Marcia MV1 Vibrator

March 27th, 2013

maia marcia vibrator

maia marcia vibrator
$28.32 from Amazon

You know what? I love pink. I like pink toys. The color is used so much, but I can eschew traditional gender roles while also matching some of the stereotypes, can’t it? With that said, this vibrator — and all of the designs by Maia Toys — come in some awesome colors. This one is also available in yellow, which you can try to win in this giveaway.

But the one I kept to review was bright freakin’ pink, and the company makes separate packaging that matches the color of your toy. This, while not necessary, feels extra special to me. Aside from the packaging and color, I just liked the design of most of these toys. It reminds me a little bit of Lelo’s toys. There’s clean, sleek lines, and I appreciate that.

This simple vibrator, for example, has a gently curving shaft. The base curves in the other direction at the tip, which gives it a lazy “S” shape. The shaft is rounded, while the base is angled, though, so it’s not perfectly symmetrical. The two parts are separated by a silver band, which is intended to add to the sophisticated appearance. There are crevices around the band and buttons where lubes and liquids could squeeze in. You may not find that these areas on the shaft and base get wet, but it’s worth noting.

In terms of design, there are two oval “cutouts” on the back. There’s a longer one on the shaft and a shorter one on the base, and it’s weird. It doesn’t add anything for me either physically or aesthetically.

However, I do feel as though the control panel dampens this effect just a bit. There are four buttons in silvery-grey plastic, and it just feels a little cheap looking.

The buttons serve as on, off and up and down vibrations. They’re easy to understand, and there’s physical feedback when you press them. Plus, the text and arrows on the buttons isn’t as crisp and clean as it should be, both in printing and design. It almost looks oddly hand written. A red LED glows behind the panel. It glows bright with each of the four levels.

In terms of vibrations, the MV1 is a little disappointing. They’re weak and buzzy. There isn’t a lot of difference between them, and I didn’t find them satisfying.

However, that’s not the case with the girth. It’s got a solid 1.6″ diameter at its widest; although, the shaft isn’t perfectly round. It tapers slightly toward the end of the shaft, but it’s not a tiny vibrator. I find that the squishy silicone, which has give when you squeeze it, feels larger than it is. This usually isn’t the case with softer materials, and the silky smooth silicone doesn’t cause a lot of drag. However, I found that awkawrd suction effect during removal, which I hate.

The battery pack isn’t at the end of the toy, but it’s in the metal by the silver band. It’s one of those half-twist styles, and it’s easy to line up, but it feels crooked at first. There’s a bit of an O-ring, but the battery area is shallow. In terms of construction, this area seems like the weakest in the construction. Even though I don’t love the vibrations, this is put together fairly well.

For the freshman effort by Maia Toys, this isn’t a complete failure. Design and ease of use are great. More power and perhaps some sleeker buttons would give this a better grade, but it does pass. The stores that sell this have it around $60. A drop to the $50 range would be more appropriate in my mind, however.

Nevertheless, I’m excited to write about the other items I’ve received from this company. I’ll also be uploading some photos to my Facebook page of the details because I’m feeling a little too exhausted to do so now.

1 Comment

Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Luxe Euphoria

January 29th, 2013

Luxe Euphoria

Luxe Euphoria
$30.64 from Of Sex and Love Store

In the past, I haven’t loved other Luxe toys I’ve tried. I think they’re all super cute, but they also only run on 2AAAs. That pretty much sums up my experience with the Luxe Euphoria.

And when I try to describe what this thing looks like, I just want to say:

If it looks like a duck and walks like a duck and sounds like a duck.. it’s a vibrator?

I mean, it’s really got a face. California Exotics is taking a cue from the Japanese, I guess. There’s head and a little bill with which you can stimulate yourself. Maybe it’s a platypus. Then, it straightens out for you to hold it. It’s cute. I wouldn’t have picked out this shape, but something about it makes me smile despite myself. Like, maybe I want to do shadow puppets with it.

Sadly, I don’t really want to masturbate it because it’s just too weak for me. Yea, we all saw that coming. Two tiny batteries, and it barely feels like it’s turned on. Oddly enough, mine came with one of the tester batteries. I’m sure people will freak out about the toys being used, but they all get tested before sent out. Oh well, free battery?

