The Way I See It

March 26th, 2010

There have been so many posts in this corner of the internet lately which bitch about, well, just about everything. I think we all understand that sex is personal and people have a lot of gut reactions to things whether it be rape culture or cheating or corporate politics. And, far be it for me to say that people shouldn’t feel how they do or even that they should or should not post something on their own blogs but.. I bet that if we all spent a little more time focusing on what is right in our little corner of the web (and lives, in general), we might just feel a little bit better.

If there’s one thing I am learning, it is that our experiences are coloured by our attitudes. Certainly, there are many legitimately negative things in the world today and they do carry over into cyberspace but the opposite is also true. So before you stop reading because you think I am going to bitch about how everyone else is bitching, I’m not. That won’t get any of us anywhere. Instead, I’m choosing to see things through a different filter and you might be surprised how things appear.

For instance, I’ve happened to notice how freaking awesome it is to get free shit just ’cause I talk about it. So I’m pretty grateful to a bunch of companies who allow me to do that. I’m completely blown away by the response I get from actual manufacturers who care what I say about their products or companies who are interested what I have to say about their business or website. This reviewing and consumer interaction concept is something sort of foreign in many markets and I can respect that. Plus, I do get a lot of feedback from other consumers like myself. My reviews actually help people shop.

And, for whatever reason, people read this blog. They care about what I have to say and some of them even care about me as a person and what happens in my life. That? Is the bee’s knees. Dated cliches aside, I am truly appreciative of the friends I have made via this little blog o’ mine. This blog has even helped me earn money. In fact, I could pay for all my domains and hosting by affiliate commissions alone so I can actually say this site pays for itself.

But wait, there’s more!

My activity around these blogs and communities has also been an enlightening one. There is much to learn, so many different perspectives I’d never considered or even knew about to consider. There are so many opportunities to see thing from another’s point of view and to help spread the word. There is so much productive, helpful and eye opening discussion going on everywhere you look. Few other areas on the internet foster healthy communication that way.

It’s pretty cool to talk about sex all the time, too.

All things considered, there seems to be a lot of bright side to look at.

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For Your Nymphomation Adult Toybox

March 23rd, 2010

For Your Nymphomation Adult Toybox

For Your Nymphomation Adult Toybox

FYN no longer makes toy boxes, but I highly recommended Lovehoney’s deluxe toy cases, which come in multiple sizes. 

I was really excited when I found out I was going to get to review the FYN Adult Toybox from TabuToys. I have tried a variety of toy storage options but nothing which is super portable or as functional as the For Your Nymphomation products are purported to be. In addition to that, nothing I have would fit under my bed because of the low side rails, except for this box.

Obviously, a box which someone might pick because it is especially shallow is not a box which will hold every toy in your collection (unless, of course, it is a fledgling collection). Still, I was a bit surprised at just how small the Adult Toybox is, as I removed it from the shipping box. The measurements are 12″ by 9″ by 2.25″. I guess “12 inches” sounds kind of big but, once you get down to it, it’s not. It looks a bit like a mini, rounded briefcase and even has the handle to boot! But because the sides are thin, the interior is not much smaller than the exterior, thankfully. The rounded corners do reduce the storage space a bit but, then again, it makes it a bit more robust and you won’t be squashing the corners. It’s also small enough to be easily portable; although; I wouldn’t mind it being wider but this is definitely the smaller version of the toy boxes (the other is 12″ x 18″ and still quite portable).

One of the unique features of the toybox is how the hardware on the zippers slide together with a small hole through which a lock can be slipped. FYN includes a tiny padlock and 2 keys (which come attached on a chain) and it is much like the Devine padlock: more of a novelty than anything (definitely easy to pick). While the idea is good, only a lock of a similar size will fit. I am sure some exist but I have never seen a legitimate lock of that size. Also, the zippers glow in the dark to make it easy to find (if you make sure to position it so the locks are visible).

