L’Amour Passion “G”

April 14th, 2011

L’Amour Passion "G"
N/A

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

Can I be honest here?

Cal Exotics should take a cue from some of the boutique companies that make few toys but make them well. CEN just keeps pumping out toy after toy and I can’t even tell them apart anymore. The L’Amour “G” is highly reminiscent of the Couture Collection, and the name is a mouthful and a bitch to search for on their site. In short, there is absolutely nothing remarkable about this vibrator unless you count fact that it uses 2 AAs rather than AAAs.

The box and website describe a “[c]ontemporary intimate high quality massager” that features seven functions of vibration, pulsation, and escalation while remaining quiet. The functions are easy to use: one button is a dedicated power switch, while the other cycles through the settings. A light appears by the buttons when the toy is on to help you see but why it is red is beyond me. A nice white would better match and appeal to my sense of aesthetics.

In terms of shape of size, it’s a rounded, typical insertable vibrator. There are some grooves that run lengthwise to offer additional stimulation but sort of just look like the mold was mis-shapen. The plastic base and buttons are white with silvery details. The shaft is straighter than some might like; although, the silicon offers some flexibility. Of course, those you like firm G-spot stimulation might find that to be a hindrance to their enjoyment. The L’amour Passion G is 6.75” in insertable length, with a 1.5” diameter. It’s a decent, mid-sized vibrator that isn’t overly intimidating. The soft blue is also quite welcoming in appearance.

Like every other CEN toy I’ve ever seen, this one is waterproof. That usually doesn’t win me over, though. I’m not much for playing in the bathroom but if you are, this might be a plus. This is also a characteristic that all the non-rabbit, L’amour vibrators seem to share and none of the shapes are necessarily varied enough that I would recommend one over the other. Like every other vibrator, CEN states this is quiet. Whisper quiet? I think not. You don’t need to hold it to your ear to hear it. Will it wake the neighbours? No but.. eh.

The price point for this entire line also seems ridiculously high. For such a basic piece, I couldn’t really recommend this, especially to someone who’s just getting into sex toys. For a few more bucks, you can get something rechargeable by Fun Factory.

Maybe I’m just super jaded but the L’amour Passion G is just utterly forgettable. I don’t see why California Exotics needs two lines of remarkably similar silicone vibrators.

CEN Sexpert

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Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Little Su Natural

April 11th, 2011

Little Su Natural

Little Su Natural

This is an archived review of a discontinued item.

I was attracted to the Little Su by Joya as soon as it was released. I was, at that time, really into dual-stimulation products, and the novelty of a dual-stim dildo–as opposed to a vibrator–intrigued me. That it comes in a cool, faux-book box was only icing on the cake. However, the reviews were a bit lackluster and I put it on my back burner. When I got the chance to review one for SexToy.com, I said “It’s time. Sign me up.”

This silicone dildo is intended for dual stimulation and has a very modern look. The internal portion consists of a firm shaft that gradually grows in width and tapers to a slight point, while the external portion is quite narrow and features ridges that stimulate the body There’s a small, flared point at the end (think the Devil’s tail ;)) It was pretty obvious, out of the box, that the external portion wouldn’t really work for me. It seems like the toy is meant for rocking to create a back-and-forth sensation, but I like something more firm and frenzied, and the thin neck on this piece wasn’t going to do it. I prefer something more broad, more smooth. More spherical, in general.

I was also unpleasantly surprised at how large and firm the insertable shaft felt but this is almost entirely due to the fact that I haven’t been playing with penetration that frequently as of late. With more lube and some patience, I found a much more comfortable position but the result was more along the lines of “There, I can’t feel it” rather than “That feels nice.” That’s usually not what you want with a sex toy. This is due to the fact that the Little Su Natural has edges that run the length of the shaft and end in a rounded point. I just don’t like this as a design feature (as you saw in my review for the Aurora vibe).

Furthermore, the angle where the two parts meet doesn’t cradle my pubic bone the way that I like.

