101 Nights of Great Sex

May 9th, 2016

Essentially, 101 Nights of Great Sex is a list of 101 sexy ideas, or seductions, as curated by author Laura Corn. These include reader and “expert” suggestions. They’re categorized by “for him” or “for her’ and intended for the other partner to initiate. Many of them are intended to be a surprise, but they don’t need to be. More on that later.

The book isn’t split into the sections. Rather, the him/her seductions seem pretty random. It might make more sense to make the first half “for him” and the second half “for her” just to be easier, but then who would read the entire book?

The problem with their attempt to get the reader to turn every page, at least with the digital version, is formatting. Every “For His Eyes Only” uses the same image of a woman in a garter belt that my Kindle also retrieved as the book cover. “For Her Eyes Only” seductions use the same image of a shirtless man, but neither needs to be repeated. It adds needless scrolling and doesn’t look all that good.

As I sat down to write this review, I couldn’t help but think about some of the things that I didn’t like about 101 Nights of Great Sex. For example, there are multiple mentions of Astroglide and other poor-quality lube and sex toys. For specific products, the author mentions the URL of a store where it could be purchased. These include Babeland and Good Vibes if I recall correctly. While this could be useful, it would be more useful to craft a storefront where readers could buy all the suggested products (and it would make the author some money!).

Some of the “ingredients” lists for each seduction get mixed up with the first paragraph that talks about the inspiration, too. This may be something that’s been corrected in the published version, but my review version seemed a bit sloppy and unfinished. I would have been disappointed had I paid for it.

There are multiple references to 50 Shades of Grey, which we all know is crap. It’s easy to allude to the books, the characters, the content and even the author, but easy doesn’t necessarily make it right.

The girlish manner in which these things are mentioned indicates that the same crowd who liked the mommy smut is the target audience of 101 nights. There’s nothing wrong with that, I guess, but I actually think there’s potential within these pages that shouldn’t be limited to just that. But if the assumption is that the type of people who liked 50 Shades are mommies potentially in a sexual rut, maybe that was the intent. 101 Nights is intended exactly to cure that.

My last complaints revolve around food: that’s typically a yeast infection waiting to happen, and the fact that many seductions assume mobility, ability and general fitness of participants.

Plus, the entire book is pretty heteronormative. I mean, that’s obvious when you consider that the entire thing is written with things for a woman to do to/for her man and vice versa. Again, this is something that’s just more limited than it needs to be. But it’s not all bad.

For starters, the content really runs the gamut. There’s bondage, roleplay, sex toys, massage, dress up, sexting and more. There’s something for everyone, even if you don’t like every seduction. Each seduction includes a list of things you’ll need, from lingerie to sex toys to office supplies. Laura occasionally mentions options based on your preferences and what you have available. This allows for alterations, and the general tone indicates that you can stray from the idea as long as it inspires you. In this way, 101 Nights of Great Sex could help spice things up in the bedroom.

There’s also supplemental digital content in the form of “e-teases.” Some seductions contain URLs toward the beginning of the chapter. If you visit the website, you can send an email to your lover to schedule a date. This can help to make sex happen and gauge your partner’s interest. If they aren’t down, they can suggest another “date”. Or they can accept. It would be great to this concept expanded a bit, perhaps with the ability to add it to your calendar through your mail app.

It would also be wonderful to provide some sort of feedback, both to your partner and also to the site. This would encourage discussion about sex between couples but it would also be one way for each “seduction”  to be further improved.

While I was surprised to find out how much I liked the supplemental content on the website, there are a few caveats. Currently, the link to the app on Google Play comes up 404, and I cannot find the 101 Nights app in the store. That’s a pretty big issue. Secondly, it took some digging around to find the list to e-teases for her and for him. There was no direct link from the e-tease pages or the main website. Less tech-savvy folks would have an even more difficult time. [Update: The website has since been redesigned, and I have no idea where they are.]

That’s if they even decided to use the site. The book doesn’t really do a great job at making you want to go to those e-teasers; in fact, it starts with the first seduction without any introduction. I found the inclusion of the URLs in some seduction sections to be curious, but was almost at the end by the time I even decided to give them a visit. Since I was reading the e-book, it only makes sense to make those URLs into links.

While I didn’t personally love some of the suggestions, there’s something to the concept that’s presented in 101 Nights. With a bit of tweaking, especially to the e-book, this concept would be quite dynamic and invaluable to the right reader, whoever that might be.

