Octopussy Dildo

December 9th, 2010

This is an archived review. Babeland no longer sells the Octopussy dildo. Furthermore, I have had a Pipedream dildo break because it is a lower quality glass.

I strongly recommend reading Lilly’s guide to glass sex toy safety before making any glass dildo purchases!

Octopussy dildo

When it comes to my sex toys, I do not especially like the weird but there was something about the Octopussy Dildo that called to me when Babeland offered it up for review. This glass dildo is stylized so that it looks like an octopus tentacle or, potentially, an appendage of an alien. The pink glass is shaped like the end of a tentacle with a number of bumps that aid in the fantastic design but do not appear like actual tentacle suckers up close. The bumps run in two lines along the length of the dildo, from the tip to the end of the handle, which curves back toward the shaft to create an open loop for easy maneuvering.

If you’re interested in this piece because of its looks, rest assured that it is more attractive in person. All the retail images I have seen appear pale pink but this one is a glistening, vibrant pink. Although glass, the colour makes it translucent and not quite transparent.

Like any other glass piece, the rigidity makes it feel larger than it is but the Octopussy Dildo is not especially large. In fact, it only offers 4.5″ of insertable length out of the 6.5″ or so of the entire piece. In addition to this, the dildo has a diameter of nearly an inch. However, the Octopussy Dildo does not have a round shaft but one that is oblong–wider than it is tall. This dildo has a slight curve that may cup the pubic bone but that is not drastic enough to reach all G-spots if the user does not angle the toy to do so.

I found it easy to feel that there was texture on the Octopussy but I could not necessarily determine what that texture was. Because my G-pot is fairly shallow, the Octopussy was able to stimulate it with minimal movement. Nevertheless, I am not sure that the texture is one that I found especially pleasurable.

I do like the handle, though. Because you don’t have to worry about mechanical parts, you may wish to take this dildo into the shower with you. Water and even lube can make slick glass even more slippery but the loop offers the ability to keep a handle on the toy despite these factors. Because it is so rigid, I would avoid quick movements that could pinch your fingers. Additionally, the loop is only large enough for one finger–maybe two, if yours are small.

Glass is easy to care for: the slickness makes it easy to wash with soap and water or you can boil it for 3 minutes to sterilize (making it safe for sharing). Furthermore, you can dunk it in a bowl or warm or cold water for temperature play, if you are so inclined. If the Octopussy has been unused for a while, it is likely to be cold when you first take it out but it will warm to body temperature with use.

Although I have no major complaints about the dildo itself, I am sad that Pipedream did not include any storage options with it. There isn’t even a cheap pouch. You will want to purchase a toy pouch, make your own or store it in some protective fabric to prevent chipping, breaking or annoying clanging when it comes into contact with other toys.

If you’re into tentacles or odd toys, you may want to pick up the Octopussy Dildo but I’m not sure it’s worth the price tag in comparison to other glass toys and considering the manufacturer.

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Sportsheets Thigh & Wrist Cuffs Set

December 1st, 2010

THIGH & WRIST CUFFS SET

THIGH & WRIST CUFFS SET
$51.69 from Of Sex and Love Store

I have long wanted a set of thigh cuffs for a unique reason. I want to train myself not to clench my thighs shut during orgasm. Unfortunately, I haven’t had a lot of opportunity to do so, what with moving and all. Fortunately, Sportsheets Thigh and Wrist Cuffs Set will do the trick just fine.

I was expecting something similar to the cuffs that come with the Under the Bed Restraints but these are a bit higher quality in my opinion. The cuffs are made of some sort of Neoprene and feature a song lining on the inside. The outside has a slightly rubbery feel to it and the material has give and stretch to aid in comfort during use.

A backpack-like strap runs the length of the cuffs and there is a single O ring (like a keychain) sewn into the strap for attaching to other cuffs, restraints, etc. The stitching is reinforced around the loops where the ring is attached and feels secure. The strap extends past the edge of the wrist cuffs, where a piece of velcro is sewn to the back of the strap. The velcro is not sewn on as neatly as it could be but I’m nitpicking.

