What Sex Bloggers Need to Know About Web Hosting

June 4th, 2012

A while back, I posted about the WordPress database. It’s a must-read if you’re using WordPress, moving to WordPress or just want to know how the script works. While there are many, many outlets that shed a little light about hosting, domain names and installing blog scripts, but I’ve noticed that many of my peers feel more comfortable finding this information from someone within this group. I am more than happy to supply the information I know, and I hope it helps.

Today’s topic is web hosting:–the what, when, how, how much and why of it–and how any of that applies to us, as sex bloggers.

What is Web Hosting?

If you use the free version of Blogger or WordPress, then your host is technically Blogger or WordPress, respectively. These companies save your website content and data to their servers in a way that is accessible to any Joe Schmoe on the Internet.

How Does It Work With My Domain?

This depends. A lot of registrars now allow you to buy domains and hosting, which means you’re pretty much set right off the bat, without a lot of effort on your own part. I use a separate host and registrar, because that’s how it was done when I got into this scene. If you do that, then you’ll register an account with each company and enter the nameserver data, which you can find in the control panel of your host, into the DNS area in your registrar’s control panel. Either way, your domain will take up to 72 hours to propagate, that is, for the Internet indices to update with the new information about your domain name and which server it should point to.

Why Would I Need a Host As a sex bloggers, there’s pretty much only two reasons why you need a host:

  1. Your current host will no longer allow adult content
  2. You want more space or freedom to alter your website directly with HTML, PHP, CSS et cetera

What Do I Need to Know When Shopping for Web Hosting?

You need to know which hosts allow adult content. Unfortunately, this is easier said than done. Terms of service may not adequately explain what content is permitted. If you’re unsure, you should absolutely call or email the company and ask. A host might allow you to get away with some sex toy reviews, erotic pictures or porn, but then your host might suddenly deactivate your account and offer no help when it comes to downloading all your content. That’s pretty much the best case scenario. If you don’t already have a backup, you could stand to lost all your hard work, which has already happened to a few sex bloggers and toy reviewers who used Blogger (others have just been forcibly placed behind the warning page).

You need to know what you’re going to do. For example, maybe you’ll just install WordPress and use that to do everything. That’s fine. All you really need, then, is a host with PHP and MySQL support, and that’s pretty much every host out there. In fact, many hosts make it super easier to install WordPress with installer suites like Fantastico; although, the basic installation is so easy I could do it in my sleep!

On the other hand, if you want to run several websites across multiple domains, with a variety of scripts, then you’ll need more–more domain support, more allowed databases, more bandwidth (data transfer) and more hosting space. You’ll see that all types of hosting, including shared, resellers, dedicated servers and virtual privates servers (VPS), offer tiered plans. Essentially, the hosting plans offer more features for more money, so if you need to add more domains, the best plan for you might cost more than the sex blogger who only wants to run a single domain. Similarly, if you plan to upload many photos or videos, you may need more space and bandwidth:

Adriana’s recommendation: Most sex bloggers need no more than 500-megabytes of space. In fact, it’s what I host most of my sites on, and I’m only using a little more than half of that. If your prospective host offers hosting plans catering specifically toward blogs or WordPress, there’s probably less space than “regular” plans, but you might not even notice.

Finally, hosts offer hosting on different server platforms. Again, for a blog, you probably don’t need support specifically for ASP or the .NET Framework. Most hosts default to Linux because it’s stable, and your host’s operating system has nothing to do with the operating system on your personal computers. I have always used Linux, and some users report that WordPress runs a bit more quickly on this OS.

Is There Anything Else You’d Like to Say About Hosting?

