101 Vagina

March 24th, 2014

101 Vagina
$13.68 from Amazon

When I first received the pitch to review and give away this book,  I wasn’t quite sure what it was. Perhaps that’s because it’s such a simple concept that describing it takes away some of the.. “magic” of it.  I’m normally more pragmatic than that, but the description causes it to lose something special.

You see, 101 vagina is a book featuring 101 photos of vulvas and 101 pieces by the owners of those vulvas. The book is printed completely in black and white, and it has a sleek white hard cover to boot. See? You can sum up what it is so easily. But I’m not sure that you can sum up the significance of this book quite so easily.

You see, the women in those photos have different body types, skin colors, scars, body modifications and pubic hair styles. And those women all have different feelings about the reproductive organs. And some of them even have different understandings about their organs, which brings me to my first and only complaint about this book.

The photos are really of vulvas, not vaginas. In fact, the photographer Philip Werner does address this in the back of the book. I’m glad because the terminology did bother me. However, while the pictures are of the external body parts, he wanted to create a medium for discussing the vulva, the vagina, the physical and the spiritual, and the English language doesn’t really provide this.

However, many of the women who agreed to be photographed for this collection do use the Sanskrit term “Yoni,” which I’ve heard but haven’t used before. Accordingto Wikipedia:

Yoni (Sanskrit: योनि yoni) is a Sanskrit word with different meanings, most basically “vagina” or “womb”. Its counterpart is the lingam. It is also the divine passage, or sacred temple (cf. lila). The word can cover a range of extended meanings, including: place of birth, source, origin, spring, fountain, place of rest, repository, receptacle, seat, abode, home, lair, neststable.

The women who tend to use this word as they write about their vulva, vagina, uterus and more do tend to use more flowery descriptions. The first few photos had captions like these, and they weren’t my favorite. However, women wrote about their vaginas in many ways.

Some were reverent. Some were saddened. Some expressed anger. Some were clinical. Others wrote poetry. Some wrote so much that the text had to be shrunk down to fit the book’s intended format. Other were quizzical or awed. The feels were sometimes intense and sometimes indifferent. It was simply interesting to read them. In fact, I sat down with the book as soon as it arrived in the mail and had read more than half of it before I knew it!

A few of the women chose to write about the experience of being photographed nude. I thought this gave interesting insight into the project itself. It seems like the photographer made everyone comfortable and his desire to create a body positive book really worked out well.

I think that some people would chuckle or roll their eyes at the intent and the result, but I also believe that most people could benefit from reading  book like this. Cis-women could certainly feel a little more comfortable about their bodies and reproductive organs. Other people could appreciate the range of womanhood, both physically and mentally through the written word.

Here are a few of my favorite lines from 101 Vagina:

  • Eat Me!
  • Anything a man can do I can do wetter.
  • Ceci ce n’est pas un vagin.
  • Everyone thinks of themselves as existing on some part of their body — most people live behind their eyes, many imagine themselves between their lungs inside their chests, and still others have egos nestled into their solar plexus area, where their voice is born. I have always imagine that vital part of myself to be inextricably linked with my femininity, so I think that in a very real way, I am my vagina.
  • Didelphys. Google it.

Of course, there are many more than I enjoyed. There is one in particular that I cannot currently find, and some of them are too long to write up in full. and I wouldn’t want you to miss out by not reading them in their intended format.

If you’re at all looking for an interesting coffee table book or simply want to understand how women feel about themselves, 101 Vagina is certainly going to provide plenty to talk and think about.

 

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Pink Lips and Other Stories for Girls Only

February 12th, 2014

I’ve reviewed quite a few erotica anthologies in the past, but I’ve taken a break because I don’t always like them. The nice thing about anthologies is the idea that there are plenty of themes and styles to choose from. However, this isn’t really the case for Pink Lips and Other Stories for Girls Only, which might be why this isn’t the book for me.

My issue is that every story in this anthology is by the same author so they all have similar themes and word usages — and I just don’t like them.

