Aurora Vibratror in Wine

May 8th, 2010

This is an archived review of a discontinued toy.

I like attractive toys. I like rechargeable toys. I like high-tech toys, and the Aurora vibrator definitely seems to be all of those. I couldn’t help but notice this sex toy with its sleek lines and flashing lights.

Let’s get down to it, shall we?

Aurora is a straight-shafted vibrator with an interesting shape. It’s not cylindrical like many insertables. Rather, it has three edges running the shaft length, making it something like a prism. The edges tape to a very gentle point at the end, whereas the prismatic shape continues at the base as well. Aurora’s shaft is made of silicone. It feels velvety but is quite rigid for most of the shaft (except for the very tip). This, in combination with the three edges, simply makes Aurora painful.

Every time I insert Aurora, I have to turn it so it doesn’t feel like it’s cutting through my flesh. That’s not an exaggeration at all. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, either, cause the buttons are downward-facing in use. So, if I turn them, they’re more upward facing and thus more accessible. It’s still annoying to have a vibrator hurt, however.

The buttons themselves are also very interesting. Aurora has a total of 3 buttons–two opposite facing arrows and a square button in between. The middle button serves as the power button which first turns on continuous vibrations. You can control the intensity with the arrow buttons. Strangely enough, the power button also switches modes. I didn’t realize this as first because it’s just odd but when you want to turn off Aurora, you simply press and hold this button.

The vibrations themselves may not be satisfying to all. Some modes seem to be a lot deeper, while others are ticklingly, high-pitched. Like the order of the modes, there seems to be no rhyme nor reason for this but I do prefer my vibrations deeper.

There are 10 total vibration modes; at least, the product description says that, but it’s really hard to tell. Even though each mode is represented by a different colour LED light at the base, I can’t tell what the order is. I have to press the square button a random amount of times (it has taken more than two dozen clicks to do this) to finally get back to the steady setting, which is a real bummer if you accidentally change settings. It’s ridiculous that it’s easier and quicker to turn off the toy to get back to the setting you want.

Assuming you find the mode you want, you can increase the intensity which I do like. There seem to be about 4 or 5 intensities for both continuous vibration and the pulsation modes. Because there are 9 pulsation modes, I’m not going to name them all. Suffice it to say that they all blend together after a while. The light indicators would be more useful if I could figure out the order of the modes and, also, if the toy curved upward. I just don’t use toys in a way that typically allows me to see the lights and, because of the painful edges, I usually have them turned away from me, anyway.

The lights are more helpful during charging, however. They indicate charging status. I believe the lights change color when charging, but the Aurora glows a steady blue when fully charged. The manual instructs that about 2.5 hours are needed to fully charge to provide an equivalent amount of use. It’s quite neat to look at against the black or dark red (wine) plastic of the base (this plastic also has tiny sparkles you can see) but I feel as though this feature is almost gratuitous, wasteful.

The base itself is pretty but gratuitous. The shape is all contemporary but does not allow Aurora to sit on a flat surface like a table which is something I like to see. Of course, it does stand upright in its base/charging dock. The dock itself is light and cheap feeling. Maybe that’s just par for the course with charging docks, though. There is no other storage option included with Aurora. It seems as though the height of the vibrator and charger might make it a bit more.. wobbly.

The vibrator itself is already quite tall at 9″, 6.5″ of which are insertable. It feels like much more to me. The awkward shape of the shaft negates my typical view of girth, too. Aurora is “only” 1.47″ in diameter at its widest, but the angles are still (painfully) felt. Definitely wouldn’t recommend this one to newcomers (if I were recommending it at all!). Plus, it doesn’t taper very much.

Either way, the shape is a bit boring. Carnivalesque reviewed Aurora and suggested a G-spot curve would be more pleasurable. I have to agree. This vibrator just doesn’t hit the right spots for me.