Yes. Let me impart you with a few tips:

  • Many hosts offer discounts with promo codes that you can find on sites like RetailMeNot
  • Some hosts offer automatic backup services, and will restore files should a server glitch, hatch or user error occur.
  • If you’re using WordPress, you can install many nifty plug-ins to automatically email yourself a copy of the database or upload a copy to your host’s server for redundancy
  • You can upload files to your host’s server through WordPress, the control panel (cPanel is so ubiquitous that its name has become synonymous for all hosting control panels, regardless of actual software name) or FTP. File transfer protocol programs are the way to go, because it’s ridiculously easy to upload, download or edit multiple files simultaneously. Adriana recommends Filezilla.
  • If you start out with a smaller plan, your host will show your data and space usage, allowing you to determine if you should move up the tier of hosting plans.

Do you have any hosting-related questions that I haven’t covered? Sound off in the comments!

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Pure-Joy Pleasure

June 3rd, 2012

Pure-Joy PleasureThis is an archived review. Joyful Pleasures no longer exists, and I have since found out they are not a reputable company.

If you’re looking to buy similar glass toys, check out Lilly’s post on glass safety first!

Remember when I wrote that glowing review for the 24K Double Pleasure dildo? Well, I do! It was a fun review, and the manufacturer liked it to, so a second Joyful Pleasures dildo was soon in my paws. I chose this because the design seemed unique. It features five bulbs, but they appear almost angular in photos. It was something different. In person, the texture isn’t quite was I expected, but it’s still neat. Each bulb has a ridge around it, but it’s not straight. It dips down in the back and comes back up to a point in the front. To better depict this, here’s Disney’s Bella in her golden ball down. It’s like the details on the skirt of the dress:

It’s hard to photograph. I tried myself, but glass is always a little tricky, in my opinion. Anyway, the bulbs gently curve, making this a good G-spot toy. The shaft ends with a flat base. This dildo will sit up straight on your table; although, there’s no suction cup, so it won’t stay that way. The base make it safe for anal play and also offers a handhold for vaginal insertion. The shaft isn’t centered on the base, though. In use, I found this didn’t impede holding it; although, it’ll feel slightly off center.

Aside from the slight ridges, all the glass is smooth, so you may not need a lot of lube. I didn’t use very much myself. The shape of the bulbs and ridges isn’t that large. The diameter is 1.5″ at the widest. Of course, the shaft tapers beneath the bulbs, and you can definitely feel them. This makes the Pure-Joy Pleasure a good option if you want an anal probe type toy. You can take as many bulbs as you want, or just stick to the first one as you work your way up to it. You’ll get about 6.5″ of total insertion length, if you decide to go all the way with this one.

I tried this dildo only vaginally, and I didn’t love it quite as much as my other Joyful Pleasures, too. It was easy to feel each bulb and the ridges. The rigidity allowed for pretty intense G-spot stimulation, but it just wasn’t what I love. I think I prefer one defined head and a straight or gently curving shaft to all the activity of the Pure-Joy Pleasure.

Really, it’s pretty enough that I could use it as a paperweight, although I wouldn’t… Maybe you would.

One thing I love about this is that it’s super easy to clean. The slickness of glass is my friend. However, it does become slippery when cleaning or coated with lube, so you’ll want to keep a steady grip on this. The base absolutely does help. I would love to see Joyful Pleasure offering some sort of storage option. Even a thin bag would be nice. I tossed out the box, because it’s a little bulky, and I just don’t have space for it. If you’re really worried about your toy, then you might keep the box. I don’t like to do that. I feel like it’s mostly a waste of space.

So, would I recommend the Pure-Joy Pleasure? Not after I learned that the company was simply shipping mass-produced, low-quality glass  to consumers like myself.

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Wet Naturals Beautifully Bare

May 26th, 2012

Wet Naturals Beautifully Bare

Wet Naturals Beautifully Bare
from

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

You’ve probably tried Wet Naturals. I say this with confidence because sex toy retailers like PinkCherry frequently send sample packets with your order. In fact, I have a few random flavored straggles in my nightstand. In fact, it was a packet of the silicone-based version that ruined my Spur. Third-world problems.

I’m not overly fond of the packets. They’re not super easy to use, and I can never get the right amount of product, so I was glad to try a full-sized bottle when the opportunity to work with Wet arose.

