Minna’s kGoal Kegel Exerciser and Its 4 Fatal Flaws

January 3rd, 2017

kGoal
$149 from Minna Life

You’re not going to find many negative reviews of Minna’s kGoal, and I think that’s because it works for most people. But it didn’t work for me. Not technologically. Not shapewise. Not at all, and I think it’s important for people who have similar bodies and preferences as me to know what they’re getting into. Because what they want is a smart toy that helps them exercise their PC muscles, not an exercise in frustration.

By now, you all know that kGoals uses Bluetooth to connect to your device. It contains sensors that measure the strength, and the app (for Android and iOS) includes “games” to help you get your reps in without boring to death.

But there are a few problems with kGoals.

1. Bluetooth

Any wireless technology struggles with physical barriers. It’s why pretty much any remote-controlled vibrator is terrible, why WiFi signals decreases the further you are from the router and why cell reception is so difficult to find in rural areas.

Your body is a pretty big physical impediment to wrap directly around a Bluetooth-enabled device, and I quickly found this out with the kGoal. It works best when you connect before insertion, which makes sense. But sometimes even that wouldn’t work. And while some of my devices would connect, not all of them would.

Once it was connected — and I only had it connected successfully during insertion twice tops — the connection is prone to drop because of these same issues. Of course, you’ll need to drop your phone, remove the toy, clean lube from your fingers, reconnect the device, reinsert it and get back into position. It’s a fucking hassle.

2. Random Account Issues

I cannot explain how awesome Minna was at answering my questions. When I attempted to use kGoal with my new phone — because my mmold one doesn’t turn on —  I couldn’t even sign in. There was some account error, and they told me to sign up again.

Of course, this would lose any information I had from my previous account, meager as it were. If this problem persists, then it could wipe out a lot of user data between devices.

Also, I’m pretty sure I’m still waiting on an email and can’t even log in soooo =/

3. Shape and Size

Listen, I know that my pubic bone doesn’t run exactly the same as other women. It’s why I don’t need very much of a curve for G-spot stimulation and why the Pure Wand totally didn’t work for me. It’s also why most kegel balls are too damn large and feel pinchy.

Now, you also need to understand the design of the kGoal to understand why it also won’t work for my anatomy. The kGoal looks like a dual stimulator, and the arms are quite flexible from one another with the external part being rather flat.

The insertable portion is coated in essentially a balloon of silicone that expands with air and compresses with force (of your vagina or hand). It feels more similar to the Minna Ola than the Limon.

https://twitter.com/adriana_r/status/816236453214699521

There’s a very narrow shaft in this, but the head is rounded and very firm beneath the silicone. It is also huge. I mean, it shouldn’t be. I’ve taken larger cocks and toys, but they weren’t rigid.

Minna’s kGoal always hurts going in and it gets stuck behind my pubic bone when I want the damned thing out. I know that Minna tried that damnedest to work with the actual human body, but we’re not all identical.

Unfortunately, I think you’re not going to know whether this works for you until you try it but if you have a similarly pronounced pubic bone as I do, I might advise against the financial and physical risk you’re taking with kGoal.

4. Vibration

I don’t know. They say it’s supposed to be pleasurable. Maybe the pitiful vibration would be better for someone who didn’t feel like the crotch was in a Chinese finger trap/lobster claw/C clamp (choose your metaphor).

You can use the thing for pleasure or for exercise without the app, but it really takes away from the innovation and usefulness if you’re just relying on the vibration.

So once you get it inserted, if you can get comforted and connected, you open up the app and play some games. There are two simple games that requires squeezing to accomplish tasks. “Game” might even be giving them more credit than they deserve. Activities? Regardless, it’s harder than you might think, and it’s great for giving you feedback about how you use your PC muscles.

You set goals for how often you want to work out, and the app will remind you. These are all pretty good features.

But the problem with kGoal is there are so many damn “ifs” to get to that point, and it’s difficult to pinpoint how to minimize them. I cannot in good conscience recommend a toy this costly with so many risks.

Does kGoal sound like something you’d like? Are you okay with a really innovative and costly paperweight? If so, buy it. If not, buy anything else.

