funwares Archives - of Sex and Love

Fetish Fantasy Series Beginner’s Ball Gag

December 17th, 2011

Beginner's Ball Gag - Black
17.99 from Pipedream

Welp, my first ball gag experience was not beginner-friendly. It’s not necessarily the fault of Pipedream; although, the generic copy they provide to retailers doesn’t explain that this is a 1.75″ diameter gag and that’s pretty important information if you have a tiny mouth like I do. So, I can’t even get this in my mouth. I’d have to shove it in there and there’s no way it would come out without breaking some teeth or bones. Not cool.

But if you know you can use a ball gag of this size, it’s cheap and decently made. The ball is made of rubber and strung on a nylon strap. It’s not fixed in place so it can slide to the left and right a few inches but the length of nylon to which the ball is attached is actually attached to another piece of strap with D-rings that are attached via rivets. These pieces stop the ball from moving forever. Technically, this ball gag comes in 3-pieces.

The point of those detachable straps is confusing if you buy this product, but if you realize that Pipedream makes a ball gag training set, it’s likely that they once made a similar set that reused some of these parts. Of course, they’re only snaps, so they’re not locked in place but they actually do require a bit of effort for me to unsnap. You have to use both of the straps in order to create a full loop, though.

One of the straps ends in two D-rings, while the other is just the strap that you loop through both, then back through one like you would with children’s belts. At least, that’s the one application that easily comes to mind. It’s secure but quick to take off by moving the outer ring.

It’s also somewhat adjustable. At its tightest, the gag has a circumference of around 15″, including the ball itself. The straps offer about 5″ more of leeway if you require it. A quick measure of my own head indicates that this will fit my head with a couple extra inches but those with larger heads may need to modify the design for their needs.

Because I was not able to successfully wear it, I can’t say if it’s comfortable. The nylon isn’t the softest and it may irritate those with sensitive skin. The ball gag won’t completely block airflow but can cause a drooly mess; however, that may not be a negative for you. It does block access to the mouth, of course.

The rubber ball does offer just a bit of give when you apply pressure to it. You may be able to damage it if you’re biting down especially hard but I wasn’t able to leave any marks by gently biting or using my nails. I do wish that you were able to remove the ball from the strap to clean it better, however. You also can’t sterilize it because it is a porous material and I’d worry about bacteria building up after a while on the strap/instead the hole. I would probably replace this gag every so often for those reasons. If you want a permanent tool, I’d consider the Tantus fantasy gag, instead.

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Categories: BDSM, Reviews

18″ Classic Leather Whip

December 2nd, 2011

18" Classic Leather Whip
$22.95 from FunWares

My impact play collection is small but growing. I have a rabbit fur flogger that feels design but isn’t effective at transmitting pain or staying together. I have the paintbrush flogger that is mostly a novelty. I do enjoy Babeland’s riding crop and now I have a very traditional leather flogger. Perhaps I can clear up some misconceptions that maybe no one has.

Actually, it seems that this flogger was made by the same folks who made my rabbit fur flogger — Touch of Fur. This one is much higher quality, though. The 18″ whip is about 2/3 tails and 1/3 handle. I can fit just about two fists on the handle but it’ll be a comfortable fit for those with larger hands, too. The handle is uniformly wrapped in leather and there’s a plastic cap over the end, through which a small D ring is attached. It’s really small, though and I think it could stand to be a bit larger because this will only fit on long, slender hooks. Either end of the handle is secured with hardware, the name of which is completely escaping my mind. But don’t expect this piece to come apart too easily. Plus, the silver on black looks smart.

Even though it’s labeled as a whip, it’s a multi-tailed tool. There’s 12 to be exactly. and they overlap in two and a half rows around the rounded handle. The leather tails are cut with perfectly straight ends and the outside is finished to a shine while the inside of the tails is soft and unfinished. They both feel nice, actually. The leather does not smell as amazing as I like my leather to smell but it won’t kill me.

This flogger is actually the most.. severe that I own. It’s not that you can’t flog someone lightly but it creates delicious welts, small ones albeit, with surprisingly little effort. In fact, its bark (welts) may even be a little bit more intense than its bite (pain) and this could be good for a novice. I like finally having an impact toy that will leave some marks and can easily be felt.

This one is pretty balanced, to my inexperience hand, and aims fairly well. The tails mostly stay together when swinging and it’s not long enough that you’ll have to worry about too much wrap around, which can mean pain in a negative way. I don’t like things that require too much arm strength or practice so this flogger is right at my level.

I don’t even remember if it came with a plastic bag. If it did, I threw it out right away. I also don’t remember any instructions but I’d wipe this with a damp cloth, pat dry and let it hang to air dry completely. The hook, which is too small in my opinion, will work for some storage solutions. Vertical storage really is where it’s at, folks.

