I can dig this advertising/label gimmick on Sir Richard’s Condoms.
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Happy Birth Control Day!
November 13th, 2013
D.1 Larvikite Stone Dildo
November 12th, 2013
D.1 Larvikite Stone Dildo
$100.00
from Tabu Toys
You know how it takes you forever to write a post when you feel like a sex toy is just mediocre? Yea, that wasn’t the case with the D1 stone dildo. In fact, it’s the exact opposite. I liked it so much from the very beginning that I knew I wouldn’t be able to express it well enough.
It’s just that good.
It’s just that gorgeous, too. I took a photo almost immediately, which I posted to Twitter. There is this subtle blue texture to the stone that probably makes it the most attractive toy I’ve ever used. Sure, I’ve joked about keeping things on the mantle, but I mean it with this one.
You wanna come over and look at my dildo? Okay, but don’t touch because it’s mine.
The website describes it as “blue pearl,” but it’s almost got this smokey appearance. I’m sure that every dildo looks just a little bit different because of the material. Black Moonstone is something I’m sad not to have known before. The product description reads as follows:
a blue-gray hue with flecks of black and silvery, light-blue reflections that catch the light.
I kind of put off using this dildo for the first time because I was afraid it was going to be all form and no function. Yes, I liked the way it looked in my hands, but what if that’s all it was?
Fortunately, that’s not the case at all! In fact, I loved if. The heft and rigidity are perfect. It’s compact and not unwieldy. There’s a balance that makes it easy to use. G-spot aficionados will appreciate the gentle curve. It took literally zero effort to reach my G-spot. The pressure I was able to achieve made me squirt nearly instantly. I won’t promise thecar same to you but this is one effective dildo for me because I know that my G-spot likes pressure. The D1 didn’t disappoint.
You know another thing that I like? The packaging. Not because it’s all sort of fancy but because it’s a simply cardboard box that you can recycle. The focus is on the luxury toy, and that’s what I like. Seriously. Lelo needs to get on board with this. There’s supposed to be an included storage pouch, but I totally threw it away by accident if there is. Oops. I guess I was too busy eyeing up the stone.
Now, this dildo is also available in a bright pink silicone. However, the stone version costs less than $20 more, and I think that this is probably the better deal. If you don’t think you’ll like the weight, go ahead and opt for silicone, but I absolutely adore the stone dildo. And, let’s be honest, it’s far better looking.
While I haven’t handled the silicone version to compare, I feel at those the “creases” would feel sharper with that material. Stone is ungiving — and porous, yay! — but the ridges seem smoother than they would with silicone. I’ve used silicone with creases like that and they were painful.
I wasn’t worried about stone being too hard because I love glass. However, the one end definitely comes to more of a point, so you’ll want to be careful when inserting it. Unlike most glass dildos, the texture is smooth and slick all the way. It’s easy to insert with a little lube, and you can choose to use either end if you want. Size-wise, you’re looking at 8 inches — plenty to stimulate the G-spot and control the toy. However, I do find the squared end to be better for grasping. The pointed end might slip out of your hand if it’s covered in lube.
The other end is a bit more squared off, which might not be everyone’s cup of tea. The pointed end is also slightly narrower, and rigid materials like stone can often feel larger than they actually are. Of course, you hopefully know this and you want a toy like this one, which will last you forever. This toy falls to in the medium range. The description says the diameter is just under 1.5 inches, but my measurements come up a bit smaller than that. The squared end has a diameter of under 1.35 inches, but it’s not perfectly round. The pointed end is more like 1.20 inches.
Like glass, stone is cool to the touch. You may warm it with water, but it seems to stay cooler than metal, for example. I like this, but you may not be such a fan. Not every material it for every person.
Care-wise, you can wash it clean. The packaging claims it could break if dropped on the floor. I’d be extra careful with this beauty.
So where does this leave me in this review?
Would it be too cheesy for me to tell you to go get laid?
Yea, I’m going to do it anyway.
Get laid.
8 Comments
Sex Is Like Blogging
November 8th, 2013
I’ve been running away with the analogies today, so what better time to write the post that I’ve been mulling over in my mind?
Sex is like blogging or, rather, blogging is like sex.
I mean, I guess I’ve been blogging for longer than I’ve been having sex. Now, isn’t that kinda weird to say?
Back onto the topic at hand.
I’ve discussed with many people before how sex becomes more of a “necessity” the more you have it. This is true for me. When I have sex frequently, I want more sex more frequently. When it’s been a while, desire dies down a bit. I almost have to psych myself up to get back into the mood. Often, I do this and think “What have I been waiting for?”
Blogging is much the same. When I don’t blog for a while, I get bogged down with the idea that I “owe” my readers a blog post. I should get on it, so on and so forth. However, the longer I wait, the less likely I am to open up WordPress in my browser. Timely posts become too late to be important, or drafts sit in my dashboard for weeks or even months as a time.
