instructions, and included batteries (AA, but it’s still nice) were nestled in a tiny cardboard box over which slid a plastic sheath with the product name. Although it wasn’t as nice as, say, Lelo’s packaging, it was definitely less wasteful, and I appreciate that.
The Petite truly lives up to its name (which translates to small), being only 4 inches long. Ideally, it should fit in your hand but I found that this small plastic vibrator was a little too ‘boxy’ in parts, like on the sides. Although it seems to be curved well for a woman’s body, I think a more pronounced curve would fit better in my hand. I was much more comfortable holding and using the Laya Spot. I think it significant to mention that my hands are pretty small so this may be a personal preference.
The Pink Ribbon Petite is a special vibrator, however. First, some proceeds will go toward the fight against breast cancer. I think this is a noble effort, but it would be interesting to know just how much a “portion” is. Secondly, the plastic is treated so that it feels velvety. Holding the Petite in my hand feels great because of its texture. The Petite is also feminine and cute, discreet, comes with batteries and is easy to operate.
The Petite is not, however, my sex toy of choice. Starting with the shape, which was just a little awkward for my hand and also did not work to lay this toy flat against my mons. The curve was just not enough. Because of it’s specific shape, it really doesn’t work so well holding it any other way (like with the controls toward my vagina rather than up toward my mons).
The controls are also something that makes little sense to me. First, they’re situated in a strange place. When holding this, the heel of my hand is over the controls rather than my fingers and I’m pretty sure I’m doing it “right.” This 3-speed vibrator caught me off guard when I realized the horizontal switch first moves to the highest setting, then medium, then low. So it’s Off-High-Medium-Low. I forgot one time, warmed myself up on the highest setting, thought I’d turn it higher and was disappointed when I realized that was the highest setting.
So you can probably guess my next point, which is that the vibrations are not so impressive. My clit isn’t super sensitive; I never get off from vibration alone and to even feel relatively stimulated, I need a decent vibrator. The vibrations in the Petite are rather small. In fact, rather than increasing in power when I turn up the settings, they tend to increase in frequency which doesn’t really do much for me. At the highest setting, it’s more like an annoying buzz. Because of this, I would only recommend using this toy directly on your skin (not through panties, which is something I like to do).
Nevertheless, vibrations aren’t usually the deal breaker for me. I love pressure and if I can rub a toy against me in the right way, I can get off without vibrations (I did this with the Laya Spot). I just couldn’t do it with the Petite. Natural Contours tried to create something that would work well for most females, and maybe I just don’t fall into that category, or maybe they failed. Although velvety on the outside, this toy is overall hard. When trying to rub the curved end around my clit and labia, it hurt if I applied any pressure. I think a combination of shape and material just makes this toy ineffective for that purpose.
As I wind down my review, I’m disappointed. I could not orgasm with this toy and I have had orgasms with some pretty crappy toys. I cannot see this toy working for anything more than warm up and it probably won’t even work well for that. It’s a looker but that’s about all. The biggest impression the vibrations left upon me was that of annoyance and the shape and feel just did not lend itself well to applying pressure. The controls are awkward, both in function and position.
In my opinion, the benefits (donation, batteries included, texture, look) simply pale in comparison to the disadvantages of the Pink Ribbon Petite. If you’re shopping for a clitoral vibrator, I would recommend any Siri over this one. If you want to lend a helping hand, a full donation to a charity would likely do more good.
24 Comments
Laya Spot
January 8th, 2009
Laya Spot
N/A
from
This is an archived review of a discontinued product. Fun Factory has released newer versions, the Laya II and III.
The Laya Spot might be small but it should never be underestimated. This toy’s tiny stature was both surprisingly small yet enough to get me off time and again. It has quickly rekindled the passionate spark in masturbation for me, causing me to increase my frequency. I would not be lying if this was the only toy I could for the rest of my sexual life, I would be satisfied and I think everyone with a clit should own one. Period.
No matter how detailed a toy’s description is, I am nearly always surprised at its size when it finally shows up. Perhaps it was because of the close-ups of the Laya Spot, but I didn’t realize it was so tiny. It’s no mini bullet but it easily fits in the palm of my hand, making masturbation much more effortless than before.
My Laya Spot is black and purple with the main body of the toy being a softer black Elastomed and the controls and battery cap a hard purple plastic. This makes it a fairly hypoallergenic toy which can be cleaned with soap and water but Fun Factory does not recommend boiling or wiping down with alcohol so I’m not sure it can be sterilized.
