Shunga Passion Apple Massage Oil

September 5th, 2011

Although you can still buy other scents of Shunga massage oil, the company no longer makes this one.

When it comes to massage oils, like lubes, I’m not entirely pick. Does it glide a bit? Does it ease stress on the hands? Do I feel disgusting afterward? Will my skin be all sparkly (but not like a vampire)? The right answers to those questions–yes, yes no and yes, respectively–will garner a generally positive review with me. The thing that is bound to set apart a massage product, or any sensual item really, is the scent.

And boy did Shunga get it right with their Massage Oil. I decided to try something different than my typical choice of red berries. Red apples it was. Actually, I don’t know if this oil smells like red apples or green or a mixture of both, but it’s crisp, fruity, delicious, and exactly apple-y Not apple-like. Not apple-ish but apple-y. It reminds me of a diffuser oil I bought a while back (and now I may have to try to find it again). My only real complaint is that the smell doesn’t last as long as some of my other massage products. It definitely fades quickly, and this makes me a sad panda.

While Shunga’s performance doesn’t outshine any other massage oil (eh, they’re oils LOL), the scent is probably my second favorite–ever. It’s only right behind the Oil of Love in raspberry that I reviewed forever ago and, to be honest, that will probably remain my favorite massage oil if only because it’s also flavored and heating!

Shunga does have the heads up in that is has a larger bottle. In fact, the eight ounces of the massage oil is more than any other massage oil product I own and I’d hazard a guess that it’s the most affordable, per ounce. Secondly, the bottle uses the push top cap that most massage oils use. However, I have the older style of bottle with the cork and it’s messy and not foolproof.

So, if you’re into massage and want to try a different scent, Shunga’s Massage Oil in Passion Apple is something that probably won’t ever go up on my ToySwap list, and you should buy it yourself.

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Maximus

September 2nd, 2011

Maximus

Maximus

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

Maximus is a water-based lube that has long been touted by fans of anal sex because it’s thick and more or less stays where you put it. Although I can’t even remember the last time when I ventured into anal territory, I enjoy thick lubes that stay where I put them because I’m a toy fiend. There’s nothing worse than lubing up a toy, only to have it drip all over your hands, or erotica book, or partner or floor or bed (see my point?) on its way to your target destination. So I like my lubes a little thicker.

Yet, in the past, I’ve used lubes that were so thick that they not only stayed exactly where I put them but they felt solid and thus lacked in any lubricating goodness whatsoever. This is not the case with Maximus, which is a thin, gel-like lube. It’s definitely not a liquid, but it does move, eventually. If you hold a toy upright, the lube will slowly obey the forces of gravity. But not so much that I wind up covered in it, which I enjoy. It’s actually thinner than I would expect, and the opening in the bottle is a little thicker, so it came out faster than I was ready for. I’ve got it down now.

Texture-wise, Maximus is pretty silky and it just keeps going and going. I generally test between my fingers when I write a review so I can give you an idea of how long it takes for a lube to dry up and whether it gets sticky as it does. My fingers are starting to become sore from rubbing together and they’re still silky, although not as slick, and not sticky at all. Perhaps this is the benefit of being a “high glycol” lube.

Because this is a water-based lube, it’ll wash right away with water. This is bad in showers but good when it comes to washing off your body or toys after playtime. I didn’t taste it, but it has no recognizable smell. It’s completely safe for internal play and with your silicone toys as well.

In summary: Maximus might be the best water-based lube I’ve ever use. But because of FDA regulations, became difficult to obtain, and parent company Bodywise no longer seems to make it.

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Playing With Fire

August 26th, 2011

I don’t like to gush. For some reason, I feel like it takes away from my credibility as a reviewer but it’s hard not to, and I literally did gush, when reading Playing With Fire. This anthology is, without any doubt, my favorite erotica collection thus far. Usually, I open a book and like one story or two; I find myself paging through numerous others or becoming distracted as I wonder “When does this story end?” or “What’s the point again?”