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As Kinky as You Wanna Be: Your Guide to Safe, Sane and Smart BDSM

August 11th, 2015

What makes As Kinky as You Wanna Be stand out among the myriad of other instructional BDSM books? For starters, it’s not so much a “how to” as some of those books, and Shanna quickly discusses this in the beginning. There are plenty of books that offer this type of information. Off the top of my head, I’d suggest SM101 by Jay Wiseman. He writes about the nitty gritty of bondage and safety, knots and other practical skills. There are books by the likes of 2 Knotty Boys, who also have YouTube videos, to get you started on the right foot, too.

The second difference between this book is how it’s arranged. Each chapter/section has a theme. Shanna discusses the theme, then follows an interview with someone who is especially knowledgable and experienced with that specific subject matter. In fact, Wiseman is one of those people! Then, you’ll have an erotica story or two surrounding the chapter’s theme.

I find the erotica helps to break up the instruction, but it also helps illustrate the subject that’s being discussed in a tangible yet fantastic way that can help a reader who may not be so familiar with certain concepts surrounding BDSM. For example, the section on consent and safewords includes two erotic pieces where couples are exploring their kinky sides and boundaries, each party looking for feedback that their exploration hasn’t crossed into unwanted territory.

Before these stories, Shanna discusses her own experiences surrounding consent, where she and her partner would ask what the other wanted. Well before she was thinking about the idea of consent or even what it means to be kinky, Ms. Germain was engaging in explicitly consented activities.  She goes on to detail SSC and RACK and delves into negotiation, highlighting how it doesn’t always happen at the beginning of a relationship or activities. She describes safewords as a way of removing consent, which I quite like.

Like every other chapter in the book, this is followed with some actionable tips for people who want to put the advice into practice. The repeated format is great because you always know what’s coming, even though the table of contents appears quite long because each of the eight chapters has at least two subsections.

The book is really quite short at 183 pages, including the afterword, glossary, resources and author bios. And the progression of the chapters from discovery to discusses to to consent to toys to ettiquette to health to safety and, finally, through “handling rough terrain” makes perfect sense. It also allows the reader to choose the chapters that are most useful to them.

Shanna Germain discusses all of this with a conversational tone that’s approachable. She talks about her own experience and kinky identity, and she manages to do it all in a way that puts the reader at ease, which I think it important with texts like these. Ms. Germain is an open-minded person, and she knows she’s likely to continue growing as a person. This flexibility is, perhaps, missing from some discussion and resources about BDSM and kinky interests. It’s refreshing.

Although As Kinky as You Wanna Be didn’t introduce me to much new — even many of the contributors were quite familiar to me as a kinky reader and sex blogger — I do feel like it’s a great introductory book to anyone who might be wondering if they’re kinky or who may know they are but not sure where to go from there.

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Between the Shores: Erotica with Consent

June 19th, 2015

Often, in erotica, consent is implied but not necessarily discussed. In poor erotica, like Fifty Shades of Grey, it’s outright abused through force. But once thing that kinksters actually know is that consent is a must. And in Between the Shores, talented authors show us that consent can be sexy, too.

This collection of erotica is therefore a little different than others. Consent may be incidental in some erotic stories, and often is when it comes to those about BDSM, but it takes front and center in this anthology, by Annabeth Leong, T. C. Mill and Alex Freeman, of twenty stories. It’s one of the offerings from The New Smut Project, a collective of people who want to publish erotica featuring “high-quality writing and nuanced, diverse characterization.” And you can’t really argue with that.

In fact, I would say the quality of Between the Shores if among the best of all the erotica I’ve read, and that says something given how many books I’ve reviewed. I am particularly reminded of Red Velvet and Absinthe, one of my favorite collections from a few years ago, which features supernatural sex and romance. I found it surprising how the theme of consent worked so well with supernatural sexuality. This is the case with “Vine” by Melissa Snowdon, which is as creative as it is sultry. In fact, it reminds me just a bit of something you might read by Neil Gaiman.

“Waiting for the Light to Change” is another story with supernatural origins, something like lycanthropy. I always find this theme extremely hot! And T.C. Mill, one of the editors, has also contributed a story in which a vampire-like alien who has made her way to Earth negotiates a way to sate her literal bloodlust with her chosen human lover. This might be my favorite of all the stories as it combines romance, consent, vampirism and kink.