On an ending note, Aurora has two seams running up the shaft. One follows one of the edges while the other is in the middle of a flat part. They’re easy to see and feel with a finger. I didn’t especially notice them during use but it’s annoying.

And when it comes to noise, Aurora is fairly quiet. Not silent but quiet enough to use with the door closed and perhaps some white noise.

I would recommend soap and water for washing, but the manual doesn’t specify any care instructions except to “let dry in a shady area.” I certainly wouldn’t submerge this vibrator, either.

Aurora is another one of those toys that seems to be created by a graphic designer with no idea what makes a toy functional. It’s definitely frustrating for the user.

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G-Swirl Vibe

May 1st, 2010

This is an archived review of a discontinued toy.

The G-Swirl Vibe is the production of two trusted names in sex toys–Good Vibes and Fun Factory. This result is a toy with all of Fun Factory’s signature elements and Good Vibes branding.

G-Swirl comes in packaging that is Fun Factory style in function (magnetic flaps, et al.), but the design features Good Vibrations branding. The branding continues onto the vibrator itself, where the Good Vibes logo is embossed onto the silicone (this logo is below the clitoral numbers, though, not on the useable part).

G-Swirl is a smaller G-spot vibrator with a ring of nubs around the base of the shaft to stimulate the clit and/or perineum. Mine is a very light pink, which I don’t love, but Good Vibes sells G-Swirl in other colours, which are pretty neat; I personally like raspberry.

The silicone shaft is designed with several ridges and ends with an angled head to stimulate the G-spot. The shaft can be bent any which way and the nubs at the base offer give as well, typical of Fun Factory silicone. The silicone is more the shiny, “grabby” type than some FF toys, however. It definitely picks up lint or cat fur (not like my cats ever poke their noses where they don’t belong), and using water-based lube can aid in penetration. As you would expect, G-Swirl has no scent and, when cleaned properly, shouldn’t pick up scents. (If it does, many people swear by Before & After toy cleaner to remedy this issue.)

G-Swirl is a bit thicker than some G-spot vibrators and the texture can be easily felt. My vag tends to be pretty texture-picky, but the size and shape of the ridges on this one were pretty enjoyable. The base–which is the widest point–has a diameter of 1.6″. The area just beneath the head (the narrowest part) has a diameter of 1.35″, so you can see the shaft gradually increases.

G-Swirl is mostly straight and offers four insertable inches. This might not work for you if you require a longer or curved shaft to reach your G-spot. I found the combination of the small head with its slight angle and softness of the silicone didn’t adequately stimulate my G-spot. I can usually rest a toy against my G-spot and squirt in seconds but I just couldn’t get enough pressure from the G-Swirl.

G-Swirl is controlled by Fun Factory’s second-generation style flower/star dial (although the internet suggests that a third-generation Smartvibes version also exists). The dial “locks” into place at two settings: Off and High. You can “customize” your experience by using any setting in between. The G-Swirl is fairly powerful on its highest setting, pretty standard for a toy powered by 2AAs. The highest setting is also quite deep, not surface level at all. The shaft carries these vibrations quite well but the denser nubs around the base don’t really.

Which I don’t really think matters because the nubs only extend out from the base about 3.4″ at the most. Needless to say, they come nowhere close to my clitoris, and while the nubs curve upward (or body-ward, you might say), they don’t do so enough to really even stimulate the vaginal entrance.

I did notice that G-Swirl feels stronger in my hands than during use. It could be because the shape isn’t right on my G-spot, however.

Sometimes, the G-Swirl seems a little rattly, which adds to the noise output. Without the rattle, it’s actually pretty quiet. But it seems like the rattle comes and goes and is definitely more persistent on higher settings.

For those of you familiar with this style of Fun Factory vibes, the battery cap can be a little difficult to wrangle. There are two points that you must squeeze to pop it off the end, and it can be a little hard on the fingers.

