Sex and Love

March 21st, 2010

I never felt like a typical female in regards to sex and love. I guess I didn’t really see them as necessarily connected; although, I thought they could be and when they are it can improve upon both aspects. While I have thoroughly enjoyed the sex I have had with my husband, there have only been a few times when I felt that sex qualified as “love making” and this did prove to be a bit disheartening at times.

I guess I hadn’t realized that the act itself was something I was able to enjoy, for the most part, because I do love my husband. As much as I enjoy sex in and of itself, I would not be able to enjoy it with a person whom I did not trust. I would not enjoy it were I not comfortable with my partner. It would not be satisfying if I doubted that person’s intentions or if I were worried about my safety. While not all of these things require a loving or romantic relationship, they do go well together and it does make me feel a greater connection between sex and love.

I am not entirely sure if my husband realizes that there is a connection at all. After all, our relationship started off on a sexual foot and while that is not entirely bad (previously, I had not known how to add sexuality to my relationships so getting it out of the way at the first has its benefits), I do think it left an inaccurate impression. To put it bluntly, I think my husband thinks of me as more promiscuous than I am (not that promiscuity if bad, just that I am not really). He does not realize how large a role that he, specifically, plays in my ability to be sexual. He views himself or any potential partner of mine as replaceable and I think there is at least some hard feelings because of it. It saddens me.

I suppose, if it weren’t him, it would have been someone else.. eventually but I think that eventually would have taken a few more years at the very least. I didn’t have any plan about losing my virginity. I wasn’t ready to give it away in middle school nor was I waiting for some biblically appropriate moment. The time simply felt right with him so I had sex for the first time with someone I cared for a great deal and, overall, it was a positive experience which has led to more positive sexual experiences.

But I do wish I had come to realize how intertwined the two can be for me earlier so that I could share it with him.

Comment


Bubbles

March 19th, 2010

This is an archived review of a discontinued toy.

Bubbles is a cute, albeit short, G-spot vibrator available in fitting bubblegum pink. It gets its name from its appearance – a series of bulbs on the shaft that look like bubbles. Typical of most Fun Factory vibrators, the silicone of Bubbles is soft and pliable; although, the core of the toy is not, so the shaft is not uber flexible. Toward the end, the bubbles are pure, soft silicone so the head can be flexed a bit this way and that. Although Bubbles might look almost fluffy in photos, it is not that soft.

Unlike many G-spot toys (like the Orchid G), Bubbles is wider and more filling. While I do not particularly enjoy super thin toys, I found the specific shape, size, and perhaps even material of this vibrator to be difficult to maneuver and insert, even with an abundant amount of water-based lube and arousal. Bubbles will probably be a better fit for someone whose G-spot is not as shallow as mine; I usually prefer a less angled head than that on this vibrator and the fit was just not comfortable where I needed the vibrator to sit. In addition to this, Bubbles may be too short to reach some G-spots because it is only insertable 4.5 inches.

Because of the separate bulges, Bubbles has a variety of widths. It seems to be wider right where it curves (the second to last “bubble”), and it has a diameter of 1.6″. The lower bubbles are around the same girth, while the bubble on the end is slightly smaller with a 1.5″ diameter. Obviously, it is less girthy between the bubbles, but this seems to make it harder for me to maneuver. Having such a wide bulge at the curve point also hinders movement.

Although the shape was not ideal, I found the vibrations satisfactory. They are not incredibly deep and do not quite compare with the Sinfflut Intensity (also from Fun Factory), but are fairly strong, especially for a toy of its size. There multiple settings of vibration are controlled by two buttons: one which powers on the toy/increases vibration and one which decreases vibration/turns off the toy. The symbols are embossed into the silicone itself and you have to press through it to control the toy. I found this to be a little difficult as the softer silicone requires an exact touch, and my fingernails frequently get in the way. I would much prefer hard plastic buttons at the base.