Overall, it’s a quality toy, which even the packaging suggests. I had heard that Fun Factory has impressive packaging, and I must concur. The Laya Spot came in a box which didn’t waste a lot of space or packaging. The box contained two “flaps,” with a bit of information about the toy. These flaps folded down and stayed in place with small magnets. My Laya Spot also came with a small instruction sheet (in several languages) and a sample of Fun Factory’s water-based (thus safe for everything) lube, ToyFluid.
The Laya Spot is a really unique shaped toy which I think is its best selling point. The rounded ends work perfectly for stimulation, and I think this toy would work well for women of all shapes and sizes, as well as perhaps even regular massages. With my fingers reaching toward the controls and the heel of my hand resting over the battery pack, I can easily control the Laya Spot. I use it like the instructions suggest, placing the Laya Spot over my mons. However, it could be used in a variety of ways – perhaps with the battery pack stimulating the vaginal opening, which I didn’t try. The placement I like would also work well during many sexual positions, but I’ve never tried that.
This position worked well when it came to using the controls. For the most part, I could reach and use the controls which include 2 buttons. Holding the + button turns it on (while holding the – button turns it off) or increases the vibration. After the highest level, which I thought was pretty impressive for this small toy, it begins a couple patterns of pulsation. So you have a lot of options, quite literally, at your fingertips.
Although the vibrations were very nice, I used this toy without having it on and also got off. I think the innovate shape is that effective. I also didn’t love the pulsation settings so I kept it on regular vibration most of the time. There are something like 7 levels of vibration so that certainly didn’t disappoint.
Most of the time, I used the Laya Spot through my panties. This wasn’t for any real reason, but it definitely worked out. I finally decided I wanted to try out this little toy with the included lube so I lubed it up, slipped out of my clothes and began my merry journey. The combination of no fabric and lube provided a sensational vibrating feeling, and the tip of the Laya Spot glided easily when I directed it with my hand. I soon came a handful of times.
I have yet to play with the Laya Spot and not orgasm so I’ve been pretty impressed. I also have had very satisfying orgasms with this toy and I am the queen of frustratingly unsatisfying orgasms so that says a lot. In fact, I feel so relaxed after playing with the Laya Spot. I’m usually so uptight about everything and something about this little toy just clicks with me and is extremely pleasing.
I also love that it’s small enough to take just about anywhere, which I imagine I will do in the future. It’s shape makes it fairly discreet so people won’t automatically know what it is. It is a little loud for its size, especially on higher settings but it’s not something you’ll hear through a wall.
So, is there anything I don’t like about the Laya Spot? The answer is “yes,” sadly. It’s only splash-proof, not waterproof. It would be damned near perfect if it were waterproof. The battery cap does seem pretty snug but I am not going to risk it. The battery cap is another issue. After inserting batteries (2 AAA), I didn’t close it all the way. The last little push you need to firmly close the cap, which twists on, is pretty hard so it can seem fully closed before it is. Before I realized this, the cap popped off a couple of inopportune times.
Finally, and I don’t know if it’s just me, but the Laya Spot had a rather offensive odor when I first opened it. It was something like super-condensed BO. It has gotten better as I have washed it a few times since then and generally keep it in the fresh air. I really don’t know what this is about. I haven’t really read any reviews where others have experienced the same thing, so I don’t know if it’s necessarily a material smell or what, but it’s really, really unpleasant. Luckily, everything else about this vibrator is so impressive, or I might have given up on it.
If you like clit stimulation, the Laya Spot is a great vibrator, any way you look at it. The unique shape made this an amazing toy, even when used without vibration, and I cannot recommend it enough!
47 Comments
Erectile Dysfunction and Extramarital Sex
January 5th, 2009
A friend of a friend was looking for advice on her current situation. Her husband had been having troubles with erectile dysfunction for a while and while prescription medicine solved the problem, it was no longer working. Add to it that his doctor had just confirmed it would be a permanent issue, and my friend was feeling disgruntled. Her husband suggested that she go out and find someone else with whom to have sex and she was wondering whether or not this is a good idea. She certainly wished for sexual intimacy and was considering sex outside her marriage but wasn’t sure.
My first reaction was that there may be other activities husband and wife can do together. Oral sex and mutual masturbation both popped into my mind. Use of toys is also something I would advocate. A hollow dildo may work for some while others just might use vibrators and regular dildos. Use with her husband or alone, this friend might not feel as much of a need to seek sexual gratification after all. Furthermore, I encouraged her to research alternative treatments for ED such as acupuncture or herbal remedies. I’m no doctor but it certainly seemed like all involved parties gave up on finding a solution, not just for his ED but for achieving sexual intimacy together, rather quickly.