Playing With Fire is not actually full of books about fire play; although, there is fire. Alison Tyler has picked stories that deal with fire and heat, whether literally or metaphorically, to include in this collection. Sometimes the connection is strenuous, sometimes it’s simply one line in the story and other times the title is fire/heat-related, but that’s the general theme. There’s a lot of “what we’re doing is so hot” and “this is so hot that I cannot wait.” In fact, the not being able to wait is almost as much as a theme as heat.

The result is stories that vary in length and style–although, none are longer than a few pages–as well as content and delivery but most of them are to the point. The reader doesn’t have to wait long for the sexuality to happen and the authors are explicit in their depictions. I read this in only three or four sittings. I found it extremely difficult to put down Playing With Fire and I was disheartened the last time I picked it up because I had so few stories left.

My favorites include “Carrying a Torch,” in which the female protagonist is turned on by her boyfriend’s other lover after accidentally seeing them have sex. Sophia Valenti writes her character’s fantasies to life fantastically. Secondly, Teresa Noelle Roberts absolutely hit it out of the park with her scorcher “One Hundred Degrees in the Shade.” A New Yorker couple escape to a cabin in the summer’s heat and everything comes to a boil with a hot sex scene as a storm rages in the background. I loved it especially because I feel the electricity myself when it’s storming around me.

However, this is not the perfect book. For some reason, there are quite a few stories to which cheating is a theme. This makes me a little uncomfortable. I understand why it can be hot for some but I’ve been too close to that setting in real life to appreciate it in literature. While I enjoyed most of the stories, there are a few that I just particularly didn’t. The most disappointing is “Burned” by Michael Hemmingson. In this story, a young woman is writing a novel and the story moves back and forth between what’s happening in the novel and for the author. There’s some strange fourth-wall-breaking narration and the sex isn’t particularly sexy. It’s an interesting story but makes for bad erotica.

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Nomi Tang Getaway Luxe

August 22nd, 2011

This has since been replaced with the Nomi Tang Getaway Plus 2.

Has it really been soooo long since I first review the Better Than Chocolate? It was novel then, although not perfect. I’ve been wondering how well the new Nomi Tang vibrators would work but refrained from trying them because I had more than enough effective G-spot vibrators. Still, they looked so interesting, with their airplane-esque designs, that I eventually requested one to review.

The Luxe is the black model, the in-between, with an angled, slightly bulbous head. It’s less intense than the Wild but more interesting than the narrow shaft of the Pure. In fact, the Wild is awfully similar to the Lelo Ella, and I don’t think my pubic bone likes hooky things much. So Luxe it was.

There are some definite improvements over Tang’s first effort. For starters, the Luxe is coated in a silky silicone rather than the TPE composite of the Better Than Chocolate. The silicone feels velvety and smooth to the touch and is definitely softer. Although the inner workings of this vibrator are rigid, you can squeeze at the handle and the bulbous head and feel a bit of give. You might not expect this from the images, but I definitely approve.

Another improvement is the use of 2 AA batteries rather than AAA. Although the Getaway Luxe isn’t the most powerful vibrator that I own, its vibrations are moderately rumbly and more than do the trick for me. Now, if you’ve been here before, you’ll know that I respond well to deeper vibrations, even if they aren’t super strong. Unfortunately, if strength alone is what you require, the Luxe may not meet your needs.

That is not this toy’s only downfall. I complained in my Better Than Chocolate review but I just don’t understand why these vibrators start in their highest settings! Surely, we’re going to want to turn it up and be sorely disappointed when we realize that this is all we get. No need to reinvent the wheel here. Low to high has worked well for years.

I haven’t noticed any difference in the touch controls. In fact, I used my previous review to remember how to use them. The user guide is wrong, as it indicates sliding your finger toward the NT logo turns the vibrations up when the opposite is actually true. It’s a fairly smooth transition between strengths, but there’s not too much of a difference between the high and the low. In my opinion, the low could be even lower for more of a preparatory sensation and, of course, the highest steady vibration setting could be stronger yet. It’s definitely a middle-of-the-road vibrator.

I’d like some sort of light setting to indicate the strength of the vibrations on this one because you don’t have the definitive click of a button. The light remains steady on the steady vibrations, instead. It flashes when you turn on different modes after holding the NT logo for two seconds. As far as I can tell, the modes include a slow and fast pulsation–and that’s it. I don’t mind because the pulsation is pretty effective, but most vibrators have more settings than I can count or tell apart. If you like escalation or faster pulsation, you might find this one lacking.

