Below you’ll find all of the sex toy reviews I’ve written at Of Sex and Love. Find my opinions on vibrators, dildos, media (sex education books, porn, DVDs and erotica), bondage and BDSM gear, lingerie, anal toys, lube, massage products, and more!
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I’ve also reviewed sexual health goodies.
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$24.95/month
from Dancing Bear
I may be a sex toy reviewer, and I may have enjoyed some porn in my time, but I’m definitely not familiar with all the Internet has to offer. After all, if it exists, porn can be made of it, or so they say. This appears to be the case with the folks behind Dancing Bear. The website offers CFNM Movies, which stands for “clothed female, naked male” and the naked male is actually some guy with a stuffed bear head who visits bachelorette parties and the like. It’s really not for me, personally. I prefer more penetration and naked everyone.
So the front page gives you a pretty good idea of what’s going on. Crazy college girls and women enjoying a night on the town get to watch the Dancing Bear shake and strip. It doesn’t lead to PIV sex, as far as I saw, but there’s a lot of oral–by them, to him–and sometimes anal. It’s not necessarily ‘softcore’, but I can see why it would be right up someone’s alley.
Content aside, the website is pretty typical. The main domain has a splash page, featuring images from videos. The bear is ripped, yo. You click past that to see some sample videos and images but, of course, the real deal is the membership. An ugly, giant blue link tells you how to get your password. The same link allows you to log-in; although, you have to click yet another link to finally sign in. It’s a bit annoying.
A 2-Day trial costs just $1, which I think is a pretty fair price. If you don’t like it, you’re only out a buck. The monthly membership is more affordable, at $24.95, while a year subscription is the most wallet friendly at just under $10 per month.
Once you sign up and log in, you’re brought to a hub powered by BangBros, the folks behind this Party CFNM website. The member’s areas shows what other people are watching and, by default, the newest Dancing Bear vids. You can re-organize it, of course, so if you’d prefer to see the most liked videos from the past month, that’s possible. It’s all pretty standard and easy to use.
If you just subscribe to dancing bears, you’ll see links to other genres or porn and stars, which may not be part of your membership. This could potentially become confusing; however, clicking these links will bring you to a page to purchase that additional content.
When you find the movie that you want to watch, you have multiple options. SD or HD videos are available, depending upon your monitor and Internet connection. You can also download a trailer, which is a feature that I like, or browse by chapters to find the exact content that will get you off. Dancing Bear allows you to easily navigate between full movies, trailers and chapters, which is handy.
You’re able to download videos in multiple file types to save for later, or view the MP4s in your browser, which I had no trouble doing. Some videos had only WMP files, which prompted Chrome to allow them to run. I’m not sure what exactly is up with the inconsistency. However, I experienced no lag for the light or medium videos on my cable connection.
The HD movies had no lag, but they didn’t load fast enough for me to skip through them, which is to be expected. The HD isn’t actually pixel-perfect HD, in my opinion. It’s good quality but could be better.
All of the videos have an amateur feel to them. Many seem to come from cameras that are mounted on a wall as to be out of the way, and the lighting isn’t always the best, but it’s far better than some porn I’ve seen. There’s no plot, and a lot of yelling from the watchers, so you may not love this type of porn if you prefer sensuous music or to hear the performers moan. On the other hand, it’ll sort of sound like you’re watching a sports match and not some porn. If you do find one that you especially like, you can add it to your favorites with ease.
Of course, the women aren’t performers, but the Dancing Bear men are. You can sometimes tell, as the man moves the women out of the way for the better camera angle. There’s definitely an air of “I’m just getting paid for this”, sometimes. Everyone has fun, and there’s a lot of laughter, but it’s not as genuine as some people might like. For example, I didn’t see a single clit get rubbed. So sad.
I think the following image depicts this critique pretty well:
I did have some trouble viewing the screencaps and videos in Firefox and Internet Explorer. Some scripts didn’t work and IE didn’t want to play the MP4 videos, but that might simply be an issue with plug-ins on my end. Everything was smooth in Chrome. However, I noticed a significant number of broken images and videos when I tried to look at movies in chapter view, which was my favorite. This definitely disappoints. Depending upon how your browser handles broken images, this might simply seem like the page isn’t fully loaded.
