Five Minute Erotica

December 30th, 2008

Five Minute Erotica
12.86 from Amazon

I’m sure I’m not alone when I say that I sometimes feel as though I spend more time looking for masturbation material than I do actually using it. Although images and movies and literature are available by the truckloads online, it’s not always easy to find quality material (and, let’s face it, I’m cheap) which is free. While Five Minute Erotica isn’t necessarily free, it’s reasonably priced and will be your own volume to peruse on many occasions, which I believe you will.

Five Minute Erotica is full of – as you might have guessed – short stories and prose, also known as sudden fiction. Most of the nearly 40 stories range between one and five pages, so it’s perfect if you’re already revved up and just need something to get your engine going. Of course, if you want to read a handful of stories, this anthology will work well. However, this is probably not the type of erotica best for those who like lots of character development. While filled with characters and surprisingly powerful events and relationships, the point of this is not to be prolonged. If you know you want something quick and easy, this is it.

Also, while everything is sexual in nature, it’s not always about sexual things happening. Some of the stories simply show us glimpses into the sexual thoughts of characters, such as what they like or abstract memories. Sex isn’t always happening, but it’s there. When I began the book, I wasn’t in the mood, but a couple of stories helped to change it, and the short stories didn’t require much effort from me as a reader to do so.

I liked that the stories’ authors, themes, styles, and formats were varied. Some dealt with sex with strangers or lovers and even voyeurism. One story was in the form of an e-mail between lovers, while another used only commas for punctuation. Written in third and first person, by women and men, there really is a little bit of everything here. I would guess that most people would be satisfied (if they’re interested in this sort of thing) although I can’t guarantee you’ll like everything. I quickly skipped over a story that had toe-sucking in it (sorry, that’s a “No” thing to me), and, of course, there are some I forgot. Overall, however, I enjoyed this book, and it’s certainly of a higher caliber than what is readily available online.

Among my favorites was a story with tentacle sex, where a young woman who is driving becomes lost and abducted by aliens only to experience pleasure-giving mouths at the ends of tentacles. In A Closer Encounter, Blake C Aaren writes:

An infinite number of tentacles rove all over Tasha’s body. Stroking, caressing, inching. Nibbling. A tentacle of her own -of her wetness- trails down the inside of Tasha’s thigh.

This isn’t my normal flavor of erotica, but the writing did it for me!

I also really enjoyed a story in which a woman is dressed as a cat for a party and engages in intercourse with her partner. During the session, she acts and verbalizes as only a cat. I was intrigued by the role-playing in this story, Bad Kitty, told by Thomas Roche.

I wonder if it is a coincidence that the stories most memorable for me are written by men or, for that matter, that they are more unusual. I must say, though, that most of the stories are of a more vanilla style, which is fine by me but might be a little tame for some. Aside from some very light bondage, Five Minute Erotica does not cater to those with taboo or kinky fetishes. Still, it’s a good, light read.

Overall, I think Carol Queen did a good job as editor, picking high-quality stories by writers of all sorts of notoriety. She also contributed a piece herself – The Bounty of Summer – after which I will never look at fruit the same again. While I didn’t enjoy the first story being the one that uses only commas for punctuation (I found this a confusing opening piece), I found it easy to go from one story right into the next.

Other than that, I wasn’t distracted by language errors like I’ve done with amateur erotica in the past, which pleased me immensely. I did notice that the margins are rather small, and I wasn’t overly fond of the font used for headings and the table of contents.

Although I read this from beginning to end, you can easily pick up just about anywhere in the book, which is one of the pluses of such a gathering of stories. This would make a great book for partners to read aloud to each other (although I did not because it’s not our thing). Another plus is the author blurbs at the end of the book. If you really like an author, it can help to point you to their other published pieces.

The downfall of such a collection is that if you find something you like, it isn’t going to last forever. Also, if you want something, in particular, you might not find (enough of) it because this book does cram in such a variety.

This was a great foray into erotica for me. Now that I have read more erotica, I can confidently say that I look back at this book fondly–and keep meaning to reread it.  If you’re looking for something to get you in the mood for some playtime, whether alone or with a partner, consider Five Minute Erotica. The dozens of wonderfully self-contained narratives in this collection are sure to start the libidinous wheels a-turning.

20 Comments

Categories: Books, Reviews

Phallix 24 Karat Gold Double Happiness

December 14th, 2008

Sadly, this is an archived review as Phallix no longer appears to be available to buy. Glas makes a dildo with similar textures.

What did I do when I decided I wanted to try a glass toy, sometihng with more texture or get into more G-spot stimulation? I decided – what the hell – why not do it all. And that’s what I did when I requested to review the Double Happiness glass dildo from Tabu Toys. This small but mighty toy tackles all those new areas for me as well as one more: it’s my first dildo!

