Below you’ll find all of the sex toy reviews I’ve written at Of Sex and Love. Find my opinions on vibrators, dildos, media (sex education books, porn, DVDs and erotica), bondage and BDSM gear, lingerie, anal toys, lube, massage products, and more!
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Wave Purple
N/A
from
This is an archived review of a discontinued product.
The Wave is a dual stimulator that is a little different than either your typical rabbit (or even the slimmed-down styles like the Silicone Intimate Diver, which I’ve tried) or C-shaped vibes (Rock Chick, anyone?), but that is exactly why it drew my attention. The longer handle which extends up toward the body, instead of away, drew me by its maneuverability.
It also made for a good size reference, in my opinion. Sometimes those C-shaped dual stimulators are totally off base when it comes to size. Upon opening the package (a colorfully decorated plastic box), I noticed how long the toy was. From tip to tail, it’s got some length – 10″ – and there’s the cord (which is a comfortable 27″ or so) and control/battery pack on top of it, but that was to be expected.
What I wasn’t expecting was just how rigid the jelly material would be. I mean, jelly toys tend to be softer as a given. That’s precisely why some people prefer them but The Wave is definitely an exception. It’s not rock hard but it’s as firm or possibly firmer than some silicone toys I’ve tried. This really perplexes me because both the G-spot and clit stimulators have nubs on them, resulting in a potentially painful combination, especially if you like to grind like me. Furthermore, some people might find the nubs a hindrance to insertion so I’d recommend a water or silicone based lube. Otherwise, the firmness is something a lot of folks look for when it comes to G-spot stimulation. It just seems like a bad idea when paired with equally firm nubs.
The curve opening on this toy is also a bit wider (4″ from point to point), which contributes to the overall length. This will probably be good if your G-spot is deeper or if your clit is further from your vagina but I found that the nubby G-spot end slid right past my G-spot when the clitoral end was on my clit and vice versa. Although the firmness meant I was still able to use the shaft for G-spot stimulation, I was never able to use it exactly how it’s supposed to be used, nor would I want to. I tried to press the clitoral nubs against my body but quickly stopped because I’m not a big fan of (that type of) pain.
In terms of vibrations, the Wave runs on 2AA batteries. The control pack has two buttons – up and down – and a light to denote each setting of vibration. It’s a velvety, rubber-cote-style controller which is easy to hold but nothing special. The 4 settings are all steady, and the higher frequency vibration is centered at the clitoral nubs. Intensity definitely decreases toward the G-spot stimulator. The Wave has a decent amount of vibration and my G-spot responded well. However, it’s worth noting that my G-spot is much more sensitive to vibes than my clit. Within a matter of moments, I was able to squirt despite the shortcomings of the Wave.
As its name suggests, the Wave is waterproof. The battery cap screws on tightly and there is also a rubber O-ring. The cord seems fairly secure where it attaches to the controller but not quite as secure where it attaches to the toy itself. Because of this, I probably wouldn’t submerge the wave. I’d stick to shower time.
The waterproofing makes washing with soap and water easy. I would recommend doing this before and after each use because of jelly’s porous nature. Swapping between partners or holes it something I can only suggest with condoms. While still tacky to the touch, the Wave seems less guilty of attracting lint as other jelly, probably because it’s so hard. Also, beware that skunky, jelly scent. The Wave is no exception in that department.
The Wave was quite successful at making me wet, although not at getting me off, and I expect at least one type of orgasm when it comes to dual-stimulation vibrators. I think I would have been able to wrangle the Wave into an effective orgasm machine had Doc Johnson decided to make it either firm or nubby. As is, the Wave is no treat, and I couldn’t even experiment with the handle because it hurt my clit. Still, I think Doc Johnson is on to something and, with a few modifications, this toy could make waves.
I had a lot of fun writing my review for Juliane by Lovemoiselle. After having such a good experience, I am definitely more interested in their products and ceramic in general.
Afterglow Candle (Cucumber Water)
N/A
from
This is an archived review of a discontinued product.