The straps are each variable in length with the wrist straps ranging from six to 15 inches in diameter while the length of the thigh straps is between 14 inches and 25 inches. You can potentially use the wrist cuffs on a person with smaller wrists by overlapping them but the design of the thigh cuffs does not allow this. The thigh cuffs are also wider than those for the wrists by about 1/4″. This isn’t problematic for the thigh cuffs but I do find the wrist cuffs to be just wide enough to slightly hinder movement.

The thigh cuffs also differ in that you can adjust the width of the cuffs. Again, it uses a hard plastic adjuster similar to what you would find on a backpack. A single tug on the strap tightens while you have to lift up the plastic tab to loosen the cuffs, making it impossible for the cuffed to break free. This offers an extra ten or so inches; however, it won’t look as neat as a thinner thigh, where the edges of the cuffs can touch or overlap. The end of the strap is hemmed so that it cannot completely slip through the plastic adjuster, making it a full loop, unlike the wrist cuffs, which can come open fully. Thus, you will need to slip the thigh cuffs on over a foot.

Each thigh cuff has a snap type hook attached to the O-ring. Because it is keychain style, you can remove the hook and replace one of your own but I hate removing keys so I probably wouldn’t. The wrist cuffs didn’t get as nice of treatment: only one cuff has a clasp to attach to the other. If you want to attach the cuffs to anything else but the matching cuff, you would have to buy another clasp and slide it onto the ring.

Now, for my personal thoughts. The velcro enclosures of the wrist cuffs are less than ideal and become less effective if your wrists are larger because there is less velcro overlap to secure the cuffs. With a bit of effort, I could pop open the cuffs when they were more widely secured. However, this was not the case when I had the cuff as tight as comfortable so that more velcro secured it. I much prefer the adjuster on the thigh cuffs. It’s easy to take off if need be, and just as easy to tighten.

The foamy Neoprene is thicker than the other Sportsheets cuffs I have and offers a bit more padding if you’re the struggling type.

The included clasps are super functional, but I know that sometimes snap hooks loosen over time, so the keychain-style rings are great if you ever need to replace them. The hardware setup does offer a limited range of motion, of course. The bound person will have between 2-3 inches of movement when both wrists are in the cuffs and attached to one another. The thigh cuffs offer around 5″ of movement. If you want to bind someone’s thighs to their wrists or separately bind the thighs and wrists, respectively, you can. Anything fancier will require the addition of hardware such as a chain.

One thing that really bothers me is the lack of a fourth clasp. You could hog-tie someone, if they’re limber enough, without a chain, but the 3-clasp setup makes it asymmetrical and will unevenly stress the body. The body wouldn’t stress if you bind each wrist to the corresponding thigh, but the hardware will be of differing lengths for each side, and that totally bugs the perfectionist in me. Again, it’s easy to fix but I don’t see why Sportsheets couldn’t just throw in an extra clasp with this set.

Minus that and my general dislike to velcro, the Thigh and Wrist Cuffs Set is one that I see being extremely useful for my future bondage.

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Make love to your long distance lover online

Babydoll and Coat Set with Matching Panty

November 28th, 2010

Babydoll and Coat Set

Babydoll and Coat Set

This is an archived review of a discontinued product. 

This is my first experience with lingerie called a coat “coat.” Really, I’d call it a robe, but that’s semantics! Of course, I picked black. I bet you didn’t see that coming!

The included babydoll features shaped cups with underwire, adjustable straps, and more lace than you can shake a stick at. The coat lacks ties that most robes have. The bulk of it is a nylon, mesh material while it is trimmed with lace around the sleeves. The sleeves are generally pirate-like in feel. With the sheer mesh and lack of closure, the coat isn’t the most functional piece but the additional layers could contribute to a stripping scene.

