Crazy Girl Mist

June 21st, 2011

Crazy Girl Mist Plumeria

Crazy Girl Mist Plumeria
N/A from

This is an archived review of a discontinued product. 

For whatever reason, I’ve really been into the scented products lately. I suppose this is how I went from no sprays to six bottles in just a few months, eh? I wasn’t sure if I would love the Crazy Girl Mist with pheremones but I thought I’d give it a try. Crazy Girl is a line up of body sprays, lotions and shaving products from Classic Erotica. I opted for Plumeria because I generally like floral scents but perhaps I would have enjoyed Seduction–a mix of fruity and floral–better.

The initial spritz of this product smells very generic, a bit heavy and, well, old. I like my health and beauty products to smell young and fresh. There’s something in this heavy floral scent that just comes off as dated. Initially, there is a lot of perfume, as if to overwhelm the nose. I’m a fan of more sophisticated scents, generally. Although, after a few moments, it settles and becomes more pleasant (less unpleasant?), the product is still very forgettable. I wouldn’t remember this body spray from any other brand that makes plumeria scented products or even from most general floral products.

Of course, if I did love it, then I would want the scent to be long-lasting. Unfortunately, that’s not the case here. Even a generous four or five sprays isn’t going to last you more than a couple hours. I guess it’s a good thing that the body mist comes in a large eight ounce spray bottle. I’ve already used quite a bit and just for testing purposes. I was hoping it would grow on me but it really hasn’t.

The reason this product is sold by sex toy retailers is the supposed inclusion of pheremones. Now, I don’t really buy into the pheremone aspect too much; I think it’s mostly the power of suggestion and I’m not going to feel a whole lot sexier when I’m using a product that doesn’t necessarily smell good to me. I can’t say that anyone took particular interest in me because of Crazy Girl Mist–nor did anyone even compliment the fragrance. I have to say that the “sexy alert” on the back of the bottle is not only overstated but it’s ridiculously tacky, too.

I also must comment that the complete lack of ingredients to be interesting. I wonder if alcohol may be one of the components of this spray but the bottle doesn’t want me to know. The official website doesn’t list anything either so I guess I’m just SOL. The bottle does advertise that you can even use it upside down but.. who does that? Why is that even an advertising point? I guess I could say that it sprays well enough right-side-up and the cap is nice.

Oddly enough, Classic Erotica also made the ginger+pomegranate massage candle and the Silky Sheets spray that I didn’t like. I think, from here on out, I’ll be staying away from any of their scented products if I have not already had a chance to smell them. Really, that’s my advice to you. Unless you’re a die-hard fan of the passion flower/plumeria scent or you have the world’s least pickiest nose, I’d stay away, too.

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Categories: Reviews, Sexual Health and Beauty

Cake Lip Plumper

May 9th, 2011

Cake Lip Plumper Angel Food

Cake Lip Plumper Angel Food

This product has been discontinued since I originally reviewed it.

I don’t know about you but I own a lot of lip glosses. I don’t know why exactly. I just love when my lips are shiny and shimmery and smell good, even if I’m not being kissed. I expected that I’d love the Cake lip plumper because I also love sweets.

This plumper comes in a .20 fl ounce tube with the typical lip gloss applicator. The tube is a little smaller than most of them I own but that’s not a bad thing necessarily. The design is super cute: black and liht teal with red accents. The tube and box feature a pin-up style woman and even the font alludes to a previous time.

The product makes a couple claims. 1) It tingles. This is pretty accurate. You can definitely feel the plumper at work after you apply it. If you’ve used other lip plumping products, then you’ll be familiar with the feeling. It can get a little uncomfortable so you may want to be pretty sparse with our applications at first.

Secondly, the product is scented. I received the Angel Food Cake scent; however, there are other cake scents available. My biggest complaint with the product is that it does not smell like angel food cake. There’s a distinct mocha sort of scent and, as I’m not a fan of coffee, this is both confusing and a turn-off.