In my latest review of Jimmyjane’s Little Embers Massage Candles Set, I mentioned I was impressed by their packaging. I don’t want to inundate you by repeating that but, if anything, I was even more impressed with the packaging and presentation of the full size Afterglow candle.
The Afterglow candle comes in a paperboard box designed in white, grey and a seafoam-ish green. Overall, it’s clean and neat. This houses a paperboard construct which holds the candle and other implements steady. If you pull the entire thing out of the box, the construct folds away for easy access. I believe my instructions and other info was stuck to the top of the box to begin so, when I opened it, I saw the candle first. The candle sits on a box of stick matches and there is a pocket in the holder where an applicator brush sits. Once again, the attention to detail is immaculate.
The candle itself is in a cube-ish, frosted glass holder and, like my Little Ember candles, is sealed on top. During shipping, the candle must have been on its side because the uber soft wax has definitely shifted. The Afterglow is so soft it’s difficult for me to call it solid; it’s one of those in-betweens like jelly. I could dip in my fingers and use it like lotion, if I wanted. Because of the softness and shifting, the white wick was a bit difficult to find and I had to clear the area directly around the wick to light it. I know Juliettia had a similar candle and she had to dig into hers to find it. Mine wasn’t quite so difficult but, honestly, I’d forsake the all natural wick for a bit of dye so that I could actually see it.
All this playing with the wax allowed me to smell the scent. I chose Cucumber Water because I generally find cucumber to be refreshing, and the “water” part sounded even more so. I was surprised at just how floral the scent was at all. I wasn’t expecting that at all, from the name. There was a crisp, wet smell but the cucumber was effectively drowned out for the floral smell. After lighting, however, the scent is more balanced. It’s still extremely strong and a scent which I don’t love. The smell was noticeable in my living room and even overpowered my air fresheners (which I’d just changed). After having the candle lit for only a few minutes (10, tops), I had a headache. I think I would better appreciate the strength of the scent were it something I liked more.
I must say that the candle looks quite sophisticated and classy when list. The flame produces a yellow glow inside the frosted glass and these candles could double as decor and ambiance setters, too.
There’s not much to say about the matches except that the box is designed nicely and it certainly adds to the flare of the candle. The smell of sulfur is quite overpowering, initially, but I don’t frequently use matches. I will probably use a lighter with these candles from now on.
After only a few minutes, the soft wax had pooled into usable massage oil. I tested a little on my arm, first, because my experience with the Little Embers made me cautious. I had no issues with the wax being hot at all. In fact, it was probably a little cooler than I expected. The oil was rather thin (thinner than most massage products I’ve used) and slick, which makes for gliding one’s hands over the skin quite easy. It wasn’t sticky in the least and absorbed completely into the skin, leaving no residue.
Although the candle comes with a brush to apply, it certainly makes more sense to pour the oil straight onto the skin. You can better control how much and go for more right away if you want. You’re also losing less product to the brush itself, which becomes somewhat hard after the oil dries back into wax. I’m not a fan of a lot of upkeep so I will likely toss the brush. However, the square candle holder isn’t ideal for pouring either and, like the Little Embers, the oil dripped down the side.
The information booklet says each 5oz candle will burn for 42 hours but I think it’s important to note that using it for massage oil will obviously detract. It also advises to burn the candle until the wax at the edges has turned to oil or about 30 minutes (to ensure even burning each use). I have probably only burned it for 20 minutes at a time so the edges were not quite melted. I only like to let it burn until there’s just enough oil to use, and it seems like 30 minutes is a bit excessive, especially when you have curious critters or children around.
In general, we used most of the wax that had melted into oil, but when I went to see if any was still melted, it had already hardened. I find it difficult to believe 30 minutes had already passed and suspect that this estimate is also if you let it burn for 30 minutes. While this isn’t a big drawback for me, it might be if you’re into long massages.
Overall, I was impressed with the function and feel of JimmyJane’s Afterglow candle. It looks great, is presented nicely. has a strong smell, melts into wonderful oil, performs admirably and doesn’t leave any sticky residue. However, my experience with Jimmy Jane’s scents seems to be hit or miss, and my next product choice will be made more carefully.
