Kissable ice cream – strawberry

February 24th, 2010

Kissable ice cream

Kissable ice cream

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

At first, I confused California Fantasies with California Exotics, but it’s a lesser-known manufacturer that made the Kissable Ice Creme in strawberry, which I had a chance to try. This cream is really a multitasker that promises to cool and lubricate while allowing your partner to taste its flavour when he or she goes to town on you. This product does succeed in a lot of ways, I am happy to say and the 2oz squeeze tube is pretty sizeable. It reminds me of a hand cream tube, and there is a lot more product than any other sensitizing product I’ve tried.

Let me start by saying that this is not a lubricant. It’s a thicker cream which will quickly rub into the skin while the taste remains, it has virtually no lubricating properties. It may moisturize but my vagina doesn’t really need that, I don’t think. Plus, the ingredients list contains both alcohol and sugars which can cause irritation for some which leads me to believe that this product would better be labeled as a sensitizing cream than a lubricating one.

I’ve reviewed other sensitizing products here and here.

The ingredients, as listed on the tube, are:

  • de-ionized water
  • caprylic/capric triglyceride
  • octyldodecanol
  • glyceryl stearate
  • PEG 100 stearate
  • Emulsifying Wax
  • polydimethyl siloxane
  • decamethyl cyclopentasiloxane
  • cetyl alcohol
  • tricethanolamine
  • glycerin
  • sodium benzoate
  • diazolidinyl urea
  • potassium sorbate
  • polysorbate 20
  • hydrogenated collagen
  • methylethyl cyclohexyl
  • propanediol
  • flavor
  • carbomer
  • disodium EDTA
  • sodium PCA
  • Sodium Saccharine

It’s a long list and was painful to type up. While some of the ingredients I recognize, I wouldn’t mind if there were simply fewer and if there were fewer salts and sugars to boot. While cooling products usually contain some sort of menthol as the active ingredient, I am not sure what it is in the Kissable Ice Creme that makes it work.

As a sensitizing cream, Kissable Ice Creme passes with flying colours. It feels cool immediately and grows slightly cooler, but not so much that it makes me uncomfortable like other cooling products I’ve used. It doesn’t quite tingle, but I can feel the area to which it is applied is growing more sensitive. This is a positive attribute when used on the clitoris but I would like to remind you that this product is also intended to be kissable which means your mouth, including lips and tongue, will become extra sensitive, too. Depending on your personal preferences, this may not be a positive thing. I find it a bit interesting but not necessarily distracting. I did not experience any amazingly powerful or easier orgasms while using this cream but my awareness was definitely heightened.

The Kissable Ice Cream is flavoured and scented. It’s definitely sweet and more of the unnatural strawberry “flavour” as opposed to tasting like real strawberries. The taste will grow weaker as it is licked away (although, the thick cream does stay in place well) and it does seem to have a bit of a sugary aftertaste. It’s not horrible but it is a little.. different. Fluids and a person’s natural taste may alter the sensation, of course. The scent is very sweet as well and gives you a good indication of how it will taste.

It does remove cleanly with licking or washing without leaving residue and even when it’s on your fingers, it feels creamy and soft without being greasy. Because it is thick, it stays where you put it and you do not have to worry about it dripping on your linens or carpet but, as it is water based, I do not think it would stain anyway.

In fact, since I bought it to use as a sensitizing cream and not a lubricant, I can’t really say that are a lot of strong negatives about the Kissable Ice Creme from California Fantasies. It does what it says in a noticeable but not overpowering way, and I like that it does not smell or taste like mint because I am not a fan. Not everyone will love the taste (although there are also Cola and Colada flavours available) but I found it to be decent in the limited quantities I’d be using for playtime anyway. I would like to see an ingredient list that isn’t quite so terrifying, but I haven’t experienced any adverse reactions and do not intend to use it internally, so I am really pretty satisfied with the Strawberry Kissable Ice Cream.

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Categories: Lube, Reviews

Craving

February 22nd, 2010

Sex, I want it. And I can’t have it. Which makes me want it even more. I see it in movies, on TV and read about it in books. It seems like everyone is having it. Everyone but me, of course. I think about my husband (who will hopefully remain my husband). I think about our sex and my body springs to life but no relief is available.

I remember his movements, his sounds, the feel of his touch and his body against mine. My real life becomes my fantasy and I long for the past. I do not simply want sex. I want sex with him. I want the sex I remember and, yes, the sex about which I all-too-often took a passive attitude in the past.