Each story tends to go like this. A young/college-aged woman who is interested in other women and has little to no experience with them. She tends to have a sport appearance with a “tight” ass and breasts that are small-but-proportionate for her size.  Her partners tend to take control and every story seems to use the term “hot bitch.” I tried to give this book a fair shake, but it’s just too hard when I don’t like the way the author writes.

But there’s something else going on there. I can’t quite put my finger on it. Maybe it’s that it just seems not.. genuine. It’s like watching “lesbian” porn full of inch-long French manicures and scissoring. It’s not really about women who like women; it’s like a man who has never witness real, enjoyable sex between two women is writing erotica about lesbian encounters.

And I can’t say this is true, but this is the sense that I get. The author has been quoted as saying that these stories mix fantasy with some real experiences, but this just isn’t the gist I get. And if it is, perhaps the author should have used more fantasy elements because the anthology comes off a bit too Mary Sue.

Another issue I ran into was simply poor writing. Things like “she  was real wet.” It demonstrates a weak grasp on language, on poetry. If I am paying for something, this should not be a case. An editor somewhere should have caught this and sent it back for revision.

All of these things are so very.. distracting. This makes “Pink Lips” the type of read that I couldn’t finish let alone recommend or pick up again.

I feel bad writing this, but people on Twitter have assured me that I shouldn’t. After all, you open yourself up to criticism. Perhaps other people will like this book more, but it just isn’t my thing.

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The Adventurous Couple’s Guide to Sex Toys Review + Giveaway

October 16th, 2013

It’s interesting that I’ve read Violet Blue’s blog on and off for years without reading anything of hers in print (well, I did read books that she’s edited). Now, I can add that to my to-done list, which is my version of a bucket list — only I add things that I’ve already done. The Adventurous Couple’s Guide to Sex Toys is intended to be the book about sex toys, the Bible of sex toys. I’m not quite sure that I’d swear an oath on this book, but I’d probably recommend it to most people.

If you’re not familiar with the author, her work or her expertise in the field, the forward by Charlie Glickman talks about her experience working for Good Vibes. You can also check out her blog here. Charlie, who has asides through the book, co-wrote the Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure, which I really liked. Both the forward and the content of the book really dive right into the subject. It’s a no-nonsense approach that could maybe be a little more “inviting” by giving some stats about how many people enjoy sex toys of something of that nature. If you’re curious but not quite adventurous, you’ll get the gist that sex toys are fun, but this book might not be as reassuring as you’d like.

This doesn’t mean that the book isn’t useful, however. On the whole, the things I had problems with were very specific and probably only bothersome to me because I do know as much as I do about sex toys. The gen– doesn’t mention not to use silicone The Adventurous Couple’s Guide to Sex Toys was just fine. Most people would be just fine if they followed the advice that I have to nitpick, and many people wouldn’t even notice what seemed like errors to me. You want examples? Okay!

Cons

  • Violent mentions water-based lube as the most common (true) but only discussed silicone-based lube as an aside. I saw no mention of not using it with silicone toys.
  • In the first chapter, which contains information about cleaning toys, Violet recommends antibacterial soap but doesn’t mention that soaps containing triclosan must remain on an item for 2 minutes to be effective
  • She also says that no clear silicone exists. While translucent toys typically are made of jelly/rubber/PVC, Jollies dildo are somewhat translucent.
  • Although she mentions wooden dildos, there was no mention given to any of them or brands like NobEssence. Um, what?
  • While she mentions vaginal balls, I don’t recall a specific naming of any brand or recommends about safety; i.e. don’t use disgusting balls with string connectors. Eww.
  • There’s no mention of the Liberator Throe, which I haven’t reviewed on this blog but still remains one of the most coveted items in my collection.
  • Violet spends a bit of time on camming as part of cybersex. I guess I don’t personally find this to be toy-y in my mind. Anyway, she talks about how webcams basically suck and that you have to buy them, ignoring the fact that almost all computers are equipped with a cam, and many phones have front-facing cameras. She then goes on to give a very specific HTML code about refreshing your website when showing your streaming cam but doesn’t say how to do that in the first place. Given the lack of relevant and timeliness, this entire section is unnecessary.

