Ambiance Luxury Massage Candle

April 5th, 2012

This is an archived review of a discontinued item.

The smell of the pear vanilla Ambiance candle from Good Vibes is amazing. Right out of the jar, which has its own metal lid, you smell fresh vanilla and crisp pear. It’s natural and fruity and I love it. Even after burning, the pear smells just so amazing. It makes my mouth water. Unfortunately, the vanilla becomes a little syrupy and artificial. It reminds me a bit too much of that failed Lelo massage candle I tried not too long ago. Still, the pear works well and I’ve actually spent more time using this as a regular candle because of that.

The 11-ounce jars are definitely larger than those of some similar candles. The price of $24 is more than I’d like to pay without a coupon. For a regular scented candle, I could find one that’s cheaper. Still, it’s one of the most affordable options that Good Vibes carries, and it’s so much more affordable than Jimmyjane’s massage candles, which have always been hit-or-miss, in my experience.

The design is pretty simple. Each sent has a different label, and the product name and scent is printed in a very crispy, minimalist design on the front. The label doesn’t want to peel off of mine, without struggling, but it’s discreet. There’s also a snug lid, which can help to preserve the scent and prevent dust and dirt from settling in your wax.

I’m less than halfway done with my candle, and I’ve let it burn for several hours on a few different occasions, so it’s served me well. The product page advertises a 40-hour burn time. That’s probably on the high end, but this is supposed to last 30 to 35 hours. It’s burned fairly evenly, which is always nice. I do have to trim the wick, which I often forget. Otherwise, the wax becomes cloudy and dirty. It seems like this wax burns at a slightly higher point than some massage candles, which isn’t a great thing. I’m always a little apprehensive to stick my hand in. It’s not scalding, but I bet some people will find it too hot.

This candle performs better than most of the candles I’ve tried recently. Still, it’s not as good as an oil. The melted wax puddles well, and the first few rubs work very well. Unfortunately, as the wax cools to skin temperature, it becomes thicker and stickier. This takes only a few seconds, and the wax causes enough friction to ruin my massage mood. Then, the Ambiance candle just feels greasy and heavy.

While I applaud the effort to provide consumers with an affordable alternative to massage candles already on the market, I feel like this isn’t truly a luxury candle. I just want to return to my beloved oils.

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Devour Me Lickable Body Oil

March 10th, 2012

I’ve enjoyed me some creme brulee in the past but I don’t entirely enjoy the creme brulee flavored body oil. There are some things that I like about it however. The glass bottle is adorable. It’s thick enough that it doesn’t feel like it will break — and it didn’t when my cats knocked it off the dresser. In addition to this, the label is modern and clean. That’s part of the reason that the product attracted me to begin with.

However, the bottle isn’t all that practical for a massage oil. The mouth is quite small and you can’t actually pour from it. Instead, you have to tap tap tap until you get some product out and that’s going to be something that frustrates anyone. So, I haven’t been able to get a nice pool of product out to test. It’s not sticky, as the product description implies but you’re going to head to an easier to use bottle if you want to give a long and sensuous massage. You may wind up transferring this to a different container, which kind of defeats the purpose of such a nice bottle.

The little that I did use was slick but could have been slicker. It wasn’t sticky and left my skin feeling soft. I didn’t feel the need to wash it off. The scent also stayed with me for quite some time.

The creme brulee scent is really interesting. In the bottle, it smells exactly like sausage and pancakes. It makes me hungry. I realize I chose a food scent but there’s a definite salty meat and maple syrup smell which I just don’t quite love. Once I began massaging the oil into my skin, the scent changed to something lighter and more appropriate for use on the body. I’m not sure if it’s exactly creme brulee, however. There’s a sort of spicy cinnamon or nutmeg mixed with hints of vanilla.

The taste test left a lot to be desired, really. It tasted like a spicy nutmeg. It was a little too much for my preferences and I got nothing sweet out of it at all, like I would expect. I’m sure that my problems are related to the specific flavor I picked. The reviews indicate that the pina colada is quite enjoyable. I just wanted to try something different.. and it was a miss. The Devour Me Lickable Body Oil is really cheap enough that you could purchase a few flavors to see which you liked the best and pass the ones that you don’t love off to someone else.