4 Comments

Categories: Reviews, Sexual Health and Beauty, Vibrators

Learn Something New About Sex Toys Today

December 22nd, 2016

It’s no mystery that sex toys are something I love, and that’s a love that I try to share with others, both through this blog and in my offline life. Sex toys have enabled me to climax easier, squirt, have fun with partners and discover new erogenous zones, among other benefits. Sex toys = good.

When you’re as experienced with sex toys as a reviewer like myself can be, you can forget that once sex toys were new. This meant the entire concept was novel and exciting. And to some people, the entire thing is intimidating or confusing.

I’m not the only person to write guides to choosing sex toys, navigating materials and playing safely. In fact, I may not even have done the best job at those tasks. Many retailers off in-depth guides that make it easier to search for toys, whether you’re searching for yourself or for someone on your list. The result? Better-informed shoppers who will stand the best chance at liking their orders and shopping again, duh.

Lyps Complete Toy Guide, for example, not only points you in the direction of the best toys for your body and your relationship; the site also discusses sex toy materials, safety and cleaning.

In twelve chapters, the guide walks buyers through everything technical and personal they’ll need to know about buying and using sex toys, including general masturbation tips. You’ll find charts and statistics about everything sex toy related. Not too shabby if you’re set on learning everything – and why wouldn’t you be? If you just need to brush on something that you’ve forgotten, such as lube compatibility, then this guide has you covered, too.

 

One of the things about the Lyps guide that I really like is that they recommend other online retailers because it’s more important for the guide to be useful than it is for it to be exclusive, and that’s a rare thing to find these days. Communication and cooperation between retailers, manufacturers and bloggers, of course, is the only way to spread information — and accurate information at that.

It’s all too easy to think you know it all or forget the little details or basic information that comes easily to a veteran blogger but might be crucial to a toy newbie who hasn’t found their stride, so part of providing useful information is listening to what others have to say and responding in kind.

Anyway, if you haven’t yet, check out the Lyps sex toy guide as well as the articles on Of Sex and Love. Got a question or thought? Sound off in the comments. I’d love to teach you something new or, better yet, learn something new myself!

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Categories: Articles

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No. 17 Bendable Twist Waterproof Silicone Vibrator by Black Door

November 4th, 2016

No. 17 Bendable Twist Waterproof Silicone Vibrator by Black Door
N/A from

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

I wish there was a sufficiently succinct way to describe toys-that-I-won’t-call-worthless-because-they-work-for-clitoral-stimulation-but-I-intended-to-use-them-internally. I mean, that’s pretty long-winded.

Long, too, is the list of toys that fit this. Their shape or vibrations just don’t do it for my G-spot, but the shape generally works well enough to provide me with a clitoral orgasm. I tend to be lenient about these things because shape is so important for me clitorally.

However, a toy that doesn’t do what it’s intended to isn’t worth much, and that alone should prevent me from recommending a toy. If a sex toy provides its expected function in addition to being versatile, that’s worth commending.

So why am I so often looking for ways to give positives to toys that otherwise don’t meet expectations? Perhaps I am looking for a way to say “At least I didn’t waste my time (or money).”

Let me waste no more of your time ranting about disappointing toys in general. Let’s talk about one toy that’s disappointing yet strangely intriguing — No. 17 Bendable Twist Waterproof Silicone Vibrator by Black Door.

So, this new line by Black Door consists of velvety soft silicone. I enjoy the texture of the No 17, which is part of the reason the slightly curved head works so well clitorally. It is reminiscent of the heads on several Fun Factory toys, including Patchy Paul.

But the real selling point of this vibrator is that it bends. This isn’t the first toy to bend. JeJoue’s G Ki comes to mind. This toy was supposed to help you get perfect G-spot stimulation by allowing you to customize the angle of the bend

No. 17 Bendable Twist Vibrator has a flexible core that doesn’t rely on specific “joints.” It feels more like posable dolls limbs, which I hope won’t freak you out. The intended result, as far as I can tell, was to be able to create a custom shape for your body.

Herein lies the problem. This flexibility means you can ben it any which way (well, within reason), but it also means it doesn’t stay in place. For example, using it for clitoral stimulation tend to make it bend backward. I think rigorous thrusting internally could do the same; although, I didn’t do much thrusting with the No. 17 Bendable Twist Waterproof Silicone Vibrator by Black Door.

I found myself try to bend it once inserted to get dual stimulation, but couldn’t achieve an S-shape to get proper clitoral stimulation. I found that it hurt to bend while inserted, so I would try to bend it partially with my hands before insertion, then finish the job once it was inserted.