The past? Has it really been that long. Only a few short weeks. Yet, it feels like forever. It feels like a lifetime ago even though I know, logically, it has not been. But it has been too long and every day my desire grows. It is though I have never yearned for him as I do now or perhaps it is simply how I yearn for him because I have certainly wanted (but not been able to have) sex with him before. Before, sex was always an option in the future (albeit, not always the near future) but that is not the case now.

Regardless of how things turn out, I imagine he will be the object of my fantasies as long as I fantasize and as long as I cannot have him, I will certainly have to to survive.

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Categories: Everything Else

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Intimate Accessories Antibacterial Sex Toy Cleaner

February 18th, 2010

Antibacterial Sex Toy Cleaner

Antibacterial Sex Toy Cleaner
$8.99 from TabuToys

I’ve used a few toys cleaners, both sprays and wipes. My experience is that most of them are just okay, useful to have while they’re around but not something I’d rush to replace when it runs out. More often than not, I forget about these cleaners and revert to soap and water before the bottle is empty. Thus, I’ve several bottles at home and a half-used packet of wipes. As this realization sunk in when another bottle arrived in the mail, I offered one of those bottles to a friend. After all, how am I ever going to use them all myself? But because another bottle did arrive in the mail, I offer this review to you.

TabuToys offers Antibacterial Sex Toy Cleaner, a spray on cleaner in Dr Berman’s line of Intimate Accessories. The 6.28 FL oz bottle is clear, as is the cleaner itself, and is labeled with the familiar purple logo of Dr Berman’s toys. It’s easily recognizable for me but, at a distance or to someone who does not know better, it could pass as some random cosmetic bottle (although what would come in a squat bottle like this, I have no idea). The pump top itself is also purple (but not the same purple, which I find slightly irksome, LOL) and comes with a plastic cap, which makes it slightly more travel-friendly. I didn’t bother to put it in a ziploc in my luggage and the cap stayed on the entire time. I’m sure the cap would loosen a bit with subsequent uses, as is usually the case.

The ingredients of Intimate Accessories Antibacterial Sex Toy Cleaner are listed in a rather tiny print, and I immediately recognized Triclosan as (one of) the working ingredients. It’s common in many sex toy cleaners and some anti-bacterial soaps as well; although, there is a bit of controversy over it so if you’re anti-Triclosan, I’d stay away from this product.

The entire ingredient list is as follows:

  • Deionized Water
  • Sodium C14-16 Olefin Sulfonate
  • Disodium Lauroamphodiacetate (and) Sodium Trideceth Sulfate
  • Cocamidopropyl Betaine
  • Propylene Glycol
  • Triclosan
  • Citric Acid
  • Methychloroisothiazolinone (and) Methylisothiazolinone
  • Tetrasodium EDTA

Some of the ingredients are pretty common as far as cleaners go and most of them are more than a mouthful. Folks who prefer shorter ingredient lists or have specific chemical allergies/irritations should defnitely give the list a once over before purchasing. Other cleaners also include ingredients like Aloe or Vitamin E to make them soothing or conditioning so this cleaner is perhaps a bit more “basic”.

Curiously enough, the ingredients list is exactly the same as that of CEN’s (California Exotics produces the Berman line of accessories) Anti-Bacterial Toy Cleaner which comes in a smaller 4.3 FL oz bottle with darker purple writing on it so if you’ve tried it and are looking for something else, this is not it. However, the “regular” version, which is also available from TabuToys is not quite the value in terms of price. If you do not have a need for the smaller bottle, I’d go for the Berman Antibacterial Sex Toy Cleaner, instead. This value difference is about the same on most sites, with the regular cleaner costing more per fl. oz than Intimate Accessories Antibacterial Sex Toy Cleaner. you’d think that adding a celebrity/doctor endorsement would make them make up the price even more.

All these ingredients combine to produce a clear, thin liquid which is easily squirted form the pump bottle onto any toy. However, the bottle gives no indication as to whether this product should be wiped or rinsed off, used as a soap, or simply let to dry, which is definitely nice to know. Although I frequently rinse any toys which tend to collect fuzzies, I tend to do a dry wipe with a cloth or tissue on the smooth-surfaced toys that do not require special attention. But whether or not it’s really clean or safe to use is a mystery. Different online reviews suggest keeping it on for 2 minutes – which is way longer than I would naturally think to leave it on – but I could find nothing on the Berman Center websites to back it up. Your call, I guess.