There are about 6 modes of steady vibration. Toward the higher settings, they do tend to blend together. There are also three pulsating modes, which are essentially slow pulse, medium pulse, and fast pulse. I do not think my Bubbles originally pulsated correctly at first but it does now.

In use, Bubbles is not whisper-quiet but would probably not be heard through a closed door even on the higher settings.

Bubbles is also unique because it is part of Fun Factory’s line of new click-and-charge vibrators. These rechargeable vibrators run on an internal battery and connect to a magnetic charger at their base (which is small, rounded, and plastic, so it may become slippery during use), which then plugs into the wall. The toy and charger have Fun Factory logos that must be lined up. When charging, a red light on the charger indicates status but my charger actually seems to have a broken light (but it still works).

The toy does come charged which is a plus. Although it says these toys should be charged before first use (and that charge can take up to 6 hours), I did not charge mine. The manual states that the toy can be used for approximately 1 hour on the highest setting. I used it 2 – 3 times before charging it, and it definitely did not lose any strength.  Bubbles can’t be used while charging; it will switch off. The setup does not allow a toy to be ruined by overcharging, which is always nice.

Because there are no ports or holes or anything of the sort, Bubbles is completely waterproof and can be played with in the shower or bath. This also makes cleaning a cinch because the soft silicone will attract lint that is hard to remove with cleaning wipes or sprays. I find running water does the trick much better.

While my anatomy did not love Bubbles, it is a quality toy and the click and charge system is pretty awesome. I definitely want to check out other BiMini vibes from Fun Factory.

2 Comments


Bad Thoughts

March 15th, 2010

The past few months have taught me a lot about relationships, expectations, love, perception and healthy attitudes. In some ways, I feel like a relationship expert (I’m not.. yet) and I know I have been and will continue learning skills that will not only help me have successful relationships (and that is worth imparting to my loved ones during their challenges) but I am developing skills to help me be happier no matter what my relationship status is.

As patient as I am trying to be with my husband, as hopeful as I am trying to be about this situation, it is difficult not to feel hurt and not to entertain thoughts that are simply not helpful. Ultimately, I feel a bit betrayed by my husband, my life and perhaps most importantly, myself. I feel so foolish for believing that this time would be different, that he would be different. I wonder why I ever thought it could work. What proof have I ever had that it could? Indeed, everything I have seen or experienced indicates that relationships just do not work. Ever.

I know, I know. It’s not productive. But I just cannot be productive all the time. At the very least, I can control it enough that I am not sobbing over Haagen Das. And I’m not screaming at my husband about how he’s hurt me and making it into an argument so that’s good. I am able to contain the thoughts that they are not quite ruining (running?) my life.

I feel especially silly when I think how far I’ve come in regards to my thoughts about marriage. I went from thinking it’s nothing but a sham to believing maybe it can work to wondering if maybe it is only a sham after all and I should have kept thinking the way I did because then I wouldn’t be hurting like I am. Except I know that you have to let people in and learn to trust again even if it means sometimes starting over. And as much as I hate feeling like I’m back at square one, the logical part of me knows that you cannot reap the rewards without taking the risk and I will take that risk again whether with someone else or whether my husband chooses to work on our marriage. Even if I don’t want to think about it now, cannot imagine ever being with someone else.

My bad thoughts creep up when I am alone and at night, right before bed. To combat them, I’ve been scouring the internet for inspiring quotes (I mention this in an upcoming post I wrote for EdenCafe), calling friends or sometimes distracting myself by jerking off. It’s still a work in progress, though.

2 Comments


Beyond #1

March 12th, 2010

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

If this G-spot vibrator looks familiar, it’s probably because it was designed akin to Ophoria’s Beyond 3 dildo except, where the dildo has an “S” shape with a loop at the base for maneuverability (or inserting a bullet), the vibrator has a straighter base that houses the batteries. Otherwise, both toys share an enlarged and rounded head intended to stimulate the G-spot. They are both quality made, out of silicone (although the Beyond 1 cannot be boiled to sterilize because of the mechanical parts) and have three soft ridges on the shaft for extra stimulation. However, the Beyond 1 has a pretty silver band separating the shaft and battery cap; it contracts nicely with the silicone (mine is black). Beyond 1 is also shorter with a total length of 7.5″ and an insertable length of, offering about 6.5″ for insertion.