The exterior is a purple faux leather. It is is visually “textured” to look like leather with a slight shine that won’t really fool anyone. The exterior is what is considered hard case and I would wipe it down with a damp cloth if it needed cleaning. It’s also easy to manipulate and could easily be slid under a bed. I have a small bag which would fit under my bed but wouldn’t get under there so efficiently. On the front of the case is a handle, a strip of purple nylon (like a backpack strap) which is covered with a similar faux leather in the center (where you would grasp it). Overall, the craftsmanship seems secure.

In terms of colour, I personally do not love the purple. It’s kind of dull and dark and not pretty. I also find the trim and nylon parts do not really match the faux leather. FYN does make the case in other faux leather colours and even other materials, however. Purple is also not super discreet.

Upon opening the case, there is a thin, elastic strap sewn onto the inside of the lid. The elastic is sewn in permanently with 4 separate spaces for toys, bottles or other items; however, because these spaces are not adjustable, they will not work well for everyone. If the handle is facing you, the elastic spaces get progressively smaller toward the right measuring just under 5″, 3″, 2″ and 2″. The two on the very right are quite narrow and would fit a very thin toy, like the Alumination or, I imagine, some of Jimmyjanes narrow toys. I can fit a couple of smaller bottles of lube in the third space and two larger ones in the last but remember that items you might place in these spaces are 3D and you have to compare the width of the spaces to the circumference of the toys.

On the lid I have:

In the main compartment, there is a soft pocket with a stretchy edge, like in much luggage. It is the entire length of the case and about half the width. I find this works well for chargers or packets of wipes. The more you put in there, the less you can put atop of it inside the compartment, however. The compartment will definitely hold a couple full sized rabbits and a variety of smaller toys.

Currently, the large compartment holds

It’s quite the collection. However, I was a bit eager to pack everything in there when I got it and the way I had it arranged looked good.. until I closed the box. Silly me forgot that stuff that takes up room on the lid will take up room in the box when closed so I had to rearrange. Additionally, I find that the lining, which is the same smooth nylon-type as some suitcases or umbrellas is quite slippery. Unless the items in the elastic band are a really tight fit, they tend to slide down into the box when closing it. It would be nice if the lid was lined with something else that is a bit grabbier (or if the straps were somehow adjustable). Fleece might work? However, FYN claims that this material is water resistant and can easily be cleaned with soap+water damp cloth which is a plus and I do like that the nylon isn’t going to lint all over my toys either.

When everything is secured and zipped up, there will be movement when picking up the Adult Toy box but it is minimal. Of course, if you have yours less packed, things will move more. It feels secure when carrying it, not like the bottom is going to fall out or anything and the handle is well sewed, too. Plus, since I can lock it, I know the zippers won’t come undone, either. You mean your zippers don’t have a mind of their own?

Obviously, this is a handy dandy toy storage solution but there is still room for improvement. Less slippery lining and adjustable straps on the lid (and perhaps an extra strap to hold things in place) would be awesome. It’s not critical but it would be great if TabuToys also carried the black version which would offer more discretion, even in public places. Plus, the purple is just a little disappointing.

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Dai-Do #5

March 22nd, 2010

Dai-Do #5

Dai-Do #5

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

I fell in love with this entire line of metal dildos when B3 released them. They all looked sleek and refined but, unfortunately, were not received with as much enthusiasm from everyone else. The reviews were generally lukewarm so I held off from adding any pieces to my collection. Still, my curiosity was piqued, and I decided to give Dai-Do #5 a try. I haven’t had a lot of success with bulby toys but I really like the idea of the design and I wasn’t sure I would like the other designs.

The Dai-Do line is made of aluminum and stainless steel and the first thing I noticed was how incredibly heavy the Dai-Do #5 felt. It is “only” 14oz but it feels heavier than that and perhaps heavier than any of the other metal toys I have. The condensed shape means the bulk of the weight fall into a short length and is especially focused on the largest ball (the handle end) of the dildo instead of being more evenly spread throughout the toy. The weight is distributed more evenly with both the Pure Wand and Alumina Revolve. Some people like weightier toys, but this definitely could pose a problem if you have bone or joint issues.

