Playing With Fire

August 26th, 2011

I don’t like to gush. For some reason, I feel like it takes away from my credibility as a reviewer but it’s hard not to, and I literally did gush, when reading Playing With Fire. This anthology is, without any doubt, my favorite erotica collection thus far. Usually, I open a book and like one story or two; I find myself paging through numerous others or becoming distracted as I wonder “When does this story end?” or “What’s the point again?”

Playing With Fire is not actually full of books about fire play; although, there is fire. Alison Tyler has picked stories that deal with fire and heat, whether literally or metaphorically, to include in this collection. Sometimes the connection is strenuous, sometimes it’s simply one line in the story and other times the title is fire/heat-related, but that’s the general theme. There’s a lot of “what we’re doing is so hot” and “this is so hot that I cannot wait.” In fact, the not being able to wait is almost as much as a theme as heat.

The result is stories that vary in length and style–although, none are longer than a few pages–as well as content and delivery but most of them are to the point. The reader doesn’t have to wait long for the sexuality to happen and the authors are explicit in their depictions. I read this in only three or four sittings. I found it extremely difficult to put down Playing With Fire and I was disheartened the last time I picked it up because I had so few stories left.

My favorites include “Carrying a Torch,” in which the female protagonist is turned on by her boyfriend’s other lover after accidentally seeing them have sex. Sophia Valenti writes her character’s fantasies to life fantastically. Secondly, Teresa Noelle Roberts absolutely hit it out of the park with her scorcher “One Hundred Degrees in the Shade.” A New Yorker couple escape to a cabin in the summer’s heat and everything comes to a boil with a hot sex scene as a storm rages in the background. I loved it especially because I feel the electricity myself when it’s storming around me.

However, this is not the perfect book. For some reason, there are quite a few stories to which cheating is a theme. This makes me a little uncomfortable. I understand why it can be hot for some but I’ve been too close to that setting in real life to appreciate it in literature. While I enjoyed most of the stories, there are a few that I just particularly didn’t. The most disappointing is “Burned” by Michael Hemmingson. In this story, a young woman is writing a novel and the story moves back and forth between what’s happening in the novel and for the author. There’s some strange fourth-wall-breaking narration and the sex isn’t particularly sexy. It’s an interesting story but makes for bad erotica.

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Gotta Have It

August 10th, 2011

There’s nothing like a long book that you don’t really like. I guess I could sum up my experience with “Gotta Have It” in those words and leave it but I’ll try to explain exactly why this book didn’t catch my fancy. I mean, there’s a cat on the cover so that should count for something, right?

Gotta Have It” promises to offer 69 stories of sudden sex and while the sex may be sudden, it’s not all sudden fiction. That is, some of them are just a little longer than I like and we all know how I don’t like erotica that lasts longer than I do. And, honestly, I think the sheer number of stories is not working in this book’s favor. It appears bulky, especially because it’s shorter and squatter than any other erotica book I own. It’s ten times as big as Five Minute Erotica! Maybe I wouldn’t have noticed so much if I weren’t reviewing it but I felt the deadline pressing against me and was just trying to finish all the stories, one by one, and they kept blending together. By the time I finished the book, I couldn’t remember anything about the first stories–there was just too much data to try to recall in one place. This would have been much better off as two volumes.

But it’s more than that because I found myself paging through and passing by more stories than I read. A lot of them just didn’t pull me in from the start and I couldn’t get into them by continuing on. I don’t like to waste my time so I skipped ahead. The problem is that the focus of these stories appears to be the writing rather than the sex or sexuality. They’re all spectacularly written and interesting as literature but not as erotica. It’s almost as though the sex is an afterthought in some of them.

There are well-written stories with a wide variety of subjects. The themes in this book include golden showers, sex with strangers, voyeurism, phone sex, gender play, online dating and Godzilla. Yes, Godzilla. In fact, Salome Wilde’s “Too Wondrous To Measure” is a fantastic tale about the giant reptile that I remember simply because it was weird. Call me old-fashioned but I just don’t get turned on by the guy. There are a mixture of gay, lesbian, bisexual and straight couplings but there’s a lot of monogamous sex that I just didn’t find particularly thrilling in “Gotta Have It.”

One of my favorite stories actually details the make-up sex of a married couple. Daniel Burnell’s “Ties That Bind” was interesting when I first read it. Yet, it’s not something that is so interesting or different that I remember it once the book leaves my hands. The same can be said for “Lucky Number Fifty-One” which follows a man who gets the chance to have sex with his favorite porn star and is able to impress her.