The spray comes out in a fine mist that covers a wide area, and it only takes a few pumps to cover an entire toy. There seems to be a slightly medicinal scent, but I have to be honest; my nose is incredibly stuffed up, and there’s no one I can ask to smell my sex toy cleaner to confirm. LOL! Because the target area is so broad, I’d maybe spray over a toy or just be sure not to spray in the direction of anything or anyone which you don’t want coated with the Intimate Accessories Antibacterial Sex Toy Cleaner. Despite attempting to do this, my cat ran directly into the line of fire as soon as I sprayed the cleaner, of course.

Fast forward two minutes (your choice) and it can be rinsed off (as some reviews suggest), taking any debris with it. If you choose to simply wipe it off, debris will be more of an issue but that is the case with any spray toy cleaner. Because I’d rather be safe than sorry, I opt to rinse it off and this makes it a less useful product to me than one which I know I can use without rinsing/wiping (or even directly on the skin) which is the case with both the Afterglow Wipes and Pjur “Med-Clean” Spray. For all I know, the intent was for this product to be used without rinsing but the total lack of instructions is off putting to me. I’m sure some people use it without rinsing at all and experience no adverse effects but I like to know exactly what I’m getting and how to use a product. Unfortunately, the “regular” cleaner by CEN also fails to list instructions for use which is exactly why I won’t be buying either from them in the future.

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Categories: Non-Sex Toys, Reviews

The Sexually Dominant Woman

February 10th, 2010

The Sexually Dominant Woman

The Sexually Dominant Woman
11.47 from Amazon

The Sexually Dominant Woman is a very basic guide to femdom by Lady Green, a pen name for Janet Hardy, who has written and co-written several other BDSM books, including The (New) Topping Book and The New Bottoming Book. Immediately, I was much more comfortable with Lady Green’s tone and approach; although, I found The Sexually Dominant Woman to be just a bit too basic.

Lady Green uses a very friendly and approachable tone unlike the one used in The Mistress Manual. She does not appear to be preaching at you in role, which I appreciate. However, one of the downfalls of this tone is that Lady Green sometimes comes off as less professional than she could, which can make the reader question whether or not we should be taking her advice. The large, un-standard font face used in the book also lends to this feel. I would prefer something that looks just a bit more “proper.” But this would mean The Sexually Dominant Woman would be much smaller in appearance. Indeed, much of the information has been covered online in various communities and on many websites. It’s good to have all the information in one place but I think the Sexually Dominant Woman would almost be better as a PDF “book” than a printed book.

The Sexually Dominant Woman is subtitled as “A Workbook for Nervous Beginners” and much of it has a workbook feel. It could potentially be useful were it kept on hand during scenes (although, that could also detract from the scene itself). This guide is light enough reading that it could be used as suggested reading for partners, too, without overwhelming them.

This guide begins with a checklist to gauge a person’s interest in female domination, and there are frequent black-and-white sketches included. Some of these illustrate tools or positions while others are just complementary to the text. They are all amateur in composition and none of them are really appealing. This book would come off much classier with higher quality art.

What follows is a chapter defining sexual dominant in which Lady Green splits BDSM into several aspects including helplessness (bondage), roles and sensation. The next dedicates a chapter to each where she outlines tools, positions, tips and more. “Winding Down” discusses knowing when the session is/should be finished and she dedicates a few pages toward the feelings which may come after a scene and what they can mean. Throughout the entire book, it feels as though the author is only suggesting things and there is a feeling that the reader can and should tailor the advice to be a better fit for her specific situation. Although The Sexually Dominant Female is intended for female dominants and male subs, there is a note in the beginning that recognizes that many women play with women and that most of the content can be altered for the purpose. I would have to agree that this book is more neutral toward the submissive’s gender because it does not play on the yin and yang of gendered Dominance and submission like the Mistress Manual. It also makes it that much more pleasant to read.

The chapters are all short, no more than a few pages each. As you can guess, The Sexually Dominant Woman does not go into extreme depth about any one topic but gives a brief and consistent introduction to each subject tackled within its pages. It is not a book I would solely rely on, and I would encourage people to read other material, such as The Sexually Dominant Woman. My suggestion? SM 101 is great, but I will definitely pick up The New Topping Book after this. I especially suggest SM101 because it tackles many issues regarding safety and BDSM, an area which is a bit lacking in The Sexually Dominant Woman, and novice players may not realize what is lacking. Although the chapter on Physical and Emotional Safety is one of the longest in the book, it’s still only a handful of pages long.