Little Ember Massage Candles Set
This is an archived review. Jimmyjane no longer makes the Little Embers set.
This week shall be the week of JimmyJane, I think. It was pretty awesome because I got not 1 but 2 JimmyJane products in a short period a while back. Enter double excitement over my first JimmyJane products! Onto the good stuff, shall we?
The Little Ember Candle set is a great introduction to what seems to be some new products from JimmyJane. Unlike the Afterglow candles, which are 5 ounces each and come in familiar scents like Pink Lotus, the Ember candles are 12 ounces and feature a pairing of scents to create an overall ambiance. Jimmy Jane describes the candles as “a base note that leads the way, plus a charismatic top note to set the tone.” Sounds pretty neat to me. Of course, you guessed that the larger size means a larger price tag; Ember candles are almost twice the price of an Afterglow candle and, if you’re not sure that you’ll love it, that can be money better spent elsewhere. That is where this set comes in so handy. You can experience some of the scents in miniature form and for a significantly lower price than a full sized candle. It’s a no brainer really.
Decision made, I assume most people would be pleasantly surprised by the packaging. I know it’s something other people have mentioned before but Jimmyjane’s attention to detail is something which really puts them heads and shoulders above the competition and what makes them a luxury brand. The Little Ember set comes in a white-topped box with the Jimmyjane name and logo in silver on top. On the top front, coming onto the front is a pink-ish red square which says the product name. A similar rectangle is printed on the bottom sides of the box (which is otherwise black) which can be seen through two rectangular cutouts which make pulling off the top a cinch. The candle scents are also listed on the bottom back of the box lid but aren’t in the way. I actually missed that at first. The simple design and colours are definitely a hit, very sophisticated.
Inside the box you see the candles as well as a white rubber band and a black book of matches, both branded with the Jimmyjane logo. In this kit are three .7oz candles in each scent: GINGER + DATE, TRUFFLE + GARDENIA, LYCHEE + LAPSANG. It is arranged so each candle is in a corner with the empty corner making room for the matches and band. It’s impressively impressive, and, at this point, I would expect no less from Jimmyjane.
Each candle is roughly cube-shaped (1.5″ deep and wide, a little over 1″ tall) and sits in what appears to be a white ceramic holder. Each container is wrapped in a translucent plastic sticker branded with the logo. This keeps the candles sealed before purchase, and I appreciated this because mine were shipped. Although some of the wax may have shifted to the side of the container, it couldn’t escape, so no product was lost.
And with the soft, soy-based wax, melting and shifting is pretty common. Soft wax is par for the course when it comes to massage candles; I imagine this is because it allows them to melt as lower temperatures. You can dip your finger in the candle, make a dent, and rub a bit on as lotion, but if it’s a nice pool of massage oil, lighting is in order. Of course, this is as easy as peeling off the sticker and lighting up one of the included matches.
Because the candles are mini, it doesn’t take long for them to melt to a usable pool of oil – a few minutes at most. Jimmyjane says you can get 4 hours of burning time out of these and it seems a stretch for the size and it definitely doesn’t take into account that these candles are actually, y’know, for using. The instructions also say to blow them out before pouring, never a bad idea. In my experience, the candle holders never became very hot but the provided band is for slipping around the candle to shield your fingers from any heat.
I would also recommend waiting to use the oil. For whatever reason, the Little Ember candles seem to get unreasonable hot; perhaps because of the size. The first time we used them, it was too hot to pour on his skin directly and hurt my hand a bit. Other than that, the oil is quite slick and makes for a good massage. I’ve never had a massage candle about which I can complain; however. Little Embers do nothing terribly wrong in my book. I might like a slightly better method for application because the oil never failed to drip down the side of the containers onto my furniture. The scent is also quite strong. We started with Truffle + Gardenia, which I quite enjoyed, and the scent stuck around the room for at least a day and a half.
