Want to Advertise on a Sex Toy Review Blog? Read This First

May 22nd, 2012

I am so incredibly grateful for the retailers, communities, video sites and other advertisers who have decided to purchase text or banner links on my website. It really helps pay the bills and lets me have a few extra dollars of expendable cash. However, sometimes the process of working with an advertiser can be pretty frustrating and awkwardly drawn out. I know that my fellow bloggers feel the same, and sometimes this is only because advertisers may not be familiar with working with individual bloggers like myself. Sometimes your offer is just not worth my time and effort for the money, and I think that says a lot. While I am grateful for your money, my time is valuable to me, too.

If you’re thinking about buying advertising for me, it’ll go a lot more smoothly if you keep these things in mind.

Price

When it comes to price, we expect a little bit of negotiating, but don’t be rude. Our space and time are important, and you shouldn’t pit us against other bloggers. It’s, quite simply, disgusting.

Furthermore, you should know how much you want to spend before you contact us. If we absolutely can’t agree on a price, stop wasting our time and let us know (see above).

Communication

If you want us to trust you, use an actual company email address. Better yet, we should be able to verify you work for a brand or its marketing agency on the brand website.

Be courteous in your messages and reply on time. We know things come up, but everyone should act professionally. If we have to send multiple emails, we will be annoyed. You would be, too.

Do not tell us you’ll get back to us “within a day” and not come through with it. You look like someone who can’t do his job properly.

Don’t give us the runaround about how you have to contact so-and-so. Just do it and then get back to us with the pertinent information.

Content and Anchor Text

When it comes to reading, take the time to read our blogs. Sure, I’ve listed a few anchors that aren’t exactly sex toys, but there are some topics that just don’t make sense for me to be writing about or linking to on Of Sex and Love.

Consider something other than “sex toys” as the anchor text. I understand the SEO value, but now more than ever, you want relevant links like your store or website name.

Payment

Pay promptly, whether it’s a one-time payment or a recurring plan. We shouldn’t have to nag you like a child.

Bloggers don’t typically fill out W9s, especially for payments less than $600.

Don’t send payment for renewed advertising if we haven’t agreed on it.

Miscellaneous

Even if your “sex toys” link makes perfect sense on my blog, you might not get links or sales. This isn’t my fault. You’re not paying for guaranteed clicks, just a link.

On that note, just because a blogger offers a sidebar link, doesn’t mean she will do sponsored posts. I do, but I may be the exception and not the rule.

As a blogger, we’re happy to talk about advertising. If you’re a sex toy shop, you might wonder if we also want to review. Please ask us before sending us toys. We may not want to review for you. Advertising and reviewing are two separate business interactions.

I may not own The New York Times, but I obviously have something to offer, if you’re interested in advertising. Be kind, be polite, and consider how you’d feel if you were in my shoes. A little courtesy always goes a long way.

3 Comments

Categories: Articles

Tantus Acute

May 20th, 2012

Tantus Acute

Tantus Acute
$35.99 from SheVibe

Sometimes, there are things that you just don’t get from a product page. In the case of the Acute, a silicone dildo by Tantus, it’s all about size and texture. I always thought that this dildo was a lot bigger than it is. I tend to pay more attention to pictures than measurements, so I was pleasantly surprised after removing it from its package.

This little G-spot dildo is, well, little. With a total of 6″, five of which are insertable, it isn’t intimidating in the least. Plus, it only has a diameter of 1.25″ at its largest. This makes it great for people like me with picky cervixes. I don’t want to say this is necessarily good for beginners, but it might be the better option for an intro to anal play — if the length is long enough for that.

What also makes this piece appealing to me is its flexibility. It’s not the Super Soft because it uses a regular silicone treatment. It is, however, much softer than the Goliath. The silicone reminds me a lot of the Delta, but it’s thicker, so you have more control. For example, I can bend the base back during insertion to make it press toward my G-spot/front vaginal wall, but it’s still plenty firm enough that I can thrust effectively.

