Best Sex Writing of the Year, Volume 1

June 14th, 2015

Best Sex Writing of the Year, Volume 1
$16.95 from Amazon

Another year, another edition of Best Sex Writing. Actually, this anthology of essays, blog posts, and personal tales doesn’t come out every year, but we’re fortunate to have a release this year. This is the first since Best Sex Writing 2013, and it’s a bit different from previous options due to a new editor, Jon Pressick.

Thus, Best Sex Writing of the Year, Volume 1 sounds like the first title in a brand-new series, but it’s actually not. So if you’ve read any of the previous Best Sex Writing books, then you know what to expect from this one. And if you haven’t, you’re in for a collection of stories and articles to entertain and inform.

There’s plenty that’s familiar with the books that are now edited by Mr. Pressick, who you might know as the brains behind Sex in Words. For instance, there is a touching piece from Joan Price, who knows how to tug at my heartstrings when discussing her deceased husband, and a piece about what exactly we should call sex toys by our own Epiphora. The former editor, Rachel K. Bussel, has even submitted a thought-provoking piece on sobriety and BDSM.

Best Sex Writing of the Year incorporates personal stories with professional studies and everything in between. Per usual, I find myself somewhat more enamored with the chapters that analyze sex and society from a scientific/research viewpoint. However, some of those personal pieces were interesting. Two such stories were those by former porn star Danny Wylde and current porn star Stoya. Wylde discusses his sex life after porn and Stoya discusses her mother’s influence on sex education, feminism and motherhood.

In another piece dedicated entirely to the industry of sex work, Laura Augustin looks at the complicated and often heart-breaking relationship that sex work and sex workers have with the world at large. Often ignored, penalized by laws and ignored by police, these people are treated as less than human and stigmatized. The article is insightful, articulate and well-researched.

There’s also a great op-ed from Alexandria Goddard, the blogger who is responsible for outting the young men of Steubenville who participated in, recorded and later posted about on social media the gang rape of a woman. Goddard was undoubtedly crucial to bringing these men to justice, and like her title says, wouldn’t change anything about what she did, even though she received a lot of flack for her actions.

There are too many stories to name individually. Jiz Lee and Mollena Williams discuss fisting and desire/submission, respectively. Tina Horn’s chapter about The Gates, a dominatrix house in Califonia, was telling and relatable, even to someone who has never been a prodomme.

In the pages of Best Sex Writing of the Year, you’ll find memoirs that make you cry, articles that enrage you and personal stories that make you chuckle and nod in understanding. Topics range from sex toys to laws to BDSM to sex work and everything in between. No corner of sexuality is left in the dark of this year’s anthology, and the collection is not only one of superb pieces by intelligent writers who love to talk about sex. Like other books in this series, and perhaps this is why I love it so much, it encourages you to talk — and think — about sex in new ways, as often as you can, and to everyone upon whom you happen.

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The Big Book of Domination Review + Giveaway

March 5th, 2015

The Big Book of Domination
$13 from Amazon

Perhaps the single most noticeable way that The Big Book of Domination differs from The big Book of Submission is the number of stories. At over 200 pages, this book could have dozens of stories, but it actually only contains 25 stories. With 69 stories in The Big Book of Submission, each story was shorter on average.

When it comes to what I like in erotica, this isn’t actually a boon. I love sudden fiction. I love sultry sex in 2000 words or less. I like reading it. I like writing it. I don’t need the flowery descriptions that add to word count. I’m not a huge fan to a ton of buildup. Show me the main event.

It just seems like the point where I would end the story introduces another scene, and I can’t keep myself glued to the pages. Perhaps I get off too quickly, but this isn’t really conducive to how I use erotica.

I also found it hard to keep my attention rapt through the first three stories, which involved male domination. Fortunately, the fourth ushers in a domme, but the first three could, perhaps, been broken up in a different order. While most of the stories do seem to pair a male dominant with a female submissive, I do like how several of them play with BDSM roles. Several stories involve submissive experiment with holding the metaphorical whip.

