Sex Tarts Tangy Lube Sampler Set

September 10th, 2009

Sex Tarts Tangy Lube Sampler Set

Sex Tarts Tangy Lube Sampler Set
N/A from

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

When it comes to flavored lubes, Sex Tarts is a pretty common/popular brand and is readily available, so I thought it would make a good brand to review for TabuToys. I decided on the Tangy Lube Sampler set for a couple of reasons, mostly because I wanted to try more than one flavor but also to have a backup just in case I didn’t like what I tasted.

This set includes 1 2 fl. ounce flip top, squeeze tube each of Green Apple Fizz, Strawberry Punch and Cherry Pop lubes – all of which are flavours I generally like. The tubes are bright green, a medium orangey red, and a dark pinkish red, respectively. In the event that you are not down with size, these are much bigger than sample packets, and the “sampler set” might actually be a bit misleading unless you drink flavored lube for breakfast. There’s really a fair amount of product in this set; there’s also more than enough plastic. The 3 bottles are packed in a plastic container as well, and it’s really big. Upon opening the package it came in, I really thought it was wasteful both in space and materials.

Packaging aside, I gave each lube a taste/smell test. Immediately, Cherry Pop smelled most true to life, with Strawberry Punch Coming in second. The Green Apple Fuzz didn’t have much of a scent at all, maybe a sort of generic sweet scent. I found the same to be true about taste. Cherry Pop came in first being the most true to life. Strawberry Punch had a very strong, sweet, and tangy flavor but tasted more like strawberry flavoring than the actual fruit. Green Apple Fizz came up short, being generically sweet and rather unlike anything apple. My husband and I both noticed that the tastes and smells seemed to be covering up something else. I thought it was sort of Nutrisweet-y, but he thought it was more reminiscent of lube or even plastic. In his words, no matter how much the tastes covered it up, “It’s still lube”.

Lucky for him, I seem to have less of an aversion to it and was more than happy to glob some on his cock for the sake of review. While I enjoy giving him pleasure, oral sex is generally pretty uncomfortable for me physically. I don’t need lube for oral sex – although some folks with dryer mouths might – but I figured flavored lube might distract me from my discomfort. I was sort of right.

For starters, this water-based lube was pretty damned thin and came squirting out of the tube like it had a mission. I wound up with way more in my hand than I meant and forgot I had tissues on the nightstand, so I wound up wiping it all over my husband’s thigh. 😉 A smaller hole would easily fix that, however. I also noticed how sticky it was immediately. My hair was constantly sticking to my mouth or his cock, and while it can sometimes be a nuisance, it was generally more so because of the lube. It was also quite sticky for giving oral sex and impeded my efforts a bit. I guess it’s a good thing that it was quickly whisked away by my tongue and mouth, allowing for my saliva to create a better environment. On the other hand, if you want long lasting taste, this is not the product.

I am glad to report, however, that Sex Tarts lube does a good job of masking the smell and taste of ejaculate (as long as there’s still some left). If you’re not a big fan of either characteristic of a certain man seed, this might making giving oral easier for you.

Though, the taste was better on him than straight from the bottle. I did enjoy licking it up and it did make it a bit more fun. I felt more eager than I sometimes am to give head. But this was easily negated by the stickiness of the Sex Tarts lube.

Although you could technically use this lube for penetrative sex, and it is latex-safe, I wouldn’t. Even if you love sticky lubes (but, really, who does?), Sex Tarts does contain parabens and glycerin, which can be problematic for some vaginas. Interestingly enough, the Cherry Pop and Green Apple lubes have “sugar free” labels on them. I’m not sure if this means Strawberry Punch does contain sugar because the ingredients are nearly the same for all 3 bottles.

They all contain:

  • Water
  • Glycerin
  • Propylene Glycol
  • Sucralose
  • Flavor
  • Methylparaben
  • Propylparaben
  • Diazolidinyl Urea

Cherry Pop and Green Apple also contain Hydroxypropyl Methylcellulose and Citric Acid, while The Strawberry Punch is the only lube that has Cellulose Gum- which I guess is the sugar. This definitely isn’t a lube for vaginal use for anyone who is sensitive to any of those ingredients and I honestly wouldn’t really want to use it clitorally, either.

Ultimately, I wasn’t thrilled with the Sex Tarts Tangy Lube Sampler Set. Although it isn’t the worst product I’ve ever tried, it wouldn’t hurt if it tasted a bit better, wasn’t so sticky, didn’t gush from the tube, and had more body-friendly materials. While I might recommend the sampler for someone as a starting point, I will probably be looking for better-flavoured lube next time.

