Cutey Wand

June 22nd, 2012

Cutey Wand

Cutey Wand
from

This is an archived review of a discontinued item.

I don’t own very many wands. There used to be, like, two: the Hitachi and the Hitachi knockoff. Now, there’s a lot. There are luxury ones, rechargeable wands, and mini options, like the Cutey Wand. So, the Cutey Wand. It’s tiny and got little jewels on the end. I’ll give it cute. I’ll give it wand-shaped. The naming isn’t spectacular by any means, but it’s not quite as annoying as we’ve all seen.

When I say tiny, I mean slightly longer than my finger. This is a pretty travel-friendly toy, if you only consider size. The dial base isn’t the easiest to accidentally turn on while sitting in your purse, but there’s no lock feature. Like the larger cousins, the Cutey Wand has a flexible head. It’s extremely flexible, in fact. You might not like this if you like a lot of pressure, which I do.

The head has a soft silicone casing with ridges along the side. I have to be honest, I’m not sure what the ridges are supposed to do. They’re visually interesting.. sort of, but they don’t add anything. I’m more likely to use the very top of the head or maybe the top edge. The head doesn’t have as much of a surface area as a larger wand, but I’m probably going to hold it in place rather than move it so I can feel the texture. It’s also potentially a place for you to miss when cleaning the wand, which is a bit frustrating.

However, cleaning is much easier because the Cutey Wand is water-resistant. You don’t want to try to drown it, but you can breathe easy that you’re not going to break it if you rinse off some gunk under the faucet. This is thanks to the O-ring at the end of the battery compartment, which easily screws on.

And those batteries? They’re six watch batteries. If they fall out, it’s really a hassle to get them back in there. You might consider just throwing it away once you use up the batteries, because it’s such a pain. Because the wand uses tiny watch batteries that won’t last forever, I can see this being the type of vibe that winds up in the bottom of some drawer after you use up the included batteries. It’s probably not a good selling point, but it’s true.

Those six batteries take up enough space that Blush Novelties could’ve just used a single AAA or AA. That would probably offer more power. The vibrations are advertised as powerful, but they’re quite buzzy. The few extra batteries are an improvement over those tiny bullets, but there’s not enough variation between the lower and highest settings. Of course, this one doesn’t have any pulsation or other settings, which is fine by me. I usually find them forgettable.

So, aside from size, I’m not really floored by the Cutey wand. At the very least, I want something stronger, and even if I were okay with the vibrations, the sheer number of required batteries is ridiculous. I mean, you have to buy two three-packs every time your vibrator dies. That’s not cool, man, not cool.

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The First Almost-Love

June 19th, 2012

When I was fourteen years old, I met a boy. We shared a morning gym glass and, somehow, forged a friendship talking about HTML and Web pages, while I tried to ignore how utterly untalented I am at the physical feats that I was expected to do in said gym class. At the time, I was probably in some on-again, off-again online relationship with an ex, but I thought that this boy was nice and sort of cute. I remember IMing with one of my good friends, having one of those typical teenaged girl conversations. Did she know who he was? Did she think he was cute? I was sort of, kind of thinking of seeing where things went, you know, romantically. Oh em gee.

This was really the first time when I considered that I might be someone who someone else could like. That I wasn’t as defective as I’d previously thought. That I could have real life romance, just like in the movies where teenagers in high school had romance!

So, I talked to this boy. He would meet me after every class. We’d hang out during study halls, and he would walk me home from school, as I lived close enough to walk. It was flattering, and then it wasn’t. Then it became too much. I needed space. I wasn’t just being turned off. I was feeling almost frightened, because I was out of my element. Then, one day, he wrote me a note. Now, this isn’t a big deal because he wrote me a note. This is a big deal because, in this note, he pretty much confessed all his love for me.

I was barely ready to say maybe I liked him. I couldn’t handle this love. So I did what any teenaged girl would do. I freaked the fuck out and talked to another guy friend. I asked him could he talk to my newfound stalker and tell him that I needed space? Of course, he said. And he did. I don’t know what was said, but I do know that my new friend didn’t talk to me for several months. In fact, it would take the tragedy of 9/11 to reunite us. He would apologize for coming on too strong, and I would apologize for freaking out and not talking to him like an adult.

For years, I joked about my friend-turned-stalker-turned-friend, and we’re great friends now. He’s one of the few offline friends who know about this blog, the sex toys, the reviewing. But I had no idea that this boy from gym class would become anything that he has been to me over the years. We’re at a point where we could never go back. Because we weren’t able to become romantically involved then, we’ll never be able to now.

