Below you’ll find all of the sex toy reviews I’ve written at Of Sex and Love. Find my opinions on vibrators, dildos, media (sex education books, porn, DVDs and erotica), bondage and BDSM gear, lingerie, anal toys, lube, massage products, and more!
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Silky Sheets Pear Blossom
This is an archived review of a discontinued product.
I first heard of Silky Sheets a few years ago when browsing some sex toy party catalog. One of my co-workers had purchased it but didn’t feel like it really made the sheets feel all that silky. Since then, I’ve heard several similar accounts but people still recommend this pheromone-enhanced spray because of its drying properties – something which can only be beneficial after a bedroom romp. I finally decided to give this scented, talc spray a run for its money and I have to say, I’m still not convinced.
If you’re unfamiliar with Silky Sheets, it comes in a 4 oz silver spray bottle with cap. It’s not entirely obscene but it’s nothing to show off, either.
I thought, if nothing else, I’d have good smelling sheets. I was wrong. I was torn between the different scents and so I gave my top 3 to a friend who urged me to go with Pear Blossom. It sounded fine. Unfortunately, it doesn’t smell either like fruit or flowers. The scent is something.. perfumey and too heavy, almost fermented. When I spray, I get a small glimpse at a smell I might like but it’s covered up by all the negative attributes. So I don’t think it matters at all if there are pheromones in here because my strong sense of smell is too busy objecting at the scent to process any pheromones.
Secondly, it sprays white. Yes, it can be wiped off and does wear off eventually but it’s super obvious at first. I did a test spray on my coloured armchair and was surprised. I sprayed my red curtain to the same result except, I couldn’t wipe it off right away. I guess you have to wait until it dries. Also, get ready for a visible puff of talc in your air.
But the drying is really where I thought it would work well and I waited anxiously for my husband to come home because I really don’t make much of a wet spot by myself. Sheets finally wet, I sprayed. And touched the spot. And only felt it was wetter. Frustrated, I left it alone and, eventually, it dried. I posted a thread about Silky Sheets on a sex forum but got no response from anyone who had used it. Someone did suggest spraying further away, so I did. Second go around, I had a bit more luck. It really did seem to dry up some smaller wet spots caused by massage oil but the big one, well, I’m not so sure. I gave it a generous spray and noticed no difference. I let it be and it was dry when I came back, and slightly “crispy” (like jeans dried on the line) from the Silky Sheets spray. Yet, I had left the fan on while I was gone and it had been some time. From other reviews, I got the impression that this would work much faster than that.
Without making two identical wet spots to test, I really can’t prove that Silky Sheets does or doesn’t work. I’ll probably continue to use it, just to empty the bottle and I wouldn’t necessarily discourage someone else from using it – as long as they stay away from the Pear Blossom scent – but I wasn’t blown away like I expected to be.
This is an archived review of a discontinued toy.
I don’t know much about Dr Laura Berman except that she’s been on Oprah a time or two (even her Wikipedia page is scant, which is shocking for “America’s leading expert in female sexual health”) . I think we all know that the Cult of Oprah readily accepts the people and products that are on her show, giving them attention and praise (not to mention revenue), whether or not they are worthy of said attention and praise. Needless to say, I was dubious about how well a Berman Center product would work, especially with the disappointments I’ve had with Sue Johanson’s line of toys. After using Adonis, a dual stimulator, I now feel that Dr Berman knows her shit; she just doesn’t know how (or care) to put it together in the perfect package.
Right from the package, I noticed some differences between Dr Berman’s toy and every other toy I’ve ever tried. First, the box is a cool rhombus s shape from the top or bottom and I’m pretty sure that’s the first time I’ve used that word since geometry. LOL The outside panels boast the name, type of toy with the Berman Center logo a woman/uterus and a tidbit of information about Dr Berman and the toy itself. The front is actually a doubled-over flap, which opens to provide more information and a list of other Berman Center products. Initially, I didn’t even notice this, it sat so flush with the box.
