Nomi Tang Getaway Luxe

August 22nd, 2011

This has since been replaced with the Nomi Tang Getaway Plus 2.

Has it really been soooo long since I first review the Better Than Chocolate? It was novel then, although not perfect. I’ve been wondering how well the new Nomi Tang vibrators would work but refrained from trying them because I had more than enough effective G-spot vibrators. Still, they looked so interesting, with their airplane-esque designs, that I eventually requested one to review.

The Luxe is the black model, the in-between, with an angled, slightly bulbous head. It’s less intense than the Wild but more interesting than the narrow shaft of the Pure. In fact, the Wild is awfully similar to the Lelo Ella, and I don’t think my pubic bone likes hooky things much. So Luxe it was.

There are some definite improvements over Tang’s first effort. For starters, the Luxe is coated in a silky silicone rather than the TPE composite of the Better Than Chocolate. The silicone feels velvety and smooth to the touch and is definitely softer. Although the inner workings of this vibrator are rigid, you can squeeze at the handle and the bulbous head and feel a bit of give. You might not expect this from the images, but I definitely approve.

Another improvement is the use of 2 AA batteries rather than AAA. Although the Getaway Luxe isn’t the most powerful vibrator that I own, its vibrations are moderately rumbly and more than do the trick for me. Now, if you’ve been here before, you’ll know that I respond well to deeper vibrations, even if they aren’t super strong. Unfortunately, if strength alone is what you require, the Luxe may not meet your needs.

That is not this toy’s only downfall. I complained in my Better Than Chocolate review but I just don’t understand why these vibrators start in their highest settings! Surely, we’re going to want to turn it up and be sorely disappointed when we realize that this is all we get. No need to reinvent the wheel here. Low to high has worked well for years.

I haven’t noticed any difference in the touch controls. In fact, I used my previous review to remember how to use them. The user guide is wrong, as it indicates sliding your finger toward the NT logo turns the vibrations up when the opposite is actually true. It’s a fairly smooth transition between strengths, but there’s not too much of a difference between the high and the low. In my opinion, the low could be even lower for more of a preparatory sensation and, of course, the highest steady vibration setting could be stronger yet. It’s definitely a middle-of-the-road vibrator.

I’d like some sort of light setting to indicate the strength of the vibrations on this one because you don’t have the definitive click of a button. The light remains steady on the steady vibrations, instead. It flashes when you turn on different modes after holding the NT logo for two seconds. As far as I can tell, the modes include a slow and fast pulsation–and that’s it. I don’t mind because the pulsation is pretty effective, but most vibrators have more settings than I can count or tell apart. If you like escalation or faster pulsation, you might find this one lacking.

But back to the positives. The Getaway Luxe is lockable if you press and hold the end of the slider without a logo. The logo turns red to indicate locking status, and if you power it off and back on again, it will be unlocked. You can use it underwater, and the battery compartment is pretty secure; however, the controls need to be dry to use. I’ve also noticed that it’s less responsive if my hands are a little greasy if I’ve put on lotion, and lube would seemingly cause the same.

My thoughts on the touch controls are a little less positive this time around. It works; it has some nice features, but it’s not as convenient as a physical button, which is quicker, offers tactile feedback, and will still work even when greasy (for the most part). I’m also frustrated with the entire battery setup. You screw off the end of the toy to insert 2AAs into a plastic carriage. It’s a little finicky, and I’d rather directly insert the batteries. Aligning the cap back up is a bitch. I can’t never get it right, so it always takes a few moments of fiddling. Once it’s on, it’s on and secure, however.

I did enjoy the shape and texture of the Getaway Luxe. The bulbous head easily found my G-spot and was also good for clitoral stimulation. The wide handle is so easy to grasp and a little softer than the shaft. The placement of the touch script, during use, is a bit awkward but it’s not so much an issue if you leave it on one setting.

Luxe offers 6 insertable inches, and the majority of the shaft is only around 1 inch thick. The bulbous head is slightly wider, but it’s not a large toy by any means, so it may be good for newbies. Because of the larger handle, the toy has an overall length of 11″ and you may want to pass this by if you want something discreet.

