Sweetheart I Rub My Duckie

March 7th, 2011

This is an archived review of a discontinued toy.

I have a soft spot for the duckie vibrators. Time and again, they have proved to be not quite as functional as they are novel, but I keep requesting them, anyway.

Thus, I am now the owner of an adorable Sweetheart I Rub My Duckie. Like the Santa duckie I already possessed, this one is travel-sized and comes in a plastic heart. The duckie sits on a stand against a pink background, and she looks super glamorous through the clear plastic in front. A bow attaches to loops at the top of the plastic, but you can pop the duckie out by removing the tape along the side.

The duckie has fashionable accessories: a feather boa that I think my cats have already stolen (removable because who wants to get it all yucky during play?). She is pristine in white/light cream with light teal eyes that are definitely feminine. She’s sort of like a monochrome version of the Paris Duckie, which I also own. There’s a tiny rhinestone jewel on her bill that adds to the feminine allure.

This particular duckie was stubborn when it came time to insert batteries, though. The cover is a piece of plastic (the entire thing is molded plastic, actually) that you push into place and turn to lock (the reverse opens it). A screw driver is handy (or fingernails of steel) but the hard plastic on mine seems to be slightly misshapen, making the entire process a pain in the ass. Unfortunately, all my hard work was for naught because my duckie didn’t work anyway. )= When I insert the battery (a single AAA), replace the battery cover and turn the dial from Off to On, nothing happens. Nada. At all.

Luckily for me, I enjoy the duckies for their aesthetic appeal and I already own a similar model so I am familiar with their vibration strength and operation. The small size means you’ll probably rely on the tail or sides, the broadest part, for pressure but the face and beak offer some pinpoint stimulation (all external, I don’t even know how you’d go about inserting this!). All the engraved text on the bottom makes me hesitant to use. I would really not have to clean off lubes and liquids from the tiny cracks and crevices.

Although the knob would indicate that the vibrations are adjustable, this is actually a one-speed toy. Considering how difficult it can be to turn the little knob, you’d think they would go with a push button control (or belly squeeze, as with the larger duckies). I was able to get off when I used the Sweetheart Duckie’s Santa cousin, but it’s not the type of toy I default to. The vibrations, as I recall, as relatively strong for the size but I’ll take a AA-powered toy over this, any day. In addition to this, the duckies do not tend to be all that quiet, so close your door, put on some music, and run the bath in the background, just to be careful.

To add to my disappointment, the Sweetheart Duckie does not float upright in water. Rather, she flops right over onto her side or back. After testing this out, I was further disappointed to find that water had found its way into the battery compartment. Even if the duckie had worked, I wouldn’t expect it to work for long, after several uses in the water or cleanings. But I’m not surprised because all of my duckies really did have a cheap feel to them when it comes to quality of craftsmanship.

tl,dr; The Sweetheart Duckie is cute, especially in her packaging, but maybe she should stay there because quality of these products is really hit and miss and you can find a decent toy for a comparable price without all the noise.

Comment


We Vibe II

September 9th, 2010

This is an archived review. WeVibe now makes several options for couples vibrators.

The We Vibe was always a toy that interested me, but not the type of toy I was willing to spend my hard-earned money on. You know the type. But I quickly asked to review it, and it arrived at my door shortly after. GV packed the box with a ton a swag. I mean, damn! A sample GV wipe, refrigerator magnets, a packet of sensitizing lube, and even a sample of massage lotion by Jimmyjane. I think I may be missing something. Regardless, swag is awesome.

I was as surprised by the size of the We-Vibe II as I was by the swag. I shouldn’t have been. I’ve seen countless pictures and several videos but this thing is just.. tiny. Any other dual stimulator vibe I have would dwarf this thing. f course, it makes sense when you consider that you need to be able to insert this and a penis into your vagina.

The We-Vibe II is about the length of the palm of my hand and much slimmer. The “U” shaped design features a thinner, insertable arm with ridges on the inside. These will, ideally, stimulate the G-spot. The external arm, for clitoral stimulation, is thicker and has smoother ridges along the inside (where it will touch the skin).

