The Gears are Grinding

September 18th, 2008

I’m writing articles and reviews in the back of my mind. In the mean time, I thought I’d share with you a cycle I notice that I’m in. It seems that the less I have sex, the less I think about it and the less I want to have it. The also seems to be true; the more I have sex, the more I want it and the more I think about it.

It’s sort of a curious trend but  not without it’s logic. The less time I spend having sex, the less time I think about having sex and the further away from the idea of sex I grow. The less time I think about sex, the more I spend thinking about other things and the more I concentrate on other subjects, the more subjects arise to keep my attention. As my mind distances itself from the subject, my body does, too which is a fair assessment when you consider that female arousal and sexuality is mostly mentally based.

On the other hand, the more time I spend having sex, the closer my mind is to the issue and it will be more easily aroused to continue having sex. The effect my mind has on my body is obvious. I’m aroused more easily and quicker to accept sex. When sex takes up a larger part of my mind, other subjects are forced out and I think of it even more.

The one thing I find interesting is that these trends don’t necessarily have a correlation with masturbation quantities although quality might be something different. If I am not having sex, I might be more likely to masturbate but if I’m not thinking about sex at all, I may be less likely to engage in self stimulation. The same lack of trend is apparent when I am having sex. An increase in sex may mean an increase in general arousal and thus more masturbation or it may mean that I’m being satisfied more and thus masturbate less.

I think the difference here is in purpose of masturbation. Generally, it’s just done to get off; it’s a mechanical motion rather than a passionate or emotional one. While self gratifying, it isn’t necessarily satisfying and I usually see it more as work than play time. Of course, this changes when I have more time and space and can make it more of an experience, I will go above and beyond the call of duty but this is not all the time.

It’s interesting to see how these trends and even the lack of trends about masturbation are so heavily connected to my mind. Of course, considering how deeply rooted in mentality female sexuality and orgasm is (which is another topic for another time), I shouldn’t be surprised.

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Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep

September 9th, 2008

There’s something so very satisfying, both sensually and emotionally, about lying next to someone else during night. Listening to him sleep makes my heart swell with the knowledge that he feels free to be so utterly vulnerable next to me in bed. Even more, that he wants to stay with me during the night instead of sneaking out will always bring a smile to my face. To know that not only is he comfortable but that he desires the closeness is wonderful.

And when it comes to sensuality and sexuality, it is also pleasing. When I see the profile of his face, his neck, his shoulders.. glistening slightly in the pale light, it always turns me on. To know that I could reach over and caress his wonderful skin or more and that he would more than likely respond in kind sends a tingle through my body.

I will never tire of lying next to him.

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Adrenaline Rush

August 12th, 2008

There’s something quite thrilling about being naughty when there’s a likely chance that someone could walk in on you mid-act or hear you through paper thin walls. There’s something to the act of stifling moans of pleasure that makes my blood run a little faster, my heart pump a little harder. Sometimes, when I’m really especially mischievous, I might increase my performance to put on a show for those who might be listening.

I know I’m not alone; there are many people who are fans of sex in public places for this very reason. There are many places with signs posted that sex is a criminal offense for this very reason, yet people still risk it for the rush.

Like any high, it’s addictive.

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If we cum together, would you like me better?

July 24th, 2008

Sex on an air mattress is different. There wass a certain fluidity to our movements. By design of the air mattress alone, my hips were positioned differently, coming up to meet his in a way that was similar but not quite the same as the way our hips met on a regular mattress.

The pressure of the mattress helped me to thrust upward easier, allowing me to do more of the work than I usually would while in missionary.

And thrust up I did, as my fingers pressed and rubbed my clit and pelvic bone. At first I thought I wouldn’t cum, as aroused as I was from his wonderful oral manipulations on my clit beforehand, but then I felt it building as I thrust up and again, fucking him in a way I normally couldn’t, in a way that brought more pleasure to us both.

He moaned then, saying he was going to cum, his way of indicating we would need to slow down if I wanted this to last longer. But I didn’t. I wanted to cum and if it was going to cause him to do the same so be it.

He moaned as he came, spilling hit warm seed inside of me in shocking amounts. I was too busy to notice as I came myself, fingers around my clit. I felt the contractions of my pussy, skin twitching involuntarily from my orgasm.

It was then I noticed how wet I was from his cum. Or was it mine? It didn’t matter. We had cum together, our bodies giving the other pleasure in such a natural, simultaneous way as we had never experienced before.

I quite think I do like this way better.

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Sex Toy Parties: Fun but Not Financially Feasible?