I wish it was stronger, though, because that duck face could actually work. I can sort of curve my finger over the top of the head toward the bill, which gives me leverage for a little pressure. The bill offers pinpoint stimulation, which isn’t my favorite, but the silicone is firm with a little give. However, this means that my palm is over the controls. I have a hard time with buttons because I have to use my fingers for pressure and I want the buttons to be accessible but not exactly where I’m going to hold the toy down– I’m talking to you, Lelo.

CEN has gone with the two-button style: a master power button and another button that cycles through all the settings. It’s annoying when there’s many settings, but the Luxe Euphoria has only seven:

  • low
  • medium
  • high
  • escalation
  • past pulsation
  • faster pulsing
  • short then fast pulsation

The batteries are woefully inadequate, and while there’s a red LED below the buttons, it seems like mine might be defective. It doesn’t shine under both, only sort of in the middle. If this is the design, it really doesn’t help to illuminate the buttons.

California Exotics has done something new with the battery cap, as far as I recall, and I hate it. Instead of being able to screw it off, you have one of those little covers with the springy part like your remote control. It’s on the “tail” of the duck and almost so flush that you can’t find it. I actually like that it’s so seamless, but it makes it difficult to find, and the springy part you need to push to open it. The cover pops straight up, and I have a hard time getting it back on. I think I’m using to things that angle into place. It’s just different, I suppose.

The seamlessness probably lends to the waterproofiness of this toy. There’s not a single O-ring. Rather, the entire battery connection part on the cap is surrounded by a layer or silicone or TPR. It seems pretty secure, to be honest. I wouldn’t use this toy in the shower — you wouldn’t feel it with the water — but it’s easy to clean.

I do love the texture of this. Both the silicone and plastic have a velvety treatment. While the plastic is rigid, it has the same texture as the silicone. This, I like. There’s a silver “collar” that’s made of plastic and runs around the duck’s neck. This is definitely the weak point of the design. Not only can I see seams, but I can see the glue. Eeps!

This toy isn’t something I’d pay $30 for, especially knowing what I need, but CEN has made some good strides with this, even if it’s the odd duck out.
CEN Sexpert

5 Comments

Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Posh Teaser 2

November 28th, 2012

Posh Silicone Teaser Blue

Posh Silicone Teaser Blue
$28.20 from Of Sex and Love Store

I wasn’t super enamored with any of the Posh line of toys from California Exotics. It’s good that they’re silicone, and the price isn’t too bad, but they all looked a little generic. I’d rather have a super strong rechargeable, I guess. So I was surprised when I received the Teaser 2 in blue and I like I’d underestimated it. It’s less tiny and, well, dinky. It feels more significant in my hand. This doesn’t mean that I’m going to throw out my Mona or anything because, well, it’ll never happen. Others are still better at what I need them to do, but I think CEN is making some toys that are definitely wallet-friendly, good for beginners and worth keeping around for as long as they’ll last. The Posh Teaser 2 might be one of those.

THe Posh Teaser has an interesting textured. It’s a series of bulbs along the 5″ shaft. There’s some wavy swirls that are interesting to my eyes but, as is usually the case, don’t add much for my vagina. Still, the head is the biggest bulb of all and adds some G-spot action. The silicone does have a lot of drag, though, and it’s prone to collect lint. You’ll want to use a nice dose of water-based lube, even though the that is 1.5″ wide at its most. Really, the majority of the shaft is about 1″ long, which makes this good for people who don’t like to feel like a subway train is trying to squeeze through their lady parts. You’re welcome for the visual.

Another thing I like about this toy is the LED ring that surrounds the button on the base. I will never see it in use, but it pulsates with the setting, and I feel like I’m ready for anything? You don’t need a flashlight, guys, I’ve got my sex toy. I’m not familiar with seizures, but if you’re photosensitive, you won’t want to look at the base of the toy. There’s some serious flashing going on. And it’s bright. B-r-i-g-h-t.

Except for the head, which has some give when squeeze it and can bend just a few degrees, the silicone covers a rigid inner mechanism. But it’s plush all around and doesn’t feel hard, just ungiving beneath.

I’m also not shatteringly-disappointed with the strength of the vibrations. It’s only powered by 2 AAAs, but they’re putting out some decent vibrations considering the power source. Sure, they’re buzzy, but the highest setting is okay, and the pulsations feel more effective. However, CEN did something stupid, here. They put the highest setting first, so when you press the button, you wind up turning it down. Um, that makes no sense. M I Rite? Right. So once you’re all buttered up and want to increase the settings, you’re disappointed to find out that’s all there is. It’s not the first time a vibrator has worked like this but it should be the last, god damn it.