At the very end of the external party is a tiny, raised circle that you press to operate the toy. It makes an audible click when you do so. However, it is small and a bit more difficult to use when the We-Vibe is in place, as opposed to just sitting in your hand. Fleshy ladies may find their labia blocks access to the button but even without anatomical issue, it is tiny and requires precise movements.

We-Vibe II has a total of 9 settings. High, low, and multiple modes. According to a product card with the toy, these settings are throb, wave, pulse, ramp, tease, ascend and cha-cha. There’s a good mix of pulsation and escalation. I stuck to the steady vibrations, as I usually do.

Let me tell you that the We-Vibe II does not have the strongest vibrations that I have ever experienced but they are damned deep and rumbly. IT’s like.. straddling an idling tractor. Not that I’ve ever done that but that’s how I’d imagine it. The We-Vibe II quickly made me squirt and squirt a lot!

I do have two slight complaints about the controls/settings: no medium?! It threw me off every time. I’d try to increase the vibrations and skip “high” right to “throb.” I enjoy that you can turn the toy completely off just by holding the button for 2 seconds but I’d prefer two buttons so I can cycle either way.

Now, not having a real live penis to fully test out this toy, I opted for a vibrator. I grabbed a ceramic G-spot piece. In hindsight, it may have been wiser to pull a straight toy out of the box as, you know, most penises aren’t rigid, nor do they have an angled head like that. If only I had received my Vixskin dildo a bit earlier. Regardless, I gave it a go.

The toy I used has a 1.5″ diameter. Insertion without the We-Vibe is easy, and I rarely use lube. Insertion with the We-Vibe was a bit difficult. The ceramic obviously offers a lot of rigidity and the core of the insertable arm on the We-Vibe is quite rigid itself. I want to say that insertion would be easier with an actual cock but I’m not sure if that’s actually true.

I can tell you that because the casing of the We-Vibe is made of silicone, you should only use water-based lubes and, because said silicone is sticky in a smooth way, I’d be wary of trying to use it with other sticky toys (silicone, jelly, etc).

After insertion, I found that thrusting caused the We-Vibe to slide further into me, past my G-spot a bit. The general rumblyness of the vibrations still hit the spot but I don’t need pinpoint G-spot stimulation. If you do, I’m willing to bet you’ll spend a lot of time holding the We-Vibe II in place. In fact, I’d say this is not the toy for a rough and rowdy round of sex.

Admittedly, it was a bit uncomfortable when the widest part of the We-Vibe was sitting against the widest part of the toy and my pubic bone, so when it slid further in, the thinner neck wound up against my bone, and it was more comfortable.

Externally, the We-Vibe II just didn’t provide a whole lot of pressure or targeted stimulation. The neck is quite flexible, so I didn’t get the pressure I loved. However, the rumbly vibrations did provide a lot of general stimulation. I probably wouldn’t get off–clitorally–from it, but assuming that I could make it work during intercourse, I think I’d enjoy it.

At least, I would have.. if it hadn’t broken. You see, I used this toy right out of the box (after soap and water washing, of course). It came with a charge already, despite the fact that the manual says to charge it for a day before use. I was talking to Jules, who said that hers came charged but was much stronger after charging so I inserted what I thought was the AC adapter into the little hole under the button. The problem was, it was not the right adapter and I didn’t realize this until after I had it plugged in for several hours–of course!

I unplugged it as soon as I realized this error but the damage was done. My We-Vibe no longer powers on. )= It probably didn’t help that one of the cats decided to use it as a chew toy during charging.

My bad.