My Dai-Do #5 came in a deep red and the ball shapes reflect the world around it like looking at a stack of glass Christmas tree bulbs. It’s a fantastic-looking piece, and I am not sure any photos can actually depict how it will appear to the naked eye. The pieces also come in black, but I thought they might look flat, so I opted for red.

At the very end of the handle, the B3 logo is painted and can be felt with a finger. I have not been able to scratch it off but that might be possible to do over time. Around the center of the largest ball is a black silicone “grip” onto which is attached a metal plaque with the B3 logo. The band itself is soft and slightly flexible but, obviously, there isn’t much give because it is surrounding metal. There is a thin, silver band on either side of the silicone for an overall sleek look and the “slip resistant” band-aids in grasping the toy. However, there are some nooks and crannies within the area which could harbor unseen bacteria but this area is probably not going to super exposed to fluids because…

The ball is huge. The diameter is around 2″ which makes it pretty much useless, maybe not completely because I am sure it could be inserted with proper warm up and lube but it is not designed for that. In comparison, the insertable portion of the shaft is both tiny (the largest bulb is 1.6″ in diameter) and short (3.5″) because the ball detracts from the overall length. While the larger end is supposed to aid in wielding the dildo in the palm of your hand, I found the opposite to be true. It is bulky enough that it can hinder more detailed movements; although rotating the shaft or moving it in a circular motion works well. The lack of length can also hinder thrusting. However, this dildo would be pretty anal-safe, but since I do not own a P-spot, I cannot discuss its effectiveness in that manner.

With the handle pressed right up to the entrance of the vagina, it’s a bit difficult to feel the largest bulb. The smaller balls feel, too small. The sensation is a bit harsh to me and disappointing. The shaft definitely feels smaller than it looks, and those looking for girth may be disappointed. When I was able to adjust the angle to achieve some thrusting, it was difficult to stimulate the exact spots I wanted and my G-spot is shallow and easy to reach. Dai-Do #5 is just not the perfect, universal G-spot dildo.

However, the slick metal makes insertion a breeze with little prep or lubrication. I would stick to water-based just in case some gets on the silicone grip. The gradually increasing balls aid in insertion as well. I also enjoy how cool this metal dildo feels during initial insertion (it remains quite cool during storage) but temperature could easily be altered with warm water or potentially warming/cooling products.

The dildo is also easy to clean. I frequently used Afterglow wipes and the surface wipes clean easily. Soap and water washing will also do the trick, but I have heard some personal accounts about the metal reacting strangely to boiling, so I would not advise going that route. Use a bleach solution to wipe, instead, if sterilization is your end.

B3 has included a satin bag with their Dai-Do line of toys. I find the ribbons that cinch it are designed a little oddly, and there is definitely more length than is necessary. It’s still functional but a little.. odd.

I think I would have enjoyed the Dai-Do #5 more if so much of it wasn’t dedicated to being a handle so that the insertable portion of the shaft was both longer and girthier. A smaller “handle” would have made it easier for me to wield. However, someone else might love the feel as well as the polished look, the ability to incorporate temperature play and the ease of cleaning and insertion.

uiktgyh

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Sex and Love

March 21st, 2010

I never felt like a typical female in regards to sex and love. I guess I didn’t really see them as necessarily connected; although, I thought they could be and when they are it can improve upon both aspects. While I have thoroughly enjoyed the sex I have had with my husband, there have only been a few times when I felt that sex qualified as “love making” and this did prove to be a bit disheartening at times.