At the end of the day (or page or book), “Gotta Have It” Is simply not the best erotica collection I’ve read. It’s better than, say, X, because I like stories short but I have four or so anthologies on my nightstand that I found to be much more interesting. I don’t know if it’s the sole reason but I seem to really enjoy collections that Alison Tyler have edited and this one was edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel. I’d recommend Five Minute Erotica if you want a short and sexy story. Some of those have left some pretty vivid memories in my mind.

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Ultimate Erotic Massage

April 8th, 2011

I enjoy getting massages and I guess I’m okay at giving them but it’s one of those activities that I always wanted to learn more about. Enter the book Ultimate Erotic Massage and, truthfully, this book was a real eye opener for me. Sure, it has the sort of hokey, new-age feel that sometimes annoys me (and others) but I think I had to move away from the mechanics of massage and learn how to intuit the practice to better understand that–and Ultimate Erotic Massage absolutely helped in that pursuit.

Ultimate Erotic Massage is a soft cover book of nearly 200 pages by Kavida Rei. After an introduction to erotic massage and its benefits, it is split into three main sections: sensual massage, intimate massage and erotic extras. There’s also a brief section, in the beginning, that is dedicated to the basics of massage, including supplies, setting the mood, negotiating the scene, connecting with your partner as well as basic techniques. It’s here that Rei introduces the idea of using body parts other than hands–such as hands or your mouth–as part of your massage technique.

A short description of each section:

Sensual message discusses how each sense plays into massage and gives suggestions for helping either sex become sensually aware. The next chapter in this section breaks down sensual massage techniques by area of the body with extra information on stimulating a woman’s breasts and, again, using your mouth to please your partner. This section wraps up with some interesting information about soapy and/or wet massages that are somewhat based on Thai techniques.

Intimate massage delves into genital massage and Rei breaks down techniques for each gender and includes an entire chapter on oral massage. Kavida stresses that we should take the time to enjoy giving and receiving erotic intimate massage on its own–without necessarily leading to orgasm or sex. I particularly enjoyed the inclusion of a chapter about self massage. Rei’s advice helps the reader connect with herself, even when no partner is available.

All of these sections include small blocks of text on large backgrounds of individuals or couples. Like the cover, these images are pretty sensual in nature, if not necessarily explicit, and make this book pretty conspicuous. Most, if not all, of the couplings are heterosexual and while there author never explicitly states so, the book itself has a rather hetero-normative flair and it wouldn’t hurt if it were a bit more inclusive for homosexual or transsexual folks. All the chapters also include a variety of inserts: pictures, lists, activities and technique so it’s varied, easy read. Despite that, it did take me a while to get through this book. I just couldn’t get into it–through no fault of the book

Erotic extras finally segues into orgasm through erotic massage. It is in this section that the author begins to suggest that massage may lead to orgasm and introduces us to arousal, seduction 65yt6and, finally, orgasm. Unfortunately, in the sensual massage portion of this guide, I almost found the tone to suggest that something is wrong with achieving orgasm through these techniques. Obviously, it may not be the point but I’m not entirely sure why it should be entirely avoided, either. It could be just how I read it but I was glad to see the middle chapters discuss the possibility at all.

The final chapters discusses massage as an element of fantasy, roleplay and BDSM before Rei finishes the book with some information about Tantric massage. Like other sex/massage guides, there are a couple pages dedicated to resources and retailers to guide you on your journey to the ultimate erotic massage and a useful index at the very end. Interesting, there is no information about the other. You might be interested to know that her personal website describes her as a “Tantric Goddess.” I usually like to know how someone is qualified to be writing such material.

After finishing this book, I definitely felt as though my arsenal of massage information had bulked up, in addition to having a greater understanding of the art itself. Ultimate Erotic Massage laid it out in a very easy to digest format and, although I read this book cover to cover, you could easily pick a place where you want to focus. I can see myself referring to it in the future and that it something I rarely say about guide books that I have had the pleasure of reading.

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God and Sex

October 27th, 2010

God and Sex

God and Sex
$16.49 from Amazon

So, this is a bit of a different turn for of Sex and Love. I pretty much screamed “yes” when I was contacted to review God and Sex, a book that details What the Bible Really Says About Sex. It’s right up my alley.

Michael Coogan, the director of publications for the Harvard Semitic Museum and a professor of religious studies at Stonehill college, has taken the time to decipher and discuss what the Bible has to say about sex in regards to women’s rights, virginity, marriage, rape, homosexuality and more. In this book, Coogan translates Biblical text and analyzes what it meant to world at the time and how it applies–if it applies–today. Coogan does not have a religious or secular slant. After reading God and Sex, I could see him as an educated Christian or an educated atheist. It’s a toss up, really. I say this to inform those who view the Bible as a religious text that they may still enjoy this.