My experience with the 18″ Classic Leather Whip has been far more enjoyable than with their rabbit fur flogger but I’d love if it FunWares and similar sites gave more information about the manufacturer. d=

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Categories: BDSM, Reviews

Bijoux Indiscrets cosmetics for better sex

Metal Worx Curve

November 9th, 2011

Metal Worx Curve
from

Note: this is an archived review of a discontinued product, but you can buy the Fun Wand, which Pipedream knocked off.

I know Pipedream is getting a lot of flak for basically copying Njoy’s designs in its new Metal Worx line, and I have to say, I understand why. Most of the designs are far from original. However, I’m also glad to see a big name get into making quality metal dildos because this means there are more options and more affordable options for broke bastards like myself who want to experience metal at a lower price tag. For comparison, the Metal Worx Curve is a ripoff of the Njoy Fun Wand, which FunWares carries for $66. The Curve is just under $43. That’s a significant savings, in my opinion.

There are slight differences between these pieces, though. The Curve has four bumps on the one end. This makes it 2″ longer than the Fun Wand — for a total of 10″. The largest balls on the Fun Wand have a 1″ diameter while the larger on the Curve, at the G-spot end, is 1.25″ in diameter. This same ball is entirely spherical, while all the bumps on the Fun Wand are oblong. The four balls on the other end of the Curve are oblong, however.

I think that I would like the Curve better than the Fun Wand. This is where I remind you that the Pure Wand didn’t do it for me. It was bulky and hard to handle and one end was too small, the other end too large. It curved too much, ultimately missing my G-spot. At this point, I wish I hadn’t swapped it away for comparison photos but c’est la vie.

The Curve has a less drastic curve and because the other end curves away from my body, I can use it without stabbing myself in the mons. The four bumps also make for a good handhold, another complaint I had about the Pure Wand. The ball at the end is ridiculously good at finding my G-spot. In fact, I’d hazard a guess that I finally experienced the uber gushing that many women reported after using the Pure Wand. More FE than ever.

The balled end is more of an anal toy; although, I did try it vaginally. It felt interesting, but the dildo is just unbalanced. The other end is much heavier, and I found it difficult to control the balls. A more shallow thrusting was required, and I’m just not that patient. In addition to this, the last ball is just kind of pointy and the result was more pain than I like.

Cervix, you’re a bitch.

Here’s the thing, though. This line is not as high quality as Njoy’s toys, period. Some toys shipped with serious defects. It’s no wonder Metal Worx toys are a) not stainless steel; just steel and b) suffer from a serious lack of quality control if toys can ship with such issues. Pipedream stopped making them.

I didn’t notice any serious defects when I first examined the Curve nor when I washed it. Mine is definitely usable but it’s not as luxury as the Pure Wand. I took a closer look and noticed some “bubbles” in the finish as well as what look like “dried drips,” like you would get with paint. Picture for emphasis.

Unfortunately, it’s a little difficult to take a picture of something reflective. I’m no photog.

Like Njoy, Pipedream has gone with a custom box for these. It’s a locking metal case that reminds me of a toolbox or some of the storage chests floating around. I don’t find the button to work very well so I have to manually lift the latch. Also, boxes are bulky so I’d be happy with a pouch, anyway. It does minimize packaging, though.

Ultimately, Pipedream has done some sleazy copying and some cheap production. I got lucky enough to get a usable Metal Worx dildo and it was super effective. I can’t say that the Fun Wand would be my best friend but you have to consider the chances of getting a dud if you want to save money and opt for the Metal Worx products. For some, it won’t be worth the risk.

4 Comments

Categories: Dildos, Reviews

Vanity by Jopen #4

November 3rd, 2011

Vanity by Jopen #4
from

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

The VR-4 marks the third Vanity by Jopen rabbit that I’ve tried and the third that I didn’t like. All the shapes are just slightly different enough that I find it hard to figure out which would work for me. The Vr. 6 was extremely rigid. Like Lelo’s Ina, it was a little pinchy.. but I liked the vibrations.

The Jopen #4 actually differs in that the neck of the shaft is quite flexible so you can experiment a little more with positions. This means it may work better for a variety of users.. or so I’d guess. The head of the shaft is a rigid silicone, however, so you can still get pressure where you need it.

The shaft is also more angular, too. First, it curves backward to accommodate the pubic bone. Then it curves forward toward the G-spot. The very tip curves very slightly back once more. In use, it really presses up against the G-spot. This is good for squirting — I did a lot — and makes me feel fuller but the angle isn’t so good for thrusting. I find myself having to be a little more careful. #4 provides direct stimulation in the way that’s best for users who like to hold a vibrator against their G-spot. The angles make the 3.5″x 1.5″ shaft feel much larger than it is, in my experience. My cervix is a little unhappy.

