and Meeting

February 7th, 2009

We had known eachother for over a year when we began meeting. He would fly to see me but where would he stay? Our conversations started shortly before I moved out from my mom’s house. Everything depended on my best friend and I getting the apartment we had applied for. We did.

A little over a month passed and 2 friends and I headed to the airport. I was nervous, of course. We sat in the lobby and waited. As time passed, my stomach grew more upset and I grabbed my friend’s hand so hard she yelped.

Then I saw him. I did not want to get up right away. I was nervous and this gave him the impression that I did not see him. And then, I was walking toward him, friends in tow. I was standing in front of him, we hugged. I stepped back and he, very visually, looked me up and down. From a stranger, this would have been rude. From him, it was more than flattering. Anyone who has met someone online can surely sympathize with the fear that your beloved will not be so attracted to you upon meeting.

My fears allayed, we headed to a restaurant but neither of us were hungry. We were too nervous. I ordered hot chocolate, accidentally dipped my nose in the whipped cream. We had a laugh as I cleaned it off. He sat to my leg, nervously bouncing his leg. I put my hand on his thigh to assure him. I remember thinking this was a bad idea. I felt defeated. The so-called meal passed, we rose and he offered to pay. As my friends walked out into the parking lot, I reached my arms around his neck to hug him and he returned the hug. My soul breathed a sigh of relief.

We exited to the car, entered the backseat as my friend drove us home. We put our arms around eachother, awkward with out winter clothing in the way and cuddled. I remember feeling for the first time in my entire like that everyone would be okay. Such a weight was lifted from my shoulders.

We spent the next days mostly in bed. I remembering crawling next to him the first time, feeling so nervous but we lay next to eachother and it felt wonderful. Cuddling and, after a few days, having sex. One day we were hanging out with my friend and room mate, then announced we were headed to bed. She had asked how we could sleep so much and we laughed. We hadn’t been sleeping that whole time!

Those days passed in a haze and soon I had to return to work – night shift. Of course. My coworker wanted to know how it went; he spotted the hickeys on my neck and teased me. He guessed it went well. I was ecstatic.

Who knew it would turn out that way? Certainly not me.

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Categories: Stories
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and Love

February 6th, 2009

Although this blog is entitled of Sex and Love, I don’t often talk about the love aspect much. I don’t really talk about there sex that much, come to think of it. As it happens, I spend more time thinking about sex than actually having it and it’s not necessarily a bad thing. As much as I didn’t want to post explicitly about my sex life under my real name, I feel hesitant to post too much identifying information about my love life here. Still I thought I could at least introduce you to the object of both my love and desire: my husband.

We met online over 5 years ago. We both weren’t looking for anyone and our relationship started out sexually charged. It has stayed that way ever since. There is never a day when he isn’t groping my breasts or my ass and while it can be a bit annoying (I insisted on a no funny business in the kitchen rule!), it’s also insanely flattering. The way he is so easily aroused by just lying next to me is incredibly arousing in itself and he has never once made me feel that he thinks of me anything less of beautiful.

In bed, he’s quick to profess how he’s missed being inside me, missed tasting me. He showers me with compliments and is always eager to have his face between my legs, mouth working around my clit. I cannot help but smile as I see him move his hand beneath him to stroke his own cock as he does this, like clockwork. Seeing him so turned on by me, by pleasing me, only turns me on.

We will be married 4 years this summer. Unfortunately, I don’t think he will be able to be here for our anniversary as he is currently deployed. Such was the case for our first anniversary as well; although he still sent me roses which I kept by my bed until not a petal was left.

He is goofy and cute, funny and real. This adorable awkwardness is how I knew he was real when we chatted online, staying up until all hours of the morning as we shared naughty pictures and racy words. He is simply the best partner I’ve ever found at cybersex and I would often feel the thrill rushing through my veins, my pussy dripping wet as we typed back and forth.

I miss how he makes me laugh. Sometimes I do something and imagine how he might make fun of me. I miss his voice. I miss the voice he would use in bed, slightly lowered and whispering into my ear. I miss feeling his body next to me, even just as we sleep. I miss crawling into bed next to him, kissing the skin on his back and cuddling close. I miss spooning, his cock hard against my ass. Even if nothing would happen, he was ever-erect.

I miss grasping his hair, my hand on the back of my head as he goes down on me. I miss leaning over him, brushing my lips and tongue over his chest, skin perfectly smooth. I loved to leave marks and he loved to be marked. It lets the world know that he is mine. Before he left, he asked to do the same to me and sucked on my own neck. I never looked in the mirror to see if it left a mark. I wish I would have.

I miss the look and the feel of his hips. So fucking sexy. I miss groping and grabbing him. I miss humping and grinding against him, his leg, his hip, his cock, his face. I miss coming together and falling asleep after.

I could kick myself for not doing that more often. I will when he returns.