One of the reasons I had not tried a glass dildo before is the high price range. I know that they’re loved by pretty much everyone who tries them but I was wary of paying that much for something I didn’t know if I would like. I recall wondering if glass would be too hard because I have a tendency to clamp down on toys. Would it hurt? I’m glad to say that all of my fears were for naught. This double ended glass dildo by Phallix wasn’t painful in any way and the glass gave sensations different form any other toy in my collection.

At just 3/4″ in diameter, the double Happiness is not the biggest toy I’ve inserted. In fact, if you read my review of the Passion Wave, you will see that I’m a recent convert to the idea of bigger toys. But would this smaller, glass dildo do it for me? I’m happy to say “yes.” I experienced no negatives due to the size of this toy, proving once and for all that size isn’t everything.

What this toy is lacking in size it more than makes up for in texture. This dildo has a slight curve and each end is shaped with a head. One end is “wrapped” to create ridges while the other end contains more than a dozen pleasure causing bumps. These textures rise from the shaft about 1/4′ of an inch and do provide a slightly larger girth. This is also where the 24 Karat gold is contained. I must admit, images of this toy online make it seem like the wrapped end has a thin but clear strip of gold within the spiral wrapping. However, in person it would be nearly impossible to tell this glass dildo has 24 Karat gold in it. The “fuming” process which Phallix use does not make it appear as though gold is physically within the glass; however, there is a slight shimmer in the pink bumps and ridges when looking at the toy in the right light and from the right angle.

Although labeled as a double dildo, I find the 7″ shaft is much too small for partner play. The curve is also not enough that you would be able to stimulate the clitoris at the same time as the G-spot. Nevertheless, I was satisfied with this dildo. Its weight felt significant and the quality was high. I know this toy will be apart of my collection for many years to come.

I first used the Double Happiness in the shower. It easily slid between my pussy lips without any lube at all. It makes sense that glass would glide much easier than silicone and plastic toys but I was still surprised at the ease of penetration. I was relieved not to have to worry about functions and speed and waterproof capabilities for once. There was no pain, only a perfectly shaped dildo between my legs.

I experimented with this glass dildo and quickly came to the realization that I much preferred the bumps over the ridges (perhaps if they were spaced further apart). The texture of this dildo made thrusts that much powerful. Where, before, I was relying on fast and hard thrusts to find pleasure, the defined texture of this toy provided as much sensation with smaller, softer strokes. I could easily feel the little bumps moving against my G-spot and it wasn’t long before I was feeling pleasure much more satisfying than the ‘stimulation’ I’d felt previously from other G-spot toys.

I finished up my shower satisfied but without cumming. I cleaned off the dildo – which was extremely easy to do with the glass – and slipped it into its provided pink satin cinch sac. I love the sac because I know my toy will be easy to find and storage safely. I could do with the white lace trim which does remind me of something a grandmother might wear.

Another day eventually came and I tried this fresh out of the shower, in bed. I applied just a bit of lube and, again, the Double Happiness dildo slid easily into my pussy. Almost immediately, I was feeling pleasure from the ridges and it seemed to press against my G-spot perfectly. Again, I did not orgasm but I really enjoyed the sensations of this toy. I had no idea texture could do so much and the hard glass really helps define the bumps and ridges.

If I have any complaints about this toy, it is the packaging. The plastic clam shell packaging is very bland. In fact, the toy name is not on it. I suspect this is because Phallix uses the same packaging for several of its glass dildos. To me, doing this (and using plastic clam shells to begin with) doesn’t give the right impression. Phallix could easily afford to take measures which say “We are a company making high end toys.”

Overall, I was surprised at just how much pleasure this curved dildo brought. The combination of glass and texture felt divine and while I have yet to orgasm from this toy, I am not giving up hope for the future!

19 Comments

Categories: Dildos, Reviews

Under the Bed Restraints

November 20th, 2008

Under the Bed Restraints
$69.99 from Babeland

I was excited that Babeland would be kind enough to supply me with some Under the Bed Restraints. It seemed like the perfect way to finally bring my interest in BDSM from the internet to the bedroom (and real life). I knew the restraints had been rated highly by many folks before, so I expected a quality product that would allow me to truss up my husband easily.

After the restraints arrived, I spent nearly 2 weeks being unable to use them because of lack of time and other intrusions. We had jested back and forth about using them and finally decided to have them set up for his next “weekend” off. I finally got the chance.

