I Love My Boss

May 26th, 2009

The Boss Naked
N/A from

This is an archived review of a discontinued toy.

..and you can be sure I’ve never had reason to say that before, until now. Unfortunately, the Boss vibrator has some of the same issues as real bosses. Like, there are a couple of different versions, which leads to some confusion. Which is the real boss? Who do I actually report to? I mean, there’s the new Boss Lady in town with her pink power suit. But there are also a couple more bosses who demand your attention. The original boss, even though his position seems to have been liquidated, can still be found stuck in his old-fashioned ways. He seems to be making his presence known, complete with dial-style controls. Finally, some folks like myself are familiar with a sort of transitional Boss. You could say that while he looks more like the old Boss (colour), he acts more like the new one (control type). While some people prefer the old boss, he has been giving his pink slip and the Boss Lady is here to stay.

Like any employer, sometimes the Boss just doesn’t mesh with some folks. There seem to be a lot of issues revolving around opening the battery compartment on both styles. The battery cap pops off from the boss with sort of a partial twist which can be confusing. Furthermore, there have been reports of the Boss not completing all his duties fully or at all. He has failed to vibrate and/or pulsate for some unless they fidget with the battery pack or controls (and sometimes that doesn’t even help) but I think a boss should just do his job. Luckily for me, mine did.

If you’re considering the Boss to get the job done, you’ll notice he comes well-dressed for the job. With his clean lines, defined head and velvety matte texture (which might mean using an extra drop or two of water-based lube), it’s hard to not be drawn to the boss. The Boss has a gentle curve and substantial girth (1-3/5”) so heads up, size queens. With an insertable length of just under 7″, the Boss knows how to dress for success and his overall appearance lured me into cooperation.

But it was his performance that got the best review! Although not the largest toy I own, The Boss feels incredibly filling, even bigger than he is. The silicone is firm enough for thrusting but soft enough that he feels as though he’s conforming to me especially. One of the last toys I tried, while large, never felt filling. If there is one area in which the Boss excels, this is it! Were I to search for the perfect size and shape of cock, I would walk down the line up of cock with The Boss in my hand, comparing, and I cannot help but wonder if anything or anything will compare. I definitely think the texture and shape of the Boss give the impression of a toy bigger than the Boss is but, hey, sometimes you have to know when to fool people into thinking you’re more than you are.

Billed as the perfect G-spot vibe, I didn’t find that he quite hit mine right during solo play but don’t doubt his firmness would make him the right man for the job if someone could intervene for me (damn my short arms). Yet, the Boss isn’t a man so hard you need to be afraid – he has a sensitive side. The Boss is definitely soft and flexible. The top half of the shaft is pure, flexible silicone, while the motor is located toward the middle of the shaft, on the bottom half.

Using the Boss’s flexibility to my advantage has turned this into the perfect dual-stimulation toy. I know he doesn’t look like much of a double-tasker, but being able to bend him upward so that the little clitoral nub makes contact is amazing. Otherwise, I don’t think that little clitoral nub will do much of anything; in fact, that was even the thought I had about it right out of the package. While I’ve used the Boss to get off with the head on my clit, bending him has definitely provided the best orgasms. I find that I can sometimes get into such a rhythm that thrusting him provides stimulation against both my G-spot (the thrusting causes the vibe to curve back in a way it otherwise wouldn’t) and clit, in sequence.

I’m glad, for once, that The Boss proved me wrong. He has proved to be a much harder worker and easier to work with than I would have originally guessed. For instance, I thought he had some control issues, in the beginning. It was difficult to push his buttons to access the multiple levels of vibration and pulsation. My small hands struggled. However, because my grip on the toy was actually reversed when in use, I found the buttons easier to use this way and was soon provided with 7 or so pleasing levels of vibration (provided by 4 AAA batteries). While not the strongest toy in my collection (that pleasure goes to the Miracle Massager), the boss was not disappointing, either, and his 3 levels of pulsation were not the wimpy kind – I definitely felt them deep within. All the while, the Boss used only a suitable indoor voice and you’d never know he was just a room over. I would have to say, however, that the Boss does not perform consistently. The vibes were much stronger near the clitoral bump than the head of the shaft.