This is a shame because the instructions for use explain the location of the G-spot when on your back and even explain that you may feel the urge to urinate. Although it’s not a complete guide to the G-spot, it makes this toy a lot easier to use for beginners. There’s also a note to only use oil or water-based lube and not to submerge when washing. I really wish every company provided this much useful information.
Inside, the box was fairly impressive too. It was made very secure by a piece of thicker cardboard which lined it. The Adonis G-spot and Clitoral Stimulator was inside a sealed plastic bag and that bag, in turn, sat inside another clear plastic bag with the control/battery pack. For anyone who has opened a box to find their toy floating alone amongst packing material after coming out of a horribly secured package, this is a step up for sure. There is also a thin, purple, organza bag included. The bag is nothing amazing but is definitely better than nothing at all. I like it, even if it doesn’t match.
The Adonis is a narrow C-shaped toy with a G-spot hook on one end and some soft nubbies on the other. It’s made of a pliable TPR silicone, not pure silicone. I don’t think the package actually makes this differentiation. On the plus side, it doesn’t seem to pick up lint at all. There is a slight texture which provides a bit of friction. Even at its thickest, the Adonis is no more than average penis girth, if that. It filled decently. I found the G-spot end provided very adequate stimulation but the clitoral nubs sat a little looser against my vulva than I’d like, resulting in a very light touch. If you like only a light touch, I would recommend this. Unfortunately, the shape wasn’t conducive to pressing it against my pubic bone how I like, despite the so-called finger dents. My fingers fell nowhere near those indentations, and the round shape of the toy didn’t offer a good handhold.
The Adonis is detachable from the control pack via removable plug-in jacks. Normally, I am not a big fan of removable jacks like this, but the Adonis does it uniquely. There are two motors in the toy with independent controls and jacks. One features 3 functions of steady vibration, and the other has 7 functions (low, medium, high, roller coaster, fast pulsation, stair stepper, and super speed). You can choose which jack to use for each motor, so if you prefer pulsation on the inside and vibration on the outside or vice versa, you’re set. This made me feel like I had control over the toy.
There is a single On/Off/Function button for each motor, which is raised and easy to find. This isn’t rocket science and is okay for the motor, which only has 3 functions but becomes a little frustrating with the 7 function motor. You have to page through the rest to the right one or turn it off. There’s also no universal off button; although, I suppose you could just pull the wires from the jacks if you had to. Ideally, there’d be a universal off button and up/down buttons, too. Plus, the control lacks balance as the batteries sit in it kinda weird. They sit in 2 rows or 2 (like this: ==), rather than doubling up thickness so it’s pretty long. The wires between toy and battery pack are a whipping 32″ long and don’t hinder movement. I did find them to be strangely thick but it doesn’t detract from use.
Overall, the vibrations were okay. The pulsation was actually really strong, so strong that pulsation on the clit alone also easily provided G-spot stimulation. On the other hand, the steady vibrations seem to have less life than the pulsations and were a high-frequency type of vibration. I also felt that using both motors at once was perhaps a bit distracting.
There is one major design flaw which is highlighted by the amount of noise this toy makes. The internal bullet typically operates as more than an acceptably low hum, but, strangely, its wire runs through the toy and sits right against the other bullet. This makes the external bullet much louder, almost painfully loud. It’s very distracting. In certain positions, this wire also rattles against the clit bullet even when only the G-spot bullet is on. Another strange construction decision is how the wires exit the toy. The wire from the clitoral bullet; they simply come out of a hole in the toy with no cover or cap. Care is a must when cleaning and I wouldn’t even try this toy in the shower.
In the end, I feel that the Berman Center Adonis G-Spot and Clitoral Stimulator has a strong foundation. It works well for my shape, and with some thought given to the wires and an easier handhold on the outside, I would use it frequently. With the current flaws, I think it should be price more reasonably.
Sue Johanson's Royal Rabbit Vibrator
N/A
from
This is an archived review of a discontinued toy.