However, application in large amounts is still a problem. I’d forgo the pretty bottle for one that worked better.

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Lelo Massage Candle

September 29th, 2011

When it comes to the design of Lelo’s massage candles, they’re really quite solid. Each candle sits in a black ceramic (I think) glass that is just a tiny bit translucent. The candle has a metal lid with a looped handle on top. The handle is made of an amber-colored plastic that, in my opinion, is the low point of the design. It’s probably just because it’s not my favorite color.

When you first open the candle, there is a piece of foam with an attached ribbon. I’m not entirely sure what functions this serves. Perhaps it helps to seal the easily melted wax in place? Or keeps the scent for longer? It’s a bit like the cotton wad at the top of a pill bottle.

The wax itself is soft and white. It’s not difficult to rub some off with a finger but it is noticeably more firm than any other massage candle I’ve tried. This means that you will have to burn the candle either hotter or longer than others and it’s peculiar, to say the least. However, perhaps Lelo wanted to stress the longer burn time over the massage properties. There’s certainly a balance to be achieved, and I think this product just missed the mark.

The scent I requested to review was vanilla & creme de cacao. I’m not exactly sure what that should smell like. Red velvet cake, maybe? I’m also not entirely sure how to describe what it does smell like. The unlit candle isn’t pleasant in the least. After lighting, it smells better and I can detect the vanilla.. but it almost smells like spoiled cake batter. It’s almost like something snuck in there with the good smell.

Even if I loved the smell, I’d still have to complain because it’s virtually impossible to detect unless I hold the candle right under my nose. It doesn’t waft through the air. It’s nearly impossible to detect.

Perhaps Lelo has still created a product that works well even if it doesn’t smell amazing, you ask? No, they didn’t. I don’t know what to say about this one, but I lit the candle to melt before I started writing this review, and even after letting it burn for several minutes, there’s barely enough wax melted to give a hand massage, let alone a full-body one. I can also feel that the wax is much hotter than other candles, and I suspect it burns so hot that the wax is literally melting away rather than melting into oil. Plus, the candle doesn’t burn evenly. There’s still plenty of wax on the sides.

The cylindrical container, while cute, isn’t actually ideal for pouring what oil there is because there’s no lip or spout to direct the oil. That’s why I have drip lines of wax down the side. You have to hold your hand directly next to the jar (and flame) and risk burning to avoid spilling. You’d think a premium company would have considered this detail. It’s not my ideal choice, but my furniture is more expensive than my skin, so there’s my choice.

Unfortunately, the list of moisturizing ingredients doesn’t include aloe–even though it does include vitamin E, soy wax, shea butter and apricot kernel oil–so I can’t use this handle to heal the wounds it causes. Just kidding. It’s not that hot.

If you’re patient enough to wait and then use this too-hot product, you’ll probably still be disappointed. It’s probably the greasiest-feeling massage product I’ve ever used. It rubs into the skin quickly and has a thick feeling that actually seems to cause drag. Lelo’s massage candles really make me want to wash my skin as quickly as possible.

I can’t wait to burn this up so I can put something useful, like pennies, in the container. Other than that, there is not a single redeeming quality about the Lelo massage candles.

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Shunga Passion Apple Massage Oil

September 5th, 2011

Although you can still buy other scents of Shunga massage oil, the company no longer makes this one.

When it comes to massage oils, like lubes, I’m not entirely pick. Does it glide a bit? Does it ease stress on the hands? Do I feel disgusting afterward? Will my skin be all sparkly (but not like a vampire)? The right answers to those questions–yes, yes no and yes, respectively–will garner a generally positive review with me. The thing that is bound to set apart a massage product, or any sensual item really, is the scent.