It takes quite some convincing by the time I add a new post, and it’s usually because I feel as though an arbitrary amount of time has passed. However, when I blog and get into a groove, I can write three or four posts right away. The inspiration flows, and I don’t want to stop.
But when I’m going through those slow periods, I don’t remember this. I don’t have the passion or yearning.
Of course, blogging isn’t quite the same as sex. Sex falls into the category of necessity for me. Sex, when done right, fulfills needs that I didn’t even know that I had. Sex can even solve my biggest problem: my anxiety. Blogging doesn’t quite fulfill me that way. It’s a hobby that has perks, so it’s less likely that I’m going to stress out over my lack of activity in it.
So let’s extend this analogy a bit:
- When you’re really into sex or blogging, the result will be better for everyone involved.
- Sex is like blogging in that watchers make it more fun, and that it’s better to have fun, laughing content rather than serious.
- You get more out of it when you get something into it.
- Sometimes it’s easier to be vulnerable when blogging or having sex than it is during everyday conversation.
- There’s always more to both worlds than you realize initially.
- Anonymous sex and blogging can both be hot.
- Hell, you can make money from both.. and companies use both sex and blogging to sell products.
So, for you, how is sex like blogging?
2 Comments
Followup Reviews: Gigi 2 and more
November 4th, 2013
Lelo Gigi 2
Lelo Gigi 2
The folks at Lelo wanted to send me a new Gigi 2 after my review. They suggested that it was defective, so I now have a cherry-colored Gigi 2, too. That’s a weird sentence, eh? So I charged them both up to full power to compare. One thing I noticed is that the second one holds charge a lot better than the original one I received in grey. That one died after a couple tests and one use. There was no life in it, so I had to charge it just to compare.
The second Gigi 2 I received seems slightly stronger, but it’s still a pretty buzzy vibe all around. Lelo has definitely made better IMO.
Sheer Lace Top Thigh High Stockings With Backseam
I also have to report some serious disappointment with the thigh highs that I reviewed shortly ago. I put them on for testing purposes, intending to wear them for my Halloween party. When I slipped them on, without catching on anything, I got a huge run down one of the stockings. Despite the fact that I had leg warmers over them all night so there was no way for them to become (more) damaged, they were ripped to shreds and hanging off my feet in my shoes by the end of the night. Just.. no. Ugh.
I mean, I don’t expect these things to last forever but.. c’mon!
3 Comments
Pure Romance Is (Even More Of) A Scam!
October 31st, 2013
I’ve gone to my fair share of Pure Romance parties. The company seems to be the one that’s most prevalent in many places; although Passion Parties is another name that I know.
This isn’t the first time that I’ve written about sex toy parties. They can be a great deal of fun; although, that depends on who’s there and your consultant. The event might be right up your alley. I’ve had plenty of fun and made new friends at some of them, but others have been a little more lackluster.
However, my issue is with Pure Romance as a company, which doesn’t just sell you sex toys and bath and body items but sells you rebranded items that are marked up. I already knew this about the vibrators and such. As the rep went through the catalog, I recognized several pieces that I had tried by California Exotics. Marilyn was on the list, as well as a number of cheaper vibrators that were marked up 50 to 100 percent. Jaguar is a toy I wouldn’t recommend at $30 let alone $59.
The rep skipped right through the Diamond collection because “we didn’t have that much money,” but it was mostly Jopen products. The Wingman, for example, costs $189 from Pure Romance but the original in the Jopen Ego line is $110. Various items from the Key line are marked up $20 or more.
But, like I said, this is old news. I mostly go for the bath and body products, and I was curious about the pink cupcake scent that’s new. I love my pink cupcake products from Classic Erotica. As it turns out, they smell exactly the same because..
Holiday Products makes both Classic Erotica and Pure Romance.
Now, this could be convenient for some people, but the markup is ridiculous. Pure Romance brands both a shaving cream and a body mist, got $19 and $20, respectively. However, even sex toy vendors charge less than $9 for the body mist. Crazy Girl’s shave cream costs less than half the Coochy-branded cream and, yes, Coochy from either Classic Erotica or Pure Romance is essentially the same thing. The big different? The scents available and what products are there.
Both lines include Body Dew, but Pink Cupcake isn’t available from Classic Erotica. Similarly, not all of the Pure Romance products are available in the other brand. However, even if you can only get it from Pure Romance, you don’t have to buy it from a book party. You can usually hop onto Ebay and get it for much cheaper if you don’t mind waiting a few days for shipping.
However, that’s not the only issue I have with Pure Romance.