Like the Better Than Chocolate, this comes in a pretty white box. This time, it sits in satin, with a long and narrow guide book and Nomi Tang now includes a drawstring satin bag for storage and transportation. While the Getaway Luxe hasn’t proven to be a dust magnet like some of my other silicone toys, this is definitely a plus. Yet, other toys come with storage and better performance for less.

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Compact Discretion

August 16th, 2011

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

MyPleasure offers The Compact Discretion is a bullet vibrator that aims to be discreet and, in that, it is actually pretty successful. The vibrator itself, its cords, battery pack and control all sit within a case that looks like a short glasses case. It’s too small to fit glasses but you could maybe describe it as for cigarettes or business cards. Either way, it makes your vibrator super portable in addition to discreet.

But aside from that, I didn’t like this toy a bit. As soon as I opened the case, a strong plastic/manufacturing smell emanated from it. Unfortunately, this is full of plastic parts that simply didn’t get enough airing out. You might be able to remedy this a bit by letting it sit open. I did, but the smell didn’t completely dissipate.

Aside from the smell, another complaint is the battery compartment. There’s a button you need to press down to slide the rectangular cap outward and up, but it’s not very efficient and likes to stick. When the compartment does open, it 2-AA batteries. This leads directly to my next complaint. For a vibrator that uses 2-AA batteries, the Compact Discretion is absolutely weak. The vibrations are incredibly shallow and surface-level. If I didn’t know better, I’d expect this bullet to be powered by a single AAA! It’s nothing compared to the BNaughty, which I enjoyed quite a bit.

There’s a slider button to control the vibrations. Because they’re so shallow, I really can’t tell much of a difference between the five settings. They’re all steady; no patterns here. There’s tiny red lights to help show which setting you’re on but I don’t find them all that helpful.

Onward with the complaints! The cord between the case and the bullet itself seems quite short. I don’t use a lot of corded toys these days so I find it so awkward. The case is too big to hold during use, really, but if you set it down next to you, the cord makes things awkward. Although it’s attached to the bullet securely, the bullet itself feels cheap.

Because everything’s attached, you need to deal with the awkwardness while trying to wash without wetting the inner workings. You must also completely dry the bullet before returning it to its case.

I don’t have a lot of positives to say about this toy. It’s discreet but at the cost of being fully functional. I would spend the money on a higher quality bullet for sure.

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Divine Inspiration Rotating Massager

June 8th, 2011

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

So, I’m into new and unusual things and the Divine Inspiration Rotating Massager from California Exotics fits the bill pretty well. It’s a wand-style toy that rotates and vibrates, and it’s all decked out in pink and black. The specific model I received is straight-handled. The handle is about 1.5 the length of my fist so it’s not like the size of a Hitachi or anything. It’s fairly small. This small toy is powered by two AAA batteries that insert into the end of the handle after the pink cap screws off. There’s one of those ribbons to aid you in removing batteries–although I usually find them to get in the way–and a small O-ring around the battery compartment.

Toward the top of the handle, where it begins to narrow, is a silver band for no other reason than to look pretty. I have to admit, I am a fan of the rock and roll chic appeal but I prefer the other toys in the line ever-so-slightly. The head consists of a bright pink TPR that is squishy and velvety. There is a row of oblong bulges that encircle the top of the head. I guess the idea of texture is interesting but perhaps not as functional as Cal Exotics would have you think.

There is a single push button at the base of the rotating massager. One push starts the rotating, a second shifts direction and a third turns it off. Although there is supposed to be vibration in addition to rotation, I could only feel the motor straining inside the handle of the wand. The rotation itself is interesting. It sort of reminds me of the Sasi. It’s an interesting feeling that is somewhat akin to oral but, you know, not exactly. Of course, the problem with this function is that you cannot press the head of the massage against you without forcing the movement to stop. This may also be problematic for you if you’re fleshier. You’ll have to push your labia out of the way. It doesn’t lend itself well to pressure or intense stimulation. While I kind of like the idea, it’s just not enough to get me off.

In use, I really didn’t find the ability to switch direction was effective. Actually, it somewhat hurt to switch direction which makes very little sense. Regardless, a toy like the Sasi is more creative in terms of movement and overall, preferable. Another reason I prefer it is that I can turn off the movement of the ball, when I’m sufficiently aroused, and just use the vibration to get off.