However, it’s pretty secure, and G-Swirl is splashproof, which makes cleaning with soap and water (a must for toys that collect lint this easily) a breeze and shower play an option.

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Lussuria Rechargeable Vibrator

April 29th, 2010

This is an archived review of a discontinued toy.

By now, most of you have heard of the Vida vibrators, a new line of silicone+metal sex toys with fancy designs and an impressive site to boot. They’re working hard at PR, too, with a mysterious Twitter account and appearances with celebrities. They really want you to believe that these vibrators–Lussuria, Vanta, Zara, and Urja–are the new “it” thing, and I admit, I was drawn in, and in case you are too, here’s the low down.

Vida vibrators are made of silicone and anodized aluminum. The metal part does have a sort of plastic-y look, even in person, but a tap with a fingernail proves otherwise. It looks particularly rigid up close. In addition to this, my Vida Lussuria is quite the hefty piece, but I wouldn’t call it unwieldy because the weight is compacted into a 7″ frame, which isn’t bulky in the least.

Lussuria’s design is one that curves gently outward from a thin (.79″ diameter), straight shaft in the center to produce two bulbous ends. While the ends are thicker than the center point of the shaft, they are flat-ish. The side on which the control is positioned is significantly wider (just over 2″) than the other side, the head (which is about 1.5″ wide). The head itself is somewhat spoon or scoop-shaped; one side is convex while the other has a little “dimple.” The head angles slightly upward from the thinner part of the shaft while the base curves slightly downward for an extremely loose “S” shape.

On the convex side of the head, there are four silicone ridges. The ridges are mostly firm but not quite as rigid as the metal parts of the vibrator. These work well for G-spot stimulation, while the spoon side can cradle the clitoris. I don’t think I’ve seen any pictures yet that depict the dimple on the head, so I was pleasantly surprised when I opened Lussuria and wondered whether it would work well for clitoral stimulation.

It does. Lussuria has a functional design, which I really like. The ridges easily caused me to squirt, and I was surprised at the orgasms produced via the clit dimple. The overall design is easy to manipulate comfortably and with precision, too.

The shaft, head and last inch or so of the base are coated in silicone (the shinier, kinda “grabby” style) while the anodized aluminum surrounds the single button. There is also a pink stripe/lighted area, which follows the contours of the metal. This area has a lot of edges and seams, which are not very smooth or neat. I can see it collecting debris and the imperfections reduce the impression of quality IMO. There are especially some imperfections in the pink border which detract from an otherwise awesome colour scheme. At the very end, a small flap is cut out of the silicone; this flap plugs the charging port when Lussuria is not charging. While Lussuria is purportedly waterproof, this flap is not seamless, and I would not submerge it.

To turn on the vibrator, simply press the button once. A pale pink light around the button and the pink “border” part both light up. Pressing the button pages through 5 settings of steady vibrations and then back to the lowest. These vibrations are fairly strong but become much too buzzy as you increase strength. The button must be pressed and held to turn off Lussuria, but this will also turn it up 1 level higher, which is kind of annoying. If, for some reason, I needed to turn it off quickly, it would get louder before turning off.

Even if the vibrations didn’t become buzzier as they increased, I would never use this beyond the second or third setting because Lussuria is damned loud. I guess it’s because of the metal, but I think Vida should have come up with some noise solution before releasing these vibrators, and calling it “quiet” is simply a lie. The sound does not aid in discretion at all, and I am not fond of toys that hurt my ears.

I was a bit disappointed that Lussuria did not come with more information. More pages of the manual are dedicated to advertising other products than anything else. The instructions do say that the first full charge will take 3 hours, and subsequent charges will take 1 hour. I haven’t had to recharge my Lussuria yet, which is awesome, but I have no idea how long it will last, and I guess Vida doesn’t want customers to know, either.