Unless they pick and choose scriptures and passages to further their agenda without taking time to familiarize themselves with the Bible. Coogan does, however. It becomes clear, by the end of this book, that the Bible says a lot of things, directly and indirectly, and the contradictions are rampant enough that it’s pretty ridiculous for anyone to base an argument on the Bible. Period.

The chapters in God and Sex discuss women, marriage and divorce, forbidden relationships, rape and prostitution and God’s wives. Intellectually, I enjoyed the last chapter immensely. Coogan gives some examples that show God may, indeed, be a sexual being and one who had a wife or wives.

Of particular importance in today’s society, is the chapter on forbidden relationships. Coogan delves into the Bible and relates what it says about homosexuality. Coogan’s conclusion is that, yes, the Bible generally opposed homosexuality but also that some of the Bible’s writers mention it in passing, as though it is a normal and acceptable thing. He argues that, no matter what the Bible says, it needs to be recognized as a book that was not created in our time.

Feminists and even some misogynists will bristle while reading the first chapter. The (mis)treatment of women as property and the concept of virginity as a relic of this institution is nothing short of horrifying. Later in the book, Coogan discusses how men were expected to be good hosts, even going so far as to provide their wives for guests to rape, rather than being impolite. It is horrific, to say the least. Even though Coogan discusses how patriarchal Biblical society was, he also makes a comment that indicates he doesn’t realize how far we’ve to come.

It’s interesting, too. In the chapter on marriage and divorce, the reader becomes familiar with Christ’s view of divorce (unfavourable) may be in direct opposition to the word of God, himself (who divorced Israel).

Michael Coogan wraps up his book with a reminder that we need to keep perspective when in the Bible. It may be a good rule of thumb for some things but there are certainly fine details that are nonsensical, unethical or even dangerous to follow in these modern times–and that’s even if the Bible can be accurately translated.

For example, some folks will be surprised to hear that the Bible has very little to say on the fact of abortion. This fact is not lost on Coogan who muses about how the passages people (sometimes incorrectly) quote usually mention abortion in passing on the way to a greater lesson.

Readers be warned that the content is only 200 pages long. There are 26 pages of notes, along with a bibliography and credits. Coogan translated the Bible himself and references the passages and translations in every chapter. The notes make it easy to follow his train of thought and double check his work, if you’re so inclined. This makes God and Sex incredibly well researched but possibly controversial because Coogan relies on a specific version of the Bible and does not rely on popular or “friendly” translations of the book. Basically, it’s not the book for you if you prefer your religious lessons spoon-fed.

So, if you haven’t guessed it, God and Sex is a real eye-opener in its honesty and unique take on sex in the Bible and what that means to people as modern Christians. It’s an interesting read but one that took me a little longer than usual simply because some of the chapters are a bit long. I would have enjoyed it more were I less concerned with finishing in time to review but that’s pretty much a given for books with me.

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Multi-Orgasmic Man

September 26th, 2010

It took me forever to read this book and it was no fault of the book. You see, I requested to review it because I thought it would be interesting. IT is interesting but I tend to visualize the man in this book as the one who is currently breaking my heart so that kinda sucks. Let’s get on with it, shall we?

Before I read The Multi-Orgasmic Man, I didn’t have a ton of knowledge about how a man could have multiple orgasms. I knew of one technique and had discussed it but not tried it. This book discusses a handful of techniques besides that one and some are purely physical while many focus on the idea of sexual energy (chI). Some of the reviews on Babeland have talked about this as being a bit new age-y. It kind of is but it’s no where near as annoying as the touchy, feely crap that I couldn’t stand in Female Ejaculation & The G-spot. In fact, I think the authors do a great job of looking at the Taoist basis for these beliefs in a scientific manner.

The chapters flow quite well. The first introduces us to the concept of sexual energy in Taoism and multiple orgasms by suspending ejaculation. This is followed by a chapter that gives a run down of the male body and sexual energy. This chapter includes information about becoming aware of the stages of arousal which is quite important in achieving multiple orgasms.

Chapter 4 is quite long and describes methods to achieve multiple orgasms, including tugging on the scrotal sac, control the flow of sexual energy and pressing on a point that the authors, Mantak Chi and Douglas Abrams, describe as the “million dollar point.”