I actually really enjoyed the fit of the babydoll. The underwire cups offer more support than reinforced stitching and were incredibly flattering to my C cups. While the adjustable straps allow you to wear the cups higher or lower, depending on your preferences and shape, I wouldn’t invest in this piece if your breasts are any larger than mine. It’s kind of odd, sizing-wise because I don’t consider a B or C cup to be plus-sized lingerie. On the other hand, if you’re like me and sport some extra weight around the midsection and not so much in the chest, this is a good thing.

The free-flowing waist of the babydoll is flattering to all sorts of shapes and does not highlight trouble spots such as your tummy. The larger designs (floral-esque) on the lace are also awesome as camouflaging certain spots. Do note that the back of this is the same mesh as the coat, however. Additionally, this does not hook like a bra. Rather, the empire waist is elastic and could stretch over time.

As a shorter person, I found this fell to around my hips, and it would be even shorter on most. On the model, the sleeves also look a bit long, but they fit me perfectly. In fact, I would really warn you against buying this set if you’re much taller.

However, the lace is really scratchy. It’s not comfortable at all right out of the bag, and even though I let mine soak in the sink with some baking soda (as prescribed by the Internet), it did not soften up. Unfortunately for folks like myself who have to pay to wash their laundry, I wasn’t about to waste my quarters on a single piece of apparel to see if this would improve. Plus, the delicate nature of this piece makes it ideal for washing by hand or in a pillowcase or lingerie bag. The instructions actually say to hand wash only, without bleach, in cold water, but if you’re like me, you probably ignore instructions like those. d=

Of course, like almost all lingerie sets, the included thong is ridiculously basic and cheap. You could pair any sexy panties with this set and have it match fairly well. Because I opted for the plus size, the thong I got is unrealistically large for me to wear, even with my plush derriere. To complete the look, I would definitely swap out something I already owned.

When it comes to washing, I’d toss the thong in with my regular laundry, but with such thin strings, I expect it to stretch and eventually rip. Not like that’s not something that I haven’t had happen with other thongs.

Having owned more than one mesh piece, I have to warn that the tags on the coat and babydoll are generic white, not custom, and plain to see through the mesh. If that bothers you like it does me, you’ll want to cut off the tags carefully.

I sometimes have difficulty with lingerie with underwire so I was pleasantly surprised at the overall fit. Besides the straps, I didn’t find myself having to adjust anything for comfort or visual appeal. This babydoll set is just extremely easy to wear so if you’re new to lingerie, you might consider it or something similar.

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God and Sex

October 27th, 2010

God and Sex

God and Sex
$18.09 from Amazon

So, this is a bit of a different turn for of Sex and Love. I pretty much screamed “yes” when I was contacted to review God and Sex, a book that details What the Bible Really Says About Sex. It’s right up my alley.

Michael Coogan, the director of publications for the Harvard Semitic Museum and a professor of religious studies at Stonehill college, has taken the time to decipher and discuss what the Bible has to say about sex in regards to women’s rights, virginity, marriage, rape, homosexuality and more. In this book, Coogan translates Biblical text and analyzes what it meant to world at the time and how it applies–if it applies–today. Coogan does not have a religious or secular slant. After reading God and Sex, I could see him as an educated Christian or an educated atheist. It’s a toss up, really. I say this to inform those who view the Bible as a religious text that they may still enjoy this.

Unless they pick and choose scriptures and passages to further their agenda without taking time to familiarize themselves with the Bible. Coogan does, however. It becomes clear, by the end of this book, that the Bible says a lot of things, directly and indirectly, and the contradictions are rampant enough that it’s pretty ridiculous for anyone to base an argument on the Bible. Period.

The chapters in God and Sex discuss women, marriage and divorce, forbidden relationships, rape and prostitution and God’s wives. Intellectually, I enjoyed the last chapter immensely. Coogan gives some examples that show God may, indeed, be a sexual being and one who had a wife or wives.

Of particular importance in today’s society, is the chapter on forbidden relationships. Coogan delves into the Bible and relates what it says about homosexuality. Coogan’s conclusion is that, yes, the Bible generally opposed homosexuality but also that some of the Bible’s writers mention it in passing, as though it is a normal and acceptable thing. He argues that, no matter what the Bible says, it needs to be recognized as a book that was not created in our time.