Lussuria does come with a few interesting accessories. First and foremost, it has its own storage case, which Vida describes as a “faux leather vanity tote.” It looks a bit like a small train case with a handle on the top and a zipper around the front and sides. Vida sides into a foam cutout inside, and there is room to toss in the charger beneath the foam. If you remove the cutout, you could use the case to store a few more toys, too; it measures 4.5″ x 8.” x 3.” The Vida logo is embossed in black and red on the front, but I have to warn you, this “faux leather” stinks! I mean, the smell of it gives me a headache, and I don’t want that on my toy.

Luckily, Vida also provides a cushy, storage envelope made from microfiber. The design is unique: a rectangular cloth that folds in thirds and ties with a ribbon. Inside is an opening to tuck your Vida vibrator, but it’s not actually deep enough to hold Lussuria; it will stick out at  the end of the envelope. I suspect Vida made a one-size-fits-all storage pouch and failed. You don’t have to place the vibrator in the pouch, of course. You can simply fold it into the cloth and tie it up; it just fits.

The whole thing comes with a black gift-style bag, but mine was just folded and empty with the Vida box. I suspect that would work much better for in-person purchases. d=

Lussuria actually worked pretty well for me, but Vida needs to work out more kinks before they can call these toys “luxurious” and charge as much as they are for them. The idea of aluminum + silicone is neat, but a pure silicone vibrator wouldn’t be any worse. It also would have reduced the number of seams in the toy and, hopefully, the volume level. The train case and storage pouch are cute but do not offer the perfect storage option. I say skip the frills and lower the price; then we’ll talk.

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Zen Tranquility

April 16th, 2010

This is an archived review of a discontinued toy.

Zen Tranquility, a vibrator also known as Sabar Zen, is supposedly a designer vibrator by Michael Young. “Who?” you might ask. Well, I’d love to tell you but I don’t know. Some sources say he’s a watch designer, to which I say, “Good for you. Don’t quit your day job.” Actually, some sources call him Michael Yang, which is interesting. Perhaps because he is Hong Kong-based, who knows? Anyway, this contemporary vibrator is supposed to be some sort of affordable luxury but, for what it does, isn’t much of either.

The Zen Tranquility is made of hard, slick plastic. It’s really shiny, but, for some reason, I do not find it to seem very luxurious. Perhaps it’s the way that it smudges and picks up fingerprints like crazy, marring the otherwise reflecting surface. Perhaps it’s the cheap feel of the battery cap as it’s inserted and removed from the larger end with a click. Sometimes, it even turns on when I put the cap back on, and the controls won’t respond to turn it off. It just does not feel quality. Oh, that’s right, it’s another California Exotics toy. Not that I have anything against them, it’s just that they tend to slap famous names on their toys to make them sell but the designs are usually just as cheap.

I have to admit at first appearance, the Zen Tranquility looks pretty interesting. That’s part of the reason I selected it. The glossy plastic adds to the contemporary feel provided by the curves. This 6.5″ vibe curves slightly upward if resting on a flat surface. Each end is also curved, with the vibrator growing in thickness toward the end with the buttons. The smaller end has a diameter of slightly over 1″, while the larger end has a diameter of just under 1.6″.

The curve of the toy is gentle. It will work to stimulate some G-spots but not necessarily all. The tapered curve of the usable side provides pinpoint stimulation, and the vibrations are focused right there. This might make it a good choice if you like pinpoint clitoral stimulation, too.

There are long indentations along both sides, which are intended to be finger holds. However, they are only useful if you hold your hand in a certain position (resting atop the vibrator, the heel of your hand toward the buttons), and I do not. It’s like this toy was designed by someone who doesn’t understand the concept of ergonomics but wants to.

The vibrations are controlled by two buttons on the wider end. Technically, it’s one button, and you press either the + or – side to adjust it. The soft button is easy to press, and I haven’t had any issues with it not knowing which side I am pressing. However, it may be too easy to press and has turned on in my FYN Toybox a handful of times. The position of the controls makes them likely to be bumped. When powered on, this button glows red, which is handy.