This leaves me to discuss the scents available in the Little Ember Massage Candles Set. They’re quite interesting combinations, and, I must admit, I was completely unfamiliar with most of the components. I don’t know what lychee or lapsang even are, I’ve never smelled a date and I never knew a black truffle is a root. The scent descriptions on Jimmyjane’s site give some insight but don’t really prepare you for the reality of the scents:
TRUFFLE + GARDENIA: The dirty decadence of Black Truffle grounds the airy notes of White Gardenia. This pair of aphrodisiac scents swings between the earthly and the ethereal.
GINGER + DATE: The crispness of fresh Ginger is warmed by the burnt sugar hint of sun-drenched Date. This pair of aphrodisiac scents entices with its rich notes and warm embrace.
LYCHEE + LAPSANG: Tangy Lychee fruit mingles with the smoldering indulgence of Lapsang Souchong tea. This pair of aphrodisiac scents suggests intrigue, where the familiar meets the exotic.
Tackling this one by one, Truffle (which is apparently a root) and Gardenia is my favourite, hands down. It’s floral, of course, but a sophisticated floral and not perfumey in the least. The candle has just a bit of spice which balances this out perfectly. I can see where the scent description is going.
Although I knew ginger smells a bit spicy, I wasn’t prepared for just how spicy it would be. Also, the scents do vary a bit from just smelling the candle to burning and using it. I found this scent to be much too strong in the candle but, in use, it became bearable (although enjoyable would be a stretch). Ginger is noticeable but I can’t smell anything like burnt sugar; instead, it seems like the other ingredient is herbal.
Finally, lychee and lapsang are a scent that basically evokes what I think old Oriental ladies would smell like. It’s herbal, soapy, woodsy, pinesol-y and tea-like and doesn’t venture anywhere near pleasant. It’s a bold move, perhaps a move that should be left undone.
With that said, Jimmyjane definitely got one of these scents right and my nose is not all noses so who’s to say that my experience isn’t limited? I would still recommend the Little Ember Massage Candles Set to anyone who wants to get a feel for these candles and I did Ienjoy them for their massage properties. Because of the presentation, this set might even make a nice present, if you’re comfortable gifting someone massage candles.
Raspberry Buttercream Frosting Soap
$16
from Jaqua
While browsing PinkCherry’s new products, I didn’t even wonder what a hand soap was doing on a sex toy site. Instead, I saw the words “Raspberry Buttercream Frosting” and basically freaked out because I’ve been on something of a sweets kick lately. So onto my list it went, and into my hands it was soon arriving.
Unfortunately, my dreams were dashed and my nose offended when I finally opened the package. Although packaged superbly (which I’ll discuss later) and gorgeously colored, Jaqua failed to deliver a promising scent with their liquid hand soap. I expected something berry and sweet right out of a bakery, but I’m still not sure what I got, and I’ve been using it for around 3 weeks. It’s a much heavier scent than I expected, as though there’s much too much of a single scent ingredient. It might be raspberry because my husband says he can smell the berry but I’m not sure. It does leave a berry-esque scent on my hands but actually using it isn’t my cup of tea. There’s also no trace of any frosting whatsoever. This is odd considering as it’s “enriched with fruit and plant extracts” (as well as aloe and Vitamins E). I’d think that fruit enriching would make is smell.. like fruit or berries, to be exact.
However, I’d like to point out that my husband really liked the scent of this soap, for whatever reason. He thought it smelled somewhat like raspberry and wanted more after we ran out.
As I mentioned, Raspberry Buttercream Frosting Liquid Hand Soap is still a good-looking product. It’s a typical, liquid soap bottle in cylindrical shape with a pump dispenser. You can see a dark raspberry-coloured liquid inside, but I’d say it’s a tad on the purple side; maybe it’s just because it’s so dark. The bottle is labeled quite nicely. The product name is on a solid square of raspberry red, and the ingredients are displayed on a similar panel on the back of the bottle. In between those, the stick itself is clear with light pink Jaqua symbols printed. for soap, it’s pretty sophisticated and you might even use it for decor if it matched your colour scheme.