There are other themes that I noted in The Big Book of Domination. These include power exchanges that are surprising and somewhat sudden, either between strangers or from the point of a view of a submissive discovering another’s dominant tendencies.

Because so many of these stories seem to be from the submissive’s view point, The Big Book of Domination isn’t as different from The Big Book of Submission as I think it could be. It’s more of a general BDSM collection in my opinion. With that said, the stories happen in many different and sometimes unusual settings. There is an overall lack of cliche, even if that means I sometimes am turned off by something such as manly boot licking.

This isn’t to say that I hated the book. I didn’t. There were a few stories I found particularly enjoyable, especially the last story, “Little Angel” by Evan Mora. It was one of the many stories where someone who typically identifies as a submissive experiments with dominance and finds it thrilling!

Now, this might not be the perfect book for me but I feel confident that many people will like it. In fact, some people specifically like erotica that’s a little longer than most sudden fiction. If you liked The Big Book of Submission but thought the stories should be longer or even if you didn’t like it because each piece wasn’t long enough, I would suggest you check out The Big Book of Domination.

One lucky reader of OSAL will get their chance to read the book thanks to the folks at Cleis Press, who are sponsoring a giveaway. One American winner will get their hands on this anthology, and you can determine whether or not this book is two thumbs up.

Enter using the giveaway widget below. Remember to check back daily to earn more entries and increase your chance of winning!

Good luck!

The Big Book of Domination

Ends March 26.

I received a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

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My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory

February 17th, 2015

My Life on the Swingset
$6.99 (Kindle) from Amazon

When I was initially approached by author and lifestyle swinger Cooper Beckett to review his book, My Life on the Swingset, I was interested. But I had never heard of the guy or his podcast or website before. I’m no swinger, and I’m not much into podcasts, so maybe this isn’t to be surprised. However, I said “Yes” anyway.

My Life on the Swingset is a collection of edited writings from the Cooper’s blog, along with some new works by Cooper. If you’re already familiar with his previous works, then you’ll be acquainted with some of the characters and events, including the annual swingers retreat Desire, that are mentioned in this book. However, this is absolutely not necessary. You’ll also already be aware of the conversation way that Beckett speaks, with nerdy quips and nested brackets that I couldn’t help myself but smile at.

Conversational tone can be difficult to pull off, but it looks like years writing for Life on the Swingset has helped Cooper Beckett find his voice. In fact, I’d probably be willing to read a paper or novel on just about anything that he wrote if he did so in this style. It took very little time to think of Cooper as a friend and someone with whom I might enjoy a cup of coffee. No doubt it helped that he refers to his mistakes, his awkwardness and his geeky (a common interest!) in ways that make him seem utterly approachable. While My Life on the Swingset might not be an instructional manual, there is a lesson to be learned from this: anyone can be a swinger. It’s not a lifestyle from which you should exclude yourself if you’re interested.

There are other lessons to be found in this book, which was a quick and enjoyable read. Cooper walks us through his experimentation with swinging and the true difficulties that lay ahead for him and his now ex-wife. He talks about new relationships, becoming polyamorous and discovering himself as a bisexual man in a scene that so often discriminates against that sort of creature.

The inside look shows the sort of prejudices even swingers and self-proclaimed sex-positive kinksters can hold and use against one another, and as Beckett moves between the different types of open relationships, he shows this with honesty. Could it possibly offend some people who only want to paint the perfect picture of this lifestyle? Perhaps. But Cooper Beckett is human, after all, just like all of us any anyone who might be in any sort of open relationship. And Cooper isn’t afraid to call those humans his friends or name drop where it’s appropriate. My reading list has grown from suggestions mentioned in these pages alone.

Honesty is key to the stories told within these pages. It makes them enjoyable, and it also makes Cooper seem like the type of person I’d like to better know. Cooper also does his own self-discovery, and he reiterates how becoming polyamorous has helped him learn more about himself. There’s a child-like amazement that, even as his age, he can grow and learn about himself. It’s something that I also love about being alive.