At least it’s not as terrible as the rancid-smelling body butters in this line.

Lastly, the Cake Lip Plumper is supposed to taste like cake. Let me tell you this: the cake is a lie. It is not flavoured. It tastes like wax, which is typical of many lip products. Thus, you won’t want to run around licking your lips the way you would when wearing VS lip gloss. Just sayin’. Nevertheless, this lip gloss is far less sticky than any I’ve tried by VS, which I do like.

Appearance wise, the Cake gloss adds shine but no color. As for the plumping abilities, I can’t say that I noticed much of a difference and this obviously isn’t intended to have permanent effects.

I’d still be satisfied with this product if I enjoyed the scent and I suspect that I probably would enjoy some of the other scents (cookie dough, devils food), if they’re actually what you would expect. The Lip Plumper is decent as a lip product, with vitamins E and C. I just wish the angel food scent was accurate.

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Categories: Reviews, Sexual Health and Beauty

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Ultimate Erotic Massage

April 8th, 2011

Ultimate Erotic Massage

Ultimate Erotic Massage
$9.48 from Amazon

I enjoy getting massages and I guess I’m okay at giving them but it’s one of those activities that I always wanted to learn more about. Enter the book Ultimate Erotic Massage and, truthfully, this book was a real eye opener for me. Sure, it has the sort of hokey, new-age feel that sometimes annoys me (and others) but I think I had to move away from the mechanics of massage and learn how to intuit the practice to better understand that–and Ultimate Erotic Massage absolutely helped in that pursuit.

Ultimate Erotic Massage is a soft cover book of nearly 200 pages by Kavida Rei. After an introduction to erotic massage and its benefits, it is split into three main sections: sensual massage, intimate massage and erotic extras. There’s also a brief section, in the beginning, that is dedicated to the basics of massage, including supplies, setting the mood, negotiating the scene, connecting with your partner as well as basic techniques. It’s here that Rei introduces the idea of using body parts other than hands–such as hands or your mouth–as part of your massage technique.

A short description of each section:

Sensual message discusses how each sense plays into massage and gives suggestions for helping either sex become sensually aware. The next chapter in this section breaks down sensual massage techniques by area of the body with extra information on stimulating a woman’s breasts and, again, using your mouth to please your partner. This section wraps up with some interesting information about soapy and/or wet massages that are somewhat based on Thai techniques.

Intimate massage delves into genital massage and Rei breaks down techniques for each gender and includes an entire chapter on oral massage. Kavida stresses that we should take the time to enjoy giving and receiving erotic intimate massage on its own–without necessarily leading to orgasm or sex. I particularly enjoyed the inclusion of a chapter about self massage. Rei’s advice helps the reader connect with herself, even when no partner is available.

All of these sections include small blocks of text on large backgrounds of individuals or couples. Like the cover, these images are pretty sensual in nature, if not necessarily explicit, and make this book pretty conspicuous. Most, if not all, of the couplings are heterosexual and while there author never explicitly states so, the book itself has a rather hetero-normative flair and it wouldn’t hurt if it were a bit more inclusive for homosexual or transsexual folks. All the chapters also include a variety of inserts: pictures, lists, activities and technique so it’s varied, easy read. Despite that, it did take me a while to get through this book. I just couldn’t get into it–through no fault of the book

Erotic extras finally segues into orgasm through erotic massage. It is in this section that the author begins to suggest that massage may lead to orgasm and introduces us to arousal, seduction 65yt6and, finally, orgasm. Unfortunately, in the sensual massage portion of this guide, I almost found the tone to suggest that something is wrong with achieving orgasm through these techniques. Obviously, it may not be the point but I’m not entirely sure why it should be entirely avoided, either. It could be just how I read it but I was glad to see the middle chapters discuss the possibility at all.