I suppose there is a lesson in all of this, but I’m just not sure what it is. Mostly, I’m just glad that I have an interesting story to tell, something to remember and make me think “I was alive.”

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Naked.com

June 13th, 2012

Naked.com

Naked.com
$24.95/month from Naked.com

Naked is another BangBros property, but it’s a little different from Dancing Bear. The free website is a live cam girl site, where you can log on and find a lady who catches your eyes. Then, you can chat with her and other viewers. The women are usually in lingerie or naked, and they flirt and chat on cam, while you can encourage them to do more or go private if you pay via the tip system. Each cam performer has a set of featured photos that all free members can use. IF you want a one-on-one cam session, you’ll have to pay. It’s pretty standard as far as live sex sites go.

There’ve been several dozen models on every time I’ve checked it out. They’re mostly females; however, the website actually has sections for SheMales, MILFs, BBWs and Latinas. Those are all technically females, so the categories seem a little arbitrary, but it’ll make it easier to find what you’re looking for. The girls category itself is split up into age, content and physical characteristic groups.

The videos all play within your browser, so there’s nothing to download. They all loaded almost instantly for me, which is awesome. However, the quality will vary depending upon the model’s webcam, and they sometimes don’t position them in the best. The same quality issues all affect audio. By default, the videos load in a pretty small area; although, you can click to expand them. Low-quality videos will look better smaller, of course.

You can sign up for the premium Nake membership to download or play HD videos. This uses the same hub as Dancing Bear, so I won’t rehash everything. The premium membership offers actual porn featuring some of the Naked girls, rather than the cam-from-home style. It’s probably the best way to get more from your favorite Naked model. The membership goes for the same $24.95 per month as Dancing Bear.

This cam sex website is more up my alley. It’s a little easier to find something that I personally like, and I prefer watching a woman masturbate or even just hearing her chat to the CFNM style of Dancing Bear. Nake is surprisingly easy to use, and it seems like there’s always someone on the website. There’s even a supportive community feel that the other chatters provide as they communicate and chat with Naked’s models. The categories allow you to navigate pretty easily.

Obviously, registering gives you access to your own username, which some models require before you can participate in chat. Loading your account with tips will allow you to request activities and poses of the models. However, Nake is also a pretty good source of quick and dirty masturbation fodder. Your luck may be more hit or miss if you go the free way, however. There’s sometimes more talk than action but, then again, you can always open your wallet to solve that problem.

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Dancing Bear

June 10th, 2012


$24.95/month from Dancing Bear

I may be a sex toy reviewer, and I may have enjoyed some porn in my time, but I’m definitely not familiar with all the Internet has to offer. After all, if it exists, porn can be made of it, or so they say. This appears to be the case with the folks behind Dancing Bear. The website offers CFNM Movies, which stands for “clothed female, naked male” and the naked male is actually some guy with a stuffed bear head who visits bachelorette parties and the like. It’s really not for me, personally. I prefer more penetration and naked everyone.

So the front page gives you a pretty good idea of what’s going on. Crazy college girls and women enjoying a night on the town get to watch the Dancing Bear shake and strip. It doesn’t lead to PIV sex, as far as I saw, but there’s a lot of oral–by them, to him–and sometimes anal. It’s not necessarily ‘softcore’, but I can see why it would be right up someone’s alley.

Content aside, the website is pretty typical. The main domain has a splash page, featuring images from videos. The bear is ripped, yo. You click past that to see some sample videos and images but, of course, the real deal is the membership. An ugly, giant blue link tells you how to get your password. The same link allows you to log-in; although, you have to click yet another link to finally sign in. It’s a bit annoying.

A 2-Day trial costs just $1, which I think is a pretty fair price. If you don’t like it, you’re only out a buck. The monthly membership is more affordable, at $24.95, while a year subscription is the most wallet friendly at just under $10 per month.

Once you sign up and log in, you’re brought to a hub powered by BangBros, the folks behind this Party CFNM website. The member’s areas shows what other people are watching and, by default, the newest Dancing Bear vids. You can re-organize it, of course, so if you’d prefer to see the most liked videos from the past month, that’s possible. It’s all pretty standard and easy to use.

If you just subscribe to dancing bears, you’ll see links to other genres or porn and stars, which may not be part of your membership. This could potentially become confusing; however, clicking these links will bring you to a page to purchase that additional content.