You’ll definitely want to use lube to aid the rotation and keep things comfortable. The texture holds it well, perhaps too well. After I was done, I cringed as I had to scrub the lube out from the tiny crevices in the head of the Divine Inspiration Rotating Massager. I’d really like something a little less time-consuming when it comes to washing.

In fact, I’d have to say that, ultimately, this sex toy is more like an electric lube applicator than anything else.

CEN Sexpert

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Form 2

June 7th, 2011

Form 2
N/A from

Jimmyjane has since introduced the Form 2 Pro if you like to gamble.

Remember how whiny I was a while back about how I’d never tried a Jimmyjane vibrator? Yea, it wasn’t pleasant. Luckily, I have now had the opportunity. My experience has been a bit.. atypical, I think, so I have some interesting insights to share with you, dear reader.

Now, in case you forgot, the Form 2 is a rabbit-shaped vibrator, but it’s just the head with two ears that have separate motors. The ears, one would probably guess, are ideal for surrounding the clit or nipples or for passing on either side of the labia or.. an ear? Point is, while most people are going to head south with the Form 2, it does offer some versatility.. which is probably good because I really just don’t like it for clitoral stimulation. I tend to use toys in the general area of my clit, pressed to my pubic bone. It’s about pressure and indirect stimulation for me but it doesn’t get more direct than the Form 2–and it’s on both sides. AAAH! This totally negates the fact that the vibrations are shallow and buzzy, although concentrated.

My personal quirks aside, this just may be better suited to those of you who like direct stimulation from multiple angles. If you’re the type who can lay a vibe against your clit and eventually get off, more or less without any effort, maybe the Form 2 is for you. Unfortunately, I’m not you. My other personal complaint is that the ridiculous buzzyness of this vibrator quickly “numbs” me. Now, I don’t mean numb in the “woe is me, I used a vibrator and I’ll never get off from sex again” type way, so if you’re the anti-woman/masturbation/pleasure/intelligence type who believes that, STFU. No, I mean, that the vibrations are so shallow that my body literally cannot feel them after a while so I turn it up and up and up and eventually I’ve just spent half an hour with a toy that has absolutely not chance of getting me off and what am I doing?

I’m getting to know the toy for review, I guess. At least it’s easy to use. There’s a plus and minus button for controlling the vibration and another button with a squiggly line for moving between the different modes. Jimmyjane has included vibration and pulsation and describes them with an interesting infographic yet, because the buzzyness isn’t a good foundation for effective pulsation.

So I was all set to write this review and say, you know, this is an interesting toy and it seems made well enough, even if it didn’t produce the type of vibrations that I like.. When it turned itself on, vibrated itself right out of its charging base, fell on my bathroom floor and broke. Scared the crap out of my cats, too.

On the bright side, Jimmyjane was super quick about responding to my issue and sent me a replacement Form 2 STAT! I just returned the broken one via prepaid shipping today. I’m not having any issues with the new one. I’m a little hesitant to keep it in its charging base, should the same thing occur with my replacement, and also because the cats like to nom silicone, which happened with the Amor, too. Otherwise, I like the charging base. It’s convenient and the design uses a variety of flashing and steady lights to indicate charging and battery status. With the Form 2, you know exactly how much of a charge is left when you lift it from the base. That’s handy.

Because it uses a charging system with contact points–there’s a metal “disc” on the bottom of the toy that contacts the base–it’s waterproof. This makes cleaning super easy and you could take your Form 2 in the shower. That’s not generally my preference, as the water tends to make vibrations seem subdued.

Other points of note include:

  • Form 2 is fairly quiet. Not as quiet as Siri but acceptable enough.
  • The manufacturing seems pretty high quality. The toy feels solid, it’s pretty seamless.
  • The silicone collects dust and smudges like crazy. Arg.
  • A lot of people have complained about some sort of feature/glitch. I haven’t run into it because I don’t spend a lot of time with toys that aren’t going to get me off.
  • Although I’m hoping my specific issues were self-contained, it seemed like Jimmyjane vibrators–especially those in the Form lineup–just tend to be glitchy as all get out.

I guess we’ll have to see how I feel about Form 2 in the future.