I next wondered if their relaitonship was stable and whether extramarital sex, even if condoned by her husband, would cause further strain. As I inquired further, it became obvious that everything wasn’t peachy keen. She and her husband were no longer sharing the same bed, resulting in an even further loss of intimacy. While she felt willing to look into other ways they could be intimate together, he had already written off the subject. It was clear, not being able to perform in bed had done a number on his ego and confidence, thus it was affecting their relationship.
As this information came to light, my opinion quickly changed from “this might be a plausible solution” to “This couple needs therapy, not extramarital sex.” What they had both perceived as problem in the bedroom was really a larger problem with their relationship, of which sexual frustration was only a symptom. It seemed to me, that by considering she have an outside sexual encounter, this couple was only putting the cart before the horse. By working on meeting each others’ emotional needs, I have a feeling the wife will feel less of a desire to have sex with others and they might be able to substitute other activities for vaginal sex, instead.
Now, in their specific situation I would strongly encourage therapy and, if he was not willing, she should go alone. I would not recommend that she continue with the idea of sleeping with others, at all. Still, were their relationship strong and healthy, it may have worked out as long as they were both sure about what they want and made sure to vocalize it.
While what he was suggesting might be a completely selfless sign of love, it could also mean a test. If she had sex with another man, he might judge her as failing or not loving him enough despite his flaws. Or perhaps he really isn’t comfortable with the idea at all but feels he must do something so that she does not leave him for something better. Either way, even a stable relationship would suffer. This is why it’s important to be honest not only to our partners but to ourselves.
It may take a little soul searching in order to really know whether or not he is okay with his wife having sex with another man and it even may be difficult for her to come to terms with the idea. Feelings like jealousy, resentment and poor self worth may surface here but they are all surmountable. If you’re Is it absolutely possible to put aside human traits of jealousy and possessiveness? Sure. Do we all have the will to do so? Not usually. If either partner is uncomfortable at all, it’s not something which should be acted upon, at least yet.
Furthermore, it doesn’t hurt to analyze the desire to seek out sexual fulfillment elsewhere. If this woman had done so, she would have discovered that she was not looking for sexual gratification alone; rather, she was looking to fill the emotional loss she was experiencing due to her husband pulling away. While he might be okay with her being in a sexual relationship with someone else, would he feel the same about her being emotionally intimate with another?
Which leads me to my last point: it’s vital to discuss (and agree upon) expectations and guidelines. The more she talked, the more it sounded like she was looking for a full time boyfriend but I could not help but wonder if this is what her husband had in mind. Perhaps he expected her to only have no-strings-attached one night stands. Perhaps he expected they would only have vaginal intercourse or not engage in activities which he felt we special to them (whether sexual or otherwise). Does he expect them to use protection? If so, what kind? Will she tell her new beau that she is married? Discussing when, where and how these trysts can occur not only helps to make sure all parties are on the same page but can help to shed light on whether or not everyone really is comfortable with the situation.
While I think this arrangement can work for some people, I think it doesn’t work for more people. I think certain conditions must be “met” before a couple should consider this. Other activities should be considered first, the relationship must be stable and healthy, both partners must be accepting of the idea and completely honest about their feelings and it’s a good idea to discuss guidelines and expectations beforehand.
If you have been successfully involved in a similar arrangement, it’s extremely likely it’s because you gave it some thought and followed these guidelines. Many of these considerations are those which belong in any relationship (honesty and communication) and others can be effective in negotiating open relationships or threesomes as well.
7 Comments
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times
December 31st, 2008
To answer my own question, I’ve definitely had some hits and misses sex toy-wise this year. The Passion Wave and 24 Karat Gold Double Happiness were both hits in the sex toy department. I enjoyed the naughty tales in Five Minute Erotica as well as licking Raspberry Honey Dust off my partner. Shaving has become infinitely easier since I invested in some Coochy Cream as well.
However, there were some bumps along the way. Durex’s Play Vibrating Cock ring was disappointing, to say the least, and I expected a bit more from the Luna Beads (although it wasn’t a complete loss). I tried my first hands-free vibrator, the Venus Butterfly, to less than exciting results. Although I had heard good things about Wet Light lubricant, it just wasn’t up to par. Lastly, the Mini G Rock was an interesting but poorly designed toy that did nothing for my sexual satisfaction.
I’ve had a good year so far, and considering I just got into this reviewing thing, I only see next year topping it! I’d like to thank all the wonderful shops, including Babeland, GoodVibes, and Tabutoys, that supplied me with the toys (both good and bad) in return for my reviews.