As this is my first Ophoria toy, I do not know about other products, but the presentation was nice. Some might use the box for storage, but I prefer the pouch. It is black, extremely soft, and not linty – perhaps microfiber. It’s also unique in that the storage pouch does not have one open end that cinches. Indeed, it is more like an envelope and the toy slips in lengthwise. Then, the whole thing is tied up with ribbon.

The silicone of the Beyond 1 is definitely more firm than it is soft. Most of the shaft seems to be silicone-covered plastic without give. The head is also a thick silicone, which is firm as well, but the area right below the head (near the three ridges) is thinner and not covered with plastic, so it can be bent a bit. The silicone of this vibrator is smooth and velvety but will pick up lint if it is not in its pouch. The silver band next to the battery cap is painted plastic while the cap itself is plastic with a softer power button.

Battery installation is easy, and the Beyond 1 actually comes with the required 2 AAA batteries. That is always a nice touch. The directions for batteries are engraved into the plastic of the toy for easy reference, and the cap itself slides and locks into place. Beware that this toy is not waterproof and take care when cleaning.

The Beyond 1 G-spot vibrator is incredibly easy to use, with one button to power it on, off, and toggle through modes – of which there are 9. Although there is only one button, the toy can be turned off at any time by holding it down for a few seconds. This is preferable to having to cycle through all the modes but I would prefer an instant off because you still do have to wait. I find it’s actually quicker to just pull out the batteries (although I doubt that is healthy for the life of the toy).

The nine modes of vibration include a low, medium and high steady vibration and six other pulsation and escalation settings. While these settings are interesting, many of them are quite similar and the Beyond 1 would not be less of a toy without them; indeed, I find nine settings to be just a bit of overkill these days.

The vibrations are not incredibly high-pitched but do lack the depth that I really love. Yet, despite this, I found the Beyond 1 to perform well. My G-spot is pretty sensitive to vibrations, and squirting was easy – once I got the toy inserted. Although the shaft of the Beyond 1 is not giant (it has a 1.5″ diameter) and the shaft is fairly slim, the difference in size between the head and shaft of the toy is pretty drastic and can make insertion difficult or even painful, especially given the unique design of the head of the toy. Even when I was well lubricated (water based only) and aroused, I had some difficulty. It was definitely easier for me to use Beyond 1 after playing with other insertables. I imagine this will prevent the Beyond 1 from being comfortable or enjoyable to use for some people because of their builds and would definitely not recommend it to a sex toy newbie.

Honestly, I have used the Beyond 1 for less for G-spot play than I have externally which might seem odd but given my preference for broader, rounded surfaces, the Beyond 1 really fit the bill. I can move it against myself in such a way that reminds me of a penis rubbing on my clit to produce some nice orgasms. Because my G-spot is fairly shallow, I can almost use the Beyond 1 as a dual stimulator, inserting just more than the head, but it’s not ideal.

While I am pleasantly surprised by the versatility of this vibrator, I do have some less-than-thrilling thoughts. After my first use (and second wash), the Beyond 1 G-spot vibrator has begun to rattle during use. It still works fine, and sometimes I can’t even notice the rattling (like when it’s under a blanket), but it is more noticeable during pulsation settings and a bit annoying. Even with the rattle, Beyond 1 is pretty quiet and couldn’t be heard through a closed door, but it’s not as silent as the phrase “whisper quiet technology” suggests.

Additionally, I could not feel the under the head during use. The toy might even be easier to maneuver without the extra texture, but that is just an educated guess on my part. On a semi-related note, some folks experienced painful issues with seams on other Ophoria toys, including the Beyond 3 dildo. Still, while the seams are visible to the eye and tactile to the fingers, they were not noticeable in use.