There are seven different pulsation settings to this toy, which is more than enough. They’re fast, slow and everything in between. I’m not really won over by pulsing, though, so this might be more your thing than it is mine. The Posh Teaser 2 remembers your setting when you turn it off, which might be good if you like those settings. Otherwise, you’d have to cycle through them all again.

For the power output, this is a little loud. I don’t think the vibe should be any louder than it is on its weakest setting, which says something. It’s not a chainsaw, but it’s definitely not “whisper quiet.” Unless, maybe, you know those people who whisper yell.

I don’t use my toys in the shower and have no tub, but CEN calls it waterproof. The battery cap twists on normally — none of that half twist BS — and there’s an O-ring permanently attached. I wouldn’t submerge it in the ocean, but you can test its waterproofiness all you want. It’s nothing I’d worry about in the shower, though, and it makes cleaning with soap and water easy. Unfortunately, you’ll need to watch the lint off of this before you use it if you don’t keep it in a Ziploc bag.

I’m not going to default to the Posh Teaser 2 over any of my other toys, but I’d pass mine on to someone in need, and I’d absolutely recommend it to anyone in need of a cheaper, G-spot dildo. That’s quite the endorsement.

CEN Sexpert

 

10 Comments

Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Body and Soul Connection Vibrator

August 18th, 2012

Body & Soul Connection

Body & Soul Connection
from

This is an archived review of a discontinued item.

This vibe either looks like the eyeball guy from Aah! Real Monsters or a laser robot from the video game Portal. The latter is exactly why I requested to review it, even though another model in the line up looks slightly more turret-like. Unfortunately, all the reasons that would have caused me to pass up this sex toy are exactly the reasons I should have.

It took me less than thirty seconds to realize this, honestly. The vibrations, powered by 2AAA batteries are super buzzy. Although it’s easy enough to switch through them with the single button, there’s not much difference between any of the settings, except for the horrible whine that I could hear over music that I was listening to at the moment. This was common in Lelo’s old toys, but it bugs me whether a toy costs less than $50 or more than $100.

The vibrations are so buzzy that I wouldn’t be surprised if someone told me this was powered by watch batteries. In fact, my body simply stopped being able to feel the vibrations after a few seconds. I kid you not. While the rabbit-ear-like attachments are flexible and rounded in a way that surrounds the clitoris nicely, but the depth of the vibrations is simply too high-pitched to to anything. Honestly, I think I might have liked this a bit more, if the vibrations had been deeper. I’m not surprised that they weren’t. Some folks would suggest that this is “Great for newbies”, but I just can’t see how this vibe is all that good for anyone. Does a person exist who is really, honestly that sensitive?!

Still, while I don’t normally like fluttering rabbit ears, the arms on this guy are a little less flexible. They don’t flop back and forth, and they’re wider, so they really hug my clit in a way that could be effective. I usually like pressure, though, and this design really doesn’t offer that. However, I do like that the single push-button works well when you turn the toy around. There’s technically two ways you can hold this flat against your body/around your clit, and this lets you find the best position for the button.

Connection's annoying battery packThis toy is kind of like the less awesome version of the Form 2, which I already didn’t like and have recently swapped away. The plastic base is round, and this toy is bigger so it’s easier for me to hold. However, you have to twist the bottom directly off from the top to insert the (useless) batteries. The whole thing is awkward, and it uses that quarter-twist style that I always have trouble lining up. Plus, the batteries sit in there vertically, without much support. They fall out pretty easily. Obnoxious, dudes.

At least Jimmyjane got the quality down. The Connection has soft silicone up top and shiny plastic on the bottom, and it’s not seamless in the least. In fact, there’s a visible line between the two portions of the toy, and it looks like a gout line full of gunk. Upon closer inspection, it’s not filled with gunk–thank God!–it’s just that the cut of the plastic is super sloppy. This toy feels low-quality now matter how you cut it.

Given the vibrations and the poor quality, I’m surprised by the MSRP. Luckily, sellers on Amazon offer this for less than half. I don’t know if I’d even spend $25 on this, but that’s a smaller hit to your wallet, if you’re convinced this will work for you.

Am I surprised though? Eh, not really. I almost always need something that uses AAs. The shape here does have some redeeming qualities, but it can’t overshadow all the things that bother me about the Body & Soul Connection.