The final chapters discusses massage as an element of fantasy, roleplay and BDSM before Rei finishes the book with some information about Tantric massage. Like other sex/massage guides, there are a couple pages dedicated to resources and retailers to guide you on your journey to the ultimate erotic massage and a useful index at the very end. Interesting, there is no information about the other. You might be interested to know that her personal website describes her as a “Tantric Goddess.” I usually like to know how someone is qualified to be writing such material.

After finishing this book, I definitely felt as though my arsenal of massage information had bulked up, in addition to having a greater understanding of the art itself. Ultimate Erotic Massage laid it out in a very easy to digest format and, although I read this book cover to cover, you could easily pick a place where you want to focus. I can see myself referring to it in the future and that it something I rarely say about guide books that I have had the pleasure of reading.

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Categories: Books, Reviews

Lelo Alia

January 4th, 2011

Lelo Alia

Lelo Alia
N/A from

This is an archived review of a discontinued toy. You might try the most recent Ora, instead.

Insignia is the newest line by Lelo, the luxury sex toy company that has pumped out more new items this past year than I have fingers. I have been lucky enough to try several items, including the egg-shaped Alia. I was drawn to the Alia because it’s similar to a regular egg vibrator, but I have difficulty holding those, and I hoped that the hole in the center of the vibrator would ease the stress on my fingers.

Alia is like an egg with slightly flattened sides and a smaller egg shape cut out of the middle. It is slightly larger than your typical egg vibrator at approximately 2.5” long and 1.5” wide. While the outsides of this vibrator are coated in a firm silicone, the inside is lined with plastic painted to look metallic. It has a slight golden sheen, and if you found it difficult to tell whether it was gold or silver in images, it’s pretty much as difficult to tell in person. Unlike some other Lelo’s toys, the silicone is not as firm as I expected. There’s just a tiny bit of give, similar to the Estomed of the Layaspot. The velvety finish also adds to the feeling of softness.

It seems Lelo has been experimenting with packaging this year. Alia comes in a box that contains a foam shape to hold the vibrator and the included brooch while the other side has a liftable cardboard flap that houses the storage/travel pouch and booklets. I have found that the booklets like to slide to the other side, under the foam, and you need to insert your fingers into the foam holes to move the paper back into place in order to access it.

So, the brooch is a small metal pin that is in the shape of what I understand to be the logo for the Insignia line. Imagine an infinity symbol with an extra loop. I’m not really a fan of pins but it’s elegant looking and could spice up an outfit or you could put it on a canvas bag.

Lelo has strayed from their trademark controls with the Insignia toys and the controls actually match the brooch. The logo is engraved into the silicone while the buttons are embossed onto it. There is a + button on one side to turn on and up the vibrator while a – button exists on the other side to do the opposite. The button in the middle looks a bit like this () and allows the user to switch between modes. Those modes include various pulsation and escalation settings. There are around 8 but it’s hard to tell because that middle button needs a lot of pressure in order for the vibrator to respond. Sadly, Lelo has returned to the buzzier type vibrations with Alia. Siri is significantly deeper in terms of vibration. However, Alia is still much more powerful than Lily.

In use, I didn’t find the shape to help at all. In fact, it may have even made this egg-shaped toy more difficult to use. Depending on your finger size, you can fit 2 or 3 through the hole. Nevertheless, I just couldn’t find a comfortable and useful position that made use of the hole and offered the pressure I like. If you simply like to hold vibrators against you, then this may not be an issue.

Lelo has continued to provide the ability to lock your vibrators when not in use by simultaneously pressing – and +. I still say this isn’t as useful and being able to lock it during use but it’s handy for travel. Charging automatically unlocks an Insignia toy, which is important to remember. The manual states that it requires two hours to fully charge; although, mine was already charged. The LED light on the toy will remain white when the battery is full but will pulse as it dies. Users can expect up to four hours of usage from Alia but I have yet to reach that point. I also believe it uses the same adapter as Ina, Mona and Siri. AWESOME!