Ultimately, ending My Life On the Swingset was like finishing an amazing conversation with a person who completely surprised me. It finished too soon, and I was sad. But the bitter was married with sweet; surely there will be other chances to pick up the conversation again. And if Cooper’s ultimate goal was to draw me in, make me a friend and motivate me to stop by the website to continue that conversation, I think we can call My Life on the Swingset a success!

 

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The Big Book of Submission: 69 Kinky Tales

January 3rd, 2015

The Big Book of Submission
$12.85 from Amazon

There’s something to be said for a good book that you can’t put down after a story/chapter or two. That’s the case with the Big Book of Submission.  I would intend to read a dozen pages, and I would finally put it down some 60 or 70 pages later. I was thoroughly enthralled and aroused, but this typically meant it took time away from sleeping or working or what-else-have-you that I should have been doing.

This meant that it took only a few sittings to get through this book, which boasts an impressive 69 stories. But because I knew I couldn’t put it down, I stretched them out for when I had time to read that much.

The Big Book of Submission is wonderful in terms of variety. There are (ignoring D/s), m/m, m/f and f/f roles. There’s a few trans stories to be found and all sorts of ambiguity around gender and gender roles. In short, it’s not heteronormative. But I think this big tome really goes one step further than that. I was really impressed at how The Big Book of Submission deal with the roles of top/dom and bottom/sub in regards to traditonal gender (roles). Not every man is the dom, nor is every butch. And through the words of the characters — almost, if not all of the stories are written in first person — we understand the implications and the intimacy of turning those roles in their heads.

Aside from variety in roles, there’s a variety in content and even in how most of the characters experience submission. For example, at least two stories dealt with a masochistic dominant and how their sub obeyed by providing sensation. The editor, Rachel Kramer Bussel, contributed one of those particular tales, entitled “Reverse Psychology.”

With 69 stories, you might think that some of them would be a little redundant, but I didn’t find this to be the case at all, even though there’s obviously similarly to the feelings that submissive feel when serving, obeying or worshiping their dominants. Each of them experiences their submission, scene and relationship in a unique way. There’s brand-new experiences, established relationships, breaking of limits and twists and turns that were crafted masterfully.

The writing in this BDSM anthology was pretty top-notch. All the authors were great at capturing the feelings evoked during a scene or in a BDSM relationship, along with the imagery that goes with it. Themes of trust and sometimes fear, hesitation and excitement, growth and pushing the boundaries are touched on time and again in this anthology. Although I am more able to identify some submissiveness in myself, this book might have the most hardened dom consider submitting a time or two!

Was there anything that I didn’t like? Sure, some stories are more forgettable. One in particular involved feet fetish, and that’s reaaalllly not my thing, so once it got to that part, I skipped to the next story. But I enjoyed more than I didn’t.

I especially enjoyed “The Problem Is, I’m a Bitch”, in which Corrine Arundo writes as a stubborn submissive who mocks a “cartoonishly” dress domme.  “Teddy Bare,” is a sexy yet sweet story about two men who wait until their first night of marriage to have sex and how they incorporate power play into their relationship. Another particularly touching story revolves around a submissive whose once-beautiful body had succumbed to illness and surgery and how her dominant helps remind her of her beauty through a public scene. Teresa Roberts penned “Beautiful,” which is one of the stories that truly stands out for me.

The one stand out story was one that managed to be both surprising, sentimental and sexy.  It’s another story by Corrin Arundo, whose work I obviously need to become more familiar with, entitled “Unanchored.” It was thoroughly titillating, like many of the other stories, but it struck an emotional chord with its solemn and sad ending that left me, quite literally, sobbing and perhaps even decimated. There is no snippet that can do the beauty of this story justice.

Just like there is no single story in this erotica collection that sums up the experience that is The Big Book of Submission. You need to dive in and read it all. Perhaps not in order, but there’s no single way to describe the experience.

A sincerely “Thank you!” to Cleis Press, the company that pretty much made my year, for the opportunity to review this book!

