It was the best of times, it was the worst of times

December 31st, 2008

To answer my own question, I’ve definitely had some hits and misses sex toy-wise this year. The Passion Wave and 24 Karat Gold Double Happiness were both hits in the sex toy department. I enjoyed the naughty tales in Five Minute Erotica as well as licking Raspberry Honey Dust off my partner. Shaving has become infinitely easier since I invested in some Coochy Cream as well.

However, there were some bumps along the way. Durex’s Play Vibrating Cock ring was disappointing, to say the least, and I expected a bit more from the Luna Beads (although it wasn’t a complete loss). I tried my first hands-free vibrator, the Venus Butterfly, to less than exciting results. Although I had heard good things about Wet Light lubricant, it just wasn’t up to par. Lastly, the Mini G Rock was an interesting but poorly designed toy that did nothing for my sexual satisfaction.

I’ve had a good year so far, and considering I just got into this reviewing thing, I only see next year topping it! I’d like to thank all the wonderful shops, including Babeland, GoodVibes, and Tabutoys, that supplied me with the toys (both good and bad) in return for my reviews.

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Five Minute Erotica

December 30th, 2008

I’m sure I’m not alone when I say that I sometimes feel as though I spend more time looking for masturbation material than I do actually using it. Although images and movies and literature are available by the truckloads online, it’s not always easy to find quality material (and, let’s face it, I’m cheap) which is free. While Five Minute Erotica isn’t necessarily free, it’s reasonably priced and will be your own volume to peruse on many occasions, which I believe you will.

Five Minute Erotica is full of – as you might have guessed – short stories and prose, also known as sudden fiction. Most of the nearly 40 stories range between one and five pages, so it’s perfect if you’re already revved up and just need something to get your engine going. Of course, if you want to read a handful of stories, this anthology will work well. However, this is probably not the type of erotica best for those who like lots of character development. While filled with characters and surprisingly powerful events and relationships, the point of this is not to be prolonged. If you know you want something quick and easy, this is it.

Also, while everything is sexual in nature, it’s not always about sexual things happening. Some of the stories simply show us glimpses into the sexual thoughts of characters, such as what they like or abstract memories. Sex isn’t always happening, but it’s there. When I began the book, I wasn’t in the mood, but a couple of stories helped to change it, and the short stories didn’t require much effort from me as a reader to do so.

I liked that the stories’ authors, themes, styles, and formats were varied. Some dealt with sex with strangers or lovers and even voyeurism. One story was in the form of an e-mail between lovers, while another used only commas for punctuation. Written in third and first person, by women and men, there really is a little bit of everything here. I would guess that most people would be satisfied (if they’re interested in this sort of thing) although I can’t guarantee you’ll like everything. I quickly skipped over a story that had toe-sucking in it (sorry, that’s a “No” thing to me), and, of course, there are some I forgot. Overall, however, I enjoyed this book, and it’s certainly of a higher caliber than what is readily available online.

Among my favorites was a story with tentacle sex, where a young woman who is driving becomes lost and abducted by aliens only to experience pleasure-giving mouths at the ends of tentacles. In A Closer Encounter, Blake C Aaren writes:

An infinite number of tentacles rove all over Tasha’s body. Stroking, caressing, inching. Nibbling. A tentacle of her own -of her wetness- trails down the inside of Tasha’s thigh.

This isn’t my normal flavor of erotica, but the writing did it for me!

I also really enjoyed a story in which a woman is dressed as a cat for a party and engages in intercourse with her partner. During the session, she acts and verbalizes as only a cat. I was intrigued by the role-playing in this story, Bad Kitty, told by Thomas Roche.

I wonder if it is a coincidence that the stories most memorable for me are written by men or, for that matter, that they are more unusual. I must say, though, that most of the stories are of a more vanilla style, which is fine by me but might be a little tame for some. Aside from some very light bondage, Five Minute Erotica does not cater to those with taboo or kinky fetishes. Still, it’s a good, light read.

Overall, I think Carol Queen did a good job as editor, picking high-quality stories by writers of all sorts of notoriety. She also contributed a piece herself – The Bounty of Summer – after which I will never look at fruit the same again. While I didn’t enjoy the first story being the one that uses only commas for punctuation (I found this a confusing opening piece), I found it easy to go from one story right into the next.

Other than that, I wasn’t distracted by language errors like I’ve done with amateur erotica in the past, which pleased me immensely. I did notice that the margins are rather small, and I wasn’t overly fond of the font used for headings and the table of contents.

