Below you’ll find all of the sex toy reviews I’ve written at Of Sex and Love. Find my opinions on vibrators, dildos, media (sex education books, porn, DVDs and erotica), bondage and BDSM gear, lingerie, anal toys, lube, massage products, and more!
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The Sexually Dominant Woman
11.47
from Amazon
The Sexually Dominant Woman is a very basic guide to femdom by Lady Green, a pen name for Janet Hardy, who has written and co-written several other BDSM books, including The (New) Topping Book and The New Bottoming Book. Immediately, I was much more comfortable with Lady Green’s tone and approach; although, I found The Sexually Dominant Woman to be just a bit too basic.
Lady Green uses a very friendly and approachable tone unlike the one used in The Mistress Manual. She does not appear to be preaching at you in role, which I appreciate. However, one of the downfalls of this tone is that Lady Green sometimes comes off as less professional than she could, which can make the reader question whether or not we should be taking her advice. The large, un-standard font face used in the book also lends to this feel. I would prefer something that looks just a bit more “proper.” But this would mean The Sexually Dominant Woman would be much smaller in appearance. Indeed, much of the information has been covered online in various communities and on many websites. It’s good to have all the information in one place but I think the Sexually Dominant Woman would almost be better as a PDF “book” than a printed book.
The Sexually Dominant Woman is subtitled as “A Workbook for Nervous Beginners” and much of it has a workbook feel. It could potentially be useful were it kept on hand during scenes (although, that could also detract from the scene itself). This guide is light enough reading that it could be used as suggested reading for partners, too, without overwhelming them.
This guide begins with a checklist to gauge a person’s interest in female domination, and there are frequent black-and-white sketches included. Some of these illustrate tools or positions while others are just complementary to the text. They are all amateur in composition and none of them are really appealing. This book would come off much classier with higher quality art.
What follows is a chapter defining sexual dominant in which Lady Green splits BDSM into several aspects including helplessness (bondage), roles and sensation. The next dedicates a chapter to each where she outlines tools, positions, tips and more. “Winding Down” discusses knowing when the session is/should be finished and she dedicates a few pages toward the feelings which may come after a scene and what they can mean. Throughout the entire book, it feels as though the author is only suggesting things and there is a feeling that the reader can and should tailor the advice to be a better fit for her specific situation. Although The Sexually Dominant Female is intended for female dominants and male subs, there is a note in the beginning that recognizes that many women play with women and that most of the content can be altered for the purpose. I would have to agree that this book is more neutral toward the submissive’s gender because it does not play on the yin and yang of gendered Dominance and submission like the Mistress Manual. It also makes it that much more pleasant to read.
The chapters are all short, no more than a few pages each. As you can guess, The Sexually Dominant Woman does not go into extreme depth about any one topic but gives a brief and consistent introduction to each subject tackled within its pages. It is not a book I would solely rely on, and I would encourage people to read other material, such as The Sexually Dominant Woman. My suggestion? SM 101 is great, but I will definitely pick up The New Topping Book after this. I especially suggest SM101 because it tackles many issues regarding safety and BDSM, an area which is a bit lacking in The Sexually Dominant Woman, and novice players may not realize what is lacking. Although the chapter on Physical and Emotional Safety is one of the longest in the book, it’s still only a handful of pages long.
Where The Sexually Dominant Woman really stands out, in my opinion, is with the suggested “basic first session.” I have read several suggestions in several other books, but none of them have ever been appealing. Lady Green suggests a scene that has a dedicated beginning and end (and helps players get into and out of scene mode), which flows naturally and incorporates a variety of activities and tools (bondage, collars, clamps, blindfolds, flogging, etc) and has alternatives provided depending upon whether the reader wants to incorporate sex into the scene. Overall, this suggested scene is pretty much perfect for any BDSM newbie, with enough structure to keep it moving but not so restrictive that it feels silly. It is definitely a chapter I would recommend or reference in the future.
The Sexually Dominant Woman wraps up with “Some notes For Your Submissive” which can help a submissive understand how taxing a role can be a dominant, especially a new dominant. This is followed by “Tips For Partner” finding which discusses perception and expectations that can aid in the search as well as a few suggestions of places to search. The advice is the sort of common knowledge that people can sometimes forget when setting off on a new adventure.
