What Sex Toy Retailers Can Learn from the EdenFantasys Scandal

October 13th, 2013

Let me preface this article by explaining which scandal I am talking about because there are many. EdenFantasy has been doing wrong by employees, clients, manufacturers and reviewers for years. But several months ago, the owner “discovered” there was barely enough revenue left to keep the company afloat. He fire all the employees and shut down all the clubs and programs, including Sexis and EdenCafe, that had been going on. He, then, decided to cut how many points — points that contributors had earned — that contributors could put toward their orders. This resulted in a strange “point consideration proposal” by Fred who literally and liberally berated the community for abusing the system that he had championed for years.

I quote:

You will be asked to submit a reconsideration request. It is optional. If you chose not to participate, your points will remain as they are now.
We review the submission manually and decide whether your points will be restored or completely erased.

All your points (or converted Gift Cards) will be cancelled and removed if company finds that you accumulated 500 points or more by intentionally abusing the system.

EdenFantasys is not a store you an trust!

Around this time, many products were “discontinued.” Reviews and orders were being canceled left and right. Some, mind included, took months to get out. Anyone who wanted to buy something was hard-pressed to do so. Affiliates who had reached their payouts were not — and some still haven’t been, 5 months later — paid. During this whole thing, Fred refused, and then denied when I brought it up, to discuss or admit the state of the company. He banned many contributors and limited the accounts of others, myself included. However, many of the previous employees began to speak up about how this was just the cherry on top of the shit sundae.

Reviewers and shoppers who wised up by reading posts like mine left in droves, many opening up a blog for the very first time. Others took to Twitter and other review/affiliate programs in light of Fred/EdenFantasys’ policies.  SheVibe opened their own forum.

There’s no doubt that it’s a ridiculous scandal and one that could have been completely avoided. It hurt the company and left the community scarred and fragmented, but that’s not all there is to it. Eden’s fallacies are absolutely a lesson that other companies can — and should — learn from. This is far from a cohesive list, so I encourage you to add your thoughts in the comments. I may even add them to this post. The scary part is how many of these facts are simply common sense.

Business Management

  • Don’t turn a blind eye to things like the bills. They don’t go away. Quite the opposite. They pile up, and you ruin your reputation with consumers, manufacturers and other companies with whom you have a relationship. When it gets to the point that the company needs to be shut down or sold immediately because you ignored or tried to deny away the problem for months or even years, there’s no one to blame but yourself.
  • Yes, you have to spend money to make money. No, you shouldn’t spend thousands or millions of dollars on projects that don’t bring in money and ultimately bleed the company dry. Yes, working with bloggers can yield positive results. No, it shouldn’t be your only end game.
  • Don’t blame the customers for your bad business practices. This falls under the “there’s no one to blame but you” category, but I’ll talk about it more anyway. Don’t blame customers for taking advantage of programs or sales that you created.
  • It’s such a sleazy thing to base your business on the idea that you will make deals with others. That you will slip them something a little extra under the table or that you’ll bow to their demands to appease them, especially if you’re hurting your customer in the process.
  • Don’t try to do it all. Even if you have the best of intentions, you can’t do it all. You just can’t. Determine what you can do and do it well rather than spreading yourself too thin. Otherwise, you wind up starting clubs and giveaways and blogger outreach. The best case scenario is that it works with a few hiccups or that it doesn’t, and you can gracefully back out. Sometimes people will understand. On the other hand, if you don’t realize that you’re setting yourself up for failure, you might make a bunch of promises that you can’t deliver on, which may result in some unhappy customers.
  • Treat your employees well because they are what make your company run. They may be the face that customers see. They have the power to testify against you in court and to tell your dirty little secrets.