Of course, I’m a critical person and I couldn’t help but notice a specific area where the Boss’s traits were over-exaggerated a bit. Rumors about the Boss say that he is good at giving an extra boost to get the job done when it’s really getting down to the line. I was not impressed by the turbo boost button at the end of the vibe. Essentially, it seems like an extra level of steady vibration, which you can press when orgasm is near, to set you over the edge. I didn’t find the boost to be that powerful, and the fact that you need to hold it down also hampers the effect. It would make more sense if, say, I could press the boost button once and get a few seconds of extra power without needing to hold it.

Nevertheless, there are a few understated qualities of the boss that make him a pleasure to work with. He’s not afraid to get his hands wet, which makes him perfect for use in the shower and easy to clean.

If you can’t tell yet, I’ve really gotten used to working with the Boss and I look forward to our teamwork in the future.

11 Comments

Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Fusion Duality

April 15th, 2009

$39
N/A from

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

Evolved’s Fusion line of toys has so far been really intriguing, offering multiple uses with dual-ended vibrators and endless patterns of fun. Although longer than your typical vibrator with a length of 10-1/2″, the Fusion Duality isn’t the thickest toy and measures only 1-1/2″ at its widest point. Unlike double penetration toys, the double sides on these toys really only work best for one person; the toy simply isn’t long enough for two people. In fact, for my own personal use, I would have liked the Duality to be a bit longer, especially the end with the flared bumps, which remind me of a rattlesnake tail. Because of the location of the controls, this end offered significantly less insertable length and I was disappointed because of that. I enjoyed the sensation of inserting the bulging shaft into my pussy but was able to insert it less than 3 inches.  To me, it would make more sense that the controls for each side would be on the opposite side rather than right next to the side you insert. However, I was able to orgasm using this end on my clitoris.

I didn’t fare so well with the hooked G-spot stimulation. I actually found insertion to be uncomfortable because of the hard plastic in combination with the shape. The hooked end is rather pointy which allows for pinpoint stimulation but also can feel rather sharp. There is an additional bump on the otherwise straight shaft which seems rather useless. Occasionally it would poke me uncomfortably when inserted. I’m not sure where or how this is supposed to feel good. When I could occasionally angle the hook so that it stimulated my G-spot nicely, the entrance to my pussy would feel sore. This end of the Duality was simply not mad for me.

Aside from those issues,  I found this vibrator to be well made, like I have come to expect from Evolved troys. It comes in the typical metal storage container and the vibrator sits in a contoured piece of foam. The velvet-coat plastic feels absolutely divine in my hand, but my pussy and vulva aren’t quite as sensitive to the texture.  It does at a bit of friction/resistance when thrusting, however. The shade of purple is feminine without being overly girly and there is a modern design around the control area which is cute. I found that this toy had a comfortable heft to it and feels solid in my hands.

Like every Evolved toy I have used, it is waterproof and while I did not choose to use this in the shower (I find it extremely difficult to enjoy myself standing), I ran water over it for a period of time and none leaked into the battery compartment. At first it actually seemed like the two ends did not fit snugly against eachother in order to provide a waterproof seal but the opposite seems to be true. As I wash my toys with soap and water, this is reassuring.

I find the Fusion vibes to be interesting as there are independent motors on each side. However ,I cannot think of time when they would need to be used together. As I already mentioned, this toy really is too short to use with multiple partners and I think the hard ABS plastic would also make it uncomfortable, even painful. As more toys are released from this line, I wonder if we will be able to mix and match because that would provide with the ultimate personal experience.

As is, Evolved claims there are 16 modes of operation to be had with the Fusion Duality. I can only count 15, including 6 single and 9 combination modes, but I’m not about to split hairs over that missing mode. 😉 These settings include a high, medium and low constant vibration on the G-spot hook side. The vibrations are more powerful than Evolved’s Waterproof Seduction but not mind blowingly so. The amount of power is more than  satisfactory for the 4 AAA batteries required.

The rattlesnake tail has 3 different pulsation settings, the first of which is a steady, fast pulsation. The second is a long buzz followed by a quick succession of shorter pulses and this repeats. The third is a really unique pulsation, which is fast, short, and increases in power until it steadies off. This delightful sensation is perfect just before orgasm.

All of these modes are controlled by one of two buttons – one for each side. Unfortunately, the G-spot hook only has steady vibration, and the pulsations are only available on the bulged end, which I think limits the possibilities of this toy. I also thought that I might be able to use only one side of this toy without requiring all 4 batteries, but this was not the case. I’m not sure if it’s possible but I had to hijack 2 of the batteries for my LayaSpot and then wasn’t able to use it at all. LOL

Like other Evolved toys, the Fusion Duality did become difficult to use when my hands were slippery with lube. My fingers curled around the bulging end comfortably when I had the G-spot hook inserted but after lube was applied, it became difficult to grasp.