The appendix is the last chapter and Lady Green takes time to suggest further reading material, discuss kink-aware professionals and warn about the internet. It’s a bit of a catch-all which basically indicates that The Sexually Dominant Woman is not intended to be a stand-alone source. As I finished the book, that is the same conclusion I reached. The Sexually Dominant Woman is not groundbreaking and, to be honest, is probably old news to anyone who’s been on the internet a time or two. However, the approachable tone is refreshing for someone like myself, who has had issues with other BDSM books. If you happen by it, I would pick it up. Although, it seems like it may be going out of print so I’d probably look for The New Topping Book instead.
The Mistress Manual
$29.29
from Store.OfSexAndLove.com
The Mistress Manual, “the good girl’s guide to female dominance,” is a pretty iconic book when it comes to BDSM guides but it is not a general dominance/topping book and it will be most useful to a specific sort of demographic. If you’re curious if you fall into that demographic, ask yourself these questions:
If your answer to any of these questions is “No,” I would direct you in another direction. Perhaps the New Topping Book, although I have not read it myself. If all your answers are “No,” I would not encourage you to open The Mistress Manual with a 10-foot pole because, while the advice given by Mistress Lorelei will probably work quite well for those whose styles of domination mesh with her views, the scope is limited enough that it will be extremely frustrating if not entirely futile for anyone else. Here’s why.
The keyword is female.
Mistress Lorelei, whom the reader learns is a professional writer from a blurb at the end of the book but whose expertise on the subject is never fully established, seems to see female dominance and male submission as a complimentary pair, sort of yin and yang-y. And I can dig that. In many ways, it makes sense, and, thus, it’s pretty much the running theme of this guide.
In some ways, however, it doesn’t make quite so much sense. Although there is advice in The Mistress Manual that can be used by any creative person or couple, the unique dynamics of a lesbian power exchange relationship may not benefit quite as well from Lorelei’s words. Perhaps she focused on the idea of “female dominance” a bit too much. I don’t need to roar because I’m a woman, and while being female can certainly add unique aspects to power, power itself is not hinged on my gender.
In fact, there are several reviews on Amazon that voice my critiques much more eloquently than I ever could:
Most of this book is tainted with this woman’s petty revenge fantasies. She can’t seem to seperate [sic] the idea of a well balanced BDSM relationship, founded on ideas such as trust and respect, from her indignacy [sic] at her perceived “second class citizen” status because she is a woman.
The Mistress Manual could have done much more to help craft or find a submissive.
While Chapter 3 talks about finding or creating a submissive, it was sorely lacking. The information to determine if one’s partner is open to female dominance is based on many assumptions. For example, Lorelei suggests that positive reactions to nipple pinching, being told to perform oral sex or to woman-on-top sex are indicative of domination fantasies and they can be, in the right situation. On the other hand, those things are all pretty vanilla these days, and I wouldn’t think someone is into BDSM simply for liking those things.
If your partner does happen to have fantasies of female domination that take little to encourage, you probably won’t find this as problematic as I did. Furthermore, if you live in an area where it’s easy to find an already submissive partner, you’re set. Just don’t rely on The Mistress Manual to be much help if either of those speed bumps apply to you.
“Domestic Discipline”
Mistress Lorelei describes her brand of dominance as “Domestic Discipline.” While I’m no expert, she defines this term (and others) uniquely. I have only ever seen Domestic Discipline defined as a relationship between husband and wife where the husband is dominant. Female dominance does not fit that definition at all. Somehow, Lorelei has found a group of people who have altered the traditional definition, and this can be misleading. It’s like she decided to say, for her book, that “empty means full.”
Semantics aside, my domination tastes center around general BDSM, not domesticity or discipline exclusively. In the beginning of the book, Lorelei is quick to state the differences between her idea of domestic discipline and the BDSM/leather scene, which did put me off for the rest of the book. However, if the idea of domestic roles or discipline-dependent S&M is this thing, you will probably enjoy this book much more than I did.
She’s a stickler for archetypes.
Admittedly, I do not put much stock into the “archetypal” female dominance roles, which she lists as nursemaid, governess, goddess, queen, and amazon. Relying on established fantasies can certainly help the creative juices flow for planning a scene and help to develop a style of dominance if someone is not sure how to proceed. Still, I find my tastes to be a bit more eclectic than these roles sometimes allow for. All these fantasies closely tie femininity into dominance as well, which makes them either a great fit or.. a sore fit. I do find the references to these roles throughout the book to be distracting.