Ultimately, Dancing Bear might be your cup of tea, and the website is easy enough to use. It has all the features of comparable sites. However, the inconsistent file types and broken videos and images really drag it down and make it seem unprofessional.
PicoBong Lelo
$59
from PicoBong
I could probably tell you to save some time by reading this review and send you over to Lilly’s, because we came to most of the same conclusions. This was my first Picobong toy, and I’ve declined to review them in the past because they seemed too weak for me. I generally prefer toys that have more power than AAA batteries have to offer, but I was also intrigued by the shape of the Moka. It’s similar to the Ella or Gigi, other toys by Lelo that people have really liked in the past. Since I hadn’t had a chance to try the shape, I figured the Moka would be a chance to do so.
In fact, this toy is retailing from $42 to $60, so it’s much cheaper than the Gigi. Although, the Ella still costs a pretty penny less, if you don’t need vibration. The Moka consist of a curving shaft and an intensely angled head that is larger than the shaft. The head is pretty “long”, I guess you’d call it, from the side. This toy definitely hooks onto your pubic bone. So, while it’s not very wide at any point. The widest point of the shaft is 1.5″, and I’d guess that’s the head itself. The curving shaft tapers to a narrow 1″ just below the head; although, the base is slightly thicker. All in all, it’s not amazingly large.
But my G-spot hated it. The shape is just not.for.me. I can almost guarantee it’s because of my protruding pubic bone, but I think I’d personally be better off with any straight vibe. I know that other people will like the shape, but I can’t. Ever. With that said, Lilly liked it because it was larger than the Gigi, so you might agree with her.
The vibrator is coated with a velvety silicone. It’s more smooth and rigid on the shaft, but there’s a tad bit more give on the head. It’s nice to hold. I got mine in the bright blue, and it’s super fun. Very Spring-like. As I mentioned, 2AAAs insert into the base. The cap has ridges, I assume to help you grip it. It’s not the type that unscrews, through. It simply does a slight turn to lock into place. I really hate this type of battery cover. It’s finicky to get into place and they don’t always click or make a sound to let you know. I’d rather screw the cap on a couple times. Aside from that, battery insertion was fine.
To control the Moka, you press the buttons on the bottom of the shaft. Now, technically, they’re where you might insert the vibe. Folks going for G-spot stimulation might not insert it more than a few inches, but the entire 6″ or so of the shaft is not technically insertable because of this, not if you want to change settings, anyway. Three buttons exist. One to increase strength, one to decrease and another to switch modes. The buttons are raised from the shaft, so they’re easy to find. They also make an audible clicking sound.
Moka’s vibrations are buzzy and make my hand tickle, but they’re stronger than I expected. There are eight levels of standard vibration and many pulsation and escalating modes. I couldn’t count them all. There were too many that were too similar, and it seems like I needed to sometimes push the mode button two or three times to get it to change, which is frustrating. My finger needs to push from exactly the right angle; otherwise, it stays on the same setting. That’s pretty frustrating, but it’s nothing like my Mimi.
On a few of the special modes, the motor did that horrible ‘digital whine’ that used to occur with all Lelo toys. This is incredibly disappointing. It’s a bit loud, in terms of buzzing, to begin with, but that sound is like nails on a chalkboard to me. If someone asks what sound makes me want to gouge my eyes out, I’d reply with “Lelo’s whiny motors.” It doesn’t bug everyone, but it might make your dog go insane.
Before I wrap this up, I must explain the confusion that is the keychain/cellphone decoration. There’s a loop on the end of the Moka, and the toy comes with a little PicoBong logo attached to a nylon cord that is looked through it. It’s like a cellphone decoration, if you had a cell phone when you were 13 (please don’t do this as an adult. It makes you look like a joke!), but it reminded me of a keychain. It felt like I should use it to hang my PicoBong from my keys or wallet or belt loop and carry it around on my person. It obviously has to go, because it would be annoying, at least, during use. I’ll probably throw it away.
