Bloomy

February 24th, 2009

Bloomy

Sadly, Fun Factory no longer makes the Bloomy.

Fun Factory’s Bloomy anal plug/dildo was a pleasant surprise. I fell in love with it as soon as I first laid eyes on it; after all, it’s a really unique shape, and both black and deep pink are attractive colors. Mine came in pink, not the typical fit-for-Barbie pink of so many sex toys but a deep, grown-up pink. Although I love black, I actually prefer pink because I think it better highlights the shape of the bloomy – a shape vaguely reminiscent of a flower but not obviously so, but perhaps that is just my opinion.

The Bloomy came packaged similarly to other Fun Factory toys. Actually, I think mine had some packaging snafus as it included two copies of the Fun Factory brochure, two packets of lube, instructions for the Teneo Smart Balls, and instructions for the Bloomy. The toy itself was also nestled only in a “bottom” plastic tray, leaving the toy open so you could touch it while in the box. Because of the silicone, the toy had actually attracted some dust and dirt during shipping which was kind of gross.

Nevertheless, I easily washed it with soap and water and was surprised to find how much give this silicone toy has. I actually thought it was a bit too floppy at first but this soon proved not to be the case.

The Bloomy is billed as a multifunction toy, and I certainly cannot argue; the pure silicone makeup is boilable for sterilization, so it’s safe to use anally and vaginally. However, I only used this toy vaginally and will continue to do so. I have no doubt that the bloom shape would make for a fine anal plug and the “leaf” extension could stimulate the perineum as well but, for me, I immediately thought this could be a dual action dildo and identified the loop as an insertion point for a bullet vibe.

And that’s exactly how I used it. I slipped my BNaughty into the loop, turned it up high and let the toy transmit vibrations to my body. This was pretty nice but I found the thin “leaf” to be a little too soft for adequate clit stimulation. Fear not! I found an unexpected use for this toy, which actually resulted in a new kind of orgasm! Yes! A new kind of orgasm for me.

With the bullet in the loop, I was able to grind this “middle” section against/into the opening of my vagina, stimulating the nerve endings which are there. I moved this toy in a circular sort of motion and was soon experiencing my first (then second and third) vaginal orgasms. Now, these weren’t G-spot orgasms as they weren’t located that far in but it was still different from my usual clitoral orgasms and I was ecstatic to say the least.

On that note, I didn’t find a whole lot of G-spot stimulation because the silicone does have a lot of give – more than I am used to from pure silicone toys which usually seem to be firmer. I also can’t say that I was very sensitive to the shape of the Bloomy. I liked it but it wasn’t obvious that it has a unique shape after I inserted it. Still, it did feel good and I actually found walking around with this toy inserted to feel pleasurable (internally, at least, the walking was kind of silly).

I was really excited to find a toy that both looked and felt amazing, and the unique orgasms the Bloomy gave me were a welcome change from my usual routine. It was exciting to learn something new about myself, and I think the Bloomy makes a great toy when paired with a bullet vibe, but it’s certainly versatile enough to use in other ways. In the future, I will likely invest in a stronger bullet/egg vibe to use with my Bloomy, and I think the fact that I want to get another sex toy simply to improve my Bloomy experience says a lot. I would recommend the Bloomy to just about any way!

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Categories: Anal Toys, Dildos, Reviews
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Importance of Sex Education

February 23rd, 2009

I have always believed in the importance of sex education. Coming from a liberal, midwestern state, I know the sex education I got (which started in second or third grade and lasted, on and off, until my sophomore year) was much better than the sex ed others were getting. Many people hear nothing more than “Don’t do it” or “Masturbation is a sin,” if they hear anything about sex at all. Still, the focus was on not engaging in sex; although I felt my teachers gave me good reasons why (and I was listening), more information about safer sex would be preferred.

I know I’m not the only one who values sex education that is actually, well, educational, but not everyone does. Some people feel that educating our nation’s youth about sexuality isn’t the way to go (is it any wonder that these people have unsatisfactory sex, got pregnant in their teens, caught a multitude of STDs because of risky behavior, or have never known how to please themselves or their lovers?) and to them I say “Listen up!”