Not too long ago, I tried a Sue Johanson rabbit vibe and was like “Hmmm, this a decent toy but it doesn’t fit me all that well.” I thought I’d try another toy by Ms Johanson and opted for her Royal Rabbit (I’m trying to get away from this purple kick, really I am!).
In terms of rabbits, this one is different. The Royal Rabbit could be seen as a sort of “back to basics” rabbit. It’s rather much smaller than some (especially compared to giants like the Passion Wave) and measures in at “only” 6″, 4.5″ of which are insertable. With a diameter that’s only slightly above 1″, it could very well be a newbie toy. It also only has one function. No beads or rotation here. The Royal Rabbit only vibrates and only in one place: the head. Because there’s no bullet in the clitoral stimulator, the bunny is much smaller. Lastly, the Royal Rabbit is not controlled by a bulky battery pack/control setup at the bottom of the toy but has a wired remote, the first I’ve tried on a rabbit.
What the Royal Rabbit lacks in size, it more than makes up for in texture and shape. The pthalates free, TPR silicone is ribbed on the shaft, to add an extra bit of sensation to your play. Because of the increased friction, using a bit of water-based lube is a good idea. The enlarged head is also decorated with bumps and whirls, which, I admit, I didn’t feel all that much. However, it’s shaped worked very well for mild G-spot stimulation, which I usually don’t get from rabbits. The head is much firmer than the shaft (which can be bent to about a 90-degree angle) or the bunny’s ears (but his body is about the same firmness as the head). Plus, I never had to deal with any painful cervix bumping. This vibrator was definitely a little easier to maneuver because of its shorter length.
The remote control also aided in maneuverability. Because of my short arms, I have trouble grasping uber-bulky vibes that extend what feels like 3 feet from my vagina. This usually results in the vibe hitting the back wall of my pussy rather than the front/G-spot. This definitely wasn’t an issue here and being able to see the control in my hand took out all the guesswork. The control is very easy to use as well. It has only two buttons: an On/Off button and a button that cycles through the settings. A lot of multispeed/setting vibes do not have a button for an “easy” off, so I also appreciated that. Seeing as this toy is supposedly waterproof, the battery cap does fit snugly and the wise is firmly attached with a little protective cap over it.
Function-wise, this vibrator has a few options. The vibrations start steady and there is a low, medium and high. Next is a setting called rollercoaster, a fast pulsation that increases in speed/frequency then repeats. This is followed by a slower, steady pulsation, then a medium-paced pulsation. The seventh and final mode is a sort of “dot dot dot dash” or three quick pulsations followed by a lingering one, which repeats. For 2AA batteries, the amount of power is what I would consider satisfactory. I did find the steady vibrations to be rather lackluster as that isn’t exactly what does it for me internally. The pulsations were more enjoyable, though.
Unfortunately, since the vibration is focused on the tip of this toy, it wasn’t to be felt near the clit at all. Even if I’m just holding the Royal Rabbit in my hand, I can barely feel vibrations in the bunny’s ears, but once inserted, there’s nothing to be felt at all. I wonder if it would have made more sense to center the vibrations in the middle of the shaft or even in the clit stimulator because I think the rounded head would still be pleasurable on the G-spot. Some people find that multiple functions of some rabbit vibes are distracting so they might enjoy the Royal Rabbit more than I did. Sadly, it offered no clit stimulation at all, and, considering as I am a clitoral orgasm kind of gal, it was disappointing.
Because of the textures I previously mentioned, one might want to take special care when washing the Royal Rabbit. Soap and water or toy cleaner (unfortunately, TPR silicone cannot be sterilized) will work just fine but take your time, perhaps even use a Q-tip in the ridges and whorls. I ran my toy under running water when cleaning and it was fine but I did try to stay away from where the wire protrudes from the vibrator itself as it doesn’t have a nice protective cap n that end, like the battery pack does. I might try this in the shower but would advise against full submersion, just in case.