Now, I have to mention something odd. This toy is supposed to be completely waterproof. My understanding is that the silicone is supposed to stretch to accommodate the adapter when charging but “shrink” to cover the hole when not charging. My hole is completely open all.the.time. (Man, that sounds kinda naughty, doesn’t it?) I would absolutely NOT trust this in water if I didn’t know it was supposed to be fully waterproof. However, I gave it a thorough and fully submerged washing and it came out just fine. I wonder if the silicone port covers that Lelo previously used are a thing of the past.

Another change that Lelo has implemented with this product is the storage bag. It is now double-layered satin, black on the outside and white on the inside. I don’t think it looks as nice as plain black, but it offers slightly more cushion.

The bottom line for me is that Alia really isn’t an improvement over traditional egg vibrators in terms of strength, size or comfort. I would much rather use my $35 BNaughty, which has survived multiple trips to the shower and rough cleanings.

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Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

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Sportsheets Thigh & Wrist Cuffs Set

December 1st, 2010

THIGH & WRIST CUFFS SET

THIGH & WRIST CUFFS SET
$51.69 from Of Sex and Love Store

I have long wanted a set of thigh cuffs for a unique reason. I want to train myself not to clench my thighs shut during orgasm. Unfortunately, I haven’t had a lot of opportunity to do so, what with moving and all. Fortunately, Sportsheets Thigh and Wrist Cuffs Set will do the trick just fine.

I was expecting something similar to the cuffs that come with the Under the Bed Restraints but these are a bit higher quality in my opinion. The cuffs are made of some sort of Neoprene and feature a song lining on the inside. The outside has a slightly rubbery feel to it and the material has give and stretch to aid in comfort during use.

A backpack-like strap runs the length of the cuffs and there is a single O ring (like a keychain) sewn into the strap for attaching to other cuffs, restraints, etc. The stitching is reinforced around the loops where the ring is attached and feels secure. The strap extends past the edge of the wrist cuffs, where a piece of velcro is sewn to the back of the strap. The velcro is not sewn on as neatly as it could be but I’m nitpicking.

The straps are each variable in length with the wrist straps ranging from six to 15 inches in diameter while the length of the thigh straps is between 14 inches and 25 inches. You can potentially use the wrist cuffs on a person with smaller wrists by overlapping them but the design of the thigh cuffs does not allow this. The thigh cuffs are also wider than those for the wrists by about 1/4″. This isn’t problematic for the thigh cuffs but I do find the wrist cuffs to be just wide enough to slightly hinder movement.

The thigh cuffs also differ in that you can adjust the width of the cuffs. Again, it uses a hard plastic adjuster similar to what you would find on a backpack. A single tug on the strap tightens while you have to lift up the plastic tab to loosen the cuffs, making it impossible for the cuffed to break free. This offers an extra ten or so inches; however, it won’t look as neat as a thinner thigh, where the edges of the cuffs can touch or overlap. The end of the strap is hemmed so that it cannot completely slip through the plastic adjuster, making it a full loop, unlike the wrist cuffs, which can come open fully. Thus, you will need to slip the thigh cuffs on over a foot.

Each thigh cuff has a snap type hook attached to the O-ring. Because it is keychain style, you can remove the hook and replace one of your own but I hate removing keys so I probably wouldn’t. The wrist cuffs didn’t get as nice of treatment: only one cuff has a clasp to attach to the other. If you want to attach the cuffs to anything else but the matching cuff, you would have to buy another clasp and slide it onto the ring.

Now, for my personal thoughts. The velcro enclosures of the wrist cuffs are less than ideal and become less effective if your wrists are larger because there is less velcro overlap to secure the cuffs. With a bit of effort, I could pop open the cuffs when they were more widely secured. However, this was not the case when I had the cuff as tight as comfortable so that more velcro secured it. I much prefer the adjuster on the thigh cuffs. It’s easy to take off if need be, and just as easy to tighten.

The foamy Neoprene is thicker than the other Sportsheets cuffs I have and offers a bit more padding if you’re the struggling type.