Of course, using soap isn’t complicated. Give it a pump, add some water, lather. Rinse and repeat if you’re dirty. 😉 I found the soap to be rather thick, almost to the point of being solid. Sometimes chunks would like to fall right off my hands. Additionally, this made it resistant to lathering and my normal rather routine wasn’t sufficient. I realized this one day when I saw purple streaks on my white towels from drying my hands with stubborn soap residue. I’ve found I do have to lather longer and harder than usual. I have to be really purposeful about it, which is annoying. I do believe some of the water in the bottle sunk to the bottom as the last centimeter or so of product has been thinner and easier to work with. I wouldn’t call this “richly lathering” at all.
In terms of lasting time, I’ve had this bottle for about a month, and it’s nearing the end. That’s pretty average when it comes to hand soap and doesn’t stand out in any way.
While it’s not irritating and doesn’t dry my skin annoyingly (it neither makes my hands wonderfully soft), I’m not really enthused about Jaqua’s Raspberry Buttercream Frosting Liquid Hand Soap. I mean, it doesn’t smell as advertised and is difficult to work with. There’s not much else to redeem it. If all else fails, I want my soap to smell good and, considering as this was the draw, I’m pretty disappointed, especially for the price. At 8.5oz and 16.99, I could get several generic bottles of hand soap, which, in my opinion, would smell much better. I have a wonderfully scented raspberry soap sitting at the kitchen sink which probably cost less than $1. If this is the best that Jaqua offers, colour me unimpressed.
Better Than Chocolate
$89.90
from Amazon
Let me preface this with a great big thank you to Babeland for allowing me to review this luxury vibrator. I believe I am one of only five reviewers who had the chance, and I definitely appreciate it. Also, pictures will be coming soon. Apparently, something broke.
Jumping right in, I think it’s appropriate to say that anything named Better Than Chocolate had better be leaps and bounds above comparable items if it wants to come anywhere near its claim. I mean, it’s freaking chocolate, right? So I had some pretty high expectations for this vibe by Nomi Tang. It had better look great, be presented well, have all the details covered, be hygienically superior, perform well (including features and ease of use), and do all this in a way that is obviously unique. Let me run down this list and show you how well the Better Than Chocolate did.
Appearance: It’s only right to start with appearance because this is what initially drew me and others to this ergonomic clitoral vibrator. I’m always interested in uniquely shaped clit vibes, and the Better than Chocolate definitely fits the bill. In fact, it is somehow reminiscent of Star Trek and I know I’m not the only one who thinks so. I know I’m going to miss the mark by trying to describe this toy but, from the top, it’s roughly diamond shaped – wider in the center and tapering at either end. From the side, you can see that the wider middle also curves upward and each side curves up more than the rest of the toy, in a wing-like shape, creating a perfect resting spot for your hand while the bottom curves around your pubic mound. If you look at the vibe from either end, it actually looks a bit like a king cobra.
In comparison to other similar vibes, Better Than Chocolate is much larger. It’s definitely wider (2.5″ at its widest), longer (just over 4″) and taller(just under 2.5″) than the Laya Spot (and some people already find that too large for use during sex, so take heed). Their shapes are generally similar but the lines on Better Than Chocolate seem to be more exaggerated. My understanding of Lelo’s Lily and Nea is that they are also much flatter and smaller than the Layaspot so if you’re partial to that size/shape, you might be in for a surprise when it comes to Better Than Chocolate.
The longer end boasts a thin, plastic-covered, white touch censor, which also adds to the Sci-fi appeal, especially when it lights up blue or red. The other end has a small indentation of the power symbol, like a computer’s power button, which clicks the toy on and off but doesn’t add much in terms of visuals.
Available in either fuchsia or blue, Better Than Chocolate is sure to please most.
Presentation and Detail: This luxury vibe is definitely presented well. It comes in a heavy white cardboard box, like Lelo’s boxes, with the Nomi Tang logo in maroon on top (the logo is also printed, smaller, tone-on-tone all over the box). The box flips open from one end like a jewelry box, and the vibe itself sits on a velvet-lined cardboard tray within the box, which adds to the jewelry box feel. The box is also velvet lined and has Nomi Tang printed on the inside top. As is, the box would serve as a nice giftbox, if you gift a Better Than Chocolate vibrator to someone.