Let me preface this by saying I enjoyed the Beautifully Bare lube when I first used it. It was an interesting experience. My toys felt lubricated, but I couldn’t necessarily feel the lubrication. It was the most natural feeling lube I’d used. However, I just didn’t love it as much the second time around. I think it’s because it’s a thinner lube, and it winds up running down my toys and hands, making a mess. I’ve definitely come to like slightly thicker lubes better for playing with toys. When you consider that all my play involves toys these days, you can see how this would affect how I feel about this lube.

Although thin, it feels pretty slick at first. Unfortunately, it dries up right quick with a little friction. I don’t need a necessarily super long-lasting lube, but this will be a dealbreaker for some. There are longer-lasting water-based lubes, and, of course, silicone-based lubes will last much longer. The company does make a silicone-based variant in the Wet Naturals line, which has just five ingredients.

On the other hand, if you like a light lube, this one might do the trick. It’s compatible with all types of play and toy materials. It has no odors or colors, and the push-top bottle is easy to use, with a little indentation on the side, which makes it easier to hold. The embossed “Wet” logo adds to that, even if your hand is full of runny lube.

The ingredients list doesn’t include any sugars or parabens, but Wet Naturals does have a lot of natural extracts, including grape seed extract and aloe vera. Wet Naturals is also slightly cheaper from most retailers than other organic or sensitive lubes, so this might be a good alternative if you’re into that.

Compared to some of the other natural or organic lubes I’ve used, I like this a bit better. This is mostly because it’s truly tasteless and odorless and has no funky color. It’ll more than do in a pinch, but it’s not my favorite lube either.

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Want to Advertise on a Sex Toy Review Blog? Read This First

May 22nd, 2012

I am so incredibly grateful for the retailers, communities, video sites and other advertisers who have decided to purchase text or banner links on my website. It really helps pay the bills and lets me have a few extra dollars of expendable cash. However, sometimes the process of working with an advertiser can be pretty frustrating and awkwardly drawn out. I know that my fellow bloggers feel the same, and sometimes this is only because advertisers may not be familiar with working with individual bloggers like myself. Sometimes your offer is just not worth my time and effort for the money, and I think that says a lot. While I am grateful for your money, my time is valuable to me, too.

If you’re thinking about buying advertising for me, it’ll go a lot more smoothly if you keep these things in mind.

Price

When it comes to price, we expect a little bit of negotiating, but don’t be rude. Our space and time are important, and you shouldn’t pit us against other bloggers. It’s, quite simply, disgusting.

Furthermore, you should know how much you want to spend before you contact us. If we absolutely can’t agree on a price, stop wasting our time and let us know (see above).

Communication

If you want us to trust you, use an actual company email address. Better yet, we should be able to verify you work for a brand or its marketing agency on the brand website.

Be courteous in your messages and reply on time. We know things come up, but everyone should act professionally. If we have to send multiple emails, we will be annoyed. You would be, too.

Do not tell us you’ll get back to us “within a day” and not come through with it. You look like someone who can’t do his job properly.

Don’t give us the runaround about how you have to contact so-and-so. Just do it and then get back to us with the pertinent information.

Content and Anchor Text

When it comes to reading, take the time to read our blogs. Sure, I’ve listed a few anchors that aren’t exactly sex toys, but there are some topics that just don’t make sense for me to be writing about or linking to on Of Sex and Love.

Consider something other than “sex toys” as the anchor text. I understand the SEO value, but now more than ever, you want relevant links like your store or website name.

Payment

Pay promptly, whether it’s a one-time payment or a recurring plan. We shouldn’t have to nag you like a child.

Bloggers don’t typically fill out W9s, especially for payments less than $600.

Don’t send payment for renewed advertising if we haven’t agreed on it.

Miscellaneous

Even if your “sex toys” link makes perfect sense on my blog, you might not get links or sales. This isn’t my fault. You’re not paying for guaranteed clicks, just a link.