When you find the movie that you want to watch, you have multiple options. SD or HD videos are available, depending upon your monitor and Internet connection. You can also download a trailer, which is a feature that I like, or browse by chapters to find the exact content that will get you off. Dancing Bear allows you to easily navigate between full movies, trailers and chapters, which is handy.

You’re able to download videos in multiple file types to save for later, or view the MP4s in your browser, which I had no trouble doing. Some videos had only WMP files, which prompted Chrome to allow them to run. I’m not sure what exactly is up with the inconsistency. However, I experienced no lag for the light or medium videos on my cable connection.

The HD movies had no lag, but they didn’t load fast enough for me to skip through them, which is to be expected. The HD isn’t actually pixel-perfect HD, in my opinion. It’s good quality but could be better.

All of the videos have an amateur feel to them. Many seem to come from cameras that are mounted on a wall as to be out of the way, and the lighting isn’t always the best, but it’s far better than some porn I’ve seen. There’s no plot, and a lot of yelling from the watchers, so you may not love this type of porn if you prefer sensuous music or to hear the performers moan. On the other hand, it’ll sort of sound like you’re watching a sports match and not some porn. If you do find one that you especially like, you can add it to your favorites with ease.

Of course, the women aren’t performers, but the Dancing Bear men are. You can sometimes tell, as the man moves the women out of the way for the better camera angle. There’s definitely an air of “I’m just getting paid for this”, sometimes. Everyone has fun, and there’s a lot of laughter, but it’s not as genuine as some people might like. For example, I didn’t see a single clit get rubbed. So sad.

I think the following image depicts this critique pretty well:

I did have some trouble viewing the screencaps and videos in Firefox and Internet Explorer. Some scripts didn’t work and IE didn’t want to play the MP4 videos, but that might simply be an issue with plug-ins on my end. Everything was smooth in Chrome. However, I noticed a significant number of broken images and videos when I tried to look at movies in chapter view, which was my favorite. This definitely disappoints. Depending upon how your browser handles broken images, this might simply seem like the page isn’t fully loaded.

Ultimately, Dancing Bear might be your cup of tea, and the website is easy enough to use. It has all the features of comparable sites. However, the inconsistent file types and broken videos and images really drag it down and make it seem unprofessional.

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Picobong Moka

June 9th, 2012

PicoBong Lelo

PicoBong Lelo
$59 from PicoBong

I could probably tell you to save some time by reading this review and send you over to Lilly’s, because we came to most of the same conclusions. This was my first Picobong toy, and I’ve declined to review them in the past because they seemed too weak for me. I generally prefer toys that have more power than AAA batteries have to offer, but I was also intrigued by the shape of the Moka. It’s similar to the Ella or Gigi, other toys by Lelo that people have really liked in the past. Since I hadn’t had a chance to try the shape, I figured the Moka would be a chance to do so.

In fact, this toy is retailing from $42 to $60, so it’s much cheaper than the Gigi. Although, the Ella still costs a pretty penny less, if you don’t need vibration. The Moka consist of a curving shaft and an intensely angled head that is larger than the shaft. The head is pretty “long”, I guess you’d call it, from the side. This toy definitely hooks onto your pubic bone. So, while it’s not very wide at any point. The widest point of the shaft is 1.5″, and I’d guess that’s the head itself. The curving shaft tapers to a narrow 1″ just below the head; although, the base is slightly thicker. All in all, it’s not amazingly large.

But my G-spot hated it. The shape is just not.for.me. I can almost guarantee it’s because of my protruding pubic bone, but I think I’d personally be better off with any straight vibe. I know that other people will like the shape, but I can’t. Ever. With that said, Lilly liked it because it was larger than the Gigi, so you might agree with her.

The vibrator is coated with a velvety silicone. It’s more smooth and rigid on the shaft, but there’s a tad bit more give on the head. It’s nice to hold. I got mine in the bright blue, and it’s super fun. Very Spring-like. As I mentioned, 2AAAs insert into the base. The cap has ridges, I assume to help you grip it. It’s not the type that unscrews, through. It simply does a slight turn to lock into place. I really hate this type of battery cover. It’s finicky to get into place and they don’t always click or make a sound to let you know. I’d rather screw the cap on a couple times. Aside from that, battery insertion was fine.

To control the Moka, you press the buttons on the bottom of the shaft. Now, technically, they’re where you might insert the vibe. Folks going for G-spot stimulation might not insert it more than a few inches, but the entire 6″ or so of the shaft is not technically insertable because of this, not if you want to change settings, anyway. Three buttons exist. One to increase strength, one to decrease and another to switch modes. The buttons are raised from the shaft, so they’re easy to find. They also make an audible clicking sound.