Community

  • When you reward your contributors for listing pros and cons about things, they’ll do the same for your company. It’s not about bloggers, it’s about pissing off vocal people. And bloggers will talk — even Metis Black mentioned how quickly the network works a CatalystCon West —  partly because we like to talk to begin with, but it’s more than that. I feel as though I owe readers the truth, whether it’s about a a toy or a company. I feel an obligation to tell buyers that a company isn’t reputable. As a blogger, I feel a sense of community with my fellow bloggers, and I want to help protect them from companies that will take advantage of them. So it’s my job to talk about it on this blog, on Twitter, on Tumblr, on Facebook or on your forum. Wherever I can talk about what you did wrong, I will. It’s not about you. It’s not petty vengeance. It’s about raising awareness of wrongdoing.
  • This leads me to my next point: don’t lie. The truth always comes out. Either you wind up telling bigger lies to cover up the succession of untruths, you get caught in the act or you wrong a person whom you trusted with your secret, and the truth comes out. The truth always comes out. Can you deal with that?
  • People don’t react to change well, especially not if it’s sudden. Yes, you may have to change the focus or programs that your company has. If you do it all at once, people will complain because they’ve become accustomed to a certain lifestyle. You can attempt to smooth things over by explaining why you have to change, and even though you don’t have to explain how your company works or what you’re doing, a little transparency goes a long way. When you start lying, even if it’s just by having shady practices, people stop trusting you.

And that trust? Yea, it’s kind of important when you use marketing campaigns about how people can trust you.

 

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Platinum Edition G-Bliss

October 12th, 2013

This is a weird vibe, and not for any reasons that you’d notice on the outside. It looks like a slew of other vibes that CEN has released before. But the features — of lack there of — are kinda weird. You see, there’s no steady vibration, and while my G-spot certainly responds to pulsation, I generally prefer the sensation of steady vibrations.

What you have instead are escalation like an airplane, escalation like a race car, escalation like a car that’s about to break down, pulsation like a bumblebee, fast pulsation, longer pulsations, fast-fast-slow pulsation and something that I’m pretty sure is Morse code.

Some of them just seem too similar for me, and while the pulsation is decent due to the power source — 2 AAs — I don’t want fancy. I can’t bring myself to care that this is waterproof when it doesn’t do what I want outside of the water. I just want what works. This is all controlled by heart-shape buttons. Gag me, and not in the erotic way.

I also found that the shaft doesn’t work for me. It’s just under 1 1/4 inches wide, and I feel like I want something bigger these days. The little wave on the shaft doesn’t extend enough to reach the clit, so it’s just for looks, but I’m not sold on the look of this vibe.

The target demographic is just not me. It also seems like this toy is geared toward beginners with its price tag of less than $25. In fact, it really seems like a step down from some of the company’s recent efforts, which use silicone and rechargeable vibrators. There are words embossed on the base about recycling and such, information that’s on the box and certainly doesn’t need to be on the toy itself. The use of this translucent TPR seems like a way to produce a cheap toy, especially after this recent discussion about TPR on Twitter, but this is ultimately one of those toys that I would advise shoppers to get only if they’re not absolutely sure that they like toys.

 

CEN Sexpert

 

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Make love to your long distance lover online

Revive EnerG Review and Giveaway

October 11th, 2013

I just got off the phone with Cinnamon, and we laughed as I said that I didn’t need another G-spot vibe. I really don’t. At this point, it either works or it doesn’t. I could sum up all my reviews in two or three words if I really wanted to.

Except for this one. What makes the EnerG the exception? I’m going to guess it’s the dual motors and the specific patterns that my G-spot seems to respond to, but let me backup.

It’s yellow. Bright freakin’ yellow with a tinge of green. It’s a brighter version of the pistachio green than my new Layaspot came in. It’s exactly the type of color for someone who hates pink. Also, I kinda like the box with its greens and purples. It’s modern, but it could do without the forever-happy chick laughing on the side. If you took that away, I’d really like the packaging, which is recyclable and easy for me to forget about.

One thing that I didn’t forget about was the bag it comes with. It’s this super smooth microsuede type fabric with bright yellow ribbons to cinch it. However, after I popped the vibrator into the bag for a few days, there were dark spots on the silicone when I pulled it out. It’s like wearing a brand new pair of jeans that turn your legs blue. It doesn’t mean you can’t use it, but it certainly makes the vibrator less pretty to look at as you can see in the picture below. I have a leper vibe, now.

The newer vibes do not ship with this bag for this very reason, though.

Dye spots on the Energ

Dye spots on the EnerG

 

This is also a good shop of the design of the toy. There’s a G-spot curve and a silver band toward the base, which gives it a rather attractive appearance overall in my opinion. It’s not a gigantic vibrator by any means. It’s 7.5-inches long overall, with about 5 inches are insertable. The vibe curves and flattens out in different ways. Toward the base, it’s flatter — think the Minna Ola — and about 2 inches wide, though you may not fully insert the toy at this point. The G-spot curve is narrower across but about 1.5 inches wide through the front and back.