While the No. 17 Bendable Twist Waterproof Silicone Vibrator by Black Door was bent into a C/U shape, I was able to squirt by using a sort of rocking motion. I’m sure the toolbox-like texture (like this) helped, but it wasn’t a fantastic sensation. The vibrations are just so weak, you almost can’t tell if they’re buzzy or deep. It’s.. odd. This is because the toy runs on 2AAAs. It’s 2016 guys, get with the program!

It’s 2016 guys, get with the program! There are rechargeable vibrators that are worth the price for for well under $100 (Cuddle comes to mind), and even a few just slightly more expensive than this one that are rechargeable with stronger motors.

This brings me to my next gripe. I actually two of these vibrators because it took me several weeks to get one to work. As it turns out, the No. 17 Bendable Twist Waterproof Silicone Vibrator by Black Door doesn’t like rechargeable batteries. I’m not sure if this is the case with the entire line, but it’s worth noting if you suspect your toy is defective. Try regular batteries instead.

This might not be a deal-breaker for a vibrator that I loved, but I don’t. It is frustrating if you rely on rechargeable batteries and don’t tend to keep regular AAAs around. To be honest, it kind of seems unacceptable in this day and age. I’m not sure what’s happening technologically-speaking that would make the difference, but it’s not cool.

Even worse, I tried to contact the company to get some heads up, and no one replied. That’s pretty shitty. Fortunately, the folks at SheVibe were on the ball. Anyway..

The controls seem remarkably dated as well. There’s a single button in the handle, which is triangular and actually preferable to some other looped handles I’ve used in the past (I’m talking about you Alia and Big Boss). You can cycle through the settings or hold it to turn off the toy, but there’s nothing “smart” about this vibrator.

I guess that leaves me scratching my head or, more likely, posting flummoxed tweets. The toy tries to do something new but doesn’t have a solid foundation to back it up. Not everyone would love a bendable vibe, and some people would prefer bending toys like the G-ki versus the No. 17, but there are people who would be intrigued by this concept. And I really think they should be offered something better than this.

3 Comments

Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

I Get Paid to Write About Sex

November 3rd, 2016

..and it has nothing to do with this blog.

Which isn’t to say that I haven’t made money from this blog. But I am not so awesome (like Epiphora!) to have made it my job.

I do get paid to write about sex, though, even if I’m not directly paid to write about sex toys. And I like it that way.

Mostly, I do ghost-writing. Although, I do get a byline here and there. I typically write blog posts for sex toy stores and communities, including the Bad Girl’s Bible, Romantix and Cirillas, among others. I get to tell people how to choose sex toys, how to talk about sex, what it means to slut-shame, and which lubes are best for which sexual activities. All in all, it’s a charmed life.

And yet, it wasn’t at all what I set out to do. In the beginning of my freelance writing career, I wrote often about technology-related topics: cell phones and iPods, routers, and browser settings. Several years ago, I began writing almost exclusively about search engine optimization (SEO). There were many things happening in the world of SEO, which meant there was much to write about.

All of these topics interested me as most things do – at least for a while. Writing about sex, relationships and toys fell right in line. It has given me an opportunity to write things that I truly believe have helped readers (and I’ve seen feedback from readers that validates this). Like I said, a charmed life.

Sure, it sometimes feels monotonous or redundant. There are topics that I find frivolous or shallow, but not everyone has read (let alone written) a blog like mine for 8 years. Some people are just discovered their sexual side, and my words may help make it easier or more fun. Who knows? And everyone once in a while, I learn something new to me as well.

So, yes, I get paid to write about sex. And, yes, you can hire me.

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Categories: Everything Else

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A Toy a Day #4: Miracle Massager

November 2nd, 2016

The Miracle Massager was the fist wand massager that I ever tried, and it remains the one that I use most consistently. That is, to say,  I reach for it when I want to get off quickly with external pressure and without needing to strip down or lube up. It’s not that often; although, I’ve used it a few times this summer/fall.

When I first got the Miracle Massager, I appreciated its strength and rumblier vibrations. I liked the flat-ish head, which has a rounded edge that I press against my vulva for stimulation that’s more pinpointed and offers more pressure. However, the PVC material is porous and has since become discolored.