I was not personally impressed with the Royal Rabbit. It didn’t fit my needs, but someone who can achieve vaginal/G-spot orgasms more easily than I can or who doesn’t mind pairing this with a clitoral vibe might enjoy it better. I do think that this vibrator is about the same quality as the other toys in Sue Johanson’s line; it’s a step up from most Cal Exotic toys, but we’re not talking Fun Factory or anything here. As it is, I don’t have any qualms about using the toy, and it seems decent quality, except for where the wire meets the vibrator. I simply need more than decent to blow my mind.
Tantus Delta
Tantus no longer makes this stimulator.
I’m going to take a reprieve from my normal review style with this one. I hope you enjoy.
The Description: The Delta by Tantus is a dual stimulator which can be used by either sex for anal and perineum stimulation or by women for vaginal and clitoral or vaginal and perineum stimulation. It’s flared based makes it perfect for harness use while the grooves on the base make wielding this dildo a cinch. A hole in the bottom can be used with Tantus’ suction cup or the included bullet.
The Specs: Delta is a gorgeous, shiny purple and is quite soft and flexible – unlike the other Tantus toy I tried.. It’s also rather small; the larger, insertable finger is only 3″ long and about the thickness of my thumb while the smaller thumb-like protrusion is 3/4″ long. The base is roughly a rounded triangle and measures about 3″ at the longest point and 2″ at the shortest. The included bullet runs on several watch batteries and has only a single speed.
The Good: Like all Tantus sex toys, Delta is pure, nonporous, sterilizable silicone which makes it healthy and body safe (this means only water-based lube). The small and tapered finger will make insertion possible, even easy, for the freshest of beginners. The grooves on the base work wonderfully for grasping and maneuvering the Delta.
The Bad: The flexible silicone does not provide the firm G-spot pressure many women desire nor does it give a filling feeling. The clitoral stimulator is extremely short and just missed mine. I find it difficult to believe this could be used for double penetration. I also suspect the size and softness mgiht make this a little difficult to control in a harness. The included bullet is rather weak and will be difficult to remove even if you lube it up before insertion.
The Suggestions: I don’t think Tantus’ usual dildo + a bullet formula works well for this style of toy, even if the silicone were larger and more firm in places. Perhaps this would be better as simply a dildo like the Little Su or a Jollies Dildo but I think that would involve redesigning the entire toy.
The Bottom Line I knew the small size and soft silicone of this toy would not be enough to get me off almost immediately after inserting it. I get the feeling it work would better as a first time anal toy because it’s not intimidating in the least. Even if I were a beginner, it wouldn’t suit my needs, however.
Delta seems like it would be much better as an anal toy than a vaginal one, however.
Icegasm Kit
N/A
from
This is an archived review of a discontinued product.
Temperature play is an easy and safe way to add a little excitement to the bedroom. I love the feel of a cool dildo upon first penetration and also enjoyed some frozen lube cubes I had the opportunity to try. Oddly enough, I’m almost adverse to heating products, except for use in massage, and have no interest in them whatsoever. On the other hand, I jumped at the opportunity to try an ice-based sex toy (and I hear BSwish has something on the horizon, too!).
Straight from the package, Icegasm is perhaps too like Tupperware with its brightly coloured ice tray and pocket rocket style vibrator. Part of me want to cringe as the various coloured caps over the tray and part of me finds it ingenious because it would absolutely not look out of place in the freezer. I could even say it’s a tray for water bottle ice cubes. On the other hand, nothing about this set is sophisticated or appeals to my sense of aesthetic.
Regardless, Icegasm is unique. It comes packaged in a clear plastic bag with instructions you or I could have printed and tied with ribbon. It has a very DIY feel and I’m not sure how I feel about that. The presentation was slightly impaired by the fact that the vibrator had fallen out and was floating loosely in the box.