Under the Bed Restraints by Sportsheets were in a smaller package than I expected, but this didn’t mean they would be less impressive. The plastic clamshell box was disappointing with its display of a naked woman that leaves little to the imagination. Sportsheets has since upgraded this to a cardboard box featuring a different woman, so I guess that’s an upgrade.

I was surprised to open the package and see such a small pile of straps, clips, rings and cuffs. I was also worried about how much work it would be to get under the bed as I would be the eonly person installing them, and our mattress is quite large at 17″ high. Despite all my reservations, Under the Bed Restraints came through.

The restraints come with the cuffs unattached, which is how I left them when installing them. There are a total of five straps: one connector strap that goes beneath the mattress and four that connect to either side of that center strap to make the four wrist and ankle straps. Each strap in the set is 60″ long.

To install the under-the-bed restraints, I slid one end of the connector strap and one restraint strap under the head of my mattress, beneath the bed skirt. I pulled the restraint strap until it was roughly even with the other restraint strap, and that side of the connector strap was centered beneath the mattress. I mirrored the process for the foot of the bed, which was more difficult because the left restraint was trying to go over the bed skirt rather than under.

After I straightened it out, I attached the cuffs to each restraint. Each cuff is outfitted with a metal clip (like on the end of a dog leash), and each strap is fitted with a ring where the clip is attached. I pulled on the cuffs for good measure to make sure there was no give in the connecting strap beneath the bed. I adjusted the straps so they had as much room as possible because of our large mattress. We have a queen-sized bed, and I can see this being too small for those with larger beds unless the mattresses are very thin.

After installing the restraint system, I adjusted the straps so there was no slack and tucked them, along with the cuffs, into the bed rails beneath the skirt. They became virtually invisible after I smoothed the bed skirt back down over them. I was excited at the thought of reaching down and cuffing my partner with the seemingly “invisible” restraints. You could also tuck the cuffs beneath the edge of the mattress. This also makes storage extremely easy, and unless I move the bed, I don’t have to do anything but reach for the cuffs when I want to play.

All in all, installation took about 10 minutes by myself and was not extremely difficult despite a cat who kept chasing the straps and working beneath my bed skirt. I only had to lift the edge of the mattress, and then I slid the restraints beneath it, so it was not as much effort as I would have thought. I have also repeated the process twice more since I first got these with no more difficulty.

During this process, I took some time to get to know the restraint system. The straps are woven nylon, similar to some belts, attached to keychain-like rings, and the metal clips seemed to be pretty standard. For someone creative, imitating this setup would not be very difficult. Furthermore, if something breaks on my restraint system, I can replace it without trashing the whole set.

I was impressed with the cuffs, which are lined with super soft felt and measure in at 9.5″, which makes them long enough for even fairly wide wrists. They are fastened with velcro, which makes them easy to use and easy to take off in a hurry, such as if the kids come home early. 😉 The velcro straps are quite long and allow the straps to be adjusted from 5″ to 13.5″ inches (if you don’t mind feeling the velcro on your wrists). Although velcro can be easily pulled apart, these cuffs felt very secure for the type of pulling they would experience.

Putting them on my partner was just as easy, although he wasn’t resisting much. I did use my body weight in my aid when he resisted at first, something that should work for many. The cuffs wrapped comfortably around his wrists and ankles as he lay face up. As I started to tease him with a bullet, I found the straps for his legs had too much give and easily adjusted them by pulling on the straps with one tug. I felt assured that should I need to do the opposite (give slack), that I would be able to do so with one move as well.

I felt that the straps were very secure around his ankles, but no more than a minute after I’d cuffed one wrist, he had gotten out. He has extremely long fingers and was easily able to undo the straps. I would find this much more difficult or even impossible because of my short fingers, but so you might want to consider who will be trussed up. I have continued to use the restraints with other cuffs to eliminate that issue.

Depending on the way someone struggles, they could pull the straps far to one side. The straps also like to slip when not in use because of my bed skirt, and the same would happen on an adjustable base. However, moving them back into place is easy enough by tugging near the cuffs.

Speaking of maintenance, I have yet to wash these as they haven’t gotten any lube or fluids on them. Technically, you could put them into the machine, especially if you put them in some sort of bag. You can also hand wash them without too much hassle. I would let them hang dry, of course.

I thought the restraints added a nice aspect to our play. I was able to tease and tickle him, and, after I tightened the straps, he was helpless. I know he also enjoyed the sensation and felt no discomfort from the cuffs. Under the bed, restraints would also work well for someone who is on their stomach for impact play, such as spanking or flogging. You could also stimulate someone’s chest/breasts or genitals while they’re on their back.

