Swingin’ Pendulum

February 19th, 2009

Swingin' Pendulum
N/A from

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

When I picked out the Swinging Pendulum I was interested in triple stimulation. I’d just tried my first anal plug with a fair measure of success, and the “anal tingler” of this toy, paired with a thumb-like g-spot insertion and nubbed clitoral stimulator, seemed like a pretty package all wrapped up in pink. Unfortunately, there’s nothing swinging about this toy.

The Swingin’ Pendulum is little and cute – I would almost call it dinky. Made of hard plastic, the exterior of which is specially treated to result in a velvety texture (known as rubber/velvet cote), I liked how the Pendulum feels in my hand. Rubbercote can also be wiped down with an alcohol solution for sterilization or cleaned with soap and water.

This toy has a plug-in jack which, I think, is meant to make cleaning easier by allowing you to unplug the toy from the remote; the Swingin’ Pendulum is not waterproof. The remote control and battery pack felt alarmingly flimsy when empty, but the added weight of 2 AA batteries does improve this some. The remote features a dial control from “Off” to the highest “On” setting.

This sex toy is made up of 3 stimulators which combine to make the toy look like, well, a pendulum. The insertable, G-spot stimulator is thumb-shaped and curves slightly toward the front of the toy, where the G-spot would be. IT also has three pronounced rings toward the base. The clitoral stimulator makes up the front, bottom portion of the toy and has 2 rows of 3 evenly space nubs for a total of 6. I was initially put off of these nubs because they are hard. Finally, the anal stimulator tapers (like a.. tentacle?) and is topped off with a spherical knob.

Right out of the box (clear plastic with a half-naked blondie in the background – there isn’t a lot of useful information to be found), I tested out the vibrations. I had no problem inserting batteries or using the dial. The vibrations, which are centered in the bottom of the pendulum but translate to the insertable thumb pretty well, start off pretty mild, and as I turned them up, the vibrations changed smoothly without being too jerky. There is a light on the control pack which starts dim and grows much brighter as you turn up the vibrations and I suppose this would be nice in the dark. On the highest setting, this light makes the entire top half of the control glow.

One thing I found was that, at some point near maximum vibration, this toy starts to go wild. The vibrations become really shaky and unstable feeling, the light flickers a lot and the toy sounds as though it’s going to explode. I’m so not even kidding. It sounds like it’s really straining, as though California Exotic tried really hard to add some higher settings but this little toy just couldn’t handle it.

Testing aside, I wasn’t impressed. I didn’t realize how difficult to use and uncomfortable the Swingin’ Pendulum would be. My personal experience was that the clitoral stimulator was much too short to reach my clit unless I did something akin to the Hokey Pokey. The anal stimulator was also short and oddly placed so it simply sat between my cheeks and there was little vibration to be felt there. The G-spot stimulator carried the vibration the best but it wasn’t doing anything spectacular. I couldn’t even feel the nubs or rings and I wasn’t able to insert the toy as far as I would have liked because of its shape. The velvet cote mattered not to my girl parts.

The hard plastic has absolutely no give and, by now, I know there is no “one size fits all” when it comes to sex toys. I think a more giving material, like silicone, would make much more sense. Being able to adjust the clitoral and anal stimulators would have made this experience much more pleasant.  There was really only one part of this toy that did what it was supposed to, but I already have better G-spot vibrators.

Overall, this was a disappointing toy and experience. After using it, I actually felt a bit sore. The hard plastic meant I couldn’t grind against or rub the toy on me without it being painful. I could only really use it lying down (I thought I might be able to use it sitting, inside my panties) without it being uncomfortable and pinchy. Lastly, I took a closer look at the Swingin’ Pendulum and saw that it was not seamless; there were cracks and gaps where the pieces of the toy fit together, and I imagine this would be a perfect place for bacteria to hide – thus making this toy less sanitary than I’d like.

If you’re looking for triple stimulation or G-spot toys, there are many better options, including Mona.