I guess I hadn’t realized that the act itself was something I was able to enjoy, for the most part, because I do love my husband. As much as I enjoy sex in and of itself, I would not be able to enjoy it with a person whom I did not trust. I would not enjoy it were I not comfortable with my partner. It would not be satisfying if I doubted that person’s intentions or if I were worried about my safety. While not all of these things require a loving or romantic relationship, they do go well together and it does make me feel a greater connection between sex and love.

I am not entirely sure if my husband realizes that there is a connection at all. After all, our relationship started off on a sexual foot and while that is not entirely bad (previously, I had not known how to add sexuality to my relationships so getting it out of the way at the first has its benefits), I do think it left an inaccurate impression. To put it bluntly, I think my husband thinks of me as more promiscuous than I am (not that promiscuity if bad, just that I am not really). He does not realize how large a role that he, specifically, plays in my ability to be sexual. He views himself or any potential partner of mine as replaceable and I think there is at least some hard feelings because of it. It saddens me.

I suppose, if it weren’t him, it would have been someone else.. eventually but I think that eventually would have taken a few more years at the very least. I didn’t have any plan about losing my virginity. I wasn’t ready to give it away in middle school nor was I waiting for some biblically appropriate moment. The time simply felt right with him so I had sex for the first time with someone I cared for a great deal and, overall, it was a positive experience which has led to more positive sexual experiences.

But I do wish I had come to realize how intertwined the two can be for me earlier so that I could share it with him.

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Bubbles

March 19th, 2010

Bubbles

Bubbles
$74 from Store.OfSexAndLove.com

This is an archived review of a discontinued toy.

Bubbles is a cute, albeit short, G-spot vibrator available in fitting bubblegum pink. It gets its name from its appearance – a series of bulbs on the shaft that look like bubbles. Typical of most Fun Factory vibrators, the silicone of Bubbles is soft and pliable; although, the core of the toy is not, so the shaft is not uber flexible. Toward the end, the bubbles are pure, soft silicone so the head can be flexed a bit this way and that. Although Bubbles might look almost fluffy in photos, it is not that soft.

Unlike many G-spot toys (like the Orchid G), Bubbles is wider and more filling. While I do not particularly enjoy super thin toys, I found the specific shape, size, and perhaps even material of this vibrator to be difficult to maneuver and insert, even with an abundant amount of water-based lube and arousal. Bubbles will probably be a better fit for someone whose G-spot is not as shallow as mine; I usually prefer a less angled head than that on this vibrator and the fit was just not comfortable where I needed the vibrator to sit. In addition to this, Bubbles may be too short to reach some G-spots because it is only insertable 4.5 inches.

Because of the separate bulges, Bubbles has a variety of widths. It seems to be wider right where it curves (the second to last “bubble”), and it has a diameter of 1.6″. The lower bubbles are around the same girth, while the bubble on the end is slightly smaller with a 1.5″ diameter. Obviously, it is less girthy between the bubbles, but this seems to make it harder for me to maneuver. Having such a wide bulge at the curve point also hinders movement.

Although the shape was not ideal, I found the vibrations satisfactory. They are not incredibly deep and do not quite compare with the Sinfflut Intensity (also from Fun Factory), but are fairly strong, especially for a toy of its size. There multiple settings of vibration are controlled by two buttons: one which powers on the toy/increases vibration and one which decreases vibration/turns off the toy. The symbols are embossed into the silicone itself and you have to press through it to control the toy. I found this to be a little difficult as the softer silicone requires an exact touch, and my fingernails frequently get in the way. I would much prefer hard plastic buttons at the base.

There are about 6 modes of steady vibration. Toward the higher settings, they do tend to blend together. There are also three pulsating modes, which are essentially slow pulse, medium pulse, and fast pulse. I do not think my Bubbles originally pulsated correctly at first but it does now.

In use, Bubbles is not whisper-quiet but would probably not be heard through a closed door even on the higher settings.