But, it does bring to light the fact that the charging port is kind of weird and I don’t really like it. There’s simply a hole in the silicone, and the portal is somewhere in there. You can’t see the edges of the port, like you do on any other rechargeable toy. It’s completely possible to miss the port at all, which I think I did a few times. I kept wondering, “Is it in yet?” It’s not the most difficult thing ever but I found it annoying, probably more so because I was using the wrong adapter at first. d=

Anyway, if it hadn’t broken, I’d have cleaned my We-vibe and put it in the included cinch pouch to prevent it from becoming covered in cat hair like it has. That’s definitely one of the things that I hate about silicone.

As it stands, the We Vibe is interesting enough that I am considering swapping or using some major couponage to replace it.

3 Comments


Pinwheel (Wartenberg Wheel)

August 25th, 2010

The Wartenberg Wheel was originally a medical instrument used to test sensitivity. It has since been adopted by kinksters who enjoy all sorts of stimulation, and many non-kinky sex toy retailers have started to sell it as well, including Good Vibes. They bill it as the pinwheel, which I will use from here on out.

So I asked for the pinwheel, and it showed up shortly thereafter. Immediately, I was surprised by how sharp the pins are. I guess I expected them to be a bit duller and others have said the same. However, I am wondering if different brands of pinwheel (this one’s made my Kookie International) may actually be more dull. I only have one, so I cannot say. Nevertheless, I do know that some brands come with a storage pouch/sheath, and the one that Good Vibes says it does, but mine did not. This is a shame because it’s sharp enough that I’d want to wrap it up to avoid damaging anything else or, Heaven forbid, stepping on it!

Let me back up a bit to describe this. The pinwheel is a long, metal handle with a slightly angled head that holds a wheel consisting of 20 or so metal protrusions or pins. A flathead screw connects the layers of the handle and the wheel itself to allow it to spin. The space around the wheel is enough to allow it to move slightly to the left and right, so there is a bit of wobble, and this causes it to make a metallic sound as well. The pins actually flatten toward the end, so they’re not exactly conical.

I am partnerless so I tried this one on for size myself. I quickly discovered that a super light roll across my upper back tickled in the way that I love. It sent shivers down my spine and created goosebumps that made the touch of the pins painful in a not-so-bad sort of way. It also worked to sensitize my lips (the northern ones). The same light tough was pleasurable along my thighs and outer arms.

Yet, I didn’t really enjoy it on my breasts at all. As I said, the pins are much sharper than I expected. So I have barely tried to apply any pressure at all. However, I can tell that the type of sensation a firmer touch would provide would be more enjoyable with a partner, especially because being aroused typically makes it easier to take more pain. With pressure, you can draw blood, and it becomes more apparent that the pinwheel isn’t perfectly produced. Some of the spokes are a little rough or a bit bent.

That doesn’t stop my mind from racing to determine other ways to use this. Over clothes or fabric? Sure. Heated or cooled? A little side-to-side scratching? If you so desire. If you hold the wheel still, you can use it to poke. And even the typical roll can vary from a steady path that never leaves the skin to quick strokes that pull away from it.

Traditional Wartenberg wheels were stainless steel, but there’s an area on mine where the finish has been scratched off, and I can see something coppery or brassy beneath it. I filed off a speck on the handle, and it seemed to be the same metal throughout. I have no idea what’s going on with that. And it doesn’t affect the functionality in the least, it’s just.. weird.

So, my final thoughts are that this Pinwheel is pretty neat. I don’t know what’s up with the sheath and coating, but I do know you should be careful when dropping it. Don’t catch it and cut yourself.

3 Comments


Love Bumper Iceberg

July 10th, 2010

Love Bumper Iceberg

Love Bumper Iceberg

Love Bumper no longer appears to exist, but you can buy similar sex position pillows from Liberator. Try the Axis Wedge, which has a slot for your favorite toy.

The Iceberg, by Love Bumper, was my first sex pillow. People love Liberator position pillows, even though they seem so simple. Folks are always talking about them and claiming that they really improve their sex lives, so I requested to review this one.