Moka’s vibrations are buzzy and make my hand tickle, but they’re stronger than I expected. There are eight levels of standard vibration and many pulsation and escalating modes. I couldn’t count them all. There were too many that were too similar, and it seems like I needed to sometimes push the mode button two or three times to get it to change, which is frustrating. My finger needs to push from exactly the right angle; otherwise, it stays on the same setting. That’s pretty frustrating, but it’s nothing like my Mimi.

On a few of the special modes, the motor did that horrible ‘digital whine’ that used to occur with all Lelo toys. This is incredibly disappointing. It’s a bit loud, in terms of buzzing, to begin with, but that sound is like nails on a chalkboard to me. If someone asks what sound makes me want to gouge my eyes out, I’d reply with “Lelo’s whiny motors.” It doesn’t bug everyone, but it might make your dog go insane.

Before I wrap this up, I must explain the confusion that is the keychain/cellphone decoration. There’s a loop on the end of the Moka, and the toy comes with a little PicoBong logo attached to a nylon cord that is looked through it. It’s like a cellphone decoration, if you had a cell phone when you were 13 (please don’t do this as an adult. It makes you look like a joke!), but it reminded me of a keychain. It felt like I should use it to hang my PicoBong from my keys or wallet or belt loop and carry it around on my person. It obviously has to go, because it would be annoying, at least, during use. I’ll probably throw it away.

So, Moka. It’s not for me, but I can see why someone else might like it, and it’s probably a better bargain than Gigi.

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What Sex Bloggers Need to Know About Web Hosting

June 4th, 2012

A while back, I posted about the WordPress database. It’s a must-read if you’re using WordPress, moving to WordPress or just want to know how the script works. While there are many, many outlets that shed a little light about hosting, domain names and installing blog scripts, but I’ve noticed that many of my peers feel more comfortable finding this information from someone within this group. I am more than happy to supply the information I know, and I hope it helps.

Today’s topic is web hosting:–the what, when, how, how much and why of it–and how any of that applies to us, as sex bloggers.

What is Web Hosting?

If you use the free version of Blogger or WordPress, then your host is technically Blogger or WordPress, respectively. These companies save your website content and data to their servers in a way that is accessible to any Joe Schmoe on the Internet.

How Does It Work With My Domain?

This depends. A lot of registrars now allow you to buy domains and hosting, which means you’re pretty much set right off the bat, without a lot of effort on your own part. I use a separate host and registrar, because that’s how it was done when I got into this scene. If you do that, then you’ll register an account with each company and enter the nameserver data, which you can find in the control panel of your host, into the DNS area in your registrar’s control panel. Either way, your domain will take up to 72 hours to propagate, that is, for the Internet indices to update with the new information about your domain name and which server it should point to.

Why Would I Need a Host As a sex bloggers, there’s pretty much only two reasons why you need a host:

  1. Your current host will no longer allow adult content
  2. You want more space or freedom to alter your website directly with HTML, PHP, CSS et cetera

What Do I Need to Know When Shopping for Web Hosting?

You need to know which hosts allow adult content. Unfortunately, this is easier said than done. Terms of service may not adequately explain what content is permitted. If you’re unsure, you should absolutely call or email the company and ask. A host might allow you to get away with some sex toy reviews, erotic pictures or porn, but then your host might suddenly deactivate your account and offer no help when it comes to downloading all your content. That’s pretty much the best case scenario. If you don’t already have a backup, you could stand to lost all your hard work, which has already happened to a few sex bloggers and toy reviewers who used Blogger (others have just been forcibly placed behind the warning page).

You need to know what you’re going to do. For example, maybe you’ll just install WordPress and use that to do everything. That’s fine. All you really need, then, is a host with PHP and MySQL support, and that’s pretty much every host out there. In fact, many hosts make it super easier to install WordPress with installer suites like Fantastico; although, the basic installation is so easy I could do it in my sleep!

On the other hand, if you want to run several websites across multiple domains, with a variety of scripts, then you’ll need more–more domain support, more allowed databases, more bandwidth (data transfer) and more hosting space. You’ll see that all types of hosting, including shared, resellers, dedicated servers and virtual privates servers (VPS), offer tiered plans. Essentially, the hosting plans offer more features for more money, so if you need to add more domains, the best plan for you might cost more than the sex blogger who only wants to run a single domain. Similarly, if you plan to upload many photos or videos, you may need more space and bandwidth:

Adriana’s recommendation: Most sex bloggers need no more than 500-megabytes of space. In fact, it’s what I host most of my sites on, and I’m only using a little more than half of that. If your prospective host offers hosting plans catering specifically toward blogs or WordPress, there’s probably less space than “regular” plans, but you might not even notice.