I think most of us agree that the purpose of parenting and teaching is to communicate to our children the risks they will have to deal with once they leave the walls of home or school and set them up to make the best decisions regarding these risks. We exert more control over their lives when children are younger; no one is going to let a toddler cross the road by himself, but as children grow, we impart on them more responsibility regarding life’s risks and trust that we have reared a child or a generation of children who will choose the best course of action for them. Notice, I don’t say “right” because what is right for one individual may not be for another.

I believe it’s important for us to recognize that life is full of risks, but we can’t simply shelter our children; this almost always leads to more harm than good. By allowing them to make their own decisions and mistakes, we help them grow and give them confidence. So why is it that so many people think the best way to teach about sexuality is to say, “Don’t do it,” and leave it at that – the equivalent of “Because I say so,” another cheap cop-out that no responsible person should use?

Although I’m not a parent, I can tell you that when I was given a solid “No” without meaning, it only made me want to rebel against my mother. However, if she had taken the time to explain why she said no, I would have been more willing to consider her side and listen to her advice. When we tell our young children not to cross the road (without looking both ways), we explain that cars sometimes drive very fast and drivers may not see them when they’re doing so. Not looking could result in a painful or even deadly accident. And when we tell them not to talk to strangers because strangers may want to hurt them, they learn not to talk to strangers.

Of course, even as we try to teach these life lessons, we must recognize that, at some time, our youth will cross the road without a trusting hand to hold and that everyone begins a stranger so we must be somewhat trusting. We take as active a role as possible: we tell them some strangers are helpful, like police officers, doctors, or teachers, and we send them into the world armed with knowledge. We teach them how to drive, explain that a car is a powerful machine, and remind them that they must be observant and obey laws and rules of the road. And then we let them go.

So why should sex be the exception? Why should something without which none of us would exist be glossed over, tucked in the back of the book, or ignored altogether? It shouldn’t. Sex is a part of life and will always be a part of life. It can potentially be riskier than other activities, which makes it even more critical that we educate youth about it.

Of course, it also makes us want to protect them from it even more, and it’s certainly understandable, but if we don’t give them the information they need to make the best decisions, doesn’t this endanger them even more? By withholding information about the risks of sex, teens may be walking into a dangerous situation blindly. In fact, I would call this very irresponsible regarding parenting and education. Furthermore, by not educating people about how sex can be a positive, healthy, and pleasurable thing (within and outside of a relationship), we could be setting up the next generation to a life of mediocrity.

I don’t think we should be bringing porn stars into our classrooms, but I think that a level of responsible parenting and teaching is necessary. And, no, I don’t believe that illustrating why waiting to have sex but outlining ways to engage in safer sex at the same time will prompt teens to engage in sex earlier. I think that, by nature of our species, adolescents will be curious, and some will have sex, yes. I also think that if we show them the potential risks, including pregnancy, STDs, physical discomfort, and emotional tolls, we allow them to make the most educated decision and, should they decide to have sex, they know to protect themselves from all the possible negative consequences. Hopefully, teaching about the risks will also deter some teens from having sex at a young age.

But if we don’t teach them and they race to the sack with the first person who is open to advances, they may not know to use condoms to protect from STDs and prevent pregnancy. How many know someone who thinks “pulling out” is an effective form of birth control? Or who wonders if you can get pregnant from oral sex? Or who thinks that you cannot get pregnant while a female has her period? How many people are aware that condoms don’t protect against all STDs, should only be worn for 30 minutes at a time, should have room at the tip for semen to accumulate, and should never be worn doubled up? Not everyone and that is a problem.

Yet, it’s not the only problem. I think it’s important to recognize that not teaching today’s youth about their bodies can limit the pleasure they will experience during their life on Earth. This is especially true with the female half of the population, some of whom do not even know what the clitoris is, that they can masturbate, or that it’s okay to communicate what they like during sex. Comprehensive sex education not only leads to safer sex but leads to more meaningful, positive sex, which enhances, not harms, relationships.

Although I discuss mostly young people and their ignorance when it comes to sex, I think that most young people are better educated than some adults. Do our parents’ and grandparents’ generation even know a fraction of what we do? How many grown women engage in dangerous vaginal douching to be “fresh” and clean? Would some hard-learned lessons have made sex and relationships better had someone cared enough to take the time to explain the basics? Absolutely.