I did find it curious that every.single.time Violet mentioned a website or brand that I was not familiar with, the website no longer existed. This was the case with Luv Seat and Clear Ecstasy. The latter is a glass dildo maker and while I can find items from the company on retailers, they’re unimpressive and not what she was talking about. Similarly, Violet mentions a programmable vibrator by Je Joue, which I believe to be the predecessor to Sasi, which the company no longer makes. A little fact-checking would have gone a long way. This is especially true when you consider that this is the second version, which means it should specifically correct those errors.

I didn’t hate the book, however. It’s just much better suited to someone who couldn’t have written it. In fact, I found that there was very little information that isn’t freely available online, some of it even on Of Sex and Love.

Pros

  • Violet includes a section about risks of spreading diseases and infections through sharing sex toys, anal/oral and penetrative sex in the very last chapter. This might be the most useful representation I’ve yet seen of
  • The book is neither homophobic nor heteronormative. With general references to partners, gay and straight people alike will find it suitable for them.
  • The information about sex machines was definitely more than I knew before picking up this book — er, the PDF version, that is.
  • The same goes for USB toys, some of which you can actually have a partner control from their own computer. I had no idea about this before.
  • The Adventurous Couple’s Guide to Sex Toys walks you through the basics of toys, bringing them up to partners and a bit of anatomy to
  • Of course, you can skip any chapter and go right where you need to be. Sol while I might bitch about something, I don’t need to read it.
  • At just shy of 150 pages and is an easy read, you can finish the full thing in less than 2 hours!

So, if that’s piqued your interest at all, you can buy the book on Amazon.

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Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure

June 21st, 2013

Now, I have no prostate. I don’t even have a partner with one. What I do have is an interest in reading. It’s why I read all about the Multi-Orgasmic Man a while back. It’s also why I read a shitty little book — pun intended — called Tickle My Tush. It was intended to be an entry-level book about anal play. It didn’t go very deep. Okay, I’m done with the analogies. Now, I really am. When I walked way from that book, I was disappointed. It only briefly touched on any single concept, and it used these “cutesy” terms that made it oh so difficult for me to take it seriously. Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure does not do these things. In short, it’s the book you want if want to explore anal play, if your partner does, or if you just want to know how it feels.

Doctor Charlie Glickman and co-author Aislinn Emirzian have set off on a journey to educate the masses, and I feel educated! The book doesn’t feel like a pamphlet that is better published online. It’s a complete 15 chapters that are chock full of information, and this guide to anal prostate pleasure is actually a pleasure to read. I found myself wanting to read the next chapter, so it didn’t take long for me to finish it at all.

Some of the chapters in Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure are:

  • Frequently Asked Questions
  • Hygiene
  • Penetration 101
  • Searching for the Magic Button
  • Bringing Up the Topic
  • Massaging the Perineum
  • Anal Sex and Strap-on Fucking
  • Real Men Don’t
  • Possible Benefits of Prostate Health

In the beginning, I found myself merely browsing the content. I didn’t need to read it word for word because I’m not a newbie to sex. I don’t need convincing that prostate play is good. There’s nothing wrong if you do, but you can’t review sex toys and hang around this corner of the blogosphere for this many years without picking up a thing or two. Still, I stopped to read the firsthand accounts from the men that Dr. Glickman had interviewed. Thanks to their responses, he was able to pretty accurately describe not only how prostate stimulation feels but how it differs from person to person. I think this is an important distinction to make because not everyone will experience it in the same way or even enjoy it. This might be especially important for men to read because it lets them know that they’re not alone. These asides were intellectually interesting to me, but that was all. One thing I noticed was how there were many in the beginning of the book but very few toward the end. That did make Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure seem a little unbalanced.