The Miracle Massager is not as powerful as the Hitachi, which I have since swapped away, and I actually prefer it that way. The Hitachi is just overwhelming while the Miracle Massager provides noticeably more power than anything that runs on batteries.  In fact, there are still days when my clitoris is too sensitive or I would need ample warming up for the Miracle Massager to not feel uncomfortable. But when my body is into it, it provides quick and easy orgasms — and usually multiples. I’ve had some fairly lengthy sessions with this vibrator.

The shape of the head of the Miracle Massager is important, too. The Hitachi and other toys are simply too round, and they lack the springy neck that allows me to push the handle away from my body to grind the head harder against it.

If the Miracle Massager could be quieter and smaller but offer all these same perks, I might never leave my home.

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Categories: A Toy A Day

BDSM: A Guide for Explorers of Extreme Eroticism

October 31st, 2016

BDSM: A Guide for Explorers of Extreme Eroticism
$12.99 (Kindle) from Amazon

One of my goals this year was to read more, and I’m poised to finish about three dozen books by the end of 2016, which is a number with which I am quite happy. Few of these books are “assigned” reading a la reviews, and most of them actually aren’t about sex. I wanted to branch out into hard science and nonerotic fiction, so few of the titles on my bookshelf or Kindle were related to sex.

As you can guess, BDSM: A Guide for Explorers of Extreme Eroticism doesn’t break that mold, but it does stand apart from other books that I’ve read this year.

Now, I am no stranger to BDSM books. You can check out my reviews for As Kinky as You Wanna Be, Decoding Your Kink: Guide to Explore Share and Enjoy Your Wildest Sexual Desires, and S&M 101, among others. There are even a few in there that I forgot. BDSM: A Guide is not one that I will soon forget.

Part of this is because it’s a tome of a book. With over 600 pages, it might be the longest book I’ve read this year — or during the past several. There is a wealth of information provided by the author Ayzad.. if you’ve the time to peer between the pages. I do think this book could be intimidating to some because of its size and other reasons, which I will touch on later.

First, let me introduce you to Azad, an Italian and self-proclaimed pretentious European who wrote the first version of this book over a decade ago. Ayzad’s experience and connections have resulted in something that could be described as the ultimate BDSM textbook. If it’s not in this book, it’s either urban legend, frowned upon by conscientious kinksters or has been invented since this summer.

The original Italian book has been translated and updated for the world at large, and I was fortunate to review a copy on my Kindle. As you can imagine, a 500+ page book is one that could easily become overwhelming. I recommend the Kindle version not just for ease of searchability but also because it’s about half the price of the soft cover on Amazon and, I would imagine, a sure bit lighter!

I don’t normally comment on Kindle formatting, and there’s nothing terribly wrong with BDSM: A Guide for Explorers of Extreme Eroticism, but a lack of numbered chapters — both within the table of contents and the pages themselves — makes it a bit hard to determine where you are in the book. A bit of tweaking with the different headings would also aid this, but it’s certainly not the biggest thing that would prevent someone from picking up this book.

BDSM: A Guide for Explorers of Extreme Eroticism is, well, daunting. If you read the original, want a complete BDSM library or only want to read a single book on the subject ever, then this one is for you. On the other hand, I might recommend something a bit more specific to readers who are already well-versed in BDSM but wanted to learn more about a particular niche or something more accessible for those who are new to the subject or perhaps unsure whether BDSM is for them.

Ayzad doesn’t coddle his readers, and I must admit that I agree with when he describes himself as pretentious. Initially, this was offputting, but there is no doubt that the usefulness of this book overshadows that eventually.

As a resource, BDSM: A Guide for Explorers of Extreme Eroticism stands head and shoulders above other BDSM publications and certainly above most things you’ll see online (where many people are seeking answers to specific BDSM questions). I’ve written guides myself, but this book delves far deeper than typical BDSM activities and terms, introducing the reader to ideas that they never knew they wanted to try (or perhaps never realized they wanted to avoid!).

Indeed, Ayzad lists potentially dangerous activities such as choking out of due diligence, even while advising against them. He goes beyond a quick warning not to flog a person’s kidneys and provides ample advice for dealing with a scene gone wrong. In short, Ayzad emphasizes safety and consent in such a manner that shames traditional sex education for a lack thereof.