Although I read this from beginning to end, you can easily pick up just about anywhere in the book, which is one of the pluses of such a gathering of stories. This would make a great book for partners to read aloud to each other (although I did not because it’s not our thing). Another plus is the author blurbs at the end of the book. If you really like an author, it can help to point you to their other published pieces.

The downfall of such a collection is that if you find something you like, it isn’t going to last forever. Also, if you want something, in particular, you might not find (enough of) it because this book does cram in such a variety.

This was a great foray into erotica for me. Now that I have read more erotica, I can confidently say that I look back at this book fondly–and keep meaning to reread it.  If you’re looking for something to get you in the mood for some playtime, whether alone or with a partner, consider Five Minute Erotica. The dozens of wonderfully self-contained narratives in this collection are sure to start the libidinous wheels a-turning.

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It’s that time of year..

December 30th, 2008

You know, the end of the year. So, why not some time for reminiscing?

What were your best and least toys (and toy experiences) this year?

Care to tell us about your best and worst sexual experiences?

Any other best and worsts that really stuck with it?

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What Is Normal?

December 27th, 2008

Spend anytime around adult communities, scratch that, any community on the internet and you will infallibly run across someone who wants to know if his or her behaviour or bodily characteristics are “normal.” Guys want to know if the angle of their penis is right, if the consistency of cum is average. Girls want to know if there’s something wrong with not being as sensitive or not being able to come from penis in vagina intercourse alone. What’s more, the same questions tend to be asked over and over.

Why? People want validation. As though, somehow, being told “It’s okay” by a stranger on the internet will alleviate all your worries. Unfortunately, that’s just not true and I have even worse news. Those who are quick to affirm that there is something wrong with you, are quick to tell you that their product is the miracle “cure.” Coincidence? I think not.

The truth of the matter is simple. There is no “normal.” There might be average. There might be things people will admit to being, doing or liking. There might be things people say apply to them in order to not stick out. There’s also a wide variety of things people won’t admit to, even anonymously. There’s also many things people do or like and they don’t quite know the word for them or don’t think to apply words to the activities. Even if normal were some tangible goal, we would never know what it is because there’s no way to quantify it.

What it comes down to is this: Stop asking if things are normal. It may seem that I am against asking questions or community support. The truth is far from it. I just support asking the right questions. I also recognize that there’s no use worrying about some things. We’re not all the same and sometimes it’s the quirks that set us apart.

So for those people who are quick to wonder if they’re normal, I must ask my own question? Does it matter? If you can answer “yes” to all the questions below, probably not. If not, there’s a little advice to be had.

Are you satisfied?
Even if your penis curves to the right or you like to be spanked in bed, it may not interfere with your overall sexual satisfaction. In fact, the opposite may be true. While I advocate exploration (in fact, exploration is one of those worrisome topics), if you’re happy, being “normal” doesn’t matter.
Is your partner happy?
Of course, it’s a little more difficult to be sure of this but, like any aspect of a relationship, fulfillment stems from communication. Ensure that you’re attentive and willing (eager is better!) to his or her (or their) needs and whether or not your cup size is average pales in comparison.
Are you being safe?
The pleasure of sex comes with its risks and STDs and pregnancy are both the least of the worries. When it comes to interests which can be harsh on your emotional or physical state, like BDSM, safety is a must. But if you’re careful about your sexual activities, you needn’t worry about how many people are doing them.
Is it healthy?
This is a question which I feel is extremely important to ask. While somethings do not have serious ramifications, health is a subject which should not be glossed over. If you have been dealing with issues such as painful intercourse or even inability to maintain an erection for a prolonged period of time, it may be best to consult your doctor.
Are you okay with it?
Sometimes, we just want to be like everyone else even if there’s no solid reason. This is why many grown men choose to be circumcised and some people op for plastic surgery. Even if you’re sexually satisfied, healthy and safe, your peculiarities might be worrisome. If you don’t feel comfortable in your own skin then, by all means, do whatever it takes to change that. Whether that means changing (what you can) or changing your attitudes about what you can’t, we all have the right to feel comfortable.

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Strange..

December 25th, 2008

I awoke, horny and wet. I had been dreaming about trying to fuck a man with a huge cock, bigger than is realistic. It wouldn’t work without lube, no matter how wet I was from looking at his cock. This man was not my type – he was bald and somewhat stocky. Yet, as he derobed from his layered, pinstripe suit (he was a moster, afterall), he revealed himself to be a thin man and, suddenly, appeared much more attractive.