And boy did Shunga get it right with their Massage Oil. I decided to try something different than my typical choice of red berries. Red apples it was. Actually, I don’t know if this oil smells like red apples or green or a mixture of both, but it’s crisp, fruity, delicious, and exactly apple-y Not apple-like. Not apple-ish but apple-y. It reminds me of a diffuser oil I bought a while back (and now I may have to try to find it again). My only real complaint is that the smell doesn’t last as long as some of my other massage products. It definitely fades quickly, and this makes me a sad panda.

While Shunga’s performance doesn’t outshine any other massage oil (eh, they’re oils LOL), the scent is probably my second favorite–ever. It’s only right behind the Oil of Love in raspberry that I reviewed forever ago and, to be honest, that will probably remain my favorite massage oil if only because it’s also flavored and heating!

Shunga does have the heads up in that is has a larger bottle. In fact, the eight ounces of the massage oil is more than any other massage oil product I own and I’d hazard a guess that it’s the most affordable, per ounce. Secondly, the bottle uses the push top cap that most massage oils use. However, I have the older style of bottle with the cork and it’s messy and not foolproof.

So, if you’re into massage and want to try a different scent, Shunga’s Massage Oil in Passion Apple is something that probably won’t ever go up on my ToySwap list, and you should buy it yourself.

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Bijoux Indiscrets cosmetics for better sex

Relaxing Massage Oil

August 7th, 2011

When I picked Intimate Organic’s relaxing massage oil to review, I was hoping the blend of lemongrass and coconut would be pleasant. I’m slightly less of a fan of lemongrass so if the coconut were the highlight, that would be awesome. Unfortunately, the lemongrass really dominates. In fact, I can’t smell anything coconut at all. )= If you’re unfamiliar with lemongrass, it’s a sour smell that is similar to but not the same as an actual lemon. When you smell it, the name makes perfect sense. If you’re a fan of lemons/citrus, this may better suit you than me.

The massage oil comes in a push-top style bottle. It’s slightly yellow-ish in the bottle but appears clearer on the skin. It’s quite thin but pretty slick so it stays on the skin. It continues to make it easier to manipulate the skin and body but does feel a little greasy if you’re done massaging. Therefore, you’ll probably want to wash your hands after using the Relaxing Massage Oil.

This oil is made with certified organic extracts; of course, this is no surprise given the name of the company (Intimate Earth). The ingredients list includes sweet almond oil, sunflower oil, coconut oil, goji berry ectract, lemongrass extract and aloe extract among a few other ingredients including the ever misleading “parfum.”

I probably would have done better to try the Sensual Cocoa Bean and Goji Berry Massage Oil because I already know I like the scent but I did want to try something else. Unfortunately, I can’t relax very well in an environment that doesn’t please my nose, but if someone (like, say, a hot nerd) was offering me a massage with this oil, I certainly wouldn’t say “No.” I would base your shopping decisions upon the specific ingredients rather than the purpose (sensual, relaxing, etc) with Intimate Organics products.

Thanks so much to IO for providing me with this opportunity!

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Booty Parlor Seduction Kit

July 31st, 2011

Booty Parlor Seduction Kit

Booty Parlor Seduction Kit

This is an archived review of a discontinued toy.

Booty Parlor makes a whole line of sensual items that come in fairly cute packaging. It’s all very feminine and reminiscent of Pure Romance, if you ask me. You didn’t ask me but I’ll tell you anyway.

This kit consists of lip gloss, lube, massage oil and a scented candle. Each has a clever little moniker like the “light my fire” candle. If I had read closer, I might not have opted for it because I’m not a fan of mint and the lip gloss is mint. It’s the super sweet type of mint (and the gloss tastes sugary in itself) so I actually don’t mind it. Unfortunately, if you are a fan, you’ll be disappointed because the scent and taste don’t last more than a few minutes. Then, you’re left with a waxy residue that would be a whole lot sexier, in my opinion, if it were still scented.

On the other hand, I kind of wish the scent of the massage oil would fade because it honestly reminds me of something burning or.. burned. Like they overcooked something in the process. It also smells a little dusty. It’s not super strong but it’s just too weird and unpleasant for me to enjoy the massage oil. I.. don’t know how this got past quality control, honestly.