I found it comfortably filling. The silicone, while flexible, has a density that lends to this sensation. The curve worked well for me, and it was easy to use. The red backlight under the buttons, which have audible and tactile feedback, makes them super easy to see. You could almost use it as a flashlight in the dark.

One button powers it on, the other cycles through settings. Blush describes this as having seven functions. There’s a high and low steady vibration from both the motors — the one in the tip and the around the silver band. There’s usually three settings on vibes, so keep this in mind. They are of medium strength but quite buzzy. The other five settings are a slow pulsation, long pulsation, fast pulsation, a pulsation back and forth between the two motors and fast pulsation of both motors.

The regular pulsation is pretty typical, and the single motor isn’t impressive by itself. While I didn’t enjoy the steady vibration from both vibes simultaneously, my G-spot really responded to the back-and-forth sensation. I found myself squirting more forcibly and.. with more length than I ever have. It was a surprising but fun shock.

I can’t make any promises for anyone else, but with a price of just over $60, this rechargeable vibrator is quite the deal. When it comes to charging, there’s a port on the bottom and a thick cover that protects it from water. The charger that this comes with is USB, and it comes with its own adapter. I am liking USB-powered vibes.

With that said, one of the readers at Of Sex and Love will have a chance to win their very own EnerG. Good luck!

Revive EnerG Giveaway

Follow the prompts in the widget below to enter. I’ll contact the randomly-generated winner for shipping information. I am not responsible for prize fulfillment.

Click here if the widget doesn’t load.

Giveaway is open to US and international residents where shipping is allows and ends November 10.

Blush-assorted-toys

8 Comments


Crisis

October 9th, 2013

I am having a blog identity crisis.

Halp.

5 Comments


Get up to 30% off at MysteryVibe

L1 Love Balls

October 1st, 2013

I don’t care what anyone says. If you can’t tell whether you’ll like a toy after the first use, you’re doing it wrong. In fact, sometimes I know so well how much I hate an item, that I put the review off for ages. That’s what happened with L1 Love Balls, a product from Ovo. If you’ve been paying attention to the airwaves, then you’ll know I really like the designs of these toys, but they seem to be all form and no function.

So I put off the review of these kegel balls because, to put it plainly, I fuckin’ hate them.

Logistically speaking, they’re a mess. So let’s break it down so we can clean it up.

This is a system with different weighted balls that go into a silicone sling. The balls themselves are silver and a purple, translucent plastic. The purple gives an excellent idea of how these work as you can see the inner balls. Of course, you can also see the seams, and this makes them feel a little cheap. Once it’s in the holder, you can’t see them, but I’d rather have a single-piece silicone pair in terms of appearance/construction alone. However, I’d really like not to have to mess with these swappable balls because the stretchy silicone sling is soooo awkward to work with. I really have to pry at it. I don’t know if it’s because of the specific shape of the holder, but the balls are a bitch to get in and out. It’s much easier to do this with the Luna Beads. If you don’t align them perfectly, there are awkward gaps between the balls and the holder. If the holder was simply a round, even band that was a little thinner (exactly like Luna Beads) this wouldn’t be such a problem.

So I just used the lighter purple balls in the kegel exercise the first time I tried the L1 balls. And they fucking hurt. I had one hell of a time trying to get them up past my pubic bone, which is rather pronounced and has caused me to dislike toys (including the kGoal by Minna) so I settled with inserting one and letting the other sort of hang out. Now, this isn’t uncommon. Many people have trouble with kegel balls being simply too large. However, these really aren’t any bigger than the K-balls, which I do like.

L1 Balls and Ophoria K-balls

L1 Balls and Ophoria K-balls

It was just a few minutes before these ones started pinching when I sat, and they pretty much slipped right out as I headed to take them out. I had also become incredibly annoyed by the long silicone cord attached to them. It’s the longest of any kegel balls I’ve ever owned. How long? 5.5 inches. You’ve probably seen dicks longer than that. So long, in fact, that it kept slipping out the sides of my panties. Sexy.

My cat’s trying to chew on it right now. I guess that’s one use for it.