Bubbles is also unique because it is part of Fun Factory’s line of new click-and-charge vibrators. These rechargeable vibrators run on an internal battery and connect to a magnetic charger at their base (which is small, rounded, and plastic, so it may become slippery during use), which then plugs into the wall. The toy and charger have Fun Factory logos that must be lined up. When charging, a red light on the charger indicates status but my charger actually seems to have a broken light (but it still works).

The toy does come charged which is a plus. Although it says these toys should be charged before first use (and that charge can take up to 6 hours), I did not charge mine. The manual states that the toy can be used for approximately 1 hour on the highest setting. I used it 2 – 3 times before charging it, and it definitely did not lose any strength.  Bubbles can’t be used while charging; it will switch off. The setup does not allow a toy to be ruined by overcharging, which is always nice.

Because there are no ports or holes or anything of the sort, Bubbles is completely waterproof and can be played with in the shower or bath. This also makes cleaning a cinch because the soft silicone will attract lint that is hard to remove with cleaning wipes or sprays. I find running water does the trick much better.

While my anatomy did not love Bubbles, it is a quality toy and the click and charge system is pretty awesome. I definitely want to check out other BiMini vibes from Fun Factory.

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Bad Thoughts

March 15th, 2010

The past few months have taught me a lot about relationships, expectations, love, perception and healthy attitudes. In some ways, I feel like a relationship expert (I’m not.. yet) and I know I have been and will continue learning skills that will not only help me have successful relationships (and that is worth imparting to my loved ones during their challenges) but I am developing skills to help me be happier no matter what my relationship status is.

As patient as I am trying to be with my husband, as hopeful as I am trying to be about this situation, it is difficult not to feel hurt and not to entertain thoughts that are simply not helpful. Ultimately, I feel a bit betrayed by my husband, my life and perhaps most importantly, myself. I feel so foolish for believing that this time would be different, that he would be different. I wonder why I ever thought it could work. What proof have I ever had that it could? Indeed, everything I have seen or experienced indicates that relationships just do not work. Ever.

I know, I know. It’s not productive. But I just cannot be productive all the time. At the very least, I can control it enough that I am not sobbing over Haagen Das. And I’m not screaming at my husband about how he’s hurt me and making it into an argument so that’s good. I am able to contain the thoughts that they are not quite ruining (running?) my life.

I feel especially silly when I think how far I’ve come in regards to my thoughts about marriage. I went from thinking it’s nothing but a sham to believing maybe it can work to wondering if maybe it is only a sham after all and I should have kept thinking the way I did because then I wouldn’t be hurting like I am. Except I know that you have to let people in and learn to trust again even if it means sometimes starting over. And as much as I hate feeling like I’m back at square one, the logical part of me knows that you cannot reap the rewards without taking the risk and I will take that risk again whether with someone else or whether my husband chooses to work on our marriage. Even if I don’t want to think about it now, cannot imagine ever being with someone else.

My bad thoughts creep up when I am alone and at night, right before bed. To combat them, I’ve been scouring the internet for inspiring quotes (I mention this in an upcoming post I wrote for EdenCafe), calling friends or sometimes distracting myself by jerking off. It’s still a work in progress, though.

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Beyond #1

March 12th, 2010

Beyond 1 G-spot Vibrator

Beyond 1 G-spot Vibrator
N/A from

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

If this G-spot vibrator looks familiar, it’s probably because it was designed akin to Ophoria’s Beyond 3 dildo except, where the dildo has an “S” shape with a loop at the base for maneuverability (or inserting a bullet), the vibrator has a straighter base that houses the batteries. Otherwise, both toys share an enlarged and rounded head intended to stimulate the G-spot. They are both quality made, out of silicone (although the Beyond 1 cannot be boiled to sterilize because of the mechanical parts) and have three soft ridges on the shaft for extra stimulation. However, the Beyond 1 has a pretty silver band separating the shaft and battery cap; it contracts nicely with the silicone (mine is black). Beyond 1 is also shorter with a total length of 7.5″ and an insertable length of, offering about 6.5″ for insertion.