 

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Best Sex Writing 2013

October 19th, 2014

Best Sex Writing 2013
$13.83 from Amazon

I’ve been a fan of the Best Sex Writing series for years, The most recent edition is Best Sex Writing 2013 because it doesn’t come out every year. This one  was edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel with a foreword by Carol Queen, two names you’re probably familiar with if you follow sex education or erotica — or even if you’re just a fan of other Cleis Press publications.

This edition offers 20 different stories about the “state of sexual culture.” Each of the pieces is supposed to represent the sex writing about sex, but the authors, themes, subjects and approaches are all different. Some of the authors are those with whom you may already be familiar, including Carol Queen herself, but some of the authors aren’t really from the sex realm, which I find adds variety.

Of the twenty stores, two or three really stood out for me.

“Very Legal: Sex and Love in Retirement” introduces us to the dynamics of relationships and sex in a retirement community. The writer, Alex Morris, does a good job treating these people like people, which is sometimes difficult with a generation that the world would otherwise like to leave behind closed doors — let alone discuss their relationships.

“Rest Stop Confidential” was an interesting look at the culture of anonymous gay sex in bathrooms and one of the personal accounts that I found more interesting.

Lori Selke’s “Dear John” is literally a breakup letter to the leather community that has transformed and is no longer welcoming to her. I can imagine Lori might be stepping on some people’s toes, but I think it’s a very interesting glance into the workings of the alt community as a whole.

However, my absolute favorite must be “Lost Boys.” This lengthy piece toward the end of the book talks about issues with homelessness, sex work and abuse on the streets of large cities such as NYC. The writer, Kristen Hinman, takes a look into a groundbreaking study by Curtis in Dank, Not only did this research shatter the illusion of who was a child sex worker — teenaged girls — but it also painted a picture about how many underage sex workers were actually walking the streets. The importance of this, I learned through reading, has a lot to do with the organizations that are leaching money out of the government and taxpayers for programs to help this population, a population that is realistically little like the story we’re told that pulls at our heartstrings. You should really read the piece in this book or the published study because there’s a lot of interesting information to be had there, and it’s stunning that this survey hasn’t had a greater impact.

Overall, the submissions to last year’s Best Sex Writing anthology tended to be more personal or anecdotal in nature. This doesn’t make them less interesting to read, but for me, they’re less memorable. Pieces that are more scientific or studious in nature tend to resonate better with me, The notable exception is Carol Queens’ “Ghosts: All my Men Are Dead.” In this sad tale, the sex educator talks about how the men she met as a queer person who moved to California have passed away, almost all from HIV/AIDS. It’s a somber story but also an interesting look into sex education and rights movements, which initially had little room for a woman.

You might prefer the personal stories in Best Sex Writing 2013 more than I did as a whole. Either way, I am certainly not going to stop checking out these books. There’s certainly going to be variation depending upon what authors and researchers do over the past year or so, and I will always be interested in picking up the next Best Sex Writing book.

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Categories: Books, Reviews

Wrapped Around Your Finger

October 16th, 2014

Wrapped Around Your Finger
A Story of Submission
$16.95 from Amazon

I don’t know that I’ve ever reviewed a full-length piece of erotica before. I tend to stick to anthologies, and most of those stories are quite short indeed. I’ve avoided 50 Shades of Grey for reasons of sanity.  I’ve read the first book in the Sleeping Beauty series, but it’s not very long at all. In comparison, the approximately 225 pages of Wrapped Around Your Finger seems like a Tolkien tome. However, it’s really not that long. I read this cover to cover in 3 or 4 sittings, and in one of those I consumed at least half of the book.

Wrapped Around Your Finger is actually the third in a series about a BDSM relationship by Alison Tyler. It’s part fiction and part memoir, and I don’t personally know where the line is drawn, but I don’t think I want to know. That’s part of this illusion.  While this is the third in the series, you certainly don’t need to have read the first two. It might help clarify a few things, but it’s not necessary.

I started this book knowing nothing about submissive Samantha and her dominant partner, Jack, but it didn’t take long to get to know them and the dynamics of their relationships, which is 24/7 power exchange. Samantha is young, perhaps in a cliche, but Alison Tyler’s writes a character who is aware of this and what her well-to-do partner’s status means in regards to her youth and perhaps naivete.