The ice tray has 4 tubular slots to produce tubular ice cubes which can be attached (1 at a time) to a pocket rocket style vibrator. This vibrator is pretty typical, if not a little outlandishly coloured, save for the tip which is a plastic dome (as opposed to the 3 “prong” style of many pocket rockets). Beneath the dome is a nut, the center of which lines up with a hole in the center of the dome. Any appropriately threaded object can be screwed into the top of this vibrator. Otherwise, it is one speed, powered by a single AA battery and relatively mild in terms of vibration. I also don’t think it’s waterproof.
If it the caps which prove appropriate. These slightly dome-like pieces of plastic sit atop the molds (they don’t seem to snap on so expect them to be loose). Through a hole in the center of the caps are plastic “sticks”, like a screw without a head. These sticks protrude from either side. After freezing for 3 – 5 hours, with the caps placed on the molds, the ice has frozen securely around the plastic. (Your ice cubes are ready to use after running under hot water or letting thaw for 5 – 10 minutes.) The other end of the stick is screwed into the vibrator by grasping the cap. The overall tool looks something like a wand or sword.
When it comes to transmitting vibrations, ice does not seem to be the best material because it is so dense. I could feel it but pressing it against myself definitely muted the sensation. Nevertheless, the cold was intense. Almost too intense, even for me. I think a lot of people fear cold and, if you’re really not into it, this is definitely not for you, but they forget that our bodies are more sensitive when we’re cold. When you have goosebumps, sensations are that much more intense, right? Unfortunately, I found the Icegasm too cold for insertion but external play was more comfortable. The chill definitely made me more sensitive, and I remained so for quite some time.
On a note of safety, I know you’re not supposed to apply ice directly to skin or for more than 15 minutes in regards to pain so I would also not use this for a prolonged amount of time. However, there is no safety note on the instructions.
One thing I noticed is that I had so much fun playing with it in my hands, before on my genitals, that it was already quite melty. The drips of the cold water were more shocking than the actual cold solidity. With the ice end on top, the cat actually serves to “catch” the drips and can be dumped out. Of course, the melting makes is a wet activity so a towel or Liberator Throw or something would be appropriate.
Next time, I would also alternate with something room temperature or warm just to break up the intensity. So perhaps a glass dildo dipped in warm water or even warm breath (if only I had that right now!) would make it even more interesting and possibly make it more comfortable for longer play.
Ultimately, I didn’t experience any sort of Icegasm. I had fun with a novel idea. I would like to play with it again and add some heat. I think the properties of vibration were overstated; a pocket rocket really doesn’t give you great vibes but it didn’t detract from the overall play. Perhaps the concept of “ice dildos” would be something to explore more. Either way, I’m really excited to see what ice toys pop up next and while the Icegasm kit isn’t flashy or as pretty as some I think it’s mainly due to the concept of ice toys being in its infancy.
Good Vibrations Guide to the G-spot
$9.50
from Amazon
“Good things come in small packages”.
“There can be too much of a good thing”.
“It’s the little things that count”.
At first glance at The Good Vibrations Guide to the G-spot (here on out just known at The Guide, okay?), it’s hard not to wonder if the Good Vibes team, including author Cathy Winks (a former Good Vibes employee, reviewer, and guide author), religiously stuck to one of the above cliches. Otherwise, why would this book be so damned short? Indeed, measuring in at 63 pages, a full 10 of which include references, resources and notes, it almost feels erroneous to call this a book. Perhaps “extended pamphlet” would be more accurate? In truth, I believe that Good Vibes/Ms Winks tried to be open and honest about a subject which has not been thoroughly studied or even acknowledged by the scientific community and, by extension, most knowledge is anecdotal, regarding personal experience, rather than tried and true scientific fact. Even then, what exists is little and, by sticking to the few facts there are, Good Vibes was only able to produce a slim book. In some ways, I applaud this approach because The Guide is essentially hype-free and that is definitely one of its strong points. On the other hand, it quickly becomes evident that there just isn’t enough evidence to warrant the writing of this book or the purchase unless you really prefer a hard copy to keep in the nightstand or are otherwise completely unfamiliar with the G-spot.
