
This might be the third year in a row that I’ve posted a best of list. I figured I wouldn’t just do the wonderful toys but provide you with some of the strange and disappointing, too. I’ll have to fudge the lines of “this year” a bit. I must have written last year’s a little early because there were two reviews in December 2012 that didn’t make it on the list. I waited until January for this post because I really wanted to get one last review in, so let’s start there.
I liked the design but expected the Ceramix Pleasure Pottery Dildo No. 4 to be a gimmick with its hollow inside for warm. But warming this dildo up far surpassed my expectations. It’s one of the few dildos that I’ve ever used twice, and I think that says a lot.
I’ve been pimping out the Jimmyjane Form 6 G3 all this year even though it was one of those reviews from late last year. The latest version if powerful, versatile and feels luxurious. It’s the first Jimmyjane vibe that I actually like. Maybe it won’t be the last. My review was on the EF, though, so I’ll probably get around to writing something up on OSAL for you to read.
The Delight by Fun Factory was actually my second. I swapped for one of the originals — the ones that came with a charging case — but never got around to using it. When I moved last year, I misplaced the cable. I wound up trying out the Delight for shape to see if I liked it, and I did like it so much that I purchased the new Click n Charge style. Not only do I love the magenta and black, but it fits my anatomy extremely well.
The Decor Stashe Pillow in Velvish Aubergine won’t get me off but it will hide everything that does and in style.
After using the D.1 stone dildo, I have to say that this blows every metal dildo I’ve ever used out of the water. I am so grateful to have the opportunity to use it and see myself using it frequently in the future.
Another new type of toy was the Stronic Eins Pulsator, which has made its way around many of these lists. It feels good. I just need to wash off all that lint, charge it and use it again (and again and again). This was also my first video review, you guys!
Finally, I cannot tell you how much I love my SHE AfterShave Oil. I could show you the nearly-empty bottle, though. I definitely need to purchase another one.
So, there’s the good.
How about the weird? Strange? Disappointing? Ridiculous?
The Sonic Revel Body. Cool tech, totally not going to get me off. And those attachments? WTF!
Why the fuck are companies still making these pieces of shit?
…aka the post in which I use a lot of italics.
It’s not that I am ungrateful. It’s just that it’s taken me almost two months to see the 2013 top sex bloggers list. I didn’t expect to make it on this year and, to be honest, I’ve dropped quite a bit from my top place (18 last year, maybe?) but I’m glad any of you nominated me at all.
Thank you.
2013 has been such a very strange year for me. I have definitely posted less frequently. I spend more time on Tumblr, browsing for stuff related to sex that isn’t porn (this is not an easy task). I tried to highlight the stuff I was finding on Tumblr, but fell out of interest. Now, you’ll find my Tumblr contains a lot of stuff about current sex toy sales and lots of reblogs of feminist posts and sex toy collection photos.
While reviews and advice have become less frequent, I’ve added more personal posts. I am hesitant to do this because it just feels like everyone else is as a different point in there life. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I feel like someone who’s had a sex blog for 5 years shouldn’t be casually dating people and having sex only once every few months.
In reality, 2013 has been a huge year for me personally. I had sex since the first time since my divorce, and I realized that I could be one of those casual sex havin’ folks. However, I didn’t want to continue that relationship in any way, so I ended it and we no longer speak. But I was struck with just how easy it was to fuck someone else. Man, that shit seems terrifying in my head. Who knew?
In the attempt to have more sex, I got back into contact with a friend with whom I hadn’t been speaking because I figured, more or less, that he’d be an easy lay. We wound up having really good sex and developing feelings. If I’m being honest, I fell in love with him. I am in love with him. But he hasn’t commitment issues and we had bad timing or something, and now we casually have sex sometimes while I try not to hope that it could be something. The sex is still amazing.
And it’s led me to think that I could be quite more submissive than I thought I was. It’s also led me to realize that I maybe want sex more than I want a relationship, and I could be okay with this arrangement for a while. Because fucking him makes me feel more like me than I have in quite some time.
Despite this, I still don’t really have a category for personal stuff. I should really make one. I’ve struggled with the identity of this blog, and I haven’t received nearly as much feedback as I’d like for this to be as satisfying as it once was. However, that could be the state of the Internet and the fact that I’m not marketing myself as a 2-bit educator or a snarky bitch. I’m just me.