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What I like in Reviews

September 8th, 2009

If you’ve read more than one of my own reviews, you’ve probably come to realize me for the Incredibly Picky Bitch™ that I am. Some people appreciate it because they know I don’t give a passing grade to mediocre products. Other probably wish I didn’t nitpick their reviews quite so much to which I could say “STFU” or “Take it like a man”. Or, maybe I could direct them to this post which explains what I find helpful in reviews.

Background/Extra Information

I like to read a little extra information about manufacturers. I recall reading a review on EdenFantasys where the reviewer mentioned that Sinvention, is based out of a gothic church in Canada. Interesting? Yep. I also like when reviewers discuss the credentials of book authors, especially on topics like BDSM. Furthermore, knowing that a toy is made especially for body part X because of reason Y is great.

What I don’t like? A two-page essay on the history of the company. The review is of a product, not a company or perosn.

Size Description

It can be easy to leave out size but this is pretty essential information. It can be in inches/CM measurements or described in terms of a universal object (I used a soda can for reference in my Oil of Love Review) or, preferably, both. This is also important when it comes to lingerie/wearable items. I view anything from American size 12 on up as plus size (mostly because of my own body issues, honestly) but not everyone does. Your definition of “curvy but not fat” and mine may differ greatly.

What I don’t like? Measuring every single aspect of the toy. I don’t need a spreadsheet. Nor do you need to add pictures with a ruler.

Necessary Experience

Sexuality and sex toys are somewhat sensitive subjects, and if you can’t be that vulnerable, you may want to reconsider whether you should really write a review. Similarly, if you can’t explain why you liked a toy or offer any specifics, it’s best to leave the review writing to someone else.

So what do I consider necessary experience? It’s helpful to know if you couldn’t insert a toy without lube or maybe not at all as was the case with the large Passion Wave vibrator. If something broke or caused irritation, it’s also good to note. Remember Uma? My god, was it hard to use! Whenever a toy uses unique controls, like the Vanity line did at the time, explaining your experience is helpful. When something frustrates you — or even when it makes more sense to you — others will find that helpful! If you find yourself consciously trying to arouse the reader, you’re doing it wrong.

What I don’t like? Poorly written “erotica”.

Whether or not it got you off

This can be tricky. It’s good to know if the toy did it for you (if it’s applicable), but it shouldn’t be the focus of your review. I’ve rated toys poorly even when they did get me off because of poor quality or just because it didn’t do it well. On the other hand, I’ve given good reviews to items that didn’t get me off but were well-made and enjoyable in general.

What I don’t like? Reviews that are exceptionally positive (hyper excited) and fail to give other, essential information because the author got off from the toy. And poorly written erotica.

Basic Information

If a review doesn’t include more information than a production description or teaser video, it could be more useful. It’s essential to let us know what the toy is intended for and if you used it otherwise (and that can be a great thing!). Colour, shape, scent, size (as previously mentioned), material (including texture, density, firmness, etc), and functions are all important. I can’t even name how many rabbit reviews I’ve read that didn’t specify what exactly the shaft did. Feel free to suggest alternative uses.

What I don’t like? Reviews that assume you’re familiar with the product.

Significant Packaging Information

I don’t care what you said to your mailman or how long you waited at the door. I suspect no reader really does, honestly. I’ve got 65 pages of reviews, and including this information in every room would take up reading and writing time that could be better spent elsewhere. There is more than enough to say to meet your word count while only talking about the product itself.

Similarly, I assume everything is discreetly packaged as is the norm and only need to know if that’s not the case. For example, some lingerie has shown up in less-than-discreet packages, and both California Exotics and Pipedream add their actual company name to the shipping label.  I do care if the individual product package was so poor that the toy fell out/spilled or, even worse, was damaged during shipping. It’s also worth noting when shitty companies shove everything they can into flimsy envelopes.

What I don’t like? The play-by-play of ordering and delivery.

Did you notice that I didn’t mention photos? I know we’re on the visual Internet now, and I truly try to take the best photographs that I possibly can. Yet, I find the written word to be the meat and potatoes of a review, as it were. And I think the right words can eliminate the need for visuals… even if some people disagree.

If you cover everything above, your review can really only be useful to the masses. Doing so and adding your own bit of flare, perhaps humour, will help make your reviews more memorable.

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Oil of Love – Raspberry Kiss

September 4th, 2009

Oil of Love - Raspberry Kiss

Oil of Love - Raspberry Kiss
$12.36 from Amazon

What can I say about Kama Sutra products that hasn’t already been said? Their name is synonymous with sensuality and products are known for quality. So to say I was expecting an awesome product with their Oil of Love is an understatement, especially considering that I have literally wanted the product for years. It was one of the very first products I considered buying when my husband and I wanted to try new things with our sex life. I’m glad I finally tried the Oil of Love, even if it took years for me to do so and I can say without hesitation that this is one of the few products that is better than I expected.