However, your positions are somewhat limited. A person could be spread eagle or stretched with arms above their head and legs closer together or a combination of spread and close limbs. It would be harder to pull the arms and legs together on each side, but you could figure it out. While you could do doggy style, it wouldn’t make as much sense with the restraints. The restraints could be used to bind someone of the right height who is leaning over the bed for better access to genitals and to make a better target of the ass. But you can’t do everything with Under the Bed Restraints.

And that’s okay. They’re practical and easy to use and store bondage solution, and I heartily recommend Under the Bed Restraints to anyone interested in bondage, amateur or pro!

33 Comments

Categories: BDSM, Reviews

BNaughty

October 7th, 2008

BNaughty
N/A from

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

The BNaughty egg vibrator by BSwish is definitely a toy for grown ups! Boasting a velvety smooth feel and 4 powerful levels of vibration, all packed into a completely waterproof package, this is a great egg for sex toy amateurs and connoisseurs alike. Of course, every product has some sort of claim, and as often is the case with sex toys, these claims usually turn out to be false. However, I was definitely open to surprises when the BNaughty (a play on the word “be,” as all of the company’s toys are called) arrived in my mailbox.

One of the first things I noticed was the packaging. The BNaughty comes in a sleek red and black box which matches the toy itself with a modern design featuring a woman in lingerie. The clean lines of the packaging are very mature and would be just as fitting on the packaging for consumer electronics, like an iPod. This slick box is a far improvement over the plastic blister-packaging of adult store “novelties” and gives the BNaughty the impression of being a legitimate product rather than something that should be hidden away.

The box contains a description of the BNaughty, describing its “compact oval shape, its silky touch and pitter-patter vibrations” as well as a few notes such as the necessity of 2 AA batteries (not included) and a warning that the vibrator should not be used on swollen or inflamed body parts and also that the product makes no medical claims. Interestingly enough, it seems that the toy itself is not the only silky thing in the package, the box itself feels very smooth.

The package contains the BNaughty egg vibrator, which is attached to its remote, and an additional small, cinching sac, which is perfectly inconspicuous for carrying or storing the toy. First impressions of the bnaughty were good. I immediately noticed was a delicious colour it was: a vibrant cherry red. This is not the colour one comes to expect from sex toys but, rather, the colour one might expect in fashion or alternative hair! I was very impressed with that aspect alone.

Closer inspection revealed several promising aspects of the toy. Both the remote and egg felt very sturdy and secure, and they had a soft, velvety texture as promised (pet owners rejoice—the material does not collect lint!). Furthermore, there were no chips or cracks anywhere that could cause injury, lead to breaking of the naughty, or make cleaning difficult. Also, the wire between the 2 components was well insulated and connected securely, with caps on either end to ensure waterproofing.

The egg itself is pretty straightforward, a very smooth device, and while not exactly seamless, this shouldn’t be detrimental to the experience. On the other hand, the remote has some improvements over other typical ones. For starters, it’s ergonomically contoured to be comfortable to hold and easy to grip in situations where it’s easy to lose the remote – such as in the shower.Also, since both parts are meant to be waterproof, the battery packed which is housed in the remote has a very tight and secure fit.

I tried the BNaughty first in the shower and then outside. I was very pleased with this vibrator. It’s the first of its kind that I’ve used and it’s very powerful despite it’s small stature. In fact, of it’s 4 settings, I didn’t expect to go any higher than #2. I did find, however, that in the shower, I needed to turn the egg up to 3 to compete with the sensations of the water. The BNaught held up very well in the water, with no problems.

I then took it took the bedroom where I was able to experiment a bit more. Smaller vibes like this one are great to use in a variety of ways as they’re so easy to manipulate and I found exploring this to be quite delightful. Outside of a wet atmosphere, I use the BNaughty on the second setting, usually. I found that this pretty little egg did the trick quite nicely once I got the hang of it.

The BNaughty also works well during couples’ play. It can just as easily be wielded by a partner and, because of its small size, can be used during intercourse, between your bodies, and against the clitoris. I found this to be especially delightful and the BNaughty came through again.

The only downside I experienced with the BNaughty – yes there is 1, but only 1 – was that it was perhaps too powerful. Often, the hand holding the toy took the brunt of the vibrations, which became a little uncomfortable. After playing with the toy for a while, both my hand and clit felt a bit twitchy and uncomfortable. Unfortunately, there’s no way around this because egg vibrators have no handle, and I suppose it’s the price I must pay for the enjoyment the BNaughty gives me otherwise.

My experience with the BNaughty, my first with this style of toy, was very enjoyable. This gorgeous, discreet little vibrator is strong enough for even experienced players yet not threatening in the least. For solo or couples play, the BNaughty proves pleasurable and will certainly enhance your experience.

5 Comments

Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Image © MisterUnlucky; used with permission.