There are several levels of continuous vibration and they flow together smoothly when adjusting. This might be good for someone who doesn’t like their vibration levels to be spaced too far apart, but it makes it difficult to tell exactly how many levels there are. There might be 8. Maybe.

Powered by 2 AAA batteries, the Zen Tranquility is decently powerful but no Hitachi. The vibrations are surprisingly deep on the lower levels but become more shallow as the level increases. I find this to be quite common with a lot of toys powered by AAAs. The higher settings do tickle my hand uncomfortably.

This vibrator is not especially quiet, detracting from its “luxury.” It won’t wake the dead, but it might be a dead giveaway to folks in the same room or home.

I don’t need much vibration to get off, but I just found the plastic to be both uncomfortable and unremarkable. There is absolutely no texture to speak of, and the gradual curve of the shaft can’t “hook” on anything. However, this means you don’t need a lot of lubrication for insertion. Frankly, I found the Zen Tranquility to be a bit, well, boring.

This vibrator does come with a storage pouch but it’s pretty cheap. It’s a stiff velour type and is only just longer and wider than the toy itself. When the bag is cinched closed, the Zen Tranquility is pretty snug. The cinch strings are about 1.75″ on either side of the opening which I find ridiculously short, too.

To put it bluntly, the Zen Tranquility is a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Once you look a little closer, the facade fades pretty quickly. It’s not a horrible vibrator but it’s definitely not worth $70. I’d happily pay about half that, maybe a little more. You can get some fairly comparable products (Magnifique by Natural Contours, for example) for even less than that.

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Zone Bliss Purple

April 10th, 2010

The Zone Bliss is a uniquely designed vibrator which automatically earns brownie points for a couple characteristics:

  • It looks like a rocket ship
  • It can be used hands free
  • The base is made of sturdy plastic while the insertable portion is a removable silicone sleeve
  • It’s surprisingly strong
  • The controls are super easy to use

But it falls short in several key ways:

  • The design blocks access to the clit (when used vaginally) unless it is turned so the buttons are unreachable
  • It’s too short for me to actually kneel over
  • The base is too large for me to sit on
  • The texture does not add stimulation
  • The shape is not ideal for storage

The design, although original, is straightforward. A cone shape points upward, resting upon tripod. As I mentioned, the base itself is plastic, and the cone is sheathed in a removable silicone sleeve. This makes cleaning a breeze; you can wipe down the plastic and wash the sleeve with soap and water or clean it with a bleach solution. I was worried about lubes or liquids finding their way beneath the sleeve but, thus far, it has not been a problem. It’s perfectly ‘sealed.’

However, this toy is far from problematic. From the initial insertion, I struggled to find any position in which I could use the Zone Bliss comfortably. I tried kneeling and sitting to no avail. I could not kneel low enough for even half insertion, and the hard plastic of the base pushed uncomfortably when I tried to sit. Some bodies might work better for this, and then, conceivably, the Zone Bliss could rest on an even surface (the legs all have little rubber feet on them, which also dampens the noise of it vibrating against the surface). I bet this would work better in a kneeling position over a firm-ish pillow (perhaps one of the Liberator shapes).

I could use it a little more successfully on my back, with legs up. I was also able to achieve full insertion with this method, but even with the Zone Bliss fully inserted, I experienced more issues.

The two buttons to control this vibrator are on one of the legs. To reach the buttons, I situate this leg so it’s in front of me, but then it blocks access to my clit, and the side legs fight for position where my thighs are. So I can rotate the toy so that no legs are directly in front of me, but then the buttons are not really accessible. It seems to me that it would make more sense to put the buttons on the bottom.