Finally, hosts offer hosting on different server platforms. Again, for a blog, you probably don’t need support specifically for ASP or the .NET Framework. Most hosts default to Linux because it’s stable, and your host’s operating system has nothing to do with the operating system on your personal computers. I have always used Linux, and some users report that WordPress runs a bit more quickly on this OS.

Is There Anything Else You’d Like to Say About Hosting?

Yes. Let me impart you with a few tips:

  • Many hosts offer discounts with promo codes that you can find on sites like RetailMeNot
  • Some hosts offer automatic backup services, and will restore files should a server glitch, hatch or user error occur.
  • If you’re using WordPress, you can install many nifty plug-ins to automatically email yourself a copy of the database or upload a copy to your host’s server for redundancy
  • You can upload files to your host’s server through WordPress, the control panel (cPanel is so ubiquitous that its name has become synonymous for all hosting control panels, regardless of actual software name) or FTP. File transfer protocol programs are the way to go, because it’s ridiculously easy to upload, download or edit multiple files simultaneously. Adriana recommends Filezilla.
  • If you start out with a smaller plan, your host will show your data and space usage, allowing you to determine if you should move up the tier of hosting plans.

Do you have any hosting-related questions that I haven’t covered? Sound off in the comments!

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Make love to your long distance lover online

Pure-Joy Pleasure

June 3rd, 2012

Pure-Joy PleasureThis is an archived review. Joyful Pleasures no longer exists, and I have since found out they are not a reputable company.

If you’re looking to buy similar glass toys, check out Lilly’s post on glass safety first!

Remember when I wrote that glowing review for the 24K Double Pleasure dildo? Well, I do! It was a fun review, and the manufacturer liked it to, so a second Joyful Pleasures dildo was soon in my paws. I chose this because the design seemed unique. It features five bulbs, but they appear almost angular in photos. It was something different. In person, the texture isn’t quite was I expected, but it’s still neat. Each bulb has a ridge around it, but it’s not straight. It dips down in the back and comes back up to a point in the front. To better depict this, here’s Disney’s Bella in her golden ball down. It’s like the details on the skirt of the dress:

It’s hard to photograph. I tried myself, but glass is always a little tricky, in my opinion. Anyway, the bulbs gently curve, making this a good G-spot toy. The shaft ends with a flat base. This dildo will sit up straight on your table; although, there’s no suction cup, so it won’t stay that way. The base make it safe for anal play and also offers a handhold for vaginal insertion. The shaft isn’t centered on the base, though. In use, I found this didn’t impede holding it; although, it’ll feel slightly off center.

Aside from the slight ridges, all the glass is smooth, so you may not need a lot of lube. I didn’t use very much myself. The shape of the bulbs and ridges isn’t that large. The diameter is 1.5″ at the widest. Of course, the shaft tapers beneath the bulbs, and you can definitely feel them. This makes the Pure-Joy Pleasure a good option if you want an anal probe type toy. You can take as many bulbs as you want, or just stick to the first one as you work your way up to it. You’ll get about 6.5″ of total insertion length, if you decide to go all the way with this one.

I tried this dildo only vaginally, and I didn’t love it quite as much as my other Joyful Pleasures, too. It was easy to feel each bulb and the ridges. The rigidity allowed for pretty intense G-spot stimulation, but it just wasn’t what I love. I think I prefer one defined head and a straight or gently curving shaft to all the activity of the Pure-Joy Pleasure.

Really, it’s pretty enough that I could use it as a paperweight, although I wouldn’t… Maybe you would.

One thing I love about this is that it’s super easy to clean. The slickness of glass is my friend. However, it does become slippery when cleaning or coated with lube, so you’ll want to keep a steady grip on this. The base absolutely does help. I would love to see Joyful Pleasure offering some sort of storage option. Even a thin bag would be nice. I tossed out the box, because it’s a little bulky, and I just don’t have space for it. If you’re really worried about your toy, then you might keep the box. I don’t like to do that. I feel like it’s mostly a waste of space.

So, would I recommend the Pure-Joy Pleasure? Not after I learned that the company was simply shipping mass-produced, low-quality glass  to consumers like myself.

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Image © MisterUnlucky; used with permission.