The “add magic” lube doesn’t have a smell. It’s my favorite part of the set. It’s a thinner gel that runs a bit but nothing too bad. It’s slick enough and I didn’t have to reapply. The bottle is pretty small but comes with a pump and a cap so it’s easy to use and mess-free. It’d probably be great in your purse or suitcase.

Praise is over now. The candle is generically floral scented in an overpowering way. Also, it’s not a massage candle. It simply exists for atmosphere. Not that I entirely mind that, but since I don’t enjoy the scent, it doesn’t do much for me. Sadly, this also means I haven’t burned it to its end to see how long it lasts.

This set comes in a box with a clear plastic color. Pinks, red, and white are the main colors, and it all feels a little Victoria’s Secret. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised to see it in a store.. but I wouldn’t buy it and now I’m not sure that I want to try any other Booty Parlor products, either. =/

Thanks to SheVibe for letting me try it, though.

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lingerie

Babeland Massage Oil

July 8th, 2011

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

Once upon a time, I received a Babeland Massage Cube for review. It happened to be summer and so it arrived a melted mess. A melted mess that smelled amazing. However, the only place where the scent was labeled was on a sticker that I promptly threw away or fed to the cats or something, so I was in agony, not knowing what scent I liked so well. But Babeland, they’re on the ball. Despite going through several program managers, they knew their shit and offered to send me a bottle of their Babeland Body Massage Oil in the same scent: lavender vanilla. Seriously, pretty awesome.

So the bottle arrived and I was all excited to smell it but couldn’t get any to come out. Turns out, Babeland uses a clear plastic seal that’s pretty hard to see. I know because I checked and couldn’t even see it. It wasn’t until I touched with my finger that I realized it was there. This is not life or death. It’s actually kind of amusing for sort of frustrating for all of five seconds.

After those five seconds, my nose was busy sniffing the massage oil to see if it smelled as I remembered it. It didn’t, not exactly. As I recall, the massage bar was a lot sweeter because the vanilla was stronger. It’s the opposite with the massage oil: the vanilla takes a backseat. Interestingly enough, there is a noticeable citrus-like scent. I’m not a big fan of citrus scents. The overall impression is sometimes medicinal. It could just be my nose but I have a pure lavender massage oil from System Jo that also smells like a medicinal citrus.

I’ve noticed that Babeland’s lavender vanilla massage oil smells different in the bottle, in the air and on my skin. This is frequently the case with scented products, and I wish they were a bit more consistent. The result is that I like the massage oil a bit less than I like the bar itself. I dug out the bar from the drawer it’s been hiding in for months? years? and, sadly, it barely has a scent at all. I kept it in its box, which is hardly airtight, so I’m not entirely surprised.

The oil, which lists just three ingredients: sweet almond oil, vitamin E and fragrance, has a slightly off-white shade. It comes out of the bottle in a super controlled amount, thanks to the push-top cap. It’s a bit runny; Kama Sutra’s Oil of Love is thicker if I recall correctly. It feels great rubbing into my skin as a moisturizer, which is what I wind up doing with all my pretty smelling things. It leaves my skin with a pretty sheen and enables my hand to glide easily over different body parts. I feel like I’m using a lot, but my bottle barely seems to be used, so I’m probably just over-estimating on my part.

You may feel like washing your hands after using Babeland’s Body Massage Oil. They’ll feel a little greasy, and opening tight jars may be difficult, but it feels lighter than the System Jo Massage Oil. It’s not quite as slippery which I expect means I’ll wind up using more of the Babeland Massage Oil for long or intense massages but I like that it doesn’t feel as residue-y after usage. It’s a toss-up, really, depending on your needs and preferences.

Babeland’s massage oil comes in a giant 5.25 fluid-ounce bottle, compared to the tiny bottles I have from other companies and even other Babeland products. I figure it will just about last forever. I could probably give away all my other massage products and keep this one. I won’t, though.

You can pick up your own bottle for $14, making it the most wallet-friendly massage oil option that Babeland carried at the time–and perhaps ever. It’s too bad it’s now discontinued.

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