Obviously, the theme of consent lends itself well to stories involving bondage. “Rolling Deep” is just one of several. But consent also allows characters to explore – and push boundaries – and sometimes not to push those boundaries at all. This means at least one of the stories in this book was a bit anti-climactic for me, even though it absolutely meets the requirements of consent.

For example, “How Can I Meet You” is a thoughtful delving into what two women will do to meet the other’s needs while having their own limits. Those limits are certainly interesting but not necessarily erotically inspiring, so I did occasionally find myself skipping ahead to the sexy parts of stories like that.

The last story I’d like to mention is one of the last in the book. In “Undercover Cops: EXPOSED” we get an interesting mix of suspense, cross-dressing, bisexuality (or perhaps just curiosity) and consent within the confines of a police mystery. Skip ahead a few stories and you’ve got a swashbuckling erotic thriller that ends this book on a high note!

It’s hard not to mention nearly every store in this book because the focus in literature and high-quality writing provides the reader with an experience that provokes the mind as much as it does the clit. If this is what we can expect from this company, it’s definitely one to keep an eye on!

Between The Shores offers such a variety of erotica literature. It’s not heteronormative in the lease.  We see entanglements between strangers, established partners and everything in between. There are threesomes, including the sexy negotiation that happens in “The Art of Improvisation,” written by Alex Freeman. There’s even a story that analyzes the ability to consent while being woken up to sex while also touching on consent and mental illness. It’s wonderfully done in a loving way. Props to Lark Green for that!

Even though not every book in this collection was exactly my book of tea, it was a nice departure from standard erotica. If you buy this as a Kindle version right now, you’ll save 50%. It’s under $4. It’s practically free!

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Best Sex Writing of the Year, Volume 1

June 14th, 2015

Another year, another edition of Best Sex Writing. Actually, this anthology of essays, blog posts, and personal tales doesn’t come out every year, but we’re fortunate to have a release this year. This is the first since Best Sex Writing 2013, and it’s a bit different from previous options due to a new editor, Jon Pressick.

Thus, Best Sex Writing of the Year, Volume 1 sounds like the first title in a brand-new series, but it’s actually not. So if you’ve read any of the previous Best Sex Writing books, then you know what to expect from this one. And if you haven’t, you’re in for a collection of stories and articles to entertain and inform.

There’s plenty that’s familiar with the books that are now edited by Mr. Pressick, who you might know as the brains behind Sex in Words. For instance, there is a touching piece from Joan Price, who knows how to tug at my heartstrings when discussing her deceased husband, and a piece about what exactly we should call sex toys by our own Epiphora. The former editor, Rachel K. Bussel, has even submitted a thought-provoking piece on sobriety and BDSM.

Best Sex Writing of the Year incorporates personal stories with professional studies and everything in between. Per usual, I find myself somewhat more enamored with the chapters that analyze sex and society from a scientific/research viewpoint. However, some of those personal pieces were interesting. Two such stories were those by former porn star Danny Wylde and current porn star Stoya. Wylde discusses his sex life after porn and Stoya discusses her mother’s influence on sex education, feminism and motherhood.

In another piece dedicated entirely to the industry of sex work, Laura Augustin looks at the complicated and often heart-breaking relationship that sex work and sex workers have with the world at large. Often ignored, penalized by laws and ignored by police, these people are treated as less than human and stigmatized. The article is insightful, articulate and well-researched.

There’s also a great op-ed from Alexandria Goddard, the blogger who is responsible for outting the young men of Steubenville who participated in, recorded and later posted about on social media the gang rape of a woman. Goddard was undoubtedly crucial to bringing these men to justice, and like her title says, wouldn’t change anything about what she did, even though she received a lot of flack for her actions.

There are too many stories to name individually. Jiz Lee and Mollena Williams discuss fisting and desire/submission, respectively. Tina Horn’s chapter about The Gates, a dominatrix house in Califonia, was telling and relatable, even to someone who has never been a prodomme.

In the pages of Best Sex Writing of the Year, you’ll find memoirs that make you cry, articles that enrage you and personal stories that make you chuckle and nod in understanding. Topics range from sex toys to laws to BDSM to sex work and everything in between. No corner of sexuality is left in the dark of this year’s anthology, and the collection is not only one of superb pieces by intelligent writers who love to talk about sex. Like other books in this series, and perhaps this is why I love it so much, it encourages you to talk — and think — about sex in new ways, as often as you can, and to everyone upon whom you happen.