Consultants Are Not Given Enough Sexual Health Information and Some of That Information Is Plain Wrong
I don’t expect a sex toy party to be an eye-opening experience, but the last of information was pretty sad. For example, Pure Romance sells anal numbing and vaginal tightening creams, both of which are unhealthy. There’s no warning about them, of course. Plus, numbing creams actually negate you body’s natural response to pain (read more about this here). If it hurts, you’re doing something wrong. The consultant said as much.. right before she hawked the numbing products from the company.
And a warning about silicone lube and silicone toys? Nothing. Sure, she mentioned not to store your toys next to one another but not why. Pro tip: if you leave a jelly toy for long enough, it will leech mineral oil. No mention of using condoms and never using a porous toy that’s been used anally vaginally — ever again. She did mention that no silicone is ever clear, but I’ve seen some of the awesome stuff that Jollies made.
And when someone asked the difference between metal and silicone, she responded that silicone warms to body temperate and metal doesn’t. Actually, both can warm; although, metal feels quite cool if you haven’t prewarmed it, which you can do with warm water. Silicone is also available in a variety of firmness, which is what I wanted to say, but I knew it didn’t pay
Finally, I was absolutely appalled when the rep said that there was only one type of orgasm, and you’re stimulating the same party altogether. No, you are not. Mary Roach wrote a revealing article “The Immaculate Orgasm: Who Needs Genitals?” that’s in her own book and Best Sex Writing 2009. In it, she talks about research on women with spinal injuries who retain the ability to achieve one sort of orgasm but not the other because clitoral and G-spot orgasms trigger different nerves. Not only that, but saying that there’s only one type of orgasm negates all the experiences that women have had, the very women who are at a Pure Romance party to explore their sexuality. Negative comments can be permanently damaging to these women, and that’s just not cool.
Let’s not forget, once and for all, that..
Pure Romance is a pyramid scheme.
And it works only when you can guilt your friends into paying for products.
So let’s just be done with them. You can buy directly from manufacturers like LELO. Shop around online. PinkCherry always has amazing sales, and bloggers like myself are more than happy to write a review to set you on the right path.
1 Comment
The Post In Which I Have BV
October 29th, 2013
Last week, I called Family Planning because I am just so sick of bleeding all the time. You see, I’ve been having issues since April, and maybe I’m some sort of terrible person for not dealing with it, but I felt pretty confident that the NP would simply say it was a side effect of my Mirena.. even if I went six years without such problems before.
Color me surprised when she sounded just as confused as I was. I explained how I’d get my period every 30 days pretty much like clockwork. Then, my period would seemingly end. I’d be happy to stop using tampons and such. After a few days or a week, I’d start spotting for another week or so. This has happened consistently for months. I figured it might be my body adjusting — slowly — to the new IUD or Plan B, so I gave it time to even out. Last month, it stopped. I thought I was home free!! It was a lie. The “second period” spotting came back again, and I was just fucking done with it, so I made a call.
I supplied all the extra information, too. My period was heavier, especially when I first got my IUD, than it had been in some time. I had also taken Plan B toward the beginning of the year, which resulted in two periods, so it seemed like this could be some residual side effect. I’d taken many pregnancy tests since April, when I’d started sleeping with the bartender, and all were negative.
Like I said, the NP had no idea. She thought that it could be due to an infection: yeast, BV or chlamydia. Perhaps my monthly cycle is making it flare up more, I thought. At least all of those issues can be knocked out with a round of antibiotics. So she scheduled me for an appointment the next day.
I went in for an exam and things looked okay, maybe BV. The NP looked under the microscope and confirmed it. She sent me home with a week’s worth of antibiotics, warning that my tongue might become furred — whatever that means — and instructions not to have sex or drink. I literally said, “You’re killing me, smalls.”
I’ll take my last pill here shortly. Fortunately, I’ve had none of the side effects. Unfortunately, I’ve had no sex and no opportunity for it. I can only assume this round will clear up the infection that the NP found, but I had no other symptoms to begin with. Whether this will help the spotting that lasts for a whole freakin’ week every month is anyone’s guess.
I guess, though, it’s something to add to my done-it list. Now I’ve had an infection. Woo. Also, I got a pamphlet that tried to be ethnically diverse.
5 Comments
A Very Sexy Halloween with ILovesexy.com [Review]
October 27th, 2013
Cheetah-Licious Costume
$34.99 - $51.38
from Amazon
Cheetah-Licious Costume
I’m something of a crazy cat lady, so this costume made perfect sense for me. Unfortunately, it’s just not a perfect costume. It’s all about sizing, but even though I ordered mine, this isn’t super flattering. It’s due to the sizing. It runs snug. Think original Star Trek uniforms. This is so small/tight as to be a top, and it might look cute with some leggings. I’m not a legging person, however. I was really hoping to wear it with the petticoat but there’s just no room.