If you still find yourself interested, he is a brief rundown of the Mistress Manual:
Separated into three parts – Becoming a Mistress, the Mistress in Action, and The Five Archetypal Fantasies – this book is well suited for absolute beginners or perhaps women who have struggled to get their BDSM fantasies off the ground, but it does not offer the mental or emotional assistance that some people require. Furthermore, the chapters waver in-depth, with Lorelei including much information about spanking implements but never quite explaining how to bring out submission in a reluctant partner.
The chapters in the first section explain the appeal of female domination, how to get over hang-ups about the idea, finding or creating a submissive male, and balancing fantasy and reality. The chapters in the next section discuss establishing authority, planning a first scene, the art of discipline and “bondage, humiliation and other forms of control.” The Mistress Manual wraps up with a chapter each on what Lorelei calls the 5 Archetypal Fantasies of female domination – Nursemaid, Governess, Queen, Amazon and Goddess – with an introductory chapter about fulfilling fantasies of both the dominant and her male submissive.
There are some strengths to this book. An entire chapter is dedicated to “The Reluctant Mistress” to aid newbies who are uncomfortable with the idea of female domination. It outlines reasons that women shy away from domination, such as guilt, repression, or unwillingness. Additionally, Mistress Lorelei helpfully describes how language, props, costumes, and acting can all aid in this endeavor. I hadn’t given enough thought to some of these things, and I could see why they could be detrimental to my play. Plus, Mistress Lorelei knows her impact play props and even talks about sting versus thud, as well as offering concrete information about methods of spanking. Furthermore, there is a list of ways to aid in “Combining Power and Pleasure” with tips on how language, position and other things can affect the perception of power. Lastly, the author does advise discussing thoroughly what all parties want out of domination (and the archetypes might help in determining and discussing this).
Yet I would be aware that The Mistress Manual is dated, like S&M101. The author suggests finding potential partners in the meeting places of yesteryear (ads and clubs). I did not find the suggested first scene appealing. Rather, it was bland and didn’t flow in a way that I found to be natural or satisfying. This may only be personal preference, however.
Ultimately, The Mistress Manual is not the book for me, and the points that I found helpful are few enough that I may remember them without ever needing to open it again. I would certainly steer someone toward other books (like SM101 or The New Topping Book) over The Mistress Manual. The pretentious and overly wordy style Lorelei used also detracted from my enjoyment. By the end, I was skimming the book, if only because I could no longer force myself to read it word for word. In short, The Mistress Manual is a good book if you are like Mistress Lorelei but not as good if you are like me.
This is an archived review of a discontinued toy.
Let me preface this by saying I’d like this rabbit-style vibrator much better if it were called Pauley Perrette because that’s what I always think instead of “Paul and Paulina.” And I love Pauley.
All that aside, Paul and Paulina is an adorable vibrator. I’ve seen it in a beautiful blue, a bright green and the colour I received: baby pink. Both the insertable portion and the clitoral stimulator are shaped like worms or caterpillars that are coming out of an apple, and the soft silicone that coats the toy has ridges to add to the effect (and add texture, too). There are some artistic ‘dimples’ in the apple that may prove to be effective finger holds, but they did not aid me in using them. The worms appear to be smiling and have two embossed dots for eyes. If animal toys are not your thing, then this vibrator will not be for you. The silicone around the shaft is a little loose, so there is give when squeezed, but there is less give around the clitoral stimulator.
Because of the ridges on the shaft, I would recommend using lube (water-based only). The soft silicone has a slightly velvety texture that increases drag. While I found I could feel those ripples, they were not entirely stimulating. Someone with a more sensitive vagina might find otherwise, however.
Like most soft silicone, Paul and Paulina picks up lint, fur etc. Storing it in a ziploc/toy bag or wrapped in a scarf may help. And using a microfiber towel to dry it after cleaning isn’t a bad idea, either. Because of the design of the battery compartment, I would definitely not take this in the bath or shower. A soap and water washing should be safe as long as you keep the battery end out of the direct flow of water. Sprays and wipes may not help to rid this vibrator of the lint that it collects.
From end to end, it measures just under 10″, 5.5″ of which are insertable. It’s bulky, the way many rabbits tend to be and that can sometimes hinder maneuverability, especially if you have short arms like I do. The clitoral stimulator is thinner than many and seems a bit shorter. It’s situated quite close to the shaft and while the angle can be increased if your anatomy requires it to be further away, this may cause it to fall short. It was a bit short on myself and didn’t feel like I could “force” it to sit in the positions I like, the way I can with other rabbits.