On that note, just because a blogger offers a sidebar link, doesn’t mean she will do sponsored posts. I do, but I may be the exception and not the rule.

As a blogger, we’re happy to talk about advertising. If you’re a sex toy shop, you might wonder if we also want to review. Please ask us before sending us toys. We may not want to review for you. Advertising and reviewing are two separate business interactions.

I may not own The New York Times, but I obviously have something to offer, if you’re interested in advertising. Be kind, be polite, and consider how you’d feel if you were in my shoes. A little courtesy always goes a long way.

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Make love to your long distance lover online

Tantus Acute

May 20th, 2012

Tantus Acute

Tantus Acute
$35.99 from SheVibe

Sometimes, there are things that you just don’t get from a product page. In the case of the Acute, a silicone dildo by Tantus, it’s all about size and texture. I always thought that this dildo was a lot bigger than it is. I tend to pay more attention to pictures than measurements, so I was pleasantly surprised after removing it from its package.

This little G-spot dildo is, well, little. With a total of 6″, five of which are insertable, it isn’t intimidating in the least. Plus, it only has a diameter of 1.25″ at its largest. This makes it great for people like me with picky cervixes. I don’t want to say this is necessarily good for beginners, but it might be the better option for an intro to anal play — if the length is long enough for that.

What also makes this piece appealing to me is its flexibility. It’s not the Super Soft because it uses a regular silicone treatment. It is, however, much softer than the Goliath. The silicone reminds me a lot of the Delta, but it’s thicker, so you have more control. For example, I can bend the base back during insertion to make it press toward my G-spot/front vaginal wall, but it’s still plenty firm enough that I can thrust effectively.

This one works as a G-spotter for me, but it might not for you if you required more girth, length or pressure. The head, although bulging slightly, it’s realistically contoured, nor does it offer a pronounced ridge or lip. Similarly, the curve is quite relaxed, unlike some G-spot toys. It’s also harness-compatible for vaginal or anal sex but, as I mentioned, it might be a little short for penetration from behind.

I got mine in the pearly white, which I love. There are more colors, but white doesn’t have gender connotations. It doesn’t quite seem the same shade all the way through. It’s almost marbled, but the purple seems to be even more so.

I notice that the base acts like a suction cup, especially when it’s wet. That adds a bit more function, but I prefer for G-spot stimulation while I’m lying down. This way, I can easily stroke and the Acute, although slimmer than some, was an effective G-spot toy. There isn’t the hole for a tiny vibrator, like Tantus offes in some of their dildos.

Overall, this is a good toy. It doesn’t necessarily provide anything more than any other toy I have, nor do it in a ground-breaking way, but my cervix does appreciate the combination of softness and shortness. I’m not sure if I would prefer this over my Faerie, however, but I don’t think Tantus is making that one anymore.

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Kissable Lace Babydoll & G-string

May 7th, 2012

Kissable Lace Babydoll & G-string

Kissable Lace Babydoll & G-string

This is an archived review of a discontinued item. 

This review has been a long time coming and.. well, er.. I don’t know why. I think it’s because I just really didn’t like it in person and, in hindsight, I’m not sure why I thought I would like it. I guess I thought the Kissable Lace Babydoll & G-string looked kind of elegant in the product image but, in person, that lace just looks cheap and tacky. It’s all “I’m a Halloween store up in here? Would you like some black lipstick with that, Adriana?” And I’m all “Shut up about my teenaged years, you’re a hunk of fabric.”

Not much fabric, really,which is my second problem. This is one size but, like my recent Coquette experiments, is too small around my 38″ ribcage. In fact, this one seems smaller than the other chemise. I’d recommend it for 36″ at the most. I’m thinking that someone in the 32-34″ range would be better. Because the waistband is just a thin piece of elastic, it cuts into the skin as you get closer to the top of that range and, “fits up to 48-inches”? Coquette, you’re a fucking liar. There is NO way in hell this is going to fit beyond 40″. This is truly a one-size-fits-few piece.