The included clasps are super functional, but I know that sometimes snap hooks loosen over time, so the keychain-style rings are great if you ever need to replace them. The hardware setup does offer a limited range of motion, of course. The bound person will have between 2-3 inches of movement when both wrists are in the cuffs and attached to one another. The thigh cuffs offer around 5″ of movement. If you want to bind someone’s thighs to their wrists or separately bind the thighs and wrists, respectively, you can. Anything fancier will require the addition of hardware such as a chain.

One thing that really bothers me is the lack of a fourth clasp. You could hog-tie someone, if they’re limber enough, without a chain, but the 3-clasp setup makes it asymmetrical and will unevenly stress the body. The body wouldn’t stress if you bind each wrist to the corresponding thigh, but the hardware will be of differing lengths for each side, and that totally bugs the perfectionist in me. Again, it’s easy to fix but I don’t see why Sportsheets couldn’t just throw in an extra clasp with this set.

Minus that and my general dislike to velcro, the Thigh and Wrist Cuffs Set is one that I see being extremely useful for my future bondage.

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Categories: BDSM, Reviews

VixSkin Spur

September 30th, 2010

Spur Vanilla

Spur Vanilla
$82 from SheVibe

Recently, I finally decided to try a VixSkin dildo. It was different for me because I really don’t like flesh-coloured toys or ones that are realistically shaped. I have a number of glass dildos, a couple of silicone, and some metal ones as well, but realistic ones just never appealed. Still, everyone was totally into me getting something and Twitter agreed that I needed to go with VixSkin if realistic was the goal. I won’t lie; the lack of real dick in my life has been a bit disappointing.

So I requested the VixSkin Spur and it was quickly on my doorstep. It arrived in a cylindrical plastic container that I love. I’ve had a few toys come in similar containers; they’re great for things that are generally long and narrow. They offer more protection than plastic bags, and they’re ideal for permanently storing your toys.

I began to play with the Spur immediately. I understood this toy was dual-layered; intellectually, I knew there was a firmer inner core, but it was something else to actually feel it. I sat it on my desk and groped and stroked it for a few hours. I took pictures. I sent them to a friend who thought the spur looked huge. It’s not, really. I specifically picked a smaller toy because I don’t love banging the shit out of my cervix. Thus, Spur really isn’t the toy for size queens with its 4-¾” length and 1-¼” diameter.

Who might enjoy this?

  • Harness lovers: Spur includes a wide, flat base that is harness compatible. The inner core makes it functional for thrusting too but…
  • Packin’ folks may find that it’s soft enough to wear in clothes. This depends but when I sit the Spur on a flat surface, gravity tends to pull it down and exaggerate the slight curve in the shaft.
  • Folks like me who don’t want to beat up their cervixes.
  • Novices who may be looking for a non-intimidating toy.
  • Everyone who wants to play with fun, squishy silicone.

My first scene with Spur was quite enjoyable. I broke out the Liberator Throe and was also trying out Lelo Siri. Internally, Spur felt more realistic. It wasn’t fooling my hands, but my vagina couldn’t much tell the difference. I loved the realistic sensations, but being able to thrust at my own convenience, and I squirted pretty quickly.

The base makes for a great handle and the Spur is easy to maneuver, but I find I can squeeze my thighs around the base during orgasm to keep Spur inserted, too; I used this method during clitoral orgasm with the Siri. And this, in my opinion, is where Spur really shines. As my PC muscles spasm during orgasm, the Spur has enough give that they’re not clenching to produce a painful sensation, as is often the case with toys that are larger and harder.

Because my G-spot can be sensitive in an unpleasant way, even if I want something inserted, sometimes it’s simply too painful to do so. That’s not a problem because Vixen’s silicone composition is awesome!

Are there any downsides to the Spur? Well, sort of. It collects lint and dust because the silicone is so soft. Storing it in the plastic container it came in is a great idea because of this. And you should only used it with water-based lube. Typically, this isn’t a problem, but I accidentally used some silicone-based lube with the Spur, and it has become sticky, and I’m no longer considering it nonporous. Some folks suggest that VixSkin is more susceptible to these types of reactions, so be warned.