But I did receive some feedback from someone that I really appreciate. She liked reading the personal posts that have become more common. She thought that was where my strength lies. So while I am going to continue write reviews, I want to expand personal posts without thinking about what it means to you. Because if it means something to me, the readers will see.
And I want to simply focus on connecting more with you guys. That’s something I talked about in my anniversary post. I just finished a round of blog commenting today. So, hello!, if that’s how you got here. I’ve tried to sign on Twitter more, to reply to emails, to be friendlier, to comment and to discover new blogs. I don’t know if it’s working or even if I know how to tell, but I feel better.
I also had my first bacterial infection, I tried my first stone dildo. I’ve had a few toys that I absolutely love. A lot were forgettable. I went to my last sex toy party. Ever.
So back to blogging. I made this list:
And it’s been interesting to see the list evolve over the years. There are few sex toy reviewers on it. Perhaps that’s because our numbers dwindle every year, or maybe it’s because people are sick of reviews. The first sex toy reviewer, The Sin Doll, is in the 30s. Interesting.
There’s a lot more sex educators on the list. The same goes for things like comics and erotica writers. It’s all very interesting. I love to see how legitimate sex education and work has become, and I think this list is evidence of that.
I’m glad to be on it no matter how I may contribute.
Thank you for nominating me. Thanks to Rori for including me.
Here’s to another year!
Ceramix Pleasure Pottery Dildo No. 4
$14.95
from Amazon
I have to get this review written tonight because I will soon be writing my annual “Best of” list, and this dildo will absolutely be on it.
So, here’s the thing. I really like the look of the Ceramix line. It’s all bright colors and fun shapes. Kind of Dr. Seuss. A good friend said it reminded her of Wonderland. Either way, it’s got this whimsical air. Love it. Apparently, I am not alone. My Pipedream rep said they were having trouble keeping these in stock. Fortunately, the good folk over at PinkCherry were able to send one over.
Now, the only other ceramic toy I’ve used was a vibrator, so it had a bit more wait than this dildo. The dildo is hollow and it just feels so light. It’s like the Krispy Kreme donut of dildos. Almost more air than anything else. Yes, it’s also delicious. I will get there.
There polka dots on the #4 are slightly raised. I can feel them with my hand. I don’t think this adds any vaginal sensation. It’s slick overall and, as you can see from the photos, there are definitely some light bulges.
So this is a hollowed out dildo and there’s a hole at the bottom that’s plugged with stopper. It’s removable so that you can put warm or cold water in it for temperature. At first, I thought this was a gimmick.
I was fucking wrong.
However, it is annoying. It’s in there really well. I couldn’t pry it out with my fingers or nails. I had to grab a pair of tweezers. It needs to be secure so that water doesn’t get all over your bed, but it’s so secure that you definitely need to plan on playtime with this dildo. It’s not a spur-of-the-moment thing.
So once I got it removed, I did will it with warm water. Of course, this adds to the weight a bit, but it’s nothing like metal. In fact, I rather disliked the weight of the Pure Wand. I also disliked how hot it got after usage. I generally prefer the feel of something cool against my labia, that warms up only slightly. I love glass.
But the way that the ceramic warms from the inside out with this method has won me over. The heat reminds me of sex with a real, live cock. Of course. the rigidity is all wrong, but is just feels awesome, not foreign. This alone made me really enjoy the feeling of this dildo. Instead of using it to squirt or thrust, I simply enjoyed the way it felt while inserted and using another vibe on my clit. I don’t think it would have mattered which vibrator I was using externally because cumming around this dildo — three times — felt amazing.
The size didn’t matter but for posterity, it has a slightly curved head and a base that makes it safe for anal. You can insert 6 inches, and this is a medium-size dildo with a maximum diameter of 1.5″.
It’s been a long time since I’ve fallen in love with a sex toy like this. I absolutely recommend that you try something in this line if not the Pleasure Pottery Dildo No. 4. There are vibrators and plugs, each with their own stunning design.
A while back I had signed into Facebook and an image popped up in my feed. I wish I had saved it, but I didn’t. It annoyed me but I figured that I would forget about it. I didn’t.