Although, earlier in the dream he seemed to have control in a scary way (I had been taking a walk in the wrong place and he threatened to kill me but I used my powers of seduction to get away), it wouldn’t be that way now. I quickly had him restrained, using my under the bed restraints but he broke out. Yet, it wasn’t a bad thing. It was playful and arousing.

Like so many of my sex dreams, we never had sex. His cock rubbed against my vulva and I loved it but there was no penetration.  We met at least 3 times where we rubbed and sucked and kissed but there was no actual sex.

I awoke sexually frustrated and immediately went to the desk, where I had kept my brand new Layaspot. Within minutes, I was getting off.

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Luna Pleasure Bead System

December 21st, 2008

Lelo now sells three versions of Luna Beads, including an updated pair with silicone cord, Mini Luna Beads, and Luna Beads Noir.

When I requested the Luna Pleasure Bead System to review by Babeland, I expected a high-quality set vaginal exercise balls to facilitate Legels and possibly add pleasure.

In reality, I got a quality set of vaginal balls which may well help strengthen my PC muscles, but that doesn’t soar above comparable tools.

What I think is that the value of having two pairs of weighted balls is somewhat exaggerated, and while it sounds novel, there isn’t much to back up the claims. I would have been a little more satisfied with one set of balls because this is a solid product. I wanted to badly to love my first Lelo product, but unfortunately, I only like it.

What worked for me are the baby blue and pink pairs of weighted balls, which look quite elegant in their stretchy silicone holder (and stay in place due to notched ridges in the beads themselves) and the subtle movement of the balls within to remind me periodically of the balls within myself. I also enjoyed the sleek, white cardboard box in which the product arrived. This contained a black storage box with a tray for both sets of balls which is nondescript enough to keep on your bathroom counter or nightstand without drawing notice to itself and, if someone is curious, the balls themselves do not look like sex toys.

The white satin pouch provides even more discreet storage options and works well if you are traveling with your Luna Beads. However, the instructions and pouch are both stored beneath the balls and I didn’t even realize they were there for nearly a week! While I like the storage box, the plastic cover on top of the balls is quite difficult to remove sometimes.

What didn’t work so well for me was the bare retraction string, which felt unhygienic without a coating and sometimes cut into my finger during removal. The subtle “vibrations” of the inner balls were not pleasurable. The large size of the Luna Beads made it unnecessary to use my PC muscles to keep them from falling out. Removal also was difficult because there was a suction effect between the “crown” bead and my vagina, hence the string cutting into my finger (however, the string has proved strong thus far).

It was also difficult to insert initially (insertion proved easier over time). Don’t try it without lube!

The biggest problem with the Luna Beads is that the idea of incremental resistance to increase PC muscle control is dubious at best. Starting with the lighter beads and moving to the heavier ones would make sense if one or both pairs were of different sizes. Because they are so large, it’s not any harder to keep the heavier balls inside. The heavier balls don’t really offer any more ‘resistance”. There is no way the Luna Beads are going to fall out of anyone during normal activities. In fact, because it’s easier to feel the “vibrations” of the heavier balls, it makes more sense to me to start with them and move on to the harder-to-feel vibrations of the lighter balls once your PC muscles are strong.

Furthermore, although the instructions simply say the vaginal balls will work best during activities like running or swimming, these are not a passive tool, in my opinion. The instructions include no actual suggestions for activities to do when the Luna Beads are inserted and I think this would be valuable material.

While using the Luna Beads, I masturbated, peed, walked, sat, lay, and did other activities. I found them fairly comfortable but often forgot they were even in, which seems a bit counterproductive. They do make an audible sound when you’re moving, but once you add layers of clothes or background noises, others will not hear. While peeing, one ball did slip out, but I was able to stop it from falling out completely. Orgasming with the Luna Beads inside did not feel all that different than without.

Overall, Luna Beads are a quality product but the effect of having two pairs of weighted balls is minimal. I expected more from the two sets of balls and feel slightly disappointed in that respect. I would be more satisfied if this were simply one set of balls. As a single set of vaginal balls, the heavier of the Luna Beads does seem to work well. After using them about five times, I do feel I have more control over my muscles and I will continue to use them periodically. However, I am not overly put off because I do not feel I need to use vaginal balls.

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Hey Sex Bloggers

December 20th, 2008

Just curious – do you find your sex blogs are plagued with more spam or weirder spam than regular blogs? Mine sure seems to be.

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