So, Moka. It’s not for me, but I can see why someone else might like it, and it’s probably a better bargain than Gigi.
This is an archived review. Joyful Pleasures no longer exists, and I have since found out they are not a reputable company.
If you’re looking to buy similar glass toys, check out Lilly’s post on glass safety first!
Remember when I wrote that glowing review for the 24K Double Pleasure dildo? Well, I do! It was a fun review, and the manufacturer liked it to, so a second Joyful Pleasures dildo was soon in my paws. I chose this because the design seemed unique. It features five bulbs, but they appear almost angular in photos. It was something different. In person, the texture isn’t quite was I expected, but it’s still neat. Each bulb has a ridge around it, but it’s not straight. It dips down in the back and comes back up to a point in the front. To better depict this, here’s Disney’s Bella in her golden ball down. It’s like the details on the skirt of the dress:
It’s hard to photograph. I tried myself, but glass is always a little tricky, in my opinion. Anyway, the bulbs gently curve, making this a good G-spot toy. The shaft ends with a flat base. This dildo will sit up straight on your table; although, there’s no suction cup, so it won’t stay that way. The base make it safe for anal play and also offers a handhold for vaginal insertion. The shaft isn’t centered on the base, though. In use, I found this didn’t impede holding it; although, it’ll feel slightly off center.
Aside from the slight ridges, all the glass is smooth, so you may not need a lot of lube. I didn’t use very much myself. The shape of the bulbs and ridges isn’t that large. The diameter is 1.5″ at the widest. Of course, the shaft tapers beneath the bulbs, and you can definitely feel them. This makes the Pure-Joy Pleasure a good option if you want an anal probe type toy. You can take as many bulbs as you want, or just stick to the first one as you work your way up to it. You’ll get about 6.5″ of total insertion length, if you decide to go all the way with this one.
I tried this dildo only vaginally, and I didn’t love it quite as much as my other Joyful Pleasures, too. It was easy to feel each bulb and the ridges. The rigidity allowed for pretty intense G-spot stimulation, but it just wasn’t what I love. I think I prefer one defined head and a straight or gently curving shaft to all the activity of the Pure-Joy Pleasure.
Really, it’s pretty enough that I could use it as a paperweight, although I wouldn’t… Maybe you would.
One thing I love about this is that it’s super easy to clean. The slickness of glass is my friend. However, it does become slippery when cleaning or coated with lube, so you’ll want to keep a steady grip on this. The base absolutely does help. I would love to see Joyful Pleasure offering some sort of storage option. Even a thin bag would be nice. I tossed out the box, because it’s a little bulky, and I just don’t have space for it. If you’re really worried about your toy, then you might keep the box. I don’t like to do that. I feel like it’s mostly a waste of space.
So, would I recommend the Pure-Joy Pleasure? Not after I learned that the company was simply shipping mass-produced, low-quality glass to consumers like myself.
You’ve probably tried Wet Naturals. I say this with confidence because sex toy retailers like PinkCherry frequently send sample packets with your order. In fact, I have a few random flavored straggles in my nightstand. In fact, it was a packet of the silicone-based version that ruined my Spur. Third world problems.
I’m not overly fond of the packets. They’re not super easy to use and I can never get the right amount of product, so I was glad to try a full-sized bottle when the opportunity to work with Wet arose.
Let me preface this by saying I enjoyed the Beautifully Bare lube when I first used it. It was an interesting experience. My toys felt lubricated but I couldn’t necessarily feel the lubrication. It was the most natural feeling lube I’d used. However, I just didn’t love it as much the second time around. I think it’s because it’s a thinner lube and it winds up running down my toys and hands, making a mess. I’ve definitely come to like slightly thicker lubes better for play with toys. When you consider that all my play involves toys these days, you can see how this would affect how I feel about this lube.