The controls are unique but easy to use. There is a master power button and on small, red indicator light when the toy is on. The light confused me at first because it fades very slowly after turning off the vibrator. It looks like the toy is not turned off, but 3-5 seconds to fade before pressing the button a million more times and wondering what’s going on. Both functions have a separate dial, which is similar to the volume wheel on my personal CD player (or even on a laptop). It’s easy to use – slide up to increase speed or power, and when it stops, it’s on a high. Sliding it the other way decreases speed/power until it stops and the function is turned off. These wheels are incredibly easy to use and have The functions can be used separately, of course.
The rotating shaft and vibration are pretty run-of-the-mill, although I’d like to add there do appear to be ball-bearing-type beads toward the bottom half of the shaft. I can feel them but cannot see them because of the opaque silicone. Paul and Paulina is powered by 4 AA batteries, which usually is a good indication of power, but I found that just wasn’t the case here. For starters, the bullet inside the clitoral stimulator is pretty small and emits a high-pitched vibration, and no matter what position the wheel is in, it seems like there is only one setting. In my opinion, it’s totally useless to have any sort of setting control. The shaft rotation is also on the lackluster side.
The shaft rotates in fairly small circles and doesn’t seem to be bendable to increase that circumference of rotation. In use, I couldn’t feel the difference between the beads and rotation. I did squirt, but it wasn’t as impressive as when I’ve been able to ejaculate with toys that have more powerful rotation. The control wheel for the shaft increases the rotation speed. Unfortunately, when both functions are on, the clitoral stimulator seems to lose a little power, and I wouldn’t expect this to stand up to super-strong muscles, either.
For 4 AAs, I expect a lot more. Layaspot runs on AAAs, but this isn’t that much more powerful. Hell, for Fun Factory, I am incredibly disappointed. They are my favorite company and have created several dildos and vibrators which have left me satisfied, but Paul and Paulina just do not measure up at all. I suspect it will be enough for many people, and it has received positive reviews. It’s not a piece of just exactly; I just cannot help but notice how it falls apart when it comes to the details. But I do know that Fun Factory has some more contemporary rabbits coming out, and I wonder if they will be an improvement over this.
Tuyo
N/A
from
This is an archived review of a discontinued toy.
I am a girl who loves pressure. Masturbation sessions that end with cramped fingers that can barely move are no strange in this house, sadly, and toys that are broad enough to press against my body with ease are rare. Small egg-style vibes don’t have a lot of room for my fingers (so they still cramp), traditional vibes aren’t broad, and it can be difficult to get quite the pressure I need from rabbits without detracting from internal stimulation. All of these reasons attracted me to Tuyo, a spherical massager that would certainly be broad enough and easy to hold (and press) for me. Mediocre reviews left me doubtful, but I finally took the plunge and purchased one for myself right before Christmas.
Tuyo is packaged in a sleek black box that is lined with pretty, purple satin material. It looks elegant sitting in the cushy material when the lid is open.
This vibrator measures 5″ x 5″ x 3.5″ and is made of hard plastic with a silicone band wrapping around the center, both in black. The band has some give and slight texture which can help in grasping Tuyo. There are thin silver borders on either side of the silicone band and also around the button on top that could be metal or plastic.
For the most part, these details do not create any crevices except around the button (which isn’t directly pressed to the body anyway). The button sits directly on top, whereas I press the bottom 1/3 against myself. The only mark on the bottom 1/3 is a printed logo that is not discernible by touch.
At first, I struggled with the battery compartment. The top portion of the Tuyo unscrews slightly to allow you to insert 3 AAA batteries. However, there aren’t any finger indentations that would make it easier to take off. When it comes to replacing it, there are also no indicators to line up the pieces, which would be helpful. The batteries sit pretty tightly in the compartment, but there is a ribbon that sits beneath them to assist in removal. Be careful of projectile batteries.
The round shape makes it incredibly easy to clean and, although it’s not waterproof, I washed it with soap and water without issue. There is no O-ring around the battery compartment but the unique cap seals well. The plastic could easily be sprayed with toy cleaner, and a wipe would work as well. The silicone band does pick up a bit of lint.