One unexpected use for this purple vibrator might be as a body massager. The extra long shaft and bulges worked well for a back massage – or even a back scratcher is the need should arise (that pointy hook has to be good for something!).

In the end, I think Evolved is making some unique toys in their Fusion line, which is worth keeping an eye on. While the Duality is a solid vibrator with a lot of different options to enjoy, I found the shape left a little to be desired for its intended use. I don’t think I’ll be achieving that elusive G-spot orgasm with the Fusion Duality but the bulged end definitely works out as a clitoral vibrator

14 Comments

Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Symphony G-Harmony

February 25th, 2009

Symphony G-Harmony
from

This is an archived review of a discontinued toy.

I want to say right away that I don’t think the Symphony G-Harmony is necessarily a bad toy.  After all, I did enjoy it as a clit stimulator, and when I managed to find that “sweet” spot, it felt really good. However, finding that spot was not something which came easily or often.

I was interested in this little purple gem because I wanted to explore my G-spot. I had only had clitoral orgasms before so I did a little searching. I thought that most of those long G-spot wands looked dorky and, as usual, my sense of aesthetic took over. I must say, in that respect, the G-Harmony is amazing. Its translucent purple TPR really is gorgeous and the wave-like ridges at the tip seem to really fit the name for some reason. Plus, the base reminds me of a gemstone. The way this G-spot vibrator catches the eye is almost breathtaking, and I think I might even like the way it looks better than all of the rest of my toys.

Evolved also provides this toy with its typical classy packaging (a fancy metal box) – this time in red with black accents. This works well for store,ge but I do find it to be a bit bul,ky so I wouldn’t use it with a toy I use frequently (it would make a good storage case for a number of other items inside the bedroom and out); unfortunately, I will not be using this toy frequently.

The first issue I ran into was that this toy is a little girthier than many G-spot toys. In application, I couldn’t twist and turn it any which way to perfect my technique (or lack thereof LOL). I couldn’t go from different angles; this pretty much remained in one position. Now, I like my insertable toys to be significant in size, and if I were looking for a basic vibrator, I might like this size. But it wound up hindering my G-spot experimentation. I already knew my body seems to be as fickle as my mind can sometimes be, and I would need to be able to feel about a bit to find the perfect spot, but I just couldn’t with this toy. However; I don’t think that means everyone will run into the same problem.

My next approach was to use the flexibility of this toy to its utmost potential. Between the base and the tip (where the bullet is located), there is a certain amount of give and flexibility. A lot of G-spot toys seem to be firm the whole way through, and I originally liked this flexibility. The problem was the flexibility reduced the amount of pressure I was able to exert internally so I had to try to bend the toy against the back wall of my vagina so that the tip might curve back upward toward my G-spot. This didn’t work.

However, the flexibility was nice when it came to thrusting. When I slid the G-harmony out of my pussy, I could drag it across my clit in a curved path, before pushing it back in, and I did like this, but it wasn’t going to get me off. I was able to use the G-Harmony on my clit to get off, though, which was unexpected. Sadly, it wasn’t my goal.

Unfortunately, I have a tendency to break toys that had a flexible spot, and this wasn’t an exception. Although it’s still completely functional and beautiful, I (am pretty sure I) have just barely broken this vibrator, somehow. The flexible place is now a little floppy. While I can still use it, it certainly doesn’t help me achieve orgasm.

As the facts stacked up, I accepted that I was not going to have my first G-spot orgasm with this vibe. Although it looked and felt nice, it wasn’t extraordinary. I liked the vibrations inside and out; they were fairly powerful (without being over the top). Plus, the bullet location in the tip was a good thought, but it was just nice. Even the ridges that give this toy its aesthetic appeal really didn’t add up to much. I’m not sure if my vag is less sensitive than others, but I really couldn’t feel them once inserted.

One thing that consistently annoys me about Evolved products is that they like to put their buttons on the bottom. This makes it easy to use (push once for on, twice to increase the power, a third time to turn it on high, and again to turn it off) but I was constantly turning this toy off by accident. I have another Evolved toy that does the same.