The insertable portion runs on its own motor that is powered by a single button. I’ve described that in detail here so I won’t do it again. I like it but I’m not used to it. Every time I reach for a Jopen toy, I have to relearn the buttons. Unless CEN plans to make all its toys operate in this manner, I think maybe it should consider not reinventing the wheel.

The clitoral arm is also more flexible. It doesn’t seem to have the motor right in it but just under it, so the vibrations here are weaker than I recall the Vr 6. The silicone provides a firm but flexible stimulation that I would like, except the arms just too damned short for me. It measures just over an inch long and is about 4/5″ wide. It probably wouldn’t provide the broad pressure I like if it did reach, though. The clitoral stimulator gets its own button. See above for my thoughts.

Overall, the Vanity by Jopen #4 seemed a little less powerful than other Jopen vibrators. This is especially noticeable in the clitoral arm. At times, the shaft motor also seemed jerky. This isn’t something I’ve experienced before and it’s not a deal-breaker, but it’s interesting enough to note.

Like the other toys in the line, this toy is rechargeable (there’s a light on the toy itself to indicate status) and comes with the adapter and a super large storage bag. I mentioned it before, but it’s so stretchy that it’s almost unwieldy. I’m not a fan. Jopen vibes are all waterproof, made of non-porous silicone and not compatible with silicone lubes.

The flexibility is the strongest feature of the Vanity by Jopen #4. I like how it creates more room for the pubic bone, too, but it does so in a way that presses toward the back vaginal wall, and I don’t like that so much. If you want a decently powered vibrator and think that this one will fit your proportions, you could do much worse.

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Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Make love to your long distance lover online

Lelo Massage Candle

September 29th, 2011

Lelo Massage Candle
$43.29 from Store.OfSexAndLove.com

When it comes to the design of Lelo’s massage candles, they’re really quite solid. Each candle sits in a black ceramic (I think) glass that is just a tiny bit translucent. The candle has a metal lid with a looped handle on top. The handle is made of an amber-colored plastic that, in my opinion, is the low point of the design. It’s probably just because it’s not my favorite color.

When you first open the candle, there is a piece of foam with an attached ribbon. I’m not entirely sure what functions this serves. Perhaps it helps to seal the easily melted wax in place? Or keeps the scent for longer? It’s a bit like the cotton wad at the top of a pill bottle.

The wax itself is soft and white. It’s not difficult to rub some off with a finger but it is noticeably more firm than any other massage candle I’ve tried. This means that you will have to burn the candle either hotter or longer than others and it’s peculiar, to say the least. However, perhaps Lelo wanted to stress the longer burn time over the massage properties. There’s certainly a balance to be achieved, and I think this product just missed the mark.

The scent I requested to review was vanilla & creme de cacao. I’m not exactly sure what that should smell like. Red velvet cake, maybe? I’m also not entirely sure how to describe what it does smell like. The unlit candle isn’t pleasant in the least. After lighting, it smells better and I can detect the vanilla.. but it almost smells like spoiled cake batter. It’s almost like something snuck in there with the good smell.

Even if I loved the smell, I’d still have to complain because it’s virtually impossible to detect unless I hold the candle right under my nose. It doesn’t waft through the air. It’s nearly impossible to detect.

Perhaps Lelo has still created a product that works well even if it doesn’t smell amazing, you ask? No, they didn’t. I don’t know what to say about this one, but I lit the candle to melt before I started writing this review, and even after letting it burn for several minutes, there’s barely enough wax melted to give a hand massage, let alone a full-body one. I can also feel that the wax is much hotter than other candles, and I suspect it burns so hot that the wax is literally melting away rather than melting into oil. Plus, the candle doesn’t burn evenly. There’s still plenty of wax on the sides.

The cylindrical container, while cute, isn’t actually ideal for pouring what oil there is because there’s no lip or spout to direct the oil. That’s why I have drip lines of wax down the side. You have to hold your hand directly next to the jar (and flame) and risk burning to avoid spilling. You’d think a premium company would have considered this detail. It’s not my ideal choice, but my furniture is more expensive than my skin, so there’s my choice.

Unfortunately, the list of moisturizing ingredients doesn’t include aloe–even though it does include vitamin E, soy wax, shea butter and apricot kernel oil–so I can’t use this handle to heal the wounds it causes. Just kidding. It’s not that hot.

If you’re patient enough to wait and then use this too-hot product, you’ll probably still be disappointed. It’s probably the greasiest-feeling massage product I’ve ever used. It rubs into the skin quickly and has a thick feeling that actually seems to cause drag. Lelo’s massage candles really make me want to wash my skin as quickly as possible.