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Categories: Everything Else
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No Sexless Marriage For Me, Thank You

February 5th, 2009

I’m watching Extreme Makeover (a rerun, of course) and one of the participants is a woman who has commented how her sex life has deteriorated because she has no confidence. I just cannot imagine that. Sure, I don’t always like the way I look but as long as I don’t have to stare at myself in a mirror the entire time (or for any time, really), then I am fine.

I simply cannot imagine not being intimate with my husband. Even when I don’t love it all the time, I want to have sex with him. Being sexual gives me more confidence and makes me feel more beautiful. That anyone could let this happen just shocks me.

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Categories: Everything Else
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Before and After Toy Wipes

February 4th, 2009

Before and After Wipes

This brand of toy cleaner no longer exists. You can use Afterglow Wipes (afterglow wipes) or Lovehoney’s Wipes (check out my review) to clean your toys and intimate areas, however.

Up until recently, I wasn’t using anything special to clean my toys, just soap and water. Actually, I didn’t really like having to run to the bathroom for clean up so I would often toss my used toys back in the box haphazardly and I wasn’t very vigilant about cleaning before use. As I type this, I actually find myself shaking my head. This definitely was not the safest or healthiest practice to be in and although I was improving, I wanted something even easier so that I would have no excuse not to take care of my toys ans Before and After Toy Wipes really fit the bill.

My search for a toy cleaner started at the bottled solutions but it seemed like they were still a hassle because you need some sort of lint-free cloth. So I opted to go with wipes and these are in fact made by the same company as Before and After cleaner which I also know is really popular. For me, I think wipes are much preferable.

My travel size packet contained 10 single-use wipes which are generously sized at 8″ x 6″.  These are much bigger than, say, moist towelettes and when you consider the area which some toys have, this is important. They’re also much thicker and more like fabric. The wipes are also lightly scented and I find the sweetness to be a little out of place. I think I’d rather use an unscented wipe and I did find that certain materials, like silicone, inherited the scent after use. One thing I like is that the packet is resealable. Lift up the flap to remove a wipe and press it back down. I have used almost all of the wipes and the flap still sticks perfectly so the wipes stay moist.

This is not rocket science. If you’re ready to use a toy, wipe it down. Let it dry and have fun (which is exactly what the packet says). Or, if you’re all done, wipe down, let dry and store for next time. These wipes take care of any lube, body fluids, lint, hair or dust which may be attracted to your toys (especially silicone vibrators and dildos). I was concerned about whether or not it was safe to use these without rinsing, especially because these wipes leave an extremely visible filmy residue. So, I have rinse with water sometimes which is okay because it’s still less work than cleaning but it’s hard for me to not rinse something when I can see the residue. With that said, I have used my toys without rinsing and I have experienced no adverse reactions.

The ingredients is small if not full of long words and includes:

Water

  • Cocoamidopropyl PG-Dimonium Chloride Phosphate
  • Benzyl Alcohol
  • Disodium EDTA
  • Fragrance

I assume the alcohol is what is doing the cleaning in this product but that doesn’t mean the toys are sterilized; if you can go one step further and periodically boil or bleach your toys, I would.  After using these wipes, I have noticed no ill effects on any of my sex toys. I’ve used these wipes on plastic, glass, elastomed, and silicone and they have worked well. I would use one wipe to give a quick wipe down before use and after, but these wipes are meant to be single-use.

The wipes especially worked well when it comes to cleaning up after anal play. They made short work of the messy situations that sometimes arise with sex. I know Before and After cleaner is often recommended for the removal of smells, and with some elbow grease, the wipes did a good job of this but did not completely eliminate some smells. I wanted to toss these in the toilet afterward (and I did, actually)  and I’m not sure how safe that was. A wipe that is completely safe to flush (and said so) would be awesome.

I also don’t know if these are safe to use on me, which I didn’t, but many wipes can be used on both skin and toys.

Although I don’t have any real complaints with Before and After Toy Cleaner wipes, and they are definitely better than my previous cleaning routine, there are a few improvements that could be made to really buy my loyalty. If Classic Erotica were to ensure that these wipes could be flushed, eliminate the scent and film and clarify whether they’re safe to be used on the body, this would be an unbeatable product. As is, I would probably invest in these wipes again because they are just so easy and efficient to use.

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Categories: Non-Sex Toys, Reviews
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Respect, and how not to earn it

February 1st, 2009

A while ago (months, I guess) I became a member of TooTimid’s forums. I had found the site a while back when looking for sites which use sex toy reviewers (I applied, twice, and heard nothing back). I took a bit to get around to joining the forums and I found a fairly active community which was sex positive if not as contemporary as some. I enjoyed it, nonetheless.

After joining, I put my blog URL in my signature. I soon received a private message from the person who I assume is the site owner which said I could not have the link in my signature but it would remain in my profile. I was fine with this.

Recently, I went to update sometihng else my profile and realized my URL had been removed; I can only assume this happened back when I first joined and I had not realized it. I updated my information, added my URL back in and soon received another private message. The owner (again, my assumption) thanked me for being an active part of the community but said I could not have the URL in my profile and hoped I understood.