There is no need to drill into youth that “Sex is bad! Sex is bad! Sex is bad! Don’t talk about it.” However, there is every need to explain that the best sex can be physically and emotionally fulfilling by knowing the risks and preparing for the consequences. And that is no different from every other lesson we teach at home or school.

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Miracle Massager

February 21st, 2009

Miracle Massager
$55.59 from Store.OfSexAndLove.com

Psst, are you wondering if I still enjoy the Miracle Massager? Check out my updated thoughts in my “A Toy A Day” feature!

My methods of masturbation have always involved more pressure than vibration alone and I began to think that perhaps I didn’t even like vibration. Then I wondered if maybe the toys I was using simply weren’t strong enough and I began to seriously consider the wand style vibrators. Perhaps I simply needed something incredibly strong like the Hitachi, except I just couldn’t over how ugly most of those sex toys were and the resemblance to a microphone certainly was a turn off as well. So I opted for something I thought would be powerful enough, knowing I could always invest in Hitachi at a later point, but the Miracle Massager was better looking. And, with it’s black and red colour scheme and ergonomically curved handle, the Miracle Massage really is the best looking of this type of vibrator in my opinion.

I’m not sure if I can say the Miracle Massager is actually miraculous; nevertheless, it certainly is wonderful. The first day alone, I used it for at least 30 minutes. I used it until I simply couldn’t use it anymore, lest my vulva fall off. I ended up sweaty and tired and had numerous orgasms. You can probably tell I am a fan of the Miracle Massager. I’m glad I tried something different; I’ve been trying to expand from my normal toys and I’ve had a lot of different experiences. This is definitely one of the better ones.

So, how does this differ from insertable vibes? Well, it’s not insertable for one. It plugs in. It has a cylindrical, PVC head which is the only part which you use to stimulate yourself (the rest being handle) and the vibration is spread out over a larger surface. The head rests on a spring which allows movement, unlike some similar vibes. It’s ergonomically designed (the handle is curved). It’s much larger than most vibes. And it’s really freaking strong.

And are these differences notable? You betcha!

I’m a clit girl anyway so I wasn’t missing anything by not being able to insert the Miracle Massager. However, they are some insertable attachments. I would say this is the only real bone I have to pick: the Hitachi has a million quality attachments while the Miracle Massager has only a handful, most of which seem lame.

Relying on a cord plugged into the wall for power as opposed to batteries resulted in a lot stronger vibrations. The Miracle Massager has a high and low setting, the latter which seems to match the high setting on some of my battery powered toys and the former which is, well, much higher. So far, I’ve found the high setting to be the most pleasurable but I don’t like to use it on bare skin: I prefer the stimulation through a thin pair of yoga-type pants. The cord is something which does take a bit of adjustment. I have an outlet perfectly situated in the bedroom but I actually wound up pulling the plug out of the wall in my ‘throes of passion’ in the living room. I have since then made a mental note to use an extension cord. Overall, however, the cord has not been detrimental to my play time.

I actually don’t like pinpoint vibrations (again, the pressure) so I found the shape of the head to be amazing (PVC might not be the safest material, however. I also found that the red PVC seemed to pick up a black ‘stain’ – probably from the pants I wore while using this). I use this with the flat part of the head against my vulva and clitoris while the handle extends outward. I’m pretty sure it’s a unique way to use a toy like this but it allows me to apply a lot of pressure as well as use the..

Spring! This is definitely a highlight of the toy. The strong spring allows me to bend this toy as much as I need and also to apply a rocking sensation as I grind against the Miracle Massager. With many toys which have some bend/give, I wind up breaking them. I am happy to say this is not the issue. The spring is very thick and I have no fear of it breaking. Although the spring does not stick out, it’s not exactly covered so be wary of your hair which some have had pulled by the spring.

I had no issues with the design of the handle. It’s ridged and definitely easy to hold. Because you don’t need to lube it up, it doesn’t slip. The button slides from Off to Low or High and is easy to use. I’m not sure if it’s necessarily as ergonomic as the makers would likely have you believe but it is more appealing to the eye than straight handles.

