No Sexless Marriage For Me, Thank You

February 5th, 2009

I’m watching Extreme Makeover (a rerun, of course) and one of the participants is a woman who has commented how her sex life has deteriorated because she has no confidence. I just cannot imagine that. Sure, I don’t always like the way I look but as long as I don’t have to stare at myself in a mirror the entire time (or for any time, really), then I am fine.

I simply cannot imagine not being intimate with my husband. Even when I don’t love it all the time, I want to have sex with him. Being sexual gives me more confidence and makes me feel more beautiful. That anyone could let this happen just shocks me.

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Respect, and how not to earn it

February 1st, 2009

A while ago (months, I guess) I became a member of TooTimid’s forums. I had found the site a while back when looking for sites which use sex toy reviewers (I applied, twice, and heard nothing back). I took a bit to get around to joining the forums and I found a fairly active community which was sex positive if not as contemporary as some. I enjoyed it, nonetheless.

After joining, I put my blog URL in my signature. I soon received a private message from the person who I assume is the site owner which said I could not have the link in my signature but it would remain in my profile. I was fine with this.

Recently, I went to update sometihng else my profile and realized my URL had been removed; I can only assume this happened back when I first joined and I had not realized it. I updated my information, added my URL back in and soon received another private message. The owner (again, my assumption) thanked me for being an active part of the community but said I could not have the URL in my profile and hoped I understood.

I did not and I very politely responded as such. I did not see why I could not link to my personal blog in my profile and, if he did not want that happening, he should edit the profile fields so it could not be entered. If he was worried about competition, I recommended increasing Too Timid’s reach and reputation as an online sex shop and community rather than being paranoid about personal blogs. I strongly suggested they reconsider what I think of as a ridiculous policy. I heard no response.

In fact, I have been suspended, without notification until “Dec 27 4746, 08:14 AM.” I can only assume that, by this time, I will be dead and Too Timid will be long gone as well. In fact, I doubt any humans will remain but I digress.

Rather than being mature, the powers that be chose to suspend an active and helpful member. I joined despite the fact that they ignored my requests to be a reviewer and gave my input to other members, helping them as I could. All I asked was to fill out a field in my profile which was, for lack of a better term, fill-outable.

This suspension really shows TooTimid’s true colours. This is not a company or site which supports community, in my mind. This is not how you spread the word of your company and make yourself viewed as a team player. This is not how you boost your reputation. No, this is how you alienate those who have the power to spread the word about your site (which TooTimid does seem to need; it’s not very well known despite the fact that it seems to have an active community and resources on its site). This is how you show that you are so insecure about what you’re selling that you must try to censor the mere mention of potential competition.

In fact, rather than ask how I think TooTimid might strengthen its public appearance or to do a link exchange, I was essentially banned without valid reason. It seems to me that not allowing for constructive criticism gets you nowhere fast. I can name quite a few historical figures who saw defeat because of this tactic.

Shortly before this happened, I was contacted by TooTimid on Twitter to be a reviewer (but no follow-up contact was made). I know I was not the only one. I had thought it was a step in the direction of community-mindedness. However, after this, I must caution anyone who might choose to review for or affiliate with Too Timid in any fashion. If this is how they treat an active community member, I am not sure how they would treat anyone else. If they is how they deal with a nonserious issue, I wonder what approach they will take with serious issues customers, reviewers and community members may have.

I cannot say the same for TooTimid, and while I also cannot force anyone to decline an opportunity (nor would I think any less of anyone who does review with them), I can warn that TooTimid has a long way to go before they are a company I can respect.

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Woe is me!

January 28th, 2009

Feel free to pity me when you read my review of the Senso 6 Pak. I know I do.

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Interview Me!

January 15th, 2009

Sienna had posted this neat little meme on her blog. She was interview by Beautiful Dreamer and I requested an interview as well. So here are her wonderful questions and my responses to them, followed by a more detailed explanation of the process.