Upon removing the vibe from the box and tray, you’ll see it comes with an instruction book, a storage pouch and a message from Nomi Tang printed like a mini greeting card. Like anyone, I’m a fan of storage and because this vibrator is unique, an instruction booklet is a must. Of course, the inventive controls are definitely unique and show care/effort on Nomi’s part. Nomi Tang definitely paid attention to detail with this one.
Hygiene and Material; The booklet says that the surface materials are TPE and polycarbonate. I assume the censor is polycarbonate (a type of plastic), while the rest of the surface is made of TPE. I’m not sure what this means in terms of porosity because the TPE just seems to be a coating over a hard (plastic?) shell but I wouldn’t consider Better Than Chocolate something you can sanitize completely. This also means that Better Than Chocolate is quite rigid. You’d cause some damage if you threw it at someone’s head.
Performance and Features: I was a bit nervous about Better Than Chocolate because it runs on only 2AAAs (and, wouldn’t you know it, I was fresh out). The power button end twists off easily and twists back on very securely, which is important for any waterproof toy (it is!).
One click of the power symbol easily turns on the Better Than Chocolate. It’s easily felt and heard and the “NT” symbol on the touch sensor lights up. It seems that this vibrator starts on its highest setting which might disappoint some because if you’re a glutton for power, the impression is not just a taste of what Better Than Chocolate has to offer; it’s it. I was fairly impressed with the strength of vibration on this one. It’s right up there with the Laya Spot and definitely makes better use of the batteries than many toys. On the other hand, the lower settings are something I’d never have use for.
The vibrations are rather high in frequency but don’t make my hand tickle uncontrollably when holding it. They are focused in the tip but can be felt, mildly, through the rest of the toy. Better Than Chocolate never operates at much more than a low hum which I think is perfectly acceptable.
On to what you all want to know! How is the touch censor? It’s okay. It takes some getting used to. I found that I wanted to press it like a button instead of hold and slide my finger over it but, once I got over that, I quite like it. The censor means you don’t need 8 buttons nor do you have to press one button 8 times. It’s a very efficient way to control a multi-setting toy and I wouldn’t mind seeing use of this type of control more.
When it starts, on high, slide your finger toward the NT symbol to lower the vibrations or do the opposite from low. If you want something other than steady vibrations, hold your finger over the NT until it switches modes. From what I can tell, there are 2 modes: steady vibes, low pulsation and high pulsation. The high pulsation is a very enjoyable, throbbing pulse that surprised me by its power. If you find a setting you really like, you can hold your finger over the opposite end of the censor for 2 seconds to lock it; the NT logo will change to red.
In practice, I thought it would make more sense to increase vibes by sliding toward the logo and I tend to forget this. Also, because it’s a touch sensor, your speed, mode, and even lock status can be changed if something touches the censor on the Better Than Chocolate. My panties, thighs, and blankets changed the settings at one point or another. I think it might have been slightly more logical to make an actual lock switch somewhere on the toy because it’s absolutely necessary with a control as sensitive as this.
Although I will likely not use this vibrator in much water, you can, up to one meter. So if you ever need to get off in the pool or the ocean, go for it. It also means you needn’t be extra careful with cleaning so soap it up all over.
In Use: I found that Better Than Chocolate was just too large, too long. It’s not bulky per se but isn’t palm sized, either. It didn’t fit over my mons as well as I would like so it wasn’t effortless playtime. I don’t see how it would work well during sex at all.
I also found that the vibrating end was just too pointed and hard. I need something a little flatter and wider to provide adequate pressure, but Better Than Chocolate only provides pain if I press. I tried the other end, but the vibrations were much weaker, and this wasn’t any better. On the other hand, I was able to partially insert this vibrator and I found that to be enjoyable. If you like to stimulate the first couple of inches of the vagina and the surrounding area, Better Than Chocolate succeeds there.
I definitely needed to adjust to this vibe rather than use it in my typical way. This also means using lube, which I don’t normally do with clit toys. The TPE is finished soap that it’s sort of velvety, almost feeling like fabric and this creates a lot of friction. But once I applied a dab of lube, it was easy to move the tip of the Better Than Chocolate over, under, and around my vulva and clit.