It only took me about 30 seconds to realize that Tuyo is exactly what I require in terms of shape and size. It’s definitely bigger around than any toys I have with its 3″ diameter; my fingers are not long enough to wrap all the way around. However, this works really well to stimulate the entire vulva, and I have plenty of room to grasp it without squishing my fingers. It’s incredibly easy to press against myself without causing pain that other shapes can cause and, if it switches position, I needn’t worry. It’s still round on every side. I quickly found myself moving my hips against the Tuyo and orgasming.
It’s also incredibly easy to use. The button is about the size of my fingertip and makes an audible click when I turn it out. There does seem to be some slight lag after initially turning it on, however. There are 3 levels of steady vibration that are pretty diffuse, although they are centered toward the bottom of the toy. These are followed by a slow pulsation, a faster pulsation, a pulsation like a fast heartbeat, a fast-fast-fast-fast-slow pulsation and a throbbing pulsation. The settings are all really neat, but I wouldn’t mind two buttons for back-and-forth options or even just a master power button because that’s eight settings to cycle through, and I find myself using the medium steady vibration most. The vibration is not super buzzy (it doesn’t tickle my hand), except on the highest level of steady vibration. It isn’t super deep either, but because of the awesome shape, I have to rely less on vibration to get off.
But my joy was overshadowed by something I could not ignore: the noise. Tuyo is easily the loudest toy I own. It beats for the Miracle Massager and Ideal, hands down. It sounds like a fucking chainsaw. There is no way in hell I can use it if someone else were in my apartment and people outside my bedroom window or wall could probably still hear it even after I pulled the covers over myself to block some of the noise. And all on 3 AAA batteries. This is simply unacceptable.
Especially because this would become my go to vibrator (in place of Laya Spot) if only the noise were not an issue. I love the shape, the vibrations feel great (and I am usually not a fan of AAA), it’s easy to use and hold, has a solid feel and a comforting weight. It’s also versatile and could be used for body massage. It could be rolled or easily pushed across the skin if that’s your thing. Even outside of its box, it doesn’t scream “vibrator” but.. and this is a big but, it’s so loud it’s just not practical to use.
The only thing I have left to say is this:
Big Teaze Toys, please make a Tuyo 2.0 that is quieter!
Black Glove/Elegant Spanking
N/A
from
This is an archived review of a discontinued product.
I read a review describing Black Glove/Elegant Spanking, a DVD containing two short films by Maria Beatty, as “like an artsy amateur porn video that the 2 girls should have kept private.” And I pretty much agree.
It’s not that the visuals aren’t stunning. Both pieces are done in black and white, with more than a subtle nod toward the silent film era (despite being released in 1995). The Elegant Spanking even features “title cards” showing the dialogue between Mistress and slave. The filming is well done, if not simple, and it seems a bit grainy to add personality. The Black Glove is especially heavy with shiny instruments and PVC clothing, while garter belts can be seen in both. The image of pearls sliding between pussy lips in The Elegant Spanking is intriguing if nothing else. Yet, the imagery is very specific, so specific that there can be very little middle ground with Black Glove/Elegant Spanking. Either you will love it, or it will not be your thing. And it’s not mine.
I also can’t say that the acts aren’t realistic or intimate. Marie Beatty portrays a submissive in both films, expressing pain and pleasure well even though we can’t hear her voice or breath. In The Elegant Spanking, she lovingly partakes in watersports. It’s as though someone simply popped a camera into Beatty’s BDSM life and recorded these events. Believable and erotic (it’s hard to call anything with so much BDSM anything else), yes. But rising to any sort of climax (literally or figuratively) or otherwise following any sort of standard film time/plotline, no. We don’t know why anything is happening, just that it is, and it’s over without any real sense of resolution. Both movies are more like extended scenes than stand-alone films, and they move quite slowly. I’ll dare call it boring.
From imagery to music/sound and the speed of progress, these films are both incredibly creative. Yet, that artistry can be difficult to understand and detract from the movie.
Such is the case with the music (by John Zorn), which generally reminds me of haunted house background music or the scores of 80s horror flicks. It suggests seriousness calmly, softly in the background. Yet it also negates any drama in the films themselves, especially in scenes where the actors are clearly speaking, but viewers can’t hear it. Like silent films, this one flashes title cards, but it’s obvious that is not what she said (and I’m no lip reader!). At least in The Black Glove, we can hear some sounds from the scene itself, which I prefer greatly. The sound of buckles and foot steps were appreciated. Yet, toward the second half of this scene, the background music/sound switches to something like burning or crackling. It’s much louder than the previous background music, and I find it completely distracting.