Back to the positives, VixSkin is especially susceptible to temperature play. It quickly warms to body temperature, and I found the opposite to also be true: when I played with an ice vibe, the Spur cooled down immediately even though it was inserted. You can use a bowl of warm or cool water, though.

Because it is silicone, you can clean with soap and water or boil to disinfect the Spur to swap between partners or orifices. I don’t share so soap and water it is, then off to the towel to dry.

So, if you can’t tell, I really like the Spur. I never knew I could like a realistic toy so much. It’s really quite awesome.

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Categories: Dildos, Reviews

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Best Lesbian Erotica 2010

July 30th, 2010

Best Lesbian Erotica 2010

Best Lesbian Erotica 2010
$11.99 from Amazon

It took me forever to finish Best Lesbian Erotica 2010. I am now 100% positive that I can never be 100% satisfied with lesbian erotica. Or full-length erotica, at that. I wish it hadn’t taken two full anthologies to realize that, however.

I would describe this collection much the same way I described last year’s. There’s lesbian sex. Group sex. Oral, anal, penetration. Gender-bending. Roleplaying. Fantasies. BDSM and more. Many of the stories included omitted relationships, or at least that is what I assumed from the way they were written. There were some no-strings-attached encounters, and one story even included a first-time lesbian experience, as in “In the Sauna” by Stella Watts Kelley. For the most part, the characters have established their gender and sexual identities. As a mostly straight chick who doesn’t identify with her anatomy, it can be a little difficult to empathize with the characters or situations. I think that detracts from my enjoyment a bit.

It would definitely balance the collection to have a few more first-time or novice-type stories. I could better relate to those, and that would allow me to get lost in the story. As it is, I really had to force myself to finish this book, especially because some of the pieces were ridiculously long and included multiple parts. I was discussing this book with someone else, and it struck me that others may not read erotica to get off, but I do. Thus, the erotica that I find most effective keeps moving, has more overt sex than covert and isn’t so long that it works against my orgasm. Shorter stories also work better to get me in the mood sooner.

Although I’ve started this fairly negatively, it’s not a horrible collection. The stories are unique, well written and well edited. There’s a lot of creativity. I personally had not heard of any of the authors but, like any anthology, you can find additional information about them at the back of the book.

There were a couple of memorable stories, too. Holly Farris wrote a piece entitled “Lives of the Saints” in which two amorous saints visit a woman who experiences doubts about her relationship. Additionally, I was entertained by Kelsy Chauvin’s “Sexting: One Side of a Two-Way.” In this story, we see a number of sexual texts from one woman to another with whom she had an encounter. The timeline stretches over a two-week period, during which the women chat back and forth and have several more encounters. The format is extremely unique and easy to read. I also especially enjoyed “Shameless” by Kimberly Reed and Anais Morten. This two-part piece follows a lesbian couple as they perform in front of a pair of strangers who are men. Each character gets the chance to tell her side of the story as she performs for her lover.

Some stories were simply not my style because they weren’t direct enough or were perhaps too creative for me. I have no idea what actually happened in “Uppercasing” by Charlie Anders. I guess I need my sex and erotica to be a little more straight forward.

Some folks might think that this series may be suffering from a new editor or the fact that a bunch of musicians (Sorry, I’ve never heard of BETTY) chose the stories. Maybe it’s related, but I didn’t love last year’s edition, either. I know that erotica is subjective. You win some, you lose some sort of thing but I also know that really intriguing erotica stays with me permanently. I can name a handful of stories from other collections, including Five Minute Erotica, that have really stuck with me over the past year to eighteen months. I just don’t think this will cut it.

I’m still interested in erotica but I am going to focus on unique situational erotica and shorter stories from this point on.

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Categories: Books, Reviews

Image © MisterUnlucky; used with permission.