Although the Magic Massager is larger than most toys, the box actually doesn’t suggest it. This toy comes in a rectangular cardboard box and sits inside a plastic tray. The box doesn’t waste a lot of space and I was actually surprised at how small it is. I was worried about the size and weight of this toy because my fingers and wrists can be lame but it has not been an issue.

And did I mention it’s strong? I don’t know if it can stand up to the Hitachi but it’s definitely the strongest toy I have used and works just fine for me.

A couple side notes – cleaning is really minimum because it’s not insertable and the head is smooth – just wipe down the head with toy cleaner, wipes or soap and water (on a washcloth probably). Storage is easy because I don’t have to worry about it not touching other toys and it seems to be pretty sturdy. I could easily shove it under the bed and not have to worry about it picking up lint. It doesn’t fit in my Devine Storage Box so that’s a shame but it’s not my biggest concern. Using for 30 minutes or more at a time, I have not experienced any uncomfortable (over)heating.

Overall, I have no real complaints about this toy. It provided me with everything I expected and the spring definitely put it into the “and more” category. It’s powerful, as attractive as these toys can be, and more affordable than some toys which do a whole lot of nothing. If you’re interested in something with souped up vibrations, definitely check out the Miracle Massager!

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Categories: Reviews, Vibrators
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Swingin’ Pendulum

February 19th, 2009

Swingin' Pendulum
N/A from

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

When I picked out the Swinging Pendulum I was interested in triple stimulation. I’d just tried my first anal plug with a fair measure of success, and the “anal tingler” of this toy, paired with a thumb-like g-spot insertion and nubbed clitoral stimulator, seemed like a pretty package all wrapped up in pink. Unfortunately, there’s nothing swinging about this toy.

The Swingin’ Pendulum is little and cute – I would almost call it dinky. Made of hard plastic, the exterior of which is specially treated to result in a velvety texture (known as rubber/velvet cote), I liked how the Pendulum feels in my hand. Rubbercote can also be wiped down with an alcohol solution for sterilization or cleaned with soap and water.

This toy has a plug-in jack which, I think, is meant to make cleaning easier by allowing you to unplug the toy from the remote; the Swingin’ Pendulum is not waterproof. The remote control and battery pack felt alarmingly flimsy when empty, but the added weight of 2 AA batteries does improve this some. The remote features a dial control from “Off” to the highest “On” setting.

This sex toy is made up of 3 stimulators which combine to make the toy look like, well, a pendulum. The insertable, G-spot stimulator is thumb-shaped and curves slightly toward the front of the toy, where the G-spot would be. IT also has three pronounced rings toward the base. The clitoral stimulator makes up the front, bottom portion of the toy and has 2 rows of 3 evenly space nubs for a total of 6. I was initially put off of these nubs because they are hard. Finally, the anal stimulator tapers (like a.. tentacle?) and is topped off with a spherical knob.

Right out of the box (clear plastic with a half-naked blondie in the background – there isn’t a lot of useful information to be found), I tested out the vibrations. I had no problem inserting batteries or using the dial. The vibrations, which are centered in the bottom of the pendulum but translate to the insertable thumb pretty well, start off pretty mild, and as I turned them up, the vibrations changed smoothly without being too jerky. There is a light on the control pack which starts dim and grows much brighter as you turn up the vibrations and I suppose this would be nice in the dark. On the highest setting, this light makes the entire top half of the control glow.

One thing I found was that, at some point near maximum vibration, this toy starts to go wild. The vibrations become really shaky and unstable feeling, the light flickers a lot and the toy sounds as though it’s going to explode. I’m so not even kidding. It sounds like it’s really straining, as though California Exotic tried really hard to add some higher settings but this little toy just couldn’t handle it.

Testing aside, I wasn’t impressed. I didn’t realize how difficult to use and uncomfortable the Swingin’ Pendulum would be. My personal experience was that the clitoral stimulator was much too short to reach my clit unless I did something akin to the Hokey Pokey. The anal stimulator was also short and oddly placed so it simply sat between my cheeks and there was little vibration to be felt there. The G-spot stimulator carried the vibration the best but it wasn’t doing anything spectacular. I couldn’t even feel the nubs or rings and I wasn’t able to insert the toy as far as I would have liked because of its shape. The velvet cote mattered not to my girl parts.