Frequently, I wind up having a lot to say because dual stimulation toys tend to work in one place but not the other. Unfortunately, as with the Little Su Natural, neither part really worked for me. I think this just goes to show that sometimes, unique packaging, quality materials and a thought-provoking design do not work for everyone or.. maybe anyone. I admire Joya’s efforts but still feel like this toy fell short, especially considering the price tag. I suspect I’d like vibrators better, with their more rounded design, but they still have a lot of molded designs and this is another complaint of mine. I don’t like to spend a lot of time cleaning my toys, thus I prefer them to be smoother. Little Su has ridges that face the body, on the external portion of the toy–ridges that also make it more difficult to clean and dry.

Thus, this review ends. I have little more to say about the Little Su dildo. It’s simple and it simply doesn’t work for me.

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Categories: Dildos, Reviews

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Ultimate Erotic Massage

April 8th, 2011

Ultimate Erotic Massage

Ultimate Erotic Massage
$9.48 from Amazon

I enjoy getting massages and I guess I’m okay at giving them but it’s one of those activities that I always wanted to learn more about. Enter the book Ultimate Erotic Massage and, truthfully, this book was a real eye opener for me. Sure, it has the sort of hokey, new-age feel that sometimes annoys me (and others) but I think I had to move away from the mechanics of massage and learn how to intuit the practice to better understand that–and Ultimate Erotic Massage absolutely helped in that pursuit.

Ultimate Erotic Massage is a soft cover book of nearly 200 pages by Kavida Rei. After an introduction to erotic massage and its benefits, it is split into three main sections: sensual massage, intimate massage and erotic extras. There’s also a brief section, in the beginning, that is dedicated to the basics of massage, including supplies, setting the mood, negotiating the scene, connecting with your partner as well as basic techniques. It’s here that Rei introduces the idea of using body parts other than hands–such as hands or your mouth–as part of your massage technique.

A short description of each section:

Sensual message discusses how each sense plays into massage and gives suggestions for helping either sex become sensually aware. The next chapter in this section breaks down sensual massage techniques by area of the body with extra information on stimulating a woman’s breasts and, again, using your mouth to please your partner. This section wraps up with some interesting information about soapy and/or wet massages that are somewhat based on Thai techniques.

Intimate massage delves into genital massage and Rei breaks down techniques for each gender and includes an entire chapter on oral massage. Kavida stresses that we should take the time to enjoy giving and receiving erotic intimate massage on its own–without necessarily leading to orgasm or sex. I particularly enjoyed the inclusion of a chapter about self massage. Rei’s advice helps the reader connect with herself, even when no partner is available.

All of these sections include small blocks of text on large backgrounds of individuals or couples. Like the cover, these images are pretty sensual in nature, if not necessarily explicit, and make this book pretty conspicuous. Most, if not all, of the couplings are heterosexual and while there author never explicitly states so, the book itself has a rather hetero-normative flair and it wouldn’t hurt if it were a bit more inclusive for homosexual or transsexual folks. All the chapters also include a variety of inserts: pictures, lists, activities and technique so it’s varied, easy read. Despite that, it did take me a while to get through this book. I just couldn’t get into it–through no fault of the book

Erotic extras finally segues into orgasm through erotic massage. It is in this section that the author begins to suggest that massage may lead to orgasm and introduces us to arousal, seduction 65yt6and, finally, orgasm. Unfortunately, in the sensual massage portion of this guide, I almost found the tone to suggest that something is wrong with achieving orgasm through these techniques. Obviously, it may not be the point but I’m not entirely sure why it should be entirely avoided, either. It could be just how I read it but I was glad to see the middle chapters discuss the possibility at all.

The final chapters discusses massage as an element of fantasy, roleplay and BDSM before Rei finishes the book with some information about Tantric massage. Like other sex/massage guides, there are a couple pages dedicated to resources and retailers to guide you on your journey to the ultimate erotic massage and a useful index at the very end. Interesting, there is no information about the other. You might be interested to know that her personal website describes her as a “Tantric Goddess.” I usually like to know how someone is qualified to be writing such material.