Like other Kama Sutra products, the Oil of Love came in the green/gold tin, slightly smaller than a soda can, with a black cap. This tin was also in an open-ended plastic bag, but, unfortunately, neither of those was sealed as the cap had popped off and was floating loose in the box. Inside the tin was the glass jar containing the oil, which is corked shut and sealed with plastic. Despite the seal, the bottle did feel slippery, as though it had oil on it already. I gave it a wipe-down before opening it to ensure the bottle wouldn’t slip out of my hands and break or spill all over. The only adornment on the bottle is a stick/band that goes around it with a floral motif and the Kama Sutra logo/Oil of Love label on the front. What you mostly see is a gorgeous dark fuchsia color of the oil itself, and while it might be a bit more purple than I would expect for something raspberry, it’s gorgeous to look through the liquid.

After breaking the seal and popping the cork (which doesn’t require anything near the strength of a wine bottle, thankfully), the scent isn’t immediately noticeable. Overall, I found the scent to be light and refreshing, never overpowering. The scent becomes discernible after a bit of friction by either rubbing the oil in my hands or on another body part. It was also much more noticeable to me as a massage giver than receiver, probably because I kept leaning forward to kiss and lick my husband’s back. As the receiver, I was a little disappointed that I could not smell it better, though.

Unfortunately, I have to say that this smells nothing at all like a kiss of raspberry as the scent – Raspberry Kiss – would suggest. It smells wonderful and sweet but not berry-like in the least. In fact, I think a perfect suggestion for this scent would be vanilla cotton candy and my husband agrees. It’s a great scent, just misleading.

So I mentioned the kissing and licking, yes? It’s because the Oil of Love is also flavoured! The Oil of Love have a sweet flavour that is reminiscent and very complimentary to it’s scent (in this case, vanilla cotton candy), to provide that much more experience. Really, it almost tastes like candy and I have half a mind to drink the bottle, but won’t.

But that’s not all!

It also warms upon blowing which just adds another element of excitement to your massage. I don’t think this property was as noticeable to my husband or myself as the receiver, but I definitely noticed the heat on my mouth/face when I leaned down to blow. This could just be because our backs are not as sensitive, and I know that the fan was on during my massage, so it may have been a little counterproductive. Kissing and licking also seemed to activate the heat so that’s another plus.

We’re not into giving really long massages, and you probably won’t get hours out of one application of the Oil of Love as it is a bit thicker/heavier (that is, if you don’t lick it all off first). I probably massaged between 10 and 20 minutes with one application, and it definitely made it easier to manipulate my husband’s skin. When it was my turn, it also improved his – usually awful – technique and helped him to not be so rough (although I’m still training him). It did get a bit sticky on my hands toward the end but we were both able to dress without feeling the need to wash off the oil from our skins.

I found that it really doesn’t work very well for hand jobs. It becomes too sticky for the quick motions and works much better for a luxurious massage. While the tin states that this product is latex-safe (because it’s water and not oil-based as one might think(, it also warns not to use it internally, so I would shy away from using it as actual lube.

You’ll be relieved to know that Oil of Love is non-staining, too, because, no matter how hard I try, I am a messy person. After massage time was over, I noticed pinky spots on the bed from the oil but they washed out in the laundry just fine.

I am more than blown away with this product, in the end. The few shortcomings absolutely pale in comparison to the scent, flavour, warming and non-staining properties. While Oil of Love may not be the perfect product for hours of massage, it couldn’t be more perfect for us.

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Dream Maker Lunar Rabbit

September 1st, 2009

Dream Maker Lunar Rabbit

Dream Maker Lunar Rabbit
N/A from

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

I was pretty excited when Evolved came out with their Dream Maker Rabbits. The pink Lunar Rabbit – which I have – is a fancy-looking toy with LED lights and multiple buttons and rotating beads, and a vibrating clit stimulator, and it’s waterproof on top of that. The Dream Makers were received with, generally, mediocre reviews but this only piqued my interest. I was even more interested in this bunny when some of the early reviews made no mention of shaft rotation – only awesome rotating beads and vibrating clit stimulators.

Packaged in Evolved’s typical metal box (although the lid is now plastic encased as well) and nestled in foam, was my pink Lunar Rabbit. I quickly discovered that the soft TPR material, which coats the shaft and clit stim, was one hell of a lint magnet. It seemed even more so than other Evolved toys I’ve tried and reminded me of my less than stellar experience with Cyberskin. The control pack is velvety, hard plastic like Evolved uses in many other products and does not attract lint, of course.