Other than that, the soft plastic buttons are decently sized and easy to find because they’re thick. One turns the toy on and cycles upward while the other turns it off. That’s all it does: turns it off. I wish this button cycled downward, too. There are three speeds of steady vibration, which are a little buzzier than I’d like but surprisingly strong. Then again, it better be for a power source of 3 AAs. In fact, I think I’d like to see more vibrators require the extra battery. Then there are multiple pulsation modes:

  • Short-short-long pulse
  • short repeating pulses
  • This short escalating pulse thing
  • Escalation

After escalation, the steady vibration continues again instead of the toy shutting off. It’s kind of confusing. As you can guess, this toy is not the quietest I have ever owned. Most of the base seems to be hollow plastic, so the vibrations sort of reverberate through it. It’s quieter than it would be when resting on a hard surface because of the rubber feet, but this one just might be heard through a closed door.

If I could find a comfortable position, I might like the way the Zone Bliss feels inserted. I could not detect the embossed “chevron” shapes, but the short, squat shaft was appropriate filling for me without being horrendously long. It stimulated my G-spot, but it is short enough – 3.5″ – and lacks the curve that many women need for G-spot stim. Even if it weren’t a bit of a hassle, I could not recommend this toy to newbies or women who like smaller toys. At the base, the shaft has a diameter of 2″. It does taper slightly toward the tip, but much of the shaft remains around 1.5″ in diameter.

In case you were wondering, this vibe is not meant to be submerged. The battery pack clicks in and out like most remotes, so it’s definitely not waterproof.

The Zone Bliss has a lot of depth, too, which means it cannot be stored just anywhere. Your best bets are in a drawer, on a shelf, or in a deep box. I would not store it in any sort of bag. The Zone Bliss also arrives in a rather large, cylindrical plastic container, which is not at all practical for storage unless you collect unique-looking “hat boxes.”

The Zone Bliss is really the sort of toy that is best for people who like to have novelty toys but don’t necessarily mind if those toys are not all that practical.

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Lelo Lily

April 6th, 2010

Lily

Lily
N/A from

Lelo is now on the Lily 3, which you can buy here.

Now, I have never had one of those hot stone massages, but I’ve seen pictures or maybe seen it in the movies, and the Lily by Lelo absolutely reminds me of those small, ergonomic stones. Except this tiny vibrator is designed to caress your most intimate parts while in the palm of your hand, not to do whatever it is that hot stone massage actually does. The black version, which I bought, does remind me quite a bit of a small stone. Granted, Lily is much lighter than any stone would be.

Lily is my first vibratory purchase from Lelo. I had admired it for quite some time but the complaints of low power turned me off. Still, I could not distract myself from a vibe that might work perfectly during sex.

Lily does not come charged, and because I like to use toys right away, I was a bit miffed to have to break out the charger, which sits beneath the tray. Charging was easy; there was an indicator light on the charger itself, and the buttons on Lily flash during charge. The manual indicates that Lily should not be charged for more than 24 hours, and the charge should last up to 2 hours. I took a quick look through the user manual, but Lily is incredibly easy to operate, so it’s probably not necessary.

Right out of the box, I was surprised by Lily’s size. It is only 3″ long and 2″ wide, so it easily fits in the smallest of hands. The Lily is displayed in the box so the side with the buttons faces up. There are two soft, plastic buttons: one button turns on/up the vibrations while the other turns them down/off. When the Lily is charged, the buttons will be ringed with white light. This light turns red when the vibrator needs charging. I like that the buttons are just shy of finger width which makes them easy to find and press.

Below the buttons, the world “Lelo” is embossed. Further down, on the rounded edge is the charger port. This port seems incredibly large to me so I always make sure to cover it when washing (although, a wipe or damp cloth is probably smarter than using soap and water). It would be nice if there were some cover over this port, however.

The exterior of Lily is plastic, which feels almost silky. The appearance is matte as opposed to Nea, a similar vibe that is slick, shiny plastic. I chose Lily specifically for that reason (added friction) but might have been better off choosing Nea.