Payoff: Although I did achieve orgasm, it was difficult and long in coming. After the initial orgasm, however, the following ones were almost effortless and came quickly. When all was said and done, I did feel quite satiated.
Final Thoughts: Nomi Tang’s Better Than Chocolate vibrator is solid and quality but not better than chocolate. It’s unique and, although the touch censor has some way to go before it’s perfect, offers a viable alternative to other vibrator controls. Although it gave me satisfying orgasms, I’d like to see it in a smaller size and perhaps rechargeable. Only then would I consider it to be a truly “luxury” vibe and be able to recommend it whole heartedly, especially at its current price.
Female Ejaculation& the G-spot
16.99 (Kindle)
from Amazon
It took me some time to finish Female Ejaculation& the G-spot by Deborah Sundahl, not just because it’s a longer book than most sex-ed books I’ve read (it is!), but because the direction she took was both unexpected and unwelcome by me.
Let me explain. By reading the first chapter and the last page of this book (of the actual content, not the very last page), you can get a very good feel for how this book is going to turn out. Ms. Sundahl does little to hide her attitude toward clitoral orgasms (which is that they are inferior) in “A Peek Inside a Female Ejaculation Workshop.” The last page of content is devoted to something I never, in a million years, would have expected from a book on female ejaculation: “A Female Ejaculation Blessing“. It is pages like this and ideas that are too tightly intertwined with the rest of the G-spot/FE content that tell a story of a woman who cannot (or will not) view Tantric/spiritual sex separately.
It’s not that I have anything against Tantric sex. It’s just not something I’m interested in now, nor is it something that I expect to read about in a book about female ejaculation. The two are not mutually inclusive to me and by taking the direction she did, I found Ms. Sundahl actually did a disservice to what is an otherwise helpful book. By the end, I was both frustrated at her insistence that women must have a spiritual experience with FE and amused at yet another flowery description of “feminine waters”. I actually began discussing this with my husband and would say, “Hey, she did it again, listen to this”. Neither of us could help but laugh at some of the ridiculous descriptions she used in the book.
Why do I say this?
I say it because while I do recommend this book, if you’re anything like me, the inclusion of spirituality in an FE book will be something of a hurdle. I strongly suggest you read the first chapter and the last page as well as leaf through Female Ejaculation & the G-spot before making the decision to buy it, lest you wind up with a fresh supply of hamster cage padding. If you think you can get past that or might actually like it, then go ahead and purchase Female Ejaculation & the G-spot. If you think it may be problematic, make one of your new age friends read the book and give you the run down.
That was the one major issue I took with Female Ejaculation & the G-spot, and, unfortunately, there was no way to get around it. Otherwise, I found this book was organized well and, within those chapters (each which started with a fairly useless story that was supposed to be related to the content but was really just laughable), contained information more complete and useful than any other writing on the G-spot or female ejaculation I’ve encountered yet. I think this book will be useful to any woman attempting to ejaculate for the first time or improve her FE experience. Partners may also find the book beneficial. However, if you’re looking to learn how to orgasm from the G-spot, you will not find this here; the inclusion of the G-spot in this book is generally only in relation to female ejaculation.
This book is split into three sections: The Phenomenon of Female Ejaculation, Techniques for a Feminine Fountain and Embracing the Feminine Spring. These sections could be looked at as introductory, theories in practice and improving upon the practice, respectively.
The first section covers Ms Sundahl’s intro to an FE workshop and takes a look at how people historically viewed FE. It’s especially apparent that Deborah Sundahl has spent some amount of time researching this subject and her passion shines through as she gives us our history lesson. In this section is also a chapter entitled “What is Female Ejaculation?”, a rather extensive anatomy lesson which gives the most complete explanation of FE and the prostate I’ve yet encountered. This chapter really takes away the mystery of the G-spot – in a good way! I can only wonder why it is not universally accepted as the view on the G-spot (I am also fond of her view of the G-spot, clitoris, perineum, et cetera as one interconnected female sex organ). The text and included images will introduce the reader to the G-spot, also known as the female prostate and show its different types (which account for how deep the G-spot is in different women).
