This is an archived review of a discontinued toy.
This month’s (okay, last month’s, I guess) Sexpert toy from California Exotics is the Symphony Massager. It’s true to its name (massager) and discretely looks nothing like a sex toy at all. In fact, as I sit here gazing at it, I find it difficult to describe the type of toy it is. There’s a nod, to some high-end toys, like the Form 6 or even one of the Lelo toys, except the Symphony Massager isn’t dual-ended, and I have no desire whatsoever to insert it.
A few of the basics. This is a plastic toy. It has a velvety finish. It comes in lavender (what I have) and white. It measures 8″ from tip to tip, and you can insert a little under 4.5.” The widget varies: the ends are wider than the center, with the handle end being wider than the insertable end, which is ovular (not a perfect circle) and has a circumference of 4.75.” The thinnest part of the insertable portion has a circumference of 3.25.”
The vibrations are focused at the insertable. Oddly enough, there is a little dimple on the top of this end. I guess it could be used for clitoral stimulation, but I think it’s kind of useless because then the angle of the toy would make it curve away from your body. I prefer toys that mimic the curve of my pubic bone, I guess. The angle on this toy is really unique and quite high. If I set the toy on a flat surface so it rests on either tip, I can slip four fingers into the open area created by the angle (under the toy). That really has no significance, but I think it’s fun and such.
The Symphony Massager uses a single push button to operate. It sits inside another dimple, toward the center of the toy but on the handle end. It’s surrounded by silver, and it sticks up a lot. I say this because I like buttons that are easy to find, and this one is! My nails don’t get in the way. It’s not right next to another equally tiny button. I like it a lot.
When you press this button, you will cycle through several settings: low steady vibration, high steady vibration, short-short-long pulsation, short pulsation, and a weird back-and-forth sort of pulse that I am failing to describe well. If you’re paying attention, then you’ll notice that there is no “medium” setting. I constantly skip to the first pulsation setting because I want something stronger. It’s a force of habit that is hard to break and California Exotics might due better to just stick to what has worked thus far.
Because the Symphony Massager runs on 2AAAs the vibrations are buzzy and the pulsation lacks “oomph.” This is the kind of toy that mostly makes me tingle a little, but then I reach for something stronger, as I did. I cannot recall if I got off from this because it does have a broader surface, which I like externally. If I did, I wasn’t much impressed.
Now, I didn’t bring this anywhere near my internal organs. For one, it just doesn’t seem like an internal toy to me. Secondly, there is a ridiculous seam running through the plastic, all the way around. Needless to say, this isn’t anywhere close to waterproof, nor would I ever recommend sharing it without some sort of gamma-ray.. stuff. Either plastic piece of this toy seems to be melted together in two locations on the insertable part. I’m not sure if it’s supposed to melt seamlessly the whole way or if it just connects at those points but.. it’s weird. It seems cheap, and while many would not be able to feel it in use, it ‘s just not something I want inside me.’
It’s funny that the pieces would be so far apart because the battery pack is tight. I think CEN used all the recalled China shrink cream on this because wow, just wow! You have to turn the cap to the correct position to unlock it and pull it off. Be prepared to give a forceful yank and have your batteries fly in your face to fully remove it. Then you might chuckle because the is, indeed, a plastic O-ring in there. The same move in reverse replaces the cap.
My verdict, as you can see, is this is not the toy for me. Were the quality better, it’d be a decent, basic toy–inexpensive, potential versatile, easy to use and varied. Now, it just feels cheap.
It’s a shame this is so cheaply made, it looks so pretty in the pictures. Oh, well. Hopefully they’ll take this one back to the drawing board.