Categories
Reviews Vibrators

BSoft Burgundy

bsoft in Burgundy and Pink

bsoft in Burgundy and Pink
N/A from

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

To say that I like the new Bsoft rather than the original would be a drastic understatement, I think. Yet, I’m not entirely sure why I like it so much better.

Perhaps it is because the exterior is now coated in a super silky silicone that feels a little less.. clinical than the hard, smooth plastic of the first go-round. It’s definitely friendlier, somehow. It also seems to decrease the feeling that this is a hollow piece of crap. The super light and hollow feeling of the original was a let-down. Now, a sex toy doesn’t need to be heavy to work well but it just cheapened the feel.

While the shapes are definitely related, there are some definite improvements. The ridge on the bottom of the new Bsoft is more pronounced and runs the entire length of the bottom of the toy, rather than flattening out toward the end. In use, I find this makes it much easier to apply pressure the way I like; however, the tapered bottom still fits well between labia.

The old model had three buttons and this uses the bubbly buttons like on the BCurious. I like the buttons. They’re easy to find, are surrounded by an LED light and made an audible clicking noise when pushed. Great feedback there. Of course, one button servers as a master on/off while the other pages through settings so it’s not as intuitive as it could be but, hey, at least you can turn it off quickly.

The vibration settings on this one include three steady modes and four varieties of pulsation. One’s really quick, and the other is one of those buzz-buzz-buzzzz types but they’re kind of forgettable, in my opinion. I believe I wound up using the highest constant vibration setting and, let it be known, that this setting isn’t that high. For example, I’m still more impressed by the vibration of BSwish’s original bullet and, like many toys, the new Bsoft has moderately shallow vibrations that only get more shallow as you turn it up. Still, they don’t feel as shallow and empty as the original.

I think it has to do with the way the silicone transmits them and all that the new Bsoft uses its real estate better. What I mean by that is it’s not as big and hulking as the original (Kayla has some comparison pics here). Although they both seem to be the same length (I no longer have my original to verify), the second edition is just so much more compact. There’s not as much surface space to disperse and dilute the vibrations. Even though they’re clearly focused at the tip, away from the button, you can still feel them on the other end. It’s also much easier to wield. The bottom line, for me, is that the new Bsoft can get me off. Sure, not without some work, but its leaps and bounds better than the original.

For the strength of this toy, I do find the noise level to be a little high. Not wake-the-dead high but hmm-that’s-a-little-loud high.

I also like the design better. You can get it in a burgundy, like mine, or a dark blue with burgundy details. One improvement over the design is the location of the USB port. It used to be on the end of the toy with an oddly angled cover that rarely stayed in place. It’s been moved to the side of the vibrator with a flat port cover that lies flush with the toy. It sits in place much better and makes cleaning so much more easy!

While this sophomore attempt is a definite improvement, and I like it far more than the BCurious as well, it’s not the toy I’m going to reach for by default. Still, it’s also not one of those toys that I’ll never reach for again. How’s that for middle ground?

Categories
Reviews Vibrators

Turtle

Turtle

Turtle
N/A from

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

Papaya Toys garnered a lot of attention when they first emerged. Folks loved the whimsical designs, body-safe silicone and bright colors. I was not immune to this and lusted over the toys for some time. After the initial wave of toys went out to reviewers, the presses halted as the folks went back to work to tweak their toys a bit. I was impressed with a company who was actually listening to people like myself and was finally able to try out a Papaya Toy, the Turtle, recently. I want to say thank you to Pam and everyone at Papaya Toys for being so awesome for providing the product.

My first impression of Turtle, in its white and pink box, was positive. The packaging was pretty and the bright green turtle sat atop a black satin back. My package included a business card and the box itself had an introduction to the company and a separate manual for the toys (which all use the same controls). I didn’t take the time to read the instructions and I wish I had.

You see, the Turtle and its siblings have a unique bow-tie control that contains “two” buttons. The quotations are due to the fact that there’s obviously a third button in center.. or one of my buttons is off or extends too far to the middle. Regardless, this extra button clicks all on its own and seems to share some functions with the “+” button but doesn’t act as a master power button. So I spent a whole bunch of time trying to figure out why the hell they’d use three buttons.