Where The Sexually Dominant Woman really stands out, in my opinion, is with the suggested “basic first session.” I have read several suggestions in several other books, but none of them have ever been appealing. Lady Green suggests a scene that has a dedicated beginning and end (and helps players get into and out of scene mode), which flows naturally and incorporates a variety of activities and tools (bondage, collars, clamps, blindfolds, flogging, etc) and has alternatives provided depending upon whether the reader wants to incorporate sex into the scene. Overall, this suggested scene is pretty much perfect for any BDSM newbie, with enough structure to keep it moving but not so restrictive that it feels silly. It is definitely a chapter I would recommend or reference in the future.

The Sexually Dominant Woman wraps up with “Some notes For Your Submissive” which can help a submissive understand how taxing a role can be a dominant, especially a new dominant. This is followed by “Tips For Partner” finding which discusses perception and expectations that can aid in the search as well as a few suggestions of places to search. The advice is the sort of common knowledge that people can sometimes forget when setting off on a new adventure.

The appendix is the last chapter and Lady Green takes time to suggest further reading material, discuss kink-aware professionals and warn about the internet. It’s a bit of a catch-all which basically indicates that The Sexually Dominant Woman is not intended to be a stand-alone source. As I finished the book, that is the same conclusion I reached. The Sexually Dominant Woman is not groundbreaking and, to be honest, is probably old news to anyone who’s been on the internet a time or two. However, the approachable tone is refreshing for someone like myself, who has had issues with other BDSM books. If you happen by it, I would pick it up. Although, it seems like it may be going out of print so I’d probably look for The New Topping Book instead.

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Categories: Books, Reviews

The Cold Hard Truth is..

February 4th, 2010

Nexus Chloe is not nearly as amazing as she should be or looks. Read my review on EdenFantasys.

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Categories: Everything Else

Down The Rabbit Hole

January 31st, 2010

I really wanted to like Bcurious and, truthfully, I love the design, the quality, the ease of use and the pretty lights. I love that it’s so quiet, waterproof and although it’s not designed for the broad side to be used, it could be. And I would if only the vibrations were stronger and deeper. After only a few moments, my clit couldn’t feel a damned thing and was barely aroused. In fact, I personally feel that it has no more than 1 “Vroom” but I suspect others would disagree so marked it as 2 to be extra fair.

For $80, I better be getting off. It’s really a waste of design and craftsmanship.

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The Mistress Manual

January 26th, 2010

The Mistress Manual

The Mistress Manual
$29.29 from Store.OfSexAndLove.com

The Mistress Manual, “the good girl’s guide to female dominance,” is a pretty iconic book when it comes to BDSM guides but it is not a general dominance/topping book and it will be most useful to a specific sort of demographic. If you’re curious if you fall into that demographic, ask yourself these questions:

  • Are my femininity and domination closely connected?
  • Have I already found or created a willing male submissive?
  • Does my idea of domination center around the house?
  • Am I looking for help developing my dominance style and, if so, do classic dominance archetypes (nursemaid, governess, queen, amazon, goddess) appeal to me?

If your answer to any of these questions is “No,” I would direct you in another direction. Perhaps the New Topping Book, although I have not read it myself. If all your answers are “No,” I would not encourage you to open The Mistress Manual with a 10-foot pole because, while the advice given by Mistress Lorelei will probably work quite well for those whose styles of domination mesh with her views, the scope is limited enough that it will be extremely frustrating if not entirely futile for anyone else. Here’s why.

The keyword is female.

Mistress Lorelei, whom the reader learns is a professional writer from a blurb at the end of the book but whose expertise on the subject is never fully established, seems to see female dominance and male submission as a complimentary pair, sort of yin and yang-y. And I can dig that. In many ways, it makes sense, and, thus, it’s pretty much the running theme of this guide.

In some ways, however, it doesn’t make quite so much sense. Although there is advice in The Mistress Manual that can be used by any creative person or couple, the unique dynamics of a lesbian power exchange relationship may not benefit quite as well from Lorelei’s words. Perhaps she focused on the idea of “female dominance” a bit too much. I don’t need to roar because I’m a woman, and while being female can certainly add unique aspects to power, power itself is not hinged on my gender.

In fact, there are several reviews on Amazon that voice my critiques much more eloquently than I ever could:

Most of this book is tainted with this woman’s petty revenge fantasies. She can’t seem to seperate [sic] the idea of a well balanced BDSM relationship, founded on ideas such as trust and respect, from her indignacy [sic] at her perceived “second class citizen” status because she is a woman.

The Mistress Manual could have done much more to help craft or find a submissive.