This one works as a G-spotter for me, but it might not for you if you required more girth, length or pressure. The head, although bulging slightly, it’s realistically contoured, nor does it offer a pronounced ridge or lip. Similarly, the curve is quite relaxed, unlike some G-spot toys. It’s also harness-compatible for vaginal or anal sex but, as I mentioned, it might be a little short for penetration from behind.

I got mine in the pearly white, which I love. There are more colors, but white doesn’t have gender connotations. It doesn’t quite seem the same shade all the way through. It’s almost marbled, but the purple seems to be even more so.

I notice that the base acts like a suction cup, especially when it’s wet. That adds a bit more function, but I prefer for G-spot stimulation while I’m lying down. This way, I can easily stroke and the Acute, although slimmer than some, was an effective G-spot toy. There isn’t the hole for a tiny vibrator, like Tantus offes in some of their dildos.

Overall, this is a good toy. It doesn’t necessarily provide anything more than any other toy I have, nor do it in a ground-breaking way, but my cervix does appreciate the combination of softness and shortness. I’m not sure if I would prefer this over my Faerie, however, but I don’t think Tantus is making that one anymore.

1 Comment

Categories: Dildos, Reviews

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Kissable Lace Babydoll & G-string

May 7th, 2012

Kissable Lace Babydoll & G-string

Kissable Lace Babydoll & G-string

This is an archived review of a discontinued item. 

This review has been a long time coming and.. well, er.. I don’t know why. I think it’s because I just really didn’t like it in person and, in hindsight, I’m not sure why I thought I would like it. I guess I thought the Kissable Lace Babydoll & G-string looked kind of elegant in the product image but, in person, that lace just looks cheap and tacky. It’s all “I’m a Halloween store up in here? Would you like some black lipstick with that, Adriana?” And I’m all “Shut up about my teenaged years, you’re a hunk of fabric.”

Not much fabric, really,which is my second problem. This is one size but, like my recent Coquette experiments, is too small around my 38″ ribcage. In fact, this one seems smaller than the other chemise. I’d recommend it for 36″ at the most. I’m thinking that someone in the 32-34″ range would be better. Because the waistband is just a thin piece of elastic, it cuts into the skin as you get closer to the top of that range and, “fits up to 48-inches”? Coquette, you’re a fucking liar. There is NO way in hell this is going to fit beyond 40″. This is truly a one-size-fits-few piece.

So, I do like the cups. I love the black lace over the red triangle pieces and they’re less discount-Goth feeling. The lace extends on the side in a way that I could do without but don’t hate. There’s a cute little red bow in the center. It’s definitely feminine. They’re also pretty small, at least, they seemed smaller on me than the model. With just the thin elastic, you can’t much count on any support. Again, Coquette has made the mistake of using in inflexible ribbon for the straps, which I don’t feel is really going to stay put when you move the adjusters. In fact, I like elastic straps; I feel like they support me better.

The lace from the waist down is free flowing, so ideally it would suit different body shapes if, you know, the top wasn’t so damned tight. It’s not very long at all, though. It really barely meets the hips, as you can see on the model. It’s this giant floral and mesh motif that is just not pretty.

The G-string isn’t the cheapest thing ever. It features the same lace overlay on the front panel, with a centered red bow. The G-string runs just as small as the babydoll, however, and is mostly elastic. I didn’t spend enough time with either piece to have to launder it, but I don’t think you’ll want to put it in the machine unless you at least use a lingerie bag. Hand washing would probably be preferable. The set is 100% nylon, which the Internet says can be washed in warm water and tumbled dry on low. I threw out the box because.. it’s lingerie and it doesn’t need to come in a fucking box that is made of more material than the product in it!

So is this kissable? If it’s some sort of kissing my ass on the way out the door, then yes. If you’re the 1% you might like it but, if you have any reservations, please get something less shitty than this.