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The Big Book of Domination Review + Giveaway

March 5th, 2015

Perhaps the single most noticeable way that The Big Book of Domination differs from The big Book of Submission is the number of stories. At over 200 pages, this book could have dozens of stories, but it actually only contains 25 stories. With 69 stories in The Big Book of Submission, each story was shorter on average.

When it comes to what I like in erotica, this isn’t actually a boon. I love sudden fiction. I love sultry sex in 2000 words or less. I like reading it. I like writing it. I don’t need the flowery descriptions that add to word count. I’m not a huge fan to a ton of buildup. Show me the main event.

It just seems like the point where I would end the story introduces another scene, and I can’t keep myself glued to the pages. Perhaps I get off too quickly, but this isn’t really conducive to how I use erotica.

I also found it hard to keep my attention rapt through the first three stories, which involved male domination. Fortunately, the fourth ushers in a domme, but the first three could, perhaps, been broken up in a different order. While most of the stories do seem to pair a male dominant with a female submissive, I do like how several of them play with BDSM roles. Several stories involve submissive experiment with holding the metaphorical whip.

There are other themes that I noted in The Big Book of Domination. These include power exchanges that are surprising and somewhat sudden, either between strangers or from the point of a view of a submissive discovering another’s dominant tendencies.

Because so many of these stories seem to be from the submissive’s view point, The Big Book of Domination isn’t as different from The Big Book of Submission as I think it could be. It’s more of a general BDSM collection in my opinion. With that said, the stories happen in many different and sometimes unusual settings. There is an overall lack of cliche, even if that means I sometimes am turned off by something such as manly boot licking.

This isn’t to say that I hated the book. I didn’t. There were a few stories I found particularly enjoyable, especially the last story, “Little Angel” by Evan Mora. It was one of the many stories where someone who typically identifies as a submissive experiments with dominance and finds it thrilling!

Now, this might not be the perfect book for me but I feel confident that many people will like it. In fact, some people specifically like erotica that’s a little longer than most sudden fiction. If you liked The Big Book of Submission but thought the stories should be longer or even if you didn’t like it because each piece wasn’t long enough, I would suggest you check out The Big Book of Domination.

One lucky reader of OSAL will get their chance to read the book thanks to the folks at Cleis Press, who are sponsoring a giveaway. One American winner will get their hands on this anthology, and you can determine whether or not this book is two thumbs up.

Enter using the giveaway widget below. Remember to check back daily to earn more entries and increase your chance of winning!

Good luck!

The Big Book of Domination

Ends March 26.

I received a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

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My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory

February 17th, 2015

My Life on the Swingset
$6.99 (Kindle) from Amazon

When I was initially approached by author and lifestyle swinger Cooper Beckett to review his book, My Life on the Swingset, I was interested. But I had never heard of the guy or his podcast or website before. I’m no swinger, and I’m not much into podcasts, so maybe this isn’t to be surprised. However, I said “Yes” anyway.

My Life on the Swingset is a collection of edited writings from the Cooper’s blog, along with some new works by Cooper. If you’re already familiar with his previous works, then you’ll be acquainted with some of the characters and events, including the annual swingers retreat Desire, that are mentioned in this book. However, this is absolutely not necessary. You’ll also already be aware of the conversation way that Beckett speaks, with nerdy quips and nested brackets that I couldn’t help myself but smile at.

Conversational tone can be difficult to pull off, but it looks like years writing for Life on the Swingset has helped Cooper Beckett find his voice. In fact, I’d probably be willing to read a paper or novel on just about anything that he wrote if he did so in this style. It took very little time to think of Cooper as a friend and someone with whom I might enjoy a cup of coffee. No doubt it helped that he refers to his mistakes, his awkwardness and his geeky (a common interest!) in ways that make him seem utterly approachable. While My Life on the Swingset might not be an instructional manual, there is a lesson to be learned from this: anyone can be a swinger. It’s not a lifestyle from which you should exclude yourself if you’re interested.

There are other lessons to be found in this book, which was a quick and enjoyable read. Cooper walks us through his experimentation with swinging and the true difficulties that lay ahead for him and his now ex-wife. He talks about new relationships, becoming polyamorous and discovering himself as a bisexual man in a scene that so often discriminates against that sort of creature.

The inside look shows the sort of prejudices even swingers and self-proclaimed sex-positive kinksters can hold and use against one another, and as Beckett moves between the different types of open relationships, he shows this with honesty. Could it possibly offend some people who only want to paint the perfect picture of this lifestyle? Perhaps. But Cooper Beckett is human, after all, just like all of us any anyone who might be in any sort of open relationship. And Cooper isn’t afraid to call those humans his friends or name drop where it’s appropriate. My reading list has grown from suggestions mentioned in these pages alone.