Feminists and even some misogynists will bristle while reading the first chapter. The (mis)treatment of women as property and the concept of virginity as a relic of this institution is nothing short of horrifying. Later in the book, Coogan discusses how men were expected to be good hosts, even going so far as to provide their wives for guests to rape, rather than being impolite. It is horrific, to say the least. Even though Coogan discusses how patriarchal Biblical society was, he also makes a comment that indicates he doesn’t realize how far we’ve to come.

It’s interesting, too. In the chapter on marriage and divorce, the reader becomes familiar with Christ’s view of divorce (unfavourable) may be in direct opposition to the word of God, himself (who divorced Israel).

Michael Coogan wraps up his book with a reminder that we need to keep perspective when in the Bible. It may be a good rule of thumb for some things but there are certainly fine details that are nonsensical, unethical or even dangerous to follow in these modern times–and that’s even if the Bible can be accurately translated.

For example, some folks will be surprised to hear that the Bible has very little to say on the fact of abortion. This fact is not lost on Coogan who muses about how the passages people (sometimes incorrectly) quote usually mention abortion in passing on the way to a greater lesson.

Readers be warned that the content is only 200 pages long. There are 26 pages of notes, along with a bibliography and credits. Coogan translated the Bible himself and references the passages and translations in every chapter. The notes make it easy to follow his train of thought and double check his work, if you’re so inclined. This makes God and Sex incredibly well researched but possibly controversial because Coogan relies on a specific version of the Bible and does not rely on popular or “friendly” translations of the book. Basically, it’s not the book for you if you prefer your religious lessons spoon-fed.

So, if you haven’t guessed it, God and Sex is a real eye-opener in its honesty and unique take on sex in the Bible and what that means to people as modern Christians. It’s an interesting read but one that took me a little longer than usual simply because some of the chapters are a bit long. I would have enjoyed it more were I less concerned with finishing in time to review but that’s pretty much a given for books with me.

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Bijoux Indiscrets cosmetics for better sex

Midnight Confidential Chemise and Thong Set

October 26th, 2010

Midnight Confidential Chemise and Thong Set

Midnight Confidential Chemise and Thong Set

This is an archived review of a discontinued item.

The second piece of lingerie I receive from Seven Til Midnight is the Midnight Confidential Chemise and Thong Set. It’s much more daring than any other piece I own or have reviewed. In fact, it’s the first underbust anything I’ve owned but I deserve to feel sexy, right? Right!

I noticed differences from the Sheer Pleasure set immediately. First, this set has different packaging. The Sheer Pleasure set comes in a cardboard box while this set comes in a plastic bag and has a tag attached. The old setup of the manufacturer’s site used to separate the packaged and unpackaged items. I’m not sure what the difference is, if any.

Fit-wise, this set is also different. It’s form fitting and shorter than the Sheer Pleasure chemise. The attached tag does not describe the type of fabric but it’s a nylon/spandex mix that has a slight shine to it. Because of the texture, the black actually appears a bit lighter than in the images. In addition to this, I found that the pinstripes were also more noticeable in person. But that is also due to the fact that pinstripes, like fishnet, do not always photograph well. The couple inches of lace at the bottom are looser than the rest of the piece.

Of course, the cupless design is very interesting. It’s not entirely cupless, actually. The underwires are sewn into the fabric to frame the bottom of the breasts and there is a slightly bit of material (cups) above this. Depending on your cup size, you can pull these up for more coverage but not total coverage. Larger breasts will have the tendency to push these down, anyway. The underwires extend up, between the breasts. It seems to me that they extend further up than an actual bra.