Initially, I was shocked by how firm this is. I wasn’t expecting a fluffy bed type pillow, maybe a thicker couch cushion but the Iceberg is much firmer than that, still. It’ll compress a bit under body weight but it’s pretty sturdy and will definitely give you a boost. The Iceberg came without any packaging or additional information. I Googled the company website for position ideas and there were a few.

The Iceberg is.. sort of four-sided. The bottom and back are straight and meet at a right angle while the longer side on top curves away from the body and the top of this panel meets a fourth, narrow side. Refer to the image to un-confuse yourself. d= The curved side features a small pocket (1 1/2″ x 2-3″) where the user can insert a vibrator. For whatever reason, Love Bumper recommends Lelo vibes but I have no idea what would make those vibes more suitable for this pocket. I used a small, straight vibrator with a bulbous head. Maybe it would work better to use a vibe whose shaft curved similarly to the pillow but I don’t see it being a big deal. What I can say, is that electric vibes probably won’t be ideal, nor would bullet vibes (they’d completely sit inside the pocket and it would be difficult to adjust during use). Any vibe with a button on the end of the base will require you to turn it on before use. A toy with a remote control (wired or wireless) might be your best option.

The body, especially the female body, is meant to press against this side so the vibe offers clitoral stimulation. In use, I found it a bit difficult to comfortably rest against the foam pillow and feet the vibrations for a couple of reasons. First, the angle that provided the best stimulation was hard on my hips because of the firmness of the pillow. Secondly, I’ve got a fleshier mons so the vibe didn’t necessarily get right up against my clit. Your mileage will vary, I’m sure, depending on your anatomy.

The most obvious uses of the Iceberg are to aid rear entry or oral (with the pillow raising her hips). Using the pillow in the same position as oral could also work for edge-of-the-bed (sofa, etc) sex or regular missionary to enhance G-spot stimulation. I tried it for doggy style but honestly found the foam a little too firm for comfort. Combined with personal issues, I haven’t used it as much as I’d like.

However, if I did use it and abused it, I could easily remove the “polysuede” microfiber cover to toss in the wash. It attaches securely via zippers on the sides and velcro on the bottom (in fact, all of the sewing seems pretty quality and the pocket is even lined with a pleather-y material). This part of the Iceberg is available in red or purple. The sides are not removable, however. It’s like likely for these areas to see lubes and liquids but I wish the whole thing had a removable cover. Instead, the material reminds me of pleather. I’d wipe it down with a damp cloth if I needed to, however.

The Iceberg is not a giant pillow. It could fit under some beds or in deep drawers(it’s 13 3/4″ wide and 13″ high at the tallest). You could probably hide it in a closet pretty easily and there’s position for it to be used outside of the bedroom, if you want, so no need to hide it at all.

My first impressions of the Iceberg by Love Bumper do leave me a little wanting. I will definitely have to give it a few more tries before making my mind up for good, though.

1 Comment


G-Swirl Vibe

May 1st, 2010

This is an archived review of a discontinued toy.

The G-Swirl Vibe is the production of two trusted names in sex toys–Good Vibes and Fun Factory. This result is a toy with all of Fun Factory’s signature elements and Good Vibes branding.

G-Swirl comes in packaging that is Fun Factory style in function (magnetic flaps, et al.), but the design features Good Vibrations branding. The branding continues onto the vibrator itself, where the Good Vibes logo is embossed onto the silicone (this logo is below the clitoral numbers, though, not on the useable part).

G-Swirl is a smaller G-spot vibrator with a ring of nubs around the base of the shaft to stimulate the clit and/or perineum. Mine is a very light pink, which I don’t love, but Good Vibes sells G-Swirl in other colours, which are pretty neat; I personally like raspberry.

The silicone shaft is designed with several ridges and ends with an angled head to stimulate the G-spot. The shaft can be bent any which way and the nubs at the base offer give as well, typical of Fun Factory silicone. The silicone is more the shiny, “grabby” type than some FF toys, however. It definitely picks up lint or cat fur (not like my cats ever poke their noses where they don’t belong), and using water-based lube can aid in penetration. As you would expect, G-Swirl has no scent and, when cleaned properly, shouldn’t pick up scents. (If it does, many people swear by Before & After toy cleaner to remedy this issue.)