Although thin, it feels pretty slick at first. Unfortunately, it dries up right quick with a little friction. I don’t need a necessarily super long-lasting lube, but this will be a break it factor for some consumers. There are longer lasting water-based lubes and, of course, silicone-based lubes will last much longer. The company does make a silicone-based variant in the Wet Naturals line, which has just five ingredients.
On the other hand, if you like a light lube, this one might do the trick. It’s compatible with all types of play and toy materials. It has no odors or colors and the push-top bottle is easy to use, with a little indentation on the side that makes it easier to hold. The embossed “Wet” logo adds to that, even if your hand is fully of the runny lube.
The ingredients list doesn’t include any sugars or parabens, but Wet Naturals does have a lot of natural extracts, including grape seed extract and aloe vera. Wet Naturals is also slightly cheaper from most retailers than other organic or sensitive lubes, so this might be a good alternative if you’re into that.
Compared to some of the other natural or organic lubes I’ve used, I like this a bit better. This is mostly because it’s truly tasteless and odorless and has no funky color. It’ll more than do in a pinch, but it’s not my favorite lube either.
Tantus Acute
$42.49
from Of Sex and Love Store
Sometimes, there are things that you just don’t get from a product page. In the case of the Acute, a silicone dildo by Tantus, it’s all about size and texture. I always thought that this dildo was a lot bigger than it is. I tend to pay more attention to pictures than measurements, so I was pleasantly surprised after removing it from its package.
This little G-spot dildo is, well, little. With a total of 6″, five of which are insertable, it isn’t intimidating in the least. Plus, it only has a diameter of 1.25″ at its largest. This makes it great for people like me, with picky cervixes. I don’t want to say this is necessarily good for beginners, but it might be the better option for an intro to anal play — if the length is long enough for that.
What also makes this piece appealing to me is its flexibility. It’s not the Super Soft because it uses a regular silicone treatment. It is, however, much softer than the Goliath. The silicone reminds me a lot of the Delta, but it’s thicker, so you have more control. For example, I can bend the base back during insertion to make it press toward my G-spot/front vaginal wall, but it’s still plenty firm enough that I can thrust effectively.
This one works as a G-spotter for me, but it might not for you if you required more girth, length or pressure. The head, although bulging slightly, it’s realistically contoured, nor does it offer a pronounced ridge or lip. Similarly, the curve is quite relaxed, unlike some G-spot toys. It’s also harness-compatible for vaginal or anal sex but, as I mentioned, it might be a little short for penetration from behind.
I got mine in the pearly white, which I love. There are more colors, but white doesn’t have gender connotations. It doesn’t quite seem the same shade all the way through. It’s almost marbled, but the purple seems to be even more so.
I notice that the base acts like a suction cup, especially when it’s wet. That adds a bit more function, but I prefer for G-spot stimulation while I’m lying down. This way, I can easily stroke and the Acute, although slimmer than some, was an effective G-spot toy. There isn’t the hole for a tiny vibrator, like Tantus offes in some of their dildos.
Overall, this is a good toy. It doesn’t necessarily provide anything more than any other toy I have, nor do it in a ground-breaking way, but my cervix does appreciate the combination of softness and shortness. I’m not sure if I would prefer this over my Faerie, however, but I don’t think Tantus is making that one anymore.
Thanks to SexShop.Net for this toy to review.
Kissable Lace Babydoll & G-string
This review has been a long time coming and.. well, er.. I don’t know why. I think it’s because I just really didn’t like it in person and, in hindsight, I’m not sure why I thought I would like it. I guess I thought the Kissable Lace Babydoll & G-string looked kind of elegant in the product image but, in person, that lace just looks cheap and tacky. It’s all “I’m a Halloween store up in here? Would you like some black lipstick with that, Adriana?” And I’m all “Shut up about my teenaged years, you’re a hunk of fabric.”