After finishing this book, I definitely felt as though my arsenal of massage information had bulked up, in addition to having a greater understanding of the art itself. Ultimate Erotic Massage laid it out in a very easy to digest format and, although I read this book cover to cover, you could easily pick a place where you want to focus. I can see myself referring to it in the future and that it something I rarely say about guide books that I have had the pleasure of reading.

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Categories: Books, Reviews

The Second Time Around

March 10th, 2011

I bet you wish this post is aptly titled because my love life is going swimmingly. I do too–sorta (don’t worry, it’s not going badly), but this is a recap of past reviews.

It hasn’t been that long since I switched away from the Exotic Fruit Shower Gel by Shunga and I’m back on it. Although I didn’t touch on it in my original review, I have come to realize that my skin’s complexion is a little poorer when using this product, than when using your standard shower gels. Secondly, I find that I do not stay as clean and fresh smelling, especially around the intimate parts, when I cleanse with this shower gel. Although I do enjoy the scent, I feel like my money would be better spent on something from the drug store.

I loved the shape of my first Tuyo and raved about it even though it sounded like an inefficient chainsaw during use–that is, until it broke. I did wind up replacing the vibrator when I had the funds but, sadly, I just don’t seem to be enjoying Tuyo 2.0 as much. Luckily, though, it’s far less loud than the previous one (although not as quiet as I would like), so I needn’t worry about having the cops called on me during my masturbation sessions.

Liberator Throe remains as useful as useful
Liberator Throe remains as useful as useful

On the positive side, my Liberator Throw has become a staple in my sexual routine, and I rarely play—solo or with others—without it. Even having to contact the company when my original was defective (and their customer service was awesome!), I could not recommend this more to people who have had issues with lubes and liquids on their linens and furniture. For me, it’s even become an aid when setting the ambiance.

My love for my Lelo Siri continues and is only dwarfed by my respect for its battery time. I can only recall charging it once and the batteries are just now starting to die, after 6 months of on-and-off use. Granted, my sessions are usually around 10 minutes or so but I actually forgot that this one requires charging until it started to glow red! Not only has this remained my go-to toy but it’s probably the most valued toy in my entire collection.

My last update is on the Inttimo Kitty Shave Kreme by Wet. Although it smells nice, was slick and I like the pump bottle, it took me some time to realize that I wasn’t as happy with this shaving cream as I originally thought. It wasn’t until I read another’s review that I realized this shaving cream really doesn’t give me as close a shave as other shaving creams. Secondly, the constant itching after I would use this to shave my legs never faded. It just became something I grew used to. I don’t necessarily dislike this product, but it’s not a premium product, nor should it retail at such high prices. Coochy Cream and System Jo’s new shaving cream are both superior options.

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Categories: Reviews

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Adventures in Craigslist Ads

March 8th, 2011

Unless you guessed that I put up an ad on the local Craigslist, searching for (male) sexting partners.

Then you win a gold star. If you, somehow guessed that, then you may not be surprised to learn that I received a dozen replies in less than a day and many of them were laughable. Lucky for you, I plan on sharing.

The first guy tried..

*runs fingers up her sides under her shirt with the lightest drag of nails as I lean in to steal a deep, long kiss*

I’d love to chat some more…

At least, his use of punctuation was more attractive than this guy:

i hope this catches your eye feeling those moist tender pink lips gently rubbing them touching your clit rubbing it then bringing my tongue down and tasting that sweet hot lips licking them sticking my tongue deep inside yum

This one (from a woman?) is probably spam:

Hi!!

How are you doing to day?

Hope to hear from you..

Thanks

Cheyenne

This sounds like a whole can of worms I do not want to open:

Hi, I saw your ad and I would be interested in being your flirt and sexting friend if you’re interested. I’m 28 6’4 and 270 lbs, also around 6 1/2. I’m pretty open and creative sexually. I’m a closet bisexual however mostly just stick to women due to fear of getting caught. I love eating pussy and well licking everywhere fun..

Some lazy typing to be seen from this guy:

Hey hun. I would slowly rub u down with some massage oil from ur neck to ur toes. Kisss u softly on the neck. And the rest would be a suprise!