G-Swirl is a bit thicker than some G-spot vibrators and the texture can be easily felt. My vag tends to be pretty texture-picky, but the size and shape of the ridges on this one were pretty enjoyable. The base–which is the widest point–has a diameter of 1.6″. The area just beneath the head (the narrowest part) has a diameter of 1.35″, so you can see the shaft gradually increases.

G-Swirl is mostly straight and offers four insertable inches. This might not work for you if you require a longer or curved shaft to reach your G-spot. I found the combination of the small head with its slight angle and softness of the silicone didn’t adequately stimulate my G-spot. I can usually rest a toy against my G-spot and squirt in seconds but I just couldn’t get enough pressure from the G-Swirl.

G-Swirl is controlled by Fun Factory’s second-generation style flower/star dial (although the internet suggests that a third-generation Smartvibes version also exists). The dial “locks” into place at two settings: Off and High. You can “customize” your experience by using any setting in between. The G-Swirl is fairly powerful on its highest setting, pretty standard for a toy powered by 2AAs. The highest setting is also quite deep, not surface level at all. The shaft carries these vibrations quite well but the denser nubs around the base don’t really.

Which I don’t really think matters because the nubs only extend out from the base about 3.4″ at the most. Needless to say, they come nowhere close to my clitoris, and while the nubs curve upward (or body-ward, you might say), they don’t do so enough to really even stimulate the vaginal entrance.

I did notice that G-Swirl feels stronger in my hands than during use. It could be because the shape isn’t right on my G-spot, however.

Sometimes, the G-Swirl seems a little rattly, which adds to the noise output. Without the rattle, it’s actually pretty quiet. But it seems like the rattle comes and goes and is definitely more persistent on higher settings.

For those of you familiar with this style of Fun Factory vibes, the battery cap can be a little difficult to wrangle. There are two points that you must squeeze to pop it off the end, and it can be a little hard on the fingers.

However, it’s pretty secure, and G-Swirl is splashproof, which makes cleaning with soap and water (a must for toys that collect lint this easily) a breeze and shower play an option.

1 Comment


Good Vibrations Guide to the G-spot

July 18th, 2009

“Good things come in small packages”.
“There can be too much of a good thing”.
“It’s the little things that count”.

At first glance at The Good Vibrations Guide to the G-spot (here on out just known at The Guide, okay?), it’s hard not to wonder if the Good Vibes team, including author Cathy Winks (a former Good Vibes employee, reviewer, and guide author), religiously stuck to one of the above cliches. Otherwise, why would this book be so damned short? Indeed, measuring in at 63 pages, a full 10 of which include references, resources and notes, it almost feels erroneous to call this a book. Perhaps “extended pamphlet” would be more accurate? In truth, I believe that Good Vibes/Ms Winks tried to be open and honest about a subject which has not been thoroughly studied or even acknowledged by the scientific community and, by extension, most knowledge is anecdotal, regarding personal experience, rather than tried and true scientific fact. Even then, what exists is little and, by sticking to the few facts there are, Good Vibes was only able to produce a slim book. In some ways, I applaud this approach because The Guide is essentially hype-free and that is definitely one of its strong points. On the other hand, it quickly becomes evident that there just isn’t enough evidence to warrant the writing of this book or the purchase unless you really prefer a hard copy to keep in the nightstand or are otherwise completely unfamiliar with the G-spot.

So a brief rundown of this brief publication. The introduction sets the attitude for the entire book and that attitude is extremely reassuring and comforting. Cathy Winks tells the reader that, yes, some women experience pleasure from G-spot stimulation in these ways and the G-spot can sometimes be located and stimulated in these ways, every woman is different. Some women need different techniques, have different shapes or quite simply are not positively affected by G-spot stimulation. And it’s all okay. The intro also introduces us to the quotes from real women that are printed throughout the book, describing their personal experiences.