I was doubly confused because the buttons function differently than most vibrators. I kept trying to push the buttons to increase vibration strength when pushing them changes modes (pushing the “-” button once actually turns the Turtle off) and holding them increase or decreases strength. This is a method that I don’t mind but usually throws me for a loop in the beginning.

So here I am, completely befuddled. It just doesn’t make sense. Two buttons would make perfect sense: the buttons would each be placed on the widest ends of the bow tie. Five buttons would be confusing but not as much as three: each vertex would house a button. But three? There’s a button on either end and one in the center, but the buttons are along one of the long edges of the bowtie, so it just feels.. confusing. Should there be more buttons along the other edge? Is this actually a button? Why does the power button not turn this thing off?

Then I read the instructions and realized there’s only supposed to be two buttons and either I’m missing the center just right to make the “+” button work (even though it clicks separately) or.. I don’t know. Defect? Poor placement on my model? I can’t even begin to answer the question, but once I figured out how it worked and tried to keep my finger from the center, it made a little more sense.

Unfortunately, this is when the Turtle completely failed to whelm me proportionately (you know, instead of underwhelming me). There is one mode of steady vibration and two pulsation modes. The pulsing is interesting, but the continuous vibes are pretty lackluster. I’ve used a lot of toys that rely on 2AAs, and they’re much deeper and stronger than this toy. This is one of those vibrators where you can easily mistake the highest setting for the low (like the Getaway Luxe). Even though I can hear the difference when changing the toy, there isn’t much difference to be felt. In my hand, it tickles more on high because the vibrations are more shallow but in use? Can’t tell.

It’s frustrating because the toy is thick enough that it seems like you could get another battery in there and that would really make a difference. However, this might mess with the reversible battery pack. I like that it doesn’t matter which direction or orientation I place it in, but I’d gladly sacrifice that for stronger vibes. Plus, the battery cap–which is just the end of the toy–is damned fickle. You really have to push it down onto the toy before you can screw it on. It’s a two-hand job.

I find the size of the battery pack/controls to be awkward in itself. It reminds me of some of the rabbits I’ve had and it’s pretty hard to control with my short arms. It has a total length of 9.3″ and three or so inches is dedicated to the battery cap. At its widest (where the battery cap meets the shaft), the diameter is 1.65″. We’re talking some bulk and the silicone makes it feel quite heavy.

The silicone also has a wonderful velvet texture, and I absolutely adore the turtle design. The lines remind me of a lower shell, and there’s a small nub on the head of the Turtle that should be ideal for G-spot stimulation. Not my G-spot, apparently. Because it’s so shallow, this vibrator completely misses it when resting comfortably inside. The narrowest part (around 1″ diameter) of the shaft sits parallel to my G-spot but, because it’s narrow, doesn’t touch it. I have to awkwardly angle it forward in order to get G-spot stimulation. Although the shaft has some give, the awkwardness makes it hard for me to bend it.

I also can’t feel the Turtle design internally. Sadness. However, I did enjoy the rounded head for clitoral stimulation, and I did squirt a ton after all that wrangling. Odd.

So, the Turtle is one of those toys that looks great. I love the idea of it but it’s just awkward in practice because of its size and bulk, finicky battery cap and whatever is going on with the buttons. If it hadn’t been so awkward, I would have loved to recommend it to anyone whose G-spot is more traditionally located. I’d love to see a new line of Papaya Toys that are slimmer and sleeker, with more power and.. buttons that do what they should.

Categories
Massage Reviews

Shunga Passion Apple Massage Oil

Shunga Massage Oil

Shunga Massage Oil
N/A from

Although you can still buy other scents of Shunga massage oil, the company no longer makes this one.

When it comes to massage oils, like lubes, I’m not entirely pick. Does it glide a bit? Does it ease stress on the hands? Do I feel disgusting afterward? Will my skin be all sparkly (but not like a vampire)? The right answers to those questions–yes, yes no and yes, respectively–will garner a generally positive review with me. The thing that is bound to set apart a massage product, or any sensual item really, is the scent.