Part of the focus of The Multi-Orgasmic Man is how a many who achieves this can also be a better lover so the next chapter introduces the (female) partner’s body, arousal and orgasm. Becoming a Multi-Orgasmic Couple puts it all together and talks about the advanced techniques of pleasuring and “screwing” that can increase pleasure for the woman. There are suggestions for exercises to increase intimacy and I found it particularly useful that the authors discusses how female partners could use some of the chi-based techniques to essentially harmonize male and female energies. Specifically, there is some discussion about how the person on top is not necessarily the one in control but he or she is the one giving the most energy to the other person. The chapter ends with a few words about safer sex.

Chapter six is intended for women whose partners are attempting to learn to become multiply orgasmic. It’s intended to be read alone and repeats information in the previous chapters but that is to be expected. I found it interesting that the chapter suggests PC muscle exercises with an egg or stone. This book is over 10 years old now and an updated versions might suggest a more hygienic kegel exerciser from a toy manufacturer. I personally do not love the idea of tying dental floss to something I might stick in my vagina (if only because it can be painful to pull it out; this is why I hate the string on the Luna Beads).

Homosexual couples will find a chapter that speaks entirely to them as well. It’s shorter than the one for heterosexual couples, mostly because the techniques apply to both men in the relationship anyway. The authors take the time to discuss the Taoist view of homosexuality, which I found interesting (they’re all for it, yay!).

The book winds down with a chapter about sexual health entitled Before You Call the Plumber. There’s a few words about premature ejaculation, impotence, sperm count and even sex as a healing power. The last chapter is probably my favourite as is discusses sex it he course of one’s lifetime. Chia and Abrams talk about sex and aging, keeping love alive and “the seasons of our lifetime.” There are some sweet words about monogamy that I find touching but not preachy. The book goes on to describe how a father can use this book to pass healthy Taoist beliefs on to his son.

The Multi-Orgasmic Man wraps up with a page and a half about Taoism and sexuality in general. There are recommendations for other books by Chia. I have to say that this section really seems a bit haphazardly thrown in. I might have preferred this to be an afterward, instead of tacked onto the last chapter.

Because the book includes many foot notes, there is a “Notes” section at the end of the book. It goes a long way to defend the scientific and cultural beliefs that the authors have expressed. If you’re using the book as reference, there is also a list of exercises so you can quickly find one or another. The very last pages are dedicated to an appendix and bibliography, per usual.

Overall, the tone of this book was a bit conversational. It wasn’t intimidating or condescending. While based on Taoist beliefs, The Multi-Orgasmi Man wasn’t laden with them in a way that made it annoying or dubious. I wouldn’t be surprised if open minded folks did more research on the subject of Tao after reading this book, however; but if it’s not your thing, you can easily just rely on the solid facts about anatomy to learn to be multiply orgasmic.

Like all sex books, there was a lot of related-but-not-quite-on-topic material but I appreciated it. Unlike any other non-fiction sex book I have read, the organization didn’t piss me off. I always find myself wondering who came up with the chapters but The Multi-Orgasmic Man did not have that problem.

Nevertheless, I was disappointed in the physical quality of this book. I have several soft cover books of a similar size on my desk as well and it is obvious that The Multi-Orgasmic Man uses thinner paper for the covers and the pages. It almost feels like it’s not a book at all; more like a pamphlet (a very long one!) or something.

I wish I could say more about this book. I think it’s a good one. It’s totally useful. I just don’t have an actual use for it. I’d recommend it, if you wanted to sate your intellect anyway.

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Best Lesbian Erotica 2010

July 30th, 2010

It took me forever to finish Best Lesbian Erotica 2010. I am now 100% positive that I can never be 100% satisfied with lesbian erotica. Or full length erotica, at that. I wish it hadn’t taken two full anthologies to realize that, however.

I would describe this collection much the same way I described last year’s. There’s lesbian sex. Group sex. Oral, anal, penetration. Gender bending. Roleplaying. Fantasies. BDSM and more. Many of the stories included omitted relationships, or at least that is what I assumed from the way they were written. There were some no-strings-attached encounters and one story even included a first-time lesbian experience as in “In the Sauna” by Stella Watts Kelley. For the most part, the characters have established their gender and sexual identities. As a mostly straight chick who doesn’t not-identify with her anatomy, it can be a little difficult to empathize with the characters or situations. I think that detracts from my enjoyment a bit.

It would definitely balance the collection to have a few more first-timer or novice type stories. I could better related to those and that would allow me to get lost in the story. As it is, I really had to force myself to finish this book, especially because some of the pieces were ridiculously long and included multiple parts. I was discussing this book with someone else and it struck me that others may not read erotica to get off but I do. Thus, the erotica that I find most effective keeps moving, has more overt sex than covert and isn’t so long that it works against my orgasm. Shorter stories also work better to get me in the mood sooner.