Not much fabric, really ,which is my second problem. This is one size but, like my recent Coquette experiments is too small around my 38″ ribcage. In fact, this one seems smaller than the other chemise. I’d recommend it for 36″ at the most. I’m thinking that someone in the 32-34″ range would be better. Because the waistband is just a thin piece of elastic, it cuts into the skin as you get closer to the top of that range and, “fits up to 48-inches”? Coquette, you’re a fucking liar. There is NO way in hell this is going to fit beyond 40″. This is truly a one-size-fits-few piece.
So, I do like the cups. I love the black lace over the red triangle pieces and they’re less discount-Goth feeling. The lace extends on the side in a way that I could do without but don’t hate. There’s a cute little red bow in the center. It’s definitely feminine. They’re also pretty small, at least, they seemed smaller on me than the model. With just the thin elastic, you can’t much count on any support. Again, Coquette has made the mistake of using in inflexible ribbon for the straps, which I don’t feel is really going to stay put when you move the adjusters. In fact, I like elastic straps; I feel like they support me better.
The lace from the waist down is free flowing, so ideally it would suit different body shapes if, you know, the top wasn’t so damned tight. It’s not very long at all, though. It really barely meets the hips, as you can see on the model. It’s this giant floral and mesh motif that is just not pretty.
The G-string isn’t the cheapest thing ever. It features the same lace overlay on the front panel, with a centered red bow. The G-string runs just as small as the babydoll, however, and is mostly elastic. I didn’t spend enough time with either piece to have to launder it, but I don’t think you’ll want to put it in the machine unless you at least use a lingerie bag. Hand washing would probably be preferable. The set is 100% nylon, which the Internet says can be washed in warm water and tumbled dry on low. I threw out the box because.. it’s lingerie and it doesn’t need to come in a fucking box that is made of more material than the product in it!
So is this kissable? If it’s some sort of kissing my ass on the way out the door, then yes. If you’re the 1% you might like it but, if you have any reservations, please get something less shitty than this.
There are those who say that a good bullet is something that everyone should have in their collection. I’m kind of a picky beast, but this one goes out to them. The new Tantric line of toys by California Exotics caught my eye. The pink and black is my kind of girly and there’s this element of filigree or something similar that’s really up my alley.
With this little bullet, which is larger than the ones by Tantus but more cylindrical than an egg, this design feature is on the handle. It looks like a solid layer of pink with black plastic wrapped around it. You can see through to the pink plastic through the open areas in the design, which are cut out. Now, if this was on the toy itself, I’d be a little wary to use it because of cleaning, but it’s not. Worked into the handle is a soft heart-shaped button. It’s actually kind of discreet but you don’t need instructions to read it. This only adds to its feminine appeal.
The bullet itself is removable from the battery pack with that little jack. I’m not one to switch power sources and I do like the color theme, so this isn’t useful for me. It might be for you. This, paired with the battery cap, makes for a toy that’s not waterproof in the least. The cap screws off from the end of the pack but it’s the style that slides into place and only turns a little bit — like the Layaspot and a few other toys. I prefer a cap that fully screws on.
To its credit, the 2AAAs that power this pack a surprising punch; although, the vibrations are on the buzzy side. The pulsations were pretty impressive and there were multiple strengths of the same pulsation, which I liked. I’m not usually one for patterns but it worked with this bullet. Not all the patterns were as impressive to me.
The steady vibration left a little to be desired, though. It starts on the highest setting and goes down from there. Very few vibrations do that. I don’t want that. Consumers don’t want that. Although the highest setting is okay for a bullet, power queens are going to tired of it and want more, only to go “WTF?!”
After playing with this one for a while, my vulva felt all sorts of buzzy afterward. Although I did get off, it was mostly from a lot of boring into my pubic bone and less because of the bullet itself.
The bullet has a weird circumference seam around a quarter from one end. I can’t feel it in use, but it’s odd. While I do like the velvet cote in my hand, I also can’t feel it in use. The plastic does make clean-up a breeze but, like I said, be careful with the water.
Tantric 10-Function Chakra Massager doesn’t come with any accessories, but that’s not the end of the world. Just toss it in your nightstand or bag, and you needn’t even worry about lint.