The hard plastic has absolutely no give and, by now, I know there is no “one size fits all” when it comes to sex toys. I think a more giving material, like silicone, would make much more sense. Being able to adjust the clitoral and anal stimulators would have made this experience much more pleasant.  There was really only one part of this toy that did what it was supposed to, but I already have better G-spot vibrators.

Overall, this was a disappointing toy and experience. After using it, I actually felt a bit sore. The hard plastic meant I couldn’t grind against or rub the toy on me without it being painful. I could only really use it lying down (I thought I might be able to use it sitting, inside my panties) without it being uncomfortable and pinchy. Lastly, I took a closer look at the Swingin’ Pendulum and saw that it was not seamless; there were cracks and gaps where the pieces of the toy fit together, and I imagine this would be a perfect place for bacteria to hide – thus making this toy less sanitary than I’d like.

If you’re looking for triple stimulation or G-spot toys, there are many better options, including Mona.

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Categories: Reviews, Vibrators
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Let it Rain

February 17th, 2009

There is something so erotic about rain, even moreso thunderstorms.  It’s as though the lightning travels through the air, straight into my veins. I love warm, stormy nights. Of course, they’d perfect for sleeping soundly but there’s even more electrifying things to do in bed during a thunderstorm.

I love to crack open the windows, to feel the humidity. I love the scent of rain. Precipitation on blacktop. I remember once, I had just opened the blinds, and opened the patio door in the bedroom just a bit. Thunder rolled and lightning crackled, lighting up the room briefly.

I don’t remember if we had been lying in bed, trying to sleep or what. But I do remember our kiss, my back to the window and soon our clothes were coming off, thunder playing the soundtrack to our intimacy and lightning setting the mood. I can’t remember the sex itself anymore but I remember the feeling. I remember thinking how incredibly erotic it was; I had always loved storms and the adrenaline pumping through my veins. It wasn’t long until something else was pumping in my body.

I recall another time, we walked through the pouring rain across town. I was wearing a tank top, black with lace straps and the rain weighed it down against my breasts. It had already been a little tight and I felt super sexual. We both wanted to find a place to have sex but none was to be found. We grew soaked to the bone, chilled with the rain – it was not a warm night. We stopped, huddled in a doorframe but it was no shelter and soon we made out way back home, towelled off and crawled into bed warming each other with our bodies.

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When Sex Isn’t The Best

February 16th, 2009

Sometimes sexual intimacy, even with those we love the most, is a bit of a letdown. It can be disappointing for everyone involved. A caring partner wants his or her lover to feel pleasure and it can be just as frustrating when the pleasure we seek is just out of reach. Nevertheless, it’s completely normal and there are a lot of factors which can occasionally put a dent in our sex lives. The important thing is to recognize there is nothing “wrong” with either partner and allowing these instances to bring down our sex lives in general does no one any good. But before you go and get all hotheaded, keep these things in mind:

Sex will sometimes disappoint
It happens. It has happened before and it will happen again but letting a handful of instances erase your memory of dozens which are excellent won’t make you feel any better. On the other hand, is the ratios are reverse, perhaps your sex life can use some sprucing up.
Sexual performance is not always linked to attraction, emotion or even physical pleasure.
Your health, lack of sleep, stress level, medication, anxiety to perform and mental preoccupation with anything can all lead to less than desirable sex. If you have been busy, overworked, under nourished or are suffering from a medical ailment, sex may suffer, too. If your mind is elsewhere, too busy to focus on pleasure, how can you expect sex to be wonderful? Rest assured that if some sessions in the sack are less than perfect, it doesn’t mean you don’t find your partner attractive, love them or enjoy what they do and the same applies when roles are reversed!
We all have off days.
Maybe you’re an excellent speaker, writer, artist, performer, mathematician or scientist. Even experts have “off” days and they learn to take them in stride. Few, if any, people are at their best 24/7.
We learn from our mistakes.
No one who ever did anything amazing stopped after their first set back. Some kept up, failure after failure, until they came up with something that worked. I doubt Einstein or Steve Jobs or DaVinci gave up just because the job was tough and neither should you.
It doesn’t have to hurt your relationship.
Sometimes we take it personally when our partners aren’t experiencing as much pleasure as we’d like them to but communication goes a long way. If you couldn’t orgasm don’t storm out of the room; let your partner know that he or she did everything you expected and more but, hey, it’s just “one of those days.”