And boy did Shunga get it right with their Massage Oil. I decided to try something different than my typical choice of red berries. Red apples it was. Actually, I don’t know if this oil smells like red apples or green or a mixture of both, but it’s crisp, fruity, delicious, and exactly apple-y Not apple-like. Not apple-ish but apple-y. It reminds me of a diffuser oil I bought a while back (and now I may have to try to find it again). My only real complaint is that the smell doesn’t last as long as some of my other massage products. It definitely fades quickly, and this makes me a sad panda.

While Shunga’s performance doesn’t outshine any other massage oil (eh, they’re oils LOL), the scent is probably my second favorite–ever. It’s only right behind the Oil of Love in raspberry that I reviewed forever ago and, to be honest, that will probably remain my favorite massage oil if only because it’s also flavored and heating!

Shunga does have the heads up in that is has a larger bottle. In fact, the eight ounces of the massage oil is more than any other massage oil product I own and I’d hazard a guess that it’s the most affordable, per ounce. Secondly, the bottle uses the push top cap that most massage oils use. However, I have the older style of bottle with the cork and it’s messy and not foolproof.

So, if you’re into massage and want to try a different scent, Shunga’s Massage Oil in Passion Apple is something that probably won’t ever go up on my ToySwap list, and you should buy it yourself.

Categories
Lube Reviews

Maximus

Maximus

Maximus

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

Maximus is a water-based lube that has long been touted by fans of anal sex because it’s thick and more or less stays where you put it. Although I can’t even remember the last time when I ventured into anal territory, I enjoy thick lubes that stay where I put them because I’m a toy fiend. There’s nothing worse than lubing up a toy, only to have it drip all over your hands, or erotica book, or partner or floor or bed (see my point?) on its way to your target destination. So I like my lubes a little thicker.

Yet, in the past, I’ve used lubes that were so thick that they not only stayed exactly where I put them but they felt solid and thus lacked in any lubricating goodness whatsoever. This is not the case with Maximus, which is a thin, gel-like lube. It’s definitely not a liquid, but it does move, eventually. If you hold a toy upright, the lube will slowly obey the forces of gravity. But not so much that I wind up covered in it, which I enjoy. It’s actually thinner than I would expect, and the opening in the bottle is a little thicker, so it came out faster than I was ready for. I’ve got it down now.

Texture-wise, Maximus is pretty silky and it just keeps going and going. I generally test between my fingers when I write a review so I can give you an idea of how long it takes for a lube to dry up and whether it gets sticky as it does. My fingers are starting to become sore from rubbing together and they’re still silky, although not as slick, and not sticky at all. Perhaps this is the benefit of being a “high glycol” lube.

Because this is a water-based lube, it’ll wash right away with water. This is bad in showers but good when it comes to washing off your body or toys after playtime. I didn’t taste it, but it has no recognizable smell. It’s completely safe for internal play and with your silicone toys as well.

In summary: Maximus might be the best water-based lube I’ve ever use. But because of FDA regulations, became difficult to obtain, and parent company Bodywise no longer seems to make it.

Categories
Books Reviews

Playing With Fire

Playing With Fire

Playing With Fire
$14.95 from Amazon

I don’t like to gush. For some reason, I feel like it takes away from my credibility as a reviewer but it’s hard not to, and I literally did gush, when reading Playing With Fire. This anthology is, without any doubt, my favorite erotica collection thus far. Usually, I open a book and like one story or two; I find myself paging through numerous others or becoming distracted as I wonder “When does this story end?” or “What’s the point again?”

Playing With Fire is not actually full of books about fire play; although, there is fire. Alison Tyler has picked stories that deal with fire and heat, whether literally or metaphorically, to include in this collection. Sometimes the connection is strenuous, sometimes it’s simply one line in the story and other times the title is fire/heat-related, but that’s the general theme. There’s a lot of “what we’re doing is so hot” and “this is so hot that I cannot wait.” In fact, the not being able to wait is almost as much as a theme as heat.