As this is my first Ophoria toy, I do not know about other products, but the presentation was nice. Some might use the box for storage, but I prefer the pouch. It is black, extremely soft, and not linty – perhaps microfiber. It’s also unique in that the storage pouch does not have one open end that cinches. Indeed, it is more like an envelope and the toy slips in lengthwise. Then, the whole thing is tied up with ribbon.

The silicone of the Beyond 1 is definitely more firm than it is soft. Most of the shaft seems to be silicone-covered plastic without give. The head is also a thick silicone, which is firm as well, but the area right below the head (near the three ridges) is thinner and not covered with plastic, so it can be bent a bit. The silicone of this vibrator is smooth and velvety but will pick up lint if it is not in its pouch. The silver band next to the battery cap is painted plastic while the cap itself is plastic with a softer power button.

Battery installation is easy, and the Beyond 1 actually comes with the required 2 AAA batteries. That is always a nice touch. The directions for batteries are engraved into the plastic of the toy for easy reference, and the cap itself slides and locks into place. Beware that this toy is not waterproof and take care when cleaning.

The Beyond 1 G-spot vibrator is incredibly easy to use, with one button to power it on, off, and toggle through modes – of which there are 9. Although there is only one button, the toy can be turned off at any time by holding it down for a few seconds. This is preferable to having to cycle through all the modes but I would prefer an instant off because you still do have to wait. I find it’s actually quicker to just pull out the batteries (although I doubt that is healthy for the life of the toy).

The nine modes of vibration include a low, medium and high steady vibration and six other pulsation and escalation settings. While these settings are interesting, many of them are quite similar and the Beyond 1 would not be less of a toy without them; indeed, I find nine settings to be just a bit of overkill these days.

The vibrations are not incredibly high-pitched but do lack the depth that I really love. Yet, despite this, I found the Beyond 1 to perform well. My G-spot is pretty sensitive to vibrations, and squirting was easy – once I got the toy inserted. Although the shaft of the Beyond 1 is not giant (it has a 1.5″ diameter) and the shaft is fairly slim, the difference in size between the head and shaft of the toy is pretty drastic and can make insertion difficult or even painful, especially given the unique design of the head of the toy. Even when I was well lubricated (water based only) and aroused, I had some difficulty. It was definitely easier for me to use Beyond 1 after playing with other insertables. I imagine this will prevent the Beyond 1 from being comfortable or enjoyable to use for some people because of their builds and would definitely not recommend it to a sex toy newbie.

Honestly, I have used the Beyond 1 for less for G-spot play than I have externally which might seem odd but given my preference for broader, rounded surfaces, the Beyond 1 really fit the bill. I can move it against myself in such a way that reminds me of a penis rubbing on my clit to produce some nice orgasms. Because my G-spot is fairly shallow, I can almost use the Beyond 1 as a dual stimulator, inserting just more than the head, but it’s not ideal.

While I am pleasantly surprised by the versatility of this vibrator, I do have some less-than-thrilling thoughts. After my first use (and second wash), the Beyond 1 G-spot vibrator has begun to rattle during use. It still works fine, and sometimes I can’t even notice the rattling (like when it’s under a blanket), but it is more noticeable during pulsation settings and a bit annoying. Even with the rattle, Beyond 1 is pretty quiet and couldn’t be heard through a closed door, but it’s not as silent as the phrase “whisper quiet technology” suggests.

Additionally, I could not feel the under the head during use. The toy might even be easier to maneuver without the extra texture, but that is just an educated guess on my part. On a semi-related note, some folks experienced painful issues with seams on other Ophoria toys, including the Beyond 3 dildo. Still, while the seams are visible to the eye and tactile to the fingers, they were not noticeable in use.

I do really like Ophoria’s Beyond 1 G-spot vibrator. I usually do not find G-spot vibrators to be very versatile, and this may be the first one that can be used internally and externally for me, so I will definitely keep it handy.

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Image © MisterUnlucky; used with permission.