14 Comments

Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Paris Duckie

February 12th, 2009

Paris Duckie
from

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

When Babeland first offered the Paris I Rub My Duckie for review, I was hesitant. After all, the duckie I really had my eye on was the Bondage version with his leather, spikes and bright red ball gag. Still, the entire line from Big Teaze Toys is pretty appealing, and I thought that I certainly wouldn’t be any worse off if I decided to add the Paris duckie to my collection; I’d already had a pretty good experience with the I Rub My Wormie so I opted for the duckie, and soon she was at my doorstep.

I expected the Paris Duckie to be more of a novelty, and I had read various accounts of how the duckie line performed; some folks loved it and were surprised by the amount of vibration they provided, while others were sorely disappointed. I was ready to accept the duckie even if she didn’t rock my world; I’d still smile every time I saw her in the shower, especially because our new shower caddy had a perfect place for her to perch. For anyone who needs a discreet toy, the Paris (or any other) Duckie is really a good solution.

My Paris Duckie was pink (although she is also available in black and white), and she arrived in a cylindrical container with a carry strap. She appeared to be on stage in her package and it was obviously this is definitely designed to show off her cute looks! With her lips painted pretty and pink, lashes dark and a little “diamond” nose stud, the Paris Duckie is not only cute but extremely feminine. In fact, I’d say the Paris Ducky is probably the only of the Duckie line which is specifically female. My Duckie was topped off with a feather boa around her neck in matching pink. All in all, she is pleasing to the eye and can get away with being in plain sight without giving you away.

But when I set out to actually prep my Duckie for use, I noticed 2 things which were not only annoying but counterproductive to my enjoyment of this discreet vibrator. First, I removed the boa because I knew it would not do well in wet conditions. Luckily, the boa is not a full circle but 1 piece with velcro on either end. As I undressed my pink Paris Duckie, I knew I would never put the boa back on. Although cute in pictures and for the first 30 seconds she is in the package, the boa is definitely a pretty useless piece of the Paris Duckie. My cats soon commandeered the boa, which had been sitting on my desk, and it will probably wind up in the trash eventually. If you actually plan to use the Paris Duckie (or at least keep it in the shower for decoration), the boa does no good. To top it off, I found the Duckie less pretty without her boa.

The other thing which I found frustrating is that the battery compartment, which is located on the Duckie underside, is screwed shut. This is the first toy I have had like that and I really find that unacceptable in a toy. All our screw drivers are in a toolbox outside, in our storage area, so I had to fetch one to open her up. Of course, my cats also stole that one so I had to get another when I wanted to take the batteries out. This was annoying enough to me but if you’re the type who stores toys without their batteries, I imagine you will soon tire of the hassle of removing the battery compartment cover.

Once batteries were installed (2AA), I tested out the Duckie. Squeezing her abdomen turns on her only speed which was surprisingly powerful. Yet, I also thought she was rather loud, which isn’t something you want if discreetness is a priority. To test my theory, I had my husband stand inside the bathroom, outside the bathroom and in the bedroom while I stood inside the running shower to see if he could detect the duckie. Luckily, he couldn’t even hear her when he was in the bathroom with me so I think I was perhaps super alert to the Duckie’s vibes.

I found the vibration to be the shakey type which I tend to like over most of my toys. Still, the vibrations were not as strong as I’d really liked. My favorite way to use my Duckie is with her tail against my clit (so she and I are facing the same way), but the vibrations were about the same strength throughout the toy. Because of her unique shape, the Paris Duckie isn’t good for insertion but I’m a clit girl anyway.

Although I found the vibrations of the Duckie to be enjoyable and even cause some spasms, I was not going to cum. I find it difficult to orgasm standing, so I headed to the bedroom. Here, I worked toward and orgasm, and while it did come, it was a long time in the making and not very pleasurable. It was also due mostly to my own efforts rather than Duckie’s. Sadly to say, this will not be my go-to toy.

When I used the Duckie in bed, I also used it with lube, and this led to another disappointment. Lube and liquids seemed to be getting into the battery compartment because it didn’t fit flush against the Duckie. Not only does this create concerns about safety (could the battery compartment be harboring bacteria?) but how would this duckie do in water? I expected my Duckie to do well in water and the packaging even says she will float but I was dubious. I filled my sink with water to test and discovered she does float – and upright! However, I was also right that some water was getting into the battery compartment. It wasn’t much and did not cause damage but I definitely would not use this toy completely submerged. I feel confident that my Duckie will be okay where she sits in the shower but she is not in the line of water. For a supposedly waterproof toy, this oversight is shocking.