One of the things that I liked was how consistent the authors were about the fact that prostate stimulation varies on a case-by-case basis. It might make you cum, it may cause you to lose your erection for a while, it may not be the end-all and be-all the first time you try it. I especially liked the advice not to jump into toys the first couple times, and the authors are quick to point out that a person should experiment with his own prostate before introducing it to a partner.

Another thing that stood out is how trans friendly this book is. Dr Glickman takes time to discuss FTM individuals who still have a prostate that now acts something like a G-spot in a woman. In one chapter, he discusses talking to your doctor about prostate health issues, and he is gentle and supportive. If I were in that situation, I think I’d like to see Dr. Glickman. The same gentle support extends to the partners of people who are interested. Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure assures the reader that prostate play is normal and that there might be some undue side effects, but you walk away feeling like you can handle them.

As far as technique goes, this is where Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure was most helpful to me. There are chapters each on prostate massage, toys, the perineum and anal sex/strap-ons. My experience with prostate stimulation has been through the perineum, and the descriptions matched up quite well. In the toy section, the book discusses brands that are failiar to me like Nexus and Aneros. It also describes strap-ons, harnesses and harness-less strap-on dildos like the the Nexus and Feeldoe. The toy chapter even goes on to explain how urethral sounding can stimulate the prostate, which I didn’t know before. I guess you can teach an old dog new tricks.

If I wanted to explore internal prostate stimulation, I feel like I’ve not got enough information to locate it, try a few different methods and help my partner relax along the way. The book often suggests sliding along the prostate rather than poking into it, which I can appreciate because my G-spot prefers the same sensation.

Illustrations are scattered throughout the book where they’re helpful. I found them most beneficial in the chapters about toys and positions — where Glickman discusses using pillows or Liberator shapes to aid you. The illustrations have a hand-sketched appearance. They’re simple and easy to understand. For people who are less experienced, the good doctor and his co-author cannot recommend enough using lube and being in a state of arousal before you begin. Good advice for anyone.

A particular chapter that I found to be of note is “Real Men Don’t.” In it, the authors discuss some of the stigma around prostate play. In earlier chapters, they reassure the reader that strap-on sex is just your partner stimulating you so there’s no worry to fear that the act — or you — are gay. This chapter goes further to explain how society tends to lump a “real man” into a box and how this is harmful to people no matter where they fall on the gender spectrum. Men must do certain things to be considered real men, otherwise they’re too womanly, which is an insult to woman as well. Dr. Glickman explains why trying to fit into the box leads to emphasis on values over pleasure, and this just doesn’t cut it when it comes to prostate exploration. He recommends forgetting the box to enjoy it by yourself or with a partner.

If you’re still not convinced, the final two chapters suggest that prostate play can benefit prostate health and the common prostate conditions that exist. The book ends with several resource lists. You’ll find other books, places to buy toys and websites with additional information. However, I really don’t see what information you won’t be able to find in Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure.

While the title might indicate that Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure is for men, it would be a good resource for any man’s partner — gay or straight — trans-men or couples. If you only have one book about prostate play on your bookshelf, Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure should be it. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that it’s the best book on anal play of any sort that I read simply by being inclusive, realistic and easy to digest.

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Lust: Erotic Fantasies For Women

February 12th, 2012

I’ve had this book for a while, and I had a hard time finishing it, not only because it didn’t make stars but because having a broken heart makes me less horny. It’s odd, I know. So I started reading this book and it was difficult for me to get a feel for it. I mean, I liked the title and the cover image, but what exactly is erotica for women anyway? I think it’s kind of an arbitrary description of soft-core erotica, right?

It took me a while but I eventually realized that the theme here is fantasies had by women so most of the stories are essentially characters getting really worked up because their fantasies are finally coming true and I can appreciate that because I think far too much. Others, however, simply appear to be fantasies of the actual authors because there isn’t a solid mention of how the fantasy element plays into it.