But back to the positives. The Getaway Luxe is lockable if you press and hold the end of the slider without a logo. The logo turns red to indicate locking status, and if you power it off and back on again, it will be unlocked. You can use it underwater, and the battery compartment is pretty secure; however, the controls need to be dry to use. I’ve also noticed that it’s less responsive if my hands are a little greasy if I’ve put on lotion, and lube would seemingly cause the same.

My thoughts on the touch controls are a little less positive this time around. It works; it has some nice features, but it’s not as convenient as a physical button, which is quicker, offers tactile feedback, and will still work even when greasy (for the most part). I’m also frustrated with the entire battery setup. You screw off the end of the toy to insert 2AAs into a plastic carriage. It’s a little finicky, and I’d rather directly insert the batteries. Aligning the cap back up is a bitch. I can’t never get it right, so it always takes a few moments of fiddling. Once it’s on, it’s on and secure, however.

I did enjoy the shape and texture of the Getaway Luxe. The bulbous head easily found my G-spot and was also good for clitoral stimulation. The wide handle is so easy to grasp and a little softer than the shaft. The placement of the touch script, during use, is a bit awkward but it’s not so much an issue if you leave it on one setting.

Luxe offers 6 insertable inches, and the majority of the shaft is only around 1 inch thick. The bulbous head is slightly wider, but it’s not a large toy by any means, so it may be good for newbies. Because of the larger handle, the toy has an overall length of 11″ and you may want to pass this by if you want something discreet.

Like the Better Than Chocolate, this comes in a pretty white box. This time, it sits in satin, with a long and narrow guide book and Nomi Tang now includes a drawstring satin bag for storage and transportation. While the Getaway Luxe hasn’t proven to be a dust magnet like some of my other silicone toys, this is definitely a plus. Yet, other toys come with storage and better performance for less.

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Compact Discretion

August 16th, 2011

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

MyPleasure offers The Compact Discretion is a bullet vibrator that aims to be discreet and, in that, it is actually pretty successful. The vibrator itself, its cords, battery pack and control all sit within a case that looks like a short glasses case. It’s too small to fit glasses but you could maybe describe it as for cigarettes or business cards. Either way, it makes your vibrator super portable in addition to discreet.

But aside from that, I didn’t like this toy a bit. As soon as I opened the case, a strong plastic/manufacturing smell emanated from it. Unfortunately, this is full of plastic parts that simply didn’t get enough airing out. You might be able to remedy this a bit by letting it sit open. I did, but the smell didn’t completely dissipate.

Aside from the smell, another complaint is the battery compartment. There’s a button you need to press down to slide the rectangular cap outward and up, but it’s not very efficient and likes to stick. When the compartment does open, it 2-AA batteries. This leads directly to my next complaint. For a vibrator that uses 2-AA batteries, the Compact Discretion is absolutely weak. The vibrations are incredibly shallow and surface-level. If I didn’t know better, I’d expect this bullet to be powered by a single AAA! It’s nothing compared to the BNaughty, which I enjoyed quite a bit.

There’s a slider button to control the vibrations. Because they’re so shallow, I really can’t tell much of a difference between the five settings. They’re all steady; no patterns here. There’s tiny red lights to help show which setting you’re on but I don’t find them all that helpful.

Onward with the complaints! The cord between the case and the bullet itself seems quite short. I don’t use a lot of corded toys these days so I find it so awkward. The case is too big to hold during use, really, but if you set it down next to you, the cord makes things awkward. Although it’s attached to the bullet securely, the bullet itself feels cheap.

Because everything’s attached, you need to deal with the awkwardness while trying to wash without wetting the inner workings. You must also completely dry the bullet before returning it to its case.

I don’t have a lot of positives to say about this toy. It’s discreet but at the cost of being fully functional. I would spend the money on a higher quality bullet for sure.

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Gotta Have It

August 10th, 2011

There’s nothing like a long book that you don’t really like. I guess I could sum up my experience with “Gotta Have It” in those words and leave it but I’ll try to explain exactly why this book didn’t catch my fancy. I mean, there’s a cat on the cover, so that should count for something, right?