Nevertheless, my Paris Duckie remains sitting on my shower caddy and looking ever-so-cute. She does bring a smile to my face and I’m sure I’m not the only one. If you don’t require super strong vibes to get off and are in need of a discreet vibrator, the Duckie just might do the trick. However, if you’re looking for a strong and versatile toy, the Paris Duckie probably won’t float your boat (ha!)

16 Comments

Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Petite Pink Ribbon

January 9th, 2009

Petite Pink Ribbon
N/A from

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

The Pink Ribbon Petite arrived in very minimal yet classy packaging. The vibrator, instructions, and included batteries (AA, but it’s still nice) were nestled in a tiny cardboard box over which slid a plastic sheath with the product name. Although it wasn’t as nice as, say, Lelo’s packaging, it was definitely less wasteful, and I appreciate that.

The Petite truly lives up to its name (which translates to small), being only 4 inches long. Ideally, it should fit in your hand but I found that this small plastic vibrator was a little too ‘boxy’ in parts, like on the sides. Although it seems to be curved well for a woman’s body, I think a more pronounced curve would fit better in my hand. I was much more comfortable holding and using the Laya Spot. I think it significant to mention that my hands are pretty small so this may be a personal preference.

The Pink Ribbon Petite is a special vibrator, however. First, some proceeds will go toward the fight against breast cancer. I think this is a noble effort, but it would be interesting to know just how much a “portion” is. Secondly, the plastic is treated so that it feels velvety. Holding the Petite in my hand feels great because of its texture. The Petite is also feminine and cute, discreet, comes with batteries and is easy to operate.

The Petite is not, however, my sex toy of choice. Starting with the shape, which was just a little awkward for my hand and also did not work to lay this toy flat against my mons. The curve was just not enough. Because of it’s specific shape, it really doesn’t work so well holding it any other way (like with the controls toward my vagina rather than up toward my mons).

The controls are also something that makes little sense to me. First, they’re situated in a strange place. When holding this, the heel of my hand is over the controls rather than my fingers and I’m pretty sure I’m doing it “right.” This 3-speed vibrator caught me off guard when I realized the horizontal switch first moves to the highest setting, then medium, then low. So it’s Off-High-Medium-Low. I forgot one time, warmed myself up on the highest setting, thought I’d turn it higher and was disappointed when I realized that was the highest setting.

So you can probably guess my next point, which is that the vibrations are not so impressive. My clit isn’t super sensitive; I never get off from vibration alone and to even feel relatively stimulated, I need a decent vibrator. The vibrations in the Petite are rather small. In fact, rather than increasing in power when I turn up the settings, they tend to increase in frequency which doesn’t really do much for me. At the highest setting, it’s more like an annoying buzz. Because of this, I would only recommend using this toy directly on your skin (not through panties, which is something I like to do).

Nevertheless, vibrations aren’t usually the deal breaker for me. I love pressure and if I can rub a toy against me in the right way, I can get off without vibrations (I did this with the Laya Spot). I just couldn’t do it with the Petite. Natural Contours tried to create something that would work well for most females, and maybe I just don’t fall into that category, or maybe they failed. Although velvety on the outside, this toy is overall hard. When trying to rub the curved end around my clit and labia, it hurt if I applied any pressure. I think a combination of shape and material just makes this toy ineffective for that purpose.

As I wind down my review, I’m disappointed. I could not orgasm with this toy and I have had orgasms with some pretty crappy toys. I cannot see this toy working for anything more than warm up and it probably won’t even work well for that. It’s a looker but that’s about all. The biggest impression the vibrations left upon me was that of annoyance and the shape and feel just did not lend itself well to applying pressure. The controls are awkward, both in function and position.

In my opinion, the benefits (donation, batteries included, texture, look) simply pale in comparison to the disadvantages of the Pink Ribbon Petite. If you’re shopping for a clitoral vibrator, I would recommend any Siri over this one. If you want to lend a helping hand, a full donation to a charity would likely do more good.

24 Comments

Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Image © MisterUnlucky; used with permission.