So let’s start from the bottom up. The furry border on the bottom barely covers my own bottom (maybe some booty shorts would look cute). This is standing up. There’s no way it’ll cover anything sitting down. I like to wear petticoats to help cover my ass with costumes, but it fits like a second skin, so there’s really no room.
This is snug around the midsection in a way that I find unflattering. Period. The velour material seems thinner than other costumes I’ve worn, so this only adds to the issue. The costume isn’t for you if your middle is your trouble section and you won’t wanna wear some Spanx.
This costume has some problematic.. spots
The breast area probably looked the best, but it’s not without its own issues. The neck is low and square, so my bra wanted to show. A demi or shelf cup would be best. Even though the top was tight around my breasts, there’s only C cups, so the lace didn’t pull apart as much as you’d expect. I think there’s simply a bit much material and a wider V cut would help with this. Mine came laces backward, with the bow on the bottom, but it’s easily fixed.
The neckline leads you to the hood, which is huge. You’ll see it in the photos. It hangs down over my nose. I didn’t have the help of a partner to take a picture of this, however. While you can wear it further back, the ears so of become lost. The ribbons and balls that hang down are for looks only. They do not actually adjust the hood, so keep that in mind.
The arms are probably my favorite part. Long sleeves can sometimes be quite flattering on me. These were snug but with enough room to move. The fur at the ends was cute, but be careful not to drag it in your party dip. I’m only 5’2 and these were a tad long, but they may be short for taller women.
Of course, on a taller woman this would literally be a hoodie, and that’s the problem. Plus sized costumes usually are longer — as is the case with the petticoat — but this one just isn’t. It makes me wonder how long the other sizes are. The measurements follow:
- Length (shoulder to hem): 32″
- Width at hem: 22″ flat
- Width breasts: 18″ flat
- Waist width: 16.5″
- Arm length: 23″
These numbers certainly don’t suggest an XL to me.
If I were to try to wear this, I’d go with leggings under the leg warmers, which are also kind of a fail. They run long on my 5’2″ frame but tight. The elastic around the top stretches to around 8 inches, but it feels super tight. I have muscular calves. Around the bottom, it’s open to cover your footwear — 11 inches flat. The leg warmers are just under 18 inches long. However, they’re more easy to adjust than the rest of the piece.
Thigh highs always look sexy
Sheer Lace Top Thigh High Stockings With Backseam
I experienced the same “issues” with the thigh highs as I do other plus-size items. I tend to fall directly between one size and plus size. So these went on easily. They sat against my skin nicely. They didn’t cut in, but they also weren’t snug enough to keep up. This was especially true with the first garter belt I used them with, which has longer straps. There was just too much slack in the garters, so I switched it out to another pair with shorter straps. This worked fine but, as you know if you’ve ever worn a garter belt with stockings, it’s just a pain to get them into place. Fortunately, I did this before Halloween, so I know which one to use when it comes down to it.
Although this comes with a large band, which I think is more flattering in curvier thighs, there’s no elastic backing. So you’ll definitely need garters to keep it up. The lace band measures about 8″ across unstretched. It stretches to at least 10″, but I don’t have a third hand so that’s a fuzzy estimate. As for length, I found these a little long to sit at mid-thigh with my shorts legs. At 5’2″ I’m definitely on the bottom range. The thigh highs weren’t quite as taut as I’d like them, so these would ideally fit someone a little wider in the thigh and taller for me. However, that’s really good news for anyone who’s a little higher up in the “plus” size range.
The appeal of these stockings is definitely the backseam. It’s super sexy, but hard to photograph by one’s self with such short arms. You’ll have to adjust it after you pull them on, even if you think you’re pulling them on straight. However, it’s super visually attractive.
I’d generally recommend these but with a few caveats. There won’t last more than a couple wearings, even if you handwash. The nylon is delicate, but that’s really the case with all thigh highs. There’s no reinforced toe, so it might be especially likely to rip or run there. Of course, I found that the mesh and lace got caught in my nails, which is hard to avoid when you have nails. However, my garters didn’t immediately put holes in the lace, which is good.
Petticoat: also long and fluffy!
I’ve already got a pretty pink petticoat that I love, so I knew what I wanted when it came to getting on in black. In short, I want fluffy! This petticoat has two layers to offer some fluff. A satin panel toward the top helps with modesty, too. I generally like it; however, it’s far longer than the product images. This is likely due to the fact that the product page uses the one size model, and the plus size is cut longer/larger.
For reference, the petticoat is about 17 inches long at the longest point. The satin panel is 5 inches. The waist measures 14 inches flat/unstretched. There’s a lot of stretch to be had in this, so while it fits me almost loosely, it’ll go up to the 1x or 2x range, too, I’d think.
As for length, you can simply roll up the elastic band or pull it up higher if you’re wearing it under something else. That’s what I did.