Some guys have more confidence than others:

I have to warn you that I have seduced through texting. I accidentally texted the wrong number once and ended up meeting her in California for a good time.

While others make big promises:

I will lick your pussy until you are writhing in ecstasy.

Some have typical fantasies:

I would like to have you in a bikini doing you and cum on you.

This one actually confused me at first:

hey there sexy. couldnt stop looking at ur nice rack poping out of that lovely shirt. you wanna come back to my place so i can rip that shirt off of you and fuck the shit out of them.

And at least two fellas completely forgot their numbers (one did send another response, however).

Who do you vote gets my number?

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Categories: Everything Else

Sweetheart I Rub My Duckie

March 7th, 2011

Sweetheart I Rub My Duckie

Sweetheart I Rub My Duckie
N/A from

This is an archived review of a discontinued toy.

I have a soft spot for the duckie vibrators. Time and again, they have proved to be not quite as functional as they are novel, but I keep requesting them, anyway.

Thus, I am now the owner of an adorable Sweetheart I Rub My Duckie. Like the Santa duckie I already possessed, this one is travel-sized and comes in a plastic heart. The duckie sits on a stand against a pink background, and she looks super glamorous through the clear plastic in front. A bow attaches to loops at the top of the plastic, but you can pop the duckie out by removing the tape along the side.

The duckie has fashionable accessories: a feather boa that I think my cats have already stolen (removable because who wants to get it all yucky during play?). She is pristine in white/light cream with light teal eyes that are definitely feminine. She’s sort of like a monochrome version of the Paris Duckie, which I also own. There’s a tiny rhinestone jewel on her bill that adds to the feminine allure.

This particular duckie was stubborn when it came time to insert batteries, though. The cover is a piece of plastic (the entire thing is molded plastic, actually) that you push into place and turn to lock (the reverse opens it). A screw driver is handy (or fingernails of steel) but the hard plastic on mine seems to be slightly misshapen, making the entire process a pain in the ass. Unfortunately, all my hard work was for naught because my duckie didn’t work anyway. )= When I insert the battery (a single AAA), replace the battery cover and turn the dial from Off to On, nothing happens. Nada. At all.

Luckily for me, I enjoy the duckies for their aesthetic appeal and I already own a similar model so I am familiar with their vibration strength and operation. The small size means you’ll probably rely on the tail or sides, the broadest part, for pressure but the face and beak offer some pinpoint stimulation (all external, I don’t even know how you’d go about inserting this!). All the engraved text on the bottom makes me hesitant to use. I would really not have to clean off lubes and liquids from the tiny cracks and crevices.

Although the knob would indicate that the vibrations are adjustable, this is actually a one-speed toy. Considering how difficult it can be to turn the little knob, you’d think they would go with a push button control (or belly squeeze, as with the larger duckies). I was able to get off when I used the Sweetheart Duckie’s Santa cousin, but it’s not the type of toy I default to. The vibrations, as I recall, as relatively strong for the size but I’ll take a AA-powered toy over this, any day. In addition to this, the duckies do not tend to be all that quiet, so close your door, put on some music, and run the bath in the background, just to be careful.

To add to my disappointment, the Sweetheart Duckie does not float upright in water. Rather, she flops right over onto her side or back. After testing this out, I was further disappointed to find that water had found its way into the battery compartment. Even if the duckie had worked, I wouldn’t expect it to work for long, after several uses in the water or cleanings. But I’m not surprised because all of my duckies really did have a cheap feel to them when it comes to quality of craftsmanship.

tl,dr; The Sweetheart Duckie is cute, especially in her packaging, but maybe she should stay there because quality of these products is really hit and miss and you can find a decent toy for a comparable price without all the noise.

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Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

What’s Your Desire?

March 1st, 2011

I think Venus was certainly looking to win the giveaway that I just hosted.. and she did.

Congratulations, an e-mail is on its way!

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Categories: Everything Else

Image © MisterUnlucky; used with permission.