Anyway, I put them away for quite a while in an attempt to work up the gall to put the other balls in and try again. Let me tell you, I was almost ready to give up before I had even swapped the balls out. Ugh. I gave the L1 balls more than a once over this time around, too. I noticed there’s some stupid plastic “gem” thing at the end of the cord, which is simply ridiculous. At the best, you don’t notice them. Otherwise, it’s uncomfortable.

So I pop in the kegel balls with the weightier silver balls in them and experienced the same terrible discomfort. They pressed against my G-spot in a most uncomfortable way. I wanted to get them out of me as soon as possible. So I did.

To be fair, I haven’t regularly used kegel balls in quite some time, so I got out my K-balls to see whether I just hate them all together. I took a comparison photo, so you can see that the sizes are comparable. I slipped the K-balls in, expecting to hate them. I didn’t. They felt fantastic. Having ruled out that I don’t hate all vag balls, I took a closer look at the two pairs to determine what was making me hate them.

There are some serious differences that matter to me:

L1 love balls aren’t straight. The balls come together in a lazy “V” angle. When I try to insert them, they want to go one way, but I need them to go another way. I really need a straight set of balls. Secondly, the flexible connector between the Lv balls is much shorter than that of the K-balls, which also affects how it bends — or doesn’t bend — when inserted. Overall, this leads to an uncomfortable sensation.

Even if it was comfortable and I could stand to wear them for long enough to get any benefit from them. But that’s okay because..

I need to call bullshit on this whole two-sets-of-weights things. It’s all hogwash. It’s pointless. It’s a marketing gimmick. Don’t buy into it. It’s not just that it’s a hassle, it’s also that there’s not really any proof that it does anything. I’m kind of sick of companies coming up with faux features to lure consumers in. Don’t buy into it guys, and don’t buy these kegel balls.

3 Comments


Things I Hope to Explore Sexually

September 29th, 2013

AKA part of my sexual bucket list (but not everything).

Threesomes

I always figured that my ex-husband and I would get to some point where we were comfortable to invite other people into our bedrooms, sexually at first and the, perhaps, emotionally. That was obviously a pipe dream with him, but now that I’m not longer married to him, it could become a reality. Not only is the feminine form incredibly alluring, I’m a self person who wants to experience vaginal and clitoral stimulation simultaneously in a way that only two people are going to be able to satisfy.

Exibitionism

Show and Tell

Now, I’m not so bold that you’ll see me on a cam site like PerfectCam (bless the thousands of souls who do that have confidence!) but I do like performing for people — visually and vocally. It’s why I enjoy phone sex, and it’s why I spend so much time pleasuring myself for others to watch. In the same vein, I enjoy watching and hearing. The fact that I don’t necessarily mind having sex while others are nearby or I could get caught is somewhat related.

(Me in) Bondage

Part of me could never really let go with my ex. I wasn’t able to submit in any reason because I didn’t trust him to. The thing is, I need to do that. I have to be able to let go sometimes. Sex already helps a lot because it’s one of the few activities where I stop counting, worrying and comparing. I just enjoy. Even activities like video games and reading don’t offer the same kind of relaxation. But when I’m in a situation where I am not in control and I’m safe? I am free to just be. So happy that  I could cry, and sometimes I will.

And Serious Impact Play

I’ve got a whole closet of things that I’ve never gotten to use. It’s such a bummer. I guess I just want to get my money’s worth, no matter who’s on the receiving end. A little pain and blood isn’t much when it comes to a lot of pleasure, is it?

Sex.. Everywhere

My sexual repertoire has mostly taken place in a bed, in my own bed. Now, I love my bed. It’s a great place for my under the bed restraints, after all. I want sex in public places, mere feet away from other people, in cars, on cars, outside, on a boat. All the places where I might be with someone who can’t keep their hands off of me.

I suppose it could be wishful thinking, but I really do see myself being able to do most of these things with the bartender. That’s one of the reasons why he’s so appealing. Even if he’s not involved, I’m certainly grateful for the second chance that I seem to have received.

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Bondage Bear

September 29th, 2013

Okay, Sulley isn’t a bear per se, but I like the alliteration. I took this picture as a fun way to show the bartender that I’d set up my under the bed restraints, one of the first things I ever received to review. I liked them but had no reason to set them up when I wasn’t having sex.

This is the result.

bondage bear

Of course, it piqued his interest. And I decided to develop the series. Not only is it hilarious and oh-so-me, but it’s a good way to show him what I have!

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