8 Comments

Categories: Lingerie, Reviews

Tantric 10-Function Chakra Massager

May 3rd, 2012

Tantric Chakra Pink 10 Function

Tantric Chakra Pink 10 Function
from

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

There are those who say that a good bullet is something that everyone should have in their collection. I’m kind of a picky beast, but this one goes out to them. The new Tantric line of toys by California Exotics caught my eye. The pink and black is my kind of girly and there’s this element of filigree or something similar that’s really up my alley.

With this little bullet, which is larger than the ones by Tantus but more cylindrical than an egg, this design feature is on the handle. It looks like a solid layer of pink with black plastic wrapped around it. You can see through to the pink plastic through the open areas in the design, which are cut out. Now, if this was on the toy itself, I’d be a little wary of using it because of cleaning, but it’s not. Worked into the handle is a soft heart-shaped button. It’s actually kind of discreet, but you don’t need instructions to read it. This only adds to its feminine appeal.

The bullet itself is removable from the battery pack with that little jack. I’m not one to switch power sources and I do like the color theme, so this isn’t useful for me. It might be for you. This, paired with the battery cap, makes for a toy that’s not waterproof in the least. The cap screws off from the end of the pack but it’s the style that slides into place and only turns a little bit — like the Layaspot and a few other toys. I prefer a cap that fully screws on.

To its credit, the 2AAAs that power this pack a surprising punch; although, the vibrations are on the buzzy side. The pulsations were pretty impressive and there were multiple strengths of the same pulsation, which I liked. I’m not usually one for patterns but it worked with this bullet. Not all the patterns were as impressive to me.

The steady vibration left a little to be desired, though. It starts on the highest setting and goes down from there. Very few vibrations do that. I don’t want that. Consumers don’t want that. Although the highest setting is okay for a bullet, power queens are going to tired of it and want more, only to go “WTF?!”

After playing with this one for a while, my vulva felt all sorts of buzzy afterward. Although I did get off, it was mostly from a lot of boring into my pubic bone and less because of the bullet itself.

The bullet has a weird circumference seam around a quarter from one end. I can’t feel it in use, but it’s odd. While I do like the velvet cote in my hand, I also can’t feel it in use. The plastic does make clean-up a breeze but, like I said, be careful with the water.

Tantric 10-Function Chakra Massager doesn’t come with any accessories, but that’s not the end of the world. Just toss it in your nightstand or bag, and you needn’t even worry about lint.

11 Comments

Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

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Intimacy

May 1st, 2012

What I miss most about being in a relationship is not the sex but the physical intimacy. I miss cuddling and holding hands. I miss soft kisses on my shoulders, neck, and back. I miss being so close and comfortable with someone that when he walks up and puts an arm around your shoulder, a hand at the small of your back, or rests his chin on your shoulder, you don’t even flinch or blink. I am so incredibly envious of couples who are able to do this, of people who take this for granted. I hope that I never forget how easily that can be taken away and, if given the chance. I know I’ll be more grateful for it in the future.

It’s so hard, and I know this is part of the reason I have such a hard time getting over the Hot Nerd. If I wrote him off, I was also writing off cuddles, the physical touch that I so badly need. Even if we lay together in each other’s arms for hours, I’m not even to the point where my need is even beginning to be sated. I crave touch so badly, but not any touch, a caring touch. Intimate touches. I physically feel the absence of touch, and if it doesn’t physically hurt, it stings emotionally.

1 Comment

Categories: Everything Else

Kissable Chemise

April 14th, 2012

Kissable Chemise

Kissable Chemise

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

In a recent review, I talked about how I am in between Coquette’s OS and queen size. It’s frustrating. The leopard babydoll was too big, but this chemise just runs too small on me. Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem to be available in plus size, so I was really hoping to make this one work. I should have known better as it’s form fitting, but I really like the design.