And if kink is your thing, these films have plenty. The Elegant Spanking jumps into watersports pretty quickly. There is spanking, of course, as well as shoe/foot fetish. In fact, that plays an important role in both films. Too bad I hate feet. The Black Glove has lots of appropriate PVC; Maria Beatty is hog-tied, and a cane, Wartenberg wheel, clamps, knife, and wax all make an appearance. Most of these implements are rubbed or run over Maria Beatty’s lingerie-clad body, with the focus on her ass and breasts.
Fans of bonus material will be disappointed. The DVD lists a catalog of other Beatty films but was nothing more than a link to Beatty’s now-defunct website.
While artistic, striking in imagery, BDSM oriented, and incredibly intimate, it seems like these films would best be enjoyed by Beatty & Co. themselves. The artistic eroticism is interesting, and these films would probably lend themselves well to an intellectual discussion (perhaps of D/s dynamics). Still, their limited ability to arouse suggests that this film is simply art, not porn. I know that BDSM doesn’t have to include sex but porn probably should. Sometimes there is a grey area between porn and art, but the black-and-white films on this DVD suggest that is not a place Maria Beatty productions will ever be, and that’s okay. I’m just not the sort of person who can appreciate these films. On the other hand, there were a couple of scenes that would lend themselves beautifully to wall art (something which I can better intellectually appreciate). I would much rather have preferred a handful of stills that sum up the feeling of Black Glove/Elegant Spanking than view the DVD itself.
You may not know it, but I like pink—the colour. I’m also sort of a musician, too, but that’s not related. I first heard of Pink Lubricant years ago, but I’m not sure where. The attractive bottles drew my attention, and it stayed drawn for some years. However, I don’t use a lot of lube, so I never needed to buy it. However, I decided it might be the right time to try it out when Babeland offered Pink Silicone Lube for review.
The larger bottles of Pink lubricant are packaged in glass and look much like perfume. The 1.7oz bottle I received, although not glass, still looks pretty classy with its frosted plastic. I like it, but it’s less discreet than the glass style. The bottle is pump-style with a small cap over the pump to prevent spilling, and the whole thing comes wrapped in plastic (yay). I’ll be honest here.. Between unwrapping the plastic and using the lube, I have no idea where the plastic cap went. So, it would be useful if I could find it, but I can’t, and I have no recollection of taking it off. Chances are, the cats go to it, and it’s under some piece of furniture because it’s small and fun if you’re of the feline variety.
Now, my experience with silicone lubes is really limited. I’ve used 2 including Wet Platinum and the one included in Wet Together. The former experience was downright dreadful as I experienced some sort of reaction but the latter was fairly nice in lubricant properties (not so much as a sensation product, though!). Reviews of Pink are generally pretty high and I figured, maybe silicone lube really is worth it.
My first impression was a bit odd. I guess I was expecting the lube to feel like water-based lube does, you know, wet. It didn’t. It felt sort of greasy, and I kept pumping at first because I had no idea how much was in my hand. The next thing I noticed was how incredibly thin this lube is, which is something I usually associated with silicone lubes, although I do prefer lubricants that are slightly more gelatinous in nature. Also, the pump could jut out a bit more, like a long lotion pump does, because now it just sort of dribbles down the side of the pump/bottle. You have to tip it to avoid that.
So I wasn’t a huge fan of this on my hand but, to be honest, it’s quite slick and has much more staying power than water-based lube. A little goes a long way, and it doesn’t get sticky as it dries out. Plus, my hand isn’t my pussy – and I don’t want it to be. For actual toy or penis penetration, this lube did work decently. It made it quite frictionless, but it feels less natural than water-based lubricants seem to feel. It was as if there was a thin layer of incredibly slick plastic inside of me; sure, it reduces friction but I felt as though something was between my husband and myself. I’ve never even felt that way with condoms.
With toys, this was definitely less noticeable. It didn’t feel quite so.. barrier-like, which is great, but I’m not going to pay $15 for silicone lubricant for toys alone, you know? I really wanted this for actual intercourse. Plus, the parent company makes a water-based lube for use with toys.