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Mia Black

May 19th, 2011

Mia Black

Mia Black
N/A from

Lelo has since released the Mia 2, which you can buy for under $100.

Lelo has recently revved up the motor in their USB-charging, lipstick-style vibrator, and I figured I’d give it a go. I hadn’t ever given a lot of thought to lipstick vibrators until I recently tried to We-Vibe Tango and, as it turns out, I loved it. I decided it was time to feed my inner geek with another high-tech gadget. Generally, I put off writing reviews or even using my new toys for some time, but I was pretty excited this time around and gave Mia a whirl as soon as I could.

Charging was as easy as inserting the device into an open USB port. It sits there and could maybe pass for a flash drive or other USB adapter/dongle. Lelo also includes a few inches of USB extender cable if your setup doesn’t allow for the dongle-style charge. This is a pretty handy accessory in and of itself and I’ll probably steal it for use with my other hardware. The light on the Mia blinks during charge and turns solid when charging is complete. It may be that I wasn’t paying attention, but the charge didn’t seem to take long at all. The website claims you can get 1.5 hours of vibration out of a 1-hour charge.

When you’re not charging the Mia, you’ll want to replace the cap. Obviously, you can’t have the USB plug out in the open during playtime or for washing. The cap fits snugly but not so much that this toy is waterproof. It’s splash-proof enough for cleaning with soap and water, however. It’s angled in a way that really adds to the lipstick presentation. This adds discretion and aids portability. This is the type of sex toy that you could easily toss in your purse or bag.

Use is extremely easy. Lelo has created just two buttons, the standard + and -. Holding these simultaneously will lock or unlock the device, which is nice for travel and storage as well. The vibrations are buzzy, as I suspected, and located in the rounded tip of the Mia. The We-Vibe Tango definitely has this one beat. If the claims that this model is twice as strong as the original are true, I feel pity for anyone who had the original. The highest level of steady vibration that the Mia has to offer is probably around the medium setting of the Tango but feels less impressive because the vibrations are more shallow. The vibrations are deeper than a lot of the CEN toys that I’ve sampled, however. The pulsation settings are more effective because of this.

Still, I was surprised at how much I enjoyed Mia. Its cylindrical design was thin enough to slip between my lips and I could rest the vibrator in my panties while doing something else, such as reading erotica, for instance. Mia provides more acute stimulation than I usually go for but it still got me off, several times, and with varying degrees of satisfaction. Much of this is probably due to the amazing erotica that I was reading, but I quite liked the shape of this vibrator despite how different it is from my heart’s favorite, the Laya Spot, or something like Siri.

The noise level is quite minimal. In this area, Mia succeeds.

After my first use, I wiped Mia down with a cleansing wipe but I noticed some gunk had gotten under the cap around the charging area. I wouldn’t go overboard with lubes and would even be careful with this vibrator if you’re a squirter because of this. I haven’t had any issues with the cap coming off; it’s just not that seamless.

Like other Lelo toys, Mia comes with a satin storage bag. Unlike other toys, the box is much smaller because there is no need for space for the charging adapter. While I initially liked Lelo’s boxes because they added something extra to presentation, I quickly found them to be bulky and less functional than I realized in the beginning. Mia’s box is much shorter, so I might actually consider keeping Mia in the box.

I didn’t expect to like Mia as much as I do. I figured it would be novel–and it is–but it works, too. It’s probably not the most effective toy in my arsenal, but I can see myself reaching for it in the future.

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Vanity by Jopen #5

May 11th, 2011

This is an archived review of a discontinued item

Because I’ve already reviewed the Vr 6, I don’t want to rehash all the details. These two vibrators are quite similar, and you can read all the details here. The most important difference between the #5 and #6 vibrators in this line is the shape. #5 has a shorter clitoral arm (only .75″) that balloons out slightly and doesn’t angle toward the body like the arm on #6. In addition to this, the shaft bulges slightly, narrows, and bulges again. At the narrow point, there is a bit of flexibility, so you can angle just the head. The clitoral arm is also much more flexible than the arm on #6. The shaft retains about the same amount of length as #6 (4.25″), although #5 isn’t nearly as wide at any point. The widest point is a circumference of 1.25″ so it falls toward the smaller end of the spectrum. The head is slightly bulbous and more angular, for more precise G-spot stimulation instead of the broad pressure that #6 provides.