The result is stories that vary in length and style–although, none are longer than a few pages–as well as content and delivery but most of them are to the point. The reader doesn’t have to wait long for the sexuality to happen and the authors are explicit in their depictions. I read this in only three or four sittings. I found it extremely difficult to put down Playing With Fire and I was disheartened the last time I picked it up because I had so few stories left.

My favorites include “Carrying a Torch,” in which the female protagonist is turned on by her boyfriend’s other lover after accidentally seeing them have sex. Sophia Valenti writes her character’s fantasies to life fantastically. Secondly, Teresa Noelle Roberts absolutely hit it out of the park with her scorcher “One Hundred Degrees in the Shade.” A New Yorker couple escape to a cabin in the summer’s heat and everything comes to a boil with a hot sex scene as a storm rages in the background. I loved it especially because I feel the electricity myself when it’s storming around me.

However, this is not the perfect book. For some reason, there are quite a few stories to which cheating is a theme. This makes me a little uncomfortable. I understand why it can be hot for some but I’ve been too close to that setting in real life to appreciate it in literature. While I enjoyed most of the stories, there are a few that I just particularly didn’t. The most disappointing is “Burned” by Michael Hemmingson. In this story, a young woman is writing a novel and the story moves back and forth between what’s happening in the novel and for the author. There’s some strange fourth-wall-breaking narration and the sex isn’t particularly sexy. It’s an interesting story but makes for bad erotica.

Categories
Reviews Vibrators

Nomi Tang Getaway Luxe

Nomi Tang Getaway Luxe

Nomi Tang Getaway Luxe
N/A from

This has since been replaced with the Nomi Tang Getaway Plus 2.

Has it really been soooo long since I first review the Better Than Chocolate? It was novel then, although not perfect. I’ve been wondering how well the new Nomi Tang vibrators would work but refrained from trying them because I had more than enough effective G-spot vibrators. Still, they looked so interesting, with their airplane-esque designs, that I eventually requested one to review.

The Luxe is the black model, the in-between, with an angled, slightly bulbous head. It’s less intense than the Wild but more interesting than the narrow shaft of the Pure. In fact, the Wild is awfully similar to the Lelo Ella, and I don’t think my pubic bone likes hooky things much. So Luxe it was.

There are some definite improvements over Tang’s first effort. For starters, the Luxe is coated in a silky silicone rather than the TPE composite of the Better Than Chocolate. The silicone feels velvety and smooth to the touch and is definitely softer. Although the inner workings of this vibrator are rigid, you can squeeze at the handle and the bulbous head and feel a bit of give. You might not expect this from the images, but I definitely approve.

Another improvement is the use of 2 AA batteries rather than AAA. Although the Getaway Luxe isn’t the most powerful vibrator that I own, its vibrations are moderately rumbly and more than do the trick for me. Now, if you’ve been here before, you’ll know that I respond well to deeper vibrations, even if they aren’t super strong. Unfortunately, if strength alone is what you require, the Luxe may not meet your needs.

That is not this toy’s only downfall. I complained in my Better Than Chocolate review but I just don’t understand why these vibrators start in their highest settings! Surely, we’re going to want to turn it up and be sorely disappointed when we realize that this is all we get. No need to reinvent the wheel here. Low to high has worked well for years.

I haven’t noticed any difference in the touch controls. In fact, I used my previous review to remember how to use them. The user guide is wrong, as it indicates sliding your finger toward the NT logo turns the vibrations up when the opposite is actually true. It’s a fairly smooth transition between strengths, but there’s not too much of a difference between the high and the low. In my opinion, the low could be even lower for more of a preparatory sensation and, of course, the highest steady vibration setting could be stronger yet. It’s definitely a middle-of-the-road vibrator.

I’d like some sort of light setting to indicate the strength of the vibrations on this one because you don’t have the definitive click of a button. The light remains steady on the steady vibrations, instead. It flashes when you turn on different modes after holding the NT logo for two seconds. As far as I can tell, the modes include a slow and fast pulsation–and that’s it. I don’t mind because the pulsation is pretty effective, but most vibrators have more settings than I can count or tell apart. If you like escalation or faster pulsation, you might find this one lacking.