Because the stories are all about fantasy, there is a lot of sex with strangers and in places where the character would not normally have sex. However, the novelty soon wears off — at least, it did for me. There were a couple of stories that did stand out, including one about sex with the IT guy and another that culminated in sex as a cemetery. Still, more stories were forgettable than not, for me. One in particular was oddly bad. It was written in an abrupt and halting way, which I suspect was done on purpose, but read in a very unsophisticated manner that didn’t do much for me.

Although this is billed as for women, there is a lot of sex. The focus here is definitely heterosexual; although, there are a couple group scenarios. A few of the stories involve light bondage but PIV and oral sex seem to be the most common sexual acts. All in all, Lust: Erotic Fantasies For Women just wasn’t different enough from the typical erotica anthology and, apparently, I like different.

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Tickle My Tush

January 20th, 2012

I’ve seen the books by Dr. Sadie before. They have cute names like “Ride ‘Em, Cowgirl” and “Tickle His Pickle.” Tickle My Tush is the latest book by Dr. Sadie, published by Tickle Kitty. It’s, as you can guess, all about anal play. What you might not guess is how small this book is! It’s just over 100 pages but the book is both short and narrow, so it’s physically smaller than other educational books. There’s also a lot of white space in the book itself, which is why I was able to read it in only two sittings.

The good news is, if you’re just starting out with anal play, then you won’t be intimidated by this book. Because I think this book is really best for those who are just exploring the territory and maybe even those who have tried but haven’t had a lot of success with it in the past, this isn’t a bad thing. I, personally, didn’t find this book to be eye-opening but I was able to compare it to my own experience and the experiences of those I know and can say the advice is pretty solid.

Dr Sadie splits the book up into chapters that begin by introducing anal play to the reader. In the first chapter, she explains why people enjoy it. The next address frequently asked questions, and the third talks about anal safety. One thing I enjoyed is that she is always stressing lubing it up and communication with your partner, whether you’re on the giving or receiving end. The chapters continue on, and Dr Sadie talks about hygiene then introduces the anatomy of the ass in both men and women.

In the sixth chapter, the action finally begins as Sadie instructs the reader about anal massage. Fingerplay and oral follow before a chapter on penetration. Experienced users can tune right in to read about orgasm through anal play and Dr Sadie devotes an entire chapter to anal toys — and she stresses the necessity for flared bases at least three times. The segues into strap-on anal play, which Sadie assumes is between men and women only. She does a great job explaining why a woman might want to don a dong but the entire book has a hetero/monogamous slant. It doesn’t make it less useful for people in general; however, it would be more useful and welcoming with different language. After all, wouldn’t a gay man or a lesbian want to learn the basics of anal play, too?

Tickle My Tush wraps up with an entire chapter dedicated to positions, with illustrations and a final FAQ that addresses questions readers may have after reading the book. As I mentioned, it’s a quick read because each chapter is only a few pages long. There’s also a lot of white space that accommodates for “Sadie Sez” asides. These blurbs highlight or stress things that Sadie wants the reader to remember. For example, slower is better or not to try to emulate porn, where warm-up is done off-screen. Mostly, the blurbs repeat content on the page, however. The line breaks between paragraphs are also quite white and on some pages there are warnings within a “Caution” sign, creating more empty space. The list goes on but, essentially, this book is even shorter than it looks and it looks short.

As I mentioned, the advice is pretty solid. I love how Sadie focuses on hygiene issues that allow you to feel more comfortable as does her general tone. However, her tone is extremely conversational, sometimes bordering on silly. There’s an entire page dedicated to the words and terms she is going to use instead of the actual clinical or official words for anatomy or activities. For example, it’s not “sphincter” but “O-rings” and she uses “pleasure inch” instead of “anal canal”. Dr Sadie reasons that some of these words sound unpleasant and, therefore, we should use friendlier terms, instead. I don’t necessarily mind “color” as slang for poop and terms like “rimming” and “licking” are readily accepted; however, if you can’t say “rectum” without giggling, maybe you shouldn’t be reading (or writing) this book.