I did find it interesting how orgasms are categorized in this book. Deborah Sundahl views the three types of orgasm as clitoral, blended, and uterine, as opposed to clitoral, vaginal, and G-spot. Her definition of a blended orgasm is G-spot orgasm and uterine orgasm, of which I’d never heard before this, is a deeper orgasm I suppose. It makes me wonder where there’s room for a vaginal, non-G-spot orgasm in her view. Or is there?
That aside, this introductory section leads quite well to the next, where Ms. Sundahl walks the reader through learning to ejaculate (in a chapter each), first without an orgasm, then with one as well as with a partner. The final chapter in the section is about “Men’s Role in Female Ejaculation”. This section focuses on techniques for finding and stimulating one’s G-spot, and Deborah Sundahl’s experience shows, once more, realistic descriptions of how a G-spot might feel rather than medical-sounding ones. Furthermore, there are personal anecdotes gathered over the years, which help to show the FE experience in all its variety.
“Ejaculate Without an Orgasm” instructs how to check one’s mental and physical readiness for FE. If one’s PC muscles measure too tense or loose, she suggests exercises to remedy the issue. There’s even some information about how menstrual cycle can affect FE, before she sets about helping the reader find her G-spot and locate all its parts. Like other works, Female Ejaculation & the G-spot touches on the difference between FE and urine, which is something I find personally interesting. However, Ms Sundahl basically says, “It’s not urine, but even if it is, oh well!” which I found to be awkward.
The following chapter discusses the types of orgasms and suggests ejaculating by stimulating mostly the G-spot but the clitoris as well, if it’s needed to orgasm. She wraps up the chapter with some information on sex toys for G-spot play. “Ejaculating With a Partner” helps bring FE into partner play, including position suggestions, but is otherwise a shorter chapter. “Men’s Role in Female Ejaculation” should actually be called “The Partner’s Role” and the personal experiences shared here are real and varied. In it, Ms Subdahl gives advice for those who wish to aid their partners in FE, even touching on how men can help by mastering multiple orgasms.
The third and final section has only two chapters, “Heal Your G-spot” and “Connection to Self and Partner”. While reading about G-spot healing was sort of interesting, this chapter is the most heavily focused in new age/spirituality/Tantra. In it, the author discusses emotional blocks, sexual healers, and healing sexual massage. In some places, this chapter comes close to fiction and if you’re not into it, I would advise skipping it completely. The final chapter continues with the Tantric theme in relationships and sums up the book. There are a couple of paragraphs each that explain what the reader (should have) learned in each chapter and suggest how the reader can further explore.jkmnnhbb
The book contains several pages of references, resources and glossary terms at the end. The reader can find the websites of people, places and products which were discussed by the author in this book; however, some of them no longer exist.
As one can see, the book is organized well and once the reader gets beyond that major Tantric theme (if that’s an issue), there is a lot of concrete information which can be helpful. I found that the descriptions really helped me to pinpoint areas on my G-spot and better understand its anatomy. I do have some final criticisms, however.
Deborah Sundahl frequently says things like, “All women can achieve FE just like all women are born with arms and legs.” I think generalizations like that are not only presumptuous but just go to show that, no, not all women can, just like not everyone is born with arms and legs. At one point in the book, she mentions that one should never look at things in absolutes; I believe she should take her own advice.
In the same vein, the author frequently says things like you will be able to achieve FE. While I know she’s trying to be supportive, her book may not help everyone and statements like these, combined with the statements above, could certainly make someone feel defective – especially when she emphasizes that a “numb” G-spot is from “body armoring” or emotional blocks. Could it not be that some people are just less sensitive?
I think that taking Female Ejaculation & the G-spot with a giant grain of salt is almost a requirement to get any use of it. If you can do it, there’s a lot to be had in between flowery descriptions and spiritual metaphors, certainly more than I’ve ever found online. When it comes down to it, I recommend Female Ejaculation & the G-spot to anyone curious about FE, with a couple caveats.