So a brief rundown of this brief publication. The introduction sets the attitude for the entire book and that attitude is extremely reassuring and comforting. Cathy Winks tells the reader that, yes, some women experience pleasure from G-spot stimulation in these ways and the G-spot can sometimes be located and stimulated in these ways, every woman is different. Some women need different techniques, have different shapes or quite simply are not positively affected by G-spot stimulation. And it’s all okay. The intro also introduces us to the quotes from real women that are printed throughout the book, describing their personal experiences.
Just the Facts, Ma’am is the chapter which follows and basically gives the reader an anatomy lesson. Cathy talks us through the clitoris, anus, vagina, perineum, urethra and, of course, the urethral sponge AKA the G-spot. In fact, most references to the G-spot seem to use the term urethral sponge. I find this to be slightly misleading because The Guide does not take the time to differentiate between the different erogenous zones located around the urethra/sponge – IE the G and U-spots. Some confusing wording in The Guide seems to imply that the erogenous zone near the urethral opening, also known as the U-spot, is simply the “external” end of the G-spot. I find this to be erroneous but perhaps it is simply another poorly researched topic. Similarly, there is no mention of the Anterior Fornix Erogenous Zone/A-spot. Regardless, the author explains that all the hype about G-spot orgasms has done a disservice to clitoral orgasms and orgasms in general as women right them off as the “wrong” kind of orgasms. By the end of the chapter you feel that, whatever works for it, it’s all okay.
I’d like to take the time to note that this chapter includes a diagram which I found especially unhelpful. Perhaps it is the size limits or the black and white or simply the image is not true to proportion for simplicity’s sake but it is not my favourite. In particular, the pubic bone seems incredibly far from the vagina.
The next chapter is perplexing in that it is its own chapter at all. Ms Winks explains to the reader that there really is no new information about female sexuality or the female body. Nothing is being discovered, only rediscovered when society finally decides it is acceptable. Body part by body part, she outlines the discovery and exploration of body parts from Kinsey’s findings on the clitoris to Grafenerg’s studies on the urethra and naming of the G-spot to historical recollections of the female prostate and how views about female ejaculation have changed over the years. Because this chapter was generally split up by body part, I’m not sure why it couldn’t be merged with the first. Additionally, much of the information felt like repetition, already. Save for the interesting fact that, for over 2 thousand years, scientists believed conception was due to both male and female ejaculations, there wasn’t much information worth reading and certainly nothing really new to me.
Exploration focuses on finding your grove (if one is to be found) with the G-spot. It starts with an emphasis on communicating with your partner, describes general location and feel of the G-spot and, like many other resources, advises plenty of play to increase arousal beforehand. The typical “come hither” technique is discussed as well as suggestions of position for solo and partner exploration, including intercourse. However, most of the chapter seems to cover ejaculation: how to (don’t forget those kegels!), who can do it, what ejaculate is made of so on and so forth. I found it interesting that no studies have been done to determine if female ejaculate could carry STIs. Again, this chapter reflects the great amount of uncertainty in the world of female orgasm and ejaculation.
Tips, Toys and Techniques delves into the PC muscle and spends a page or three stressing – yet again – that all orgasms are good and whether or not you have one type, another or a blend of all types it’s all okay. The chapter is summed up with description and even names of toys which might help stimulate the area. Cindy tells us that some women like vibration on the G-spot and others not, because it is responsive to pressure and not touch – a useful (but not new) tip, indeed.
And then the book is done – save for notes, references, resources and a note about the author.
Say what? Yes, that’s it. Besides a few interesting historical points, a tip that cervical caps may block access to the G-spot and the bit about ejaculate and STIs, there was virtually no information in here that I did not already know (and even those tidbits were something I could likely learn about via the internet). If you’ve Googled the G-spot more than once or followed any discussions about G-spot orgasm, you probably already have all of this information. So, if you’re like me and have the information but haven’t had a lot of luck with G-spot exploration anyway, this is not your solution. However, if you’re an absolute newbie to the G-spot, require your information in hard copy or are informed but still incredibly unhappy about your progress with G-spot orgasms, this book might be useful to you. Even still, it’s easier and cheaper to Google it.