Although I’ve started this fairly negatively, it’s not a horrible collection. The stories are unique, well written and well edited. There’s a lot of creativity. I personally had not heard of any of the authors but, like any anthology, you can find additional information about them at the back of the book.

There were a couple memorable stories. Holly Farris wrote a piece entitled “Lives of the Saints” in which two amorous saints visit a woman who experiences doubts about her relationship. Additionally, I was entertained by Kelsy Chauvin’s “Sexting: One Side of a Two-Way.” In this story, we see a number of sexual texts from one woman to another with whom she had an encounter. The time line stretches over a two week period, during which the women chat back and forth and have several more encounters. The format is extremely unique and easy to read. I also especially enjoyed “Shameless” by Kimberly Reed and Anais Morten. This two part pieces follows a lesbian couple as they perform in front of a pair of strangers who are men. Each character gets the chance to tell her side of the story as she performs for her lover.

Some stories were simply not my style because they weren’t direct enough or were perhaps too creative for me. I have no idea what actually happened in “Uppercasing” by Charlie Anders. I guess I need my sex and erotica to be a little more straight forward.

Some folks might think that this series may be suffering from a new editor or the fact that a bunch of musicians (Sorry, I’ve never heard of BETTY) chose the stories. Maybe it’s related but I didn’t love last year’s edition, either. I know that erotica is really subjective. You win some, you lose some sort of thing but I also know that really intriguing erotica stays with me permanently. I can name a handful of stories from other collections that have really stuck with me over the past year to eighteen months. I just don’t think this will cut it.

I’m still interested in erotica but I am definitely going to focus on unique situational erotica and shorter stories from this point on.

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Best Women’s Erotica 2009

April 18th, 2010

Okay, so I may be a year late but I am no hardcore erotica collector. I mean, I’ve enjoyed a story here and there but I usually opp for a toy over a book. Still, it’s nice to switch things up a bit and that’s exactly what I did when I requested Best Women’s Erotica 2009 to review. Not only does it not vibrate, but it’s in a different series than any I’ve read before. ‘

This volume has a hot cover. It’s not entirely explicit but it just draws me in. A dark haired, fair skinned woman lies on the floor in the corner with a fishnetted leg against either wall. At first glance, she appeared to be wearing ballet slippers but they are, in fact, heels. The deep red of the wall is just a sensual colour.

The first few pages contain an introduction by editor Violet Blue. Even her introduction to the content of this book is a somewhat erotic story about mythological Persephone. This leads to an absolutely enthralling depiction of Peter Pan’s Tigerlily and her sexual frustrations. Although I do not particularly remember Tigerlily, Valerie Alexander does a stand up job of bringing a sexualized version of Never Neverland to life in “Fly.” It gets you excited for what the rest of the collection will have.

And then Best Women’s Erotica 2009 falls flat on its face, having done the exact opposite of “saving the best for last.” No, it gives it to you first and every other story pales in comparison. Sure, there are lots of themes: straight, gay and in between, BDSM, toys, anal sex, voyeurism, sex in public, roleplaying and more. And, in general, the writing is superb and the editing slick. Although, there is on story in particular which I won’t name, that seems so sub-pay I can’t believe it actually made it into the book. There are authors whom I’ve read and enjoyed before. It’s safe to say that many have been previously published, this isn’t their first rodeo.

Yet, the entire volume is almost completely lackluster. Where it gets my attention at all, I find the stories to be too drawn out. Some of the pieces seemed to just go on forever and not even in the name of build up; there were pieces which simply didn’t know where to end. I know that erotica is subjective but there are usually 2 or 3 pieces which I really like in any given collection and a handful more I will enjoy upon rereading but may not necessarily remember. Most of the stories in this book, however, I forgot by the next time I picked up the book with only a day or so in between!

I suspect that maybe I shouldn’t be reading “Women’s” erotica. Maybe I need something more direct, less sensual, shorter. Perhaps I am not the right audience. Maybe I want to read less about love and sweet encounters (not that there isn’t more to be found in this volume). I concede and accept that. I’m still sort of shocked I didn’t enjoy myself more.

In fact, as I try to recall just what it is that I liked about other stories I’ve read, it strikes me that Best Women’s Erotic 09 is deeply rooted in reality – save for the Peter Pan story. There’s no tentacle sex, bestiality or other fantasy. Essentially, there is nothing really different or unique. In fact, some of the stories are more than a little cliche like the one about a woman having sex with her dance instructor. I just need something more out of the box.

Maybe if you prefer in the box, reality-rooted erotica with more sensuality than you might normally have, you’d enjoy Best Women’s Erotic ’09. I don’t know.

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