I can’t wait to burn this up so I can put something useful, like pennies, in the container. Other than that, there is not a single redeeming quality about the Lelo massage candles.

9 Comments

Categories: Massage, Reviews

Nomi Tang Getaway Luxe

August 22nd, 2011

Nomi Tang Getaway Luxe
N/A from

This has since been replaced with the Nomi Tang Getaway Plus 2.

Has it really been soooo long since I first review the Better Than Chocolate? It was novel then, although not perfect. I’ve been wondering how well the new Nomi Tang vibrators would work but refrained from trying them because I had more than enough effective G-spot vibrators. Still, they looked so interesting, with their airplane-esque designs, that I eventually requested one to review.

The Luxe is the black model, the in-between, with an angled, slightly bulbous head. It’s less intense than the Wild but more interesting than the narrow shaft of the Pure. In fact, the Wild is awfully similar to the Lelo Ella, and I don’t think my pubic bone likes hooky things much. So Luxe it was.

There are some definite improvements over Tang’s first effort. For starters, the Luxe is coated in a silky silicone rather than the TPE composite of the Better Than Chocolate. The silicone feels velvety and smooth to the touch and is definitely softer. Although the inner workings of this vibrator are rigid, you can squeeze at the handle and the bulbous head and feel a bit of give. You might not expect this from the images, but I definitely approve.

Another improvement is the use of 2 AA batteries rather than AAA. Although the Getaway Luxe isn’t the most powerful vibrator that I own, its vibrations are moderately rumbly and more than do the trick for me. Now, if you’ve been here before, you’ll know that I respond well to deeper vibrations, even if they aren’t super strong. Unfortunately, if strength alone is what you require, the Luxe may not meet your needs.

That is not this toy’s only downfall. I complained in my Better Than Chocolate review but I just don’t understand why these vibrators start in their highest settings! Surely, we’re going to want to turn it up and be sorely disappointed when we realize that this is all we get. No need to reinvent the wheel here. Low to high has worked well for years.

I haven’t noticed any difference in the touch controls. In fact, I used my previous review to remember how to use them. The user guide is wrong, as it indicates sliding your finger toward the NT logo turns the vibrations up when the opposite is actually true. It’s a fairly smooth transition between strengths, but there’s not too much of a difference between the high and the low. In my opinion, the low could be even lower for more of a preparatory sensation and, of course, the highest steady vibration setting could be stronger yet. It’s definitely a middle-of-the-road vibrator.

I’d like some sort of light setting to indicate the strength of the vibrations on this one because you don’t have the definitive click of a button. The light remains steady on the steady vibrations, instead. It flashes when you turn on different modes after holding the NT logo for two seconds. As far as I can tell, the modes include a slow and fast pulsation–and that’s it. I don’t mind because the pulsation is pretty effective, but most vibrators have more settings than I can count or tell apart. If you like escalation or faster pulsation, you might find this one lacking.

But back to the positives. The Getaway Luxe is lockable if you press and hold the end of the slider without a logo. The logo turns red to indicate locking status, and if you power it off and back on again, it will be unlocked. You can use it underwater, and the battery compartment is pretty secure; however, the controls need to be dry to use. I’ve also noticed that it’s less responsive if my hands are a little greasy if I’ve put on lotion, and lube would seemingly cause the same.

My thoughts on the touch controls are a little less positive this time around. It works; it has some nice features, but it’s not as convenient as a physical button, which is quicker, offers tactile feedback, and will still work even when greasy (for the most part). I’m also frustrated with the entire battery setup. You screw off the end of the toy to insert 2AAs into a plastic carriage. It’s a little finicky, and I’d rather directly insert the batteries. Aligning the cap back up is a bitch. I can’t never get it right, so it always takes a few moments of fiddling. Once it’s on, it’s on and secure, however.

I did enjoy the shape and texture of the Getaway Luxe. The bulbous head easily found my G-spot and was also good for clitoral stimulation. The wide handle is so easy to grasp and a little softer than the shaft. The placement of the touch script, during use, is a bit awkward but it’s not so much an issue if you leave it on one setting.

Luxe offers 6 insertable inches, and the majority of the shaft is only around 1 inch thick. The bulbous head is slightly wider, but it’s not a large toy by any means, so it may be good for newbies. Because of the larger handle, the toy has an overall length of 11″ and you may want to pass this by if you want something discreet.

Like the Better Than Chocolate, this comes in a pretty white box. This time, it sits in satin, with a long and narrow guide book and Nomi Tang now includes a drawstring satin bag for storage and transportation. While the Getaway Luxe hasn’t proven to be a dust magnet like some of my other silicone toys, this is definitely a plus. Yet, other toys come with storage and better performance for less.

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