Best Lesbian Erotica 2009
$15.95
from Amazon
As my collection of erotic and “mature education” books grows, I’ve grown, too. I’ve become more aware of my preferences and, hopefully, this will help me determine what items are best for me to buy or review. Unfortunately, despite the fact that I know I like lesbian erotica, I was still disappointed in Best Lesbian Erotica 2009: because it’s not all encompassing lesbian erotica, it is narrowly focused butch/femme erotica.
Let me back up, though. This colourfully bound book called for me ever since I first laid eyes on it. It’s feminine and modern in purple and green (a la Joker, perhaps?) shades which don’t quite match the hair and fingernails of the scantily clad ladies on the cover but that’s okay because it’s still pretty. Really, the colour combination is one which I have always loved so it easily won me over.
It’s also the last edition Tristan Taormino will edit and begins with her foreword which both gives us a glimpse of what is to come in the book and what has come in her life because of her involvement with the series. It’s erotic in its own way, touching and appropriate. Following, is an introduction by Joan Larkin, the one who selected the stories (and as such, the object of my scorn). Following Tristan’s words, the introduction really pales in comparison.
The majority of this book is, of course, 2 dozen tales of girl on girl (and sometimes another girl) action brought to you by names lesser known and names instantly recognizable (such as Rachel Kramer Bussel). They are, undoubtedly, well written and edited; however, they do not necessarily provide “in your face” action. The settings and interactions are both profound and arousing: sometimes profound because they are arousing and sometimes the other way around. I particularly enjoyed, Shanna Germain’s “On Snow-White Wings”, a beach-side tale of how love can surprise a soul to the point of obscuring recognition.
However, the majority of these stories do little to veer from the theme of butch and femme interactions. Although some stories only implied as much, others were laden with stereotypes and pretenses to the point that I would read less than the first page of a story and skip past it thinking “Not another one”. You see, I don’t mind these stories. Many of them were extremely hot. I more than thoroughly enjoyed “Lipstick on Her Collar” by Sachhi Green and expect to enjoy it repeatedly in the future but it was the unique setting of the story: a butch woman serving in the Woman’s Army Corps during Vietnam, who enjoys a roll in the hay with a femme reporter, amidst the war around them (and perhaps, slightly because of it). No, I do not deny that these stories can be great.
I also cannot deny that several stories, in fact, fight those stereotypes. Teresa Noelle Roberts’ “Tough Enough to Wear a Dress” tell a story of a dyke man enough to shed the stereotypes and step out in a burgundy, velvet evening gown. As her femme counterpart explains, people will think she is
a dyke in a costume.. A fabulous, flattering costume–but one that enhances who you are instead of hiding it
What I argue is that they are not the entirety of the lesbian world, as this edition would have us believe. As I am not familiar with previous versions, I cannot say if it is simply this one which reflects upon lesbians so narrowly or if the whole series is at fault but there is a distinct lack of “vanilla lesbian” (I fretted long and hard about the most PC way to illustrate this concept, please forgive if it offends).
Newsflash!
Not all lesbians subscribe to those lifestyles. The lesbian population is not evenly divided in to butch or femme. Some are a little of both. Some are none. Both parties in a lesbian couple can wear lipstick. Silicone does not have to be an extension of ones self, it can simply be a sex toy. And those lesbians aren’t hiding, either. Neither are they any less significant part of the population. So why is it that this book seems to overlook them so?
It’s a shame because some of the specifics within these stories (S&M, shoe fetishes, stranger sex and escorts – just to name a few) are spectacular but I found it impossible to ignore the overwhelming presences of rigid butch/femme stereotypes. Maybe what I want would be considered boring; maybe I’m not “hardcore” enough to appreciate Best Lesbian Erotica 2009. Maybe I want a man’s lesbianism and need to look elsewhere. Maybe, just maybe, I’m right