In spite of that all, Samantha and Jack manage to pull off a relationship that allows them both to grow through power exchange and the introduction of Jack’s assistant Alex. Samantha isn’t blind or abused. She’s intelligent. In fact, she’s a sex writer in the story, and this plays out in her interactions with Jack.

Because of Jack’s money and status, the couple is afforded a somewhat more lavish life, which Samantha isn’t accustomed to, but it’s not limitless. Jack has connections, but he’s not magical. He has power and dominant characteristics, but this isn’t all he is. As the characters learn more about one another and themselves, we understand how intricate these relationships — any relationships — can be, and how that can both be damning and a blessing. This, folks, is good storytelling.

With the impending 50 Shades of Grey movie and a miniseries featuring Sleeping Beauty in all her erotic glory, I could see Samantha on screen. Not only do I think it would make a better movie, but I think that Ms. Tyler’s descriptive writing would work well in live action, especially when it comes to Samantha’s intricate outfits.

I cannot help but compare this to 50 Shades of Grey. There are obvious similarities, but skilled writing, more three-dimensional characters and general forethought on the part of the author makes this read both more interesting and more sexy. In fact, I can say that I am not a fan of Samantha’s personality or even her relationship with Jack as a whole, and I still found Wrapped Around Your Finger to be rather enjoyable. I would definitely recommend it to anyone who wants a more realistic view of BDSM or simply a sexy story that’s decently written.

You can buy it from Amazon or any of the retailers that stock books from the publisher

 

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Flying High: Sexy Stories from the Mile High Club [Review + Giveaway]

May 6th, 2014

Flying High
$15.95 from Amazon

Now, I’m not a member of the mile high club, but I think there’s something to be said for having sex on airplanes. Otherwise, why would so many people fantasize about it? I imagine it has something to do with being able to have sex with so many people around and not having them notice or, if it’s your thing, because you want them to notice. Perhaps the challenge of having sex in such a small place only makes the adrenaline run faster. Some people might rely on the release and reward of sex to calm their flying nerves or pass the time, which certainly seems to crawl by when you’re 30,000 feet above sea level with nothing but clouds out your window.

However, writing about sex on airplanes certainly presents another challenge. How do you make your story stand apart from those written by others? Indeed, I imagine that Rachel Kramer Bussel saw many similar themes, but the editor at Cleis Press was able to pull together enough stories to create an anthology that remains interesting and less than redundant. Although, I wouldn’t necessarily recommend reading the book in one sitting as it could become rather mundane.

Flying High does a good job of providing us with situations — strangers meeting on an airplane for sex, cybersex on airplanes, voyeurism, masturbation airlines and more — to keep things interesting. Many of the authors have added fantasy elements, which keep the stories in the book from being more of the same.

Like I said, I understand why sex on an airplane is appealing to some even though it’s not number one on my list of sexual acts to do. So I was pleasantly surprised when I opened the pages of this book and began enjoying it right off the bat. In fact the first story by Bill Kte’pe, one in which two couples who met online have arranged for a sexual rendezvous in the sky, is one of the most memorable of the book. It helps the book take flight without a hitch. The surprise ending adds to the story in my opinion, but I won’t spoil it for you.

Like any anthology, not every story in Flying High was for more. I skipped over one or two completely. In some cases, the airplane is really almost inconsequential. In stories like “Top Banana,” being on an airplane and one operated by a specific airline creates a recurring theme. In that particular story, Craig Sorensen relies on the theme to craft an interesting story and colorful visuals with an ending that I didn’t quite see coming — no pun intended.

The style and skill of the authors in Flying High varies as much as the particular plots of the stories. Some were simply not to my liking, and others seemed a little inexperienced or lacking the subtlety that I think makes a good story. However, they all brought something different to the table. Flying High might not be a book that you reach for constantly, but it’s worth checking out if you have a thing for the mile high club, especially if you’re not quite bold enough to go there yourself.

 

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