Lily’s shape reminds me something of a giant bean. The back, which will sit in the palm of the hand, curves softly, while the front is more angular. The functional end comes to more of a point than the curved end where the port is, and Lily’s lines are sleek and contemporary. In use, I can hold Lily so that my thumb can reach both buttons, but the most comfortable and functional way for me to hold it actually prevents me from reaching the buttons. In addition, if Lily is cupping my mons, this completely blocks button access unless I angle it up and away from my body. This seems especially problematic when you consider how many people use vibrators like these during sex. In missionary position, with Lily between two partners, it would be difficult to push the buttons. Otherwise, Lily is only about 1/2″ thick, which makes it pretty unobtrusive during sex.

Lily’s curved shape is generally body-friendly, but I think it would be friendlier to a less fleshy body than mine. If I simply lay it over my mons, Lily will barely graze my clit. I have to apply pressure for it to fit more comfortably between my labia. I am not super fond of pointed toys, generally preferring a broad surface that I can use to stimulate my pubic bone area as opposed to simply my clit. If you like pointed toys, however, Lily might be right up your alley. Quick, wrist movements can somewhat imitate oral sex; however, this leaves me incredibly sore. So sore, in fact, that my arm muscles will hurt the next day.

Once I got the Lily situated and started playing with the vibrations, I was quickly accosted by a high-pitched whine from the motor. As I understand it, this is pretty common for digital motors but, FUCK! it’s annoying. I feel like I now know what it feels like when dogs hear noises people cannot. Aside from that, Lily only ever operates at a low hum, even on the highest setting. You might even get away with using it in the same room as someone else!

Lily does not have an amazing amount of power. The high-pitched vibrations match the high-pitched whine quite well and are entirely focused on the pointed end (another plus for pinpoint lovers). There seem to be multiple levels of continuous vibration (around 7), but they’re so close together that it’s hard to tell. There are also additional pulsation and escalation modes. For the most part, these modes lack the oomph of stronger toys. Lily is definitely best for sensitive clits or warm-up.

One of the nice functions of Lily is that it can be locked when not in use by simultaneously pressing both buttons for 5 seconds. However, I think it might be far more practical to be able to lock it during use because it’s small enough that my fingers struggle for purchase. Still, when Lily is locked and in its storage bag, it’s pretty easy to hide or even travel with.

Lily is incredibly well crafted, without a doubt. Yet, the size and strength of vibrations are not as rewarding to me as the more affordable Layaspot. I cannot honestly see myself reaching for this one frequently – a shame, considering how much I spent on it.

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Electric Infrared Massager

April 3rd, 2010

This toy is no longer available, but you can buy an infrared massager like this.

I have a secret. It’s not really that much of a secret, actually. Some like it hot but.. I don’t. Not really. I am not a big fan of heat. I keep my AC on all the time. I hate to sweat. I spend too much time inside on hot summer days because I cannot handle the sun. So I have strayed from heating products. It has been years since I’ve used a heating lube that was not a part of some “his and hers” set. I have never tried warm temperature play. It just didn’t seem appealing. So it was really a bit out of character when I decided to try the Electric Infrared Massager (available at the Adult Toy Shoppe) but sometimes the character we have come to be isn’t the character we should always be, right?

The Electric Infrared Massager comes in a giant blister pack with a tacky insert along with five different attachments for the vibrating side. This massager measures just shy of a foot at 11″, and the handle alone has a circumference of nearly 2″. The actual head has a diameter of 3.5″. The attachments all vary in size and shape but none are larger than the heating element.

The handle itself is about 8″ long and while the length does help offset the weight of the head, it’s still a bit unwieldy. The controls on the Electric Infrared Massager are located on the upper half of the handle, toward the shaft and consist of a single button that slides between the Off, Lo and Hi settings. The button does not slide as smoothly as I would like. Perhaps it is because my hands are small, but I find myself grasping the massager toward the other end of the handle (where it is thinner), and I cannot reach the button without actually moving my hand. I would personally like to see the button moved down and the handle thinner or shortened 2 – 3 inches.