July 22nd, 2008

I love the idea of sex toy parties, they’re great avenues to loosen up and enjoy yourself, bond with friends, get answers to questions you were afraid to ask and explore sexuality.

The party I went to was pretty fun with some people I knew and some people I didn’t. The consultant knew more than I expected her to know about the products. For instance, she mentioned not storing jelly toys together because they could melt together and had an example of a toy which had been stored close to another one. While this was really helpful to sex toy beginners, and she even mentioned some things I didn’t know, more definitely could have been said about materials in terms of health and safety. Of course, how educational the party will be depends full on how educated the consultant is. Your party experience will definitely vary.

Of course, these parties are not all about fun and games. They’re about money and you will constantly feel the pressure to buy in the back of your mind. The more money you spend, the better prize your friend, the host, will earn and the more the consultant will pocket, like any at-home party sales scheme.

Also, like many of those companies, the prices supported by sex toy parties are simply outrageous. The markup is anywhere from 10% – 90% compared to the exact same products, which can be purchased online or in stores that also have a larger variety.

I also find these catalogs lacking in variety. Many of the toys are low-end, from no-name manufacturers. I’m not a die-hard brand lover by any means, but I do appreciate being able to see some of the brands with which I am familiar and also brands that I know are high-quality.

You won’t likely see some of the newer, quality toys in the catalogs pushed on you at sex toy parties. Fun Factory toys and VixSkin dildos won’t be found at a sex toy party. Rechargeable toys won’t have their own page, and BDSM toys won’t be the kind to stand the test of time. More parties are starting to realize the worth of high-quality materials like premium silicone, metal, or glass, but I don’t recall seeing any toy made of those items at the party I attended.

Even when parties do carry more high quality items, the prices for inferior products are not good for your wallet. An investment of that measure and you want to ensure you’re getting quality products, a good value. Sex toy parties, more often than not, do not provide this value.

But should we boycott the parties? Not at all. They’re fun and offer opportunities to learn and shop that may not be found elsewhere. But before signing a check, it’s advisable to surf around online to see if you’re really getting a bargain or if you’re being taken.

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All that’s needed is a little imagination

July 18th, 2008

Regina Lynn, columnist for Wired.com’s Sex Drive recently wrote an article entitled “Keeping the Fireworks Going from Afar” which touches on the sex technology that caters to or, rather, fails to cater to long distance couples. While I can’t agree that more technology couldn’t hurt, I think that if you’re experience any sort of boredom or strain in your relationship, you just ain’t doing it right.

Maybe I’m spoiled by the internet and phone as a communication medium between as I simply love the linguistics that go with it. The opportunity to ponder words, to careful hone the creation that will be your response to your lover while someone who knows you perfectly -yourself! – tickles your body pink.

I’ll admit, during cybersex I have more than once logged onto Thesaurus.com, expanding my vocabulary as I looked for scintillating words to turn on both my partner and myself.

I love having the opportunity to consider someone’s word, to draw a picture with them in my mind, a picture devoid of the unpleasant accidents and awkward moments physical sex brings with it. A picture hand-tailored to my fantasies.

The ends of which is both physically and emotionally satisfying, if done right. I have known what it is to make love with words, to know someone’s thoughts and feelings about sex, about me, not just their thoughts of my body and the feeling of their skin.

The sheer excitement to know that I can send someone into a frenzied state of arousal based only on the words I type (the words I think) or the words I moan breathily into the telephone is overwhelming, an aphrodisiac in its own right.

There are no physical limits in this realm. If you let yourself succumb to it, you can go to places you’d never otherwise experience. There is no pressure besides the motivation to excite your partner – and yourself – as much as humanly possible by bringing forth eloquent words heavily laden with sexual promise. Multiple orgasms are more than achievable here and every body looks, smells and feels delicious.

No, the only limit is your imagination.

And if you find your communication becomes tedious and boring even distant, then I suggest not that you pick up a remote-enabled vibrator. No, what you need is to pick up a book, see a play, attend a concert or otherwise submerge yourself in the arts. Rekindle the flame and passion that is your creativity because that, my friends, will far outlive any vibrator, dildo or Weighted Companion Cube.

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By any other name

July 17th, 2008

He moaned my name.

I moaned his in return, louder.

His reply, my name again, even stronger.

We moved together, the names of each on the others’ lips.

His voice was hot and heavy in my ear; I felt my arousal growing even more as he thrust his cock in and out of me, the sounds of our names to our ears driving us into a frenzy, reminding us very well of who we were with.

Naked, our skins coated in sweat (I had just taken a shower but the time had not yet come to care that I ruined it), it was just the two of us, together.

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