CEN Sexpert

7 Comments

Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Picobong Moka

June 9th, 2012

PicoBong Lelo

PicoBong Lelo
$59 from PicoBong

I could probably tell you to save some time by reading this review and send you over to Lilly’s, because we came to most of the same conclusions. This was my first Picobong toy, and I’ve declined to review them in the past because they seemed too weak for me. I generally prefer toys that have more power than AAA batteries have to offer, but I was also intrigued by the shape of the Moka. It’s similar to the Ella or Gigi, other toys by Lelo that people have really liked in the past. Since I hadn’t had a chance to try the shape, I figured the Moka would be a chance to do so.

In fact, this toy is retailing from $42 to $60, so it’s much cheaper than the Gigi. Although, the Ella still costs a pretty penny less, if you don’t need vibration. The Moka consist of a curving shaft and an intensely angled head that is larger than the shaft. The head is pretty “long”, I guess you’d call it, from the side. This toy definitely hooks onto your pubic bone. So, while it’s not very wide at any point. The widest point of the shaft is 1.5″, and I’d guess that’s the head itself. The curving shaft tapers to a narrow 1″ just below the head; although, the base is slightly thicker. All in all, it’s not amazingly large.

But my G-spot hated it. The shape is just not.for.me. I can almost guarantee it’s because of my protruding pubic bone, but I think I’d personally be better off with any straight vibe. I know that other people will like the shape, but I can’t. Ever. With that said, Lilly liked it because it was larger than the Gigi, so you might agree with her.

The vibrator is coated with a velvety silicone. It’s more smooth and rigid on the shaft, but there’s a tad bit more give on the head. It’s nice to hold. I got mine in the bright blue, and it’s super fun. Very Spring-like. As I mentioned, 2AAAs insert into the base. The cap has ridges, I assume to help you grip it. It’s not the type that unscrews, through. It simply does a slight turn to lock into place. I really hate this type of battery cover. It’s finicky to get into place and they don’t always click or make a sound to let you know. I’d rather screw the cap on a couple times. Aside from that, battery insertion was fine.

To control the Moka, you press the buttons on the bottom of the shaft. Now, technically, they’re where you might insert the vibe. Folks going for G-spot stimulation might not insert it more than a few inches, but the entire 6″ or so of the shaft is not technically insertable because of this, not if you want to change settings, anyway. Three buttons exist. One to increase strength, one to decrease and another to switch modes. The buttons are raised from the shaft, so they’re easy to find. They also make an audible clicking sound.

Moka’s vibrations are buzzy and make my hand tickle, but they’re stronger than I expected. There are eight levels of standard vibration and many pulsation and escalating modes. I couldn’t count them all. There were too many that were too similar, and it seems like I needed to sometimes push the mode button two or three times to get it to change, which is frustrating. My finger needs to push from exactly the right angle; otherwise, it stays on the same setting. That’s pretty frustrating, but it’s nothing like my Mimi.

On a few of the special modes, the motor did that horrible ‘digital whine’ that used to occur with all Lelo toys. This is incredibly disappointing. It’s a bit loud, in terms of buzzing, to begin with, but that sound is like nails on a chalkboard to me. If someone asks what sound makes me want to gouge my eyes out, I’d reply with “Lelo’s whiny motors.” It doesn’t bug everyone, but it might make your dog go insane.

Before I wrap this up, I must explain the confusion that is the keychain/cellphone decoration. There’s a loop on the end of the Moka, and the toy comes with a little PicoBong logo attached to a nylon cord that is looked through it. It’s like a cellphone decoration, if you had a cell phone when you were 13 (please don’t do this as an adult. It makes you look like a joke!), but it reminded me of a keychain. It felt like I should use it to hang my PicoBong from my keys or wallet or belt loop and carry it around on my person. It obviously has to go, because it would be annoying, at least, during use. I’ll probably throw it away.

So, Moka. It’s not for me, but I can see why someone else might like it, and it’s probably a better bargain than Gigi.

4 Comments

Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Tantric 10-Function Chakra Massager

May 3rd, 2012

Tantric Chakra Pink 10 Function

Tantric Chakra Pink 10 Function
from

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

There are those who say that a good bullet is something that everyone should have in their collection. I’m kind of a picky beast, but this one goes out to them. The new Tantric line of toys by California Exotics caught my eye. The pink and black is my kind of girly and there’s this element of filigree or something similar that’s really up my alley.