I had no issues popping 4 AAA batteries into an EZ load-style pack after unscrewing the bottom. It seemed plenty secure for waterproof purposes and made cleaning with soap and water quite easy. There is a sticker that says to push, and I expected it to click in and out of a secure position; however, pushing didn’t actually seem to do anything. The battery pack just sat there loosely the whole time. It’s not an issue, but it just seems pointless to tell us to push when it doesn’t do anything.

I immediately played with was the different functions and LED light. There is a master On/Off button which I appreciate. This is a great feature in times of unexpected.. interruptions. The clit stimulator and shaft have separate Up/Down arrow controls as well. On top of this, there is a function button for the shaft and clit stim as well, for a total of 7 buttons. This is definitely more buttons than some may be used to or even like. It’s a toy that takes a bit more practice before play to get a feel of and I was initially confused.

Overall, I prefer the control pack to Evolved’s other single-button styles because it’s much harder to accidentally turn off and there’s also 3 finger indentations on the back of the toy for grasping. I did notice that the buttons for the rotation were less responsive than the rest of the buttons, for whatever reason. I would have to push them several times to increase or lower the intensity and this was just during experimentation. It’d probably be more difficult and frustrating during actual play.

The light display is in the shape of a star, with a light at each point for a total of 10 lights. When first turned on, the Lunar Rabbit turns on the lowest setting of function 1. This setting corresponds with the lights at the bottom 2 points of the stars. As you increase the speed of either feature, another point on the star lights up (for a total of 5 stars to each feature). In all, there are 5 functions, each, for the clit stim and shaft with 5 settings/speeds for each function which results in hundreds of different combinations. The functions of the clit stim include steady vibration, short pulsation, fast pulsation, an increasing pulsation and roller coaster while the rotation/beads includes forward, backward, back and forth, faster back and forth and “stop and go” rotation. The shaft and clit stim can be operated separately by turning down the speed on the function until it turns off but I wouldn’t have minded a quick Off button for either feature, either.

I was also surprised by the fact that the shaft does rotate; it just rotates in very tiny circles which could easily be missed. Overall, though, disappointment did abound. I think Evolved made a grave mistake in powering this rabbit with AAA batteries and no matter how many you use, simply upgrading to AA would have seen a vast improvement in power. Even on the higher settings, the bunny clit stimulator wasn’t all that impressive. And while I appreciated the variety in bead rotation, it didn’t stand up to muscle clenching at all. As you can guess, I couldn’t even feel the shaft rotations even though I knew it was happening – or supposed to be. My muscles likely put a stop to that, too.

Furthermore, I found the hundreds of combinations to be lackluster, really, but I’m more of a girl who likes one or two really good settings/functions and sticks to them. I tend to skip “low” settings right for medium or high and more than one pulsation setting is pretty unnecessary for me. I would have been more than happy if my Lunar Rabbit had only a handful of stellar combinations but.. it didn’t. With that said, fans of light to medium stimulation, who love variety and build up might enjoy the power of this more.

There was one redeeming quality, however. It’s not well known and Evolved doesn’t advertise it as a feature, but the shaft can bend below the beads. I actually discovered this by accident when rocking the toy to stimulate my G-spot, which caused the shaft to bend. This offers much more noticeable stimulation via shaft rotation. Still, I especially enjoyed it with rotation off, using the rocking motion to create a very effective dual stimulator and to finally achieve an orgasm or two. Because it bends below the beads, it really offers an experience like no other rabbit I’ve tried. Unfortunately, the folks from Evolved say that continuous bending might cause this wire to break, which is a shame. I think this is by far the best quality of the Dream Maker Lunar Rabbit and without it, I was less than impressed by lackluster power, the confusing LED display, and the tendency to collect lint.

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Get up to 30% off at MysteryVibe

Clit, Meet Nose

August 26th, 2009

So, a while ago I went to this sex toy party thing and I didn’t buy anything cause the prices were freaking outrageous. I did walk away with some interesting knowledge and that was this: Apparently the nose is the closest body part to the clit in terms of sensitivity so you can test vibes on your nose to see how well they might fare. I found this interesting. The tip of my nose is pretty damned sensitive so it makes sense.. except that I feel like my clit isn’t anywhere near as sensitive as my clit. In fact, when I masturbate, I don’t really even touch my clit. I rub through it to the bone.

But I know I’m an odd duck so maybe the rest of you find this method to be an accurate gauge of sensitivity?