Just the Facts, Ma’am is the chapter which follows and basically gives the reader an anatomy lesson. Cathy talks us through the clitoris, anus, vagina, perineum, urethra and, of course, the urethral sponge AKA the G-spot. In fact, most references to the G-spot seem to use the term urethral sponge. I find this to be slightly misleading because The Guide does not take the time to differentiate between the different erogenous zones located around the urethra/sponge – IE the G and U-spots. Some confusing wording in The Guide seems to imply that the erogenous zone near the urethral opening, also known as the U-spot, is simply the “external” end of the G-spot. I find this to be erroneous but perhaps it is simply another poorly researched topic. Similarly, there is no mention of the Anterior Fornix Erogenous Zone/A-spot. Regardless, the author explains that all the hype about G-spot orgasms has done a disservice to clitoral orgasms and orgasms in general as women right them off as the “wrong” kind of orgasms. By the end of the chapter you feel that, whatever works for it, it’s all okay.

I’d like to take the time to note that this chapter includes a diagram which I found especially unhelpful. Perhaps it is the size limits or the black and white or simply the image is not true to proportion for simplicity’s sake but it is not my favourite. In particular, the pubic bone seems incredibly far from the vagina.

The next chapter is perplexing in that it is its own chapter at all. Ms Winks explains to the reader that there really is no new information about female sexuality or the female body. Nothing is being discovered, only rediscovered when society finally decides it is acceptable. Body part by body part, she outlines the discovery and exploration of body parts from Kinsey’s findings on the clitoris to Grafenerg’s studies on the urethra and naming of the G-spot to historical recollections of the female prostate and how views about female ejaculation have changed over the years. Because this chapter was generally split up by body part, I’m not sure why it couldn’t be merged with the first. Additionally, much of the information felt like repetition, already. Save for the interesting fact that, for over 2 thousand years, scientists believed conception was due to both male and female ejaculations, there wasn’t much information worth reading and certainly nothing really new to me.

Exploration focuses on finding your grove (if one is to be found) with the G-spot. It starts with an emphasis on communicating with your partner, describes general location and feel of the G-spot and, like many other resources, advises plenty of play to increase arousal beforehand. The typical “come hither” technique is discussed as well as suggestions of position for solo and partner exploration, including intercourse. However, most of the chapter seems to cover ejaculation: how to (don’t forget those kegels!), who can do it, what ejaculate is made of so on and so forth. I found it interesting that no studies have been done to determine if female ejaculate could carry STIs. Again, this chapter reflects the great amount of uncertainty in the world of female orgasm and ejaculation.

Tips, Toys and Techniques delves into the PC muscle and spends a page or three stressing – yet again – that all orgasms are good and whether or not you have one type, another or a blend of all types it’s all okay. The chapter is summed up with description and even names of toys which might help stimulate the area. Cindy tells us that some women like vibration on the G-spot and others not, because it is responsive to pressure and not touch – a useful (but not new) tip, indeed.

And then the book is done – save for notes, references, resources and a note about the author.

Say what? Yes, that’s it. Besides a few interesting historical points, a tip that cervical caps may block access to the G-spot and the bit about ejaculate and STIs, there was virtually no information in here that I did not already know (and even those tidbits were something I could likely learn about via the internet). If you’ve Googled the G-spot more than once or followed any discussions about G-spot orgasm, you probably already have all of this information. So, if you’re like me and have the information but haven’t had a lot of luck with G-spot exploration anyway, this is not your solution. However, if you’re an absolute newbie to the G-spot, require your information in hard copy or are informed but still incredibly unhappy about your progress with G-spot orgasms, this book might be useful to you. Even still, it’s easier and cheaper to Google it.

10 Comments


Prepare to be Well Read

July 11th, 2009

Next week I will be bringing you not one, not two but three book reviews! They will include Best Lesbian Erotica 2009, SM101, and The Good Vibrations Guide To The G-Spot.

Comment