I do really like Ophoria’s Beyond 1 G-spot vibrator. I usually do not find G-spot vibrators to be very versatile, and this may be the first one that can be used internally and externally for me, so I will definitely keep it handy.

5 Comments


Touch your partner online with KIIROO

Petite Couture Collection™ – ecstasy

March 7th, 2010

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

Having tried a full-sized Couture rabbit by California Exotic, I wasn’t too thrilled to get a petite version to review. It seems that if a toy powered by 3 AAs is not powerful enough to get me off, then a smaller, less powerful version will not have much luck, either. That’s not to say I was going in expecting to fail, but I wasn’t expecting it to blow my mind, either.

It’s a real shame because the soft silicone of the couture line is a step up from porous materials like jelly, and the sleek lines are attractively classy, in my opinion. The texture of the Petite Couture Collection Ecstasy is velvety, with a bit of drag, and mostly devoid of any shapes save for a gentle ridge that runs around the head and then comes together down the center of the vibe toward the clit stimulator. There are no seams in the silicone. Because the silicone is soft, it will, unfortunately, pick up lint. There is some slight variation in the shaft size, but overall, the diameter sticks near 1.25″, and there are no difficult angles or bulges to maneuver, making it better suited for beginners than many rabbits. Even if you’re not a beginner, you might opt for a Petite Couture piece because they are smaller in length, too. This one offers 4.75″ insertable inches, a change from the larger rabbits, which do not work well with all anatomies.

Like the regular Couture Collection, Ecstasy has a silver plastic base that continues the sleek look with its contemporary lines. There are three buttons to control this rabbit vibrator: a master power switch and a button for each function (rotation of the shaft and vibration of the clitoral stimulator). When the power is on, the buttons light up a very bright blue, so bright that I used the light for a flashlight in the dark. The functions can operate separately, so there are many ways to enjoy this toy.

There are three speeds of shaft rotation which I found enough to make me squirt; however, I was unable to successfully stimulate both my G-spot and clit as I had to pull the rabbit out a bit to hit the right spot. I have a shallow G-spot, and I believe the thinner shaft of the Petite Couture Collection – ecstasy just couldn’t hit the right spots. I think my PC muscles are a bit out of shape, however. The rotation stood up to my clenching on 2 out of the three speeds, and it just seems like it shouldn’t with such a small power source.

Some might also find the clitoral nub to be a little on the short side because it does not have rabbit ears or what-have-you extending its length – which is only 1″. Generally, I like the idea of this shape better than all the animals because I tend to press the bullet part right against my clit instead of the ears or arms or other body parts. This one does curl up slightly toward the body/clit, but the bullet is just not strong or deep enough for me. Even with three steady vibration modes, four more pulsations, and escalating patterns, I was pretty disappointed. The vibrations are higher pitched than I like and really didn’t reach deep beneath the surface. Even the pulsation was underwhelming and lacked the throbbing sensation which is a requirement in strong vibes. I wound up turning them off pretty quickly when I realized they would not get me off.

In regards to a few technical details, the Ecstasy is pretty quiet and wouldn’t be heard through a closed door. However, the rotating portion does have a bit of an annoying whine. Because of its silicone composition, only water-based lubricants should be used. These vibrators are supposed to be waterproof, but the battery compartment does not seem to seal tightly, so I wouldn’t submerge them during use or washing. Soap and water washing or shower use would probably be fine, however.

While I think the Petite Couture Collection ecstasy might be a good first rabbit or even a first sex toy for some users, I was just really underwhelmed by its performance, which I expected would be the case. It’s a step in the right direction, and I do like the idea of more variety in rabbit sizes, but I personally need it. dare I dare it.. more power.

CEN_SEXPERT_certified

Comment


Bhold: Bcute Curve

February 28th, 2010

My first free toy was an egg from Bswish and it was surprisingly powerful. While the newer additions to their line up are just as attractive (cute, even!), they do seem to lack the strength which is sad. Plus, my Curve won’t relinquish smells it picked up for only one use which is a little disappointing. Still, for some people, it would be the B’s knees.