The Kissable chemise actually doesn’t look quite as bad as I’d expect, and that’s due to the material around the midsection and behind. It’s a slightly sheer nylon material that’s thicker than it looks in the pictures. On me, it’s not nearly as sheer. The material has some stretch, but it’s also thick enough to hug my curves like a dress and is slimming. Even though my curves still show in a somewhat less-than-flattering way, I was far less self conscious than I expected.

Then there’s the boobs.The lace that covers the boobs is cut flat along the waistline and it looks SO much bigger on the model than it actually is. At the tallest, the cups measure just 6″. I need far more material to cover my C-cups. The result is that they’re squished to my chest, making me look much smaller than I actually am. This is a shame, because it’s really the top portion of this that attracted me. There’s three vertical stripes of ribbon that add a bit of visual flair over the floral lace. This is arranged to cover the model’s nipples, but in real life, it’s less practical than that. I feel like my boobs would have looked better if they were perfectly round implants.

Let me give you an example of sizing. Flat, this measures 13″ at the bust and 18″ at the bottom hem, which is the widest part. To say it fits a 40″ hip is a stretch, literally. From the waistband to the hem, it’s 18″ long, give or take half an inch. This is pretty common, but it definitely seems to sit higher on me than on the model. It’s a barely-covering-my-ass kinda deal. This might not be the case with less curvy women, of course, but the material is probably stretched pretty far on the model. Although this piece stretches a bit past that, but not as much to truly make this one size. A 26″ bust is actually smaller than Coquette’s XS. If I had to resize this, I’d call it a S/M. It’ll work on very proportionate larges, but it’s definitely cut far smaller than the OS label suggests.

So the quality on this is better than I expected, considering how much I had to struggle to get in and out of it. I wouldn’t bother hand washing it if you have a lingerie bag. However, it seems like the entire kissable line used thin ribbons instead of elastic shoulder bands, and I hate this! The adjusters on the straps slip because there’s no friction on the straps, and the straps don’t offer the stretchiness that I like.

This piece comes in a box, FYI. Hate that. So wasteful.

This is one piece that I’ll probably keep around a while, in hopes that I drop some weight and can pull it off. I might even consider wearing it as a slip, beneath a dress. I would absolutely buy it in queen size, though. For now, I hope someone who is considering buying this will be steered in the right direction because of my frustrations.

4 Comments

Categories: Lingerie, Reviews

Make love to your long distance lover online

Why Dona’s Marketing Misses the Mark

April 10th, 2012

Since I do a lot of shopping online, I like to know as much as I can to determine that I actually want to buy what I’m looking at. I want to know about size and fit and strength, and I do not want to have to send something back because shipping is inconvenient and frequently expensive. However, System Jo seems to want to make it harder than ever to shop. “How?” you ask. I’ll tell you. They come out with an entire line of products that uses descriptions that any normal consumer would think refer to their scents but, no, these are the aphrodisiacs with which each product is infused:

  • acai
  • blue lotus
  • camu camu
  • goji berry
  • mangosteen
  • pomegranate

Never mind the fact that aphrodisiacs are a bunch of BS or that the company’s official statement is to refuse to describe the scents because they want consumers to experience it for themselves. Boy, have we been doing that. None of the Dona products I’ve tried smell anything like the aphrodisiac and most of them have smelled downright awful. I would have saved a lot of time and frustration if I had known that the pomegranate products smell nothing at all like pomegranate.

I find it difficult to believe that I am the only one who feels this way, either. It’s like System Jo is actually making it harder for consumers to find a product that suits them. However, if they had at least tried to describe scents, we’d have a much better idea about which product might suit our tastes or smells as it were. Now, I’d pretty much have to assume all consumers should stay away from all of Dona’s products because they can’t be sure if their powerful smells will be agreeable or cause them headaches. Plus, $10 is a lot more than your $2.50 bottle of body wash from the local drug store, which you actually can smell before you buy.

The good news is, I have a bunch of Dona products that I don’t really like, and I wouldn’t have to deal with if it weren’t for this brilliant marketing move.

1 Comment

Categories: Everything Else

Image © MisterUnlucky; used with permission.