Ayzad includes a level of detail that’s not merely impressive. It’s almost magnificent. You can see this in charts, which explain to the reader just how much weight certain body parts can hold, how to care for BDSM implements of different materials, the effect of electricity on the body, and how much saline solution you can inject into various body parts. You can easily learn basic knots and how to create rope harnesses (not to mention the difference between Eastern and Western rope bondage) from the words and photos in these pages despite the fact that it’s just one element of BDSM.

BDSM: A Guide for Explorers of Extreme Eroticism isn’t dry, however. Stunning photos are peppered throughout the pages; although, positioning might be a little less than ideal if you use custom font sizes on your Kindle as I do.

The photos themselves are not the only thing that will arouse a reader’s mind. If you’re into any particular kink, this book will likely have your heart beating faster when you discover the section that’s closest to your deviant heart. For me, that was reading about needles, which I found particularly inspiring. Ayzad writes in a way that I imagine could inspire creativity in most readers who have a serious interest in BDSM. I found it difficult not to imagine myself shopping in a medical supply store looking for items that could be perverted for this very purpose.

There is such a wealth of information that Ayzad frequently refers the reader to his website to learn more (you’d be hard-pressed to find a more comprehensive list of BDSM websites than in the resources section), and I often found myself performing quick searches when I would discover something new (such as what a tawse is). I must admit humility upon learning how much there was yet to know about BDSM. In fact, he tries to introduce the reader to the Internet and the role it plays in learning about BDSM and finding like-minded individuals and partners. This is a worthy cause but seems a little futile to me given how frequently the Internet changes. The best place to

This is a worthy cause but seems a little futile to me given how frequently the Internet changes. The best place to read about using the Internet is simply online. These final pages seemed rush and lacking in the detailed information found previously in the book probably because of these the ever-changing nature of the Internet.

I’ll wrap this review up because, while nowhere near the length of BDSM: A Guide for Explorers of Extreme Eroticism, it’s certainly lengthy. There is little this book doesn’t touch on that falls under the umbrella of bondage, discipline, domination, submission, sadism and masochism. If you’re all at all familiar, some of the content may be redundant, which is why I recommend the Kindle version for ease of use.

For those people who are unsure about BDSM or need a friendlier tone, I might recommend As Kinky As You Wanna Be to pique your interest and quell any worries you have about consensual BDSM.. before eventually adding BDSM: A Guide for Explorers of Extreme Eroticism to your collection if it felt lacking.

6 Comments

Categories: BDSM, Books, Reviews

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In Which There Is Confusion

September 8th, 2016

Adriana sees a guy who is completely gorgeous. She discovers he is also geeky. They hold conversations in public spaces. There is laughter.

Adriana hems and haws over asking for his number or sending a message. She eventually adds him to Facebook and sends a message. He responds that he was also of the mind they should talk outside of his work.

Adriana and this guy texted sporadically for some two months in an attempt to hook up. Attraction was there, but timing was not. The conversation was not fluid. The rapport was strained. She found herself losing interest.

Adriana sends a last-ditch message, to which he replies immediately. He contacts her as promised, but she is busy. Some more time passes. Adriana visits family out of town. He contacts her.

Adriana is bound and determined to fuck him after all this hassle. She is finally free when he messages at 4AM at a Saturday morning. She rushes through showering and shaving. She looks cute as fuck.

Adriana answers the door, and he is there, adorable but somewhat unsure. He greets her cats, makes himself comfortable on her couch — and on her body.

Adriana finds him adorable and funny but also pretentious and a little obnoxious. She likes how smart he is but wishes he was less arrogant about it. She finds him slightly less perfect. This reassures her.

Adriana has sex with him; it was going to happen, after all. It’s awkward and underwhelming. She doesn’t mind that he doesn’t finish but would prefer she someone got off.

Adriana wonders what any of this means as he hangs out in her bed for a while. She finds him adorable as he becomes sleepy.

Adriana says “Good bye.” She reflects that while she had fun, the sex was disappointing. She wonders if he can be trained or if she even cares to. She decides that she’s okay whether she sees him again — or not.

Then her fucking feelings decide they like him some 24 hours later. Now, Adriana wants him back in her living room and perhaps her vagina. But Adriana isn’t bold enough to be forthright.. yet. So she doesn’t know what he wants.. if she even knows what she wants.

Adriana is confused.

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Categories: Dating

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