4 Comments
Five Minute Erotica
December 30th, 2008
Five Minute Erotica
12.86
from Amazon
I’m sure I’m not alone when I say that I sometimes feel as though I spend more time looking for masturbation material than I do actually using it. Although images and movies and literature are available by the truckloads online, it’s not always easy to find quality material (and, let’s face it, I’m cheap) which is free. While Five Minute Erotica isn’t necessarily free, it’s reasonably priced and will be your own volume to peruse on many occasions, which I believe you will.
Five Minute Erotica is full of – as you might have guessed – short stories and prose, also known as sudden fiction. Most of the nearly 40 stories range between one and five pages, so it’s perfect if you’re already revved up and just need something to get your engine going. Of course, if you want to read a handful of stories, this anthology will work well. However, this is probably not the type of erotica best for those who like lots of character development. While filled with characters and surprisingly powerful events and relationships, the point of this is not to be prolonged. If you know you want something quick and easy, this is it.
Also, while everything is sexual in nature, it’s not always about sexual things happening. Some of the stories simply show us glimpses into the sexual thoughts of characters, such as what they like or abstract memories. Sex isn’t always happening, but it’s there. When I began the book, I wasn’t in the mood, but a couple of stories helped to change it, and the short stories didn’t require much effort from me as a reader to do so.
I liked that the stories’ authors, themes, styles, and formats were varied. Some dealt with sex with strangers or lovers and even voyeurism. One story was in the form of an e-mail between lovers, while another used only commas for punctuation. Written in third and first person, by women and men, there really is a little bit of everything here. I would guess that most people would be satisfied (if they’re interested in this sort of thing) although I can’t guarantee you’ll like everything. I quickly skipped over a story that had toe-sucking in it (sorry, that’s a “No” thing to me), and, of course, there are some I forgot. Overall, however, I enjoyed this book, and it’s certainly of a higher caliber than what is readily available online.
Among my favorites was a story with tentacle sex, where a young woman who is driving becomes lost and abducted by aliens only to experience pleasure-giving mouths at the ends of tentacles. In A Closer Encounter, Blake C Aaren writes:
An infinite number of tentacles rove all over Tasha’s body. Stroking, caressing, inching. Nibbling. A tentacle of her own -of her wetness- trails down the inside of Tasha’s thigh.
This isn’t my normal flavor of erotica, but the writing did it for me!
I also really enjoyed a story in which a woman is dressed as a cat for a party and engages in intercourse with her partner. During the session, she acts and verbalizes as only a cat. I was intrigued by the role-playing in this story, Bad Kitty, told by Thomas Roche.
I wonder if it is a coincidence that the stories most memorable for me are written by men or, for that matter, that they are more unusual. I must say, though, that most of the stories are of a more vanilla style, which is fine by me but might be a little tame for some. Aside from some very light bondage, Five Minute Erotica does not cater to those with taboo or kinky fetishes. Still, it’s a good, light read.
Overall, I think Carol Queen did a good job as editor, picking high-quality stories by writers of all sorts of notoriety. She also contributed a piece herself – The Bounty of Summer – after which I will never look at fruit the same again. While I didn’t enjoy the first story being the one that uses only commas for punctuation (I found this a confusing opening piece), I found it easy to go from one story right into the next.
Other than that, I wasn’t distracted by language errors like I’ve done with amateur erotica in the past, which pleased me immensely. I did notice that the margins are rather small, and I wasn’t overly fond of the font used for headings and the table of contents.
Although I read this from beginning to end, you can easily pick up just about anywhere in the book, which is one of the pluses of such a gathering of stories. This would make a great book for partners to read aloud to each other (although I did not because it’s not our thing). Another plus is the author blurbs at the end of the book. If you really like an author, it can help to point you to their other published pieces.
The downfall of such a collection is that if you find something you like, it isn’t going to last forever. Also, if you want something, in particular, you might not find (enough of) it because this book does cram in such a variety.
This was a great foray into erotica for me. Now that I have read more erotica, I can confidently say that I look back at this book fondly–and keep meaning to reread it. If you’re looking for something to get you in the mood for some playtime, whether alone or with a partner, consider Five Minute Erotica. The dozens of wonderfully self-contained narratives in this collection are sure to start the libidinous wheels a-turning.
20 Comments
It’s that time of year..
December 30th, 2008
You know, the end of the year. So, why not some time for reminiscing?
What were your best and least toys (and toy experiences) this year?
Care to tell us about your best and worst sexual experiences?
Any other best and worsts that really stuck with it?