I did not and I very politely responded as such. I did not see why I could not link to my personal blog in my profile and, if he did not want that happening, he should edit the profile fields so it could not be entered. If he was worried about competition, I recommended increasing Too Timid’s reach and reputation as an online sex shop and community rather than being paranoid about personal blogs. I strongly suggested they reconsider what I think of as a ridiculous policy. I heard no response.

In fact, I have been suspended, without notification until “Dec 27 4746, 08:14 AM.” I can only assume that, by this time, I will be dead and Too Timid will be long gone as well. In fact, I doubt any humans will remain but I digress.

Rather than being mature, the powers that be chose to suspend an active and helpful member. I joined despite the fact that they ignored my requests to be a reviewer and gave my input to other members, helping them as I could. All I asked was to fill out a field in my profile which was, for lack of a better term, fill-outable.

This suspension really shows TooTimid’s true colours. This is not a company or site which supports community, in my mind. This is not how you spread the word of your company and make yourself viewed as a team player. This is not how you boost your reputation. No, this is how you alienate those who have the power to spread the word about your site (which TooTimid does seem to need; it’s not very well known despite the fact that it seems to have an active community and resources on its site). This is how you show that you are so insecure about what you’re selling that you must try to censor the mere mention of potential competition.

In fact, rather than ask how I think TooTimid might strengthen its public appearance or to do a link exchange, I was essentially banned without valid reason. It seems to me that not allowing for constructive criticism gets you nowhere fast. I can name quite a few historical figures who saw defeat because of this tactic.

Shortly before this happened, I was contacted by TooTimid on Twitter to be a reviewer (but no follow-up contact was made). I know I was not the only one. I had thought it was a step in the direction of community-mindedness. However, after this, I must caution anyone who might choose to review for or affiliate with Too Timid in any fashion. If this is how they treat an active community member, I am not sure how they would treat anyone else. If they is how they deal with a nonserious issue, I wonder what approach they will take with serious issues customers, reviewers and community members may have.

I cannot say the same for TooTimid, and while I also cannot force anyone to decline an opportunity (nor would I think any less of anyone who does review with them), I can warn that TooTimid has a long way to go before they are a company I can respect.

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Categories: Everything Else
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Woe is me!

January 28th, 2009

Feel free to pity me when you read my review of the Senso 6 Pak. I know I do.

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System Jo H2O

January 26th, 2009

System JO H2O
9.99 from Of Sex and Love Store

System Jo H2O is a water-based lubricant that aims to mimic the slickness of silicone-based lubricants while remaining odorless, tasteless, and tack-free. In these pursuits, I think System Jo H20 has performed admirably.

Packaged in a clear bottle with a fairly minimal silver and blue design, System Jo H2O comes off a bit futuristic to me. It’s not entirely discreet, nor does it scream “lube.” A person would likely be able to determine just what this bottle contains by its general shape but it’s not so gaudy that it would be necessarily embarrassing to have out. Complete with the narrow, push-top style cap, as opposed to the flip-top styles of many lubes, I find using this lube less messy. The cap style also helps to control how much lube is dispensed and I feel it’s very secure when closed; flip tops tend to leak if a bottle should tip. However, it’s not as easy to use as a pump.

When it comes down to it, System Jo H2O is a very good water based lube. It’s not as thick as some I’ve used, like ID Glide, so it may not be great for anal sex (System Jo does have an anal lube as well). However, it is very slippery and feels more like silicone lube. Despite being a bit thin, I’ve had positive experiences with it so far. It’s all I’ve used when inserting my rather well-endowed Passion Wave Stimulator, which has a circumference of 5 1/4″. This is definitely bigger than any other toy or penis I play with, so I feel confident that System Jo H2O will meet all my needs.

Although my sessions with the Passion Wave tend to be quick, they are hard and heavy with many quick thrusts. This lube has worked wonderfully. I have not had to reapply any time I have previously used it. Furthermore, the application doesn’t leave my hands sticky and goopy. This is one lube that comes through on its promises that it will not be tacky. For review purposes, I applied lube to my palm and rubbed my hands together quickly until the lube wore away. While it did not absorb completely – my hands felt slick, still – it did not become dry, clumpy or uncomfortable. I would recommend washing away any excess lube or the remains of the lube after play (soap and water will do the trick).

I have not experienced any negative results with System Jo H2O. It has been odorless and tasteless, as advertised. Although there is no ingredient list on the bottle except for Vitamin E (or on the website, it seems), I have had no bad reactions.

System JO H2O has proven to be a slippery lubricant that rises above other water-based lubes. It contains no oils or silicone, making it perfect for play with toys or partners, and it’s completely safe for use with latex condoms. The System Jo line of lubricants includes warming, and anal lube as well. Based on the high performance of System Jo H2O, I would likely consider System Jo over other lubricants if I were shopping, and I will probably stick to System JO H2O when it comes to water-based lubes..

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Categories: Lube, Reviews
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