The image said something along the lines of
Ladies, just because he makes you feel that way doesn’t mean that he’s the one.
I take issue with this for so many fucking reasons.
I do not believe in true love, but the idea of true love is based on the belief that out of 7 billion other people on this planet, one of them is right for you. Perfectly so. No one else is. This true love complements you in every way. No one else can. If there is only one, true love, then it stands to assume that only one person should be able to do and say the things that make you feel love in that special way. If other people can do that, how can anyone believe in the concept of “the one.” There obviously is more than one when that’s the case.
You cannot have it both ways. These ideas do not go hand in hand. In fact, they are mutually exclusive. If there is only one true love and you’re supposed to know it, to feel it in the pit of your stomach and the marrow of your bones, then anything that confuses you or masquerades as true love only discredits the idea.
Finally, I am offended as a woman and a feminist. It’s not just that the text assumes this oxymoron is true, it assumes that women, somehow, are not able to realize that this is a fact. It’s targeted as women giving some sort of impression that it’s not okay for us to make what other people are poor choices in relationships. Of course, the same behavior in men is perfectly acceptable. It’s the same old double standard. A man sleeps with tons of women that he meets on adult dating website UpForIt, even if those women are poor choices for whatever reason, it’s okay. Boys will be boys. But women? No, we’re not allowed to make mistakes, even if those actions are only what others consider to be mistakes.
What’s wrong with spending time with someone who makes you feel good temporarily just because you’re a woman? Can we not be adults who make our own decisions? Why is this anyone else’s business?
Not only does this assume that true love is real, it assume that this is can be our one and only goal. No thank you, silly meme creators of Tumblr and Facebook. You do not know my wants. You cannot possibly imagine the vastness that is the human experience or the complexity of emotions and desires.
I know it’s a silly thing to be so frustrated with, but the very premise just rubbed me the wrong way.
I was recently reading Epiphora’s review of the Magic Wand, in which she examines the way that Vibratex is re-packaging the old favorite and how she has come to prefer the Hitachi.. at the right time. According to her, “the secret to the Hitachi is knowing when and how to use the Hitachi.” Epiphora’s review includes a list of when to use the Hitachi over other sex toys. The first four items on the list describe my masturbation style. Every. single. time.
Honestly, it wouldn’t occur to me that people masturbate in another way. I know they do. I’ve read the reviews. I just don’t get it. For me, masturbation is almost utilitarian. I do it to get off, not necessarily to feel good. It’s not that those two things are mutually exclusive but, for me, they’re not mutually inclusive.
I masturbate to get off. The sooner the better. If the orgasm doesn’t come easily, I’m almost frustrated by it. When it does come, I typically keep going to see how many I can get. I stop when I get bored.
Certainly, it might be more fun to reach for a Vixen dildo. But If I’m going to use a toy at all, it’s frequently a clitoral stimulator like Siri or Layaspot. I really have to put a lot of thought into a masturbation session if I’m going to use an insertable. This is why it takes so long for me to get around to reviews.
Now that it’s freezing — haha, no it’s not. It’s -8 — and the very idea of taking off my clothes and climbing into my frigid bed to masturbate? I don’t think so. We’re experiencing an especially cold winter, though. I don’t normally stop masturbating for six months out of the year.
But even when I have the option, I’ll probably opp to rub myself through my panties and pants. I don’t want to have to break out the lube or wash anything after. It’s about pressure not precision. I could certainly use something to apply that pressure — the Revel Body actually works better to get me off when it’s not even on because of this — but I usually don’t.
Perhaps if I kept more toys in the living room, within reach of the couch, I’ll use them more frequently. I can certainly stuff them in my hollow pillows. I could keep the Miracle Massager plugged in and ready to use at any time.
It does seem a little bit like a shame to own all these awesome sex toys and not do anything with them. And perhaps that’s why I’ve been in such a reviewing rut (and why I tend to find myself spending less time on sites like SexToys247 looking at new toys) . I truly don’t need more than one toy that does anything. I’m happy with one internal vibe, one clitoral vibe, one awesome dildo, one super-strong wand, et cetera.
Variety, it seems, is not the spice of my sex life.