You have some really interesting articles on sex. How do you come up with your topics, and are you currently working on another one? Well, my thought process in relation to anything pretty much goes something like this “Can I somehow use this event/subject/thoughts in one of my blogs? If so, how?” I am always looking for blog fodder and blogging is a pretty active activity for me. A few of my articles have been inspired by friends or questions asked of me. Others are simply things I have been thinking about. In the case of the sex toy materials guide, I was curious and used it as a way to become more knowledgeable myself as well as provide a comprehensive guide. I have a few articles which I have started and saved because I just wasn’t feeling them enough at the time to finish. I eventually will go back to them when the timing is right, whenever that will be.


You say you are fuelled by your emotions and ‘knee jerk reactions.’ Has there been a time when this has led to trouble? To something good?
When it comes to my relationship, this tends to be consistently negative. I sometimes react before thinking and I am trying to curb that behaviour which can be destructive. I think that I can be more empathetic toward others, however.

Your site is great! When did you start learning about web design? Thanks a lot. I have had websites for nearly 10 years now. I’m still always learning something new.


How do you deal with the different aspects of your life? Your online and your real life identity?
When I started this blog, I wanted to be blunt and honest but I didn’t want certain friends or my family knowing so I adopted a pen name. I strive to avoid any permanent and obvious connections between my every day identity and this one, especially because my “main” online identity is pretty established and it’s easy for anyone to find me by name.

The problem with being active in any sort of online community is that it takes time and effort and I am often struggling not to neglect each of those communities. I currently have 3 blogs, including, this one, which I update on a frequent basis (several times per week), 2 Twitter accounts (TwitterFox is a godsend!) and post in dozens of forums of different natures. It’s just a matter of prioritizing, I suppose but sometimes I realize my time isn’t balanced enough and I feel like I have to play “catch up.”

Interestingly enough, I have invited several friends, both online and off, to visit this blog and some are even active readers and commentors. However, there are simply some people who don’t need to see this.
Your reviews are great! What’s something you’re looking forward to reviewing? Why? Thank you! I currently have a few toys waiting to be reviewed which are firsts: an anal plug, frozen lube cubes, and a storage box. I also tried out my first massage candle which was a big hit. Lately I’ve been wanting to branch out from the vibrators which I typically review so I am just excited to review new things.

Make sure to post this below your answers!

Want to be part of it? Follow these instructions:
1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

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Simply the Best

January 10th, 2009

I’ve had a rather crappy day but you know what would make me feel better? If someone were kind enough to nominate me as one of the Best Sex Toy Reviewers of 2008 on the Pleasurists blog! Head over there to see the guidelines for this contest and submit your nomination(s), even if it isn’t for me!

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It was the best of times, it was the worst of times

December 31st, 2008

To answer my own question, I’ve definitely had some hits and misses sex toy-wise this year. The Passion Wave and 24 Karat Gold Double Happiness were both hits in the sex toy department. I enjoyed the naughty tales in Five Minute Erotica as well as licking Raspberry Honey Dust off my partner. Shaving has become infinitely easier since I invested in some Coochy Cream as well.

However, there were some bumps along the way. Durex’s Play Vibrating Cock ring was disappointing, to say the least, and I expected a bit more from the Luna Beads (although it wasn’t a complete loss). I tried my first hands-free vibrator, the Venus Butterfly, to less than exciting results. Although I had heard good things about Wet Light lubricant, it just wasn’t up to par. Lastly, the Mini G Rock was an interesting but poorly designed toy that did nothing for my sexual satisfaction.

I’ve had a good year so far, and considering I just got into this reviewing thing, I only see next year topping it! I’d like to thank all the wonderful shops, including Babeland, GoodVibes, and Tabutoys, that supplied me with the toys (both good and bad) in return for my reviews.

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It’s that time of year..

December 30th, 2008

You know, the end of the year. So, why not some time for reminiscing?

What were your best and least toys (and toy experiences) this year?

Care to tell us about your best and worst sexual experiences?

Any other best and worsts that really stuck with it?

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