I found this slightly more difficult to get into because of the design and snugness. I wound up pulling it up, over my hips. Doing this, I immediately discovered that it’s just not sewn that well. A seam ripped slightly toward the top. Not the type of rip that ruins it, thankfully, but a rip nonetheless. I was more careful after this, of course, but because this has a gap in the back (toward the lower back) and the function bra band style, I had difficulty. You see, I’m the put-my-bra-on-backward-and-spin-it-around type. It’s so much harder with this piece but not impossible.

So once I got it around and situated my breasts above the wires and the wires between them and pulled it smoother over my hips, I kinda liked the look. The stretchy material pulls me in a bit and the lace falls right around my hips/below my extra tummy weight in a way that actually camouflages it. Because I’m not so thin, this falls a little higher than on the model. The fabric is cool and smooth against the skin. The lace wasn’t super scratchy.

Your breasts will not look at awesome as the model. She’s pushing hers up and in to achieve that perfectly round look. I mean, if you do that, yours will look just that awesome but the cupless design just does not offer as much support as a full or even half cup. The pink bow is cute, too.

The thong on this one is the same quality as the thong with the Sheer Pleasure chemise. The front panel is the nylon/spandex fabric with stripes. It’s a really amazing fit and comfortable enough for everyday use. The place where it sits on my hips is comfortable, and the front panel is actually wide enough for my fleshy self. The straps stayed in place without cutting into my hips. Totally a great piece. I’d buy just thongs from Seven Til Midnight if they were all this quality.

I have yet to clean this, but I know I won’t be going the washer method (unless I toss it in a pillowcase or something) because of how fragile it is. However, I have washed the thong with the rest of my clothes and it survived just fine. As the elastic straps are so thin, they will wear over time. Just how that goes.

So the bottom line? This is cute. It fits nicely. The quality could see some improvements but, overall, I recommend the Midnight Confidential Chemise and Thong Set.

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Crystal Whip

October 16th, 2010

Crystal Whip

Crystal Whip

This product is no longer available from Liberator, but Babeland now sells a nearly-identical version from Icicles for less than $50.

Babeland carries a flogger with crystal details and a glass handle that I thought was ridiculously gorgeous. I pooled my resources and soon this whip was in my hands. It’s a piece by Liberator, who you all know for their sex position pillows and furniture but whom I also know for a glass piece I have.

The Crystal Whip comes in a suede pouch that ties with ribbons. It’s much bigger than the actual toy and you could steal it for another toy if you wanted. The whip itself really isn’t a whip–but a flogger (it’s not the only one I’ve tried, either). The handle is a glass cylinder that is etched witch smooth wavy lines down the length. There’s a bulbous shape on the end which is good for grasping but may also be used for penetration–maybe. I thought the handle would be larger than it is. It’s a bit over 6″ long and has a diameter of .79″. As it’s glass and rigid, it can certainly feel larger than it is but it’s quite narrow and requires some maneuvering to reach the right places without a curve.

If you do use it internally, you’ll want to be careful when washing to keep the tails out of the stream of water. You’ll also want to carefully wash and lubes from the shaft so that it won’t be slippery during use as a flogger. It would absolutely suck to have it fly out of your hand and hurt someone unintentionally, or break something (can we say Wiimote?) or simply break itself.

Of course, this isn’t really the type of flogger that you aim and swing with all your might. I think it’s best suited to light play. If you aim at extremely sensitive areas and the tails fall so just the tips hit, there’s a tingly sting but it’s really quite light. If you’re not aiming quite so precisely or flogging an area that’s not exceptionally sensitive, it’s really not painful. The lambskin tails are ridiculously soft and I personally just felt them sliding silkily over my skin. It’s like a massage.

And the tails are super sensual–shiny leather on one side and unfinished on the inside. Both feel delicious when they touch the skin and if you hold it under your nose, you can detect the scent of real leather. Sorry vegans. In all, there are 32 tails that are flat strips of lambskin. They’re wrapped in circles around the end of the handle and, I assume, glued. The upper edge of the leather is then wrapped in a silver material that could be metal or painted plastic in four flowery, filigree type designs. In the center of each of these flowers is a crystal. Sadly to say, it took less than five minutes for one of these crystals to fall off after opening the Crystal Whip. I guess it just wasn’t glued on very well. The crystals catch the light and glisten with colour but I don’t think they really add that much to the appearance of this piece. Just my opinion.