For the most part, the massager is encased in a hard plastic which is metallic red in appearance. The lower half of the shaft is textured, which makes it easier to grasp, and there are a few “details” in black plastic (like the area around the button, which is labeled). This massager has a “flexible” neck which is made of accordion-like plastic. However, the flexibility is limited to maybe 10-15 degrees either way, even with an effort to put pressure on it. I would have preferred a truly flexible head like the one on the Miracle Massager.

The head is mostly spherical, with one side providing the heating stimulation while attachments push on to the other. The heating element side is round, and the element seems to be encased in a dark but translucent plastic. When the element is on, it can be seen glowing red through the plastic. The rounded design is broad but not entirely seamless. This end won’t be inserted, but it can still collect some gunk.

The other side of the head is flattened with a stout post in the center. Each attachment has a round neck, which just fits over this post. Attachments do not lock or click into place; they just fit snugly. There are two small holes in the connecting post, so perhaps the attachments should use a bit of suction as well. The attachments are not difficult to apply or remove, however.

One might think that the attachments themselves have something to do with the heating characteristics of this vibrator but it’s not the case. The attachment side has no heating effect. On the other hand, the rounded, heating side does transmit some of the vibrations because they are focused in the head.

My biggest problem with this vibrator is that the functions are dependent. If you turn it on low vibrations, it will turn on high heat and vice versa. I see no reason why the heating element should be on when you use attachments (because it won’t be touching you anyway). Furthermore, it always felt like the heat was on high when the vibrations were also on high, but this could be due to the massager heating up because of the vibrations. I would have preferred to turn the vibrations on low and the heat on high, rather than what it actually does.

Like many electric vibrators, this one is pretty strong. Maybe not the strongest ever, but it beats out any battery-operated toy I own. The lower setting is definitely deeper and more rumbly; the high setting sometimes is too high pitched for me and causes me to tickle uncomfortable. Surprisingly enough, the Electric Infrared Massager is not super loud. I don’t think it could be heard through a closed door (I couldn’t but my AC is a little loud).

I was not blown away by any of the attachments. I first tried the rounded foam attachment, which was okay but didn’t transmit the vibrations amazingly. Also, I have no idea how sanitary the hard foam really is. In fact, all of the softer attachments are of some mystery material. Perhaps a soft rubber or TPR, but I have no idea what the packaging doesn’t say. I assume the hard attachments are plastic, but I could be wrong.

The single cone attachment will probably work well for folks who like pinpoint stimulation; although, I don’t. I thought the double cone attachment might surround my clit, but, in reality, the points were too far away to hug it nicely. The “tickler” and “wide bumped” heads are both as wide as the entire hide, which makes them really bulky for clit stimulation. I guess my crotch is just not that wide. LOL However, I think that both of those attachments would work nicely for a body massage. Ultimately, I think this design is much better suited for actual massage than sexual stimulation.

I did enjoy the infrared heat, though. It doesn’t get too hot at all. Rather, it sort of feels the way the sun feels on your skin on a comfortable day, just warming you slightly. In fact, I prefer the warmth of the high setting. The reminiscence of a nice day actually makes me feel serene and the heat makes me super aware of the area it is on; I would assume it is drawing blood to the area. However, the head is still quite bulky for use in intimate areas.

The cord is fairly long, about 6′. I can easily use it on my bed because there is an outlet a few feet away, but it’s not something that could be easily used outside, in a vehicle, et cetera, at least, not without an extension cord. Of course, because this is a corded toy, it is not waterproof and should stay far away from the bathroom or pool. Cleaning would best be done with a damp cloth or toy wipe, not running water.

I didn’t know how much I could like heat until I tried the Electric Infrared Massager. However, I feel it would be a better investment if it were fine-tuned so that the settings can be used independently and the controls are easier to reach.

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