Comment


Make love to your long distance lover online

Kissable ice cream – strawberry

February 24th, 2010

Kissable ice cream

Kissable ice cream

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

At first, I confused California Fantasies with California Exotics, but it’s a lesser-known manufacturer that made the Kissable Ice Creme in strawberry, which I had a chance to try. This cream is really a multitasker that promises to cool and lubricate while allowing your partner to taste its flavour when he or she goes to town on you. This product does succeed in a lot of ways, I am happy to say and the 2oz squeeze tube is pretty sizeable. It reminds me of a hand cream tube, and there is a lot more product than any other sensitizing product I’ve tried.

Let me start by saying that this is not a lubricant. It’s a thicker cream which will quickly rub into the skin while the taste remains, it has virtually no lubricating properties. It may moisturize but my vagina doesn’t really need that, I don’t think. Plus, the ingredients list contains both alcohol and sugars which can cause irritation for some which leads me to believe that this product would better be labeled as a sensitizing cream than a lubricating one.

I’ve reviewed other sensitizing products here and here.

The ingredients, as listed on the tube, are:

  • de-ionized water
  • caprylic/capric triglyceride
  • octyldodecanol
  • glyceryl stearate
  • PEG 100 stearate
  • Emulsifying Wax
  • polydimethyl siloxane
  • decamethyl cyclopentasiloxane
  • cetyl alcohol
  • tricethanolamine
  • glycerin
  • sodium benzoate
  • diazolidinyl urea
  • potassium sorbate
  • polysorbate 20
  • hydrogenated collagen
  • methylethyl cyclohexyl
  • propanediol
  • flavor
  • carbomer
  • disodium EDTA
  • sodium PCA
  • Sodium Saccharine

It’s a long list and was painful to type up. While some of the ingredients I recognize, I wouldn’t mind if there were simply fewer and if there were fewer salts and sugars to boot. While cooling products usually contain some sort of menthol as the active ingredient, I am not sure what it is in the Kissable Ice Creme that makes it work.

As a sensitizing cream, Kissable Ice Creme passes with flying colours. It feels cool immediately and grows slightly cooler, but not so much that it makes me uncomfortable like other cooling products I’ve used. It doesn’t quite tingle, but I can feel the area to which it is applied is growing more sensitive. This is a positive attribute when used on the clitoris but I would like to remind you that this product is also intended to be kissable which means your mouth, including lips and tongue, will become extra sensitive, too. Depending on your personal preferences, this may not be a positive thing. I find it a bit interesting but not necessarily distracting. I did not experience any amazingly powerful or easier orgasms while using this cream but my awareness was definitely heightened.

The Kissable Ice Cream is flavoured and scented. It’s definitely sweet and more of the unnatural strawberry “flavour” as opposed to tasting like real strawberries. The taste will grow weaker as it is licked away (although, the thick cream does stay in place well) and it does seem to have a bit of a sugary aftertaste. It’s not horrible but it is a little.. different. Fluids and a person’s natural taste may alter the sensation, of course. The scent is very sweet as well and gives you a good indication of how it will taste.

It does remove cleanly with licking or washing without leaving residue and even when it’s on your fingers, it feels creamy and soft without being greasy. Because it is thick, it stays where you put it and you do not have to worry about it dripping on your linens or carpet but, as it is water based, I do not think it would stain anyway.

In fact, since I bought it to use as a sensitizing cream and not a lubricant, I can’t really say that are a lot of strong negatives about the Kissable Ice Creme from California Fantasies. It does what it says in a noticeable but not overpowering way, and I like that it does not smell or taste like mint because I am not a fan. Not everyone will love the taste (although there are also Cola and Colada flavours available) but I found it to be decent in the limited quantities I’d be using for playtime anyway. I would like to see an ingredient list that isn’t quite so terrifying, but I haven’t experienced any adverse reactions and do not intend to use it internally, so I am really pretty satisfied with the Strawberry Kissable Ice Cream.

2 Comments