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Silky sheets Pear Blossom

August 23rd, 2009

Silky Sheets Pear Blossom

Silky Sheets Pear Blossom

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

I first heard of Silky Sheets a few years ago when browsing some sex toy party catalog. One of my co-workers had purchased it but didn’t feel like it really made the sheets feel all that silky. Since then, I’ve heard several similar accounts but people still recommend this pheromone-enhanced spray because of its drying properties – something which can only be beneficial after a bedroom romp. I finally decided to give this scented, talc spray a run for its money and I have to say, I’m still not convinced.

If you’re unfamiliar with Silky Sheets, it comes in a 4 oz silver spray bottle with cap. It’s not entirely obscene but it’s nothing to show off, either.

I thought, if nothing else, I’d have good smelling sheets. I was wrong. I was torn between the different scents and so I gave my top 3 to a friend who urged me to go with Pear Blossom. It sounded fine. Unfortunately, it doesn’t smell either like fruit or flowers. The scent is something.. perfumey and too heavy, almost fermented. When I spray, I get a small glimpse at a smell I might like but it’s covered up by all the negative attributes. So I don’t think it matters at all if there are pheromones in here because my strong sense of smell is too busy objecting at the scent to process any pheromones.

Secondly, it sprays white. Yes, it can be wiped off and does wear off eventually but it’s super obvious at first. I did a test spray on my coloured armchair and was surprised. I sprayed my red curtain to the same result except, I couldn’t wipe it off right away. I guess you have to wait until it dries. Also, get ready for a visible puff of talc in your air.

But the drying is really where I thought it would work well and I waited anxiously for my husband to come home because I really don’t make much of a wet spot by myself. Sheets finally wet, I sprayed. And touched the spot. And only felt it was wetter. Frustrated, I left it alone and, eventually, it dried. I posted a thread about Silky Sheets on a sex forum but got no response from anyone who had used it. Someone did suggest spraying further away, so I did. Second go around, I had a bit more luck. It really did seem to dry up some smaller wet spots caused by massage oil but the big one, well, I’m not so sure. I gave it a generous spray and noticed no difference. I let it be and it was dry when I came back, and slightly “crispy” (like jeans dried on the line) from the Silky Sheets spray. Yet, I had left the fan on while I was gone and it had been some time. From other reviews, I got the impression that this would work much faster than that.

Without making two identical wet spots to test, I really can’t prove that Silky Sheets does or doesn’t work. I’ll probably continue to use it, just to empty the bottle and I wouldn’t necessarily discourage someone else from using it – as long as they stay away from the Pear Blossom scent – but I wasn’t blown away like I expected to be.

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Sex With My Love

August 20th, 2009

My husband is home and, of course, that mean sex. Unfortunately, it’s not as much sex as either of us would like but, on the other hand, I’m really glad I still want lots of sex after having it. Before he was deployed, I just thought too much about sex without actually doing it. I would think about the effort and the messes and I would actually ignore my body’s physical response to his touch because of the nagging thoughts. It was a miserable mindset and while I haven’t relished the fact that we have been apart for most of this year, I’m glad of the motivation it has provided.

When I think about sex, talk about sex, or blog about sex I tend to do it in a rather objective way. There’s definitely emotional disconnect even if I’m talking about my sex life. It’s not entirely unusual for me to get lost listening to my inner voice talk about the mechanics of sex and totally not be into it and.. that frequently leads me to think that I don’t really like sex and then I don’t want to have it but it’s not true. My inner voice really just needs to STFU sometimes and, right now, it’s pretty much drowned out by the rest of my body’s sexual needs. I touched on this on the EdenFantasys forums and, sadly, I don’t have much of a “cure” for this, at least not something that can be used on a frequent basis.

Anyway, this all sort of leads me to think that sex is very separate from emotion for me and that’s just not true. And I’m glad it’s not true. Maybe it can be and I’d be lying if I said a large part of my sex life doesn’t revolve simply around attraction and physicality but that’s not all of it. And maybe it’s not even the important part of it and maybe I’m just too wrapped up in my head to realize but, obviously, it’s nearly impossible to not have super emotional sex after your husband returns from deployment.

It’s good to feel that connected even if it feels awkward to cry during sex. It’s good to hold eachother that tight. It’s good to feel when you spend so much time not feeling. Sometimes I have such a hard time reconciling my thoughts with my feelings and all the feelings come pouring out so strongly that I just can’t think. Can’t. Despite the fact that so much of me thrives on control, I really do appreciate those moments and desire more of them when it comes to my relationship and sex.

In spite of the situation that has led to it, I’m grateful to be reminded that I like sex, I want it and having it is an emotionally charged experience. It’s shocking how easily that can be forgotten.

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