When you’ve taken a deep breath and accepted these facts, then it might be time to figure out why sex was lacking but do not assign blame.It might be one of the issues highlighted before or something else completely. When you recognize the issue, you can do more to fix it? Stressed? Lay off the caffeine, cut out projects which are unnecessary and stop spreading yourself so thin. Take more time for you (take a bubble bath, do a crossword or nap), add more foreplay and focus on your senses rather than just getting off. Interference from your health or medication? Talk to your doctor. Preoccupied? Take time to unwind after your day before hopping into bed. Once you shut the bedroom door, keep your worries out there.

If it helps, have a conversation with your lover to let them know what’s going on inside your mind. Maybe they can help you de-stress, get healthier and wind down after a rough day. Sex is a two-way street and no one expects you to walk it alone.

I know I sometimes (okay, always) have a tendency to focus on the bad and can use a reminder every once in a while: disappointing sex is not the end of the world! One bad session may lower my interest in sex in the recent future but, the truth of the matter is, if you’re too busy focusing on what’s bad, you’ll never feel motivated enough to work toward the good. The sooner you get back on the proverbial horse, the sooner you’ll be enjoying sex again. There’s no use causing further disappointment in your sex life by lamenting over something which is easily fixed and completely normal.

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Bijoux Indiscrets cosmetics for better sex

Happy Valentine’s Day, Or Is It?

February 15th, 2009

Valentine’s Day has always been stressful. Lovers strive to please those with whom they share intimate moments and, usually, their beds. Recipients paste on fake smiles as gifts don’t measure up or fail to come at all. Sometimes, the surprise is ruined by emergencies and unexpected intrusions by life’s practicalities. Of course, Valentine’s Day is always full of mass produced trinkets, cards and waxy chocolates which can sometimes seem to reduce the sincerity of the holiday. And sometimes, just sometimes, it’s as perfect as we all wish it to be (I haven’t experienced yet but my sources tell me this is the case).

Those perfect days are few and far between, judging from the what the internet has to say and the advent of “Single’s Awareness Day” which we all know is simply a holiday somebody invented because Valentine’s Day made him feel down in the dumps; most people are not fans of this holiday. I could go either way, myself. If you have someone and care to make it special, it can be despite the capitalistic spin it’s taken. On the other hand, it’s easy to look at as simply another day out of the year.

But why is it that Valentine’s Day and other similar holidays (New Year’s Eve Kiss, anyone?) cause so many to feel so much spite and, yes, even intense hatred? I’d say it likely has much to do with the fact that these celebrate love and praise the status of being “taken.” Now, I have nothing against love or finding someone who compliments you so well that you want to dedicate (at least a portion of) your life to them but, in praising this status, Valentine’s Day suggests that those who have not obtained such a status, regardless of the reason, are somehow inferior.

And no one wants to feel inferior. So we do everything in our power to be apart of the “in” crowd from sending ourselves flowers to lying about the lack of a someone special in our life. Of course, some people take a different route and, instead of lying, simply write off Valentine’s Day and even the idea of love itself. I would advise against this because love can be a wonderful thing; I just don’t find it necessary. I think we all should be open to finding love but not desperate to do so.

Furthermore, no one wants to be reminded of the fact that finding a special someone has proven more difficult than we first suspected. Or of our tumultuous previous relationships. Or of exes who broke our hearts (and maybe stole our money, too). Or the one who got away. When our coworkers and classmates get flowers at work or school from lovers to secret admirers, it’s too easy to feel spiteful or to even shed a tear or two – even if we wouldn’t otherwise care.

No matter your hookup status, it does us all good to take a deep breath and remember that Valentine’s Day doesn’t need to be a day where we torture ourselves with unnecessary pressure by trying to find the perfect gift, the perfect dress, the perfect date or the perfect ice cream to sooth our souls. At the end of the day, it is just another day. If you choose to view it as something special, good for you. If you’re enjoying the role of being single, good for you, too. If you’re somewhere in limbo, I hope you come out on top. There’s nothing wrong with treating yourself to flowers to tide you over until next year and don’t forget to take the time to stop and smell them.

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Image © MisterUnlucky; used with permission.