On the other hand, I think Evolved has made some decent TPR products. The colour was gorgeously translucent, and I only noticed a slight scent. I have heard some TPR toys smell quite strongly and this wasn’t the case. The smell I noticed wasn’t rubbery or like chemicals; actually, it smelled vaguely of gasoline (and I’m one of those weirdos who like the smell).

One last note: I had a bit of difficulty with the battery pack at first. 2 AAs go into the pack, which slides out of the base of this toy. This makes it a little easier to insert, and I have no problem inserting the batteries into the pack. I did run into an issue because the pack has to go in a certain way, and this isn’t clearly marked. I didn’t realize this because I put it incorrectly because it went in pretty easily. But when I realized this, it was already stuck, and I had to pry it out with a spreading knife. LOL If you have an Evolved toy with a removable battery pack, take notice of the sizes of the ridges inside the toy when you’re putting it in.

I don’t hate this toy; I just don’t love it. I think my issues were not universal; it just wasn’t the best toy for a beginner’s G-spot exploration (because of its size), and the flexibility didn’t help as I initially thought it would. I was annoyed by my issues with the battery pack, and I think Evolved needs to stop putting push buttons on the bottom of their toys. Yet, the G-harmony is still good-looking and did provide me with nice clitoral stimulation. I hope that, one day, I can come back to the G-Harmony after I get to know my G-spot better, and we can be more harmonious together.

19 Comments

Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Buzz Bunny

November 11th, 2008

Buzz Bunny
from

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

Buzz Bunny, the “fantasy vibrator” kit promises a good time with it’s 5 in 1 functions. I must admit, it looks good. I considered this clitoral vibrator for some time before I finally bit the bullet and bought it. The price was more than reasonable when it comes to sex toys, averaging around $20. Unfortunately, this price was more than indicative of the quality of this toy.

At first glance, the Buzz Bunny kit is a cute pinkish-purple plastic toy and is fairly typical of sex toys. I’m not crazy about plastic blister packaging, and half-naked porn stars aren’t going to make me want a product anymore. Regardless, the Buzz Bunny looked versatile, a miniature pocket rocket with 4 additional silicone rubber attachments. I think in the end, the Buzz Bunny was a lot of fancy work that skirted around the bigger issue (orgasm!).

One of the reasons that I chose the Buzz Bunny is because the attachments are made of softer silicone rubber. I’d felt this through the packaging at an adult store but passed on the purchase at that time. While the attachments are soft enough to be pinched by fingers, they don’t really feel soft on my clit.

I tried first the rabbit attachment to find that the ear were rather hard, sharp and pointy. If the ears weren’t so long and prominent, I might have been able to enjoy the rest of the bunny more but it just didn’t work, no matter how I positioned the Buzz Bunny against my clit. I was disappointed.

I next moved on to the G-spot stimulator. It adds a bit of length to the Buzz Bunny and becomes like a small dildo. While I was able to reach my G-spot, again, the attachment felt too hard for me, and I quickly gave up that attempt. However, for those who like harder toys against their G-spot, this might work well.

I tried next the flared, penis-like attachment. I had the best experience with this. I enjoy rubbing the head of a cock against my clit, and this attachment simulated that well enough to bring me to orgasm. Although the attachment wasn’t any softer than the rest, I felt that the flared, round shape of this tool worked better with the material than the other shapes.

The nubby attachment and the Buzz Bunny without any attachments are both more like typical pocket rockets, except a little shorter. I actually find this preferable to the typical wand-style rocket. Paired with the flat, wide base, the Buzz Bunny is actually easier for me to handle. This base could also be used to use the Buzz Bunny internally without holding it.

The attachments are supposed to be improved over other toys because they screw on. Unfortunately, this sounds better in theory than it works in practice. The threading on the plastic Buzz Bunny and its attachments is very rough and uneven in places. I had some trouble getting some of the attachments to twist on easily and struggled to find the exact place where the attachment fit. I imagine this will very with each attachment and just depend on how clean the cut is. This idea would work better with a higher-grade plastic or metal.

Aside from the attachments, the package boasts that the Buzz Bunny has 5 powerful speeds. I’m not sure about this. I thought that the concept of the sliding control was to move seamlessly to more powerful settings rather than have recognizably different settings. Regardless, the Buzz Bunny is pretty powerful and I kept it on the lower end during my play.

However, when I wished to adjust the power, the sliding control was very jerky. It was not intuitive at all. I’m not sure if this was supposed to define the five different speeds or if it’s just poorly made.