To be fair, Pink Silicone Lube is not horrible. I did not experience irritation with it like I did Wet Platinum, and besides silicones, the only ingredients are Vitamin E and aloe vera, which seems to make it pretty healthy to me. I just really didn’t love the way it feels, which is entirely a personal preference. Maybe I’m just not built for silicone lubes (are there any that feel.. not so silicone-y? LOL). It is worth a try, however, if you do like silicone-based lubes.
Bsoft
N/A
from
This is an archived review of a discontinued product.
When the Bsoft first came out, I was intrigued. The unique shape still reminds me of the Jetsons, and I am always drawn toward original clitoral vibes. The reviews came out and none of them really raved. The lack of power was mentioned consistently, along with a few other issues that I, too, have now had the chance to experience firsthand.
It’s difficult to describe the shape of the Bsoft accurately. If one were to draw the Bsoft from either the top or bottom, it’s sort of pear-shaped, wider toward the center, with curved points on either end. The slightly sharper point is capped with a plastic cover to protect the port for the charger cord (like the ports on your phone or camera might be covered). As nearly every review has mentioned, this cap does not fit snugly and is constantly flipping up and around. I had to rearrange it several times during use; in fact, it was off right out of the box. It stays on because it is attached; however. Some folks have cut theirs off, but I’m wary of water or lubes getting into the vibrator, so I’ve kept mine on.
The design of this toy means only one side can really be used for stimulation. The side with the controls had a sleek border in blue (or pink or purple) around a center piece of more silver plastic where sit the 3 control buttons. The buttons are round, made of soft grey plastic and sit slightly higher than the plastic that surrounds them. There is a slight clicking which can be heard then they are pressed and they’re significantly larger than the controls on most toys which makes it incredibly easy to use. There is a master power switch and a plus and minus button. Bsoft starts at a low steady vibration, increases to a medium and tops off with one more level. There are 4 modes of pulsation, escalation and even a mix. But, because the vibrations are so high pitched, they tend to tickle rather than to deeply satisfy. Putting pressure on the vibe also seems to dull the vibrations.
The stimulating side would be the side which is made of hard, silver plastic. It’s entirely smooth, except for a seam about 1/2 an inch down from the plastic cover. This seam is definitely a place that can collect gunk, and I would carefully clean it with a damp Q-tip because of its proximity to the port. I do everything I can to prevent soap and water from getting in there (the loose cover doesn’t provide help), and toy wipes would probably be the best option for cleaning.
The hard plastic rises to create a soft ridge in the middle. It runs from the top where the cap is, gradually lowering toward the other end, where it diminishes toward a gentle curve and the vibrator is thinner. It is here that the vibrations are strongest, and I guess this area is intended to be used against the body. Although the sides of the ridge and the curving end are slightly broader when compared to the ridge itself, I really didn’t find any part of the Bsoft optimum for getting the pressure I like. Of course, the capped end really shouldn’t/couldn’t be used for stimulation either.
However, the entire piece fit fairly well nestled between my lips, which I liked. Because the entire toy curves slightly toward the back, the non-cap end stimulated the entrance of my vagina. If it were a bit longer, it would likely hit my G-spot but just missed it. I think the Bsoft would be more effective if it were simply a bit smaller. It measures 6″ long, 2.5″ at the widest, and about 1.5″ deep at the thickest. A smaller size, in addition to more of a soft curve instead of the ridge on the back would enable me to grind this toy against myself and still take advantage of how it fits against the vulva.
The Bsoft is super light because it requires no batteries. While the quality seems generally good, I find myself distrustful of toys that are so light. This vibrator comes charged, and I have yet to recharge it, although I used it for 20 minutes tops. The DC charger easily plugs into the toy and fits into any typical (American) socket. There is no indicator light, and the instruction manual does not say how long the vibrator needs to be charged but does say not to charge it for over 24 hours or to use it during charging.
The vibe comes with a fabric pouch (which is almost fleecy on the inside) to protect the plastic of the Bsoft, which seems to scratch easily (like an iPod). The bag is thicker than that which came with my BNaughty but isn’t what I would consider plush (perhaps the thickness of some flannel).
The unique shape of the Bsoft seems to be inspired by reality but is just a bit too surreal to provide the stimulation that I need to orgasm. Combined with the buzzy vibes, I can’t see it being useful for much more than warm up, which is a shame because few vibes seem to be designed to complement the vulva (and not just the clit). I recently bought Bswish’s newest clit vibe – BCurious – and I am definitely curious to see how it pairs up with this first effort.