There’s also a lot of conversational speaking to the reader and this sometimes feels as though they’re trying to make a book out of information that would only really fill a pamphlet. Similarly, the pictures feel a little amateur at times; however, they’re helpful in the positions chapter, and I find the position suggestions to be creative and useful. Sometimes the suggested positions come off as both unrealistic and uncomfortable. Dr Sadie also recommends which of these positions is better for persons of different heights and weights.

My last complaint is that Tickle My Tush doesn’t address material safety in terms of toys for anal sex. She says that no toy, finger, or cock should enter the mouth or vagina after anal play and also recommends ways to keep juices/lube from finding its way into the vagina. Still, the book could do more to address porosity and using either condoms or toy covers for anal play. I’d really like to see Dr Sadie talk about how only non-porous toys are actually safe between holes because jelly and the like can harbor bacteria even after it’s been washed with soap and water. Silicone, glass, and metal, at least, can be more thoroughly sterilized, but I wouldn’t even use a non-porous material without bleaching or boiling first.

Although Tickle My Tush isn’t without its flaws, its approachable and I think many people who are uncomfortable or only just warming up to the idea of anal sex will find it useful. It could perhaps be read by couples who are venturing into new territory together, but many experienced toy and anal players may want to skip this one.

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lingerie

Red Velvet and Absinthe

January 12th, 2012

After a while, erotica starts to look a lot alike. There are so many collections I have that.. I do not care anything about. There’s maybe three that really stand out and Red Velvet and Absinthe is one of those. I mean, the idea of paranormal erotica is pretty cool and I expected werewolves and vampires — which I got — but some of the more ghostly and unusual ideas were really memorable.

So, of course, werewolves and vampires are heavy in this book. The first few stories I read were only about werewolves. I wasn’t reading them in order so it almost seemed as though the editor has purposefully shied away from vampires because, you know, Twilight sucks.. There are also some vampire stories, including one with a lesbian slant. Ghosts make their appearance in this book and there’s one extremely interesting voodoo doll story. All in all, if you like the paranormal or are turned on by the unusual, I can’t recommend this enough.

My favorites include Dolly with the aforementioned voodoo doll, in which a young woman makes her doll and with it brings to life a person/creature and begins a sexual and romantic relationship that ends with an interestingly sweet twist. Anna Meadows paints a picture worth a thousand years in her story Painted about a young man’s fixation with a painting of an alluring woman. I could practically feel the walls shaking as I read through a thunderstorm scene. La Belle Morte is not a story with a happy ending for the protagonist, a young woman who is on death row, but the author somehow manages to cause the reader to forget the fact as the woman escapes into sexual fantasies with a strange visitor. An angel even makes an appearance in the very last story, Benediction.

There’s a few caveats, though, and I suspect these issues won’t be problematic for everyone. The focus here is on quality writing and story-telling rather than erotic happenings so if you’re the “want it now” type, you might find some of these to take too long to get to the good stuff or don’t spend enough time on it. I did skip a few longer stories because I usually prefer them short. With that said, I also went back to read stories that I’d skipped when I wasn’t trying to get off because I found the material to be interesting. People who don’t necessarily read erotica to get off will probably like the caliber of the writing in this book.

Secondly, Red Velvet and Absinthe focuses on romance. The sex is either between committed partners or implies commitment despite the paranormal circumstances in a til-death-do-us-part-and-sometimes-not-even-then sort of way. One night stands aren’t really part of the repertoire. Still, the romance is done in a dark and Gothic sort of way, with vampires turning their beloveds so that they can spend eternity together or one story which takes place in a prison cell. Danger is common-place as mere mortals dally with werewolves and other beastly creatures. It’s quite thrilling.

Really, that’s why I found myself both getting off and continuing to read just to see what happens next. That’s pretty high praise and I can say, without doubt, I’d love to reread the stories in this book.

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