The tails are about 2″ longer than the handle itself and are cut to angled points. When swinging, the tails stay together nicely and you don’t have to re-gather them to perform moves such as a figure eight. Because of the petite size of this, it’s super easy to wield and make quick movements that larger floggers would hinder. The handle is the heavier party of this flogger but, as it’s so small, it won’t tired your arm as quickly as heavier floggers or whips.

The tails of this feel so luxurious. I need more leather and suede in my life. I don’t want some bachelor pad but, my God, this is an awesome piece. If you have any interest at all in glass, lambskin, flogging or simply attractive sex/BDSM gear, then the Crystal Whip should go into your cart the next time you visit Babeland.

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Pure Silicone B.O.B.

October 15th, 2010

Pure Silicone B.O.B.

Pure Silicone B.O.B.
N/A from

This is an archived review of a discontinued item.

I am at a point in my sex life where I generally prefer silicone toys. They’re safer. They’re versatile. They come in awesome colours. When a sex toy store wants me to do a review, but they don’t carry any silicone, I doubt whether I want to work with them, but let me say this: silicone alone is not a great toy make. Really, a mediocre design will not be saved by the material.

California Exotic’s Pure Silicone B.O.B. falls squarely into this category. It’s a realistically designed, phallic vibrator in silicone. Mine came in a bright pink. I mean bright. It has a vein-like texture, a contoured head and expands in a ball-inspired toward the design. This expansion is complete with a few dozen soft poky things.

They are, as you can imagine, useless. They don’t really stimulate the entrance to my vagina and the toy isn’t flexible enough that I can bend it toward my clit. The testicle design doesn’t offer anything physically, either. You might use it to grasp the toy, however. The shaft is slightly flexible. I say this because around the halfway mark, you can tell that the Pure Silicone B.O.B. is covering some hard structure inside. When I would clench or tried to bend the toy as mentioned, this hard structure was uncomfortable against my G-spot but I simply prefer toys that are a little softer in that area. You can probably achieve about 30 degrees of bending.

In use, I found the toy to just be a little small. It only has a diameter of 1.14″. It may be good for beginners but not me, personally. The small shaft is straight and the difference between the shaft and head size is smaller than I am used to. I had a hard time stimulating my G-spot with this vibrator and that’s pretty unusual.

However, its easy to use. There’s a single power button that turns it on or off and another button to cycle through the settings. If you press the second button when the Pure Silicone B.O.B. is off, it will turn on. It’s an interesting toy because it remembers the setting you left it on. I find this interesting but not necessarily practical because it confuses me as to which setting it will be on. Maybe it’s just me, but starting on a low, steady vibe makes sense and helps to orient me.

Anyway, I’d be more oriented if I could tell the settings apart and.. it’s super hard. The Pure Silicone B.O.B. uses 2AA batteries but I was not expecting the vibrations to as buzzy as they are. I mean, if you didn’t know better, you’d almost expect this to use a single AAA battery or even watch batteries. It’s ridiculous. I have no idea why you’d create a vibrator that uses 2 AAs but not make it use them to their full potential.

I’m not lying when I say that I can only tell the settings apart by sound. They all feel exactly the same. There’s supposedly “10 extreme functions of vibration, pulsation, and escalation” but all I feel is one: not strong or deep enough. So while this is waterproof, I cannot imagine using it in the shower and actually being able to feel the vibrations.

The waterproof aspect makes it easy to clean, however. You can rinse away and lubes (water-based only) and give it a good scrub.

Ultimately, the Pure Silicone B.O.B. is certainly not my battery-operated best friend. I’m not sure that calling it “buddy” is even all that applicable. It’s more like the guy at the party who likes you but doesn’t get the hint that the feelings aren’t shared. Sorry, BOB.

CEN Sexpert

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Image © MisterUnlucky; used with permission.