But back to the positives. The Getaway Luxe is lockable if you press and hold the end of the slider without a logo. The logo turns red to indicate locking status, and if you power it off and back on again, it will be unlocked. You can use it underwater, and the battery compartment is pretty secure; however, the controls need to be dry to use. I’ve also noticed that it’s less responsive if my hands are a little greasy if I’ve put on lotion, and lube would seemingly cause the same.

My thoughts on the touch controls are a little less positive this time around. It works; it has some nice features, but it’s not as convenient as a physical button, which is quicker, offers tactile feedback, and will still work even when greasy (for the most part). I’m also frustrated with the entire battery setup. You screw off the end of the toy to insert 2AAs into a plastic carriage. It’s a little finicky, and I’d rather directly insert the batteries. Aligning the cap back up is a bitch. I can’t never get it right, so it always takes a few moments of fiddling. Once it’s on, it’s on and secure, however.

I did enjoy the shape and texture of the Getaway Luxe. The bulbous head easily found my G-spot and was also good for clitoral stimulation. The wide handle is so easy to grasp and a little softer than the shaft. The placement of the touch script, during use, is a bit awkward but it’s not so much an issue if you leave it on one setting.

Luxe offers 6 insertable inches, and the majority of the shaft is only around 1 inch thick. The bulbous head is slightly wider, but it’s not a large toy by any means, so it may be good for newbies. Because of the larger handle, the toy has an overall length of 11″ and you may want to pass this by if you want something discreet.

Like the Better Than Chocolate, this comes in a pretty white box. This time, it sits in satin, with a long and narrow guide book and Nomi Tang now includes a drawstring satin bag for storage and transportation. While the Getaway Luxe hasn’t proven to be a dust magnet like some of my other silicone toys, this is definitely a plus. Yet, other toys come with storage and better performance for less.

Categories
Reviews Vibrators

Compact Discretion

Compact Discretion

Compact Discretion
N/A from

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

MyPleasure offers The Compact Discretion is a bullet vibrator that aims to be discreet and, in that, it is actually pretty successful. The vibrator itself, its cords, battery pack and control all sit within a case that looks like a short glasses case. It’s too small to fit glasses but you could maybe describe it as for cigarettes or business cards. Either way, it makes your vibrator super portable in addition to discreet.

But aside from that, I didn’t like this toy a bit. As soon as I opened the case, a strong plastic/manufacturing smell emanated from it. Unfortunately, this is full of plastic parts that simply didn’t get enough airing out. You might be able to remedy this a bit by letting it sit open. I did, but the smell didn’t completely dissipate.

Aside from the smell, another complaint is the battery compartment. There’s a button you need to press down to slide the rectangular cap outward and up, but it’s not very efficient and likes to stick. When the compartment does open, it 2-AA batteries. This leads directly to my next complaint. For a vibrator that uses 2-AA batteries, the Compact Discretion is absolutely weak. The vibrations are incredibly shallow and surface-level. If I didn’t know better, I’d expect this bullet to be powered by a single AAA! It’s nothing compared to the BNaughty, which I enjoyed quite a bit.

There’s a slider button to control the vibrations. Because they’re so shallow, I really can’t tell much of a difference between the five settings. They’re all steady; no patterns here. There’s tiny red lights to help show which setting you’re on but I don’t find them all that helpful.

Onward with the complaints! The cord between the case and the bullet itself seems quite short. I don’t use a lot of corded toys these days so I find it so awkward. The case is too big to hold during use, really, but if you set it down next to you, the cord makes things awkward. Although it’s attached to the bullet securely, the bullet itself feels cheap.

Because everything’s attached, you need to deal with the awkwardness while trying to wash without wetting the inner workings. You must also completely dry the bullet before returning it to its case.

I don’t have a lot of positives to say about this toy. It’s discreet but at the cost of being fully functional. I would spend the money on a higher quality bullet for sure.