Gotta Have It” promises to offer 69 stories of sudden sex, and while the sex may be sudden, it’s not all sudden fiction. That is, some of them are just a little longer than I like and we all know how I don’t like erotica that lasts longer than I do. And, honestly, I think the sheer number of stories is not working in this book’s favor. It appears bulky, especially because it’s shorter and squatter than any other erotica book I own. It’s ten times as big as Five Minute Erotica! Maybe I wouldn’t have noticed so much if I weren’t reviewing it but I felt the deadline pressing against me and was just trying to finish all the stories, one by one, and they kept blending together. By the time I finished the book, I couldn’t remember anything about the first stories–there was just too much data to try to recall in one place. This would have been much better off as two volumes.

But it’s more than that because I found myself paging through and passing by more stories than I read. A lot of them just didn’t pull me in from the start and I couldn’t get into them by continuing on. I don’t like to waste my time so I skipped ahead. The problem is that the focus of these stories appears to be the writing rather than the sex or sexuality. They’re all spectacularly written and interesting as literature but not as erotica. It’s almost as though the sex is an afterthought in some of them.

There are well-written stories with a wide variety of subjects. The themes in this book include golden showers, sex with strangers, voyeurism, phone sex, gender play, online dating and Godzilla. Yes, Godzilla. In fact, Salome Wilde’s “Too Wondrous To Measure” is a fantastic tale about the giant reptile that I remember simply because it was weird. Call me old-fashioned but I just don’t get turned on by the guy. There are a mixture of gay, lesbian, bisexual and straight couplings but there’s a lot of monogamous sex that I just didn’t find particularly thrilling in “Gotta Have It.”

One of my favorite stories actually details the make-up sex of a married couple. Daniel Burnell’s “Ties That Bind” was interesting when I first read it. Yet, it’s not something that is so interesting or different that I remember it once the book leaves my hands. The same can be said for “Lucky Number Fifty-One” which follows a man who gets the chance to have sex with his favorite porn star and is able to impress her.

At the end of the day (or page or book), “Gotta Have It” Is simply not the best erotica collection I’ve read. It’s better than, say, X, because I like stories short but I have four or so anthologies on my nightstand that I found to be much more interesting. I don’t know if it’s the sole reason but I seem to really enjoy collections that Alison Tyler have edited and this one was edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel. I’d recommend Five Minute Erotica if you want a short and sexy story. Some of those have left some pretty vivid memories in my mind.

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Relaxing Massage Oil

August 7th, 2011

When I picked Intimate Organic’s relaxing massage oil to review, I was hoping the blend of lemongrass and coconut would be pleasant. I’m slightly less of a fan of lemongrass so if the coconut were the highlight, that would be awesome. Unfortunately, the lemongrass really dominates. In fact, I can’t smell anything coconut at all. )= If you’re unfamiliar with lemongrass, it’s a sour smell that is similar to but not the same as an actual lemon. When you smell it, the name makes perfect sense. If you’re a fan of lemons/citrus, this may better suit you than me.

The massage oil comes in a push-top style bottle. It’s slightly yellow-ish in the bottle but appears clearer on the skin. It’s quite thin but pretty slick so it stays on the skin. It continues to make it easier to manipulate the skin and body but does feel a little greasy if you’re done massaging. Therefore, you’ll probably want to wash your hands after using the Relaxing Massage Oil.

This oil is made with certified organic extracts; of course, this is no surprise given the name of the company (Intimate Earth). The ingredients list includes sweet almond oil, sunflower oil, coconut oil, goji berry ectract, lemongrass extract and aloe extract among a few other ingredients including the ever misleading “parfum.”

I probably would have done better to try the Sensual Cocoa Bean and Goji Berry Massage Oil because I already know I like the scent but I did want to try something else. Unfortunately, I can’t relax very well in an environment that doesn’t please my nose, but if someone (like, say, a hot nerd) was offering me a massage with this oil, I certainly wouldn’t say “No.” I would base your shopping decisions upon the specific ingredients rather than the purpose (sensual, relaxing, etc) with Intimate Organics products.

Thanks so much to IO for providing me with this opportunity!

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