While Chapter 3 talks about finding or creating a submissive, it was sorely lacking. The information to determine if one’s partner is open to female dominance is based on many assumptions. For example, Lorelei suggests that positive reactions to nipple pinching, being told to perform oral sex or to woman-on-top sex are indicative of domination fantasies and they can be, in the right situation. On the other hand, those things are all pretty vanilla these days, and I wouldn’t think someone is into BDSM simply for liking those things.

If your partner does happen to have fantasies of female domination that take little to encourage, you probably won’t find this as problematic as I did. Furthermore, if you live in an area where it’s easy to find an already submissive partner, you’re set. Just don’t rely on The Mistress Manual to be much help if either of those speed bumps apply to you.

“Domestic Discipline”

Mistress Lorelei describes her brand of dominance as “Domestic Discipline.” While I’m no expert, she defines this term (and others) uniquely. I have only ever seen Domestic Discipline defined as a relationship between husband and wife where the husband is dominant. Female dominance does not fit that definition at all. Somehow, Lorelei has found a group of people who have altered the traditional definition, and this can be misleading. It’s like she decided to say, for her book, that “empty means full.”

Semantics aside, my domination tastes center around general BDSM, not domesticity or discipline exclusively. In the beginning of the book, Lorelei is quick to state the differences between her idea of domestic discipline and the BDSM/leather scene, which did put me off for the rest of the book. However, if the idea of domestic roles or discipline-dependent S&M is this thing, you will probably enjoy this book much more than I did.

She’s a stickler for archetypes.

Admittedly, I do not put much stock into the “archetypal” female dominance roles, which she lists as nursemaid, governess, goddess, queen, and amazon. Relying on established fantasies can certainly help the creative juices flow for planning a scene and help to develop a style of dominance if someone is not sure how to proceed. Still, I find my tastes to be a bit more eclectic than these roles sometimes allow for. All these fantasies closely tie femininity into dominance as well, which makes them either a great fit or.. a sore fit. I do find the references to these roles throughout the book to be distracting.

If you still find yourself interested, he is a brief rundown of the Mistress Manual:

Separated into three parts – Becoming a Mistress, the Mistress in Action, and The Five Archetypal Fantasies – this book is well suited for absolute beginners or perhaps women who have struggled to get their BDSM fantasies off the ground, but it does not offer the mental or emotional assistance that some people require. Furthermore, the chapters waver in-depth, with Lorelei including much information about spanking implements but never quite explaining how to bring out submission in a reluctant partner.

The chapters in the first section explain the appeal of female domination, how to get over hang-ups about the idea, finding or creating a submissive male, and balancing fantasy and reality. The chapters in the next section discuss establishing authority, planning a first scene, the art of discipline and “bondage, humiliation and other forms of control.” The Mistress Manual wraps up with a chapter each on what Lorelei calls the 5 Archetypal Fantasies of female domination – Nursemaid, Governess, Queen, Amazon and Goddess – with an introductory chapter about fulfilling fantasies of both the dominant and her male submissive.

There are some strengths to this book. An entire chapter is dedicated to “The Reluctant Mistress” to aid newbies who are uncomfortable with the idea of female domination. It outlines reasons that women shy away from domination, such as guilt, repression, or unwillingness. Additionally, Mistress Lorelei helpfully describes how language, props, costumes, and acting can all aid in this endeavor. I hadn’t given enough thought to some of these things, and I could see why they could be detrimental to my play. Plus, Mistress Lorelei knows her impact play props and even talks about sting versus thud, as well as offering concrete information about methods of spanking. Furthermore, there is a list of ways to aid in “Combining Power and Pleasure” with tips on how language, position and other things can affect the perception of power. Lastly, the author does advise discussing thoroughly what all parties want out of domination (and the archetypes might help in determining and discussing this).

Yet I would be aware that The Mistress Manual is dated, like S&M101. The author suggests finding potential partners in the meeting places of yesteryear (ads and clubs). I did not find the suggested first scene appealing. Rather, it was bland and didn’t flow in a way that I found to be natural or satisfying. This may only be personal preference, however.

Ultimately, The Mistress Manual is not the book for me, and the points that I found helpful are few enough that I may remember them without ever needing to open it again. I would certainly steer someone toward other books (like SM101 or The New Topping Book) over The Mistress Manual. The pretentious and overly wordy style Lorelei used also detracted from my enjoyment. By the end, I was skimming the book, if only because I could no longer force myself to read it word for word. In short, The Mistress Manual is a good book if you are like Mistress Lorelei but not as good if you are like me.

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Categories: Books, Reviews

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