So, I do like the cups. I love the black lace over the red triangle pieces and they’re less discount-Goth feeling. The lace extends on the side in a way that I could do without but don’t hate. There’s a cute little red bow in the center. It’s definitely feminine. They’re also pretty small, at least, they seemed smaller on me than the model. With just the thin elastic, you can’t much count on any support. Again, Coquette has made the mistake of using in inflexible ribbon for the straps, which I don’t feel is really going to stay put when you move the adjusters. In fact, I like elastic straps; I feel like they support me better.

The lace from the waist down is free flowing, so ideally it would suit different body shapes if, you know, the top wasn’t so damned tight. It’s not very long at all, though. It really barely meets the hips, as you can see on the model. It’s this giant floral and mesh motif that is just not pretty.

The G-string isn’t the cheapest thing ever. It features the same lace overlay on the front panel, with a centered red bow. The G-string runs just as small as the babydoll, however, and is mostly elastic. I didn’t spend enough time with either piece to have to launder it, but I don’t think you’ll want to put it in the machine unless you at least use a lingerie bag. Hand washing would probably be preferable. The set is 100% nylon, which the Internet says can be washed in warm water and tumbled dry on low. I threw out the box because.. it’s lingerie and it doesn’t need to come in a fucking box that is made of more material than the product in it!

So is this kissable? If it’s some sort of kissing my ass on the way out the door, then yes. If you’re the 1% you might like it but, if you have any reservations, please get something less shitty than this.

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Tantric 10-Function Chakra Massager

May 3rd, 2012

Tantric Chakra Pink 10 Function

Tantric Chakra Pink 10 Function
from

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

There are those who say that a good bullet is something that everyone should have in their collection. I’m kind of a picky beast, but this one goes out to them. The new Tantric line of toys by California Exotics caught my eye. The pink and black is my kind of girly and there’s this element of filigree or something similar that’s really up my alley.

With this little bullet, which is larger than the ones by Tantus but more cylindrical than an egg, this design feature is on the handle. It looks like a solid layer of pink with black plastic wrapped around it. You can see through to the pink plastic through the open areas in the design, which are cut out. Now, if this was on the toy itself, I’d be a little wary of using it because of cleaning, but it’s not. Worked into the handle is a soft heart-shaped button. It’s actually kind of discreet, but you don’t need instructions to read it. This only adds to its feminine appeal.

The bullet itself is removable from the battery pack with that little jack. I’m not one to switch power sources and I do like the color theme, so this isn’t useful for me. It might be for you. This, paired with the battery cap, makes for a toy that’s not waterproof in the least. The cap screws off from the end of the pack but it’s the style that slides into place and only turns a little bit — like the Layaspot and a few other toys. I prefer a cap that fully screws on.

To its credit, the 2AAAs that power this pack a surprising punch; although, the vibrations are on the buzzy side. The pulsations were pretty impressive and there were multiple strengths of the same pulsation, which I liked. I’m not usually one for patterns but it worked with this bullet. Not all the patterns were as impressive to me.

The steady vibration left a little to be desired, though. It starts on the highest setting and goes down from there. Very few vibrations do that. I don’t want that. Consumers don’t want that. Although the highest setting is okay for a bullet, power queens are going to tired of it and want more, only to go “WTF?!”

After playing with this one for a while, my vulva felt all sorts of buzzy afterward. Although I did get off, it was mostly from a lot of boring into my pubic bone and less because of the bullet itself.

The bullet has a weird circumference seam around a quarter from one end. I can’t feel it in use, but it’s odd. While I do like the velvet cote in my hand, I also can’t feel it in use. The plastic does make clean-up a breeze but, like I said, be careful with the water.

Tantric 10-Function Chakra Massager doesn’t come with any accessories, but that’s not the end of the world. Just toss it in your nightstand or bag, and you needn’t even worry about lint.

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Image © MisterUnlucky; used with permission.