Honesty is key to the stories told within these pages. It makes them enjoyable, and it also makes Cooper seem like the type of person I’d like to better know. Cooper also does his own self-discovery, and he reiterates how becoming polyamorous has helped him learn more about himself. There’s a child-like amazement that, even as his age, he can grow and learn about himself. It’s something that I also love about being alive.

Ultimately, ending My Life On the Swingset was like finishing an amazing conversation with a person who completely surprised me. It finished too soon, and I was sad. But the bitter was married with sweet; surely there will be other chances to pick up the conversation again. And if Cooper’s ultimate goal was to draw me in, make me a friend and motivate me to stop by the website to continue that conversation, I think we can call My Life on the Swingset a success!

 

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The Big Book of Submission: 69 Kinky Tales

January 3rd, 2015

There’s something to be said for a good book that you can’t put down after a story/chapter or two. That’s the case with the Big Book of Submission.  I would intend to read a dozen pages, and I would finally put it down some 60 or 70 pages later. I was thoroughly enthralled and aroused, but this typically meant it took time away from sleeping or working or what-else-have-you that I should have been doing.

This meant that it took only a few sittings to get through this book, which boasts an impressive 69 stories. But because I knew I couldn’t put it down, I stretched them out for when I had time to read that much.

The Big Book of Submission is wonderful in terms of variety. There are (ignoring D/s), m/m, m/f and f/f roles. There’s a few trans stories to be found and all sorts of ambiguity around gender and gender roles. In short, it’s not heteronormative. But I think this big tome really goes one step further than that. I was really impressed at how The Big Book of Submission deal with the roles of top/dom and bottom/sub in regards to traditonal gender (roles). Not every man is the dom, nor is every butch. And through the words of the characters — almost, if not all of the stories are written in first person — we understand the implications and the intimacy of turning those roles in their heads.

Aside from variety in roles, there’s a variety in content and even in how most of the characters experience submission. For example, at least two stories dealt with a masochistic dominant and how their sub obeyed by providing sensation. The editor, Rachel Kramer Bussel, contributed one of those particular tales, entitled “Reverse Psychology.”

With 69 stories, you might think that some of them would be a little redundant, but I didn’t find this to be the case at all, even though there’s obviously similarly to the feelings that submissive feel when serving, obeying or worshiping their dominants. Each of them experiences their submission, scene and relationship in a unique way. There’s brand-new experiences, established relationships, breaking of limits and twists and turns that were crafted masterfully.

The writing in this BDSM anthology was pretty top-notch. All the authors were great at capturing the feelings evoked during a scene or in a BDSM relationship, along with the imagery that goes with it. Themes of trust and sometimes fear, hesitation and excitement, growth and pushing the boundaries are touched on time and again in this anthology. Although I am more able to identify some submissiveness in myself, this book might have the most hardened dom consider submitting a time or two!

Was there anything that I didn’t like? Sure, some stories are more forgettable. One in particular involved feet fetish, and that’s reaaalllly not my thing, so once it got to that part, I skipped to the next story. But I enjoyed more than I didn’t.

I especially enjoyed “The Problem Is, I’m a Bitch”, in which Corrine Arundo writes as a stubborn submissive who mocks a “cartoonishly” dress domme.  “Teddy Bare,” is a sexy yet sweet story about two men who wait until their first night of marriage to have sex and how they incorporate power play into their relationship. Another particularly touching story revolves around a submissive whose once-beautiful body had succumbed to illness and surgery and how her dominant helps remind her of her beauty through a public scene. Teresa Roberts penned “Beautiful,” which is one of the stories that truly stands out for me.

The one stand out story was one that managed to be both surprising, sentimental and sexy.  It’s another story by Corrin Arundo, whose work I obviously need to become more familiar with, entitled “Unanchored.” It was thoroughly titillating, like many of the other stories, but it struck an emotional chord with its solemn and sad ending that left me, quite literally, sobbing and perhaps even decimated. There is no snippet that can do the beauty of this story justice.

Just like there is no single story in this erotica collection that sums up the experience that is The Big Book of Submission. You need to dive in and read it all. Perhaps not in order, but there’s no single way to describe the experience.

A sincerely “Thank you!” to Cleis Press, the company that pretty much made my year, for the opportunity to review this book!

 

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