However, Vr5 is also a rechargeable rabbit vibrator, made of velvety fuchsia silicone. There are two motors that are controlled by separate buttons. California Exotics has used this button style before and I’ll remind you what I think about the way they function:

One push turns them on. Push and hold to increase intensity and push and release to turn it off. It’s similar to the Couture Collection wand I have. I can’t fault them because it works but I can say it kind of feels like they’re reinventing the wheel and that if you frequently use other toys that require you to push to get to the next setting, you may find yourself turning off the Jopen vibrators and this can be frustrating. Really, I like the style of the controls but I probably won’t be able to get used to them unless the entire sex toy industry adopts them.

Another difference is the location of the motors. In the Vr5, these vibrations are centered in the tip and mid-body, instead of directly in the clitoral stimulator. Thus, you get more internal stimulation with residual vibrations against the clitoris–if the clitoral arm even reaches yours. Unfortunately for me, that’s not really an option with the Vr5. Nevertheless, both vibrators I’ve had a chance to try have impressively strong and deep vibrations.

The claim is that this entire line is waterproof even though there’s no cover over the charging port, and it seems to remain open all the time. However, I’ve not had any issues with this and other reviewers have even submerged their Vanity by Jopen vibrators while turned on with no ill effects. Cleaning is a breeze, with soap and water; although the material does collect lint. You can minimize it by storing this in the Jopen pouch that comes with every toy in the line. It’s large enough for the charging adapter, but I found the bag so big it’s unwieldy. I wouldn’t mind something a wee bit smaller.

Sadly, I prefer the shaft design of the Vr5, even though I probably would have been more apt to pick the Vr6 as a customer. Unfortunately, the short clitoral arm would just never work for me.

CEN Sexpert

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Get up to 30% off at MysteryVibe

Love Bunnies

May 10th, 2011

This is an archived review of a discontinued item

Some bunny loves me.. but it’s not one of the Love Bunnies. I requested to review these tiny vibrators from Babeland because they’re absolutely adorable. I didn’t know if they’d get me off but tis the season for bunnies and bright colors and all that bollocks.

So the Love Bunnies come in a super colorful box. It’s reminiscent of a child’s toy and you may even want to keep it out of your kid’s line of sight because of the design. While fun, it’s sort orf confusing. To add to the fun, the package comes complete with an “Official Adoption Certificate.” Lovehoney’s packaging is amazingly detailed with this product and I almost want them to come out with actual children’s toys.

The colorful Love Bunnies vibrator sits in a plastic holder inside the box against a brightly colored backdrop. The bunnies themselves are pretty straightforward. A tiny bullet vibrator sits inside a bunny shape—complete with ears and tail. You have to uncap and remove a paper tab before you can use the Love Bunnies. There’s a single push button for the single speed. I found that it likes to stick, so sometimes I have to press it twice or more to actually get it to work.

Of course, as any watch battery-powered toy, the vibrations are both weak and buzzy. They’re the type that I quickly become “numb” to after a short period. That is to say, I literally cannot feel them after a few minutes. This is a shame because the roundness of the Love Bunnies actually stimulates me in a way that I find quite enjoyable. You may prefer to surround your clit, nipples or other sensitive parts with the ears but I like round shapes and pressure rather than pinpoint stimulation. The Love Bunnies actually provide both, unlike some other novelty vibrators (coughIRubMyduckiecough).

What disappointed me even more was that, as I used the Love Bunnies vibe for the very first time, the batteries died–maybe 20 minutes in. As these type of batteries can be difficult and pricey to obtain, that’s definitely a major drawback. I toss toys that require specialty batteries or suck them dry into a drawer, rarely to be touched again.

Washing up was easy enough, although I don’t know if these vibrators are supposed to be water—or splash-proof. There’s very little information in the packaging. As I began to type this, I didn’t even know what the Love Bunnies were made of—silicone, as it turns out—but this information is sneakily printed on the bottom of the box.

So while cute and silicone, easy to use, and packaged quite nicely, the Love Bunnies best get to hoppin’. They just don’t cut it.

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