With this little bullet, which is larger than the ones by Tantus but more cylindrical than an egg, this design feature is on the handle. It looks like a solid layer of pink with black plastic wrapped around it. You can see through to the pink plastic through the open areas in the design, which are cut out. Now, if this was on the toy itself, I’d be a little wary of using it because of cleaning, but it’s not. Worked into the handle is a soft heart-shaped button. It’s actually kind of discreet, but you don’t need instructions to read it. This only adds to its feminine appeal.

The bullet itself is removable from the battery pack with that little jack. I’m not one to switch power sources and I do like the color theme, so this isn’t useful for me. It might be for you. This, paired with the battery cap, makes for a toy that’s not waterproof in the least. The cap screws off from the end of the pack but it’s the style that slides into place and only turns a little bit — like the Layaspot and a few other toys. I prefer a cap that fully screws on.

To its credit, the 2AAAs that power this pack a surprising punch; although, the vibrations are on the buzzy side. The pulsations were pretty impressive and there were multiple strengths of the same pulsation, which I liked. I’m not usually one for patterns but it worked with this bullet. Not all the patterns were as impressive to me.

The steady vibration left a little to be desired, though. It starts on the highest setting and goes down from there. Very few vibrations do that. I don’t want that. Consumers don’t want that. Although the highest setting is okay for a bullet, power queens are going to tired of it and want more, only to go “WTF?!”

After playing with this one for a while, my vulva felt all sorts of buzzy afterward. Although I did get off, it was mostly from a lot of boring into my pubic bone and less because of the bullet itself.

The bullet has a weird circumference seam around a quarter from one end. I can’t feel it in use, but it’s odd. While I do like the velvet cote in my hand, I also can’t feel it in use. The plastic does make clean-up a breeze but, like I said, be careful with the water.

Tantric 10-Function Chakra Massager doesn’t come with any accessories, but that’s not the end of the world. Just toss it in your nightstand or bag, and you needn’t even worry about lint.

11 Comments

Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Divine Inspiration Rotating Massager

June 8th, 2011

Divine Inspiration Rotating Massager
N/A from

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

So, I’m into new and unusual things and the Divine Inspiration Rotating Massager from California Exotics fits the bill pretty well. It’s a wand-style toy that rotates and vibrates, and it’s all decked out in pink and black. The specific model I received is straight-handled. The handle is about 1.5 the length of my fist so it’s not like the size of a Hitachi or anything. It’s fairly small. This small toy is powered by two AAA batteries that insert into the end of the handle after the pink cap screws off. There’s one of those ribbons to aid you in removing batteries–although I usually find them to get in the way–and a small O-ring around the battery compartment.

Toward the top of the handle, where it begins to narrow, is a silver band for no other reason than to look pretty. I have to admit, I am a fan of the rock and roll chic appeal but I prefer the other toys in the line ever-so-slightly. The head consists of a bright pink TPR that is squishy and velvety. There is a row of oblong bulges that encircle the top of the head. I guess the idea of texture is interesting but perhaps not as functional as Cal Exotics would have you think.

There is a single push button at the base of the rotating massager. One push starts the rotating, a second shifts direction and a third turns it off. Although there is supposed to be vibration in addition to rotation, I could only feel the motor straining inside the handle of the wand. The rotation itself is interesting. It sort of reminds me of the Sasi. It’s an interesting feeling that is somewhat akin to oral but, you know, not exactly. Of course, the problem with this function is that you cannot press the head of the massage against you without forcing the movement to stop. This may also be problematic for you if you’re fleshier. You’ll have to push your labia out of the way. It doesn’t lend itself well to pressure or intense stimulation. While I kind of like the idea, it’s just not enough to get me off.

In use, I really didn’t find the ability to switch direction was effective. Actually, it somewhat hurt to switch direction which makes very little sense. Regardless, a toy like the Sasi is more creative in terms of movement and overall, preferable. Another reason I prefer it is that I can turn off the movement of the ball, when I’m sufficiently aroused, and just use the vibration to get off.

You’ll definitely want to use lube to aid the rotation and keep things comfortable. The texture holds it well, perhaps too well. After I was done, I cringed as I had to scrub the lube out from the tiny crevices in the head of the Divine Inspiration Rotating Massager. I’d really like something a little less time-consuming when it comes to washing.

In fact, I’d have to say that, ultimately, this sex toy is more like an electric lube applicator than anything else.

CEN Sexpert

Comment

Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Image © MisterUnlucky; used with permission.