Because the Buzz Bunny’s attachments are silicone rubber, this toy is not as high-quality as pure silicone toys. It may be partially porous, which means it cannot be completely sterilized. However, the silicone mix means it’s of higher quality than jelly rubber toys. Furthermore, the Buzz Bunny should only be used with water-based lubricants and stored away from other silicone toys, as this can cause degradation of the toy.

Overall, the Buzz Bunny is cute but looks and sounds better in theory. The low-end plastic and silicone rubber makes for a cheaper toy, and this shows with the difficulty screwing on attachments and the hard/shape attachments. If you’re not looking for much, this may be the toy for you, but if you prefer higher quality toys, I’d skip the Buzz Bunny despite its fair power range.

16 Comments

Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Cup n Cradle

October 22nd, 2008

Cup n Cradle

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

I love dual stimulators, having mostly used rabbits and wanting to expand my repertoire, I decided to try the Cup N Cradle. It’s a reasonably priced and unique-looking toy, so I gave it a shot. The Cup ‘n Cradle is really the first of its type to grace the market. With its knobby G-spot stimulator stemming from the cradle-shaped clitoral stimulator, which rests against your clit with its many soft finger-like protrusions, the Cup N Cradle is certainly different from any dual stimulation vibrator, let alone the traditional vibe! With a remote attached by wire and a vibrator bullet, the Cup N Cradle certainly seems inviting, and its small size is perfect for even a first-timer. Did I mention it’s made completely of a soft, semi-transparent jelly?

This toy seems foolproof. Slip the G-spot stimulator into your vagina, and the clitoral stimulator will cover a wide surface area around your clit to give you increased pleasure over other, smaller clitoral stimulators. Slide the button on the remote up, and you will feel pleasurable vibrations wash over your most sensitive spots. Grasp the toy as its base and apply pressure and movement to your heart’s desire.

However, while the toy may be wonderful in theory, it falls short in application. I found that the jelly material, the position of the bullet vibrator, and the controls were all lacking in some way, and this proved detrimental to the experience.

Although the Cup N Cradle is powerful for such a small unit, it’s best to always use it with fresh batteries. Batteries anything less than new will provide a less intense vibration, as with many toys. With a new pair of AAs, the Cup N Cradle was too strong for me to use at top speed. It was most comfortable somewhere in the middle.

While a strong vibrator is generally a positive thing, the location of the bullet meant most of the vibrations were concentrated on my hand rather than my clitoris or G-spot. In fact, while the bullet did stimulate my clitoris, the vibrations were non-existent when it came to the G-spot stimulator. Many of my sessions were cut short because my hands were so irritated from taking the brunt of the vibrations. Needless to say, I was not an orgasmically happy camper on these occasions.

One of the most noticeable aspects of the toy is its soft jelly material. For anyone who likes their toys soft and closer to the ‘real thing,’ the Cup N Cradle might be right up their alley, and it definitely allows for a lot of flexibility. It especially feels nice over the clitoris and the surrounding area, with the tiny nubs rubbing against flesh. The cradle provides a unique suction to the skin, which is quite pleasurable.

However, I have found that the jelly material of this toy is, perhaps, too soft. I cannot achieve the desired pressure that I need to easily orgasm with such a soft toy. This is especially a problem when it comes to achieving the pressure that many women need on their G-spot, especially when the vibrations are so weak in that part of the toy.

Also, the sliding control leaves much to be desired. I’m not sure if all sliding controls are so ineffective, but the Cup N Cradle did not have nearly the range of vibration intensity that I expected after several uses. It seems that somehow the slider had loosened up, requiring that the button be slid nearly 3/4 of the way up before the vibrator even turned on, greatly reducing the range of vibrations. At this point, the Cup N Cradle is vibrating at almost full force. However, if I press the slide down forcefully with my fingers, I can turn the Cup N Cradle on at a lower setting. This does not make for a relaxing experience.

Furthermore, the slider does not allow the vibrations to increase gradually and smoothly. Instead, the vibrations increase in a rather jerky manner, which can be a bit distracting. I would prefer a remote with digital buttons or another type of technology that offers more precise control over the vibrations of the toy.

Overall, the Cup N Cradle isn’t bad. With a little patience and practice, it can be quite the diligent helper when it comes to achieving orgasm, especially with its strong vibrations and wide coverage obe improvedoral area. However, the Cup N Cradle would be improved with a firmer material, better bullet placement, and controls that are smoother and more precise.

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Categories: Everything Else

Image © MisterUnlucky; used with permission.